Chou Shoki I: Learning from Yesterday
by 4TheLoveOfInu
Summary: Raised to be a cold warrior since the age of four, Minamoto Kagome, destroys anyone who gets in her way. With the spirit of a warrior and a reputation as a rogue, Sesshoumaru protects what's his. And what he wants to possess more than anything is Kagome.
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE READ THIS **BEFORE** YOU READ THE STORY

There are a couple of things that I must make clear before readers begin this story. First of all, I want to let you know that "known" characters in this story are out-of-character and therefore can not be seen or treated the same as in the anime or manga. So, please keep an open mind for I have foreseen all the details about these characters to be that way for a reason.

Secondly, since this is the first part of a trilogy, I want to make it known that in writing this fanfic, I used a specific time and setting in Japanese history. Given the fact that my usage of time is important, I must also make it a point to state that my entire trilogy will be intertwined with the episodes in the anime. Therefore, this first installment will be pre-anime, if you will. Like I said, time IS important and as the story and the trilogy develop, then the reader will know why.

Thirdly, I mention that I use Japanese history in my story. There are some real places and episodes in the history of Japan that I molded to my story. So, if anyone reads anything that sounds familiar to a myth or story, then it might be. I might not always state this in the chapters, but if you want to know, then ask and I will be more than glad to answer.

Fourth, in the first two or three chapters, it may be a bit "mild", but give it a chance, and, as the story unfolds, you will see that it is actually worth reading.

And lastly, I would like to thank my beta, Kiyota, from Kag/Sess. Thanks for your support - it means alot! I want to wish you a good read and hope to hear from all of you soon. **Happy reading!**

Sincerely,

Fallenarchangel

P.S.

I know that some people read on other sites, so I just want to let everyone know that if you visit or are a member of (under _fallenarchangel_) or (under _WhiteLotus_), then you might see this story posted also. Just make sure that the penname are those I mentioned above and if they're not please let me know. Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, I decided to repost these first chapters because there was so much confusion when I switched point of view. And, in all truth, I kind of discovered the stupid little line that breaks in the chapters! Yeah, I know, 'bout time!

Anyways, any new reader, I will tell you something now that I have "wet my feet". I shouldn't be saying this since it's MY story and I would appreciate that you read it from this first chapter. But given so many previous confusions, I think that it is a bit safe to say that this chapter is not so important when starting to read this fic. HOWEVER - and note the capitalization - that this chapter will be a VERY IMPORTANT key point in the story. During which you will understand things that when first reading did not make sense but eventually will.

I guess, what I'm saying is that you _may_ skip this chapter but DO come back to it. There are some things that will come into play as the story unfolds.

And, so, please enjoy this story that has given me so many headaches, insomnia and frustrations.

A special thanks to my beta, Kiyota, who is responsible for encouraging me to share this with all of you.

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Yet there are things whose strong reality outshines our fairyland; in shape and hues more beautiful than our fantastic sky.  
- Lord Byron, Child Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto IV

Chapter 1

**December 19, 2035 A.D. 6:53AM Matsumoto, Nagano, Japan**

The yellows and oranges in the early dawn came dancing into the Tsukimi Yagura (Moon Viewing Room) giving it a most warming and welcome look to any who entered. The breakfast plate had been removed for almost twenty minutes as I waited for my visitor. I took in a deep breath and inhaled the smell of the fresh morning. The soft notes of Beethoven's _Moonlight Sonata _played in the background.

A slight creak of the wooden door announced the presence of one of the family's most trusted friend. _Hmm...I must make remember to get that fixed._

"He's here. Shall I escort him to the library?"

I turned to her and smiled. "Iiee (no), that's fine. Bring him here and make sure I am not bothered, please."

"Very well."

"Have you seen my meito (mate)?"

"Hai (yes). He said he would be out with his brother and his meito, overseeing the latest project. He asked me to tell you that he shall give you the space to speak to your guest."

"Shall I also deny your presence to the rest of the family?" She added.

"Do not worry about them. I spoke to them last night. They knew I was not to be disturbed." She nodded and returned two minutes later.

She stepped aside and beckoned for the young man to enter, closing the door so just my visitor and I were left. Light footsteps entered the room and I motioned with my hand to a seat next to my own. The two seats were positioned facing towards the horizon. The young man who entered was in his mid twenties, dark hair, cerulean eyes (a trait passed down from his lineage, no doubt), tall and had a well built physique. He was wearing a dark blue Armani stripped dress shirt tucked inside Tomas Ave. stretch wool black dress pants with flared legs ― no doubt the influence of his girlfriend. A wave of long-forgotten nostalgia and a purple robe flashed within my heart's eye. He bowed and stood rigidly.

_

* * *

_

He knew he shouldn't really be here. He promised his fiancée, Sayuri, that he'd wait at least until she'd "prepared the field". But being the curious man he was, he just had to come. He had had his secretary call the Matsumoto Palace incessantly until the Lord and Lady almost filed a restraining order on him.

_Thankfully the Lady had agreed to a meeting in exchange for his discretion. He had not slept for three days since then. He was just too excited and it had been hard as hell to keep it from his fiancée but he knew in the end it would be worth it and she would understand. That was five days ago. Now, as he stood outside the study of the Matsumoto Castle, better known to its inhabitants as the Crescent Moon, he couldn't help but feel small. _

_The walls of this great architecture had endured many wars and been witness to many joyous as well as tragic events in the lives of its inhabitants throughout the centuries. As he looked at the many tapestries and paintings adorning the wall, he knew he had made the right choice by coming here. He turned nervously when he heard the woman open the door and beckon him in._

_This was it. Now or never. Everything he'd dreamed about when growing up and that he'd heard of from his grandfather. He straightened rigidly as he stepped through the door. He only heard the soft locking of the door behind him. _

_Now, since Ryouhei had met his fiancée three months ago at a small dig down in Cairo, he had not had eyes for any other woman. But in front of him, aside from Sayuri, stood the most beautiful female he had ever laid eyes on, Morikawa Tomiko, Lady of the Western Lands. Beautiful hip-length raven tresses with two silver chunks on either side of her hair cascading down her back, lavender eyes that captured any within their range, alabaster perfect skin, curvaceous, toned body of a goddess and the powerful aura that could only come with age. She was wearing a silver Chaiken casino fitted halter top with a deep v-neckline made of brocade that tied around the neck. Her black silk St. John chiffon-pleated pants had side-slits that were no doubt tailored specifically for her. He knew she was much older than him, but she could easily pass as someone of his age. _

_She could have stayed there across from him and manage to keep him still without having to say a word. Instead she chose to smile and the entire world stood still. He knew that smile too well. It was the last thing he saw at night and usually the first to see in the morning._

_He bowed and followed her motioning hand to the seat next to hers._

"_My lady."_

* * *

"My lady. I am most honored that you agreed to spare some minutes of your precious - " I interrupted with a wave of my hands.

"Blah, blah, blah. _Please_, Kuroki-san, if I'd wanted someone to grovel at my feet, I would have paid Dangerause there," – pointing to the woman outside the door – "to do that." I gave him a blank stare. He tensed even more.

"Oshiete (tell me), what is a renowned shigakka (historian) like yourself want with my family? Surely we are not as important as the media has made us out to be," I winked at him.

He relaxed and sat down. "Sumimasen (pardon me), I am not accustomed to dealing with royalty. And I thank you for the compliment. Hai, I have had the fortune of having some of my scribbles turned into books. But then again, you already knew that." He blushed, which I thought was really endearing.

"Oh, don't apologize. Just tell me why you are so adamant about the past." I cocked my head and looked into his eyes, ignoring his comment.

He blinked several times and seemed to think on his words. "Actually, it's not so much about _the_ past, as it is about _your _past. Demo (but), I wouldn't be completely honest if I did not wish to know about _their_ past and their connection to yours... my family, I mean."

I looked out the balcony before smiling at him. I stood up and he was about to do the same, but I held out my hand to pause him. "Why is it so important? It never has been an issue of interest before."

He reached for a small cup of water and took a sip. Then he gave me a perfectly genuine smile. "Because no one in my family has ever before realized who you truly are...Kagome. Or is it Jelena (pronounced _yell-ay-na_)? Or perhaps, Katerina?"

I had to smile again. _Yes, he was different from all the others_. Not that the rest were not special, but this one... _yes, perhaps the match would last_.

"What makes you think any of those are my name or that I'm even royalty?" I was curious as to how much he thought he knew. Obviously, not much since he was here.

"You and I know that _all_ are and that you do come from royal lineage. Onegai (please), all I desire is to know." His voice no longer that of a historian, but of a simple man who yearned for truth.

I turned away from him once more to look out. How much had everything changed. I remembered a time when there was nothing but green landscapes for miles and miles. Trees covered the valleys; rivers ran across the land and animals roamed free. Not a single building was in sight and no car smoke polluted the sky. _Had it really been so long ago?_

"Lady Tomiko, daijoubou desu ka (are you alright)?" a slight worry carried in his words.

I sighed. "Hai. Sumimasen, I was reminiscing."

"Tell me everything."

I frowned at him. "_If_ I were to tell you everything, what do you plan to do with the information?"

"Tell everyone the truth. I think it is time everyone knew the reason they are alive today." He shifted in his seat. He continued, "You may choose not to believe what I am about to tell you, but I wish to be completely honest. Not even my fi―," he bit his tongue and quickly corrected himself, "girlfriend knows about this, but," he hesitated before continuing. "For the past two months, I have been having the same dream. In each one, I am visited by a man, whom sadly, I still don't know who he is. This _man_ always gives me the same orders: Visit the Chosen and tell them that time is upon them."

"This _man_ told you to visit the Chosen. What does any of that have to do with me?"

"Is not your family's crest this one?" He unfolded an ancient scroll with a symbol I recognized. I nodded and he continued, "I wish to write a book about you."

I regarded his words. There was no trace of lie in his scent and his words had a secret meaning which only my mate and I would ever understand. Sitting once more, I spoke, "I will tell you, but you must do something in return for me. Do we have a deal?"

"Anything," he answered without a single doubt.

"Well, then, let's see. Where shall I begin?" I paused for dramatic effect and then I continued. "I suppose I can start at the beginning..." I brought my legs down from one side of the seat.

I inched the sofa closer to his and I straightened my back. "Now, what I am going to do is something that I have not done in years, so you are going to have to trust me. This form of magic is very powerful and whatever scene plays in front of your eyes... all the emotions... you will see and feel them as if you had been there. Take in mind that you will also see and feel things through all the parties' eyes and not just mine. Do you wish to continue?"

"Hai." Pulling him down to the floor with me, we sat across each other with legs crossed. I put my hands on his temples and asked him to close his eyes. Summoning all my dormant ki (energy), I chanted the words that would take me back to where it all began...

_To the year 1165_.

**

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**

1165 A.D.

In the village of Nara, was born Taira Midoriko, of the Taira imperial line. Graced in both beauty and great power, Midoriko would grow to become a warrior princess that would, unbeknownst, begin a chain of events set forth by her death.

Being a princess was something that gave Midoriko not only power but respect. Nevertheless, she would be raised by her parents to earn both of these virtues. Her father would teach her bushido, kyudo and kendo, while her mother would help her harness her miko powers passed down by her mother's descendants. At the age of sixteen, she had not only accomplished to become the greatest and most feared warrior, but also the most powerful priestess. Villagers from all around the land of Nihon (Japan) would praise her for her great deeds and welcome her into their provinces. She was respected as a princess and as a priestess. She had everything a young woman could want. Above everything, and a well-kept secret, she had found love in the arms of a young general, Ryouga. Not just any general, but the general to the infamous Nishi no Daiyoukai (Great Demon of the West). Yet, they had not let something so wrong in the eyes of others, stop them.

**1184 A.D.**

A few months short of her nineteenth anniversary, while away fighting demons in a northeastern village, the imperial palace would be attacked by rebels from the Minamoto clan (long time rivals of the Taira family). The entire palace would be ransacked; everyone murdered and left to burn. The emperor and his wife would also be burned but tortured before they would turn to ashes. At her return, Midoriko came upon a beaten villager, who, before dying, told the princess everything. Crushed by the news of her parents brutal death and the burning of her entire furusato, she did the only thing she could – she fled to her uncle's home - where her uncle proceeded to change her family name to save them both. Upon their arrival on the furusato of Kamakura, her uncle showered her with the sympathy and care that both needed. Little did she know that she had walked into the wolf's lair and that her uncle had been part of the conspiracy that had killed her parents.

Thirteen months after her arrival she was informed of her betrothment to an unknown lord. Her uncle was greedy and saw the opportunity to unite two great lines and therefore had quickly accepted to marry her off. Finding out about her uncle's betrayal, she immediately formed a plan.

**1185 A.D.**

She agreed to marry the mysterious lord, but soon after their marriage, she financially ruined her uncle and threw him out. She could have killed him, but the pleasure of seeing him beg was even better. Life with her husband, Lord Seiwa, was miserable. Although he treated her well, she felt nothing for the man, because he stood for the two things that she had come to hate ― the Minamoto and marriage. It had been after the marriage ceremony that she discovered that he was the new chosen emperor. He was much older than her – fifteen years to be exact – and he constantly wanted to bed her. Her misery would somehow lessen with the arrival of their first child, Kyo. Kyo looked exactly like his father with his dark brown hair, same nose and tanned skin. The child possessed great power and this was evident from his birth. Midoriko loved her child and took him everywhere. Kyo became her reason for living, her light at the end of the tunnel. Her miko warrior days had been cut short due to her duties as empress and now as a mother. Still she continued aiding the villages by protecting them from the constant attacks of demons wishing to obtain her great powers. Powers that had been diminished now that she was no longer physically pure.

**1187 A.D.**

Another light would come into her life on April 5, when she gave birth to her second child, whom she would name Kagome. And THIS Kagome...

is me...


	3. Chapter 3

**We are entwined - let death come slow or fast - The tie which bound the first endures the last.  
-Lord Byron, "Epistle to Augusta"**

**CHAPTER 2**

**1191 A.D. **_**APRIL**_

I watched my father as he was given a small purplish pearl. It glowed with much beauty and it radiated with great power. I can't say that I remember what he was told, but I do remember him collapsing on his knees and crying. It would be one of the two times I would see him cry. I felt my own pain rising from within my heart, though I did not know why. Before a single tear could form in my eyes I saw this pearl pulsate in his hands before it raised itself in the air and come to settle between my hands. I felt it call to me and felt its immense power seer through my body before its light faded. Even at the tender age of four I knew that this was her soul calling out to me.

I knew she had died. She had told me several times when going on our morning rides that she felt her end coming soon.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Kagome?" Her voice, although distant, would sweetly reach my ears.

"Hai, Okaa-san (mother)?" Kyo, Kirara and I would be trying to catch the few fireflies that were leaving with the first rays of the rising sun. Kirara was a small neko (cat) mononoke who my mother found on one of her travels around the land. Although Kirara was a mononoke, my mother saw no threat in her. The neko had been injured and was on the verge of death. My okaa-san healed her and from that day, they had been inseparable, fighting side by side.

"I will be leaving you soon and will not be coming back." She turned to me and tried to smile.

In my innocence, I gave her the widest smile and raced to her side, hugging her as tightly as possible. "Can Kyo-nii-chan (brother) and I come with you? I love father but, I love you more."

She gave a sincere laugh. She embraced me as tightly as my small body would allow. "I love you both very much. But where I go you cannot follow."

Her gaze would sadden and she would look away again before saying, "Seek justice for the righteous. Bring hope to the faithless. Dedicate your life to your people and to protecting those who need it with the gifts that have been bestowed upon you."

She paused again searching for words that my young mind could understand. "Promise me that you will never give your heart to a man that does not deserve it. And if by chance you should find a fortunate man that you both will fight for your love against all odds. Don't let my mistakes fall upon you, my beautiful hime (princess). Never give your heart away unless you are sure about his unfailing love for you, because in the end... that love is all that will save you. Promise me this and be brave for me." The urgency of her statement would stun me.

I simply nodded, not knowing then that she was sealing my fate. She rose and began walking, leaving us alone in the garden. This would be one of the many times she would repeat this to me.

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

My father's distraught gaze followed the pearl until he saw it fall in my hands. I thought I heard a faint gasp, although I'm not sure if it was from my father. He stood up and went to hug me. There was little time for me to investigate about this strange glass ball, when the cries and the smell of smoke reached me. Several guards came in and informed my father about intruders.

He called for Lana, my lady-in-waiting, and two of his most trusted guards. Picking me up, he thrusted me to Lana and commanded to them to take me to some monastery. He reached for a piece of parchment and wrote a message on it. Rolling the paper, he took off his ring and continued with his orders. Embracing me once more, he pushed us to the back of the palace.

I remember looking back as we escaped through the forest. The view of burning huts, the loud crashing of thunder and lightning and the flying arrows was something I never thought I would see as well as the heart-wrenching cries of the slaughtered villagers. What made me more scared was the fact that Kyo was not with my little party.

Lana's sobs were loud as she ran with me in her arms. I yelled at her to stop and go back for Kyo, but she would not listen. My cries were futile as I pulled and struggled for her to release me. So, seeing that I was not getting through her, I did the only thing my childish mind was sure would work.

I bit down on her ear.

She released me with a loud shriek. I fell hard, but the pain in my heart was bigger. I ran as fast as my little four-year old feet could take me. I made it as far as the temple gardens. What greeted me there was a most horrifying scene that would be forever engraved in my mind.

There, in the center of the garden, stood my injured father. To his left was a small child, bound, beaten and gagged. I didn't need to move any further to know it was my aniki (elder brother). My father was pressing his hand to his left ribcage as he reached with a trembling hand to give a bag to a man dressed in what I know now were ninja clothing. I cannot, for the life of me, remember many of the events that happened afterwards. But in two days following my mother's death and the attack on our city, my life would be thrown into a deeper, darker hole.


	4. Chapter 4

**_From every sense of shame and virtue wean'd, in lies an adept, in deceit a fiend; Vers'd in hypocrisy, while yet a child...  
-Lord Byron, "Damaetas"_**

**CHAPTER 3**

**1191 AD **_**NOVEMBER**_

Six months had now passed since the sacrificial death of my mother. I was on my way to a Buddhist monastery on the Western mountains. The small carriage made me feel claustrophobic. If not for Lana, I would have probably gone insane by now. I tried hard to comprehend the events that had taken place in the past few months. My mother had died, sacrificing her soul (now in the form of the infamous Shikon no Tama) to save all the land and just two days after her death my brother had been beheaded...by order of MY FATHER! It was too much for me to handle. I had been in awe at the audacity of my father. And that would be the start of many disappointments from the men that entered my life.

The twenty-nine, brown-haired, woman sitting in front of me must have seen my frustration and the confusion in my face because she patted my hand and whispered, "Child, stop frowning! It will only ruin your face and wrinkle it."

I knew it was meant to make me smile, but I was too troubled. No one should have to go through this at my age. I had lost two of my favorite people in the same week and now I was shunned and sent away by the only person I sought refuge in. On top of that, I was denied the pleasure of my beautiful Kirara, who stayed in the palace.

Did he really fear the attackers so much that he'd kill one of his children and send away another just so he wouldn't loose a piece of land? My otou-san (father) had explained to me that he had rather killed Kyo himself than have some stranger do it. That was why he had paid the man money and given him some lands to leave. He also said that I had been spared because I had not been seen.

Something at the back of my mind told me that this was not entirely true. But this was my father... and I believed him.

There were nights when I would stay up and ponder on these things until sleep came. Too many coincidences, too many things that just did not add up. At one point, I came to the conclusion that the reason my father had send me away was that, according to everyone, I looked too much like my mother.

Kyo held the same hazel-colored eyes as my mother and inherited her grace; mine were lavender with a hint of grey and much wider. My nose was thinner and my lips were a dark shade of pink. I could not see why anyone would tell me all the time that I resembled her features almost to perfection.

"Lana? Do you think father hates us?" I couldn't help but ask. I needed reassurance that this was not the reason I was being send away, even if it was a lie. I had matured years in only a few months, but I still held some childish insecurities.

"Oh milady. You know well as I do that you are being taken to the monastery to train you in the ways of the miko and of the bushi, just like the late empress. Your father only wishes for you to continue in the heritage. You will one day rule all of Nippon and Lord Seiwa only wishes for you to be able to defend yourself and your people against oncoming dangers." She sighed and went to sit next to me.

"Then why did he order brother's death?!"

"Kagome, must we go through this again?" She leaned closer to my ear to whisper so none of the guards could hear us. She was the only one who could refer to me without the honorific.

"Your brother is now in a place where nothing could ever harm him again. Aren't you happy at least with that?"

I glared at her. Nothing or no one could convince me to believe the reason why my father had done what he did. One day, though, I WOULD get my answer. For now, I just sighed and nodded. She was right; my brother was in a better place.

My arrival, of course, was expected. The head monk, Tanaka, was at the front of the walled gate waiting for Lana and me to descend from the carriage. He was an aged man who held no emotion in his face and whom I could tell held much hidden. He had been informed of the recent events that had occurred at the imperial city and was also instructed as to what I would be doing there.

Lana exited first and held her hands out to me to help me down. Tanaka-sensei, as he would have me call him, bowed as soon as my feet touch the ground. "Welcome, Princess Kagome. Your presence will most definitely be a change to our monastery," he said without the slightest of emotions.

"Arigatou, houshi-sama (Buddhist priest). I appreciate your hospitality for I know that I am one of the only two onna (woman) who have had the honor of being trained here." I tried to imitate his tone, but failed miserably.

"Ah, yes. Your mother was unique. She brings great honor to this monastery even in her death." His tone was much the same yet I did find a hint of sadness before returning his gaze to me.

"You'll be shone to your room where you will be taking your dinner. You are not to leave at any time unless given direct permission from me. You will not talk to anyone for you are a female. I will come to get you at first light tomorrow morning. Konba wa (good evening), hime." With that said he turned and headed up to the monastery.

**

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1197 A.D

_**. MAY**_

My stay at the monastery was busy, that being an understatement. I was drilled physically, spiritually as well as intellectually every waking moment. My strength was tested to its limit. There were moments at which I felt like giving up, but Tanaka-sensei would not have that. He would punish me if I failed or gave up, which resulted in severe castigations. My punishments included running with boiling pails of water along rock-strewn mountains (only to have it thrown in my face when I came down because it got cold and was spilled throughout my path), to sleeping outside during the winter and rainy nights with nothing but the rags on my body. "_Let me in, sensei, I swear I'll behave. I swear it. Please don't leave me out here alone. I don't want to be cold anymore. Please!"_ No one would come.

In a few weeks, I learned the hard way all that my sensei (teacher) anticipated of me. Tanaka-sensei expected me to learn all the scrolls found within the walls of the monastery. I was instructed for hours on history, literature, math, science, kendo, bushi, kyudo. I was not allowed days off and was only given a one hour break for my meal. I was fed scraps that not even a slave or dog would eat.

"_You're not worth rotten cabbage. Dung is all you deserve for your food."_ The words from a monk-in-training echoed in my head every time I sat down to eat. That monk had thrown me toward...

Throughout my stay here the only thing that would keep me going was the things that Tanaka-sensei would tell me every time I did something wrong:

"_You are worthless, animal. Good for nothing at all. You're not even worth the scraps it takes to keep you alive. If I'm lucky mayhap you'll die and save me the winter rations for an animal that has some value." _

"_You're weak. Cowardly. The world belongs only to those who are strong enough to take it."_

"_It's a good thing that your mother and brother are dead, for they would die of shame knowing they are related to one such as weak as you!"_ Those would fuel my anger and therefore made my get up and try again.

Everything I did was wrong and weak. To all who lived in the monastery, I was tainted. _I might have royal blood, but I also bore the blood...of something_. Tanaka-sensei never could finish that line. So he would turn me to the monks, who took their hatred for their daily chores on me. Any time, during those first three years, that one of the monks was angry at Tanaka-sensei, I suffered for it. I grew up as everyone's scapegoat. I never cried out. I knew better and later would grow accustomed to the abuse that I didn't even bother. It was miracle that none of the physical wounds had remained, even if the emotional ones did.

My last day, two days before my birth day, I was meditating in my usual spot on a waterfall half a days walk from the monastery when I heard someone coming. My miko powers had increased to unimaginable lengths, helping me locate anything coming a half a mile away. I did not move, knowing already who was coming my way. I heard the oncoming arrow yet I refused to move. It passed mere centimeters from my left ear. A smirked crossed my face. Finally reaching the rock where I meditated, he sat next to me but did not look my way.

"You know, this was your mother's favorite meditating spot also. She would sit here for days and come back feeling much better." He kept looking at the scenery and exhaled sharply before he said in a whisper, "I miss her."

I quickly opened my eyes and turned to him, "I miss her too. But I miss my aniki (older brother) more. Unlike mother, he had barely begun life."

I missed the glint in his eyes as he said, "Yeah, too bad he'll have to do without the comforts of the palace."

I closed my eyes once more before answering, "Hai, he-". I was cut short. My head whipped around.

"Relax **fenikkusu** (phoenix). I have known of your secret since you came here. Your hand-maiden told me what you did and I am amazed as to the lengths you are willing to go to try and save your loved ones. You inherited the kind heart of your okaa-san. I am proud to be your sensei... today and always."

My jaw must have been hanging because he laughed until his sides were hurting. I had never heard his laughter. The melodic sound made every thing here worth while. I had to recognize that I would miss the insufferable man. Irregardless of the hell I had lived here, he had been the closest thing to a father figure for the past six years.

He looked at me with an intensity that puzzled me. With an exasperated sigh, he looked ahead of him. "It is essential that you know before you leave today that all that you lived here was for one reason: survival. Your anguish and grief cut through me like a sword through flesh. But I didn't reach out because deep within me I knew that you can endure so much more. You are courageous and strong. Bold and stubborn. Unlike any other in the entire universe." I couldn't breathe as he spoke. Nothing he'd done had ever given an indication that he saw me as this creature he described. In fact, it was the complete opposite.

"You are so strong in life. An iron forge that could withstand any blow. You will need nothing or no one. But the world will depend on you and I can say with every fiber of my being that you will not disappoint."

My insecurities resurfaced for the first time since I came as a frown crossed my face. "Do you think _she'd_ be proud?"

"What makes you think she wouldn't? Even before, I know she was proud of you." He hugged me and kissed my forehead. "I will miss you fenikkusu. You are your mother's daughter. I know that you will always do what is right. I hope one day I will have the honor of training your children?" A smile crossed his mouth as his aged eyes began to sprout with tears.

"Domo arigatou (thank you very much). I will miss you too. I will honor you wherever I go." Quickly rising, he beckoned me to hurry. My father's carriage had arrived.

* * *

The carriage descended down the last valley bordering the Imperial City. It had extended outwards a bit more since my last time here. There were more huts and several other two story houses as well as shops. Acre after acre was filled with rice paddies and several farming areas. It seemed that the city had prospered much.

_Kamakura_...Home Crappy Home. It was as beautiful as when I had left, perhaps even more so. It is surrounded by mountains on all three sides and by an ocean on the fourth. Though nothing superficial appealed to me after my training.

We continued through the outskirts. I wished to avoid any contact until I first saw my father. The yagura (guard tower) and the four tenshukaku (castle towers) were the first things to come into view. As we neared, the large park area surrounded by moats and massive stone walls overshadowed the lower parts of the palace.

From the large plaza in front of the Imperial Palace, I exited the carriage and stood in the middle of the two bridges that formed the entrance to the inner palace grounds. The stone bridge in front was called Meganebashi (Eyeglass Bridge) for its looks. The bridge in the back entrance was a wooden bridge with two levels, from which the name Nijubashi (Double Bridge) is derived.

As I entered the palace, my first impression was that it had been abandoned. Void of all existence, my trained mind thought of perhaps an ambush. I gave Lana instructions to stay out here with my belongings and wait for me. If my father still stuck to his old routine and judging by the location of the sun, he would have been practicing kendo by the gardens. Quickly and stealthily, I crept to the gardens. The white sakura blossoms blanketed the garden, blending in with the snow. It was a sight for sour eyes. I spotted my father sitting on a bench near the pond. Relief washed over me as I realized that he was unharmed.

He smiled to me as I came to view and walked towards me, placing a hand on my shoulder and looking at me from head to toe. I flinched at the contact.

"Daughter, irasshaimase (welcome). You have grown to a beautiful young lady. I am glad to have you once again here." His eyes showed nothing but happiness which tugged at something inside and before I knew it I smiled at him forgetting his betrayal.

"I have missed you, too, my lord. It is great to once again be home. I hope that my arrival will bring great things to our land." I did still care for him. I could not help that. Still, my heart rebelled, but I kept my feeling a bay. Now was not the time.

Removing his hand, he held out to me something wrapped up in black silk and tied up with a silver ribbon. It was long and thin.

"It was your mother's. She would have wanted you to have it."

"Arigatou." I reached out my hands to receive the present. I held back the strange emotion enveloping me, for I could almost guess what it contained. I knew my father hated tears and I would not shame him. I untied it to reveal a beautiful separated two-piece naginata.

"Murakumo no Tsurugi (Sword of Billowing Clouds)," the words had escaped my lips in an awed whisper.

I remembered the story behind the famous katana that belonged to the greatest miko of Nihon. It was said to be a present to a noble family that had found favor in the eyes of Susano-O, the Thunder God. My mother, of course, was a descendant of such lineage and it had been she that told me once that the sword's power could only be awakened by a Chosen Butterfly of the clan.

As I held it in my hands, I saw it pulse and send a wave of acknowledgment through my body. It must have recognized me as its new wielder for I instantly felt a connection. Looking down at it, I took the time to fully appreciate it. It was mounted on a long tang – to better absorb the shock of a blow. The abnormally black blades had a strong distal taper for balance and quickness, something that I had learned during my training. The delicately engraved tsuba had a silver butterfly motif, similar to the birthmark my mother bared. Each of the two-piece staff was very strong, with a traditional tear-drop cross-section and a black non-slip finish. The swords were supplied with a wooden black saya (sheathe) and protective cloth bag. As soon as my fingers came in contact with the hilt of both swords, the blades glowed red as they connected to become one.

"Amazing," was all I could muster. I looked at him and bowed my thanks.

I was left alone for he told me he would see that dinner was being prepared and that he would make sure to send messengers to all villages informing them of my return. Of course I knew that his message would include my 'newly acquired skills and of my eagerness to fill my mother's shoes as the new priestess'. I grabbed the naginata with both hands, as I had seen my mother done many times, and watched as both blades segregated and the blood color that blazed it blade, die out. Twisting the blades, one in each hand, I sheathed them and began to walk to the palace entrance when a sensation stopped me.


	5. Chapter 5

**_I'll be that light, unmeaning thing, that smiles with all, and weeps with none.  
-Lord Byron, "One Struggle More, and I Am Free"_**

**CHAPTER 4**

I closed my eyes, focusing my aura, as to sense my surrounding and find my attacker. I easily avoided the swing of the blade that came by jumping forward and landing perfectly in a tree branch without the slightest of sounds. I watched as my attacker frantically searched for me. I waited for him to walk directly under me. I dived, hands first in order to land on his shoulders, flipped to the front, and pulled him over me. I sat on his back; one hand pulling his head back by the hair and the other hand was holding one of the blades to his throat.

"I should slice your throat for being stupid enough to enter my home." My resentment was evident in each word.

"Your home? I know _all_ the residents of the imperial palace and I have NEVER seen you! You are probably a thief. Whoever you are, the rest of the imperial guards are on their way. Even if you manage to kill me, you will not escape."

"If they are as _smart_ as you, I highly doubt they'll even catch my breath!" I hissed. "However, they will get a glimpse of your headless corpse. Now, tell me half wit, before you die, what is your name, so I may tell my father the ineptness of his guards."

He seemed to ponder on my reply before he gasped and answered, "Kagome-chan?!"

With swiftness, I turned him over and removed his helmet. "How dare you speak to me like I am your equal?"

"It's me, Hiroyaki. I... I...I-I, oww, I thought you were an intruder, a thief! Sumimasen!"

I moved back without removing the blade from his neck and squinted my eyes, inspecting his face. The name sounded familiar, but his face did not register in my mind.

My eyes widen a fraction as my memory of him returned. He had changed much. He still withheld some boyish features but I noticed he was now a young adult of sixteen. I removed myself from him.

I stood up and held out my hand to him. Reaching out with his hand to mine and I pulled him up. He rubbed his neck and looked down in embarrassment. I sized him from head to toe and had to blink twice when I realized that he was at least two heads bigger than me. As a young adult, Hiroyaki had long brown hair. His eyes were a chocolate brown and his face was captivating. The planes of his face were perfect and chiseled. Masculine. But for all his attractiveness and charm, he was only an acquaintance to me. One who had often acted like an overprotective big brother.

In my most serious voice I said, "As you can see I am no thief. But had I been one, you would be dead. My absence has made you soft. I believe training is in order?!" I waited for his reaction.

His head snapped up and I had to smirk at the look of a child who was caught stealing treats before dinner. "It is alright. Come and walk with me inside." Hiro nodded and smiled back.

"It is a gift to us that you have returned home. The villagers will be happy to know that their princess is back." He said.

"Where is Kirara? I do not sense her aura anywhere near." I changed the subject suddenly.

"Since you left for the monastery, she has taken long absences from the palace and city. She only comes back every once in a while and leaves immediately. No need to tell you why," he finished taking a side glance for my reaction.

I sighed heavily. It was no secret that my father could not stand Kirara or any other demon. The only reason he had allowed her to stay before, was that my mother had loved her. Even the feared okami (emperor) of Nippon could not deny his wife such a request. It was probably seconds after I left, when he must have sent my companion away.

I felt Hiro's hand falling on my person, but I quickly pushed it off as gently as possible. "Gomen, Kagome-chan," he murmured. He smiled and said, "Do not worry for her. She can fend for herself. Her last visit was a month ago. She is due any day now."

His words did make me feel a bit better. I nodded and wondered where she might be going to.

Thoughts of her health entered my mind. I shooed them away. I trusted implicitly in her and I realized that I had a good idea where she might have been heading off to all this time. _That_ thought brought more peace to my mind.

"May I ask a question?"

"I suppose," I replied not really interested in answering.

"All black?"

I looked down at my black chihaya (USUALLY a dark red hakama, pleated pants (like kendoists wear), a white kimono shirt with very long and wide sleeves, and tabi socks). It was abnormal to see a samurai, much less a miko using all-black robes. I simply glanced sideways at him. "I think it suits me perfectly."

He must have understood the hidden meaning in my words for he only nodded.

On our way inside he informed me on the changes my father had made to his ruling. I was surprised to know that he had raised taxes and had even forbid any commoner to come within a quarter of a mile of the palace. Any complaints would have to go to the village head priest, whom in return, would come and talk to my father.

Hiro also talked about the death of his father last year and how my father had offered one of the palace's tenshukaku to him. The late general Kobayashi, Hiro's father, had died during a small struggle with a small furusato south of the city. After that, Hiro was taken under my father's tutelage and named captain just a month and a half ago.

He continued talking about certain little things he'd done. We sat at the table waiting for dinner. I looked around while he chatted and I remembered the many dinners we had had here as a family. Dinners, that sadly, would never be the same. _I_ was not the same.

It was silly to recognize that I had not missed this place. In fact, my heart seemed to have been left behind in an old monastery hidden in the mountains of the west.

_**FLASHBACK**_

My third year of training, Tanaka-sensei and I were walking up the path of the mountains. He had told me the night before that we would leave the monastery before dawn to practice my kyudo up on the more wooded area of the mountain. I had been scared to make that particular trip. The entire left side of my face hurt every time I tried to blink. A scar had fused the lid to my cheek, making the muscles in my face ache. My right eye, while somewhat operable, had a strange haze over it. I'd been beaten two days before by a trainee in the training grounds that the inner lining in my right eye had been severely damaged. I wasn't capable of seeing much more than shadows and blurs. I didn't tell about the incident because it wouldn't help anyways. My right leg was stiff, barely able to bend from all the times it had been broken and not set. My right arm was much the same way. At least, I had my left appendages.

We had traveled almost for five hours when I stopped abruptly. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Something was coming and judging by the power it radiated, it was definitely not human. It must have felt the calling of the jewel as so many other demons had.

"Go and hide behind those boulders over there! Do not come out until I say it is safe." He readied his yumi (bow) and ya (arrows).

I dropped the bag of food supplies I had been carrying and yelled at him. "I am not hiding. Let me test my strength with these youkai (demons)!"

"Iiee. You will do as I say. You are _just_ a student here and I say you are not ready. _I_ am the one who gives the orders. Besides, I will not just hand them that jewel so easily," he said while pointing at the purple sphere around my neck.

He had barely finished saying the last word, when all demons attacked at once. He picked me up and pushed me over the boulder he had indicated earlier, placing a small barrier around me. Thank Kami (god) for heavy vegetation! When I recovered from what he had done, I peeked out from behind. I "saw" as his aura deflected them, but the demons kept coming. It was as if killing them only made things worst. It seemed hours, while he fought with them.

_Mother, is this how your final moments were spent?_

Little by little, Tanaka-sensei began to weaken, the aura surrounding him diminished. There were just too many. I felt weak and cowardly hiding there while he risked his life for mine. So, I jumped out from behind and stood there with my eyes closed. I saw him turn to me, yelling at me to hide, but I did not heed his words. '_I need to save him' _was all I could think of. I crossed my arms in my chest to form an 'x'. I began concentrating, as he had taught me, drawing out my power. I felt something forming at the center of my stomach and it started to grow rapidly. And when I couldn't hold it in anymore, I opened my arms and yelled as loud as I could, letting out whatever it was that was begging to be released.

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_


	6. Chapter 6

**_Conqueror and captive of the earth art thou! She trembles at thee still, and thy wild name.  
-Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto III_**

**CHAPTER 5**

_**FLASHBACK**_

_The monk watched as she came out of hiding and stand still there looking at him before closing her eyes. The little miko crossed her arms as if hugging herself. The wind stilled, but the sky darkened, as he saw her aura radiating from around her. It surprised him to see such display of power and control in this child. The sky began to thunder, foreshadowing what was to come. As if on cue, she opened her arms and what she was holding back was released. A bright blue light branched out from her small form, purifying everything that it encountered. Even the monk had to put up a barrier as to not be killed by it. When, it passed him, he opened his eyes and wiped drops of sweat he did not know he had. The child, once seeing he was fine, gave a small smile and passed out._

I awoke later that evening on my futon. Tanaka-sensei was kneeling next to me. He told me what happened. As I listened to him, I could not believe what he told me. By his tone, I could tell that he was also mildly impressed. That gave me a little confidence.

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

* * *

Well, at least, I wouldn't have to worry about this jewel for long. That evening, father had told me during dinner that in six years he would be revealing the 'official' protector. It had been the best news in a long time. Six more years, and I would be rid of this. I knew it was wrong to think like this. Especially since the jewel held within it my own mother's soul. _**I**_ should be the one protecting it. Nevertheless, something deep inside my own soul, told me that it would only bring me suffering and misfortune. I hated to think that my mother's fate would follow me too. No, I would not make the same mistakes. _I would die first!_

I stepped out of my bath, tossing over my body a silk pearl yukata that had been left for me. I didn't even bother drying my body or my hair. As I made my way to my bed and passing next to a huge mirror, I took notice of something before completely tying my yukata. I walked closer to the mirror. I squinted my eyes to see if what I had seen was true. I opened my yukata a bit.

"How did THAT happen?"

I couldn't believe it. I rubbed my finger on it in order to see if it was probably something else that caused it to look so...so DARK! I ran my finger again through my birthmark. It was a one-inch pink butterfly-shaped mark on my lower left inner hip area, more or less. However, it was now almost a dark maroon color. I had seen the same dark color on my mother's shoulder. When my mother first mentioned it to me, she had said that it would probably never darken and stay the same pink color. Yet, it was now different. I was, after all, still growing. Better not worry about it. I shrugged and closed my yukata. For now, I needed sleep. The eighteen-day trip back home had taken its toll on me and I was in much need of rest. Ignoring the comfortably prepared futon, I grabbed a small blanket and lay in the corner to sleep.

I awoke to a familiar caress to my aura. It was one that I had missed more than anything since my departure from home six years ago. My eyes opened slowly, confused for only a second before I took notice that this was not the floor of the small heya (room) that had been my home in the monastery. I sat up and looked towards the lonely window which showed that it was still some time before the sun rose. It was not unusual for it had become my routine.

Had I still been with Tanaka-sensei, I would already be half-way through my morning spiritual cleansing.

'_So you have come back.' _The phrase was telepathically sent to me. It was our means and connection to each other. Unnatural as it sounded, I cannot remember a time when she and I did not speak in this form.

A wonderful and loving feeling passed through me at the sound of her voice. I turned to the right corner of the room, where her yellow aura announced her presence. Red eyes looked back at me with something akin to surprise and rejoice.

'_Hai.'_ I responded in the same trembling voice she had used. We remained still for what seemed an eternity.

That is until...

'_I've missed you!'_ she cried, jumping towards me and licking my jaw. She was the only one whose touch I allowed.

'_Don't you ever leave again or I'll go and drag you back from wherever it is that you are!'_ She growled at me.

I smirked at her actions. '_Kirara, I promise that IF I was ever to leave again, not even the Kami could separate me from you!'_ I pressed my forehead to hers and sighed.

'_Your soul feels restless and aged.'_ She looked at me with a cocked head. I stared at her for a moment, taking in her falsely innocent appearance. It was her way of deceiving the enemy. She was much more that any one could imagine. I closed my eyes and lay back down.

'_There is much to tell.'_ Kirara lay atop of me and made herself comfortable.

'_I have time. I, too, have things which you MUST know. But you go first. I need to catch my breath. The excitement of your arrival forced me to travel twice as fast to get here today.'_

A corner of my lips turned up, rubbing one of her ears. '_Very well.'_ I told her everything while I petted her and ran my fingers through her mane.

Yes. It was good to be back. If anything, for her.

The change would be hard to accommodate. Six years of just me and the four shabby walls of a back room. Up until now, I'd had no contact with the outside world. Nothing but the quiet solitude of rereading the same rolls of scrolls over and over again until I had them memorized ― and the daily beatings. And even then, I never spoke to any one. Unfortunately they had been more interested in relieving their anger and so my association with them had always been brief. A few minutes of sound-lashing to alleviate the monotony and then I was alone again.

Life was better alone.

**

* * *

**

1199 A.D.

I was the youngest priestess to ever be seen in battle, not to mention the youngest samurai. At the age of twelve, I had slayed more demons and intruders than any other woman or man, leaving not even remains of the youkai or scars of the battle in my body. This earned me the infamous name of '_the perfect killer', _much to my petitions not to_._ My aid was required at almost every known village on the land. I had by now even traveled to the mainland on the Emperor's request to help him on ridding his domain of some youkai. My father was more than happy to 'lend a helping hand' – for a price. I had fought with him about being paid for something that came naturally to me, but he argued endlessly and I always ended giving in because of his delicate health. Still, whenever possible, I gave the money back without his notice.

There was no one to share my concerns. My confidant was Kirara, even when most of the time she spent lecturing me and complaining on how I worked myself to death.

I had no place in my life for a man, no place for a friend or companion other than Kirara. I'd learned from my birth that I had but one destiny. Isolation. Even when I tried to belong, it didn't work. I was an outsider. That was all I knew. Slowly, I was becoming a living statue – a shell of a person, without hopes and dreams.

Unfortunately, an incident ― a freak of nature ― separated me from normal people even more. Even after many years, only bits and pieces burst before my eyes now and then. _Flashes of something invincible, but not a face. It had dark, glowing eyes..._

A letter had arrived on the eve of my thirteenth birthday requesting my return to the southern most isle of Nihon that had been my home since my return. The hurried parchment only indicated that I part towards the small village as soon as possible. My father had at first refused but after his counsel advised him of a possible upraise at his denial, he let me go.

When Kirara and I arrived, I was amazed and puzzled to find that the village was untouched. After inquiring with the headman, he denied ever sending aid to me or anyone. Even after I showed him the request he stuck to his answer. There was no lie in his aura. He did, however, offer a room on his small home for me to stay the night. I refused, but Kirara needed to rest and something in the air around this village unsettled me. I had a small supper offered by the headman and then I retreated to the edge of the village to sleep in the open, scarce forest that resided in that part as had been custom the last three years.

With Kirara's small body at my side, I closed my eyes to rest my body. I needed to rest too, but quite couldn't manage it. I was too wound up to sleep. All my senses were going crazy. Something was at odds.

It seemed that only minutes passed by when probably hours did. My eyes snapped open as I ran towards the scream that had pierced that quiet of the predawn. I froze at the scene before me when I reached the center of the village. Beside the woman that lay dead, a dark menacing shadow hovered. A flash of lightning went through my head. _Was it myself I saw? _

That was the last coherent memory of that fateful day...

I don't know how much time passed when I blinked and the entire scene had changed. Horrified, I looked around at the dead bodies. Memories surged through me afterwards. I saw myself on a rampage. Saw faces and flames. Felt the rage of my anger sizzling through me. I had killed the very people I was supposed to protect.

_Had killed..._

Evil laughter echoed in my head. Another flash of lightning filled the area.

And _her_...

I struggled to remember. Why couldn't I remember what had happened? Feeling desperate and guilty I turned around looking for Kirara. It took more time than I had hoped and with each passing second, my chest constricted at the sights I encountered. True panic and fear engulfed me at the thought of Kirara hurt by my own hands. Over and over I asked myself the same question. _Could I really have been capable of something like this?_

Some time later, I found her hovering over the slaughtered remains of some children. The sight made my stomach contents spill. I knelt and crawled my way to her, hoping against hope that I hadn't done to her what I'd done to them. When I felt her fur, I released a shaky breath, at the weakened heart beat.

For hours after I healed and bandaged her, I was about to begin the task of setting the entire village on fire. I was stopped by a noise on a house where I had "awakened". I went inside it and found a small boy huddled at the corner. I walked towards him, but the instant his eyes landed on my face, he trembled so hard and screamed.

"Please don't kill me! Please! Please! I beg you! I promise I won't tell anyone what you did!" I saw him urinate on himself. I hated myself even more.

I was about to tell him that I couldn't have done this when voices outside were heard. The boy ran past me. I followed him shortly. The moment I stepped outside the hut, several men saw me and gasped. They wore samurai armors with the chrysanthemum emblem on their banners ― Imperial guards. They took a step back as they took in my appearance and realized what the child had already told them. The child was still crying and trembling behind them and pointing at me.

The samurai looked around them. There were bodies, burned and unburned, scattered everywhere. _Human bodies._ Male and female. Every age. Most of them had torn throats as if a youkai or some similar creature had fed off them. The oldest and probably the captain, walked towards me. He used a small white cloth to wipe at my mouth. He then proceeded to give it to me. I looked down at the small rag and it was then that I saw what he had cleaned off. _Blood._

And for the first time since I "awoke", I tasted the metallic flavor in my mouth. I felt numb. Then I bellowed with rage. I threw the rag. I paced a wide circle, raking my hands angrily through my hair. Panting, I looked every bit as insane as every one of them probably thought I was.

"What happened miko-sama?" the captain asked slowly, sweeping his arm out to indicate the bodies around us.

"I killed them."

There were gasps and for a long time they didn't answer. I thought they had left. I didn't care. But then, "Let's go miko-sama." I raised my head at him. "You're father sent us after you. We came to escort you back home." I was too stunned at his cool and trusting stare. How could he not fear me?

He ordered one of the guards to fetch Kirara. The young child refused to travel with me and so was sent ahead with two other samurai but not before the captain ordered him no to utter a word about what had happened here or _else_. I was still too shocked to say anything. After the village was burned to leave no trace of it, we returned to Kamakura.

People often say that the truth can never remain hidden. Word got out...fast. By the end of the year, the entire land of Nihon knew what had happened. Village rumor said that my lonely travels had been caused by my destroying a village I'd been responsible for. No one knew why. Only that one night I'd gone mad and murdered everyone there, then razed their homes to the ground. Many feared me and went out of their way to avoid me. I never did know who it was that had told about what occurred. Perhaps it had been the small boy or one of the horrified samurai that had been sent to fetch me. I stopped caring after some time. I kept doing what I was brought out to do. And like all things, it became a myth, nothing but a bedtime story, thanks mostly to my continued work as a miko. But the true had to be because, I think, that the Shikon remained pure.

Yet, to me, it had been real. It was something that would haunt me forever. Proof of the animal I really was.

**

* * *

**

1203 A.D.

By now, my reputation exceeded me. There was barely a day of rest for me. When I was not fulfilling my duties at the Jingikan (office of Shinto affairs) as _saishu _(ancient office traditionally held by imperial princess), I was taking on my duties as princess. I accompanied my father in his visits to all the villages where we visited with the daimyo. Political functions were one of the events I hated most. I felt like at outcast. Most young women, mainly daughters of well endowed family and affiliates to the royal lineage, pranced around in their expensive and beautiful kimonos trying to catch the eyes of the young samurai. I preferred to remain in the shadows.

I didn't like to talk to people. I didn't like the rich. I didn't like youkai. Most of all, I hated to be touched or ordered about. I can honestly say that I did not envy them. A world of false smiles and backstabbing was not something I wished to be part of. To me, the world held no color ― it was either black or white. Turning sixteen years old was no more special than the leaves falling outside.

On a windy August day, as I practiced on my personal dojo on the outskirts of my village, Lana came to bring me a small scroll. When I finished my drills, (I hated to be interrupted during my

sessions), I put away my weapons and walked over to where she stood by the door. Even Kirara played outside until I came out.

"Who brought this? And why did you bring this to me first when you know well that all scrolls go first through my father?!" I ignored her while she held out to me the scroll.

"Don't you talk to me like that! I may serve you, but you have no right to talk to me like I am a slave." I spared her a glance but I did not show any change in my tone as I went back to picking out another weapon to continue.

"I will not apologize for something that you should know by now." I retorted more softly

"I know, _but_, given the circumstances and the message, I thought you should be the first to open this one." She had been playing with her feet like a little girl, but the look on her face made me ignore her earlier fault.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I was buying some cloth, to make a new chihaya for you. When I had bought enough, I made my way back to the castle through the forest, since it's faster and less steep. Then, without warning, a young man, or so I thought, called out to me asking if I were the personal hand maid to the priestess Kagome. I thought it was probably a messenger from a nearby village wanting your help, so I said yes. He then stepped out of the shadows and when he did I finally saw who or rather what he was. HE WAS A YOUKAI! It had long black hair that was braided at its base, clear blue eyes and pale skin. He was really tall. I turned to run, but he grabbed my arms and held me in place. He told me that he was not here to harm me, but rather wanted only to deliver a message from his master and lord. He said that it was of the utmost importance that I give this to you and ONLY you. He said that he would wait tonight for your answer at the edge of the forest where the river becomes wider. And with that he was gone." She took in a deep breath.

I was outraged at the thought of a demon coming into my territories and having the audacity of thinking I would help him – a YOUKAI none the less. What was the world coming to! What was more, I had not been able to detect his presence.

I snatched the scroll from her hands, as she said, "Are you going to help them?" Her confusion laced in every word.

"Don't worry, I'll give him my answer as it requested. Thank you, you may leave." Before she could make it out the door I called out to her. "Oh, and Lana? Not a word to anyone, especially my otou-san." She gave a small nod.

Once she was gone, I grabbed my bow and arrow and headed outside, searching for any nearby youkai. I needed something to take out my anger on. Hunting always helped.


	7. Chapter 7

_**There be none of beauty's daughters**_

_**With a magic like thee;**_

_**And like music on the waters**_

_**Is thy sweet voice to me.**_

_**-Lord Byron, Stanzas for Music**_

**CHAPTER 6**

I headed for my haven on the farthest end of the castle grounds. After I returned from the western monastery, I was too used to being on my own that I loathed the idea of being around so many people. Compromising with the okami, I built a small hut inside the palace lands that went underground, hidden by shrubs and trees. The ceiling was low, so low that if I stood up straight the top of my head would brush it. But the low ceiling was necessary. Heat in the heart of winter was a valuable commodity and the last thing anyone wanted was the bulk of it gathered under a ten-foot ceiling. A lower ceiling meant a warmer place.

There was only one candle holder carved into the wall. I knew every inch of the place intimately. Every carved scroll hole that lined the wall. I'd never had much in the way of furniture. Two small square holes that served as shelves; one for my handful of chihaya and one for my food. As a former apprentice, I wasn't used to much.

I had been lying on my bed ever since I returned from my earlier hunt. It was nearing midnight and I was growing impatient when the servants did not retire to their own quarters. I did not want to be seen leaving my room and have my father question me.

It was then that I remembered the secret exit in the garden that my father once told me about. He had shown it to me in case we were ever attacked and he could not get to me or my brother. I quickly grabbed my bow, put on my black cloak and headed for the hidden exit, not even bothering to get out of my sleeping yukata. Kirara followed me.

I did not cross any servants outside, much to my relief. As I stood before it ready to go through it, I felt a presence hidden behind me. I knew who it was. How she knew what I would do was beyond me. Then again, she was somehow able to see behind my daily façade.

"You should be sleeping by now, don't you think?" I did not even bother to turn around when I told her this.

"Hime, what do you think you're doing sneaking off in the middle of the night like some thief? You're not thinking of going and helping them are you?" It was the fear in her voice that made me turn and face her.

"Lana, this is of no concern to you. Besides, what makes you think that I would aid those animals I seek to rid of this world? No offense Kirara."

The small neko rubbed at my leg. '_None taken.'_

"My child, this could be a trap! I do not wish to lose you at such a young age! At least let me get Hiroyaki so he may accompany you."

"NO!"

My reaction caught her off guard and she jumped back. I let out a sigh and walked to her. I had to admit she was the only one who made me feel like I was still a child – and it irked me. I patted her shoulder and then looked into her eyes. "I promise I'll be careful. It is not war they want. If they kill me, Nippon goes to war. I really don't think they are that stupid...although I do wish they were. Now go to my room and stay there. We'll talk when I get back."

In the dark of the night, it was easy for me to cross without being discovered. Not that it was a difficult task when I could hear the snores of the samurai, who were _supposed _to be keeping guard. One of these days I would give them a scare that would keep them awake for days!

'_Stay behind me and do not interfere.'_ I told Kirara.

'_Since when do I take orders from anyone?' _she replied in an offended tone.

I rolled my eyes. '_I simply do not wish to sully my hands. I am in no mood for a fight Kirara. Besides, you and I both know that he is no threat. Either of us could easily take him down. Now, will you PLEASE remain in the shadows?'_

She perked up a little more. I could almost see her cocky grin. '_Well, since you DID ask nicely this time.'_

As I came to the small river that ran through the forest, I let out a small amount of reiki (aura) to warn the messenger. I didn't have to wait long. Within seconds, he jumped down from a tree a few feet away. Lana had been right in describing him and had certainly left out the finer details such as the small golden sun that adorned his right shoulder. The one before me was nothing short of incredibly handsome. I glanced from his braided jet black hair to the expensive blue and white cloth that made his clothing and to his boot enclosed feet. _Definitely a royal. _But looks went a long way from the truth. The inu-youkai kneeled on one knee and held his palms to the ground.

"My Lady Ka – " I threw the scroll at him and turned back the way I came.

"Hachisaru (leave)," I interjected coldly.

I heard him pick it up and start walking towards me. "Demo, hime, what shall I say to my lord?"

I kept walking trying to ignore his presence and suppressing the urge to kill him. When I felt his hand touch my cloak, it was as if something snapped in my head. Before he could register anything, I had him pinned to a tree with three ya. Two were positioned next to his neck, one at each side. The third was embedded between his legs close to his... well, you know where.

"Tell him that if he or any under his command ever set foot in _my_ lands, I will not hesitate in purifying them into oblivion. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" He nodded his head and gulped. "Now leave before I decide to make true on my threat." I narrowed my eyes and the arrows dissolved.

The inu-youkai raced into the forest without a sound. I frowned at nothing in particular. I closed my eyes and concentrated on finding any more intruders. I found none.

On my way back, I began to think on the scroll. I had never before heard of a youkai asking for help from a ningen (human), especially help from a miko (priestess). I bit my lower lip. What could possible drive a youkai to such extreme measures?

Ugh! Why should I care?! I shook my head and picked up my pace. Knowing Lana, she would probably start panicking by now if I took any longer.

"Come Kirara. It is getting late." She trailed behind me.

* * *

"_What did she say?"_

"_Who my lord?" the inu tried to sound as innocent as possible._

"_Ujio, you know, I have no patience. Did you or did you not take my message to the miko?" The Daiyoukai was glaring at him. His voice however, was calm and composed as always._

"_Ah, yes, the miko. Well, you see my lord... she... um... well... she... I mean, I tried..." Ujio kept his gaze towards the floor, until the growl from his surrogate father made him lift his eyes._

"_This is the last time Ujio. WHAT. DID. SHE. SAY?_

"_My lord, I believe her exact words were, 'Tell him that if he or any under his command ever set foot in my lands, I will not hesitate in purifying them into oblivion'" Ujio released a breath and continued to tell him all that happened._

_The Inu no Taishou (Great Dog General) ran a claw through his presently loose hair. The girl was proud and he all but knew that she would refuse. However, as he heard Ujio, he realized that he had underestimated her. Evidently, other measures would have to be taken with her. He needed a new strategy that would at least get her to read the scroll._

_Ujio bowed to his lord and exited the study, ever thankful that the baka (stupid) shoujo (young girl) had decided to let him go. He was no fool. There was something very ominous about that girl. Deadly. And it wasn't just the strength in her aura as his collided with hers. She oozed an unnatural darkness that seemed to warn everyone, even the humans, to stay away from her. It was extremely disconcerting. Even frightening. Being Midoriko's daughter, no less could be expected. Still, he had hoped that she would be a reasonable ningen (human) and at least listened to what he had to say. But, he also had to admit that his being a youkai would not exactly make him a trusting individual in her eyes. _

_The girl was powerful and he knew that the Inu no Taishou would not give up that easily. He made his way to the kitchen to pick up something to eat. Sitting down while the cook fixed him something, he remembered the encounter with her. What bothered him, though, was that she had let him go. From what little he had gathered on his wanderings, was that she was a merciless miko when it came to youkai – thus her living up to her title of 'the perfect killer'. Not to mention the little incident years ago when everyone realized she probably was insane. Why then, did she spare him?_

_Perhaps, if he were to find out more about her..._

_

* * *

_

The Inu no Taishou laughed at what Ujio told him as soon as the youkai left his study. But he now needed a new plan. The girl was coming even if he had to drag her himself. In fact, he knew he might just have to.

_For now, he needed to give her time to cool off. He picked up another piece of parchment and wrote a message to his two allies, the Daiyoukai of the Southern Lands and the Northern Lands. _

_

* * *

_

Days later...

_He took the unopened scroll in his hands as he made his way to the gardens. The Daiyoukai knew that Ujio would not be too happy about making another 'visit' to the fiery miko, but since she was already familiar with him, she might not kill him at first sight. Well, at least he hoped she wouldn't._

_Once he told Ujio what he had to do and seeing the look of disgust in his son, the Inu no Taishou sent his messenger off._

'_For your own good, I hope you accept this time,' he thought as he saw Ujio sped off._

* * *

Three weeks had passed since the incident by the river. Yet, it still plagued my mind. I hated to admit that I _was_ curious. Then again, who isn't curious when it comes to secrets? I kept alert, surveying my surroundings wherever I went. Something told me I had not heard the end of it.

I snapped out of my little world when the children from the village I was currently making my way through, beckoned me to stop and sing to them. That was something that I did when only children were around me or in the company of Kirara. Well, there was also Lana, but she didn't count because she knew about this little secret of mine without me having to tell her. Aside from them, there was another individual who knew, but he would never say a word about it.

Singing helped me relax. It was a way of dealing with my daily misery. Of the images and haunting cries of those humans. The ones who had trusted me. Trust was something I had not given to anyone. The first vow I had made to myself after I was ordained as a betsushikime (samurai priestess) was that I would never again worry about trying to earn other people's respect or kindness. Fear was a more powerful tool.

"Onegai, Kagome-sama? Will you not sing to us like you always do when you visit us?" The small five-year old pouted and hugged my leg as if it were her life line.

I managed a forced smile. I looked down at the child. How ironic that anyone could trust me with their children ― their innocence. It was the one thing missing in my life that had made me so cold.

I sat down and pulled her to my lap. Kirara instantly nestled on my right side. The little girl giggled and held her hands to her mouth while doing so. Seeing this, the other children instantly sat down in front of me.

"What would you like me to sing?" I watched their little faces as they frowned and look up as if trying to think of something.

"Sing to us Kirara's song!" Michi, the youngest of the boys, yelled from the back. No sooner had he said that, when all the other kids began to nod their heads and voicing their approvals.

"Alright" I smiled again to them (something I only did in their presence).

_

* * *

_

Ujio had arrived at the village of the miko with much caution. His demon nose alerted him of her faint scent. That told him that she was not in the village. If he went back without fulfilling his duty, the Inu no Taishou would not think twice before slicing his head. As quickly as he had arrived there, he began following the trail of her scent. Much to his dismay, he had to admit that she had a very pleasant scent – for a human. She was not very far away.

_He arrived in a nearby village and stopped some distance where he spotted the miko. She was surrounded by children. How different she looked around them. Several moons ago, he could have sworn he was dealing with Death. Today, though, she seemed almost angelic. Her brown hair was held back in a high elegant bun by a blue ribbon and her lavender eyes emitted a weariness that had escaped him the last time he'd been around her. She looked daunted and at the same time determined. There was an agelessness to her features. A wisdom that somehow seemed at odds with her sinister appearance. How could one person be so..._

_He was cut off from his thoughts when she began to sing. Ujio was hypnotized. He had never heard anyone have a voice like her. It was beyond indescribable. It was then that he noticed that that was not the only gift she seemed to possess. He knew she was powerful, though not this much. Her ability allowed her to summon the sound of musical instruments without having to have one. It was as if the heavens themselves played for her. The music was beautiful! Not loud, not slow... just perfect._

_The demon messenger continued watching AND listening. He needed to give her the scroll, but he'd have to wait until the children left. If he were to approach her now, she would probably take this as an attack. The human children would most likely run off scared and that would only heighten her anger._

* * *

As I finished the last note to the song, I got up with the girl and settled her in the ground. The rest of the children also stood and jumped up and down while clapping. They all came up to me and hugged me.

"Another, another!" They all chanted in unison.

"Gomen nasai, but it's getting late and I must be on my way. _But_ I promise to come back soon and sing for all of you as many songs as you wish."

"Really?" Michi came up to me with a grin from ear to ear.

"Hai! Now go back to the village and call the samurai you saw me with earlier. His name is Hiroyaki. Tell him that I am ready to leave." I patted their little heads and bowed to them. "And remember that this is still our little secret," referring to the singing. They bowed to me too and ran back to their homes, laughing all the way back.

'_Kirara. Go with them. Return with Hiro.' _I reached her with my mind.

Kirara was reluctant to leave for she knew about the unwanted visitor but left nonetheless. '_Fine. If he tries anything, I'll leave my paw prints on his ugly face._' I sighed at my incorrigible companion.

When I was completely sure they were safe in their homes. I conjured my spiritual bow (another teaching from Tanaka-sensei) and fired a spiritual arrow without warning to a bush a few feet away. The demon, which had been there since I had begun singing, leapt out.

"Omae (you (_disrespectful_))? Do you really wish to die?" Not only did he disobey my warning but he had crept up to me in my most vulnerable state. That second reason was more than enough for me to summon another arrow to purify his butt off.

He must have sensed what I intended to do for he quickly kneeled and put his hand up in defense, _or stupidity_. "Chotto (Wait)! My Lady, I beg of you! Just read the scroll and if you still wish to send me to the Netherworld, then by all means, do." His eyes said otherwise.

"Did I not make myself clear the last time you showed up?! What is it about inu-youkai that they do not understand that no means NO?" I was loosing my patience very quickly and so was my hold on the arrow.

"Onegai! At least read it. Either way, I die – if not by your hands, then by my father's."

I watched his face. I knew he did no lie. The curiosity was killing at me, I admit. Slowly and without taking the arrow from my bow, I motioned for him to give me the scroll. He crawled on all fours to me and stopped about a foot ― an unmistakable sign of submission.

"O namae? (What is your name?)"

"Ujio."

"Open the scroll and read it, Ujio." I ordered him.

"But – "

I drew back the string of my bow a bit more as I spoke through gritted teeth, "I SAID OPEN IT!" He fumbled a bit before he broke the seal and unrolled the piece of parchment.

"Now, read it." He nodded as he initiated.

"_To the Lady Kagome, Princess and Miko of Kamakura,_

_I, the Inu no Taishou, do hereby request your aid in defending my territories against the Hyena youkai of the Eastern Lands. I know that you, being a miko, would immediately object to this bid, but I assure that much more than my possessions are at stake here. I propose a truce for the time being. In return, I am willing to oblige to any of your requests and I also offer my protection for you and whomever you wish._

_I hope that you would at least consider this. War is inevitable and many of whom you cherish could suffer the consequences should you deny my request. Onegai, do not take this as a threat, but as a warning._

_I shall await your answer._

_The Inu no Taishou,_

_Lord Demon of the West_

The messenger looked up to me awaiting my answer, the stench of his uneasiness reached my nose. How that happened, I wasn't sure, since I was a human after all. I turned my back on him and my arrow dissipated.

"My Lady, what should I tell my Lord?" Most of his apprehension, which had been there partly because of the arrow pointed at his head, was gone. Concern replaced it.

"He already has my answer," I stated simply.

"But you said – "

"I listened, didn't I? I never said I would help."

"So you will not offer any kind of help?" Ujio was already up when I turned. Instinctively, he took a step back.

"Help you say?" I put a finger to my chin as if in thought. "Alright then."

Instantaneously, his face lit up and he bowed. I continued before he lifted himself from his bow. "I shall offer a prayer for your lord." With that said, I took the path that would lead me away from him, but that would still lead me to my village, leaving behind a very dumbfounded messenger.

I didn't want Hiroyaki finding me talking to a demon. He was very loyal to my father and would undoubtedly go and tell him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Oh, and here is a sneak peak at "his majesty", if you guys know what I mean ;)**

**See, if you guys can recognize him.**

**

* * *

_So little trouble had been given of late; Not that the place by any means was full.  
-Lord Byron, "The Vision of Judgment"_**

**CHAPTER 7**

_Ujio knew he should be thankful he hadn't gotten a rise off of her. Still, he was hoping that his submission, as his lord had ordered him to do, would soften her and change her mind._

"_Stubborn girl! You have no idea what you're doing. You're only sentencing your precious humans to a slow and painful death." His anger only made him go faster. At this speed, he would be there by the end of the day._

_Slamming his fist into the wall of his study, he growled at the reply he got from the miko. Ujio, seeing this, had run off when he saw the red tinge in his father's eyes._

"_Damn girl. Her pride will only make things worse. I don't know whether to admire her inability to sway or to laugh at her stupidity!" The Inu no Taishou never lost it. He was known for his coolness even when the pressure was at its highest. So much was his anger that he did not notice his heir standing at the door with an eyebrow raised._

"_Is this miko really THAT necessary for our victory chichi-ue (father)? Quite frankly, I see no use for her." The young inu youkai walked up to his father but kept his distance. He knew better than to stand in the way of the fury of the great Daiyoukai._

"_Hai, she is. You know as well as I do that Otoya has allied himself with kuro miko (dark priestess). I am strong, but, even I know that the priestesses are powerful enough to eradicate half our armies before I get to them. There's also the little fact that Otoya is thinking of going after that cursed jewel she guards." He unknowingly ran a clawed hand through his beautiful silver hair._

"_Perhaps another priestess?" his son offered._

"_No. I will not ally myself with just any miko. It has to be Midoriko's heir. She's the only one I want at my side. She is the only one powerful enough to withstand such a war."_

"_Chichi-ue, maybe if we threaten her village and –" _

_No sooner had the words escaped his lips, that his father had his claws around his neck, careful not to seep any poison out. He was his only heir after all._

_:NO: His use of the inu language and his growl forced the demon prince to submit, immediately exposing his neck as a show of submission. _

"_She will help us. Sooner or later, she will come to us out of her own free will. I will not sink as low as to threaten a mere ningen." His words were calm but held and icy tone to them._

_He let go of his son, who started rubbing his neck as soon as he was let go, and went back to what was left of his desk. _

**

* * *

**

1203 A.D.

_**NOVEMBER**_

_He had to think of another way to get her to come. Obviously, requesting and begging weren't an option. Nothing seemed to bend this girl. He sat down on his chair to ponder a bit more. However, his thoughts were interrupted by the noise of one of the guards who almost broke down the door to his study._

"_My lord, it has begun!"_

"_Damn it all!" He clenched his fists. He had not expected an attack this soon. He turned his gaze to the guard. "Doko (where)?"_

"_The mountains. They have burned down the youkai villages." _

"_Sai (my son), go and ready the rest of the warriors. Nao, tell Ujio that I need him to come." The silver-haired inu prince was gone in the blink of an eye. Nao, the guard, though, stood there as if waiting for something else. The Inu no Taishou was pacing back and forth when he noticed that he was still there._

"_What are you waiting for? I gave you your orders!" he barked at the youkai._

"_My lord, I don't know if this is relevant, but..." he averted his lord's eyes._

"_But WHAT?"_

"_The monastery...the one at the foot of the mountain? It's completely destroyed!"_

* * *

**Dun Dun Dun!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Once more, I'd like to thank my reviewers. I wasn't going to update for another two days because I was a little disappointed at the few reviews I've been getting but thanks to a very uplifting reviewer (Gentlefist), I decided to change my mind.**

**Gentlefist: I was so laughing and if I'd had you in front of me, I would have hugged you for all that you said! You totally said everything I was feeling! Thank you for your words of encouragement. You have no idea how much better I feel.**

**annonie mouse: I know its late, but thank you for your review. I didn't forget you!**

**And so...LET'S CONTINUE!!**

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* * *

_Though pleasures fires the maddening soul, the heart - the heart is lonely still!  
-Lord Byron, "One More Struggle, and I Am Free"_**

**CHAPTER 8**

_For the third time, Ujio was headed to the city of Kamakura. This time however, he knew what the answer would be. 'At least this time, she won't have a reason to kill me', he thought. He held in his hand a different scroll. The Inu no Taishou had given him orders not to give her the scroll, but to read it to her. He knew that if he gave her the scroll she would throw it back at him, ignore it completely or worst – purify him before he said a word. Hopefully he could read it to her before she did any of those things._

_Upon arriving, he followed her calming scent, to where he could find her. When he did, she was sitting by the same river he had first encountered her. He thought of a way to sneak up on her, but not look as if he would attack. _

_Too late!_

_He felt the arrow pierce his leg. It instantly began its effects. He had not seen her grab her bow. He had to admit that his alpha picked the best of the best, but did he also have to send HIM to his death!_

* * *

"Wow. You demons do not have any common sense. You must be really useless to your Daiyoukai for him to send you thrice to your death bed." I mocked him as I saw him wince in pain from the purification.

He looked at me with much anger. He began to lift his hand that held another scroll. I readied another arrow in case he tried something. Instead, he did something that took me off guard – he began reading it.

"_To the Lady Kagome, (This time he did not include my title. Probably something he wrote hastingly.)_

_I, for the third time, have asked for your aid in the war that has commenced. Yet you denied my request and for that you have inadvertently killed hundreds of villagers in my land, including many humans. _

_As I said before, this war also includes you. Don't make the same mistake and come before you lose much more."_

The inu youkai dropped the scroll. Apparently he was in much pain. His words had come out almost as a whisper. He did not look at me, but kept his eyes on his wounded leg. He tried to pull the arrow out, but hissed when he touched it – mainly because the arrow was made from my own powers rather than out of wood.

"Tell your Daiyoukai that I am willing to sacrifice a few lives." Again, I turned with every intention of leaving him to his slow death. '_I have sacrificed much more than this and survived.'_

I had not prepared for what came next.

"Tanaka-sensei is dead. That _is_ what you used to call him, right?" There was no anger or jest in his voice. It was said flatly.

I stopped. I could feel the blood fall all the way to my feet.

_WHAT HAD HE JUST SAID?!_

I turned to him. My anger had returned, but it was not directed at him. I walked up to him and kneeled. Grabbing the arrow, I dissolved it. He growled and glared at me, but did nothing else. I put my hand in his wound and concentrated on pulling out all the purification power that had slowly seeped into his body.

Never before had I healed a youkai, so I was careful not to inflict more damage. I looked at him and noticed he had been glaring at me.

"Daijoubou desu ka?"

"H-hai." He stood and moved his leg, testing it.

"Kirara." I motioned for my neko friend and mounted her. He turned surprised blue eyes to me. "Lead the way."

Recovering from his stupor, he sprinted west.

* * *

It took a day and three quarters to get to the Western Castle. The castle was not at all what I expected. Then again, this castle seemed to be much, much older than the castle at Kamakura. The most interesting part of the castle was the main donjon (keep). To enter one had to first pass through a separate minor keep i_nui kotenshu_ (because it stood _inui_ or northwest of the main tower) that from the outside appeared to have three stories but actually had four, the hidden floor concealing defenses. This minor keep was structurally independent of the main tower but was connected via a roofed passage. Looking closely at the round wooden pillars, these were rough hewn by a hand tool shaped like an axe (the entire castle being made by impressed labour) from hemlock, spruce, and fir trees. There were ten round pillars supporting the first and second floors, twelve pillars supported the upper floors. All in all, it was beautiful. The winter snow made it seem as if it were floating in the clouds.

Upon arriving at the front walls, I dismounted Kirara and she returned to her smaller form. Ujio continued up the slope to the gate until he noticed that I was not following and was instead going on a perpendicular direction to him.

"Hime, the entrance is this way."

"I must first give proper burial to my sensei. Inform the Daiyoukai that I shall be back by dawn." I ran to the mountains with Kirara following behind. I needed to burn off some anger.

The blackened remains and the smell of decay greeted me as I walked up the steps to where the monastery once stood. Mangled bodies and dry bones were scattered everywhere. I felt the pain deep within my soul. I walked around for several minutes looking for a clue that would lead me to the body of my sensei. It seemed that I wondered forever until I came across a most painful scene.

'_Kagome,' _called Kirara.

A few meters from the east walls of the monastery, a body was tied to a tree trunk. I cautiously walked up to it, afraid to confirm my suspicions. Unfortunately, the Dharmachakra (Wheel of Life) chain identified him. Before burying him, I took the chain and put it inside one of my sleeves.

Mustering all my courage, I began the task of burying the bodies with the help of Kirara. I said a prayer, checked that all was well, stood and bowed. I did not move from the spot. A powerful youki (demonic aura) emanated from all around me. From the waves it sent off, I could tell that the demon was not threatening me, but was rather alerting me to its presence.

Only a very powerful youkai, or rather Daiyoukai, could do this, I concluded.

"Did I not make it clear to your servant that I was to arrive at your home before dawn? Or is your entire race so thick-headed that words bounce of your skull?" I tried to keep my tone down but I hated to be spied on.

"Keh. Proud." He allowed himself a small mocking laughter. "Have recent events not taught you that your pride will only get others killed?"

Disbelief racked me. No one in the past six years had dismissed me so easily and it angered me that he would dare discount me now. It reminded me of too many bad memories of the people at the monastery who saw through me. People who held no regard for me whatsoever. I kept my stare, matching his. Still I could not help taking in every one of his features. He had the most beautiful silver white hair that reached to his calves. On each cheek bone was a jagged dark blue line and on his forehead, a crescent moon in between his dark black brows showed his crest. He was very handsome. His clothes only heightened his masculinity and power. But what had me mesmerized were his unusually colored eyes – golden oceans. Seeing how I wouldn't speak, he once again broke the ice.

"I offered you a truce. My offer still stands, _if_ you decide to ally yourself with me and my clan. You will be protected by me. Anyone, whosoever tries to pluck a hair from your head wishing you harm, will suffer my wrath. That also includes anyone in my service." He did soften his tone. It almost seemed as though he was talking to a child.

I cocked my head to one side. To be quite honest, the Daiyoukai aroused my curiosity. I had heard stories about him from other older priestesses. He was rumored to be immortal and dangerous, but righteous. He never killed anyone without reason. From what I had heard so far, from the four reigning Lords, he was known to be the strongest. In my opinion, he was yet to be rated.

Narrowing my eyes, I thought of a question, but found myself instead asking something else. "Why me? I mean, I'm pretty sure you can call upon any kuro miko. For it _is_ safe to presume that your enemy has bargained with these, for if not I would not be here."

He dropped his head and shook it from side to side, letting out a sigh. He strode towards me. I was too lost in his last remark and did not notice him at my side. The inu-youkai reached out to grab my wrist, but rapidly removed his hand for it had been scalded by my miko powers. That tore me away from my daze.

"Gomen nasai." _Had I just apologized for defending myself?_

"Even unconsciously you guard yourself." _He had just complimented me!_

"What is it exactly that you want me to do? Well, besides the obvious obliteration of your enemy."

"I wish for your help." It was simply stated. "I want you to use your powers to guard us against the other priestesses. My army and I will take care of the demons."

"And what do _I_ gain out of this?"

"I give you my word that the human villages in my territories will be protected. No harm will come to any human even after the war is over."

"Your word means nothing to me. I need some other kind of assurance." He grinned at me.

"Give me your hand." It was quite literally a command.

"What?! I will do no such thing!" _Had the thinning air up here made the demon begin to lose it?_

Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he extended his left arm while rolling up his sleeve with the other. He used one of his claws to make a deep gash on his wrist. I hadn't noticed he had been looking at me during the whole thing.

"This is a sacred ancient ritual only performed among the four Daiyoukai. We slit our wrists right where the pulse is strongest. We collect the blood in a cup, filling it with our blood. After they are full, we exchange cups, so to speak, and drink the entire contents. It is what seals our deal. If any said demon breaks their promise he dies a slow and agonizing death." All this was said in the bluntest manner.

I gave him a doubtful look. _Well... it would be nice to see him get killed. One less youkai to worry about, right?_

I granted my answer by extending my hand to him. His hand gently tugged me closer. I could have sworn he had done it almost very fatherly.

"This might hurt a bit so try to refrain from pulling your hand from me or using any of your powers." _Was he worried about me?_ "Also, seeing that we have no drinking utensils, we will have to drink the blood directly from the source."

At those last words, I shook a little. He saw this and again smiled. His face swiftly changed to a more serious one as he began to speak once more.

"I, the Inu no Taishou, Daiyoukai of the Western Lands, do hereby agree to protect Kagome, princess and miko of Kamakura, from any harm. I take an oath today to also protect all humans living within my territories as truce to said miko. If I were to fail on my word, either accidentally or purposefully, may I suffer the consequences, whatever they may be." With a nod, he signaled my turn.

Following his example, I voiced my pact. "I, Minamoto Kagome, Princess and Miko of Kamakura, do hereby agree to aid the Inu no Taishou, Daiyoukai of the Western Lands, by putting my spiritual powers at his command. I take an oath today also to protect his army from the kuro miko powers by providing them with barriers against any danger. Should I fail to keep my promise, I accept the consequences, whatever they may be."

He clutched my right wrist very carefully. He lowered his mouth to my wrist and kissed it. His eyes followed my reactions. Without further a due, he bit my wrist and began drinking the blood. I felt my strength leaving me. He drank ferociously. Too quickly, he stopped his drinking and licked my wound.

"My saliva will help it seal faster." His voice sounded a bit like a drunk. Before he offered his hand, he blinked several times. I thought perhaps he was trying to regain posture. He looked weaker than I did. And to think that _he_ wasn't the one who had lost half his blood!

Shakily, he raised his wrist, cut a small opening and offered it to me. I took his wrist with both hands and pulled it to my mouth.

_The moment of truth. _

'_For Kami's sake just do it!' came Kirara's voice in my head._

I closed my eyes and put my lips on his wound. Being how he was powerful and a youkai, the wound had already begun to close, leaving only a drop-size opening. Some thing inside me took over instinctively as soon as the scent of his blood reached my nose.

Opening my eyes, but without removing my mouth from his wrist, I glanced up at him. A moments warning... a flash of red and the smell of sandalwood... And then I blacked out!


	10. Chapter 10

**_He, who grown aged in this world of woe, in deeds, not years, piercing the depths of life, so that no wonder waits him...  
-Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto III._**

**CHAPTER 9**

_He watched as she timidly raised his hand to her mouth. 'She doubted. Could it be fear?'_

_The blood he had imbibed was rushing through his body. In his entire centuries of living had he ever felt such power course through him. Images of places and people flashed through his mind as his body continued to feed off the power he had just taken in. It was both exhilarating and fearful. _

_He had felt, rather than noticed that his cut was already mostly closed. However, he wanted to see what she would do. She looked up to him, her eyes betraying more than what he knew she wanted._

_Then something happened that took him a back._

_Her entire body pulsated and her irises changed from their normal lavender to a silver-blue. Her round pupils became slits and her aura changed. Not exactly that of a miko any longer. It was dangerously stronger! The tiny hairs at the back of his neck stood. _

_He was afraid!_

_But how?!_

_She pushed his wrist just enough for him to see... she grew fangs! Not giving him any time to react, she bit him. It was small but hard. Her eyes closed as she began sucking out his blood. _

_The taste of blood seemed to awaken something within her. Increasing her hold on him, she drank harder! He could feel the clawed hands tighten their hold on him. If he didn't do something Kagome was going to drink him dry!_

_Yanking as hard as possible, (and it took all his strength!) he pulled free. Probably not the best move._

'_Did he just hear her growl?'_

_Her breathing was labored. As she stood there glaring at him, he could almost swear he was standing in front a youkai. He could not place her aura. It still held a hint of her priestess power but something else was intertwined with it. His eyes darted between her and the neko youkai that stood ready behind her companion._

"_Miko?"_

_Slowly, the silver in her eyes died. She was returning._

_Kagome narrowed her eyes, as if trying to recognize him._

"_Youk – " That was all she managed to let out before falling to the ground._

_He used his demon speed to reach her in time. However, the neko youkai that had simply been an onlooker transformed and stood atop her protectively. It growled at him. The Inu no Taishou made no more movements and instead opted to listen for her breathing. _

_It had returned to normal. She had simply fainted. It must be the effects of his blood on her human body. However, now he wasn't sure whether she WAS human! 'And why had he been scared of her?'_

_Now was not the time. He needed to get to his castle. Sunrise was coming and if he ran as fast as his demonic speed took him, he might just make it in time. Hopefully, the miko would wake fully recovered before they arrived._

"_Neko, pick up your mistress and follow me." It did as commanded and picked her up._

* * *

The constant beating of my hair on my face woke me up. My head felt like it was going to explode. Thankfully, just as fast as the pain came, it left. I opened my eyes and searched my surroundings. Kirara was by a stream drinking water.

"Ugh. What happened?" My voice came out sort of groggy.

A deep non threatening voice answered my question. "I see you're finally awake. Frankly I was beginning to think that I might have to strap you to a tree to keep you up during battle."

I lifted myself as the recent events at the ruins of the monastery flashed before my eyes. I turned to him.

"You fainted. It must have been a little too much for your human body to absorb. The ritual, as I told you, was meant for demons. The shared blood carries with it not only the other's strength but their knowledge. Both bloods combine in your body becoming one. The good thing for you is that you now hold my temporary mark. You can say that, in a way, you belong to me. No demon in their right mind will dare touch you without thinking of what I might do."

My mind was still trying to process all that he just told me. It was a fact that I felt a bit stronger and images that I did not know were coming up in my mind. Images of forests, a tree, a rusty sword... and red. _Perhaps they were his_.

"Come. We must hurry. We are not far, but my army is waiting."

He held his hand out to me. I assumed he wanted to hurry so I stood, trying my best not to look disoriented I made my way to him. But I stopped right about two feet from him.

He frowned. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you don't trust me yet?"

_Like hell I did!_

"I smell blood... a lot of blood ...demon and human!"

The Daiyoukai tensed and lifted his chin smelling the air around him. His eyes turned red. His head whipped in the direction of the battle. He lowered himself a bit.

"Get on NOW!" I didn't. I mounted a transformed Kirara and sped away.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Can tyrants but by tyrants conquered be, and Freedom find no champion?  
-Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto IV_**

**CHAPTER 10**

'_Why the hell did I not notice the stench of blood so heavily in the air? Maybe it was the latest loss of blood my body has just suffered?' The demon increased his pace._

_The scene passed by in blurs. Next thing she knew the neko landed and she jumped down onto the ground. The cries of youkai, clashing weapons and the loud noise of feet stomping on the earth greeted them. The war had begun. Whatever had commenced it did not matter anymore. Their goal now was to do everything in their power to defend the villages, human and youkai._

"_Miko, will you be alright by yourself?" He had not looked at her but she knew that he was fighting his youkai. His eyes were red and his hair had become loose. All she could sense was him. He surrounded her with power and danger. _

"_Worry about yourself Daiyoukai."_

"_I should warn you that the southern and the northern Daiyoukai, and their armies are also our allies. Just make sure you don't kill any of our warriors."_

"_How the hell am –" _

"_You know what to do then." He stormed off in a white blur before she could finish. The only evidence of his fighting – the countless youkai body parts being thrown off in the air._

_Kagome prepared her bow with an arrow. This was going to be a long first day. She kneeled, asked for the Kami's blessing, and began the chant that would protect her new 'tomodachi' (friends)._

_She didn't have to come out of the shadows. The youkai were frantically sniffing the air and widening there eyes. No doubt, they had sensed the change in the air._

_She smirked inwardly. Perhaps this battle was not such a bad thing after all. _

* * *

The arrows flew out of my hands two at a time. Sometimes they would hold enough purification energy to go through thirty youkai at a time. The rush of adrenaline in my blood was amazing! Surely such joy in the kill, even the kill of youkai, could not be so sweet and delectable. It must be due to the blood of the Daiyoukai in me. Kirara was at a distance from me, also aiding in the battle. I kept stealing glances towards her direction.

As my ya (arrow) began to decline I realized that more and more youkai charged at me. Stepping back a few steps, I was doubled over by a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. The pain caused my aim to miss and the last of my ya flew across into the more dense part of the field. My neko friend came to my side immediately defending me in my weakened state.

I winced at the pain. My breathing was becoming ragged and I searched around the battle field for the source of my pain. For a fleeting moment, I panicked as the thought of a familiar pain that had come earlier than expected. To my surprise, I came across a very unusual sight. The youkai, from the western army I gathered, were surrounded by a blue light. I needed no more sign. These _glowing_ youkai were the ones I was to protect.

And from the looks of things, my power was being challenged by the kuro miko. I closed my eyes and called forth my power. I measured it and let it seep out of my body. The blue light left me in a rushed wave and bathed the entire armies. However, only the allied army was left with the light surrounding them.

_So this is how I was going to recognize them! Damn you Daiyoukai for not informing me as to 'how' I would know._

The effects of my power took in rapidly. The enemy tried hard to injure the western, northern and southern warriors, but to no avail. Sending Kirara off again, I ran again into the battle using Murakumo no Tsurugi. Taking a stance, I let youkai after youkai come charging at me.

A few hours into the ongoing conflict another pain brought me to my knees. This time, however, the pain was more intense. Killing the boar youkai that had jumped on top of me, I thrusted my blade through its middle and pushed it off of me.

Searching again for the source, my eyes caught the sight of the Inu no Taishou being thrown to the side by a giant paw. The Daiyoukai had preferred to stay in his humanoid form. The humongous hyena was drooling acidic saliva, some of which was falling on the inu-youkai's legs. I noticed that the Inu no Taishou did not move.

I raced to his side as fast as the pain allowed me. A large number of different youkai were already surrounding him and ready to pounce on him. I cut in half two of the youkai in the circle and stood over the unconscious inu-youkai.

"THAT. WAS. A. BIG. MISTAKE."

_

* * *

_

He could faintly hear the sounds in the area. But all sounds were more of a humming. He used his heightened sense of smell to help him discern his surroundings. Catching the smell of enemy youkai, he let his jyaki emanate his injured body. At the same moment, he caught the scent of gardenias and lilies.

"_THAT. WAS. A. BIG. MISTAKE." Her icy tone was every bit threatening._

_The Inu no Taishou forced himself up on his elbows and blinked in order to see what he knew was going to be almost worth all the pain he was feeling. The first sight he saw was Kagome whirling her naginata and taking her stance. An evil smirk crossed her face._

_Before he had time to blink again, she had moved. All he could see was the slaughter of the youkai and a black blur move around him. She slowed down once she saw that only two youkai were left standing. The miko kneeled on one knee and pushed herself off the ground towards the two remaining youkai. A diagonal move with her blade across their bodies and the sound of deathly cries was the last he saw of his attackers._

_Kagome landed gracefully and separated her sword. She bended over to pick up a pack of ya that was lying on the snow._

"_Arigatou, miko. Your presence here has proven a most valuable asset." He stood and extended his arm to her in appreciation._

_Without acknowledging him, the miko turned away from him. "Do not let it go to your head. If anyone is going to have the pleasure of killing you__**, **__the __**pleasure**__... will be mine."_

_The sound of his laughter overrode that of the battling youkai. She whipped around and witnessed the transformation of the inu youkai._

_Finally._

_The young demon prince was keeping his end of the fight by protecting this part of his inheritance. He had hoped to fight side by side with his sire, but was instead send with both his brothers and half the army to the other side in order to entrap the enemy. Just like their father, the three young inu youkai barely had to make an effort to kill. Still, victory was not something that was coming easy because of the kuro miko._

_The prince knew that this war was far from over even though the eastern armies were easily being disposed of. He also noticed that his warriors were not being affected by the kuro miko. That could only mean that the stubborn miko was indeed helping them after all._

"_Damn!'' He'd wanted to see this girl. His father had made such a fuss about her that he'd actually aroused his curiosity. Putting his feeling aside, he continued fighting._

* * *

The war had been going on for four straight days. It was a little past midday on that fourth day. No one had had any rest. The Inu no Taishou had ordered me to go sleep, being that I was human and such things were needed. Of course, I did not listen and continued. He did not know that in order for the spell to continue, I had to be awake.

My body _did_ need rest and I would be lying to myself if I said no. It was hard for me to protect the allied army while at the same time, protecting myself. I had never needed to protect any one else during a fight. Unknowingly, Lord Otoya granted my wish.

"Retreat!" The eastern lord turned towards the Inu no Taishou and pointed his sword at him. "This is far from over! I will be back and when I do..." he now turned to me, "I'll make sure to take my time with her after I take the Shikon no Tama. She looks like she could give me a good time!" His laughter was loud enough to burst my ear drum. The Inu no Taishou was about to charge at him but my hand stopped him. Startled, his eyes fell on me to see why I had done this. I gazed into his red eyes as I gave a small nod.

_I can take care of myself_.

He understood me and sheathed his sword.

Turning to the hyena, I mockingly replied, "REALLY? I doubt someone like _you_ could satisfy me. I doubt you can even satisfy yourself!"

Otoya's anger rose at my remark. He would have attacked us, but instead opted to retreat. We watched the enemy literally run with their tales between their legs. Soon, the only army was that of the western allies.

"Let us go back to my castle. You will stay at my home until this war is over."

"Fine." I knew it would be useless to argue so I simply accepted. "There is however, something I must do. Where is the nearest human village?"

"For you, half a day from here on that direction" He signaled south of where we were standing. "I will have a guard escort you there."

"No. With the recent events I doubt any human would trust a woman being escorted by a demon, even a miko. Besides, I must tend to the injured. Humans are my priority. I will be back by nightfall." Surprisingly, he did not dispute my decision. "Kirara, let's go."

* * *

The village was small, maybe sixty or seventy people lived there. And now, after the attack, probably less than half were left. From those that were left, mostly all were injured in one way or another. Thankfully, there was a doctor in the village that was not hurt much and had helped me.

As I came into the last house, I saw a feeble woman hovering over the body of who I supposed was her son. I noted a deep gash on his lower side. Getting up quickly when she saw me, she fell at my feet and mumbled through her tears. "Please, miko-sama, save my boy!"

Giving her a reassuring smile, I said. "Do not be troubled. Your boy won't die."

"But the wound – "

I interjected and again tried to calm her down. "Trust me. I won't let anything happen to him."

She got up and took me to the child's side. I kneeled on the right where he laid in a futon. I put my hands over his wound letting my power seep through. Without delay, he opened his eyes and hugged his mother.

I began walking towards the door when she called out to me. "My lady, how can I repay you?"

"That is alright. Knowing that he is cured is enough." I continued towards the door.

She ran in front of me and said, "Please. I cannot let you leave without giving you something!"

I was about to protest but a thought came into mind. "Perhaps there _is_ something you can do for me. Do you know the way to Kamakura?"

"The imperial city? Of course!"

"I need you to deliver a message for me to the emperor. Can you do that?" I really didn't want to send a woman out unprotected as war was being waged.

"After what you have done, I'd walk on fire without my geta (Japanese sandals) for you!"

"I don't think that would be necessary," I chuckled. "Do you have a piece of parchment and ink for a message?"

"No, but I know where to get some. If you could please sit down, I will be back." She exited the small hut and was back in less than two minutes.

"Here you go miko-sama." She handed me the materials and watched anxiously as I wrote.

When the ink was dry, I rolled the paper, took one of my ribbons and tied it. I gave it to her and gave her instructions.

"I want you to go to the castle and ask for a samurai named Hiroyaki. Now, knowing the stupid guards at the gate, they will not let you through even after you tell them that you are delivering a message from their princess. Bu – " She gasped and held her hand to her mouth. Realizing now who I was, she fell to the ground and began mumbling her apologies for not recognizing me.

With an inward roll of my eyes, I reassured her. "It's quite alright. I have never been here and it is practically impossible for you to have recognized me." When she was convinced that I was not offended, she let me continue.

"As I was saying... If they don't let you see Hiroyaki, I want you to scream at the top of your lungs as if someone was attacking you. Because you are a woman, all the guards in the palace will come out and will want to know why you are screaming. Since you now have their attention, ask them out loud which one of them is Hiroyaki. When he acknowledges himself, tell him that you have a message from Kagome to the emperor. From there, he will know what to do."

"Princess, what if it does not work and I am imprisoned or even killed. Who will care for my child?" Her fear began to bother me.

"You have my word that nothing will happen to you."

Somehow, she nodded and smiled to me. "I will leave immediately."

I held her back. She frowned and asked, "Is everything okay princess?"

"If my father or Hiroyaki or anyone else asks where I am or what I am doing, tell them I am still here helping. Say that you met me on the road to your furusato and knowing who I was, you asked me to cure the women from your village from a disease. In return, tell them I asked you to deliver this message." I grabbed my cloak and put it on.

"You are fighting in the war, are you not?" It was a simple question, but the fear behind her words stopped what I was doing.

"Hai. I assure you though, that I am doing this to keep the war from coming to the human furusato around here."

Again, she smiled. "I know. Sumimasen. A hime, not to mention a miko, would never willingly help a demon injure any human. I believe you are helping the Inu no Taishou." It was more a statement than a question.

I nodded. She walked to the door while saying, "He may be a demon, but he does not act like one. Although he has never helped us, he has never bothered us either. Domo arigatou, for your help Lady Kagome. This village will always welcome you."

**

* * *

**

I was going to end here, but I'm feeling generous today! So please, don't disappoint me and review after you finish reading the next chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

**_Though human, thou didst not deceive me, though woman, thou didst not forsake.  
-Lord Byron, "Stanza to Augusta"_**

**CHAPTER 11**

_Kari rode fast the horse Princess Kagome had bought her. She had said it would make the trip easier and get her there in one piece. She smiled at the thought. Kari had always heard of the young princess miko and of her accomplishments. At her age, she should be already married and living a comfortable life at her palace. Instead she was traveling throughout Nippon endangering her life for people that didn't appreciate her. Now, having met her, she knew those rumors of what she had 'supposedly' done couldn't possible be true. And although her father, the emperor, had required payment for her aid, she had it on good word that the princess would sometimes return the money without her father's knowledge. Concentrating on her assignment, she shook the reins of the horse, gesturing it to gallop faster._

_When she arrived at the palace doors, she was shocked to see that everything happened as the princess had told her. Hiroyaki escorted her inside and told her to wait in the gardens. Kari examined her surroundings. The palace garden was filled with sakura trees. There was a small pond and a bridge ran across it. The winter snow blanketed it. It was as if the clouds from the heavens had settled there. _

_The sound of closing footsteps brought her back to reality. She followed the noise and bowed down as she identified the emperor. 'He looks nothing like her'. She lifted the scroll to the emperor without standing up._

"_My lieutenant here informed me that you bring a message from my daughter. Where did you meet her?" His voice carried the concern in his face._

_Recalling what the princess told her, she responded. "I was on my way to search for aid for the women on my furusato when I encountered Lady Kagome. When I realized who she was I asked her to return with me to my village and help us rid the women from a fatal disease. I paid her in advance and she agreed."_

_Lord Seiya looked down on the woman and then opened the scroll. _

_Sumera-Mikoto (heavenly sovereign),_

_Forgive me for letting you know of my whereabouts in this manner. I was on my way back home when I came across the woman who is delivering this message. I trust she will tell you the reason of my delay. _

_I still do not know what these women suffer from and therefore have not found a cure. Although it is not contagious, I wish to keep this disease from spreading outside this village. _

_Please, I beg of you, do not send anyone. I fear that any outside contact might make matters worse. I shall return home as soon as possible. Kirara is by my side and will help me guard this village. Above all, do not let Hiroyaki convince you to let him come for me. Thank you._

_Arigatou gozaimasu._

_Kagome_

_Hiroyaki, who had also been reading the message, began to argue with the emperor about her last statement. "My king, I ask that you let me go! She might need my help."_

"_She specifically asked that I not seek her out. I wish to respect the wishes of my daughter. What's more is that you and I both know that she can take care of herself. Why, she can take on a whole demon army by herself!" Lord Seiwa's last words were said with much pride. Kari had to keep herself from laughing at the irony of his words. _

'_If you only knew,' she thought._

"_Onna (woman)," the emperor ordered, "Where is this village of yours?"_

"_A day and a half from here my lord. But, then again, I rode a horse, so it might be about three and a half days on foot if you do not stop to rest." _

"_Very well. Hiroyaki, pay this woman for her services and feed her horse. I am sure she is eager to return to her furusato as soon as possible." He was about to leave when Kari spoke to him._

"_Tenno (sovereign), payment is not needed. Princess Kagome's help is more than enough."_

"_Alright. Then have your horse watered and fed so you may return to your family." The emperor watched as she once again bowed and gave her thanks. She did not see the disgust in his face when she had turned._

"_My lord, do you think it is wise to not follow her?" Hiroyaki asked as he saw the woman leave on her horse._

"_Hai. My daughter is still mad that I had you follow her to that village south of here. I do not wish to anger her more."_

"_I just worry about her. I cannot help it. She means more to me than anything else." He glanced at Lord Seiwa and waited for his reaction._

"_I know. In fact, that is something I've been meaning to speak to you about." He wrapped an arm around his most trusted samurai as he led him into the dinning hall._

* * *

Kirara and I passed through the gates of the Inu no Taishou's castle, the Crescent Moon (_Inu Ancestor's Royal Home)_, just as the sun was beginning to set. I was tired but I did not stop to rest. Several demons that were camped outside turned to see us and began to growl. We ignored them as I came into view of the entrance. A leopard demoness could not contain her anger and started towards me. I paused and turned. I knew I could not kill them so I settled for teaching her a lesson.

The youkai was pushed back hard as she bumped into my barrier and hissed in pain at the burn it made on her hands. Kirara transformed and growled at the demoness.

"I will shred you to pieces miko for daring to come into the territories of my lord!" She pushed herself off the floor, readying herself for another attack. She never got the chance for a white blur pushed her down in mid air again as it came to stand before me.

:STAND DOWN: he growled in what I would later come to realize was the inu language, which at that moment annoyed me because I had no idea if he had just insulted me. "If you so much as take another step, I will make sure you live to regret your actions." All the growls had stopped when they recognized their leader.

Keeping his eyes on his warriors he asked, "Daijoubou desu ka?"

"_Please_, your pathetic army could not touch me even in my sleep!" I glared at the demoness who was currently still on the ground.

He smirked.

"Listen up." His voice carried the command and seriousness of his order. "This is Lady Kagome. She and I have made a pact. She is here to help us fight off the kuro miko working under Lord Otoya and the reason why such kuro miko have not purified any of you. She carries my mark for the time being. Any attack on her is an attack to me. You will defend her and aid her in whatever she asks. She shall also be staying here under my care. Do I make myself clear?" Silence and nodding heads gave him his answer.

"One more thing. Seeing how she will be here for the duration of the battle, all of you will treat her with the respect due to a Lady of the Western Lands."

I had been smiling mockingly at all of them until he spoke those last words. I whipped my head to look at him. _Lady of the Western Lands? Why the hell had he said that?!_

I regained my composure and pretended to agree. He motioned me to follow him inside. I waited until we were left alone to talk to him. When he closed the door to his study, I took in a deep breath.

"_TEME( You bastard)! _THOSE TREES MUST HAVE REALLY LEFT A DENT IN YOU! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? I... HOW... I AM NOT TO BE TREATED AS _LADY OF THE WESTERN LANDS_!" I was beside myself with anger. Had this been a cartoon, you probably could have seen smoke coming out of my ears. Fortunately, I had kept my voice to a high whisper.

"I give you respect and I demand that you treat me with it as well. Please, refrain from addressing me with nothing less than 'my Lord'. He glanced at me and I saw the humor in his eyes." _He's having fun at my expense!_

"Alright... _my_ _Lord_ ." My words came out through gritted teeth.

"One of my most trusted will show you to your quarters. If you need anything, ask and it shall be given. I will call you down for dinner in a while." He went back to reading some scrolls that were left in his desk.

I did not even excuse myself when I left his study. I closed the door behind me and came face to face with an inu youkai that was waiting for me. He bowed and smiled, genuinely. In appearance, he seemed about my age. Electrifying blue eyes gave me a look that was searing. Unnerving. It was so intense that I could almost feel his hands on me. The red of his hair, which was half held up, contrasted with the tanned skin. He too had the small gold sun on his upper right arm that I had seen on the other inu youkai. It seemed that all who lived in this land, at least men, dressed mostly in the same manner with the long and airy hitatare and hakama. His hakama was a deep purple and his hitatare was a crisp white with a crescent moon on its front fold.

"My lady, my name is Juro. I am to personally tend to your needs while you stay here. If there is anything you need, please do not hesitate to ask."

I tried to stay mad, but I found no reason to. The youkai servant was only following his master's orders. It was true that I despised demons, but even then I would not kill unless it was in self defense. I looked at his blue eyes. He was old, centuries perhaps, but he had been human he'd be only a few years older than me. His beautiful red hair was almost as long as the Daiyoukai.

"Arigatou, Juro." I replied at him.

He stared at me. He had not expected me to do that. I suppose I wouldn't expect me to speak kindly at a demon either. Juro asked me to follow him. We walked up spiraling stairs and down a very long and wide hall. I observed the numerous tapestries hanging in the walls. Many of them had a white demon dog standing among other demons. I recognized the inu youkai. One tapestry in particular caught my attention and I paused to see it better.

There was, again, a giant inu standing atop a mountain. As I looked close I observed that he was hovering over two figures. One of the figures was a beautiful demoness. Her long pale blonde hair ran all the way to her ankles. Her eyes were a clear blue. She had two magenta stripes, one in each cheek. In between her eye brows was the same crescent moon that the Daiyoukai had. Next to her, was a small inu youkai. He looked just like the Inu no Taishou.

Juro's voice interrupted my thoughts. "That is the Inu no Taishou. Under him, are the late Lady of the West, Lady Aikiko and their son, Lord Sesshoumaru." He was pointing at them.

I wanted to ask about them but I decided against it. They were none of my business. As soon as this war was over, I would be returning to my usual duties and never seeing them again.

I walked a few steps more and stopped. Gliding the door so I could enter, he said, "This will be your room. I will come for you when dinner is ready. Is there anything that you require before I make my leave?"

I was already inside removing my cloak. "No. There is only one thing I require. I was wishing to take a bath. Is there a bathing chamber?"

He walked inside and slided open a door. I moved to where he was and saw a beautiful hot spring that was build inside. "If there is anything else, please call for me. Everything to clean your self is inside. Drying cloths are over there. I will leave a kimono and sleeping yukata for later on your futon."

"I can fend for myself."

"Very well."

_

* * *

_

The Daiyoukai studied various attack plans that were devised by some of his most trusted officers. Although many were very good, they always seemed to find a flaw in them. He was beginning to feel frustrated and was about to break his new desk but a knock interrupted.

"_Enter." He looked at Ujio who entered slowly detecting the irritation in the lord's response._

"_Chichioya (father), dinner is ready." _

"_Very well. We shall continue working on this after dinner. The sooner we end this war, the better. Go and eat." He gestured for his captains to head for the gardens where their food was waiting. _

"_Ujio. Inform Lady Kagome that dinner is ready and escort her to my dinning hall." He returned to arranging his desk when he observed that his son was looking at him in awe._

_Standing straight he surprised Ujio. "What is it?"_

"_No... no-nothing my lord." Ujio stuttered._

"_Then why are you standing there fidgeting?" Inu no Taishou was becoming annoyed._

"_It's just that the only ones that eat in the private dinning hall are yourself, Sesshoumaru, Juro, me and... the late Queen. Only family is allowed to eat there." Ujio knew he was crossing the line by bringing this up but he wished to know why his father would allow a mortal, a miko nonetheless, and not a family member, to sit at the inu family dinning hall._

_The Inu no Taishou took in a long breath. He glared at this adoptive son who was already starting to tremble more at the silence. Raising an eyebrow and walking around his desk he leaned on the empty chair facing Ujio._

"_I was not aware that it was now customary for the pups to question what their alpha has to say." _

"_No my lord! I was not questioning your orders. I was simply stating that –" Ujio stood his ground._

"_Not that you deserve an explanation, but so that you make sure no one makes the same mistake you just did, I will tell you why." He paused enjoying the fear that he saw in his son. He was by no means aggressive, but he did not like to be questioned or disobeyed. He'd cared for and defended his land and its inhabitants for almost a millennia. All that he demanded in return was loyalty and obedience. Was it really too much to ask?_

"_I told all of you that Lady Kagome, for the moment, was to be treated as Lady of the Western Lands. You and all my demon army surely have perceived my scent in her. Therefore, does not that make her family and the right to dine with me? Clearly you can see I am not breaking any tradition." He really did want her presence during dinner. It had been long since a female sat at the table with him. "Now, go fetch her and inform the others in the castle of what I just told you!"_

_Understanding, but not content, with the answer the Daiyoukai had given him, Ujio scurried to the upstairs rooms to fetch the miko. He really, REALLY did not want to see her. _

_Arriving at her door he knocked lightly as not to upset her. He still remembered what she did to him._

* * *

"Lady Kagome? I am here to escort you to dinner." The youkai called from outside waiting for me to allow him access.

"One moment." I slid the door without looking at who was there. "I– " Glancing at the nervous male who stood at my door, I smirked. "_You_. Did you really miss me that much or have you come to ask that I finally grant your death?" I turned my back to him and fixed my weapons

His entire body tensed. He was angry! However, his words contradicted his current emotional state when he heard Kirara's growls. "No, my lady. I am simply here following the orders of my lord." His head was a bit bent but he was looking at me through his bangs.

Kirara instantly growled. '_I don't like the way he's looking at you."_ I arched a brow at Kirara's angry words in my head.

"_You don't like the way any man looks at me. Not even father."_ The neko scoffed.

'_Still, he hasn't taken his eyes off you, Kagome. He's watching you now. His head is bent down, but there's lust in his eyes as he stares at you. Like he can already feel you under him. I don't trust him or that look. His gaze is too intense. Can I bite him?'_

For some unknown reason, knowing that the inu youkai was watching me made me self conscious. '_We're playing nice for now, Kirara.'_

'_I don't want to be nice, Kagome. Every instinct I have tells me to bite him. If you have any respect for my animal abilities, let me put him down now and save us both more days in this flea-infested place.'_

I paused. Most likely this inu youkai would make the mistake of crossing my path in the future, especially if it was this aggressive against humans. And yet the Inu no Taishou's words from earlier rang in my head.

'_I owe the Inu no Taishou for his end of the bargain.' _She scoffed again.

He stood there glaring daggers at Kirara. "Here, kitty, want to go follow the mouse in the well? C'mon, girl, I'll even slide the door for you and toss you a treat."

'_Here psycho-dog, wanna find my teeth in your―'_

'_Kirara!'_

'_I can't help it. He bothers me a lot.'_

I turned around to face him and leveled a sneer at him. The fact that I had been ignoring him for the last few minutes didn't bode well for him. "Look, let's just compromise for now. We are on the same side. At least, let's try. I'm not asking you to be my best friend by any means! All I'm saying is that we speak to each other without any insults. I'll even promise to let you have a go at killing me once this is over before I kill you."

Ujio looked as he was considering my invitation of shredding me to pieces right now. He flexed his claws.

"You should be more careful," he said.

"Believe me I'm not the one who needs to be careful." My voice was sinister as I spoke those words, reinforcing my lethalness.

"Are you threatening me?" he asked. I said nothing. I was a total wall of silence.

Ujio drew near to me. He moved to my side, intruding on my personal space. I was torn between wanting to stand beside him and wanting to curse his nearness. I decided to pull away. "Look, could you just stay away from me?"

"Does it bother you for me to come near?"

More than he could imagine. When he was near me, it was easy to forget what I was. Easy to pretend I was in control of my unsated hunger and that I was normal. But that wasn't me. That had never been me.

"Yes it does," I said, my tone low, threatening. "I don't like anyone to get near me."

"Why?"

"That's none of your damned business, inu," I snapped at him. "I just don't like people to touch me and I don't like them to come near me. So back off and leave me alone before you get hurt."

Kirara growled at him again, more fiercely this time.

Eyeing me suspiciously, he looked to the floor, pondering on my words. He raised his eyes to mine and looked, trying to find any hidden lies. I guess he saw that I was honest. "I suppose _we could_ try and get along while you are here."

He spoke to me again. "Still, I don't trust you. I'll be keeping an eye for you!"

"Hmm...sounds fair. Lead the way."

_

* * *

_

When she opened the door, Ujio was struck not only by the sweet scent of gardenias but also by something he'd missed before. Kagome was breathtaking. Her black chihaya couldn't hide the curvaceous body that rippled with power. Her face small and well sculpted. The planes of it, even while not covered by the paint that most females used, were a study in perfect female proportions. Yet she wasn't pretty, she was darkly beautiful. Almost sinister looking for her long black eyelashes and pouty lips that softened her face.

_But what struck him most as she sat down when after he arrived in the room and she stared out the window was the deep sadness in her lavender eyes. The haunted shadow that hovered there. She looked tired. Lost. Most of all, she looked terribly lonely. She glanced at him and frowned before she practically kicked him out._

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All right, people...Please review!!


	13. Chapter 13

**_And thus, untaught in youth my heart to tame, my springs of life were poison'd. 'Tis too late!  
-Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canton III_**

**CHAPTER 12**

I entered the dinning hall and the door behind me was quickly shut. Only the Daiyoukai, the messenger Ujio and the servant from before, Juro, were present in the huge room. He motioned for me to take a seat next to him. It was more than evident that he was used to people obeying his every whim.

_Not me_. I went to kneel at the other end of the table.

He did not argue. He remained motionless looking at me. He narrowed his gaze and leaned a little towards me. "I wish to thank you for your assistance in battle, especially for, er, shielding me against those demons."

I replied in a bored expression. "I am simply keeping my end. Were it not for our pact, I would have sat with much pleasure as they tore you up in pieces." I smiled innocently at him.

"Still on the defensive, huh?"

"I will never trust a demon. Particularly a Daiyoukai."

The other two inu youkai almost choked on their saliva at my response.

"I'm sorry you find us bothersome," he said. "But since we seem to be stuck together for a bit, you could try and be a little more sociable. At the very least civil."

Maybe he was right. But the bad thing was, I didn't know how to be sociable, never mind civil. No one had ever wanted or was allowed (thanks to my title) to converse with me either as a woman or as a miko.

A rumbling laughter escaped his mouth. "Priestess, I open my home and my service to you and yet you insist on guarding yourself. I have literally put my life in your hands. What more proof do you seek of my allegiance to you?"

I took a deep sigh. He was right. "I do not trust. I assure you that I will _try_. But I promise nothing."

"That is acceptable. Let us eat."

Dinner was quiet, with only a few comments amongst the inu youkai. Through dinner 'conversation', I found out that the two young youkai were not servants but rather the Daiyoukai's relatives. It was a surprising turn of events. I immediately tossed it aside. _What the hell did I care!_' We then moved to his study in the fifth floor to go over the plan of attack with his commanding officers, Lord Fatsu, Daiyoukai of the Southern Lands, Lady Yasu, Daiyoukai of the Northern Lands, Ujio and Juro. The better part of the night was spent going over the attack so as not to miss anything.

When the youkai occupying his study left to inform the rest of the army of our plans, the Inu no Taishou and I were left alone. He sat down in his large chair. He did not seem to realize I was still there. And then, as if remembering my presence, he turned to me.

"Tell me Lady Kagome. Does the okami (Emperor) know where you are and what you are doing?" I could tell it was more his curiosity than his concern.

"Are you jesting?! He would tie me down to a stump before letting me help you!" Somehow I had left my guard down. Between dinner and our strategic talk, I had allowed myself to relax in his presence. "I sent him a message informing him that I was aiding a village with some disease." I was petting Kirara, who also seemed to relax around the inu youkai.

"Do you not fear he will send someone looking for you? If you were my daughter, I would have already sent my entire army to retrieve you." He glanced at me awaiting my answer.

"He knows better than that. I am still upset at his latest attempt to 'protect' me. I have been taking care of myself for years. He does not understand that I am quite capable of living without him smothering me." I looked outside avoiding his questioning gaze.

"You are his only daughter. It is only natural that he worries about you. I myself have only one heir and although I know he is also capable of surviving on his own, I cannot help feel for his safety. Do not be so hard on him. It is our duty as parents."

"Your reasons for worry are not the same as my otou-san. His only concern is for the wages I bring home at the end of the day." Stiffening in my seat, I realized too late that I shouldn't have told him this, but I said it before I could stop myself. "I will now retire. It has been a long day and I need to rest if we are to end this soon. Oyasuminasai (Good night), my lord." I bowed and exited as fast as possible.

* * *

'_His only concern is for the wages I bring home at the end of the day.'_

_Her words plagued him all night. They were said with such sadness. She had unwound and relaxed. It was something he was hoping would happen. He worried about her and was surprised to acknowledge that he __**did**__ see her as a daughter. She had been burdened with such a responsibility at such a young age. Her eyes held much emptiness._

_It was the same emotion he had seen on her mother when he had last seen her – after she got married. Of course, that had been a different kind of emptiness, but just as strong. He would keep his promise to her. He would keep her daughter safe, even from her father. He owed her at least that much._

_His thoughts reverted to something he noticed several days ago when he first came in contact with her at the monastery. Not only could he not figure out her transformation, but he could have sworn he saw someone else with them. It was an almost invisible presence. His nose did not lie to him, though. It was a smell quite like none he had ever smelled._

_While Kagome's scent was a mixture of lilies and kuchinashi (gardenias), a foreign flower he was sure he had smelled on his travels to the mainland, this other scent was different. The actual smell was something he did not like. It was difficult to describe, nonetheless, the spiritual connection between "the presence" and Kagome was strong. _

_He would have to delve about these two things after the war. _

* * *

"_What are you? Mental?" Ujio cursed to himself. _

_The entire time he had spent around the miko had felt an odd impulse to touch her. To see if her skin was as soft as it appeared. It'd been a long time since he had last felt such a desire to reach out to any female. But the miko ―the very HUMAN miko. Idly, he wondered what her blood would taste like, unconsciously, opening his lips and baring his fangs._

_The need for her was almost overwhelming. But not nearly as demanding as the desire to touch her body._

_He had left the Crescent Moon to put some good distance between them. He had to._

_Ujio entered the Kuroi Hoshi (Black Star; Lady Aikiko's castle) that stood on the other side of the western mountains. He'd had only two days of rest since his last message delivery, but that had not stopped him. He was proud that the Inu no Taishou trusted him and treated him like a son. This time, he was taking a message to his prince and brother._

_Finding him, sparing in the gardens, he marched in his direction. He reached him; he waited for his younger brother to acknowledge him. Even though the youkai prince was only two centuries old, he already demonstrated that he was more than capable of carrying after his father. One thing worried Ujio though. The prince had begun alienating everyone since the death of his mother one hundred and seventy years ago. Gradually, he had begun masking his loneliness with arrogance and disdain. _

_Finally, ending the small fight, the prince faced Ujio. "I believe you carry news from my sire?"_

"_Yes, my friend." Ujio handed him the message. He opened the scroll and read it._

_Tossing the scroll, the prince addressed Ujio once more. "So father wants me to stay and lead the armies on this side. From what I read, I see he has a great plan." He strolled to the entrance of his home and kept talking so Ujio could pursue him inside._

"_Tell me Ujio... about the miko."_

"_She's... different." Ujio was brought to a stop when he realized he had spoken his opinion and not exactly what his brother had wanted to know. _

"_It's okay, my brother!" he chuckled. Slapping an arm around the older youkai, he led him to the kitchen. "I know what you mean. I also think the miko was a bad idea. Hell, the fact that she had the nerve to deny her aid to my sire, does not speak well of her! But you know my chichi-ue will always have the last word. Besides, there's also the little incident that she caused some years back." Everyone on the island, both human and youkai, knew about what she had done. He continued. "What you do you know? Is she as insane as she is rumored to be?"_

_Sesshoumaru heard Ujio take a deep breath as he tensed the hand on his shoulder. "She is so far beyond help that none of her kind will aid her."_

_He had never heard of such a thing before. But then again, humans were despicable, traitorous beings. "Never?"_

"_Sometimes other spiritually endowed beings will go to her while she fights, but they only go so that they can help and lessen the fury of her aura. It is so intense that none of them can stand it for long before they have to leave, too."_

"_Why is she like this? What fuels her rage?"_

_Ujio was just as puzzled. He had some theories of his own. However, the recent lust of his inner demon for this woman was something to question also. Yet, he refused to even fathom such monstrosity. "What does it matter? he asked. "Father told me she has been marked for death. Every youkai and ronin samurai has tried to kill her."_

_Why did everyone want Kagome to die? Ujio couldn't understand such animosity toward her, either. No wonder the woman acted the way she did. Did anyone even _like _her?_

_Sesshoumaru felt a pang of pity for the miko that left as quickly as it came. It wasn't his problem. "A rabid dog cannot be saved, Ujio. It is best for everyone, including the dog, for it to be put down. In the miko's case, it would be."_

"_I couldn't agree more!" Happy for once someone was on his side, he smiled. Somehow, that girl had managed to get on the good side of all the servants. _

"_Ani (brother)," Ujio added, "there is also something else you should know about her. It seems that she holds more power than we thought. Just the other day when otou-san sent me to her, I found her in a small furusato with a group of children. You won't believe the things she was able to do..."_

_The future Western lord listened to his older brother as he narrated the events of the battle on the other side of the mountain. Ujio was older – almost by nine human years. He had been his friend and family whenever the Daiyoukai was gone to battle some other lord. He had also been his safe refuge after the death of his mother. The Inu no Taishou had secluded himself inside the Crescent Moon and had not even bothered taking him. He was left here in the Kuroi Hoshi, with Ujio and Juro as his only friends. After that, he just closed himself from everyone. He repressed his sorrow and replaced it with rebellion... and eventually with women._

"_...and she lurks around the shadows of the castle!" The youkai excluded the part where their father had announced that the girl be treated as Lady of the Western Lands knowing well that his friend would not take this lightly._

"_Thank you for your information. Now, join me for dinner before you go and take my reply to my father." The youkai was more than glad to indulge his friend in this._

_

* * *

_

After Ujio had left with his reply for the Inu no Taishou, the prince entered his room to ponder on this information about the miko. It seemed she was keeping her end of the bargain. Until the other priestesses were found, the miko would be a more than a valuable resource.

'_I just wish this damn war would end soon! I'm growing weary of having to waste my time with simpleton youkai.' He thought._

_He looked out of his window towards the path that led to the other side of the mountain. The thoughts about the miko plagued him. That was one of the reasons he dreaded sleeping. She had not even presented herself before him and he already felt her. It was a strange feeling to say the least. It was a small pull at his soul._

_Somehow, he needed to see her. This was much stronger than simple curiosity. _

_He stripped himself from his armor and outer clothing and went to his futon with just his juban (under shirt)._

* * *

I made my way to my appointed quarters in the Crescent Moon. I was too wrapped up on what I had just confessed to the Daiyoukai, that I didn't notice where I ended up. When I finally broke from my stupor, I was before a strange door. Not so much strange, but odd, in that it stood out from all the monotonous shoji doors in the castle.

Gliding the door open, I stepped inside careful not to make any noise in case someone was within. The only light inside the heya were the few stray beams of the full moon that entered through the half-closed window. I squeezed my eyes but it was not really necessary. From my childhood years, my sight somehow adapted itself in these situations and in a matter of seconds my entire surroundings became visible.

There was also a very pleasant and calming fragrance to this room. It was similar to the scent of the air after the rain. I walked over to the futon and lied on it, compelled by some unknown reason to do so. It felt so good.

As I gazed around the room from my position on the bed, a certain object caught my attention. There, hanging from the ceiling, was a circlet. The small amount of lighting gave just enough sparkle to it. I wanted to see it better so I reached my hand for it.

"First you accuse me of not trusting you and then you do this. What am I supposed to think when I find you barging into a room that is not yours?" a deep voice called from outside the room.

I jumped. I had not heard him. I turned around slowly hoping it was my conscious.

_Great Kagome! How do you plan on getting out of this one?!_

"Um...I...I... got lost." I started removing imaginary dust from my haori.

"I am very sure you did." Raising an eyebrow, "That is why I came looking for you. I knew you were too deep in your thoughts to notice which way you were going." Stepping aside he suggested with one hand for me to follow him.

Blushing, I gave my apologies and left the room. I trailed after him through various corridors, halting at a door where Kirara was growling at Juro. The inu simply ignored my neko friend but kept his distance. Upon catching my scent, Kirara stopped and rubbed at my leg.

'_Not a moment too soon. I was just about to sharpen my claws on the dog.'_

I smirked and responded. '_I wouldn't if I were you. He's the only one that hasn't been hostile.'_

"Here is your room. Make sure you are accompanied at all times, so you don't... get lost." He grinned and glanced back at Juro who was standing at my door. "Stay outside the door in case Kagome-hime needs your assistance. Don't let her out of your sight. This is a huge castle. Oyasuminasai, my Lady. Breakfast will be served at dawn, so prepare early." Bowing he left my room and Juro closed the door behind them.

I sighed. _Well that went well!_

I sat on my futon and turned my eyes towards the window. It was a clear cool, peaceful night that contrasted greatly with the events of these past days. I removed my clothing and reached for the yukata that lay at the small dressing table by the window. When I stood there looking in the direction of gardens, I saw many lights and thousands of camping tents that belonged to the warriors. The dark figures stood out greatly in the white snow that covered the ground.

I realized that all these youkai were here for the Inu no Taishou. Never in all my previous battles against youkai or ningen, had I seen such loyalty and respect for a leader as these soldiers held for the Daiyoukai. Since the first day of battle, they all had stood up for each other, working as a single unit, raising their swords in defense for the youkai next to them. It hadn't mattered that they were from different clans or lands. All of them had fought and never complained or backed down. Any human would have already fled for their life or simply given up there.

Moving back to my futon, I laid down and slowly but surely I fell into a light sleep. A nightmare quickly followed. I was standing immobile while vicious, horrid images tore through my mind. The sight of the village in flames.

Of bodies lying scattered all around.

The faint sounds of people screaming.

The fury inside my heart demanded blood...

_A brown-eyed shadow._

Perhaps not more than two hours had passed since I had lied down, when I felt something odd and bolted up from my bed. I ceased my movements and tried to locate what exactly gave me this feeling. It was as if someone was watching me. I turned my head and searched my room. No one was in here with me, but "the presence" I felt was familiar. It took a few more seconds than usual to recognize the ever-present shadow that followed me at home. It seemed that it followed me even to the western lands.

For a moment, I thought I could make out brown eyes, but I quickly dismissed the thought. I hadn't slept in four days and my sight was bound to play tricks on me.

Juro must have sensed my uneasiness because he knocked and called from the other side. "Lady Kagome, daijoubou desu ka?"

"Hai." I narrowed my eyes. My visitor disappeared at the sound of Juro's voice. .

He entered and looked startled. He walked towards the opposite of the room where I lay on the hard floor, his hand outstretched. "How do you feel?" he asked, patting my shoulder as he kneeled next to me.

I cringed at the sensation of his warm hands on my flesh. It was gentle. Searing. And it made a foreign part of me ache. But worst of all, it made my hackles rise. I'd never be able to stand anyone touching me.

"I'd rather you not do that."

"Do what?" he asked.

"Touch me." He pulled back slowly and blinked methodically.

"I just wanted to feel your temperature. Humans don't do very well in this cold weather."

"Yeah, well, we all have problems." I stood up. I was bare-foot.

I opened my mouth but I closed it. It would be useless to ask him if he had felt it too so I just told him something else. "Show me a part of the castle where I can practice? I'd prefer if you escort me to an area that is secluded and no youkai are around." _If at all possible!_

"There is an unoccupied area on the south garden. I will take you there at first light."

"No." I frowned.

"No?" He almost looked frightened.

"Alright. I believe I could - " I didn't give him time to finish when I pulled him with me out the door. Then I paused.

Clutching my yukata closer, I mumbled, "Um... I might need to change. Could you wait outside and then take me there?"

Sighing he shook his head and smiled. "Of course, my lady!"

* * *

Juro stopped in the middle of an open field that was blanketed with winter snow. According to Juro, this particular field was usually covered in moon flowers during spring. He signaled to a small hut in the far corner near the wall. "That houses some of the weapons used by my Lord. And taking in mind that he ordered you be treated as the Lady of the West, I see no problem in you using his weapons to practice. However, might I be so bold as to speak my mind?"

I hadn't even listened to Juro and only caught his last words. The plain in which I stood took my breath away. Although it was winter, the castle walls and most of the grounds were covered in chrysanthemum. Too absorbed in my thoughts, I nodded my acceptance absentmindedly.

"I think you should be in bed getting some rest. If my Lord wants to attack first, he will do so right after breakfast. You're a ningen who needs her rest. Perhaps if we went back?" I took notice of his form. He was worried.

"I did rest before dinner. Besides, I couldn't sleep anymore now if my life depended on it. This exercise will aid _my ningen body_ regain its strength in no time. You are excused."

"Otokooya (father) explicitly said I should not leave you." He stood there with his paws firmly in the ground. For a minute there I thought that a hurricane would not move him.

Moving forward, I waved my hand in the air. "Whatever. Just make sure to stay back. I wouldn't want to tell your master I accidentally made demon dust out of you." Looking back at him I smirked when I saw his face pale.

_

* * *

_

Juro was the type of demon who'd anyone would call a lover and not a fighter. He did enjoy other youkai company and he would be lying if he said he'd never bedded a demoness. Years ago, especially during his schooling, he'd done some outrageous things with his brothers and he was, dare he say, a pretty good fighter.

_But after returning from his 'awakening', he had settled for a peaceful life. He wanted a mate and some day even pups. He already knew what kind of demoness he wished to mate and he'd already found her, too._

_Nevertheless, today, for the first time since he'd found his perfect match, he had a momentary lapse in judgment._

_Juro froze as the woman had appeared outside his father's study. _

_Damn me..._

_She was incredible. Her shiny hair was the color of molasses, and it was held up on a bun by two blue ribbons whose ends fell to her nape. Her skin was pale, with rosy cheeks and lips that had obviously never been kissed. She stood a full head and half shorter than him and wore a black chihaya that hugged rather than hid her womanly attributes. Her eyes were pale, pale lavender. So light that at first glance, they were almost colorless. _

_Kami she was beautiful._

_The smell of gardenias permeated him and he felt a desperate need to bend down, bury his face against her creamy skin and just inhale her sweet scent. To sink his fangs into her soft, tender neck and sample the life force inside her. If he didn't know any better he'd swear she was turning him on. Unable to move from the force of his fantasy, Juro had stood perfectly still as she cleared her throat. _

_He stepped aside and walked her to her room. It wasn't until he had closed the shoji outside her room that he allowed himself to breathe. Chills had rushed over him. Thankfully he collected himself by the time she requested to be taken outside._

_The young inu youkai sat amazed. He had battled many fierce youkai, survived many dangers and witnessed some of the most powerful displays of power. Taken, he was not, by any means, a male who enjoyed any kind of fighting. _

_Her every move was precise. Each one of her thrusts seemed to be given with the intent to render her opponent defenseless. Her face showed every bit of concentration and her aura radiated nothing less than fierceness. Juro was sure that the damage he'd heard about her do in the past four days on the battle field and now wasn't even a glimpse of what this small woman could really do._

_A frown creased his forehead as a thought came to his mind. He was well aware of her reputation. Not one to judge blindly, he didn't listen to the stories he'd heard among the youkai villages. An incredible rush went through him. He felt her darkened aura. That truly scared him. This was a woman capable of anything. One of almost godlike powers._

_And for her incredible powers she had been alone. He couldn't imagine being banished the way Kagome had been. At the time she had been taken to the monastery, she had been a defenseless pup without the protection of her pack. The reports from Inu no Taishou's messenger had been somewhat detailed._

_The climate harsh. Inhospitable. Desolate. Bleak. He'd lost his parents at a young age, but at least he had the Lady Aikiko, the Inu no Taishou and his two brothers to help him. Kagome had been denied anyone._

_While other miko were allowed to train at shrines, Kagome had been forced to endure her childhood in solitude. Alone. He couldn't imagine how she must have suffered over the years as she struggled through her days, knowing she would never have a reprieve of any kind. Especially after the village incident._

_No wonder she was insane._

_It seemed that now, the idea of her surname 'The Perfect Killer', was rightfully dubbed. As he continued to watch, so entranced was he that he failed to notice the rather large audience she was gathering around her. In fact, were it not for the figure that had just blocked his view, he would have sat there admiring her._

_He was about to tell them to leave the area when she stopped and opened her eyes. She sheathed her sword and looked around as if looking for someone. It was then that he saw something that almost made his jaw drop. _

_She asked one of the captains to spar with her._

_

* * *

_

The demon Lord was tossing and turning in his bed. He was constantly thinking about his son. He knew that his heir was unharmed and was awaiting his orders on the other castle. Yet, he worried. Kagome's last words still rung in his head.

_He'd heard of Lord Seiwa, Emperor of Nippon and his dealings. He knew how he had sent Kagome away after sending his first born son to be beheaded. The man was crazy and still was. The Inu no Taishou felt pity for her._

"_If she were my daughter, I'd made sure she understood how much I cared for her and loved her. I'd make sure that every day she lived, I was there for her. If she were my daughter―" He stopped there. She wasn't his pup. _

_It was then that he heard the clatter of swords outside. His first thought was that the enemy had found out about his plan and attacked. He swiftly snatched his swords and_ _jumped out his balcony running towards the source of the noise. On his way, he noticed that most of this army was not there. That only served to heighten his bad feeling._

_Running faster he was brought to a halt when he saw what was the basis for the commotion. The missing demons were cheering with their swords and surrounding some one. He inched closer and his army moved aside to let him see what they were gawking at._

_There, in the center, was the miko sparring with one of his lieutenants. She was holding back, he could tell. His lieutenant wasn't doing the same, however. The young demon was giving it his all, but it seemed that it didn't make the miko shy away. With one light punch of her hand she sent the officer flying several feet away. Instantly, another of his lower officers jumped in ready to fight. _

_One by one, she defeated them without the use of any weapon. By the look on her face, she seemed to be enjoying the spars and encouraged the demons to join in. Soon she was fighting against four and five at a time without the use of powers. It made no difference. Her skills allowed her the freedom to move around easily. Although they were faster, she was using that to her advantage._

_It was then that he noticed that this 'exercise' was her way of preparing them for battle with the kuro miko. Obviously the other priestesses were not even close to her in age; however, the employment of her powers gave them a small glimpse of what they were going against. She even went as far as to correct them when they made a mistake and give them hints on her attacks. To these youkai, she must have seemed undefeatable, but the Inu no Taishou could see some open spaces where she could be brought down. Certainly these would only be apparent to experienced Daiyoukai like himself._

_After this, he decided it was time he got a piece of the fun. Grabbing his sword by the hilt, he leapt in._

* * *

I reached back to unsheathe my two naginata. I turned them once in my hands before joining them by the hilts and watching their magic fuse them into one. Closing my eyes and blocking out the sounds around me, I twirled my weapon and moved it as if it were an extension of my arm. Little by little I intensified my workout adding spins, kicks and some other training movements.

Deep in my concentration, I did not notice I had an audience. As I finished the last of my training, I opened my eyes and saw half the western, northern and southern army gazing at me. Most of the stares were in shock, while others were accompanied by smirks. I separated my blade and sheathed it. Surveying my audience, I motioned for one of them to join me. Eagerly, he stepped in. He was, I could tell, an experienced warrior. I took my fighting stance and beckoned him with my hand to brawl with me.

As one was defeated, another jumped in. Soon, they were attacking me in pairs of two or three at a time. It was not hard. Quite the contrary – it was exactly what I needed. If I wanted to return home alive I needed to make sure they won. Some of them were good and went to the degree of landing blows to my body, which were really not bad at all. Speed and strength was on their side, but brains and courage were on mine.

Suppressing my urging power that came naturally when a youkai was near, I put out my hand to signal a pause to my opponents. They stopped and looked at me in confusion.

"I have been keeping my spiritual powers down. However," I eyed them all in warning, "I will call upon a fragment of my ability. Do not be concerned for I will do nothing to harm you. This is merely to prepare you for the kuro miko." Again taking my stance, I motioned for them to continue their attack.

In the middle of the 'practice', I sensed a great youki come closer. I narrowed my eyes and pushed back my assailants just in time to reach my naginata and guard against the intruder's blade.

_Cling_

"I thought I told you to rest!" He looked down on me.

"I thought I told you that I didn't need to rest." With that said, I pushed him back. He was much stronger than all of these demons here so I only managed to make him slide back a few feet.

He cased his sword and barked to the soldiers in what I suppose was something like 'go back to the camp and wait for orders". When the last demon was out of sight, he glanced at me and chuckled.

"Arigatou. My armies will, in the end, live because of this." He gave a sincere smile and bowed. And before I could interject with any kind of reply, for he surely saw my eyes roll, he added, "We should head to the dining hall and eat something. We shall part immediately after breakfast."

I nodded and trailed after him noting for the first time that dawn was approaching fast.


	14. Chapter 14

_**I want a hero.**_

_**-Lord Byron, Don Juan Canto I**_

**CHAPTER 13**

**1204 A.D. JANUARY**

Three and a half excruciating weeks passed before the Western army could be declared victor of the War of Lords, as the Daiyoukai had christened it. Every five days I had paid, much to Kari's refusal, for her to deliver a letter to my father. Frankly, it puzzled me that my father did not question or even contradict my decision to continue my supposed aid to Kari's furusato.

Every message carried with it a considerable amount of yen so as not to arise any suspicion. After the Inu no Taishou found out about my messages and the money carried in each, he ordered that the money be taken from his estate. For once, I did not argue. I hated to do this, but for now it was essential. I had resolved that as soon as I returned home, I would return every single coin he gave.

Although I abhorred the idea of sleeping and awaking in youkai blood, it was all worth it when I finally reached my purpose.

I found seven priestesses hiding in a cave up the mountains. They had not been injured because of the barrier they had put up at the mouth of the cave. For the Daiyoukai's army, it had been impossible to enter without the certainty of death. But I was able to pass through it without even blinking.

They were crouched over a fire holding several sutras and magic powders which were being thrown in the fire while they chanted. I approached them stealthily enjoying the hunt. Five were at least old enough to be my great grandmothers whereas the other two could have easily passed as young average women. An older priestess turned towards the shadows where I was standing.

"KAGOME-SAMA! You have come to join us! Your – " Reaching for an arrow and placing it on the string on my bow, I let go without giving them any warning

The arrow pierced the old hag right through the throat pinning here to the wall of the cave. At once, the other miko jumped from their positions and stared at me. At first, utter surprise showed in their eyes. Anger quickly replaced it.

"YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO TAKE DOWN ONE OF YOUR OWN?! YOU SHAME ALL YOUR KIND – BOTH HUMAN AND MIKO! WHY DO YOU ALLY YOURSELF WITH THE ENEMY!" came the voice of one of the younger ones.

"You have your reasons, as I have my own. However, you should do well to remember that all of you are also in allegiance with demons. What makes you more innocent than me? As far as I'm concerned, I am not the one with human blood on my hands." I replied with a bored tone, trying to suppress my rage.

_Aahh, the irony of my last words._

"YOU WILL PAY DEARLY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!" the other young priestess gritted through her teeth and pointed at me while she continued, "I WILL KILL YOU EVEN THOUGH WE ARE SISTERS!"

They all ran to me with outstretched hands filled with their own power.

I waited until they were about two feet from me. I let out my power. Using my aura, I pinned them to the walls. I raveled in the joy of watching them been thrown back with such force that cracked their bones. I focused on keeping them all fastened without any movement. I narrowed my eyes as my aura intensified and I watched as they hissed their pain. I know I could not purify them for they were priestesses. I would someday regret what I was about to do, nevertheless...

Restraining myself from sucking the air out of their lungs with the force of my abilities I sighed, and abruptly, I let them slide brutally to the ground.

"Leave, before I change my mind." Confusion and fear reigned in their eyes, before they ran out.

The last one, which was the one that had threatened me turned around and said, "You will pay for this. If not by my hand then by the one you least expect it from. That I promise!" She ran out. _Unfortunately, I failed to realize how much her threat would cost me!_

A moment of deja vu passed over me - _a village, an arrow that missed its target flying past me and the sound of a desperate kid yelling at me to move_. I ignored her last comment and sat outside the cave entrance. I gazed out towards the battle field. It was completely void of snow and covered in severed youkai bodies.

'_Finally! It is over – finally over!'_

I closed my eyes and sent a prayer of thanks to the Kami. This was the happiest day of my life! Kirara surprised me when she jumped out from behind me.

'_Where did you come from? I thought I told you to stay at the castle protecting it?!'_

'_I got bored. Besides, I was worried about you. You've been overdoing it. Even you are not invincible and last night you worsened.' _I made an angry face, but her huge crimson eyes always made me falter.

I grabbed her in my arms and pressed my forehead to hers. _'I forget that you like to worry about me. Come on. Let's get down there and clean up so we may go home.'_

Kirara transformed into her huge neko form and took me down. She landed behind the Daiyoukai as he was sheathing his sword and wiping away green blood from his face. Turning left, he saw me and bowed.

'_What is it with the guy and bowing every ten seconds!' _asked a very confused neko_._ I chose not to answer.

"Domo arigatou, Miko-sama. My lands and my people will forever be in your debt. If there is anything you need, ever, don't hesitate to ask for it shall be granted."

"All I wish, Daiyoukai, is to return to my home and eternally rid myself of this pact we made. Look, this wasn't a social call. As soon as I'm done cleansing the area, I'm out of here. So just leave me alone for the next few hours and pretend I'm not here." I did not mean to sound like an ingrate, but I spoke the truth.

"Aahh. Indeed." The Inu no Taishou decided to back off a bit and let him continue to get used to him. He enveloped himself in a blue sphere and disappeared.

"Kirara, head up to the top of the mountain. Do not come down until I say it is safe." She lightly bumped her head with mine and flew up.

When I was sure she was a safe distance away, I sat down with my legs under me. I shut my eyes and intertwined my fingers, joining my index fingers and my thumbs to form a triangle. Taking a deep breath, I bid my power to release itself and cleanse the area.

Sweat was dropping from my forehead. It took a lot for me to stay concentrated. I had never purified an area so big. My body was weakening. I felt as if I was on fire! My power was getting out of control and...

darkness enveloped me!

_

* * *

_

It was her fault - really! She had been forced into doing her onee-san's will. No miko would willingly ally herself with youkai. It was as incredulous as fire merging with ice. Truly impossible.

_Except, she'd been all too eager to be chosen as the next keeper of the Matsushima shrine. Her onee-san had told that if she wished this, then that she would follow her, no questions asked. And like a fool, she had agreed. And when Kagome came, she felt relieve flood through her veins. The doubts she'd had about this ordeal melted away with the presence of the one she admired and hoped to be with someday._

_Then, the reality of what was happening hit her like the arrow that had killed her onee-san. An arrow that came from the hand of none other than her hero, who looked at all of them with disgust and disdain as she pinned them with her aura to the cave wall. Her words made her stomach turn and guilt gnawed at her conscious. It was too late to go back on her word now that she realized what she had gotten herself into. _

_In defense, she yelled and cursed at Kagome. But the Shikon miko simply let them go. She had spared their lives and probably saved them as well. She had shamed herself and Kagome had come with her pure light to cleanse her and give her a second chance._

_In the confines of the Matsushima shrine, she asked the Kami, that if they forgave her terrible sin, that she would dedicate her life to protecting the Soul of Light. That it would be her life's work to keeping Kagome safe and perhaps one day, save her like she had on that day._

**

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And so, I must say that this is it for now. Thank for leaving your comments and making my story one of your favorites. Please continue to review! Until next update!


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello my friendly and wonderful reviewers! Thank you for your encouragement and eagerness to continue this story! For those that have taken the time to review, thank again and for those that haven't, I wish you would.**

**I'd like to clarify something that one of my great reviewers asked about the last chapter. She wanted to know if Kagome had telekinesis. My answer to that is NO. Kagome has trained her powers immensely and therefore has learned to master her powers to unimaginable lengths. She uses her aura to "push" and "move" things around her. She CAN'T make things come to her or "throw" things at others. Her spiritual aura is like an invisible force that pushes and NOT pulls. Just wanted to make that clear if any of you guys thought the same.**

**And well, here is the next chapter. And here is what all of you have been waiting for... Sesshoumaru finally makes his entrance - albeit a bit short in this chapter. But then again that's why I'm being nice and uploading three at a time! Enjoy!**

_**

* * *

**_

For the sword outwears the sheath, and the soul wears out the breast, and the heart must pause to breathe...

_**-Lord Byron, "So We'll Go No More a Roving"**_

**CHAPTER 14**

_The Inu no Taishou landed quite a distance away, reassuring himself that this was a good spot to watch her fully release her power. She commanded the neko youkai to fly away. The instant she was convinced with her companion's safety, she sat down._

_Kagome closed her eyes and freed her powers. The field began to radiate and purify. The remains of the youkai were being dissipated and replaced with beautiful greenery that was rapidly been covered with snow. A frown crossed her face as her power began to intensify. He could tell that it was too much for her and Kagome was fighting to manage. She was starting to loose control over her powers._

_And then it happened again!_

_Her eyes opened and those silver-blue eyes looked AT him! Her parted lips showed the grown fangs. She stood up and commenced to move in his direction. But, she wasn't moving her feet. She was floating. Kagome paused, still a distance from him and smirked. _

_Raising her arms (that now had claws) and face towards the sky, she chuckled. It was not her voice, though. It sounded like the waterfalls, dangerous but calming. When the sound seized, her arms returned to her side and she glanced at him once more._

"_Daiyoukai of the West. We are glad to see you once again." _

"_Who are you?" The Inu no Taishou narrowed his eyes and strained his ears, only to catch the small chuckle that escaped her lips._

"_We are who we are. Today, however, we come to you to ask that you care for our Protector. She is lost and needs the guidance of a father. We have seen how you treat her and know that you can be that guide. This miko is special. Her power grows and her body cannot handle it. We have seen her future and know that her life is intertwined with Him who is of your lineage. Do not let Darkness take her. She is close to loosing the battle with it." The voice that escaped her lips had spoken of the miko with_ _such motherly love._

_Regaining, he answered, "How do you know I do not wish her harm? How shall I protect her until this kin of mine comes? And how will I know who He is?"_

"_You see her as your own and we know that you would give your life for her. As for your kin, He will know. For now, all you can do is keep her from harming herself. Heed our words, Daiyoukai. If Darkness over powers her, everything will be lost. She is a strong and unique being, but she is also fragile and needs guidance." With those words, the color of her eyes returned to their lavender color and the blue light that had encompassed the area returned to her body. _

_The miko collapsed with exhaustion. He reached her before she touched the ground. He looked at her face and saw the drops of sweat drip to her sides. He touched her forehead to wipe away the body water and felt her. She was burning up!_

"_Stubborn miko! You were fighting while ill. That was very stupid." He shook his head in disapproval as the words from the unknown spirit echoed in his head. "I will protect you. I promised your mother."_

_He raced across the land, heading towards his castle and the neko trailing behind. She needed treatment. At least he would be able to send her home healthy. But who was he kidding! He knew that he wanted any excuse to keep her more time in his home! She brought a warmth that no one had been able to fill since his mate had died._

_Arriving at the castle, he quickly ordered Juro to go with him and help him care for the girl. His son followed him concerned for the miko's health. The demon lord paced frantically outside the shoji door when he was kicked out by the healer. He felt like a father waiting for news of a sick daughter._

_The Inu no Taishou realized that had she not been human, she could have easily been an Inu. She was as hard-headed, proud and powerful as any member of his family. He was brought out of his daze when the door to her room was slid open._

_The rabbit youkai healer bowed and spoke, "Your miko will be fine. She simply needs to rest. Her body is exhausted. Her battle wounds are rapidly fading thanks to her spiritual powers. She will awaken in no more than two days. After that you will need to make sure she is fed well before she is allowed to leave."_

"_Arigatou, Lita."_

"_My lord, may I ask a question... about the miko?" Lita awaited the answer of the demon before she continued._

"_Hai."_

"_Well, I have seen many a miko who have been injured while fighting and, although they do heal quite fast, I have never in all my centuries, seen one that heals as fast as this girl. I also took notice of her aura. It is very strong, my lord. And her blood does not smell like that of human. Could she be part youkai? A hanyou perhaps? I have to say that she resembles Ry―" _

"_No, of that I am sure. Have you spoken to anyone about these things?"_

"_Iiee."_

"_Good. The last of your concerns is impossible. You and I both know she is the daughter of Lady Midoriko and Lord Seiya – both humans." He tried to reassure her._

"_The Cursed One, of course. Lady Midoriko also gave off a very powerful aura herself." _

"_Lita-sama, I will ask that you not tell anyone about what we have just spoken. There are many out there who would no doubt want to take advantage of her... err, abilities, whether it be true or not."_

"_You do not need to worry about that my lord. I have kept many secrets for your family and I will continue to do so." Lita smiled to him and bowed, leaving him free to enter the miko's room._

_Once inside, the Inu no Taishou went to sit by Kagome's side. She was deep in slumber. For the first time he took notice of her physical features. He knew she was still young – sixteen mortal years to be exact. She looked so much like Midoriko. There were, however, two differences between them. Kagome's hair was the color of the golden autumn leaves and her eyes were a striking lavender with a hint of grey. Her mother's hair had been a plain black and her eyes had been hazel. No doubt Kagome took after her father in those two things._

_He smiled at her unintentionally. Standing up he left her to rest and ordered Juro to stay by her side in case she should wake and need something._

* * *

When I awoke, the sun was beginning to set. My head was pounding and my throat was dry and raspy. I looked around and noted that I was still in the western lands – in the western castle. Two arms held me from sitting up. I raised my eyes and saw Juro with eyes closed, smiling.

"You seem better, my lady. I was beginning to think that you did not wish to wake."

"Don't touch me."

He stiffened at the anger in my voice. "What happened? Why am I still here?" I did not recognize my own voice. It sounded too rough.

"You had a fever. My lord brought you back and had the healer take care of you. That was two days ago." He sounded tired.

"TWO DAYS?! " I shrieked at him.

"Hai! But no need to worry. My lord has made sure that you were taken care of. He even ordered that your neko companion be fed. He was most worried and will be happy to know you are awake!"

"I did not ask for his help." A sudden wave of uneasiness overtook me. My mind flashed to a burning village. To the horrid sight of people lying dead...

Flinching at the memory, wondering why it would haunt me now. It was a reminder of what _I _was capable of, I decided, and a reminder of why I had to get away from here. I didn't want to hurt someone who had been nice to me.

Not again.

Forcing myself to forget the pain of my body, I sat up slowly. "Onegai, my lady. You are still weak. Besides you cannot leave without eating first. It has been two days since you ate."

"It is up to me to decide when I eat." I found my kosode and tabi on top of a small stand by the window. In spite of the painful protests of my muscles, I started pulling them on. My miko powers had allowed me to heal for the most part while I slept, but I wasn't in as good a shape as I could be should I allow someone to tend to the deeper wounds.

But I never did. I scared most healers as much as I scared everyone else. So, I'd learned to take my hits and deal with the pain. Which was fine by me. I didn't like people, youkai or otherwise, anywhere nearby. Life was better alone.

"Are you leaving?" His eyes were still closed.

"Nooo. I'm urinating!" I replied sarcastically.

"My eyes are closed. For all I know you really are peeing on the bed, which is a very nice bed incidentally, so I hope you are making a joke."

I felt a strange twinge of amusement at his comeback. He was fast and smart. I liked that. But I had no time to waste. "Look, youkai, I don't how or who got me here, but I appreciate it. However, I have to get going. Believe me, you'll be very sorry if I don't."

"Let me at least call my father so that he may know you are awake." He pushed himself off the floor at my hostile words and it was only then I realized I'd growled them at him.

I cursed under my breath. "Ugh... Fine! Tell the Daiyoukai that I will be going to speak to him...NOW!" I fisted my hands and glared at his now open eyes.

He moved to the door beckoning me to follow him. We walked only a few doors down. It was evident that he had been worried enough that he placed me close to his own room.

Juro lifted his hand to knock, but the Daiyoukai beat him to it and called for us to enter. He asked Juro to leave us and pointed me to a chair. I sat down, not because he commanded, but because my head was still swirling.

Silence.

He spoke first. "I am glad you are feeling better. I know you wish to leave and I will not hold you here any longer than necessary. I just ask that you eat first and wait until morning when your strength returns to you. Is that alright with you hime?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and pondered on his request. He had a point. Although I did wish to leave, I still wasn't strong enough and I was so hungry I could probably eat an entire horse! I looked at him and stood up.

"While I'm not an ingrate, I do not wish to stay here any longer. I kept my end. There is nothing more for me to do. Now I can return home and die."

Taken aback by my response, he asked, "Does your life truly have no value or meaning to you?

"No, it doesn't."

"Then why haven't you killed yourself?"

I snorted at that. "Why should I? The only enjoyment I have in life is knowing I anger everyone around me. If I were dead, it would make them all happy. Kami, forbid I should ever do that."

To my surprise, he laughed. "I wish I could see inside you to know if you were joking or not."

"Trust me, I'm not."

"Then I'm sorry for you. I wish you had something that made you happy."

I looked away from him. Happy. I didn't even understand that word. It was as alien to me as kindness. Compassion.

Love.

Now there was a word that never entered my vocabulary. I couldn't imagine what others feel.

All I knew was hatred, anger. It was the only thing that kept me warm. The only thing that kept me living. So longs as I hated, I had reason to live.

"You do not - " I lifted my hand to interject.

"Please," he could probably see that this was something very hard for me to do for I was not used to apologizing for my actions. I bowed my head and continued almost in a whisper, "I know I can be very stubborn, but I assure you I meant no disrespect. You have been hospitable and honorable, traits that I never thought to witness in a youkai. I see that your reason for going to war was to protect those who live in your lands and you could have easily disregarded the human villages, but you didn't. I wish to keep a simple truce."

He said nothing.

And when I could not stand the quiet any longer, I lifted my head, only to see him, for I had not heard him, come directly towards me. He embraced me and held me tight.

I did not do anything because I was too shocked at what he had done. And when I took in what had just happened, I awkwardly patted his back. It frightened me that I felt something I hadn't felt in years.

He pulled away from me slowly and kissed my forehead. "You are most welcome, Kagome-sama. This is your home and you may return whenever you please!"

"I can assure you, Inu no Taishou, that I will never be returning here." I answered coldly and kept my blank face as I left the room. _Oh, how wrong I was on that statement!_

His baritone voice stopped me between the door and the hall. "Keiji (cautious ruler)," he corrected. "My friends call me Keiji."

_

* * *

_

When the young prince reached the Crescent Moon, the moon was shining brightly above it. The battle had been over for five days already and he had been eager to congratulate his father. The castle had been untouched by the war. Everything still looked as amazing as it had been two months ago. Upon entering the castle, the servants quickly stopped what they were doing and bowed to him. He recognized his friend whom he had not seen since the war had ended.

"_Juro, where's father?"_

"_He's bathing in his spring. Do you wish for me to inform him of your arrival?" he asked._

"_Iiee. I am sure he knows. I will wait for him in his study." He headed for his chambers to change before meeting with his father. _

_Entering his room, he changed into a fresh and clean garment, and went in search of his sire. Opening the door to the study, he found his father had gotten there before him. Bowing, he smiled at him and went to stand out on the balcony to gaze at the moon._

"_So, what brings you back so soon? I thought that perhaps you wished to stay a bit longer at the Kuroi Hoshi."_

"_I simply came to congratulate you on your victory!" he was now facing the Daiyoukai, but still leaning on the balcony rail._

"_I may be old, Sesshoumaru, but I am no idiot. By the look of disappointment on your face, I can tell that while that may be a reason for your presence, it is not the only one you came all this way!" He smirked at this – a hint of mischief on his face._

_Surely he knew such a feeble excuse would not pass by his father. "Hai. I was also hoping to thank the miko for her aid. Is she still in the castle? I do not sense her?" The prince was honest in that he wished to thank her, but more than anything, he wanted to see her. Ujio had hinted at he physical attributes and he wanted to confirm his statement. Kami knew he hadn't always been the most tasteful youkai!_

"_No. She left two days ago." Much to his displeasure, the prince smiled._

_He changed the subject, telling his father of what had occurred on his side of the battle. They spent most of the night and dinner talking. After dinner, the young demon excused himself and made his way to his room. _

_As soon as he slid his door open, an intoxicating scent that had escaped him earlier invaded his nose. The wonderful smell almost dropped him to his knees. It was a scent unlike he had ever smelled before. It was a mixture of lilies and something very... what was the word for it?_

_Arousing. Yes, that was the word._

_He walked in closing the door behind him, afraid to let the scent out. He sat on his futon and was amazed to find that his sheets smelled the same. He dug his nose in the silk material and found an unearthly calmness sink into him that was gradually drifting him into sleep._


	16. Chapter 16

_**Thy form appears through night, through day, awake with it my fancy teems, in sleep, it smiles in fleeting dreams; The vision charms the hours away, and bids me curse Aurora's ray; For breaking slumbers of delight, which make me wish of endless night.**_

_**-Lord Byron, "To a Beautiful Quaker"**_

**CHAPTER 15**

I stopped at every village in the western territories on my way back – six in total. I stayed no more than two days in each furusato helping the ill and rebuilding the homes that had been affected by the war. Kirara was a huge help in the latter. While also staying there, I took time to inquire about the views of the villagers on the demon lord. Most of them were neither positive nor negative. Everyone told me that he did not bother them and preferred to avoid human contact.

On the eighteenth day since my departure from the western castle, I reached my destination. I thought that seeing my own castle would make me feel better, but the truth was that it didn't. I was grateful to be among Father, Lana and Hiro, but something was missing.

Tossing the thought aside, I nodded to Lana in acknowledgement. She notified me that my father had left to another village to attend a celebration in his honor. Hiro, however, had remained on his orders, to await my return. I found him yelling at some guard. I walked up to him and he smiled when he saw me. Before I could say anything, he tried to hug me.

Unfortunately for him, my reaction was not one he would have expected. I took one of his outstretched arms and twisted it behind his back. He yelped in surprise.

"Oh, gomen, Kagome-chan! I was just too excited! I have missed you very much!" He managed to squeak through the pain. Lana was giggling in the background.

I let go and for a minute there I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes. "Feelings are a weakness. It's best that you work on ridding yourself of them. A samurai can never afford such trivialities. And let me remind you that I abhor the idea of being touched by anyone." Hiro seemed hurt but my words but simply nodded.

"Hai. So what was the illness?" He looked at me while walking back into the castle.

"Hmm?...Oh! It was... ah... something I still can't name. I did find the cure though." He caught me off guard for a second. Kami, he did not deserve my lies! But if he knew the truth, he would never approve and would certainly go tell my father.

**

* * *

**

1204 A.D. EARLY MARCH

I quickly settled into my old routine. Villages kept sending there messengers and I kept lending my aid. Every night I would look up into the dark sky and my thoughts traveled back to the western castle. I had felt so much peace there. Ironic how I would find such calm amidst youkai.

Smirking to myself, I lied down and slipped into sleep. I very seldom slept. It was more of a napping. Mainly because my dreams never allowed me to sleep long enough. The past haunted me too much to give me peace, and while unconscious, I couldn't keep those memories away.

Hiro, who now more than ever, refused to leave my presence, was already fast asleep in the next room. His snoring could probably be heard on the entire house we were being given refuge in! Tomorrow we would be returning to Kamakura and I would be making arrangements to deliver the money the Daiyoukai had lent me.

We awoke the next morning to the incessant chatter of young women outside our rooms. Apparently this particular village was in the midst of celebration. The daimyo's son had chosen a wife and they would be marrying this day. They had invited us to stay. Hiro was more than happy to oblige. His nagging was something that I did not want to put up with for the rest of the trip so I agreed.

During the day, the entire village was preoccupied with the arrangements for the wedding. Although I did wish them the best, festivities were not my area of expertise. I took the opportunity to escape into the nearby forest and find a nice spring to relax. Again, Hiro wanted to accompany me but I refused. I reassured him that I would only be a while. Reluctantly he agreed.

When I found the perfect spot, I quickly rid myself of my clothing and lowered myself in the warm water. It felt wonderful to my stiff bones! I submerged my entire body and swam underwater. Kirara found her own spot on a tree branch watching over me.

I immersed, but only to my neck. I laid back on a smooth rock and covered my face with a wash cloth. I thought of all the things that had happened in the past months. Turning so I was laying a top a rock with my upper back exposed, I took in a deep breath and sighed. My mind kept going back to the tapestry that depicted the Daiyoukai's family. The woman, I knew was dead and had been for a while. But, the young youkai was probably alive. He probably was much older by now, with a family of his own. Who knows?

There was one thing that had kept me thinking about that precise demon. His golden eyes. Those eyes that seemed to burn into my very soul. It frightened me and at the same time it made me feel excited. Strange how the Daiyoukai's eyes were the same color, yet they did not provoke the same feeling in me.

What troubled me more were the dreams I had had since I left the Crescent Moon. Dreams that now and then replaced my nightmares. I had not told anyone about these dreams. They had felt so real. At first, they were random flashes – nothing I could really make out. Gradually, they became real images of places, but more importantly, they became figures. There was one figure in specific that kept me dreaming even after I awoke.

As I relaxed in the spring, I reminisced on that first encounter...

**THE DREAM**

There was darkness at first. I knew that I was no longer in my room. Slowly, but surely, I started to distinguish objects. I was sitting with my back to a wall. By the way the light shone brightly, I realized it was shortly past noon. I was sitting in the middle of a dense forest. The place before me seemed familiar. _I've been here before._ Yet for the life of me, I couldn't remember where "here" was. I glanced down at my body when I felt the wind. I was wearing a chihaya, but it was different. The shirt was white with green patterns at the wrists. The pants were also of the same green. _How strange!_

My head suddenly snapped in the direction of footsteps coming towards me. I quickly stood and used my powers to detect who it was that approached. To my surprise, my powers felt so limited and all I could catch from the oncoming figure was a certain "familiarity". In some manner, the feeling brought more suspicion to my mind than ease. I realized that there was no point in getting worked up until I could actually see them.

I stood with my guard up.

As the figure came closer, the entire area seemed to darken, enclosing it in a veiled light. There was still no threat in its presence, only hesitation. I heard 'its' breathing. It was rapid and the moment felt awkward. I was surprised in myself when I acknowledged that I did not wish any harm to come to this being.

And out of nowhere, it spoke. "It's really you," _he_ whispered disbelievingly. His aura reached out to me and my knees trembled.

_His _words resounded in my lost soul. _His _voice was like a song to my heart. It was as if I'd been waiting for him. My body felt warm and alive for once in many years. _I knew this person_. One way or another, I knew exactly who this person was. I racked my brain for a face - a name - but I came up short.

"Kagome?" he whispered again. I'd never heard my name sound so good and perfect. "Why are you _here_?"

_That's what I wanted to know. And where IS here?_

My mouth was dry. I couldn't find any words. It was as if I'd suddenly lost my voice. Swallowing hard, I looked at him. I squinted my eyes. "Who are you?"

He cocked his head. Then, half-growling, half whimpering, he stepped closer. There was just enough light to catch the silver hue of his wavy hair, his black brows, and his amber eyes. His gaze was skeptical. "What the hell do you mean 'who am I'?!" There was hurt laced in every word.

Involuntarily, guilt washed over me. _Was I supposed to know him? Was the fact that I couldn't remember him, the reason why felt so compelled to run up to him and touch him? To reassure him that I didn't mean to hurt him by my words?_ I stopped myself at the thought. I'd never had any compulsion to touch anyone, much less have anyone touch me. But to feel the touch of his skin one more time...

Again I was confused. _Once more?_ Did I really know this man or whatever he was? There was something inhuman about this male before me. "Do you know me?"

He walked towards me until he was just a few steps away. He stretched out his hand. I looked at it. He had claws. _He was a youkai._

Before I could stop myself, I put my hand in his. It was something I would have never done in real life. Only in a dream would I have dared to let someone touch me. His skin was so warm that it burned me. He pulled me into his arms and held me close. I took in the novelty of a hug, the sensation of his rippled chest against my breasts. His breath on my neck. _So this was what a hug felt like. Hot. Soothing. Miraculous._

Human contact had been so limited in my life that all I could do was close my eyes and just feel the warmth of his body surround me. The firmness of him. He inhaled sharply and I felt relief and so many other sweet emotions that tore through him.

_Was this acceptance?_

_Was this nirvana?_

I didn't know for sure. But for once, I didn't want to wake up from this dream.

He cupped my face in his hand and pressed his cheek to mine. Oh the feeling of his flesh touching mine...

He was soft. I'd never imagined anyone being soft like this. So tender and inviting. The warmth of his cheek on mine thawed me out. Even my heart that had been encased by ice for what seemed centuries. He trembled at the sensation of my finger on his cheek. His unexpected tenderness tore through me. I'd seen enough of his life to know gentleness was not something he had experience with and yet he held me so carefully.

_There it was again! The sensation of familiarity!_

"You're so warm," he breathed in my ear. His hot breath tickled my neck, and sent chills all over me.

He pulled back and stared at me as if I was unspeakably precious to him. He brushed the back of his knuckles against my jaw. His eyes were so dark and tormented while he stared at me, as if unable to believe I was with him.

His gaze uncertain, he touched my lips with the tip of his forefinger. "I've never been kissed before." His eyes snapped back up to mine.

My confession stunned me more than it stunned him. Why would I even confide in him something so deep within me? He looked down at me, in confusion at first.

Fire sparked in his eyes. "I want to taste you, Kagome. I want to feel you again. To look into your eyes while you're complaining about every damn thing."

I shivered at his crudeness. It was what I expected from him.

_Expected?_

I was completely unprepared for the passion of his kiss. The ferocity of it. It was both rough and tender. Demanding. Hot. Sweet. Then he pulled apart leaving me dizzy.

_Damn!_

With redden eyes, he stared at me. His breathing was ragged. "Come back to me Kagome..."

I was still spinning from his kiss that I didn't notice when everything dimmed and my dream came to an end.

**END OF DREAM**

Needless to say, I awoke startled and confused. I stayed awake after I bolted up in my bed. My fingers covered my lips. What the hell kind of dream was that? More importantly...

Who the hell was that?

_Maybe my mind was suffering from stress_...

Several dreams followed that one. Every single dream, for the past two months involved _him_ and me in different places but always the same ending. The "nightly visitor" would plead my return and leave me feeling awkwardly empty after each dream. Still, I could not understand why these dreams had begun. All I knew was that those amazing amber eyes made me weak in the knees.

Kirara's growls interrupted my train of thoughts. I jumped out of the water and managed to get my black cloak, pulling the hood over my head, covering my nose and eyes. It was a good thing I had left my susuyoke and juban on while bathing. I searched with my power for the intruder or intruders. Had I not been daydreaming, I might have noticed this earlier.

I found him. A strong youki, but not enough to worry.

"Show yourself demon." I ordered. "Kirara, stay back there." I yelled to her when I realized she was hissing in the direction of the youkai.

A smooth, profound timbre from behind the trees replied, "Don't be foolish miko. I was only passing through. You would do well to show the proper respect for a prince. Stand down."

"Hah!" I rebutted. I was in no mood to deal with pesky demons. Mentally, I knew this demon would put up a good fight, but I sincerely didn't feel like purify any thing today. I picked up Kirara and turned in the direction of the village.

"You dare to turn your back on me!" His voice came out in shock and disbelief.

I paused in my walk but did not face him. Apparently this demon was a prince and a haughty one at that. _Even more of a reason to ignore him. _I did not wish to entangle myself in a stupid argument with whomever youkai clan he belonged to. I pressed on my path. He moved fast and the next thing I knew, he had me pinned to a tree with his claws around my neck. Kirara was thrown on a nearby bush.

Turning, I looked at her and ordered silently for her to stay.

"Miko, you will show me the respect due to the Prince of the Western Lands!" he hissed at me. His face was inches from mine.

I glared at him. _How dare he?! This stupid youkai would die for this!_ I could already feel the tiny beads of blood escaping through the slits his claws made at my neck.

"If you wish respect, then give it. You are in my lands! What right do you have to pass through here? Or is it that you are so 'lacking' in demoness companions that you would lower yourself to spying on ningen females while they bathe?!" I punched his chin on his right side and succeeded in pushing his face away from me.

"_Your lands?_!" He looked at me disbelievingly but quickly recovered. "And as for your last comment, I am more than capable of finding pleasure and actual beauty in real females. Not in heap of bones and flesh from a disgusting ningen." disbelief was marked in his words.

I released the smallest amount of power in me. He jumped back and growled at me. His hand was burned! He narrowed his eyes. It was at that moment when I almost wavered.

'_Kami, it couldn't possibly be, could it?_ _Could_ _this demon be him? No! It was too much of a coincidence. Did he say he was a prince? Of the Western Lands?'_ My mind was racing with a million thoughts.

My breaths came out in short gasps as I felt the earth move from under my feet. Regaining my composure, I raised my chin and moved to him.

"I warn you miko. You are an unguarded female. Stay back if you value your life." His retreating steps went against the words that had just left his lips.

"A female like me needs no protection. I could easily kill you. But I thank you for your concern and the decency to remind me of my lack of escort while alone!" I wanted my sarcasm to burn in his brainless skull.

I sneered at him and picked up my pace. He could not move due to the force I used to pin him to a nearby tree. "I will let you live... for now. Tell the Inu no Taishou he will do well to teach his baka sons some manners and appreciation for sparing two out of three of his sons' lives. I do not take offense to my person lightly, prince. LEAVE. AND. NEVER. COME. BACK!" My control was beginning to break loose. The trees, including the one which I was pinning him to, were starting to crack. "And just for your information, you sorry excuse for a prince... you should remember that women could also be as dangerous as men!"

Whirling him to my right, I called back my power. I yelled for Kirara and she answered by transforming for me. I got on her back and glanced once more at the demon. He was barely getting up. I realized I had used too much power, for he was shaking his head.

Looking up at me, I noticed his anger returned. "This Sesshoumaru will not forget your insult!"

Mocking his tone I retorted, "_This miko_ could care less." Kirara took this as a motion to leave and flew away.

'_Could you please stop pacing? You're making me dizzy?'_

'_Then go somewhere else!' _I yelled.

'_I'm not a pet, Kagome, and I don't care for that commanding tone. I stay with you by my choice, not yours.'_

Stopping my movements, I glanced at her. I sighed and sat on the grass for the first time since we came back. _'I know, Kirara.'_ That was as close to any apology and we both knew it.

'_Why are you so restless?'_ She came to sit on my lap.

'_I'm not sure yet. I have this feeling. I just...'_ I looked down at her. _'I just have this...something is going to happen. I don't know if it's good or bad. All I know is that it's going to change things somehow.'_

She laid her head in my lap. _'It's called life. Besides, you've never cowered from anything. If didn't know better, I'd say you most probably will come out of it fine.'_

'_Yeah.'_ Neither of us believed that.

_

* * *

_

At the very moment, the subject had been closed for discussion. He paced in his room and was beside himself with rage. Sesshoumaru leaned back against the wall, regarding his sake with a thoughtful expression as he swirled it about. He remembered the recent argument with his father.

_**FLASHBACK**__ (A/N: this is a LOOONG flashback so sit back)_

_The Inu no Taishou looked at his son with astonishment. He knew that this topic would have to arise soon. Yet he never thought that Sesshoumaru would agree to his decision. Quite frankly, he had considered the possibility of denial._

"_Are you sure that you do not wish to contest my request?"_

_The demon prince let the indignity pass without comment. He was all aware that his sudden acceptance had come as a bit of surprise. Well, perhaps more than a bit. "Complete,", "total" and "utter" were words that came to mind._

_Sesshoumaru knew that he did not fit the image of a male who had settling down on his mind. He'd spent the last four decades as the worst sort of rake, taking pleasure where he may. For all he knew, life for a demon was certainly meant to be enjoyed. Oh, he'd had a certain code of honor. He never dallied with well-bred young female demons. Anyone who might have any right to demand mating was strictly off-limits._

_As for the sort of female youkai – the widows and entertainers who knew what they wanted and what they were getting into – he enjoyed their company and enjoyed it well. Since the day he was 'mature enough', he'd not been without a mistress._

_Sometimes he thought wryly, he'd not been without two!_

_He used these last decades in a mindful pursuit of pleasure, tempered only by his overwhelming sense of responsibility to his family._

_As he grew closer to his two hundred and fourth year, Sesshoumaru realized that he was spending more and more time tending to his heritage and family and less and less in his old pursuit of decadence and pleasure. And he'd realized that he like it that way. He still kept a mistress, but never more than one at a time, and he discovered that he no longer felt the need to enter every youkai squabble or stay late at a festivity._

_His reputation, of course, stayed with him. He didn't mind that, actually. There were certain benefits to being thought Nihon's most reprehensible demon rake. He was nearly universally feared, for example. That was always a good thing._

_But now it was time for a mate. Sesshoumaru ought to settle down, have a pup. He had a title that would one day pass to him and him to his pup. He was the first born Inu of a firstborn Inu of a firstborn Inu eight times over. He had a dynastic responsibility to be fruitful and multiply._

_Being a discerning and somewhat organized demon, he'd made a mental list of requirements for the position. First, she ought to be reasonably attractive. She needn't be a raving beauty (although that would be nice), but if he was going to have to bed her, he figured a bit of attraction ought to make the job more pleasant._

_Second, she couldn't be stupid. This, Sesshoumaru mused, might be the most difficult of his requirements to fill. He was not universally impressed by the mental prowess of Nihon's available female youkai. The last time he made the mistake of engaging a young demoness fresh out of her home in conversation, she'd been unable to discuss anything other than food (she had a plate of cherries in her claw at the time) and the weather (and she hadn't even gotten THAT right; when Sesshoumaru had asked if she thought the weather was going to __**turn inclement**__, she'd replied, "I'm sure I don't know. I've never traveled as far as __**Clement**__.")_

_He might be able to _**avoid**_ conversation with a mate who was less than brilliant, but he did __**NOT**__ want _**stupid**_ pups._

_Third – and this was the most important – she couldn't be anyone with whom he might actually love._

_He wasn't a complete cynic; he knew that true love existed. Anyone who'd ever been in the same room with his parents knew that true love existed. He just did not wish for his life to be visited by that particular miracle._

_Taking a glimpse towards his father, he responded, "Iiee. I have thought this through myself. I have even found the perfect mate." _

"_Oh really? And who is the lucky demoness?" Inu no Taishou was even more intrigued as to how far Sesshoumaru had considered this._

"_Lady Michiru."_

"_Lady Michiru? Daughter of the Southern Lord? Of the wolf clan?" Was his son serious?_

"_Hai, chichiue. She is attractive, intelligent and knows how to behave. In addition, a union between our two clans would assure expansion of our territories, among other things." _

"_I am in the midst of preparing a feast to celebrate our recent victory and we will take advantage and invite the Southern Lord and his family. Then we shall make your intentions known." _

"_Do you think Lord Fatsu will oppose my proposal?"_

"_If he is smart, he will not. Do not worry. All will fall in place." The Inu no Taishou walked over to the balcony where his son stood._

"_This will also be an excellent opportunity to invite Lady Kagome back!" He added._

_The prince choked on his last words and turned horror filled eyes to his sire. "WHAT?! You cannot be serious chichi-ue! She has nothing more to do here. Besides, she will be human amongst youkai. They will probably kill her!"_

"_You're overreacting Sesshoumaru. All the attending youkai know her from the battle. She will be my guest and no one will dare lay a claw on her."_

"_Demo, chichi-ue―" He wanted any excuse to get that insufferable girl not to come._

"_She. Will. Come. That is my final answer. Now leave. I wish to make the list of guests and send the invitations as soon as possible. The feast will be held in three weeks time." And that was that._

_He couldn't believe it. He would have to stand the presence of the psycho-miko in his own home and there was nothing he could do._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

_Sesshoumaru cursed. He would think of a way to make Kagome's stay at the Crescent Moon a time she would never forget! He was pondering on ways he could humiliate her. He didn't need to know her. From what Ujio had mentioned, he already hated her._

_After his brief encounter with the mysterious miko, whom he could not see due to the cloak that shadowed her face, he was left alone in the forest taking his frustration on the trees. He had succeeded in shredding the entire forest. _

'_I'll find out who you are and together with that other stupid miko, I will make sure you both regret knowing me.'_

_But, then again, Kami, the girl in the springs was exquisite! 'Wait, what the hell was he thinking? She had disrespected him!'_

_Still, Sesshoumaru was not one to deny the obvious. In the moments, before the neko had made him out, he was practically drooling over her. She was ethereal! He'd seen in his life time many beautiful females, but she was beyond comparison. Though she had her face covered with a cloth, his inu eyes could make out her form through the crystal clear water. Her body was curved in all the right places. Her light brown hair was highlighted with the sun's rays that seeped through the tree branches._

_Her lips were the lightest shade of pink... and very kissable!_

_Had the neko not growled, he would have jumped in with her and ravished her there! And now fully aware of her female guiles, he also became aware of something that had escaped him earlier. Her scent! _

_The lilies and kuchinashi scent (for he now could name the foreign flower) that had filled his room was hers. This meant that she had been in his room and probably slept in his futon while staying here!_

_Hopefully, without any kind of clothing! _

_Oh, Kami! When had he lusted after a female, a human nonetheless? It had always been the other way around. And how the hell had __**she**__ gotten into his room. Unless her scent had somehow managed to impregnate itself in his clothing. Yes! That was the reason he smelled her._

_And yet... he would continue with his previous plan. He would not harm her, for it was below him to bring harm against a female. However, he would teach both of them a lesson!_

_Content with his tactics, he slipped into his sheets and let the fascinating scent drift him into sleep. Little did he know that that would only fuel his erotic dreams._


	17. Chapter 17

_**Surely experience might have told me, that all must love thee who behold thee.**_

_**-Lord Byron, "To a Woman"**_

**CHAPTER 16**

**1204 A.D. LATE MARCH**

_The past weeks had been spent tiding up the palace for the arrival of the guests. Word had traveled fast about the celebration's real intent: Sesshoumaru's mate. Most guests had already made the assumption that he would choose Lady Michiru; while others presumed he would surprise everyone with this appointed mate._

_His father had been traveling up and down patrolling his lands and overseeing his trading deal, leaving Sesshoumaru to deal with the hassles of the feast. The Inu no Taishou was barely at the palace half a day at a time and had therefore to notice the fowl mood Sesshoumaru had been in the entire time._

_He'd fallen asleep quickly upon returning home one evening. It was only a day and half until the feast. He stripped naked and soaked in his hot spring for nearly an hour, trying to remove the frustration from his bones. _

_After his bath he crawled into his futon, not particularly caring that it was still light outside, and would be for a good hour yet. He was angry, and he had every intention of falling into a deep, dreamless sleep, not to be awakened until the first streaks of dawn touched the morning._

_But sometime in the night, his body had grown restless and hungry. And his treacherous mind had filled with the most awful of images. He watched it as if floating near the ceiling, and yet he felt everything – his body, naked, moving over a lithe female form; his hands stroking and squeezing warm flesh. The delectable tangle of arms and legs, the musky scent of two bodies in love – it had all been there, hot and vivid in his mind._

_And then he shifted. Just the tiniest bit, perhaps to kiss the faceless female's ear. Except as he moved to the side, she was no longer so anonymous. First appeared a thick lock of light brown hair, softly flowing and tickling at his shoulder; then he moved even farther..._

_And he saw her (well not exactly since he had yet to see her face)._

_The mysterious miko. He just knew it was her!_

_He awakened in an instant, sitting bolt upright in his futon and shaking from the horror of it. It had been the most vivid erotic dream he'd ever experienced. And his worst nightmare._

_He felt frantically around the sheets with one of his claws, terrified that he'd find the proof of his passion. Kami help him if he'd actually ejaculated while dreaming of quite the most awful woman of his acquaintance. Thankfully, his sheets were clean, and so, with beating heart and heavy breath, he laid back against his pillow, his movements slow and careful, as if that would somehow prevent a recurrence of the dream._

_Sesshoumaru stared at the ceiling for hours, first conjugating verbs in the inu language, then counting to a thousand, all in an attempt to keep his brain on anything but the mysterious miko or Minamoto Kagome. _

'_Wait! Why the hell did he think of the other miko?!" _

_Hours later..._

_And amazingly, he'd exorcised both miko's images from his brain and fallen asleep._

_But now, the psycho-hunter was back. Here. In his home. It was a terrifying thought. _

_The sound of music drifted under his door, discordant and jumbled, no doubt the warm up of the musicians his servants had hired. Sesshoumaru stood and straightened his shoulders, aware that he probably looked as if he were girding himself for battle. Hell, that's how he felt. Maybe, if he was lucky, he'd be able to avoid Kagome entirely. He couldn't imagine that she would go out of her way to engage him in conversation. She had made it abundantly clear that she held him in just as much esteem as he did her. Ujio told him he'd overheard the hime talking to some servant about the disgust he felt for him, even though she hadn't met him._

_Yes, that's exactly what he would do. Avoid her. How difficult could that be?_

* * *

Lana had made it perfectly clear that we would go to the function the Daiyoukai had asked me to attend. There was no way that she would pass the opportunity to thank the Inu no Taishou for his care while I was with him. Frankly, this puzzled me for I certainly never thought she would ever thank a demon for anything. However, after spending an entire day arguing with her, she made me cave in.

I also knew that the reason she wanted to attend was to probably beat the crap out of the blessed prince. I made the mistake of telling her of our little interlude in the hot springs. Lana had almost fallen off her horse when she realized that he'd most probably seen me naked. And had she not brought this up, I had not thought about it.

And so, the first day of that week I found myself packed and heading towards the western castle. I wore my usual chihaya and had decided to wear the same kind of clothing to the event, but Lana adamantly refused and had packed some kimono with the rest of my things. I had yet to see it. As for my father, Lana told him that we were going to visit the burial ground of my sensei. He hadn't objected on the condition that Hiroyaki accompany us. With no time to argue, we accepted and Lana was already devising a plan to leave him in some nearby village.

Without doubt, she did as she pleased. When we were getting close to the western lands, we stopped at a small inn to eat and Lana slipped some liquid into Hiro's soup. The poor guy was out with a stomach ache instantly. She told him we could not wait for him to recover if we wished to return quickly to the castle in a week's time. And so, we left him and continued.

Arriving early and thankfully before any other guests, I was escorted by Juro to a guest room. He was overjoyed that I had decided to come back.

"My chichi-ue leaves his apologies for not greeting you personally, but he had to tend to some business on the borders of his land. He did, however, leave orders to accommodate you and your guest. He also commanded that you not go down to the feast until he came for you."

I nodded. "This is Lana."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Lady Lana. I am Juro and will be your personal escort throughout your five-day stay here." He curtly bowed.

"Nonsense! Do not address me like I'm some stuck up female! I am a servant. Just Lana will be fine!" Lana turned and began unpacking our clothes.

Juro chuckled and replied, "Very well, Lana." He looked at me once more and spoke. "Lady Kagome – "

"Kagome." I didn't answer at first. I couldn't believe I'd said that.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Just Kagome." I watched from the corner of my eye as he stared at me from his stance outside the shoji.

"She must like you," Lana whispered to him. "She never lets anyone address her without the title." All Juro did was smile and turn to me once more.

"Will you need my assistance for anything else, Kagome?"

"No." But before he reached the door I called him back. "Who will be attending this celebration?" I queried in a bored tone.

"I believe that the other two Daiyoukai and there families will be making an appearance. There will also be some lesser youkai and some inu family acquaintances. Oh, and that's right!" he put a hand to his head scratching it. "Prince Sesshoumaru will also be here. After all, what would tonight be without him?!" He bowed and exited.

Needless to say, I was pacing the room. The last rays of the sun were peaking through the window, announcing the beginning of the feast. I had watched as carriage by carriage arrived at the gate and families of youkai entered the castle. Some of them lifted their noses and took in the different smell. I was more than positive that they had caught my scent. Many of the youkai I recognized from the latest battle, whereas others were complete strangers.

I was an absolute nerve wreck. The fact that I was wearing a kimono for the first time after twelve years did not make things easier. Add to that, that I was also wearing my hair up in an intricate bun held with garnet combs and a light clear fruit gloss on my lips. Of course, I had argued incessantly with Lana about the latter, but she never listened to me when it came to these things. Sometimes I allowed her to have her way, if only to shut her up.

A light knock stopped me in my tracks.

"Enter." The Inu no Taishou stepped in.

He wore a heavily brocaded, blood-colored hitatare that consisted of a kimono-like top and short trouser. The high, wide neck collar and wide sleeves outlined his strong form.

"Lady Kagome, may I be so bold as to say you look timeless." He smiled from ear to ear.

I stilled, trying to hide my blush. "..."

Extending his arm towards me, "Shall we?"

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I know! I know! You guys probably want to kill me right now. I shouldn't leave it here. It feels like a cliffy, doesn't it? Well, it sort-of, technically is. But you guys know that I don't do it to torture you! I do it to keep you coming back! Keep reviewing! Ja mata!


	18. Chapter 18

**Yeah! It's Kagome's Birthday (according to her date of birth date in the story)! So in honor of this 'joyous occasion' I've decided to be EXTREMELY nice and give you a few more chapters. Enjoy them! It'll be a while before I update.**

**Kiyota, my wonderful beta, thank you so much for continuing to support me. I don't mention you often but I hope that you know that without your initial support, readers wouldn't have been able to see my work.**

**Oh, and to those of you who have come to love my "dark and psycho-miko", and who have recently complained about her easily swaying to Lana:**

**1.) I appreciate the love for this Kagome, but one must keep in mind that just like all characters in stories, she will evolve - for the good or bad of her and others is something that you will eventually see.**

**2.) Her being nice every once in a blue moon will be an issue. Remember that most angry and hateful people tend to push others away because they know nothing outside these two feelings.**

**3.) And on that note, like all people, Kagome doesn't know how to deal with anything other than darkness. Think of Inu Yasha. He's always so inconsiderate and grouchy, but is easily brought down, as soon as Kagome cries. Kagome has the same issue with Lana. Lana is the only one who's shown her some form of love and though Kagome refuses to accept it, she can respect it.**

**4.) In the end, just know, that Kagome will be Kagome (as far as her personality in my story).**

**And, above all, Kagome will come to know a world of emotions and people she's never encountered, thus conflicting her emotions and behavior. It is only natural that at some level, she'll react like any other "normal" seventeen year old. Hopefully you will see that.**

_**

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She walks in beauty, like the night

_**of cloudless climes and starry skies;**_

_**And all that's best of dark and bright**_

_**Meet in her aspect and her eyes.**_

_**-Lord Byron, "She Walks in Beauty"**_

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CHAPTER 17

"_May I have your attention? Announcing the Inu no Taishou, Daiyoukai of the Western Lands and his guest Lady Kagome, Princess of Nippon." _

_Everyone seized what they were doing and turned their gaze towards the two figures that had just appeared at the entrance of the huge garden and bowed reverently. Gasps, mainly from the female demons, were heard across the field when they realized the accompanying female was human. _

_Trying to break the silence, the Inu no Taishou addressed his guests. "It is an honor to welcome every single one of you into my home. We are here today to celebrate two joyous events. The first reason for celebration is the defeat of the Eastern enemy, Lord Otoya, by the hands of Lady Kagome." He half-circled to the miko and continued, "It is because of her that we can stand here today victorious."_

_Rotating to face his guests once more he spoke, "And the second reason, and for me, a more important motive for celebration, is the choosing of my son's mate. So, please, enjoy the evening and later my son will be making his announcement."_

_Kagome almost fainted at those last words. Fortunately, the music began to play and the humming of the youkai told her that they did not notice the color leave her face._

_Several demoness came to surround the Daiyoukai and the miko, wanting to know about her, being that she was human. She tried to answer their questions as politely and accurately as possible. Seeing how uncomfortable she felt, the Inu no Taishou excused himself taking her with him._

"_You seem tense. Is everything alright?" Lana's voice came from behind her._

"_Lana. This is Inu no Taishou-sama. Inu no Taishou-sama this is Lana." She motioned for her handmaid. The inu-youkai let pass the retreating step in their almost-friendship._

_Bowing to Lana, he spoke, "Hajimemashite (how do you do?). It is a pleasure to once again see you Lana-san. The years have been very kind to you." To this Kagome, raised a brow and faced Lana._

"_Fine, my lord. It has been years since our last encounter. Arigatou." She responded with a smile. "Would it be too much of a burden to speak to you in private?"_

"_Certainly not. What about?" _

"_Your heir." _

_The Inu no Taishou furrowed his brows, but accepted, leading Lana to a more secluded_ _corner. Kagome was about to protest but a light tap on her shoulder stopped her. She twisted to her right, ready to purify whoever it was that had made contact, only to see a beautiful dark-haired wolf demoness smiling at her._

"_Kon ba wa. Lady Kagome, may I have a word with you?"_

_Kagome frowned. Part of her wanted to join her, but she'd never been one for idle conversation. She didn't know how to make small conversation. Before she realized it, she answered, "Er, Hai." The miko pointed to a secluded area in the gardens. Stealing a glance back, she sighed in disappointment. No Sesshoumaru. 'WHOA! HAVE GOT TO STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!' She berated herself._

_Once in the security of the night, the wolf demoness stood in front of the famous miko. "I have heard great things from my father about you, Lady Kagome. That is why I wished to speak to you. I...," fidgeting with her hair, "... I hoped you could offer some advice."_

_Surprise was a not exactly the word Kagome could use to describe what she just thought she heard. Straightening herself, she looked into the female's eyes._

"_I do not know why you would want my council, Lady...?"_

"_Oh, sumimasen, Lady Kagome! I am Lady Michiru, daughter to Lord Fatsu of the Southern Lands." She moved and sat next to the miko. The miko cringed at the nearness._

"_Is everything all right? It's as if my being close bothered you?" The she-wolf looked concerned at the miko. _

_Meeting the infamous miko was something Michiru had envisioned since her father returned form the war. She had been eternally grateful that she was perhaps the most important reason her father had come back alive. What was more was that, of all the stories circling in the youkai community, she had to admit that she held something akin to admiration for the young miko. Her work and dedication to her profession was her priority. Never, in her entire existence, had Michiru met someone as self-less and giving as Kagome. Nor did she for a moment blame her for what happened all those years on that village. Whatever had happened, she was sure that what Kagome had done was because she knew it was the right thing to do._

_The miko stared at the demon princess next to her. She was very beautiful with her dark black hair that stopped at her chin, brilliant blue eyes and high cheeks that gave her a very noble appearance. Lady Michiru was wearing a midnight blue kimono that had white sakura at its bottom edge. She also noticed the wagging tail behind the wolf princess._

"_Well?'' said Lady Michiru_

_Fumbling with her fan, which had been tucked inside her sleeve, Lady Kagome asked, "What is it that you wish my opinion on?"_

"_You see," glancing sideways to the miko, "it has come to my attention that the Inu no Taishou's son, Lord Sesshoumaru, has...has... well...he's decided that I will make a perfect mate for him." Kagome choked – on what, she did not know, but she choked nonetheless. 'So this was Sesshoumaru's intended?'_

"_Continue."_

_Lady Michiru cleared her throat. "If I may be frank, I am well aware that you are a miko and your opinion of others can only be judged by your ability to see an individual for what they truly are. I have known Lord Sesshoumaru since we were both pups. He is a much cherished friend. However, I do not wish to make my decision based on this. Friendship is very important in a mate, but... I guess what I am trying to say is that... I see him only as a friend."_

_Despite herself, Kagome laughed. She didn't want to like anyone. _

"_I see. First of all, please refrain from calling me 'Lady' Kagome and just call me Kagome. Can we agree on that?" She nodded, her sly grin telling her that Lady Michiru could not imagine calling her anything but that._

"_Demo, I will only do so if you agree to just call me Michiru." Kagome begrudgingly nodded._

"_Am I to believe you wish me to keep an eye on the Daiyoukai's heir?" She involuntarily shuddered. _

"_Yes and no. I just want you to...talk to him. Perhaps you can be a better judge of what can await me if I were to become his mate. I am putting my decision on your hands." She beamed at the miko._

_Kagome smirked. Payback would be fun. "I will try my best to help you."_

"_You are far too generous," Michiru said._

"_I believe that I am rarely accused of that Michiru-san." Michiru laughed. Right out loud in the middle of the garden. And at that moment, Michiru knew she just had to say it._

"_You," she said, still sounding most heartily amused, "must meet Lord Sesshoumaru." They walked back to the ongoing celebration, talking and laughing (at least, on Michiru's part) as if they'd known each other for years._

* * *

I knew the minute he walked in the garden.

I tried to tell myself it had nothing to do with a heightened awareness of the demon. He was excruciatingly handsome; that was a fact, not opinion. I couldn't imagine that every demoness didn't notice him immediately. Sesshoumaru was wearing a simple white under garment, black full length kimono, grey hakama pants and a black haori. It wasn't something very elegant, but I was more than positive he could probably wear a crane around his body and still manage to make it look regal.

He arrived late. Not very – the music couldn't have been more than a few notes into the piece. But late enough so that he tried to be quiet as he slipped into a crowd toward the front near his father and a female youkai. I remained motionless in my position at the back, fairly certain that he didn't see me as he settled in for the evening. He didn't look my way, and besides, several candles had been snuffed, leaving the field bathed in a dim, romantic glow. Surely the shadows obscured my face.

_He turned toward the direction of the garden, moving silently until he reached the end of his path. He looked to the right, then to the left, and then he smelled..._

_Her? The mysterious miko? Wasn't the insane miko supposed to be the one in attendance? _

_Why, he wondered, was he surprised?_

_But it couldn't be. The scent belonged to the other miko! He racked his brain for an explanation. Then it all hit him: the way she talked, her aura, the scent, and the words she spoke to him. The mysterious miko __**was**__ Kagome! Kagome __**was **__the mysterious miko! The fact that she had stated that he was on her lands only proved his point. _

_Kagome was dressed in a maroon kimono that had maple leave designs at the bottom, blending in charmingly with the golden obi tied around her petite waste. She was standing with Michiru beside a decorative wooden arc. For a young girl whose looks should be uninspiring, Minamoto Kagome was no less than a rare gem. The enticingly slender nose, the elegant cheekbones, and the delicate structure of her winsome face in its entirety were admirable enough to bestir the heart of many of his gender. _

_However it was her large, silkily lashed lavender eyes, slanting ever-so-slightly upward beneath gracefully sweeping brows, that revived dream images of past. Her hair was pulled up to the crown of her head in a perfect small bun tied with a golden ribbon that flowed down at her nape, leading his gaze to delectable areas a male might be tempted to stroke with his tongue. The long, ivory column of her throat, visible under the many layers, might well prove a delicate sweetmeat that his parted lips and nibbling teeth could leisurely savor. So, too, her dainty, unadorned ears. The tantalizing fragrance that had wafted from these areas as well as the smooth temple even now seemed to twine like silken vapors through his inner demon._

_Unfortunately for him, her scent was not only been left on every male within her reach, but also the scents of these other males were rapidly being impregnated on her. He half groaned in frustration and half swallowed hard at the ludicrous thought of possessiveness that over took him. _

_What a muddle! He was supposed to be admiring the demoness standing beside her, for Kami's sake. Lady Michiru. The most beautiful youkai of the season. Lovely beyond compare. Sweet and generous and even-tempered. And instead he couldn't stop looking at Kagome. Kagome, who, much as she infuriated him, couldn't help but command his respect. How could he not admire one who clung so steadfastly to her convictions? And Sesshoumaru had to admit that the crux of her convictions – devotion to family – was the one principle he held above all else._

_Lady Kagome had mastered the statuesque, blank expression. She was never in motion or smiling or frowning or pursing her lips like young mortal women were meant to. He'd fallen into the same trap as had the rest of the world – of thinking of her only in terms of a miko or a princess. _

_He frowned. 'Never a woman'._

_

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_

A short distance away from them, Lady Hana, mother to Lady Michiru, stood listening to the musicians on the back balcony of the castle at the end of the garden, and only occasionally looked back at her daughter, who was now standing next to the prince.

_Other youkai, there to enjoy the music, the fireworks and the gossip meandered along the_ _green pastures. Further inside the gardens were arbors and faux grottos for more private activities. Candles provided illumination in the rest of the land and lovely mahogany-board bridges led over the small ponds in the garden._

"_I'm really very upset with you," Lady Michiru said in an annoyed tone, tapping Sesshoumaru on the shoulder with her clawed hands. "It was very rude of you to come this late. You are supposed to be greeting your guests, not waving them goodbye."_

"_I know," he began sincerely, "and I'm – "_

_She hit him again, a little harder. "It's too noisy here! I'm sure you're going to apologize charmingly, and I don't want to miss a word. Is there not somewhere quieter we could go?"_

'_Could this have been any easier?!' the young demon thought. Finally, a chance to get her alone and convince her to accept. "One of those picturesque little grottos, perhaps?" he offered._

_Sesshoumaru wondered if it was possible the Lady Michiru was ignorant of the activities that sometimes took place in grottos like these. They were hardly suitable places for purely innocent rendezvous. _

_Yet they were private, and not very far away. He could convince her quickly and without interruption, and they could be back before their absence was noted. Since he was finding that he didn't particularly want to spend much time with the beautiful Michiru tonight, that suggestion had undeniable appeal. "Very well. To a grotto it will be."_

_A little warning bell went off in her mind. There might be more to this than Sesshoumaru wanting to just apologize, or even share some clandestine kisses. Maybe he had other plans, ones with serious consequences. Maybe she should reconsider. She didn't get a chance. The moment the next firework exploded in a shower of golden sparks, Sesshoumaru grabbed her hand and headed toward the grottos._

_They reached a grotto even more secluded than most by virtue of a huge sakura tree near the entrance, and Sesshoumaru pulled her into the cool, dark confines as if they were fleeing an invading army._

_Lady Michiru shrugged off her qualms and told herself that they were result of too many lectures about the wages of sin in her childhood. Sesshoumaru sought nothing more than a titillating tale to tell over sake with other males._

_He immediately assumed a melodramatically mournful expression. "I am very sorry that I arrived so tardy, Lady Michiru. I should have taken proper note to welcome all my guests – especially you. Can you forgive me?"_

_Michiru picked the edge of her sleeve and spoke without looking at him. "I was upset that you did not acknowledge the honor we have of being in the presence of a highly respectable and honored miko."_

_Stifling a sigh and roll of her eyes, Michiru decided that if he wanted to know how she felt, she'd give it to him, and get this over with. Hopefully one empty kiss would suffice. She put her hands around his neck, tilted her head so that she was looking at him. "I hope you can understand my answer," she whispered, leaning closer and smiling her most devastating smile. He licked his lips._

_She had met some very experienced youkai who were experts at that sort of practiced gesture designed to draw a woman's attention to a physical feature. This time, however, her suspicions were the only thing aroused, despite their seclusion and Sesshoumaru's physical attributes._

'_Gad, why am I not enjoying this!' thought the inu youkai. He was bored of this. The only times he hadn't been bored lately had been when he was reading – or when he had skirmished with Lady Kagome. _

_They remained close, their arms intertwined, gazing into each other's eyes, yet far from really seeing. There was an invisible wall keeping them at arms length, which, by the look of things, neither was trying to break anytime soon. Sesshoumaru couldn't get his mind off a particular stubborn ningen and Michiru..._

_Well, she was wishing a certain other inu youkai was the one holding her like this. Her daydream was stopped when Sesshoumaru, desperate to get things over with, closed the distance, bringing their lips together in the most superficial, empty and awkward kiss._

_None would be willing to tell that to the other._

_He broke the kiss and stepped back. "Am I forgiven?"_

_If he wanted to, he could probably seduce her right here and now. However, he wasn't the lascivious cad certain young ladies with bright violet eyes and studious miens thought him to be._

"_Sesshoumaru, we shouldn't – "_

_A sudden rustle of leaves audible above the distant explosions of the fireworks made her fall silent. There was no breeze tonight. "What is it? Is somebody there?" Michiru demanded as he turned to look over his shoulder towards the wide entrance of the grotto._

_Feet planted, arms akimbo, he slowly surveyed the area. He spotted the hem of a dark red kimono behind the curtain of the sakura leaves. He waited, tapping his toes and glaring at the bit of maroon, silently daring the female to come out and denounce him for trying to seduce the virtuous Michiru. Trying desperately to catch the scent of their spy, he failed miserably when he realized he or she had no scent. _

_The bit of maroon didn't move._

"_Were we seen?" Michiru asked in panic behind him._

_He faced her. "You had best go back to Lady Hana, just in case, and we must take special care not to be seen together again tonight." Michiru agreed taking his hand and hurrying back the way they came._

_Sesshoumaru wanted to get back to that sakura tree as quickly as he could to discover who had seen them kissing. He looked around for any female wearing dark red, and saw none._

_Then he spotted her. Her back to him, her kimono lifted a bit to aid her speedy progress, cloak being hovered over her; she was hurrying away from the grotto toward the labyrinth. She must have waited until she was sure they were gone before leaving her hiding place._

_His lips turned up in a smile. She wasn't going to get away from him that easily._

_The female stopped at the entrance to the labyrinth, doubting a little, and turned right. What sort of woman ventured alone into that place at night? Trotting up to the entrance, Sesshoumaru avoided the startled looks and went inside. He paused and looked around, then spotted a flash of maroon hem disappearing around a corner._

_His heartbeat quickened. This was like some of the nights at the Kuroi Hoshi, when he, Ujio and Juro had gone about their prankish business. Putting the literature sensei's clothes on the roof; stealing all the eggs and putting them in the old youkai's bed._

_There! The dark red cloth disappeared around another corner. He broke into a run. She was fast, whoever she was, he'd give her that. He wouldn't wager a yen on any woman of his acquaintance being so fleet a foot. The labyrinth was deserted tonight – thank Kami. It made his job easier. Must be the fireworks. But where the devil had she gone? _

_His chest heaving, he skittered to a halt as he came to a fork. He had no idea which way to go. He held his breath a moment, listening to see if he could hear her. Nothing. Neither a sound nor scent of her. It was as if she'd completely disappeared. Looking around, he ran his hand through his silver mane. The woman had wisely chosen the best place in the garden to hide._

_He considered a moment, then decided the best thing to do would be to forget the woman and go back the way he'd come – but before he could move, somebody came rushing round the corner behind him and ran smack into him. He reached out to steady his inadvertent assailant and realized it was a woman. A rather shapely woman. Wearing a red kimono. A very familiar dark red kimono._

"_Now I've got you!" he cried triumphantly, his hands gripping her arms. The brim of her black hooded cloak tilted, revealing copper tresses, and the face of Lady Kagome._

_As he bit back a curse and let go of her, she made a surprisingly graceful little curtsy and damn if she didn't look completely at ease and barely out of breath._

**

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Before I forget, a reviewer from asked to permission to draw Ujio. Of course, I was honored and said yes. She just finished it. I wanted to share with all of you her artwork. Just go to following URL: (if you have problems with it, tell me and I'll send it to you via e-mail)

**blood-runs-thick.deviantart/art/Ujio-81836651**

**I'll "word it out" here because it doesn't quite show well when I post it (there is no "www"): blood (hyphen) runs (hyphen) thick (dot) deviantart (slash) art (slash) Ujio (hyphen) 81836651**

**Remember that there are no spaces in between! OR you could just go to the site "deviantart" and search under Ujio.**


	19. Chapter 19

_**In law an infant, and in years a boy,**_

_**In mind a slave to every vicious joy...**_

_**Fickle as wind, of inclinations wild;**_

_**Women his dupe, his heedless friend a tool,**_

_**Old in the world, though scarcely broke from school.**_

_**-Lord Byron, "Damaetas"**_

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CHAPTER 18

"_I beg your pardon," she said in her monotone voice. "I didn't expect to find __**you **__here."_

_Sesshoumaru forced himself to ignore her subtle perfume, which was like the sweet, cool breeze in the summer, full of the scent of lilies._

"_Obviously, I didn't expect to run into you, either, Lady Kagome," he said, bowing stiffly. "Or to have you run into me. What are you doing here?"_

"_I should ask you the same question. Were you following me?" She cocked her head as she regarded him with that discomforting intensity. "Did you get lost in here, too?"_

_The answer to that was none of her business. "Were you spying on me?"_

"_Doko (Where)? Koko ni (here)? Of course not," she said, her voice having the same genial 'friendliness' that Ujio usually did. "I accidentally bumped into you."_

"_I didn't mean here in the labyrinth. I meant in the grotto."_

_Her expression was innocence itself. "Why ever would I do that?"_

"_I'm sure you were. I recognize your gown."_

_She glanced down at her dress, which reminded him of roses. "Suppose that were true–_ _and I'm not saying it is – why do you think I would spy on you?"_

_He struggled to keep a lid on the exasperation that threatened to boil into anger. "How the hell should I know what your motives are?"_

"_Really, such language is hardly becoming of a prince addressing a princess."_

"_Don't try to change the subject. You were spying on us."_

_Her delicately arched brow rose quizzically, "Us?"_

_He bit back another curse and changed tactics. "Perhaps it was envy that compelled you."_

_She smirked with that same affability, as if they were two old friends conversing casually in the forest behind her castle. "I don't envy anyone except Murasaki-sama."_

_Another unexpected – and fascinating – answer. "The writer?"_

_Her brows shot up even more. "You know of her?"_

_He crossed his arms over his chest. "Unlike the false reports spread about me by certain parties, I am not a complete ignoramus. I am well aware of her work. Even though she may be ningen, her work can be applied to any living being in the same social standing."_

_Lady Kagome smiled and he realized what a charming smile it was – open and honest and pleasant. "Since you know of Lady Murasaki's works, I will admit that I do find you a very interesting man."_

_He'd received many compliments since leaving his parents' lands, but nothing had ever made him feel quite as this one did, as if he really was interesting, and for more than his looks. His anger drifted away as he began to wonder why she didn't desire him. Then he told himself it didn't matter how she felt about him._

"_However you came to be here, you shouldn't be wandering about the labyrinth or the gardens without an escort," he warned. "It can be dangerous."_

"_I didn't mean to be. I told you, I got lost and perhaps if young men wouldn't stand stock-still blocking the path just around a corner, it wouldn't be so dangerous."_

_A little annoyed by her pert answer, he took a step toward her and gave her a wolfish grin. "That's not the sort of danger I meant."_

_Lady Kagome tilted her head again, reminding him of an inquisitive squirrel. "Oh, do you mean there are other lascivious men prowling about and that as_ _a momentarily_ _unescorted female, I may fall prey to their unconstrained lust?"_

_Other...? Sesshoumaru's anger flared. "If anyone was prowling about, it wasn't me?"_

_She didn't seem at all nonplussed by either his anger or his answer. "However misplaced your concern, I assure you I can defend myself if I must. But surely you, who have personally felt my power, shouldn't worry."_

_He barked a laugh. "Your waspish tongue may not be enough."_

"_No?" she inquired, still annoyingly calm._

_Before he could say anything more, her fingers suddenly shout out straight into the base of his throat about his collarbone and below the neck lining of his haori, letting out just enough spiritual power to paralyze him momentarily. "Damn!" he gasped, his breathing labored from the sharp blow as he stumbled backward._

_She smirked that charmingly friendly smirk again. "You see, a young woman raised in a monastery is not necessarily a babe in the woods. I am well prepared against men, or_ _youkai, who wish to do me harm." _

"_I don't wish to do you harm," he panted as he regained his balance. His curiosity got the better of his wounded pride. "Where did you learn to do that?"_

"_My father sent me to the monastery up the mountain to train with a houshi. He had many interesting skills."_

"_I bet he did. And he showed you all of them, did he?" he asked with an exaggerated leer. He still couldn't get a rise out of her._

"_I daresay it is difficult for you to appreciate that a man and a woman can have any sort of relationship other than a carnal one," she said calmly. "But Tanaka-dono was fifty years old and a man of the cloth, so all he taught me was how to defend myself."_

"_I __**can**__ and I __**do**__ have relationships with women that aren't carnal," he retorted._

"_Really? I must confess I'm surprised. Nevertheless, I believe you should follow your own advice and leave the labyrinth."_

"_I'll go when I decide. Besides, this is MY home."_

"_Have it your way, dog boy. But I recall our conversation before, when we spoke of whether or not women would be more virtuous than men if given the same opportunities. You may remember I have my doubts that women would be. Therefore, you may not want to risk being discovered in your weakened present condition by other young women who may be overwhelmed with admiration for your broad shoulders and handsome face. You might not be able to fend her off should she decide to have her lascivious way with you."_

_The idea of Lady Kagome having her lascivious way with him was a surprisingly appealing notion. He ran his gaze over her body. She was long of limb, curvy of hip. Her full, but not big, round breasts would probably fit perfectly in his cupped palm. She'd responded to his words with no false coyness, no fraudulent maidenly modesty. She'd been bold, frank, and even brazen. He could well imagine she would be the same in bed, making love with eager joy and unabashed delight. _

_A vibrant image burst into this head, of this bright-eyed young female naked beneath him, her eyes shining not with curiosity but with desire, her body undulating as he pressed his lips to hers._

_Her longer legs would wrap about him, pulling him closer as he thrust inside her. He could almost hear her whispers, soft moans and cries of delight as he pleasured her. And by Kami, how he would!_

_He eased toward her, closing the space between them. As she stared at him, her lips parted and her breathing grew rapid. Her expression changed, to something that was not calm composure. Nor was it fear. It was something he was sure he recognized, for he was feeling it himself._

"_Perhaps I wouldn't fend you off, Lady Kagome," he whispered, his voice hoarse with suppressed desire, the force of it overwhelming his urge to intimidate her. "Would you care to try?"_

_She laughed. She actually laughed in his face._

"_I amuse you, do I?" he asked, a hint of real warning in his voice as he moved closer yet, trapping her body against the labyrinth._

"_Because I know you can't be serious, Lord Sesshoumaru," she answered, apparently unaware of how truly tempting she was. "I'm no beauty, and have little to recommend me to your sex. As I said, I find you interesting, but my interest is purely platonic, as I'm sure yours is for me if you are at all sincere."_

_Platonic? He'd show her platonic._

_He slid his hands up her slender arms. "You're wrong, Lady Kagome. I find you very attractive."_

_Lady Kagome met his gaze with that brazen, yet strangely innocent, boldness he was coming to expect. "Do you plan to kiss me, Lord Sesshoumaru?"_

_His fingertips shimmed her soft cheek. "I was certainly contemplating it."_

_She closed her eyes and stood perfectly still, her whole body rigid._

"_What are you doing?"_

_She opened one eye. "Why, I am waiting to be kissed. It's sure to be a novel experience."_

_She sounded so very matter-of-fact, his passionate desire instantly dissipated. She truly was odd, and if he were wise, he would have nothing more to do with her, images of her in his arms notwithstanding._

_Both her eyes opened. "I gather from this delay that you have changed your mind about kissing me."_

_She didn't have to look so relieved. "I have reconsidered, hai."_

_She reached out and patted him on the chest. "That's quite all right, dog boy. I really didn't think you would."_

"_Stop calling me dog boy! Which doesn't mean it's safe for a young woman to be wandering about the garden at night, whether you think you can defend yourself from physical harm or not," he retorted, telling himself she must be the most frustratingly naïve young female in Nihon. "You're putting your reputation at risk the very least."_

_She laid her hand over her heart and drew back sarcastically as if shocked. "Why, how kind of you, Lord Sesshoumaru, to counsel me on propriety and guarding of one's reputation. You, of course, are a model of both counts. So now, ever mindful as I must be that a woman's reputation is so much more delicate than a man's, I must beg your leave to be excused –"_

_She turned to go but he reached out to make her stay, resisting the sudden urge to pull her into his arms and see if her kisses would be as exciting as he expected. "Were you spying on me?"_

_Kagome looked down at his hand with an expression of revulsion. "Unhand me, inu youkai, or I may be forced to hurt you... again."_

_Like flame to tallow, her challenge heated his blood. "I would like to see you try."_

"_I doubt that. Tanaka-dono was an excellent teacher. It might be embarrassing for you to explain to your otou-san how you came to be so bruised. Now will you unhand me, or are you the animal everyone here believes you to be?"_

_He released her immediately. "No doubt the other lords have described me as quite the blackguard."_

"_As a matter of fact, they have. It's really very shocking, some of the things they say of you."_

"_They're lies."_

_She got a little studious wrinkle between her brows as she gave serious consideration to his words. "Are you accusing my hand maid of lying?_

_He wanted to press his lips upon that little wrinkle and make it go away. "Not deliberately," he said, his anger lessening. "She is merely repeating lies other people have told her."_

"_Then you deny that you've got a score of mistresses all over Nihon?"_

"_I don't even have one."_

"_At present?"_

_Damn, he was actually blushing like a little pup. What could she possibly know of his world, to stand there so cool and composed and make him feel like he ought to be ashamed? He'd had enough of that in his youth._

* * *

Before he could reply, two female voices rose nearby. "Kagome! Oh Kagome-hime, where are you? Lord Inu no Taishou is waiting for you!"

I smiled. "Lady Michiru and Lana are at hand. I suggest you flee. You're very attractive in your own way, but I wouldn't want to feel compelled to marry you for the sake of _my ruined honor_ should we be discovered alone, and I don't think you'd want to mate with me under those circumstances, either."

I could see the frustration and aggravation in his face. "I wouldn't mate you under any circumstances, not even if they found us naked together," he growled.

I laughed again, a low, intimate chuckle at his expense. "Then _run_, prince, as quickly as you can."

He didn't run, but he walked very fast.

When he was gone, I let out a slow, deep breath. It was a fortunate thing they both had called out when they had, and that the youkai had swiftly departed. My legs had been trembling so much, I couldn't have gone a step. If he'd actually kissed me, I'd probably have slipped right down to the ground, regardless of my pricey kimono. I had hardly been able to breathe as it was.

I allowed myself to play with fire, for heat was exactly what the inu youkai inspired – exciting, delicious and very dangerous heat that had forced me to use all my self-control to keep from revealing his effect on me. I hadn't because I was quite sure he would think me a silly, hen witted female with an extremely exaggerated sense of self-worth if I had. I was, after all, ningen Kagome, which meant that his real motive for acting as if he found me attractive was to intimidate me, or discomfort me at the very least.

My behavior tonight puzzled me. I wasn't one to care for others. It hadn't been right to follow them, and spying on a couple at an intimate moment hadn't been my intention when I'd manage to get away from the watchful Daiyoukai's supervision and the other youkai. I'd merely wanted to admire the beauty of the gardens on my own for a little while, in silence.

After I exited the labyrinth and joined the rest of the guests, we were called to a rather large table set in the middle of the garden. Dinner was ready and all sat to enjoy the meal. The youkai were served raw food. However, Lana and I were served regular human dinner. Most of the night was spent in 'talk' about the victorious battle.

Since most of the guests were staying for the entire week festivities, the ceremony went into the morning hours. Lana and I retreated about two or three hours after the feast. Hours that I thanked Kami in which Juro never left my side, chasing away any unwanted chats with the other youkai. I had seen Ujio talking with Sesshoumaru and other youkai, but he never made eye contact with me or even spoken a word in my direction.

* * *

The morning after, I arose with the sun. Exiting my heya, I headed for the training grounds. I wished to meditate through breakfast and avoid everyone's ongoing curiosity. I wanted to leave.

Meditation did help. My mind calmed and body released a bit of its tenseness. It did not last long, however. When I went inside the castle, most youkai were already up and about doing gossiping. I ignored them and made a mad run to my room.

Once inside the confinement of my room, I laid in the futon. Lana was nowhere in site, but I supposed that she might be with the rest of the servants overseeing the arrangements for this evening's entertainment.

It seemed that only seconds passed when Juro came by to inform me that I should start to dress myself. He even brought with him a silk kimono that he laid in the bed. It was a very light peach color. The bottom and the sleeve edges were covered in white lilies. The red and orange clouds depicted a sunset appearance. Instead of the traditional white inner yukata, this one came with a dark red one and dark green obi that also had lilies embroidered in it.

"Chichi-ue wishes for you to wear this for this evening. He hopes it will be to your liking and that you honor him in his one wish." Juro smiled and motioned for me to take it.

"But who does this belong to?"

"Actually, it was a present for my late surrogate mother. However, Lady Akiko became ill before my chichi-ue could present her with it. He had never taken it out of the wrapping until tonight."

"Tell the Daiyoukai that I will see him in a few moments."

He smiled again and winked at me before sliding the door.

I tried to keep my eyes on 'Lord something' throughout the entire conversation. My outlook was not improved, however, by the fact that the performing dancer could not take her eyes off Lord Sesshoumaru. At first I thought I must be imagining the dancer's fascination with the prince, but by the time the music was halfway done, there could be no doubt. The youkai dancer was issuing the prince a sultry invitation with her eyes.

Why this bothered me so much, I didn't know. After all, it was just another piece of proof that he was every bit the licentious demon I'd known him to be. I should have felt smug. I should have felt vindicated.

Instead, all I felt was disappointment. It was a heavy, uncomfortable feeling around my heart, one that left me slumping slightly.

When the performance was done, the dancer, after graciously accepting her applause, walked brazenly up to the prince and offered him one of those seductive smiles. There was no mistaking what the singer meant by that smile.

Good heavens, the man didn't even need to chase women. They practically dropped at his feet. Sesshoumaru offered the dancer a mysterious half-smile of his own. Then he reached out and actually tucked an errant lock of her raven hair behind her ear. I shivered as I saw him lean forward, whispering something in her ear.

It was disgusting. Really, truly disgusting. Turning on my heel, I searched for Lana, who was again engaged in talk with our host.

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru continued to converse with the dancer who had come up to him. He certainly hadn't told his father, but he and the dancer had enjoyed a pleasant number the last time he'd been to a feast. Once in a while, and discreetly, of course, he would steal glances at Kagome when she wasn't looking.

_Two hours later, Sesshoumaru was shocked to discover that Michiru had actually been bold enough to ask the strange miko for her approval of him as her mate. It seemed that the road to Michiru's acceptance lay squarely through her newly acquired friend. According to Ujio, this was the rumor circulating in the hall. The entire situation seemed absurd to Sesshoumaru. It was unfathomable! So it now appeared he had to charm the miko. But not before teaching her the lesson she so deserved._

_He wondered if Kagome had told her of their previous encounters. Probably not. Michiru would have already berated him for even laying a claw on the miko._

_Sesshoumaru had seen her enter the large hall by herself. He couldn't help but hold his breath when he saw how she was dressed. The warm colors of her kimono gave her a most beguiling look. Just like the day before, there was no paint in her face. Not that it made any difference when those dark lashes did the trick of accenting her eyes. Tonight_ _her hair was picked up in a bun by her nape and held fast by two red picks that had white pearls at their ends. _

_He was about to begin complimenting her, mentally, when he recalled their rendezvous in the grotto. That was good enough reason to forego any more lustful ideas._

_There was a sparkle of mischief in Juro's azure eyes. "You'll have no trouble winning her over," he predicted, a confident smile lighting his face. "No trouble at all. A shy, spoiled princess? She's probably never received attention from such a male as you. She'll never even know what hit her. You simply can't fail. Trust me, I spent a few minutes with her earlier this evening, and she could not say enough about you."_

_Having lost sight of her, he pushed himself up off the wall and gazed out with an air of determination. "Good. Where is she? I must speak with her at once."_

_Juro scanned the room for a minute or so, and then said, "Ah, there she is. She's coming this way, as a matter of fact. What a marvelous coincidence."_

"_Kagome-san," Juro was saying, "what a delight to see you again."_

_She looked a bit perplexed, and Sesshoumaru didn't blame her. Juro was making it sound as if they'd bumped into each other accidentally, when they all knew he'd trampled at least a half dozen youkai to reach her side._

"_And I you again as well, Juro," she replied wryly. "And so unexpectedly soon after our last encounter."_

_Juro grinned winningly and Sesshoumaru had the distinct and unsettling impression that his brother was up to something. That and the fact that both of them had addressed each other with such familiarity. "I can't explain why," Juro said to Lady Kagome, "but it suddenly seemed imperative that I introduce you to Lord Sesshoumaru, heir to the Western Lands." Apparently, no one was aware of their previous meetings. _

_She looked abruptly to Juro's right and stiffened as her gaze settled on Sesshoumaru. In fact, she rather looked as if she'd just swallowed an antidote. This, Sesshoumaru thought, was odd._

"_How kind of you," Lady Kagome murmured – between her teeth._

"_Kagome, I believe you made the acquaintance of Lady Michiru. She is Lord Sesshoumaru's choice for future mate." Juro continued brightly._

"_Indeed," Sesshoumaru said, becoming aware of an overwhelming notion that Juro was using the miko to have a bit of fun tonight. Apparently, he was bored._

_Lady Kagome bobbed a quick, awkward curtsy. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she said, "it is an honor to make your acquaintance."_

_Juro made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort. Or maybe a laugh. Or maybe both._

_The inu youkai turned deliberately from Sesshoumaru to Kagome, "I think I might need some water," he gasped._

"_Would you like me to fetch it for you?" she asked. The prince noticed that she'd already stepped out with one foot, looking for an excuse to flee._

_Juro shook his head. "No, no, I'm quite capable. But I do believe I had reserved this next dance with you."_

"_I shall not hold you to it," she said with a wave of her hand._

"_Oh, but I could not live with myself were I to leave you unattended," he replied._

_Sesshoumaru could see Lady Kagome growing worried at the devilish gleam in Juro's eye. He took a rather uncharitable pleasure in this. His reaction was, he knew, a touch out of proportion. But something about this Lady Kagome sparked his temper and made him positively itch to do battle with her._

_And win. That much went without saying._

"_Sesshoumaru," Juro said, sounding so deucedly innocent and earnest that it was all_ _Sesshoumaru could do not to kill him on the spot, "you're not engaged for this dance, are you?"_

_The prince said nothing, just glared at him._

"_Good. Then you will dance with Lady Kagome."_

"_I'm sure that's not necessary," the woman in question blurted out._

_Sesshoumaru glared at his brother, then for good measure at Lady Kagome, who was looking at him as if he'd just despoiled ten virgins in her presence._

"_Oh, but it is," Juro said with great drama, ignoring the optical daggers being hurled across their little threesome. "I could never dream of abandoning a young lady in her hour of need. How" – he shuddered – "dishonorable."_

"_I assure you," Lady Kagome said quickly, "that being left to my own devices would be far preferable to dan –"_

_Enough, Sesshoumaru thought savagely, was really enough. His brother_ _had already_ _played him for a fool; he was not going to stand idly while he was insulted by Michiru's sharp-tongued miko friend. He laid a heavy hand on Lady Kagome's arm and said, "Allow me to prevent you from making a grievous mistake, Lady Kagome."_

_She stiffened. How, he did not know; her back was already ramrod straight. "I beg your pardon," she said._

"_I believe," he said smoothly, "that you were about to say something you would soon regret."_

"_No," she said, sounding deliberately thoughtful, "I don't think regrets were in my future."_

"_They will be," he said ominously. And then he grabbed her arm and practically dragged her onto the ballroom floor._


	20. Chapter 20

_**In flight I shall be surely wise,**_

_**Escaping from temptation's snare...**_

_**-Lord Byron, "The Farewell to a Lady"**_

**

* * *

**

CHAPTER 19

There was really nothing I could do, I realized with dismay. He was the host and I was a mere mortal guest, and we were both in the middle of a crowded ballroom. It didn't matter if I couldn't stand the idea of his touch. I had to dance with him.

"There's no need to drag me," I hissed. He made a great show of loosening his grip.

I grounded my teeth together and swore to myself that this demon would never take anyone as his mate. His manner was too cold, too superior. He was, I thought a touch too unfairly, too handsome as well, with velvety golden eyes that somehow matched his silver hair to perfection. He was tall, certainly over six feet and his lips, while classically beautiful (I had studied enough art to regard myself qualified to make such a judgment) were tight at the corners, as if he did not know how to smile.

"Now then," he said, once our feet began to move in the familiar steps, "supposed you tell me why you hate me."

I treaded on his foot. Kami, he was direct. "I beg your pardon?"

"There is no need to maim me, Lady Kagome."

"It was an accident, I assure you." And it was, even if I really didn't mind this particular example of my lack of grace.

"Why," he mused, "do I find I have difficulty believing you?"

Honesty, I quickly decided, would be my best strategy. If he could be direct, well then, so could I. "Probably," I answered with a wicked smile, "because you know that had it occurred to me to step on your foot on purpose, I would have done so."

He threw back his head and laughed. It was not the reaction I had been either expecting or hoping for. Come to think of it, I had no idea what sort of reaction I'd been hoping for, but this certainly wasn't what I'd been expecting.

"Will you stop?" I whispered urgently. "Everyone is starting to stare."

"Everyone started to stare two minutes ago," he returned. "It's not often a demon prince such as I dance with a miko like you."

As barbs went, this one was well aimed but sadly for him, also incorrect. "Not true," I replied jauntily. "You are not the first of Michiru's besotted baka (idiot) princes to dance with me this evening in an attempt to gain her favor through me."

He grinned. "Not admirer, but idiots?"

I caught his gaze with mine and was surprised to find true amusement in his eyes. "Surely you're not going to hand me such a delicious piece of bait as that?'

"And yet you did not take it," he mused.

I looked down to see if there was some way I might discreetly step on his foot again.

"I have very thick boots, Lady Kagome," he said. My head snapped back up in surprise.

One corner of his mouth curved up in a mockery of a smile. "And quick eyes as well."

"Apparently so. I shall watch my step around you, to be sure."

"My goodness," he drawled, "was that a compliment? I might expire from the shock of it."

"If you'd like to consider that a compliment, I give you leave to do so," I said airily. "You're not likely to receive many more."

"You wound me, Lady Kagome."

"Does that mean that your skin is not as thick as your boots?"

"Oh, not nearly"

I felt myself laugh before I realized I was amused. "That I find difficult to believe."

"You did not answer my question. Why do you hate me?"

"I hate everyone equally. Don't take it personally." Yet I continued with something else. "I do not even know you."

"Knowing is rarely a prerequisite for hating," he said softly, his eyes settling on mine with lethal steadiness. "Come now, hime, you don't seem a coward to me. Answer the question."

Something in his eyes told me that he appreciated my stark honesty. "Honestly?"

His lips twitched. "Please do."

"You are dancing with me right now because you wish my approval to mate Michiru. This does not bother me," I hastened to assure him. "I have come to expect such unwarranted attention for the night."

In the few hours I had chatted with Michiru since last night, I came to semi-like her. Truly I did. And I knew better than anyone that Michiru's heart was as beautiful and radiant as her face. I didn't like to think myself jealous, but still... somehow to compare myself with her, stung right to the core.

"Please continue," he murmured.

"You are not the sort of demon I would wish her to mate," I said simply. My manner was direct and my eyes never left his. "You are a rake. You are a rogue. You are, in fact, notorious for being both. I will not allow her within ten feet of you."

"And yet," he said with a wicked little smile, "I know, even if you continue to deny it, that you saw me kiss her yesterday."

"An act which shall not be repeated, I can assure you."

Sesshoumaru stifled the urge to smile. Kami, he was enjoying baiting me. "I think," he said, keeping his words slow and deliberate, "that you found it relatively easy to manage most of the males who have come across you. Is that true?"

I gave him one curt nod.

"But I also think," he added, "that you made a grave mistake when you thought to manage me. Lady Kagome, you know very little of males. At least, of the rakish, roguish variety." He leaned in closer, letting his hot breath brush against my cheek.

I shivered. He knew I shivered. He smiled wickedly. "There is very little we relish more than a challenge." He embraced me tighter putting his lips very close to my ear and whispered, "And you, Kagome, have issued to me a most delicious challenge."

I compiled all my courage and closed the little distance that was left between us. I brought my arms around his waste and felt him tense. I put my mouth a breath away from his neck and I whispered in return, "You are a despicable man. It makes me ill to look or even be around you. However...challenge accepted."

I let out a tang of purifying energy, letting it travel through his body. He swayed forward and I caught him just before his face met the floor. Nobody noticed this (we were dancing at the far end of the hall by now) and he quickly straightened. Rage was consuming him as he pressed me hard against his chest. I gasped, but did not squirm. Quite frankly, the reaction had shocked me. The music was coming to a close soon, so I decided to just shut my mouth for now. I mentally patted myself for getting back at the arrogant youkai for seeing me in the nude.

_

* * *

_

His palm moved upward between her shoulder blades, pressing her closer against him, and in gently swirling her about again, he had cause to catch his breath in sharp reaction as their thighs brushed. The contact left him battling a familiar ache, the intensity of which could have been likened to being hit in the gut, very much like what he'd experienced when she first arrived in the room to see several male youkai walk up to her and later begin laughing with her. In particular, Juro, who he noticed, never left her side or the comfort that she emitted when he was around. The fact that he desired her perhaps more than any female he had ever known had dawned on him with startling clarity during those moments he had stood watching her bathe. No one could've even come close to guessing the difficulty he had had remaining there merely as an observer and not staking his claim on her.

_But now she had done so much than step on his feet. She had wounded his pride._

'_She thinks I'm despicable,' he kept thinking. 'My presence makes her ill,' a voice mimicked her indignant tone. No one said that to his face and got away with it. And certainly not someone he found interesting. Not that she interested him that much ― it was just that he seldom spent time around anyone who seemed so... pure._

_Too pure to wish to taint herself with his presence, obviously. Well, he would see about that. He would see her begging for him before he was finished with her. The angel would find herself considerably tattered - and everyone would know it._

_Out of spite, he said the first thing that came to mind. "Lady Kagome," the music had begun to quiet down as it entered the last verse, "perhaps you could praise us with one of your own songs. I hear you are quite the singer." He smiled evilly to her. Everyone turned to her, for the music had stopped when he had made the last comment. All present, encouraged her with applause and nodding._

_She swayed back a step. A trembling hand reached to her heart and the color of her face left her. Sesshoumaru heard her breaths come in short pants as her eyes widened. She searched frantically around the room for something or someone, stopping at the Inu no Taishou and a woman who had, until now, been talking to him._

_The said woman raced up to Kagome and clasped both hands on the miko's arm, only to have them shoved away. "My lady!" Again, she whispered to the miko, "We can leave if you wish. However," she whirled to look fiercely at Sesshoumaru, "you – ". She was cut off by Kagome's voice._

_Barely smiling, she replied, "Lana, its fine." Glaring back at him, she continued, "After all, we wouldn't want to disrespect the wishes of our host." _

_This confirmed his suspicion. If she had been uncomfortable before, her bearing now_ _turned downright hostile. And Sesshoumaru realized with a mental slap that he'd said the exact wrong thing. He had meant to embarrass her, but one look into her violet eyes told him that he'd not only done that, but also hurt her. It was as if he'd stripped her off of her kimono and displayed her for all to see._

_She moved to the front of the guests. She addressed the musicians, telling them that she did not require their company. Taking a deep breath and bowing her head, she closed her eyes. 'You have no idea what you have done, prince.'_

_Flexing her hands, she raised her head, opened her eyes and began._

* * *

My eyes searched him for a moment. 'Did he know? How could he have done this? What else could I do?' Everyone's stare burned holes in my body as they awaited my song.

I would sing – that much was inevitable. But if I was going to bare a part of my soul, at least I would not give him the satisfaction of showing my hurt. I took in a deep breath and opened my mouth.

_**Win dain a lotica**__** - **__In the darkness_

_**En val tu ri -**__ the dragon_

_**Si lo ta - **__wakes._

_**Fin dein a loluca - **__The dragon awakens_

_**En dragu a sei lain - **__to a heart_

_**Vi fa-ru les shutai am - **__that is numbed with cold_

_**En riga-lint - **__the dragon takes__**.**_

_**Win chent a lotica - **__Without you at_

_**En val turi**__** - **__my side the_

_**Silota**__** - **__dragon sleeps._

_**Fin dein a loluca**__** - **__On dragon_

_**Si katigura neuver**__** - **__wing your_

_**Floreria for chesti**__** - **__wishes will_

_**Si entina**__** - **__leap._

_**Lalala… **_

_**Fontina Blu Cent**__** - **__your wishes can_

_**De cravi esca letisimo**__** - **__bring forth a destructive future_

_**Lalala…**_

_**De quantian - **__or you can_

_**La finde reve**__** - **__bring salvation._

_**Win dain a lotica**__** - **__In the darkness_

_**En vai tu ri**__** - **__the dragon _

_**Si lo ta**__** - **__wakes._

_**Fin dein a loluca**__** - **__The dragon awakens_

_**En dragu a sei lain**__** - **__to a heart_

_**Vi fa-ru les shutai am**__** - **__that is numbed with cold_

_**En riga-lint**__** - **__the dragon takes._

_The entire room hushed when she began to sing. No one could believe the beautiful melody that came from her lips. Although none had heard the language of the song, no one could keep from enjoying the astonishing piece._

_Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and let her enchanting voice fill him. It was unlike anything he'd ever heard. Of course he'd heard other human and demon females sing, but even though they were able to carry a tune, there could never be any comparison._

_Kagome's tone carried throughout the room. It sent waves of peace and purity to the listeners. Whatever uncomfortable atmosphere had occupied the palace was replaced with the calming emotion that clung to the song. _

_The young prince was the first, and probably the only one, to notice that her song was sad. He looked into her eyes only to be met with such agony that he had to take a step back in order to keep from falling. The feeling that was being radiated from her person, it seemed, was directed to him._

_And for once in his entire life, he felt ashamed._

* * *

I bowed weakly when I finished the last note. Luckily, the gathered multitude of youkai began a wave of applause. It should have helped to ease my nerves, but it only served to feed my hurt. I spared a glance at the coming figure of the Daiyoukai. His widened smile turned into laughter.

"My lady, had I not witnessed you singing, I would have thought a tennyo (celestial maiden) was the owner of the most astounding voice I have ever heard!" Several youkai voiced their agreements at the Inu no Taishou's speech.

I figured he was only trying to make my unfortunate ordeal a little less painful. He sought the countenance of his son and looked icily at him before he turned once more to his guests. "My esteemed visitors, please, go and take your seats at the dinning table."

He offered his arm and he led the way to the feast. The demon lord beckoned me to sit on his right, which left me facing his son. I would nibble on my food not finding any desire to eat.

Lady Michiru sat next to me and would once in a while made comments about how much she had enjoyed my singing. I did not fail to see how she would look angrily at the prince whenever such comments were made. Most of the dinner was spent in low hum of the guests.

Only one youkai, whom I had conversed earlier with, turned in my direction and asked, "Kagome-hime, may I inquire as to the odd tongue of your song? I don't believe I have ever heard it spoken. Then again, I have never mingled with humans, so I would not know if this is a common language to your people."

I glanced his way, pondered on an answer and replied, "Iiee. The language is one that was taught to me when I was much younger. My sensei instructed me on different languages. He said it would come quite handy when trading with the mainland." In reality, this was a lie. The song had just come to me.

"Oh." He simply stated. I thought that was all but then he cocked his head and interrogated me again. "What land does this strange tongue belong to?"

Everyone looked my way. An eerie silence ensued as they all dropped their chop sticks awaiting my answer. Finally, I said, "It is from the land of Romania. It lies northwest of the mainland. Father trades with them often, mostly spices and weapons." _What the hell had I just said?_ It had just popped into my head. But somehow it made sense in there so I just left it as it was hoping that that would satisfy their curiosity.

I supposed that did answer their inquisitiveness for they all returned to their dinner.

Soon afterwards, the Western Lord saw to each of his guests. Being his personal guest, I stood by him the rest of the night. The last to turn up for the night were the Southern Lord and his family. In fact, the Inu no Taishou moved into his study with the wolf lord and the prince, leaving Michiru and her mother with me and several servants who were cleaning.

"Kagome, daijoubou desu ka?" Her worried face tugged at my heart.

"Hai. I am just a bit tired."

Because she had probably sensed my discomfort at being touched, she stopped her hand midway and instead, Michiru asked me to follow her outside. The moon was shining brightly and a light air caressed my face. Once she made sure no one was listening or watching she sat down and motioned for me to do the same.

"I'm sorry for what Sesshoumaru did. It was more than evident is was not something you wanted to share with the world. Am I correct to assume that no one knew about this?"

"Hai. And it is not you who should have to apologize. But I will tell you something. From what I've seen tonight, and probably all I need to see, I have come to the conclusion that the he will not make a suitable mate for you."

I really did not see him settling down even for her. Yet, something in the back of my mind told me that I had said this because I was angry at him. And, in all truth, I was. I would pay him back by ruining his plans to mate with Michiru. Or so I kept telling myself that that was the reason.

"Arigatou for your answer. I too have thought about his actions this evening. Honestly, I have never seen him act so childish. Still, had he not behave like that, I still would not have agreed to his offer. Actually, I told my father about this and he has acknowledged my request. I believe he is right at this moment talking to the Inu no Taishou." She stood up and reached for me.

"Somehow I don't think that Sesshoumaru will take the news very well. However, I agree that you should be the one to decide who you want to share the rest of your life with."

"Thank you, Kagome. I'm not sure if I will ever find this male. And even if I did, I don't think he would notice me," she whispered, looking forward.

"Why do you say that? Any male would be honored to have a mate like you. Though, I can honestly say that I did not see any in this particular group of youkai." I added, "Still, there is...that one named Juro." I pondered upon this last comment.

Michiru immediately stiffened and blushed a bit, waving her hands wildly. "That is impossible. Lord Juro and I are just friends. He's like a brother to me." She turned to look at me and continued, "Besides, I don't believe he thinks of me that way. He's never once showed any interest in me. He barely acknowledges me with a 'hello'!"

I turned her answer in my head and something clicked. She liked him! I wondered if Juro like her too. He was after all a male. There had to be at least some attraction...

"If there is a female he's ever shown interest in... it's you." There was a bit of disappointment laced in her words. She tried to hide it with a smile. Her eyes, however, betrayed her.

"Baka iwanaide (Nonsense)." I snorted.

"Kagome, he **does** like you. You can't tell me that he doesn't go out of his way to be the one who is always by your side. He has done nothing but hang on to you for this past two days. There are even rumors among the servants that even before tonight, when war was being waged, that he asked about you until he saw you again. And yesterday, at dinner, he never once conversed with anyone but you. It's like the rest of us cease to exist to him once you enter the room. And," she paused momentarily, "he addresses you with a familiarity and affection that I've never heard him use with anyone. Can you believe that we've known each other since we were both a few months old and he's never ever called me anything but 'Lady Michiru'?"

I was surprised by all she had said. I hadn't realized how attentive towards the red-haired inu youkai she was.

"It's not that," I tried to reassure her. I let my guard down a hair's width, ever mindful of the inner reflex to purify her youkai blood. I just had to ask. "Do _you_ have feelings for Juro?"

She paled a little and stood immediately. "We should get back inside. I think I hear my otou-san calling." Smiling at me, she headed inside with me trailing behind her.

Entering into the huge room, we found the Daiyoukai, Lord Fatsu and his wife, Lady Hana already by the stairs. Michiru hugged me and said, "Please, you must come and visit me sometime after this feast. Our home is opened to you always." Her father grinned at me and also made an invitation.

"I will take that in mind." I waved at them as they ascended to their heya.

Lana had been watching me from a corner the whole night. Once she saw everyone leave, she took my arm, said her goodnights to the Inu no Taishou in a hurry and hauled me to our room. When she slided the door shut, she hugged me and began sobbing.

Pushing her away as gently as I could, I moved towards one of the windows. "Child, for a moment," she hiccupped, "I thought you might purify the entire castle. The audacity of that arrogant demon was beyond words. I beg you, let us leave. He has caused you great pain. I can see it in your eyes."

Her pleads only intensified my anger. "Very well. Begin gathering our belongings. I shall meet you downstairs." I grabbed my cloak and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't be troubled. I am only going to talk to the Inu no Taishou." I slid the door open. I took one foot out and bumped into a hard chest.

Looking up, I was met with narrowed golden eyes. "May we speak?"

"Hai," I moved to one side in order to let him in. "I wished to express my gratitude for your invitation. However, I do not think I can stay any longer. You see, Lana and I did not come alone. A very good friend of mine is still waiting for us on a village at the border of your lands. We left him there because he was sick. That was two days ago and I am positive that he is well by now. Besides, I do not wish to give my father a reason to come and look for me." It was true. But, nonetheless, it was a pretext.

He eyed me suspiciously for a moment. "Of course. Yet, I hope you will at least allow me to send you off until morning. It is late and this is no hour for a hime to travel on her own."

"I must object to this. The sooner we leave, the sooner I can get to my friend."

He must have seen the determination in my face for he said, "I can tell you will not listen to whatever I might say. In that case, I will send Sesshoumaru with you. It is only fair that he regain a hint of honor by seeing to your safety." The demon lord did not give me time to voice my objection. Closing the door behind him, I was left looking at an open-mouthed Lana.

Bringing my hands to my head I shut my eyes tightly and yelled in my head.

* * *

I stood in the balcony of the guest room I was presently occupying. I saw several youkai wondering about in the gardens. Most of the guests were in their rooms, not sleeping I assumed. Youkai needed few hours of sleep and they need not sleep every night. I lifted my gaze towards the sky, observing the many stars that were shining tonight. The conversation I had had with Michiru lingered in my head and occupied all my senses.

A shiver ran up my body as a cool breeze passed by.

"You would think that being the observant female that you are, you'd realize that coming out at this hour requires thicker clothing."

Turning slowly, I came upon an inu youkai sitting casually over the balcony railing, one leg propped up and the other dangling over said railing. I really didn't take in his presence until I blinked several times. I made a mental note to stop letting my guard down around this youkai, familiarity or not.

"What are you doing here?" Blue eyes met violet eyes. He sighed and looked up into the sky.

He did not answer me for several minutes. I asked again. "What - "

"Gomenasai (I'm sorry), Kagome," he said, clenching his fists. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "I didn't know. If I'd known, I wouldn't have let him do that." He looked at me and the guilt shone in his eyes. He stood and stopped in front of me. "You should know that I would never intentionally hurt you, right?"

I was surprised by his actions. But most of all, I was taken aback by the immense sincerity in his aura. And at that moment, I hated myself so much. I hated myself because I understood that no matter how hard I tried (because I swear by all that I tried) that I could in no way stop the feelings of caring that this youkai inspired in me. I hated the fact that I actually _cared_ for such a creature. He was the third (the Inu no Taishou and Michiru, being the other two) – I prayed – that made me feel this way.

He embraced me out of nowhere. I stiffened, unable to comprehend his action. It wasn't until he released me, that I reacted. I pushed away a little.

"Everyone is responsible for their own actions."

He relaxed and offered me a smile in return. "Arigatou gozaimasu. Now I can finally sleep. You should rest yourself. You have a long journey ahead. I hope to see again soon." He made to leave, but my questioned stopped him.

I blurted out, "Naze (Why, _formal_)?"

With his back to me, he said, "You are a wonderful, worthy and loveable person. No one has ever been, or ever will be, quite like you. You are an individual, an original, and all those things that make you uniquely you are deserving of love and praise. _That_ is why I wish this will not be that last time we meet."

_

* * *

_

Despite the fact that Ujio hated the miko (at least that's what he kept telling himself), he had to admit that even for Sesshoumaru that had been low. To embarrass her in front of everyone like that was something only a coward did.

_He had stayed outside after dinner. He wanted to avoid being in the same room as both the miko and Sesshoumaru. It wasn't just that he didn't like either of them right now, it was also that seeing them dance earlier hadn't quite sat well with him. He couldn't explain why. Maybe it was that as troublesome as Sesshoumaru tended to be sometimes, he didn't want him with the miko._

_As he delved into his thoughts, he was interrupted by Juro coming toward him._

"_Father wishes to talk to you."_

"_Is it about the usual?" he asked in a bored tone._

"_What else would it be? Time is almost up and you refuse to take your place in the family," Juro acknowledged. _

"_You know I want none of it. Why does everyone keep pushing me into it?" His gaze darkened._

"_Because you are the rightful heir to OUR father's lands. Even Sesshoumaru has accepted that he will one day rule here in the Western Lands."_

_Ujio growled lowly. "There's still time to change that. Besides, right now, I think we have a bigger problem," he told his brother. "I think Sesshoumaru might have some kind of infatuation with the psycho-miko."_

_Juro would have replied at how absurd that sounded, but Ujio continued in his angry voice. "And so do you."_

_Juro gave him a blank stare for a second. Then, suddenly, snapped at him. "That is completely ludicrous." However, he added, "And if I did, that would be my own problem. I'm not a pup anymore that needs you to watch over him."_

"_And yet you've never had the courage to even ask M-" Ujio stopped when he saw that Juro stiffened. "Forget it," he said._

"_Ujio," he looked at his brother again. "The Inu no Taishou has taught us to be strong but fair. Even the 'psycho-miko', as you call her, deserves a chance. I know your hate for her kind. But one must recognize that had she wanted, she could kill us all right now. And the fact that she hasn't says a lot about her. Instead, she is here honoring her pact with our father and trying to be civil, given her upbringing."_

_The older inu youkai looked away. "You are always trying to see beyond what everyone really is. I just hope one day it doesn't get you in trouble." _

_Ujio covered Juro's shoulder with his hand and gave it a light squeeze. "Don't let her inside you, brother. There is so much in her that is dark that it could completely obliterate all the goodness you have."_

_Juro thought that for a minute. He hadn't considered himself good for a long time now. "There are those who would say the same about you."_

"_They don't know me."_

"_And we don't know Kagome."_

_

* * *

_

Juro returned to his room. He felt the weight of his guilt leave him. Kagome was not angry with him. The idea of her leaving and never coming back nagged at him. She inspired in him feelings that were impossible to describe. He had never known anyone like her. The need to protect her and love her was ever present in him. It confused him. And now that she was hurt he felt his inner demon rage within him.

_He had tried to tell himself all night that Sesshoumaru's actions had not been intentional, but he could not lie to himself. He knew his brother well and knew that his little retaliation was meant to hurt Kagome. He only wished he hadn't offered her to him on a silver platter._

_Sure he had brought them together to have some fun at Sesshoumaru's expense. Kagome was not one to back down and anyone with youkai blood could sense the tension between those two. However, he had to admit that introducing them had also been to aid Kagome in deciding that Sesshoumaru was NOT the one for Lady Michiru. He knew his brother did not love her and that his only aim was to have a mate who was worthy of being Lady of the West. Not that she wasn't!_

_Yet, if he was being honest with himself, he had to admit that the most important reason had nothing to do with Sesshoumaru or Kagome. The inu youkai exhaled forcefully, crawling inside his futon. He hadn't had a night's sleep for a week and a half. And the feelings in his heart only aided in making him feel more troubled than ever. Perhaps today would be as good as any to try and rest._

_He closed his eyes and the image of a beautiful female with black hair and blue eyes stared back at him. _

_If only..._

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Hope you guys enjoyed these gifts! I'm off to Mexico for a relaxing week and half, so there won't be any updates for a while! Take care and I will try to answer any reviews as soon as I can.


	21. TO ALL READERS

Dear readers,

As my first task since getting home half an hour ago, I sit down to write this to everyone:

It is with great pains that I write this notice. As most of you know, I was recently on a vacation trip. Like most people, I need some R & R once in a while.

This past Sunday, however, I decided to check the reviews on the different sites on which my story is posted. While most of the reviews were normal (and by this I mean, both good and bad reviews), many were just plain insulting.

I've **REPEATEDLY** stated that, as a writer and mature adult, I accept - and welcome - both kinds of reviews. Nevertheless, there are some reviewers out there who don't know the meaning of tact. I mean, if readers are going to tell me that my story "was not good" or "boring" OR even "lacking", then I would at least appreciate that these people express it the way it should be and NOT in a childish way! Leaving me notes that say that I should "learn to write better", "make SURE Kagome and Sesshoumaru are more like they should be or don't write at all", "think before I write" or "next time write something that doesn't bore the hell out of them", is not being tactful!

And let me just say that those were some of the mild ones!

What makes me angry is not WHAT was written, but WHO wrote them! Some of those "reviewers" who left those messages were 12-year-old kids that can't write if their life depended on it! Most of them have never even written anything themselves! Others ranted but only signed "anonymous". What the hell is that?! If they are going to dish at me, then at least have the gall to sign your freaking name!

If someone leaves a bad review, I think I've let everyone know that this kind of criticism is not necessarily bad to me. One thing that I've learned as a writer, is that with the good comes the bad. And tasteful criticism helps in keeping you grounded.

But there is a fine line between these things.

Just like the fact that if someone doesn't like my story...then...STOP READING IT!! Please be mature and don't leave complain after complain in each chapter! No one is forcing or putting a gun to anyone's head to read this story.

Any of my readers (and there are some) who know me personally, know that I am the most patient and accepting person in the world. That in no way means that I will let anyone disrespect myself and/or my work. Any writer, who has done me the honor of reading my story, knows that it takes SO MUCH work and dedication to put into words what you envision. That it's hard to portray to readers what you 'see'. And, even harder to try and please everyone.

And, on that note... I want to express **FOR THE LAST TIME**... that this is an alternate universe. I've tried to go beyond the norm, beyond the usual and beyond the reality of the anime. The personalities of my characters are the way they are for A PARTICULAR REASON. Time and time again, I've stated that this first installment of my trilogy is **PRE-ANIME**!! So, for any who still tell me the same thing about Kagome and Sesshoumaru... this means that both characters ARE NOT and CANNOT be the same! With that in mind, it is only logical that they will, at some point in my ENTIRE trilogy, be their same old selves. So, please refrain from TELLING or ASKING WHY these characters are not themselves! I WON'T ANSWER ANYTHING IN RESPECT TO THIS ISSUE ANY LONGER!

However...

I am in no way an ingrate. I do appreciate - and thank - all those reviewers who suggest changes and correct me on a particular grammar error. I'm only human and do tend to make mistakes!

It makes me feel so good when I get reviews that say "how mad they are at a certain character" or "hope that a specific thing will happen or didn't happen". It just shows how involved with your story readers can get. I love it when I read a message that tells me that despite certain deviations in characters, they will continue to read my story! Even that one or two reviews where a reader praises your effort but cannot find a liking to your fanfic!

Those are the reviews that build you up! That makes all those horrible ones seem like nothing!

Like a realist, I don't expect everyone to enjoy or like my story. I just expect some form of respect just like a try to give it back.

As for now, I'm still trying to get over my anger. Because, unfortunately, yes... I am way past angry right now! It's hard! At one point, I was willing to just completely forget about continuing my story and only letting a few selected reviewers receive the rest of my story. But then I came to my senses (about two seconds later) and realized that that was stupid and cowardly on my behalf. I'd like to think that I'm better than that.

For now, I can only hope for the best in the future.

And now that I've finally vented (which was overdue, really)...

Updates should return by this weekend. I'm still not sure. It depends, I guess, on how less angry I still am...

A very disappointed,

Fallenarchangel a.k.a WhiteLotus a.k.a 4TheLoveOfInu


	22. Chapter 21

_**His love was passion's essence - as a tree**_

_**On fire by lightning; with ethereal flame**_

_**Kindled he was, and blasted; for to be**_

_**Thus, and enamored, were in him the same.**_

_**- Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto III**_

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CHAPTER 20

We found Hiro with his health. Because the egotistical inu youkai had left the western castle after the talk with the Southern Lord, I was saved from having to deal with seeing him again. But just to appease the worries of the Daiyoukai, we left until the morning after.

The trip back home was faster since we did not stop, except to relieve our bodies. Once in the security of my "home", I took the time to assess the past incidents. Sitting in front of the small lake in the imperial palace garden, I kept turning in my head all the events involving the demon prince.

First, there was my response to his person. As much as I hated to admit, he made me feel things that I had never experienced. My body reacted to him with an intensity that surprised me. It wasn't like me to be attracted to anyone. But I actually wanted to reach out and touch him. It was a prickly sensation at the bottom of my stomach. It did not bother me exactly. And _that_ never happened.

"Ugh! What the hell is wrong with me Kirara?" I threw myself back on the grass.

'_Maybe you're going soft. Kami knows I would have killed him if I had been there. I don't know what was stopping you.'_

"Stupid Sesshoumaru! I should have purified you." I said angrily.

'_Should have... but didn't.'_

And that was it. I should have denied his request. I should have walked away. _I should have stepped harder on him._ So many other possibilities I did not consider earlier. _Should have... but didn't._

Worst of all, I was still feeling the side effects of his touch. My entire body still burned where his hands were placed. Secondly, I had yet to understand why I did not agree to his mating with Michiru. I know I was truthful in saying that he was not the most faithful of males, but something told me that once he found the woman or demoness in this case, whom he wanted to spend the rest of his existence, that he would actually settle down.

_And so the blind are enlightened!_

"I do not want him to settle down – either with Michiru or with any other woman." I whispered. I exhaled forcefully and sat up.

'_This can't be right. You're a miko. You're not supposed to have feelings for a demon. Quite the contrary. You're supposed to kill them_,' _growled Kirara._

"Maybe... just maybe, what I was feeling was normal. Well, not completely normal. After all, I've never been attracted to any male before. A reaction such as mine to his touch is only normal. Had he been a mortal man, it would be safe to assume that I would have reacted the same. He is an experienced male. Things like these are second nature to him."

Scooping up Kirara and cupping her small head I told her, "So there you have it. I don't have feelings towards that baka prince. I'm simply reacting like any normal young girl to the actions of a male." I nodded and accepted my own answer.

It did not last long. Another frown formed in my face. "Then why do I loathe another male's touch?"

'_Oh for the love of Amaterasu―'_ she stopped and jumped away from me. _'I'll come back when you get your head checked.'_ I waved her off, not really paying any attention to her tantrum.

Kami knew that I had had several other males come to the palace door asking to court me. Not that I thought myself a raging beauty, but I did seem to attract a few men. Some were young, while others were old enough to be my father. Luckily, my own father's over protectiveness came in handy. According to tradition, I was at an appropriate age to wed. Well, and being the emperor's only heir, it was only natural that I marry someone already. The crown would one day fall in my hands or rather in the hands of my husband.

My father did allow a handful of those suitors to visit me within the palace walls. I would sit with them here in the garden and converse. Most of these men were nobles so all they talked about was money, clothing, and all those materialistic things. I left the talking to them, since it was only appropriate for a woman to answer their questions as politely as possible. _Yeah right!_ It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes in frustration. Each one of them was as boring as the next.

It seemed, I concluded, that they all expected three things from me. One: I was expected to stay quietly in the background while they ruled. Two: I was supposed to relinquish my miko duties (being married meant I would no longer be pure, hence I could not purify anything) and therefore settle for a life of motherhood. Third: and to this I almost laughed my head off, I was expected to succumb to their every sexual fetish – every night!

_Like any of that was going to happen_.

Fortunately, some of them would get the hint of my actions and leave, never to return. Several of the thick headed ones would go as far as 'pretend' to brush off imaginary flower petals from my person. They never got the opportunity though. Either I would beat the living day lights out of them or Hiro, who would always be standing guard in the shadows, would drag them out.

And that brought me down to Hiro. I didn't take much to notice that he was completely and utterly in love with me. Even as children, he would follow me like a dog. He hadn't confessed anything to me yet. There were times when he seemed to find the courage, only to have him stutter like an idiot when I "smiled" at him. It was pretty low of me to do this to him knowing well how he would react. I just didn't want to hear it.

Discovering the truth about his constant attachment instantly after my return from the monastery, I humored him. Yet his attentions never arose in me the same feelings the stupid demon had.

Urgh! What's more was that the lingering feeling of betrayal was heavy in my heart. I shouldn't feel like this. I shouldn't let him get to me or show him that he had. But the truth was that he had. I didn't ever want to share that with anyone who didn't already know. What right did he have?

Sensing the first effect of a headache forming, I walked back to my room. There, in the confines of my space, I laid down, exhausted. My eyes closed of their own accord, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

**DREAM**

I was standing at the edge of a forest looking at a field covered in moon flowers. Running towards them, I was laughing as I came down the hill. The force of my sprints caused my foot to tangle itself in a root. Extending my arms to soften the fall, I shut my eyes.

My body never fell. I felt two arms encircle my waist. Opening my eyes, I looked back to the owner of the pale arms. Even though I still could not see his face, I always knew who he was. I smiled up to him and reached around him. I rested my head on his chest.

He was warm and I could hear the drumming of his heart. His embrace tightened and all thoughts ceased. He spoke to me and I heard the vibration of his voice on his toned chest. "Come back to me. I need you."

Again, I looked up to him and I saw the sadness.

**END OF DREAM**

The more the dreams and the further I delved into them, the more aware I was of my complete opposite personalities. Awake, I was like ice ― cold, impenetrable, a slave. Asleep, however, I was like fire ― warm, receptive, free. These dreams, though, did substitute the nightmares, if only for some times.

And as the dreams continued, I also realized that whatever connection I had with this "nightly visitor", it was strong.

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1204 A.D. APRIL

_Twenty one days..._

_It had been twenty one days since the entire feast incident. One would think that he'd be feeling better since she was gone permanently from his life. But, honestly, it felt like part of him was missing. The fact that his father had practically disowned him for what he did to the miko did not help things._

_The Inu no Taishou had lectured him for hours on end. But nothing could compare to the look of treachery in her eyes. Those breathtaking lavender eyes that withheld so many things that he was eager to explore. Those eyes that now haunted his every dream._

_Every night, she was there. She would be standing in the middle of the garden, wearing that stunning maroon kimono that had his youkai roaring like a lion in a cage. Kagome would look at him and fall apart. Sesshoumaru would awaken to her cries. _

_He had left right after the talk with his chichi-ue and the southern lord. Goes without saying that the talk had gone exactly the opposite way he had hoped. Lady Michiru had made her decision and she did not want to be his mate._

_That should have been what was bothering him. The most beautiful and intelligent demoness had denounced his proposal to be his mate. He should be devastated._

_Instead, his entire mind seemed to focus on her._

_Minamoto Kagome._

_The bane of his existence._

_And the object of his desires._

_All at once._

_Add to that, that he had returned just two days later to find a completely infuriated Juro. He didn't have to guess as to why he was that way. Sesshoumaru, too, was upset with the older inu youkai. When they had bumped into each other, literally (and not accidentally), he had been momentarily shocked to find the scent of the miko on Juro. The scent was impregnated in his brother's skin; almost like he had held her for a long period. He hadn't been able to suppress the growl he emitted at the thought._

_With a yawn, Sesshoumaru got up from behind his desk and stretched him arms. It was definitely time for bed. With any luck, he'd fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. The last thing he wanted was to find himself staring at the ceiling, thinking of Kagome._

_And of all the things he wanted to do to Kagome. _

_He fought the most ridiculous impulse to leap forward from his futon and seek her out. Because that elusive spark – the one so noticeably absent with Lady Michiru, whom he still intended to mate – crackled and burned so strongly it seemed the room ought to be as light as day._

_Yet, he knew he had to go see her. He was partially aware that he didn't usually react like this. Of course, he'd been suffering through a nearly six-month drought, but this lust, this hunger, was new. And it was hunger for __**her**__ – not some nameless, faceless female to satisfy his needs. Where once any attractive, semi-interesting female would have served, though, Sesshoumaru didn't want to ease his frustrated lust on some other woman._

_The low flowing, heat in his veins was for one woman in particular. The sensation invigorated him, made him feel more aware – more alive – than he could remember feeling in years. In her presence, seeing her and talking with her and being unable to touch her as he wanted, the torture was exquisite and only bearable because he'd already promised himself that he would have her._

_Whatever it took, he would have Minamoto Kagome as his mistress. He didn't want anyone else, and he wouldn't accept that she might choose to decline the offer now that he knew what she liked, and he would simply convince her. He half closed his eyes, conjuring the kuchinashi scent of her hair and the feel of her soft smooth skin beneath his fingers. This when he'd had so many lovers he couldn't even name them all, and when most of the time he felt little more than bored. It was maddening; to want the miko so badly that he practically came all the times he had set eyes on her, and to know he was a fool to do so. She didn't know how to play this game, obviously, and teaching her was going to take time. Lifting her kimono and taking her against some wall wouldn't be enough any longer; no, Lady Kagome needed a very thorough education. Perhaps he could make himself her next work and cure himself of his odd desire for her before she realized what he was up to. He certainly had tensions only she could ease. _

_Hell, he was going to have to see her some day. She did have an allegiance with his father, so avoiding her would be out of the question. The least he could do was make things as uncomfortable as possible. _

_Educating, Kagome was going to be very pleasurable, indeed. So, he would go see her and set things straight... in four days._


	23. Chapter 22

_**Sincerity may be humble but she cannot be servile.**_

_**- Lord Byron, letter, May 29, 1823**_

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CHAPTER 21

**1204 A.D. MID JULY**

_Alright... so it had been more than four days since he decided to go and seek the hime._

_More like four months. Well, almost four months._

_He just couldn't bring himself to face her. But now that he actually made himself walk out of the castle and make his way to the imperial city, he was having second thoughts. If she was still holding a grudge (which he knew from experience that she would), then he'd have a reason to stay away from her._

_Sesshoumaru did not wake up this morning saying 'Hey, I think I feel like getting purified today!'_

_Thus far he had made it to the edge of the hills surrounding the village. He first needed to locate her. It wouldn't be hard since her scent was enticingly unique. Next, he needed to go over what he was going to tell her, which fortunately for her, he had already done._

_Lifting his nose slightly, he let his nose pick up the fragrance of lilies and gardenias. Finding her trail, he walked unhurriedly. Turning the bark of a tree, and then he saw..._

_Her._

_Lady Kagome had gone back to her usual black chihaya. She was standing beside a decorative wood arch, which, later in the year, he guessed would be covered with climbing different colored sakura._

_He watched her for a moment as she trailed her fingers along some fuzzy plant he could never remember the name of, and then bent down to sniff at a lotus. _

"_They don't have a scent," he called out, slowly making his way towards her._

* * *

About a quarter of an hour after we returned from offering our prayers at the temple, Lana and I headed towards the castle. It was only midday and I wasn't much in the mood to stay cooped up, so I told her I might stroll back to the village and buy some more cloth for a new chihaya. The one I was wearing was the only one still intact.

When I was sure I was well out of sight, I sought the peace of the hills that surrounded the village. I had recently discovered a wonderful spot some distance away from the last home outlining the imperial city. It had a field covered in different kinds of flowers that also included some huge trees that offered some shade from the sun.

Reaching my destination, I hurried to a set of trees that formed an arch. Their branches had small buds of sakura. My eyes caught sight of some lotus – my favorite flower.

"They don't have a scent."

I straightened immediately, my entire body reacting before I saw him. I'm sure he noticed that I recognized his voice, which, by his facial expression, was feeling rather oddly satisfied. As he approached my side, he motioned to the brilliant white bloom and said, "There lovely and the most perfect, but alas, with no perfume."

Remaining utterly still, I brought my eyes to his. My eyes blazed with hatred... with disdain. I waited longer to reply than he would have expected, then I said, "What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk."

"I think we have said all we needed to say to each other." I turned on my heels towards the castle.

Before I disappeared into the forest, he quickly spoke. "I meant to embarrass you. To make you understand that you could never hope to meddle in my affairs and win, and instead... "

I could feel myself begin to shake, and I held on to a tree trunk for dear life. "You, demon," I spat out, "have no honor."

One of his hands shot out to grab my wrist. He held me that way for several seconds, forcing me to stay where I was with my back to him. The skin on my arms was burning where his powerful fingers held me motionless.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he added softly.

Forcing my head to turn, I asked, "Didn't you?"

He gave his head a small shake. "No. To teach you a lesson, perhaps. But not to hurt you."

I stepped backward on shaky legs. "You're nothing but a liar," I said, wishing my voice had emerged with a bit more scorn and a bit less quavering. I shook my head in disappointment.

Sesshoumaru did not speak for a very long moment, long enough so that the silence rang awkwardly.

When I spoke, my words were quiet and true. "I will tell you this much and I hope it is the last I will have say to you. Because I have offered a truce to the western lands, it is only natural that I will have to make an appearance before your father in the near future. You are part of the western lands and therefore I owe you too my allegiance in battle. However, if there is no absolutely urgent reason for us to stand in each other's presence, we shall not do so."

He said nothing and just watched as I walked away. I came to a halt but did not come around to see him.

"You took something from me that night. I don't know if I can ever forgive you..." I paused feeling the huge lump in my throat forming. Swallowing hard I whispered, "I hate you."

* * *

"_I hate you."_

_Sesshoumaru tried to ignore her last words, which continued to cause some painful commotion in the vicinity of his chest. Something unpleasant squeezed around his heart. He gritted his teeth. He wanted to get down on one knee, apologize for his conduct and beg her forgiveness. Her words were like blows, almost inaudible. He leaned with one hand on the trunk she had also been leaning on. _

"_Doushite (Why)?" It was meant to be a mental question, but the word left his lips without his notice._

'_How can you make me feel so disgusted with myself?' Sesshoumaru knew the answer._

'_What is it that – ' _

_He was cut off when he felt the all familiar sensation of a nearing youki. It wasn't a strong youki, but it still worried him. Mainly because he had seen a few children playing not far from where he stood. The mortal children were unattended. _

_This piece of information was not as important as for the fact that he could bet Lady Kagome would head in that direction. She was still close by. In her present emotional condition, she would probably be too distracted to notice and if she did then it would probably be seconds too late. His anger rose at the notion of finding her hurt._

_At that last thought, he dashed in the direction of the youkai._

_

* * *

_

She felt awful for what she told him. Yes, she had been angry at his boldness in coming to see her. Nevertheless, she could not ignore the numerous flips her heart had made when she heard Sesshoumaru's smooth voice. But her pain was still there. Kagome was too wrapped up in her own world that she did not heed that little warning in her stomach that always told her of incoming danger.

_The snake youkai clutched her entire body into an agonizing squeeze. The breath from her lungs was quickly leaving her and she had yet to recognize what was cutting out her air supply. The children, which she had not seen there before, began crying. She stopped squirming just enough to call out her miko energy._

'_Damn it all! She needed to get the children to safety!'_

_Hissing from the burning her purification powers were causing, the snake bared its fangs and bit down on her shoulder. The venom advanced rapidly inside and the force of her_ _aura was diminishing fast. Intense heat overtook her body and she felt herself swirling – fading._

_Another youki, stronger this time, entered the small clearing. _

_Great! Just what she needed. Another demon._

_With a loud dull sound, she hit the ground. Someone picked her up. Whoever it was, was calling her. The person pulled her to their chest and a scent invaded her nose. Kagome closed her eyes and took in the calming smell. It was familiar – crisp mountain air after the rain. Wide eyes opened, to recognize their savior._

"_Sesshoumaru?! The children..."_

"_Sshh. Don't speak. Let the air in your lungs come back." Somehow his voice sent ripples of tranquility throughout her body._

_He laid her down, careful of not obstructing her breathing. He made sure she was well out of danger prior to leaving her. He leapt in front the children that were hunched under a bush._

"_Zurakaru (Run away)," his voice commanded. The children did not think twice when they headed back to the safety of their homes._

_Once they were gone. He paced to the agonizing youkai that dared to harm his Kagome. 'Wait. Did he just call her __**his**__?'_

'_No time for this.'_

_It was laughing. This only fueled his fury. He let his poison emerge from his fingers. Smirking at the dying demon, he squatted and talked through gritted teeth. "You have injured one of the allies to the western lands. You will regret that." _

_Letting out a harder laugh, the snake retorted, "I'm going down but... I'm taking her down with me."_

_Sesshoumaru's eyes glowed red and he sank his claws into the demon's eyes. Watching with pride as his weak opponent wrestled the poison, he stood up. A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. Rotating slowly towards Kagome's direction, he stiffened at the sight._

_Little by little another youkai snake was creeping towards her. It had already curled its head back to strike and its fangs were oozing clear venom. Sesshoumaru looked at her. She was still sitting near the rock he left her, with her head turned to the side. Her eyes were closed. If his heightened hearing didn't catch her air intake, he could swear she was dead._

_He didn't know why that last thought made him even angrier, but he positioned himself soundlessly to jump at the snake. With his own poison already seeping out of his claws, he growled._

_Running with blinding fury at the demon, he caught it just before it assaulted her. He flew up trying to fall on him, but the youkai stopped him in mid air, enveloping the demon prince just like the other snake did to Kagome._

_Gripping the snake's head and embedding his claws, he let his own venom run inside the small holes made by his claws. Sesshoumaru struggled to free his body from the clutches of the demon. The air was leaving him all too quickly and he felt his own body going limp._

'_At least she is safe,' he thought. _

'_But when it kills you, he'll go after her.' Another voice in his head replied._

"_Kagome..." he murmured. And as fast as the air had escaped his lungs, it came back. The snake had dissipated and he was being brought down to the ground. He half-opened his eyes and the last thing he saw was Kagome's silver eyes._

* * *

My mind was spinning like crazy. I supposed the poison that was being pushed out of my body was the cause. I thanked Kami for whatever it was that had saved me. And then...

_Sesshoumaru!_

I opened my eyes to see him slowly closing his red eyes. My heart's beating was racing and the only thing that was important now was making sure he was okay. But my body was too exhausted, too hurt.

Panting, I shut my eyes and let my anger guide me. "Please," I begged, "save him"

It seemed to work because when I opened my eyes he was lying unconscious on the ground. I don't know how, but I moved towards him. Checking frantically for physical wounds, I saw the gentle rise of his chest. I let out the breath I had been holding.

I pushed myself off the floor with every intent to leave the youkai there. The venom from the bite was slowly being purified from my body. Still, the pain was so harsh it took my breath and sent shivers down my entire body. No sane person would try to move after such ordeal. So it was a good thing I was insane. Grinding my teeth, I began the long walk to my makeshift home.

"Kagome?" I cursed as I heard Sesshoumaru's weakened voice.

_Don't answer. Don't look._

But it was compulsory. I glanced back before I could stop myself and there he was, bloodied and pale in the ground.

_Leave him. He should have stayed in his home where he was wanted._

I couldn't. He was helpless, alone and I wouldn't leave him outside to die. Mumbling a fetid curse that would have made the devil cringe, I went to his side. I picked him up roughly and threw him over my shoulder.

Much to my dismay, the guy was too well built. He practically weighed a ton. If not for my years of training, I would have probably collapsed quite a while ago.

One hour and about thirty liters of sweat later, I reached my personal dojo in the heart of the forest. I slid the door open and called out for any wondering person that was stupid enough to try to make it their temporary home. No one came out, so I stepped in and dropped him like a rock. I gasped for much needed air and crawled to the blankets at the corner of the room.

I turned Sesshoumaru on his back. Thankfully, he hadn't woken up. I picked up one of the blankets and covered him with it. The back of my hand accidentally brushed his. The demon was ice cold! I would need more blankets to keep his temperature from going down more. Unfolding the rest of the sheets, I put one on top of the other. I gazed at him and couldn't help putting my hand on his face. He looked so handsome when he wasn't being smug.

Night came and the demon prince was still unconscious and cold. I was starting to worry. To use any of my power would mean that I would purify him, so I did not opt for that. Fortunately, for him, the youkai snake did not bite him too deep and only some poison was in his system. His youkai blood should be able to help him survive.

The sound of footsteps alerted me to an incoming presence. Judging by the aura, it was human and it was coming directly towards us. Running towards the door, I slid it open and stepped outside.

_Lana._

"Oh dear child! We've been looking everywhere for you. The children told us what happened. What are you doing here? Are you alright? IS THAT BLOOD ON YOU ARM?!" She was shaking when she reached my side.

Giving her an odd look, I said, "Calm down Lana. I am alive, aren't I ?" sliding open my haori for her to see. "It's nothing. Now go back to the castle and tell everyone that I am fine. I just want to be alone right now." I practically pushed her away.

"B-but why?"

I was already stepping back inside the dojo and waving Lana off, when we were both stopped in our tracks by a groan. She looked at me and glared.

"MINAMOTO KAGOME, what or rather whom are you hiding?" she scowled.

"Ano (similar to the English _umm_)...No one?" I gave her a wide smile.

"Now I know you're hiding something from me," she said pushing me aside and walking in. Lana gasped when she saw a bulge moving in the far corner of the room. Creeping ever so lightly, she moved closer to the source of the low grunts.

"Kagome!" she yelled turning to me with a pale face. "Just what do you think you're doing with this... this... this... _demon_ here?" A look of horror painted in her countenance.

"Will you relax and keep your voice down?" I whispered heading towards her.

"No I will not relax! This _thing_ needs to leave. After what he did to you, you're _helping_ him?" She stood with her hands in her hips. She then opened her eyes wider and then squeaked, "Is he the one responsible for your wounds? Because if he is – "

"No Lana." I saw her look confused. "Unfortunately, he was the one who saved me." I angrily retorted.

"He did?"

"Hai"

"Doushite?" She turned back to look at Sesshoumaru.

"Shirimasen (I don't know the answer to that question). But as soon as he gets up, I'm kicking him out."

"No you will not." She crossed the room looking for Kami knows what. "I taught you better. You will see him until he is able to return safely to his lands. Do you understand?"

My mouth dropped. "I thought you wanted to get rid of him?!"

"What exactly is wrong with him?" she replied completely ignoring my question and kneeling next to him.

I sighed and answered, "His temperature is dropping. He was bitten by a youkai snake and some poison got in. I would have already cured him if not for his demon blood already mixing with the venom. I run the risk of killing him in the process of removing the poison from his blood. All I can do is keep him as warm as possible and hope he can fight off the venom."

Lana touched his forehead. "You say his body temperature dropped?"

"Hai. Since he is youkai, I suppose that is one of the side effects. Funny though, I would think his temperature would instead rise."

"Perhaps." She searched my face and asked, "Are you really okay?"

I knew why she was asking. It was only natural after seeing how the prince reacted. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well, I shall go back to the castle and bring you some items to pass the night. I know it will be useless to argue with you." She left without another word.

Half an hour later, she was back with some heavy blankets, another two candles, food and water, two sleeping yukata (male and female) and fresh clothes. She dropped the items close to where we were and said, "I will be back in the morning. I trust you will behave yourself?"

"I would never – " I closed my mouth when I saw the glint in her eyes. I shook my head in disapproval. "Oyasumi nasai."

"Oyasumi nasai princess. Your father sends his best wishes for a good night sleep."

"What did you tell my otou-san?"

"Simply that you were furious for letting your guard down and wished to be left alone while you trained the night out. Kami knows how odd your moods can be!"

"Yeah, well you should be used to them by now."

"You don't scare me _Lady _Kagome. So you can just check your attitude at the door and be nice for once in your life." She walked out and closed the door. I glared at where she stood. I could hear her laughing.

I went back to kneel beside the grunting demon. I brought my fingers to my temples. I rubbed them in circular motion trying to ease the headache caused by the after effects of the poison. Had I told Lana about this, she would have made a great deal and not left.

I pulled my torn haori off and used it to contain the blood on my right arm, neck and shoulder where the snake had shredded my skin with its fangs. I could barely contain my fury for I hadn't been wounded this many times in a single hour since my days at the monastery. Snarling I stared at the swollen red flesh. I hated to be wounded.

_I wanted blood_.

Just one taste of him...

Willing the thought away, I shut my eyes close for a few seconds before opening them again. I leaned in closer and his aroma forced my eyes shut once more. Kami, he smelled good! I sat up straight and pulled back the blankets. I began removing his hitatare, but stopped when I saw how toned his upper body was. A blush that appeared on my face, spread throughout my entire body.

'_How do you do this to me?'_

It was then that an idea crossed my mind and my blush sharpened. This wasn't the best idea given my 'relationship' with the demon, but it was the best way to save him. Hopefully, he wouldn't wake up until after I got up in the morning.

Carefully and keeping my eyes on Sesshoumaru's face, I stripped quietly out of my chihaya. I grabbed the thin yukata and put it on loosely for now. I closed my eyes and continued as quickly as possible to rid him of his clothing. I could at least save him some modesty. Once I made sure all was gone, I slipped in next to him and removed my own yukata leaving on only my susuyoke and hadajuban.

For Kami's sake, I hadn't even touched him and my heart was ready to burst out of my chest and my breathing had quickened!

Slowly I lowered myself and closed the few inches that separated us. As soon as I felt his cold skin, my body seemed to weaken. I turned to face him, and I put a trembling hand on his chest. He shivered and groaned. Regrettably, he moved in toward me. I guess the warmth of my body brought him some comfort because the next thing I knew, I was being pulled from my waist.

I was gasping for air. There wasn't any reason for this reaction. Except the fact that I was being held extremely close to a male demon that made my body feel like it was on fire. A male demon who was none other than Lord Sesshoumaru. His hand began to caress the small of my back and I couldn't help a moan that escaped my lips.

The next thing I knew, he had turned on his back, pulling me with him. Half of my body was on top of him and my leg was rubbing against something hard...

Oh my!

I dragged my leg back, but kept my hand to his chest. For some stupid reason, my body didn't want to listen to my mind that was screaming, _'Get the hell out and run home!'. _What made it even worst was that he brought his other hand to my shoulder and tightened his embrace. He then turned his face and buried his nose in my hair and inhaled.

'_For your sake, I hope your still unconscious and don't know what you're doing!' I thought._

The gentle rumbling on his chest ceased all thoughts. As if it had a mind of its own I watched as my leg intertwined with his. I was about to pull it back again when...

"Kagome," I stiffened. I bit down on my lip nervously searching in my mind for an excuse to give him about our current situation.

His velvety voice came again. "Kagome, no. Michiru, please, don't leave!" My head was spinning so fast and were it not for the fact that I was already on the floor, I would have fainted. _He yearns for Michiru_ Somehow, it hurt that he dreamt of her. Even in his present state, he could not but think of her.

I raised my head to look at his face. _Well, what did you expect? For him to dream of you? Unlikely!_

Not being able to stop myself, I smiled. Well, it's not like he was going to remember any of this anyways. And I was going to get up earlier than him so I let sleep take over and I offered my body heat.


	24. Chapter 24

_**Pleasure's a sin and sometimes sin's a pleasure.**_

_**-Lord Byron, Don Juan**_

**

* * *

**

CHAPTER 22

_Sesshoumaru awoke to the intense drumming in his head. He remembered being in a fight with another demon in an effort to save..._

_Lady Kagome!_

_He was about to jolt up, when he suddenly became aware of a light hand across his chest and the warmth of a small body pressed to him. Following the hand up to see who was the owner of the appendage, he noticed the milky smooth skin, bronze shoulder-length hair, the fragrance of lilies and gardenias..._

'_LILIES AND GARDENIAS?!' Wait a minute. There was only one person he knew had that scent._

_Lady Kagome._

_He let his gaze fall upon the miko's face. She was at the moment, sound asleep in his arms. He smirked. Lifting a little the many blankets that covered them, he noticed that she wasn't completely naked – unfortunately. Surveying his surroundings, he observed that they were in a large dojo and that it was still dark outside – not for long though._

_He searched his mind for an answer to his awkward position. Sesshoumaru knew they hadn't had sex. He was more than sure he'd remember doing THAT with her. So, the question was what exactly HAD they done? Unintentionally, he brought her closer and kissed the top of her head. Her scent washed all over him and he could not help but sigh. _

_Looking down on her again, he let himself enjoy her and wait for the many other questions that still lingered in his head. It surprised him how much his youkai cared for this small woman and how holding her like this was as pleasing as the thought of mating her. He could easily take her now. Nobody would know. Yet, his demon was willing to wait. Sesshoumaru knew that, in the end, it would be worth it. She would be worth it._

_He watched Kagome until the first rays of the sun crept into the crack outlining the door. The morning light basked her figure. She was positively glowing with beauty. He felt her shift to a more comfortable position until her eyes began to flutter open._

_When Kagome's eyes were completely open, she paled when she saw two golden eyes staring down at her with amusement._

* * *

"Ohayou mate. I trust our night of passion was as great for you as it was for me." He grinned and turned on his side so his face was right next to my ear.

"N-nani? Mate?" I stuttered. With both my hands, I pushed at his chest and so I was now also on my side facing him.

"Are you trying to tell me that you don't remember the most amazing night of our lives?" A hurt look appeared on his face, before he burst out in a hysterical laugh.

"Oh you... you... stupid demon!"

"Stupid?"

"Hai. What the hell were you thinking? That was not funny. For a moment there I thought we had... you know?" Again that stupid blush.

"Don't flatter yourself. I would never take advantage of a girl. Especially one that has no experience," he said while he lay back once more.

"_Please_, don't flatter _yourself_! Besides, I'm pretty sure that even if we had done it, it couldn't have been that good for me not to remember."

Sesshoumaru moved too quickly for me to stop him. He had turned towards me and was very, very close. I gulped and sucked in a breath. He leaned in further and began to place butterfly kisses on my neck I knew his proximity was deliberate, that he sought to intimidate rather than seduce, but that didn't do anything to quell the frantic beating of my heart.

"Believe me, Lady Kagome," he trailed more kisses up my neck and down to my shoulder, "when I tell you that if I had made love to you, there is _no_ possible way you would forget."

My lips parted, but I couldn't have uttered a word if my life depended on it. I breathed when he paused, stopped when he moved.

Sesshoumaru's finger slid along the line of my jaw and asked, "Don't you think so?"

I tried to shake my head, but my muscles refused to obey.

"Are you sure?"

This time, my head betrayed me and gave a little shake. He smiled and we both knew he had won.

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru knew he had to be insane

.

_There could be no other explanation._

_He kissed her._

_Intimidation had been his intention, and so he'd moved closer and closer until she, an innocent, only cowed by his presence. She wouldn't know what it was like to have a male so near that the heat of his body seeped through her skin, so close that she couldn't tell where his breath ended and hers began._

_She wouldn't recognize the first prickles of desire, nor would she understand that slow, swirling heat in the core of her being. And the slow swirling heat of arousal was there. He could smell it and see it on her face._

_But she, a complete innocent, would never comprehend what he could see with one look of his experienced eyes. All she would know was that he was looming over her, that he was stronger, more powerful, and that she had a made a dreadful mistake in removing their clothes._

_He was going to stop right there and leave her bothered and breathless. But when there was barely an inch between them, the pull grew too strong. Her scent was too beguiling, the sound of her breath too arousing. The prickles of desire he'd meant to spark within her suddenly ignited within him, sending a warm claw of need to the very tips of his toes. And the finger he'd been trailing along her cheek – just to torture her, he told himself – suddenly became a claw that cupped the back of her head as his lips took hers in an explosion of anger and desire._

_Kagome gasped against his mouth and he took advantage of her parted lips by sliding his tongue between them. She was stiff in his arms, but it seemed more to do with surprise_ _than anything else, and so Sesshoumaru pressed his suit further by allowing his hands to slide down her side and rest one against the curve of her hip._

"_This is madness," he whispered against her ear. But he made no move to let her go._

_Her reply was an incoherent, confused moan, and her body became more pliant in his arms, allowing him to mold her even closer to his form. He knew he should stop, knew he damned well shouldn't have started, but his youkai was begging to be released, and she felt so... so..._

_So good._

_He groaned, his lips leaving hers to taste the sweet honey skin of her neck once more. There was something about her that suited him like no female ever had before, as if his body discovered something his mind utterly refused to consider._

_Everything about Kagome was... perfect._

_She felt perfect. She smelled perfect. She tasted perfect. And he knew that if he removed the thick blanket that was shielding her skin and took her there on the floor of the room, she would fit underneath him, fit around him – just perfect._

_It occurred to Sesshoumaru that when she wasn't arguing with him, Minamoto Kagome might bloody well be the finest woman in Nihon._

_Her arms, which had been imprisoned in his embrace, slowly edged up, until her hands were hesitantly resting on his back. And then her lips moved. It was a tiny thing, actually, a movement barely felt on the thin skin of his forehead, but she was definitely kissing him back._

_A low, triumphant growl emerged from Sesshoumaru's mouth as he moved his mouth back to hers, kissing her fiercely, daring her to continue what she'd begun. "Oh Kagome," he moaned, towering over her until he was hovering over her body. "Kami, you taste so good."_

"_Ohayou, Lady Kagome?" came the voice of the man from outside. "Are you awake?"_

"_Sesshoumaru?" Her voice was tremulous, the word more of a question than anything else._

"_Don't say anything," he whispered. "Whatever you do, don't say anything." Eyes closed and forehead against hers, he panted._

"_But – "_

"_Not a word," he interrupted, pressing a finger to her lips. The last thing he wanted was for her to ruin this perfectly good moment by opening her mouth and arguing._

"_But I – " She planted her hands on his chest and wrenched herself away, leaving him off balance and panting._

_Sesshoumaru let out a curse, and not a mild one._

_Kagome scurried away, not all the way across the room, pulling one of the yukata over her body. She gripped the edges closer, and then darted towards the door, thinking that it might be a good idea to have a nice wide space between them._

"_Why did you do that?" she asked, her voice so low it was almost a whisper. _

_He shrugged, suddenly looking a little less angry and little more uncaring. "Because I wanted to."_

_Kagome just gaped at him for a moment, unable to believe that he could have such a simple answer to what was despite its simple phrasing, such a complicated question._ _Finally, she blurted out, "But you can't have."_

_He smiled. Slowly. "But I did."_

"_But you don't like me!"_

"_True," he allowed._

"_And I don't like you."_

"_So you've been telling me," he said smoothly. "I'll have to take your word for it, since it wasn't particularly apparent a few seconds ago."_

_Kagome felt her cheeks flush with anger. She had responded to his wicked kiss, and she hated him almost as much as she hated herself for initiating the intimacy. It had been her idea to sleep with him in semi-nude after all._

_But he didn't have to taunt her. That was the act of a bastard. She gripped her yukata until her knuckles turned white, no longer certain if she was using it as a defense against Sesshoumaru or as a means to stop herself from lunging forward to strangle him._

_The voice called again. "Kagome-chan, wake up!"_

* * *

"Just a moment Hiro, I am not dressed." Sesshoumaru's evil smile widened when he had heard what I replied.

I closed my eyes and breathed in trying to quench my anger. I picked up my pants and put them on before I dropped the yukata and reached for my shirt. Some of the pain was still there but I ignored it. There was a slight breeze that crept up my uncovered back. Tying the knots on my chihaya, I moved back again towards him and knelt in front of him, lifting my hand to his face. He jerked back.

"Hold still. I am merely trying to make sure your temperature is back to normal."

"Hm. I didn't know you were worried about me," he murmured.

"I'm not. I just need you to be well so you can go back to playing prince in your castle." I crawled to him. He made no more movement and let my hand check him, following me with his gaze.

I stood and went around him recalling his punctured back. I touched his skin and asked him to lie on his back. He hesitated, mumbling something about me overreacting, but he did as told. When I was sure he was okay, I smirked. There was a jar with tea which I had left overnight to increase its potency. Grabbing a small cup, I poured some into it and gave it to him. He was reluctant about drinking. Especially after I made a rude remark on what it was, but startlingly, he chugged it down.

I was amazed at his bravery. So, he had called my bluff and trusted me. I would have never drunk anything a stranger handed me and it surprised me that he did. I felt a grudging respect for him. The man had a lot of guts, I'd give him that. But at the end of the day, guts didn't account for much, and all they would do is get him killed if he continued to be around me.

Hiro's voice rang once more. "Kagome-chan, I must speak with you!"

Suppressing the need to roll my eyes, I stood up once more and walked to the door. Sesshoumaru's hand clasped my wrist and stopped me. I glared at him.

"I need to get rid of him or else he could come in here," I whispered heatedly.

"If he were foolish enough to do that, I would skin him for interrupting my sleep. Then I would kill him for looking at you without proper clothing, because that yukata, as thick as it is, can not be deemed proper."

I raised an eyebrow. "You will do no such thing. Now be quiet." I turned and without a sound I moved my lips to tell him, "_Not a sound or..."_ I made a motion with my hand across my neck.

He smirked at this.

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru had started to go after Kagome the moment she scurried to the corner, but stopped himself. He wanted to see what she would do. What she intended.

_Kagome put on her hakama and pulled off the yukata she had grabbed in a hurry. His breath caught at the sight of almost bare back, except for a knot that held the undershirt covering her front. Every muscle on her body rippled as she removed the yukata and draped it over a trunk. The woman was exquisite. Her creamy, bare back and silky skin of her shoulders inviting. Delectable._

_But what stunned him was her right arm and shoulder, which were a total mess from the snake's attack. He gasped at the sight of what the youkai had done. Kagome on the other hand didn't seem to be the least bit bothered by her vicious wounds. She went about her business as if nothing happened._

_He frowned at her grabbing a small cup. As she moved toward a jar, he caught sight of a black smudge onto the small of her back. And right above it was a fierce-looking bruise where something had hit her. He cringed in unexpected sympathy. For the first time in a long he actually felt sorry for someone. It looked brutal and painful._

_Once she poured the strange yellowish liquid into the cup she practically shoved it in his face. "Here," she said, her voice ringing with its usual, rude hostile note. _

"_What is it?" he asked._

"_Poison and vomit."_

_He screwed his face up in disgust at the thought. "Hontou ni (Really)? And yet you managed to hack that up so quietly. Who knew? Thanks. I've never had vomit before. I'm sure it's _extra _special."_

_Well, so much for thinking Kagome actually had a kinder, gentler side. "Drink or don't," she growled. "I don't care." He held his breath, debating what to do. Taking a deep breath, he drank the liquid which was refreshing and very tasty._

_Sesshoumaru could only stare at her retreating figure. Even through the heavy fabric of the yukata, he could still make out her form. Fortunately for him, he no longer had to imagine. He'd already had a great view of it, up close and personal._

_Before she exited she warned him to remain quiet or she would slit his throat, which felt more like a tease than anything else. Kagome closed the door behind her, but thanks to the still rising sun, the light was able to cast shadows of both figures outside._

"_What brings you here Hiroyaki?" she asked confused._

_He noticed that she made no effort to keep their voices down. Probably because she was well aware of his fantastic demon hearing._

"_I had to see you. The children told us what happened yesterday and we all went to find you, fearing the worst. When Lana came back and informed us that you were here and that you were unharmed, I knew I had to see you. However, she said that you demanded to be left alone. And now here I am." The young man moved in to embrace her. "I don't know what I had done if anything happened to you." He kissed her cheek and held her in place._

_Sesshoumaru couldn't believe what he was seeing. The idiot kid – because that was what he was – had the audacity to touch what was his! His claws were digging into the sheets that were covering his lower body. His vision reddened and without his notice, a threatening growl escaped his lips. Had this male been a demon, the latter, along with his scent on his woman, would have been enough to warn it that she was taken._

_Kagome was too shocked to even move. The young samurai had never been as bold. He usually settled for a smile and a quick pat on the shoulders. A low growl reminded her of the demon prince. _

'_Stupid Sesshoumaru, I thought I told you to keep quiet,' Kagome thought._

_Hiroyaki straightened but did not release her. "What was that?"_

_She used Hiro's distraction to push him away and land a punch in his face and using the momentum, she pounced on him. She held his arms down with both knees so he could not jerk away. Hiro looked up to her in surprise._

_Sesshoumaru ceased his growl and watched as she pushed away the kid. To say that he was astonished was an understatement. He moved closer to the door and slid it open just a hair's length to get a better view of the scene._

"_DON'T YOU EVER TAKE SUCH LIBERTIES WITH ME. I HAVE OPENED THE DOORS OF MY HOME TO YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME? LISTEN UP." She gritted and he nodded. "NEVER MAKE ME REGRET LETTING YOU NEAR. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Hiro looked away._

_Kagome released his arms and pushed herself up. Sesshoumaru couldn't have been more proud that his mate..._

'_WHOA! When did he start calling her his mate?' _

_Giving his head a shake, he looked back out the door to the two. Kagome remained silent for a long moment gazing at a down faced Hiroyaki. She sighed and walked over to him, but remaining at arms length._

"_While I do appreciate your concern, I do not wish for something like this to recur. I am quite capable of taking care of myself. You and my father seem to think that I am still some little helpless girl who needs sheltering. Well," she opened her arms and turned all the way around, "you can see that I am now all grown up. In fact, I stopped being a little girl the day he send me away to train and become this." Sesshoumaru was watching her face when she was speaking. The hurt in her eyes reminded him of her face on the night he forced her to sing._

"_Forgive me Princess Kagome. For a moment I forgot my place." He was already heading back when her voice stopped him._

"_Do not let it happen again." _

_Hiroyaki took one step in her direction and stopped. Another growl. 'Perhaps he was hearing things?'_

"_I won't." That said he walked back to the castle somewhat satisfied that at least she was alright._

* * *

"STOP THAT INFERNAL GROWLING!" I spat at him when Hiro's form was no longer in sight or hearing distance.

My back was to him so I could not see if he had any reaction. However, the door closed and I heard retreating footsteps. I reopened the door and stepped in just as he was trying to pull over his haori. Noticing his frustration and his wincing, I reached for a sleeve of his clothes.

"Isoginasai (Hurry up). The sooner you leave, the faster I can be rid of your annoying presence."

He had paused in his dressing when I had spoken, but didn't say anything. I folded the blankets we slept in and reached for the basin with water to offer it to him. He grabbed it with both claws and sat. Reaching with one clawed hand, he cupped it and brought some water to his face. Repeating the task, he scrubbed his face and then he looked at me.

For a moment, all I could do was gaze at how naturally beautiful this demon was. I blinked away my stupid thoughts and handed him a small piece of cloth so he could dry himself.

I went to pick the yukata he had never used. "Come on."

"Can't wait to get rid of me?"

"Just hurry. I want to take a bath before the morning is over."

"Oh. I thought you wanted to me to leave, but now I see that you want me to bathe with you." he teased.

I glared at him. I wasn't going to let him get to me. At least, not like he had this morning. I stepped out and waited until he was outside to lock the shoji door. Taking the trail that went into the forest, I motioned for Lord Sesshoumaru to follow me.

We walked side by side in silence. When I noticed the edge of the wooded area, I pointed and said, "You can go in that direction until midday, or for another twenty minutes in your case, and then turn north. You will recognize your lands when you have crossed the small hills overlooking a small run down hut with no door." I turned back the way we were coming.

"Matte Lady Kagome," he blurted out.

I realized that if I faced him, he would probably look at me with those beautiful caramel-colored eyes. One look was all it took for my will to completely disappear. "Nani?" I seethed before I realized how forceful the word had left my mouth.

"I told you when I first came that we needed to talk."

"And I said that there was nothing less to say." _Please leave!_

"Look at me," he commanded.

When I didn't heed his words, he grabbed one of my shoulders and slowly turned me to face him. My body instantly stiffened and not because of my revulsion of contact. I could sense his eyes searching my own, trying to find something.

_Dammit. Why can't I do this?_ I couldn't possible hate the demon – arrogant or not. Except...

"Just hear me out, alright? You don't have to say anything. All I ask is that you let me finish and then I will leave and you won't have to see me ever again in your life."

I pondered his request. Without further thinking, I nodded curtly.

"First, I wish to apologize for any disrespect to your person. Not just today, but especially for the evenings of our celebration. I figure that since you probably ruined my chance to mate with Lady Michiru, I should take something from you that were almost as equally painful." He put a finger to my mouth when he saw I was about to protest. "BUT, I now understand that what I did to you was more hurtful and I had no right to do that to you.

And secondly, I was hoping that we could put all this behind us. After all, we are now even. I saved your life and you saved mine. I'm not saying that we could just become friends, but for the sake of the treaty that binds us, let's at least refrain from killing each other."

I withdrew his hands and I stepped as far away as possible and to lean on a nearby tree. "I told you before that we should avoid each other all together. You shouldn't have come here to begin with." Pushing myself off, I gave him a small bow and trotted along the path.

"I know you're still upset, but does my apology mean nothing to you?"

I half turned to him, looking directly into his eyes. "Did Susano-O (God of Storm in Japan mythology) truly mean what he said to Amaterasu when he said '...I wish you no harm. My only desire is your warm company, a glimpse of your lovely face, and a few pleasant words?'" He remained still, from the truth of my words or perhaps from the lack of proper retort, I wasn't sure.

I chuckled bitterly at him. "No, I didn't think so either. Maybe someday when you rid yourself of your arrogance... maybe when you find someone who will inspire in you the will to change your ways... someone who can save you..." I turned once more letting him finish my thoughts with whatever he wished.

"Will you save me?" His question was a mixture of curiosity and unbelief.

I continued walking. "Perhaps..." I whispered.

"So... that's it. We are just going to leave everything like this?" a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Hai." I shouted from where I was walking. My heart was saddened at this, surprisingly. Somehow, I wasn't bothered anymore by his knowledge of my secrets.

Sesshoumaru made no more noise. For a brief moment, I thought he had left. Then he spoke again. "You still owe me an explanation as to why you were sleeping with me – naked." I mentally cringed and I was almost positive that he was smiling.

I stopped and looked back at his almost unrecognizable face. "I will not lower myself by explaining my actions to a youkai."

"The blankets were just fine. There really was no need for you to remove my clothing. I'm sure you know that." He chuckled.

He was right, but so was I. At that precise moment, that was the only reason I had to remove his clothing.

"Sayonara, Prince Sesshoumaru."


	25. Chapter 25

_**Like the measles love is dangerous when it comes late in life.**_

_**-Lord Byron**_

**CHAPTER 23**

**1204 A.D AUGUST **

Everywhere I went, there he was. Always lurking in the shadows, following silently my every move. At times, his youki would disappear for a moment only to return full force seconds later.

After the episode in the dojo, I kept myself busy by traveling more in an effort to push out the memory of Lord Sesshoumaru. But as I came to comprehend, it was inevitable. There was an inner battle within myself. My mind rationally tried to explain to what little excuse for a heart I had, that the things I was beginning to feel were not supposed to be there. Thankfully, Kirara had wondered off during that day and I had yet to tell her about the kiss. And when I did, the whole thing just made her hate him even more despite the fact that he had somehow saved my life. She knew what was going on with me - what I refused to accept.

My stupid heart would conjure images about him and me. But I would furiously fight them away. What was more, the stupid dreams were becoming more and more intimate and vivid...more irresistible.

A more recent dream had been plaguing my mind...

**DREAM**

I was walking happily towards a huge tree. I was meeting _him._ I could almost hear his words laced with fake annoyance at my tardiness. Deep down I knew that he had been impatient and eager to see me. After all these years together, I had learned to over look beyond his arrogant looks and haughty, rude words.

Just a few feet from my destination, he jumped down from the tree. It was too fast and the silver-haired man with a frown upon his thin but messy brows looked down on me. His amber eyes, however, were full of laughter. _Did he really think he could fool me?_

"You're late, wench. You said you'd be here by sundown. It's night already! Do you think I ain't got nothing else to do? We could've already found some sh-"

I smiled warmly at him despite his words. I hugged him and he stiffened. "Well, hello to you, too, Prince Charming."

He gave a small chuckle a few seconds later and returned the embrace. "Keh. Sneaky wench!"

"I'm sorry. I've had several things keep me, but you know that I'll always return to you." He pressed me further into him as if trying to become one with me.

It was like watching myself do all these things. I couldn't recall ever being affectionate, let alone be open with anyone - especially with a male. But the trust and deep-rooted "love" I felt for this man was something I felt even beyond my dream. Still, after all these countless dreams I could not see but the silver of his hair, his amber eyes and clawed hands.

"I know," he answered, gaining my attention back to our two figures. "Then why stay in this place? Don't you wanna come back? I need you by my side, Princess." I felt his feather light kiss at the back of my nape. A shudder ran up my spine.

"This is the only way we can be together it seems," I whispered in reply, before he pushed himself away from me in a growl.

When I gazed confusedly into his eyes, I realized that the amber riches that had been looking lovingly at me were now red. I walked to him, unafraid (surprising my spectator self). I touched his cheek and asked, "Doushita no? (What is the matter?)"

"Why is there the stench of another on you?" he hissed at me.

I opened my mouth to question him about this but he hauled me in his direction in a flash. He captured my mouth in a hard, hot kiss. Shoving me back against the tree he'd jumped down from, tilting my head up to deepen the kiss. He broke away, too quickly for my liking, and said, "You belong to me, miko. Don't ever forget that. You were mine, are mine and will remain mine always...just like I belong to you. Is that clear?" It was a statement and not a question.

What puzzled me was that I nodded like a fool. He kissed my nose and bit my neck playfully, leaving behind a small mark. His voice again reached my ears, his mouth inches from it. He whispered huskily, "Come back to me. Come back home."

I open confused eyes and stared back at him only to watch as he faded away with my entire dream.

**END OF DREAM**

And so, I would come back to reality. To a world where he did not wait for me, to where I could never feel or touch like in my dreams.

Life at the castle was unbearable. My otou-san had 'innocently' begun to hint about a possible marriage in the near future. Hiroyaki had become somewhat distant and Lana was no help with her constant chatter. There were times where I wished that something or _someone_ (a certain silver-haired, golden-eyed demon lord) would just come and whisk me away. Away from my problems, my duties and the life of which I was a prisoner.

However, a certain encounter, a possible chance, came one day to turn my world upside down...again.

It was only ten weeks after the 'dojo incident'. I was attending a small wedding ceremony in the city of Edo, native land to my father. Kirara had stayed behind guarding the castle upon my request. Considering that the groom was from a branch of the family - a distant cousin to be exact - we were forced to make an appearance. I had argued with my father to let me remain behind and protect the Imperial City. _But what had been his answer?_

**FLASHBACK**

"No. You will attend the family festivities. Besides, we both know that the city will not be attacked. And when it is, it's usually because they are looking for the Shikon no Tama...which you carry!"

**END OF FLASHBACK**

So, here I was, helping the bride-to-be get ready, putting on the wedding kimono and adorning her hair. It was only customary that I take part in these things as a family member and a shrine maiden as well.

Since I wasn't very social, especially with 'family', I decided to sneak out and wait until the hour of the actual wedding dinner. The shrine was situated at the base of a valley, so I was able to watch and listen from far atop, just in case someone were to look for me. As I watched the bride and groom exchange their vows, a new realization hit me.

"I'm never going to have that." I felt hollow. "No man will ever look at me like that and promise me eternal love," I chuckled sarcastically at myself. "I'm going to die a bitter old woman...well, technically a bitter, old miko."

I groaned.

I hugged my legs closer to my chest. None of this had ever bothered me before. To be honest, I had never allowed myself to dwell on such insignificant and foolish things. Most probably because I had no need to. Although I wasn't happy, I had led an almost methodical content life until now.

But what happened to change all this?

_Him._ Lord Sesshoumaru. Oh..._and that kiss!_

The kiss that had me sighing all day. The kiss that had me singing to myself while I bathed. The kiss that was still singed on my lips. The kiss that opened up the door to a world that I could never be a part of. _That cursed, cursed kiss!_ I didn't know what to think anymore. On the one hand, the demon was exactly that - a demon. He was the image of evil incarnate. He represented all that went against my nature. He killed without mercy anything that got in his way. It didn't matter that it might be a weak, defenseless human. He lived by the sword and preyed instilling fear. Not that I was any different.

On the other hand, he did save my life while risking his own. And before he did that, he did let the children live. He came all the way from this home to apologize - with a plausible intimate reward in mind, I presume. His caresses when he had held me in the dojo were anything but lustful. Almost caring.

The demon was definitely a walking contradiction. He confused me so.

"Damn you to the pits of the underworld for doing this to me," I bellowed lowly at no one in particular. _Or so I thought!_

"Sounds like a very lucky man," floated a smooth voice from behind.

I froze. My heart began to beat like crazy and my breathing became labored.

_Youkai!_

**

* * *

**

Yeah, I know! It was a very short chapter. But I _am_ making it up by adding another chapter...? :shrugs: Enjoy!


	26. Chapter 26

_**Lovers may be - and indeed generally are - enemies, but they never can be friends, because there must always be a spice of jealousy and something of Self in all their speculations.**_

_**-Lord Byron**_

**

* * *

**

CHAPTER 24

_Sesshoumaru looked like he'd been through hell and back. He refused to eat, bathe or see the light of day for the first four nights after returning to the Kuroi Hoshi castle. Juro and Ujio had questioned him on his odd routine, but he'd adamantly refused. But like all commanding Daiyoukai, which his father was, he ordered Sesshoumaru out of his room and directly to the hot springs._

_Naturally, the young prince did not question or even dare argue this, so he just dragged himself to his destination._

_After his forced bath, eating and outing, Sesshoumaru went to sit by the pond of the Kuroi Hoshi. He gazed at his reflection in the water._

_Alone._

_Surprisingly, loneliness had never been an issue before her. On the contrary, he would find any excuse to be by himself - normally. But now that he had met her, his life was anything but normal. All he wanted and needed was her._

_And just like in his dreams, he saw her. Kagome. Her slender figure, seductive lavender eyes, full pink lips, and light brown hair that danced with an unfelt wind. Even though he knew she wasn't real, he was more than sure he could smell her. Sesshoumaru felt like he was loosing his mind. Could he literally be falling for a simple ningen? It was at moments like these that he thought he might be going crazy._

_Then, when he was a little sound of mind, he began to rationalize more deeply about his current...situation? He didn't trust anyone any longer, nor had he for years and so he had become someone no one would want to trust. He knew why anyone sought his company; with his reputation as he'd carved it out the contact couldn't be for friendship, so it had to be that they'd been drawn in by the smell of power and vast amount of lands he would someday inherit. Those fools, he knew precisely how to deal with them. _

_Deciphering Kagome took considerably more time and effort. She'd told him what he'd wanted: save the world, save her honor and perhaps him. The most difficult part of the puzzle was that she seemed to be telling the truth. She had no ulterior motives that he could discover and nothing he'd said or done or offered seemed to have swayed her an inch. And that was remarkable, especially considering that the foe to all three of her goals was the same exact person - him._

_Her existence then was simply...impossible. No one was that pure; no one's motives were that noble. And no one ever tried to change him. They changed themselves to become more amenable to what he wanted, so they could have what they wanted. Period._

_What he needed to do was bed her and get his lust satiated. Then he could move on with his life. Surely that was all that kept him obsessed with her..._

_Thus, now, he found himself trailing a mortal woman - a miko nonetheless - wherever it was her duties led her. Everything and nothing reminded him of her and the kiss that sealed his fate. He needed to get her alone and get her to talk to him. Not that she hadn't sensed him by now. _

_He returned home and sat in the corner of his study, drinking his tea. By now, sixty nine boorish days of following her after their talk, a-not-so-happy Ujio, Juro and himself decided that it was time for a talk. All he needed now was a reason. He paced and paced and paced...and paced. He wanted to take to the tennyo (because that was what she was to him) a present. It couldn't just be any gift. She was special, unique. With Kagome, he found that his skills with the opposite sex were more than lacking. _

_The three friends rummaged through all the family heirlooms, yet nothing seemed to be right. That is, until he came across this. Sesshoumaru was playing with the jewel in his claws. It was perfect. He knew that this was something he would have had to give to Lady Michiru when they had mated but now it seemed that no other than his tennyo could wear this. _

_The priceless gift had been his mother's. It was a symbol of her nobility and of her title as Lady of the Western Lands. It had also been a gift from his chichi-ue to his okaa-san on the night he marked her. Sesshoumaru was well-aware that this was a big step. This jewel was not just any jewel, for it had the magic to select its owner. His father had it made for the choosing of his own mate._

_It was surprising even to his own person that he had chosen this precise piece of jewelry. _

_He dangled his gift and set it inside a small velvet bag. Juro and Ujio exchanged doubtful glances among themselves. Their brother had definitely chosen someone of equal temperament. Fireworks would definitely ensue. How fun!_

_He breathed deeply and set in the direction of his future mistress. He sought her intoxicating aroma to guide him._

_So..._

_When he finally saw her, he noticed that this wasn't her village. Her scent had blocked out everything. Kagome had just sat down at a tiny shrine. There were voices coming from it and several accessories adorning the outside of the shrine as well as the village itself. It took Sesshoumaru a few seconds to realize that this was a mating ceremony, or as the humans called it, a marriage._

_His gaze reverted to the tennyo that was being basked in the moonlight. He secretly wondered why every time he looked at her it felt like the first time. Moving soundlessly he jumped up to a tree that was left of her. At first, her face displayed nothing, but then (and this he noticed from the words that were being spoken down in the shrine) various emotions showed upon her lovely face. _

_Confusion. Anger. Frustration. Reflection._

_And loneliness!_

_The overwhelming emotion hit him like a ton of bricks that he was almost knocked down. He steadied himself with one claw. He was about to leap down, when she began to voice her thoughts. Most likely thinking she was alone. It pained him a little to think that she didn't sense him. If she were the one creeping up on him, he'd certainly sensed her the moment she came up with the idea. _

_A low possessive growl emanated from his chest, too low for her human ears. He never knew she longed for male companionship._

'_You're mine. Mine alone. No one can have you. I'll never let another man come near you. And if they do, I'll make sure they wish they never did!' His youkai was dangerously furious. Sesshoumaru closed his already crimson eyes. He needed to regain control, but it was so hard when the object of his anger was so close...and yet so far._

_He hadn't even noticed that he was already on the ground. Whoever this male was he was going to make sure that he knew she was HIS and no one could ever dream of touching her with even a mere glance! The inu youkai brought his left foot in front, ready to shake the answer out of her, when her voiced thoughts stopped him once more._

"_Damn you to the pits of the underworld for doing this to me," she scowled softly._

_Now more than ever he needed to know. It was clawing at his insides. The need to put a name to the idiot who dared touch what was clearly his. He brought out his hand to grab her neck and squeeze out the vital information, yet he knew he neither could nor would do that to her. _

_Before he continued, he lifted his nose to the air to try and catch a trace of the smell that belonged to the idiot. First came the scent he was so familiar with - lilies. Then another smell - cider and fir. This new smell could only belong to the imbecile for he had never smelled this on anyone near the miko. Patience, he thought, was his only alternative. He was, after all, a demon lord. He would go about this the civil way._

"_Sounds like a very lucky man." He was surprised to hear that his voice was a little shaky._

_However, his surprised turned into a smirk, when he noticed her aura change. It wasn't sad anymore. It radiated a mixture or excitement and disbelief, which only served to spike her natural scent. _

_Kagome turned very slowly towards him. Sesshoumaru was already preparing himself for an attack, but then it never came. Once she was fully facing him, she just stood there. Her countenance showed nothing, but one look into her mauve eyes was enough to tell him she had not expected any one to be out here. Especially him._

_The silence was too much for him, so he broke it. "Didn't they teach you that it's rude not to answer when questioned?" Sesshoumaru hoped that she wouldn't just turn away._

_To his relief, she didn't. Yet it took her a few minutes to answer his question. It was like she was turning the question in her head. Finally, she answered, but it was not what he expected. "Acchi ni ike (Go away)."_

_The miko's answer was like cold water. Although, he expected her hostility, he didn't want to believe she was somewhat happy. Particularly after he felt her reaction to his voice, to which he secretly smirked._

_Being a proud inu youkai and a prince, he wasn't going to let this slip by. If arguing his way into her furon was the only way for her to accept him, then she was going to get a hell of a fight. _

"_Iiee. Not at least until you answer my question." He leaned back on the tree he'd been watching her from earlier. _

_Why did he want to know? It's not like it mattered to him. _

I watched as he leaned back against a tree and cross his arms over his chest. Apparently he wasn't going to go anywhere without a fight or until I answered. This was definitely something I didn't plan for. The last time I'd seen him, I'd hoped it was the last. Sure I had felt him follow me around for the past weeks, but I just never thought he'd actually make himself visible.

I glared coldly at him and lifted my chin. He must have thought I was going to engage in an argument with him or fight him. In all honesty, I was going to do that until I remembered that that was how it all started. With us, the bickering and insults were more of a teasing and flirting I realized. Perhaps it was time for a different approach.

_My usual approach to others._

* * *

Quickly gathering what little courage I could muster at the moment, I turned my back to him and began descending the hill. The sound of crushing grass was the only hint of his movements. That is until he moved my arms and whirled me around. Though the surprise was not evident in my face, it took me more than I wanted to comprehend how the hell he had moved so fast.

His gaze penetrated mine and I had to use all my power to remain unfazed by his questioning eyes. "Do not turn from me." It was not a command but a pleading, which almost made me waver.

_Almost._

His hold lessened. I looked at the clawed hand wrapped around my upper arm. Without any warning, he pulled me to his chest and enveloped me in his arms. I felt him tremble, I made up my mind. The purifying energy seeped out of my skin. It was enough to push him back into the tree he had been leaning against without doing any real damage.

Again, I began to descend the hill. I dared not turn back. It felt horrible to cause him harm but his presence was not what I needed in my life. Not now, not ever. And as I neared the festivity, I heard his faint voice reach my ears. His words stopped me long enough for him to notice, short enough so no one in the festivity noticed.

"It will take more than that to get rid of me Kagome..._my_ Kagome."

_

* * *

_

She turned her back on him. He was prepared for yelling. He was prepared for glares. Hell, he was even prepared for a beating. BUT NO!!

_What did he get?!_

_She airily lifted her chin and started walking down towards the shrine in the valley. Swiftly, and in reality, not giving it any thought, he rushed to grab her before she left. Kagome was whirled around to face him. _

_Milliseconds passed before a breath-taking burning sensation sent him against a tree. Shaking his head and blinking several times to refocus his vision, he was only able to see the top of her head before she was half way down to the celebration._

'_Okay. So he wasn't ready for the beating! That didn't mean she actually had to do it!'_

_He whispered, mostly to himself. "It will take more than that to get rid of me Kagome...my Kagome." So it was a complete boost to his ego when he saw her pause and stiffen. And he realized she was not mad, but was in fact, confused. _

_He smirked and watched her for the rest of the evening. Just like she had been at the Crescent Moon, she would bow or nod to several people that would come up to her. And every so often (and this he loved), she would sneak glances up in his direction. Sesshoumaru knew, though, she wasn't able to see him. She was good but not that good. _

_Sesshoumaru watched until the third day of the festivity. Throughout the day, she would hide in one of the temples, praying, he supposed. At night, she would surround herself with as many ningen as possible; her discomfort couldn't have been more evident. The things she did to stay away from him. _

_Kami, he loved this woman!!_

_Deep down inside, he smiled at the thought of the feared 'Perfect Killer' hiding from him. True, he was, THE 'Killing Perfection'. Did that not make them 'perfect' for each other?_

_Too deep in his thoughts, he didn't realize that the human carriages were already leaving. It wasn't until he heard the annoying voice of the 'idiot kid' yell for the samurai to begin marching that his attention returned. He scanned the area for any sign of Kagome and was glad to see she had decided to travel at the front with the samurai._

_Tucking the small pouch with his gift securely inside one of the sleeves, he moved silently atop of the trees following the royal entourage towards the Imperial City._

* * *

Kami help me. I wanted nothing but to pull my hair out...ONE...BY...ONE. Was the guy dense? Did he not get it? What else did I need to do to get him to _leave me alone_! I took long shaky breaths and let them out slowly. Pulling myself together, I went to my otou-san to let him know that I was riding with the samurai up ahead.

"My lord," I said with the utmost respect. "I will be riding at the front. I hope that is all right with you." I wasn't really asking for permission, but that was an implication between us.

He waved his hand dismissively as he kept his eyes on the scroll he was reading. Taking that as an approval, I nudged my horse and pulled ahead. All I wanted, or part of what I wanted, was to leave this city. Something about it made the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. It always called out to me, called out to my soul, in ways that made me fear it.

It wasn't fear of harm that particularly made me cautious but rather fear of losing myself in there. _Especially the forest._ The forest where _that tree_ from my dreams was actually standing. Something in there was waiting for me, and by all Kami I feared that one day I might succumb to the call - willingly.

Especially after last night.

After my encounter with the inu youkai, I had another dream. This one was entirely different dream from all the other ones.

**DREAM**

I was on top of _the tree_, the Goshinboku. This particular one was one of the few remaining that were guarded because of its immense powers over time. It connected all time and space in a way that no one had been able to understand or explain.

However, there I was, relaxing on one of its limbs. But I was not alone. Two pale arms were embracing me from behind. I felt the beating of his heart and his soft breathing was felt on my right cheek. He nuzzled my neck and kissed it tenderly before sighing contentedly.

"I love watching the sun set. But I love watching the sun set more with you here. Your warmth is more heated than the sun's."

"Sometimes you're a little too corny. Even for someone like you. Why can't you just be quiet and enjoy the moment?" he replied annoyed.

I bolted up angrily. I turned to yell at him. "You're such a baka! For once be - "

His lips silenced me instantly and what ever anger I felt melted away. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted me and placed me on his lap sideways. My arms instantly snaked around his neck. The need for air won, unfortunately, as we parted panting.

"Is this the only way to shut you up?" he asked teasingly.

My arms, still wrapped around his neck, leaning my forehead against his with my eyes closed, I answered. "If this is the punishment...then yes."

However, the moment was ruined by the sound of thunder and rain. My body stiffened immediately. He noticed and pulled me closer wrapping his entire aura around me. And for the first time since the dreams began, I finally caught his scent - sandalwood and a scent that was uniquely him. I felt protected and secure. The thunder grew distant in my ears and all I could hear was his soft and loving words of protection.

I did, though, take notice of the slight drizzle. Thankfully the many leaves gave enough cover from the light rain. "Arigatou gozaimasu," I murmured, clutching him tighter.

He snorted. "Keh! It can't rain all the time, wench!"

**END OF DREAM**

I bolted from my sleep. His last words awoke in me something so strong and powerful - a yearning - unlike any I had ever felt. I clutched the sheets to my chest. Something was definitely creepy about that dream and somehow it was linked to that tree.

I needed to be careful.

* * *

Several hours into the trip, I detected a youki following us. Each time it would recede just enough to touch my own reiki. I had no trouble discerning whose youki that was. And for the first time since he began shadowing me, I saw him to our right. It was a grey and silver blur, jumping from tree to tree. I had to admire his stealth and stubbornness, even when both were being used for something that wasn't worth fighting for.

Turning my head, I kicked my horse softly to catch up at the front with the rest of the samurai. I spotted Hiroyaki at the front, laughing with some of his fellow officers. Once he saw me heading towards them, he whispered something and they nodded in return. Each captain returned to their respective group and Hiro only looked ahead as if he hadn't seen me.

Ever since the _dojo incident_ he avoided me at all cost. If it was absolutely necessary that he speak to me, he would address me by my title. Even then his words were spoken quickly and clipped. I had wounded someone that had offered me nothing but kindness from the moment he met me, and I had given in return coldness. It weighed heavily on my mind that someone as happy and enthusiastic as Hiro be distant and obscure. Unbeknown, I was beginning to turn him into me.

That, I would not wish, even onto my worst enemy.

When my horse finally reached his, he became rigid. He dared not look upon me since then, and now it seemed that the longer the silence remained between us, the more difficult it would be to regain what little we had had. I swallowed me pride and turned to gaze at him.

"Hiro, may we speak?" I sighed inaudibly.

His face grew even more serious as he responded. "I _am_ at your service, my Lady General."

"Hiro, you don't have to - " he interjected before I finished.

"With all due respect, your Highness, I am merely a vassal at your disposition. Whatever it is that you wish to do with me I - " This time, I cut him off.

"Damn it, Hiro," I whispered angrily. "Look, you have never been a mere 'vassal' and you are not an object that bends at my or any one else's will. You are a well-educated, handsome and strong man, who just happens to be too innocent to realize that I am far beyond anyone's good graces to change for you or anyone. I am who I am. That, however, doesn't mean, that I...don't have a small soft spot for you every once in a while." I looked ahead at my last words.

He stared at me and swallowed hard. Hiro opened his mouth, but I beat him to it. "And because I...I...you're part of my life whether I'd like to acknowledge it or not; I realize it was wrong of me to say or do what I did. But you have to understand that for a long time, I've had no one to depend on. I just won't let my guard down for _anyone_. Even for those I've known for most of my existence," I offered.

He beamed back at me. "I am honored that you would even consider me for anything that regards to you. And...yes. You are right. I would kill _and die_ before I let harm come to you. That includes me. He bowed as politely as could be possible on a horse.

It occurred to me that after what I did to him, he deserved more than a simple pat on the shoulder. I reached for him and gave him the most innocent/awkward peck on his cheek. He blushed.

"Arigatou, Hiro." He stared at me in confusion.

"Doushite?"

"For you. For being who _you_ are."

"You know...I like you better when you're serious. At least then I know what to expect!" He offered teasingly.

"You and I both."

We remained side by side for the rest of the day. On various occasions we had been attacked by youkai, but now, on better terms, Hiro and I returned to fighting side by side. It felt good. By the time the sun was setting on the fifth day, we stopped at a very humble village.

Of course, the daimyo (if that is what you could call such a poor individual) of this particular village was more thrilled to have the okami of all Nihon, staying at his village. It seemed that they went all out when they prepared such a feast I was sure they had never had. My otou-san didn't bother to tell them not to. In fact, he encouraged it.

It goes without saying that there had been no rest for the night. The samurai enjoyed what little entertainment the women had to offer, my otou-san was not one to sit down and joined in. And Hiro...well, he tried to partake in the entertainment. In the end, however, he chose to go to his room in the local inn.

I, personally, chose to leave them be and saunter off to the shore. Gratefully, the furusato was placed some minutes away from the shore. I walked to a part of the shore where there were some rocks that were being hit lightly by the waves. As I sat there, I thought about what had happened in the past year.

It was a little hard to digest that I had made an alliance with an inu youkai, honored my sensei's memory by fighting in all-demon war, restored villages, kept the Shikon no Tama from falling into the hands of those who wished to use it for their own selfish needs...

'_...and managed to get yourself involved with a certain inu youkai,' supplied my inner voice._

I scrounged my nose at the added information. Still, it was partly true. I pulled up my hair in a tight bun with the usual two blue ribbons and then pushed myself up. I needed to sleep if I was going to remain alert for the rest of the trip. We still had another six days to go.

I glanced once more into the ocean and heaved a sigh. Turning around I stopped dead in my tracks.

_There he was again! How the hell did he manage to sneak up on me?!_

He was bathed in the dim light of the moon. He appeared disheveled and a bit surprised to see me. My aura instantly flared at the feel of a powerful youki. At first, both of us just stared at one another at a complete loss that was more due to the awkwardness of our past encounters.

The soft splash of water against rocks brought us out of our trance. Sesshoumaru walked cautiously up to me until he was at arms length. I broke our silent gaze and turned my head to the sides searching for any one who could spot us together. He reached out with a clawed hand but stopped hesitantly.

I remained stoic, but it was taking much more effort than I ever thought. I ran my eyes lazily over him before I turned right and began walking towards the village. He made no move to stop me, but he did however, call out.

"Will you never talk to me? Will you always run away?"

I turned, furious and ready to yell at him, but the second I saw the mirth in his eyes. I clamped my mouth. I composed myself and decided to turn the tables on him. I put up a barrier to block my scent and walked back to him, putting upon my face the most innocent look.

Sesshoumaru gazed down at me when I was right in front of him. He blinked back his surprise when I returned a tender, small smile. One of his arms wrapped around me and pulled me slowly towards him. I allowed it and watched his reaction. My hands went up to his chest, watching him behind the veil of my lashes as he closed his eyes. My arms encircled his neck and I rested my head against him. He drew in a deep breath.

His form lost its tense stance. I waited for his guard to come down completely before I pulled away to stare into his eyes. Sesshoumaru was watching me with a look that had me nearly forgetting my initial plan. I blinked away the fogginess that those two twin rays of gold had formed.

"Lord Sesshoumaru..." I whispered slowly.

The said youkai swallowed hard before stuttering his response. "Ka-Kagome..."

_And that was how I won._


	27. Chapter 27

_**Prolonged endurance tames the bold.**_

_**-Lord Byron**_

**CHAPTER 25**

_He felt frustrated. He had no way of getting near her without alerting the rest of her party of his presence. The image of her kissing the 'idiot kid' - albeit he knew the kiss was innocent - plagued him. Sesshoumaru wanted nothing more than to beat the bloody smirk off that pathetic excuse, good for nothing, idiot, wanna-be samurai. The ningen laughed, talked and would 'innocently' rub against HIS Kagome._

_Sesshoumaru jumped off his perch. He had decided to stay a bit far behind. He needed distance between him and the kid or else he might kill him. By midday, the royal army was several hours ahead of him. He still kept alert, watching for incoming danger. _

_It was night already, so he decided to catch up with Kagome's party. However, when he was a few feet away from the furusato that seemed to have offered them shelter for the night, he turned toward the direction of the ocean. He needed to think before he made the next move. _

_The inu youkai walked along the shoreline, wondering how he was going to approach Kagome. She just wouldn't relent. If it weren't for his stubborn pride, he would have already turned and left. No female had ever been worth a second glance from him - until her. Yet nothing he did seemed to work. In fact, he could honestly say, that everything he did backfired on him. There were no indications that she would ever give in._

_Well, there was that kiss._

'_Aahh, yes. THAT kiss."_

_If anything else there was that kiss. He felt her give in then. It had been her first. He knew that. _

_And damn if he didn't feel like the greatest male ever for being her first. He'd decided then that he'd be her first everything - her first kiss, her first love, her first real smile, but mostly her first and last time. _

_It wasn't possessiveness that drove him to this decision. No. It was more than inu youkai pride. Hell, it was more than male pride. It was a need, a desire. She was beautiful beyond comparison. It wasn't just physical beauty. There was more to Minamoto Kagome than met the eye. Everyone failed to notice what he saw with just one glance into those beautiful tormented lavender eyes. _

_She yearned. Yeaned just like everyone else. Yearned with a passion that ignited in the deepest recess of his being a fire he realized only she could quench._

_She wanted - no - she needed to feel loved. And who would ever love her more than him? He smirked inwardly. If she only knew how much he could love her. But, that was just it, how could he?_

_He continued with his musings until..._

_the scent of gardenias!_

_She was standing in front of him. There was an aura of extreme power and lethal danger emanating from her. It rippled and sizzled around them and made the hair on the back of his neck rise. That blank expression remained and she made no effort to try and change it. He reached his hand to try and touch her but her aura stopped him. Before he could decide what to say or do, Kagome made to walk. He did the only thing he knew would work on her._

_Hook..._

"_Will you never talk to me?_

_Line..._

"_Will you always run away?"_

_and sinker!_

_She whirled around and for once he was relieved to see some sign of life in her eyes. The moment, was however, short lived. She composed herself and began to walk towards him with a look that had him a bit confused. But when she graced him with that beautiful smile he forgot everything and pulled her to him. The feel of her hands sliding up his chest and interlocking at the back of his neck was all he could concentrate on. It made his blood hot._

"_Lord Sesshoumaru." His name upon her lips evoked in him feelings he never knew someone like him could ever experience. _

_He struggled inwardly not to throw her on the floor and bury himself in her. "Ka-Kagome?"_

_She sighed peacefully and looked up at him. Her hands disentangled from him and he growled at the loss. She responded by intertwining her fingers with his and silently asking him to follow her. He was too hypnotized by the moonlight in her eyes to even think of denying her anything. They walked hand in hand until they reached the small opening of a cave within the forest, a distance from the furusato where her ningen companions were sleeping. There, at the entrance, she stopped and turned her back to him. Kagome was nervous - it was written all over her body; yet he couldn't catch a trace of that scent. He wondered._

"_Sesshoumaru?" she whipped around, cheeks flushed and her chest heaving. "I've been thinking."_

_Suspicion washed though him. "About what?" he asked anyway._

"_About...about what you said to me that day on the dojo and about you being saved."_

"_And?" he prompted, all of his senses coming to attention._

_She cleared her throat. "And I was wondering," she said in a voice so quiet his inu ears almost didn't catch, "if your offers still stood."_

_Sesshoumaru hadn't stayed alive these two centuries by being a fool. The dark tennyo was up to something. On the other hand, if it involved the two of them being naked, he was all for it. Still... "I thought I made you ill."_

"_Hai, well, I was angry."_

"_And you aren't any longer?" He didn't try to hide the skepticism in his tone._

"_I don't understand how you can be such a bastard, like at your home and so sweet the next, like at the dojo. You confuse me so," Kagome said slowly. "Your father - "_

"_For Kami's sake," he interrupted, "if we're talking about seduction, don't mention my chichi-ue."_

"_My apologies," she said in a nervous grimace. "I'm new to this."_

"_To what?"_

"_You...you're going to make me say it?"_

_He strolled up to her, abruptly without hurry. "Hai, I am," he replied and kissed her._

_He lifted his head, but Kagome pursued him, rising up on her toes and twining her dainty fingers through his silky hair. She pulled his head down for another kiss. Almost of their own accord, his hands slid around her slender waist. He tugged her up against him. _

"_You still have to say it, Kagome," he murmured. "Say it."_

"_I..." she began breathlessly, her gaze on his mouth. "I want to know if you'll stop following me around if...if I..."_

_A tiny part of him grew angry at the extent to her sacrifice to get away from him. The other ninety-nine percent, however..._

_Sweet Izanami (mythological ruler of the underworld in Japan). _

_Tennyo could be a frustrating, pitiful bunch. "If you take me inside you," he whispered, pulling one of the blue ribbons holding her hair in a bun. Auburn waves of lilies cascaded over his hands._

"_Hai."_

_Sesshoumaru shook his head, removing the second ribbon. "Say it."_

_Her cheeks flushed and, her lips already swollen from his attention, her breast pressed hard against his chest, the pristine tennyo moaned. "If I take you inside me," she whispered._

_Difficult as logical thought was becoming, he was nevertheless aware that her choice of phrase regarding his attachment to her left him a fair amount of room to maneuver. "That is a deal, Kagome."_

"_Not here, though," she said, gasping as he brushed the outside of her breasts with his thumbs. "Someone - "_

"_How about here?" He captured her mouth again, only partially aware that he usually didn't react like this._

"_Iiee, Sesshoumaru. More private. Onegai?" She wasn't even able to utter full sentences any longer. "The cave."_

"_The back," he agreed, grabbing her hand and pulling her inside. A clean patch of dirt would have suited him at the moment._

_Because of his keen inu sight, he led the way inside, careful not to let her fall. The air was also starting to chill a lot more due to the beginning of fall. Sesshoumaru paused in front of a small, smooth boulder._

"_Are you sure this won't do?" he asked, yanking her up against him for another kiss. Thank Kami she'd decided to give in because he wasn't certain how much longer he would have been able to keep his hands off her without going stark, raving mad._

"_Too close to the entrance," she managed clinging to his sash._

"_I'm going to make you scream in pleasure," he whispered against her mouth. If they paused here much longer, he, who prided himself in his self-control, wouldn't be able to walk. Sesshoumaru took her hand again to lead her. He searched for a comfortable area until he saw a few feet away a small provisional futon probably left by some thief or wondering samurai._

_As soon as they reached the futon, he pressed her back against the stone wall, meeting her upturn mouth with a hot, openmouth kiss. Finally, just the two of them, with no one to interrupt for at least half the night, until the samurai began to prepare for their journey._

"_Kagome," he groaned, kissing her throat, peeling back the collar of her cloak and haori to kiss her shoulder. His voice was thick with lust and his demonic aura flared. Though his eyes were closed he could already feel his youkai surfacing._

"_I'm sorry," she whispered, her breaths coming already in hard, fast gasps._

_Sliding one arm around her waist, he pulled her up against him. "What are you sorry for?" he breathed, kissing her again._

"_It's for your own good."_

"_What - "_

_Something sounded behind him. Sesshoumaru whipped around as something blunt and heavy crashed down the side of his skull. He uttered a half-articulate curse and collapsed._

* * *

Taking as much control over my mind as was possible, considering what Sesshoumaru was doing to me, I made a crack on the cave's ceiling and brought down some large debris.

I stared down at the demon prince as he lay slumped at my feet. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, and couldn't think of anything. I couldn't change my mind now, and yet in the hot, sensual place Sesshoumaru had awakened inside of me, I almost wished we had finished what was started, and that he'd fulfilled his promise to make me scream with pleasure.

When he first kissed me, I was going to make him promise me things and if I'd timed it right, he would have agreed to anything I said. Just talking had left him with quite a predicament by the tightening I unfortunately noticed in his hakama. Shaking myself out of my nerves, aroused and shock stupor I sank to my knees. He was still breathing. Aggravating as the Prince of the West was, I didn't want him dead. Even the thought left me feeling oddly...empty with imagined loss.

A trickle of blood ran past his elf-like ears and I checked again to make sure his heart still beat. He looked so...innocent, with his face relaxed and the cynicism gone from his expression. Innocent and beautiful. The most beautiful man I'd ever seen.

I stood, picking him up. I laid him on the futon that lay at the back of the cave. I used a small amount of my power to make shackles, chaining each side to either side of his head to keep him from freeing himself. Each shackle had five links to them. I made another pair for his feet. His natural scent mixed with his arousal reached my nose. I shuddered. Even knowing his seduction would be stopped, I still felt dazed and a little resentful. Sesshoumaru was going to be furious According to rumor, he'd killed anyone who so even looked at him the wrong way over slight to his honor; this must fall somewhere beyond that.

With that thought in mind, I removed his sword and checked his person for any other things he could use against me. I just found his katana and threw it in no particular direction.

Hours after, as I sat cross-legged (quite a few feet away), Sesshoumaru came awake with an abrupt start. With a low, almost inaudible groan, he lifted his head. "What the hell happened?" he grumbled, trying to pull a hand to his temple. It came away bloody.

"It's a long story. Do you need medical assistance?" I wasn't about to summon anyone, of course, unless Sesshoumaru's injury was life-threatening. Even then, I could easily tend to his wounds.

"No. What I need is my sword. Who hit me?" Slowly he straightened up, looking across the space to where I sat.

"I can't tell you that. Listen - "

As his gaze sharpened and refocused, he began looking at our surroundings. "Where are we? Daijoubou desu ka?"

"Me? I'm fine. I need to - "

Staggering, he tried to break away from the shackles to no avail. He tried to lift himself with just his feet, only to find them shackled, too. He cursed. "Shinpai shinaide (don't worry), Kagome. I'll get us out of here."

I rolled my eyes. _Now he wanted to be a hero._ "You don't understand. I'm not a prisoner. You are."

I watched as he slowly absorbed what I said. Then, faster than I could draw a breath to explain, he sprang to his feet. "You damned - "

The chain snapped taut, and he went down. I lifted myself calmly from the floor. Sesshoumaru tried to reach for me, and missed by some distance. "Stop that. You'll only injure yourself," I stated.

A glint to his left got both our attentions. The sword that I tossed was close by - to him. I ran to it as Sesshoumaru lunged for it. The chain pulled him up just short. He tried to claw the chains off, pulling at them, trying to reach for his sword or me. I wasn't sure which. I snatched it up and threw it to the front of the cave.

"Release me, wench," he growled in a dark angry voice.

This was the Lord Sesshoumaru everyone feared, I realized, the inu youkai he was with the veneer of civility torn away. And I'd managed to awaken him alone in a cave, with no help - not that I needed it.

"Ochitsuite (calm down)," I ordered.

He drew up into an alert semi-crouch, red eyes glittering with a fury that made my blood chill. "Calm down?" he snarled, swiping away at the dirt-mingled blood running down his cheek from the wound he managed to reopen. "I'm shackled to a wall, Kami knows where, and - "

"We're in the cave," I interrupted.

His eyes followed my every move. "Why am I shackled to the wall in the goddamned cave, Kagome?" he asked in low, dangerous-sounding growl. "And who hit me?"

He obviously wasn't going to listen to reason. If anything, trying to speak in a rational manner with him would only make him angrier. I turned my back to him.

"You should have listened when I told you to stay away. You have no business following me around inu youkai. I have never warned my enemy. Be grateful that I felt merciful towards you. Stay away. This will be my only warning for I will not think twice before I drive an arrow through your heart, allegiance or not." I hissed as I began walking.

"You are not going to leave me here, goddamn it. Kagome, this is ridiculous. Release me. _Now._"

I looked back at him with as much hatred in my eyes as I could possibly muster. "I **can't** do that. And I **am** leaving you."

Now, golden eyes gazed at me levelly. "If you don't release me now, you'd best hope I don't get out of here," he said in a low, hard voice. "Because the first person I come after will be you."

I challenged him with my own heated gaze. "If you ever want to see the light of day again, you'd best not say such things," I said grimly, and left him yelling at me.

The walk outside was fairly visible but thankfully I was able to make it out without falling on my face. With every step, I heard a growl of frustration and not-so-mild curses. The minute I stepped outside the cave, I lost part of my courage and my legs became a bit unstable. I supported myself against the entrance wall. The situation worried me; I would never allow harm to come to him, but neither would I allow him to see me as one of the weak and pathetic women who swooned at the sight of him. The encounter had actually gone better than I expected, considering that I hadn't known precisely what I was going to say until I'd begun speaking. Eventually he might even appreciate the lengths to which I was going in attempt to turn him into a true gentleman. _To think of all the maidenly virtue I was saving!_ Dangerous as it could be, my plan wouldn't succeed unless Sesshoumaru saw me as the psycho, ruthless miko and not a woman.

The soft breaking of the wind broke my thoughts. I moved aside a fraction to catch with my left hand the arrow that would have otherwise hit me on the face. Instinctively, I conjured a yumi and ya and fired towards the direction of the unfamiliar aura. A small, quiet blast was the evidence of my precision. _Shikigami _(kind of spirit summoned to do the will of its master; can take many forms).

But even without searching I knew that the arrow belonged to a miko. It was laced with a weak spiritual aura...a familiar weak aura. And yet I could not place where I had encountered it.

I wasn't even going to bother to look for whoever it was. With Sesshoumaru inside the cave, I risked the chance of someone finding him. I felt trapped, so I opted for radiating as much spiritual energy as possible to force them back. Fortunately, it worked for my attacker receded until I felt them disappear.

When they left, I opened my hand and looked down to find a note attached to the arrow. I searched again for any other intruders to the area or any possible dangers to the inu youkai should I leave him. I found no more. I opened the small ofuda-like paper.

It read:

_You sell your pure soul to be a demon's whore..._

_you are not worthy of being the protector of the Shikon no Tama._

_Stay away from the demon _

_or accept the consequences._

My eyes widened a fraction at the message. Not because of the threat to my person but at my carelessness. I had thought no one had seen us. Then and there I realized that this demon was someone I really needed to avoid - for his sake and mine. Million of thoughts ran through my mind - all of which included who and why. I folded the piece of paper and put it inside my sleeve. I could not let it fall into anyone's hands. I hurried on my way back to my companions.

_

* * *

_

She smirked. Still she knew that the miko would evade the arrow. Nothing less could be expected from the great Shikon miko.

_But Kagome had fallen! She had soiled her good soul. She had tainted herself by mixing with the most foul of creatures roaming the Land of the Rising Sun - youkai. And so it was with great pains that she decided, for the good of her sister, that she would eradicate the youkai that so shamelessly polluted the Soul of Light and she would release said soul into the heavens for the Kami._

_Kagome must be sacrificed to restore her honor and purity in the eyes of the Kami. It wasn't her fault that the embodiment of evil had taken advantage of her good heart and pure soul. A soul that could be likened to that of a goddess but her body was mortal and susceptible to temptation. But she would save her!_

_**FLASHBACK**_

_Ever since that day, she had wanted to be her - the miko Kagome. But it had not always been that way._

_When, her father, a temple priest, had discovered in her the raw spiritual power, he had sent her off to be trained in the ways of the Shinto miko. At first, it had been more a duty than a desire. She'd awaken at the crack of dawn and train until the last ray of the sun left the sky. Of course, there was no playing around with the village children! 'That was for children who weren't favored for the Kami,' he'd say._

_For years until she turned nine, she followed the torturous routine, hoping that one day the Kami would be merciful enough to remove 'the gift' from her. _

_And then it happened._

_One day, when she was ten, Matsushima, her furusato, was graced with the presence of the revered miko Kagome. Any miko in existence knew who she was. Hell, they all trained to one day have the opportunity to meet her. She represented all that was good and pure in this world. But mostly, they all respected her because of her accomplishments at such a young age. Naturally, she had never met the infamous miko nor had any desire to do so._

_Kagome had been thirteen then (a few months shy of the 'village attack'), just three years her senior, when she came into the village. As a priestess and princess of Nippon she was bound by law to visit the daimyo and the Shinto shrines in each village. One by one, she inspected the shrines and the overlooking grounds._

_It was until the miko came to the last shrine in the village that Aita realized that she would be standing in the presence of the Shikon miko. Nervousness unlike she'd ever felt claimed her body. And as her powerful aura neared, she began to cower and realize that perhaps she wouldn't be able to breathe anymore. The wind had been chilly, for it was mid winter, but the snow was late this year. Aita wanted to blame the fierce cold morning wind for the shivers that ran down her spine, but she knew better._

_At last, Kagome came into view. First, it was the top of her head where a small bun rested, kept up with blue ribbons. Then piercing lavender eyes, unlike any seen on any Nihon-jin (Japanese), stared ahead, head held high as she moved without a sound. The breathtaking blue aura that surrounded her and that was visible to any spiritual being, radiated ferociously off her. There was no mistaking her in her all-black chihaya. Next to her, a small neko youkai with two tails walked just as calmly surveying the area._

_Aita must have been staring because the next thing she knew, her miko onee-san (big sister) bopped her lightly on the head and pulled her down on the ground with the rest of them. Of course, she'd forgotten that not only was Kagome a miko but also the princess of Nippon. She remained still, ears alert to Kagome's steps. She was disappointed, however, when she realized that Kagome had already passed her without a sound._

_She paused in front of the first and oldest miko in line. "Ohayou gozaimasu. Hajimemashite. Kag - "_

_The elder miko interrupted. "Ohayou gozaimasu, hime. We know who you are and the honor is ours."_

_Aita stole a glance and noticed that neither was too happy with each other. She could only assume that her onee-san didn't like bowing to someone who was without a doubt more powerful than her but also much younger. Kagome, on the other hand, seemed only to care about being interrupted in what was clearly a forced amiable introduction._

_Kagome bowed rigidly in return, a scowl on her face. "I assume you're the keeper of this shrine and that you're name is...?"_

"_My name is Chie, hime," replied the eldest._

"_Very well, Chie-onee-san. Give me your report."_

_Chie appeared to loosen and beckoned the Shikon miko to follow her inside for tea while the apprentices executed their daily rituals. The miko-in-training all rose and began marching towards the exercise grounds. Being the last one, and not seeing Kagome up front, Aita stopped and looked back. She noticed Kagome had not moved but was instead gazing towards the east with a glare._

_Aita was about to ask her if everything was all right when a dark aura clashed with her own premature one. She froze! Sure she had fought Shikigami to simulate a demon-miko fight but she was years away from being permitted to engage in battle. _

_Chie ran as fast as her old body allowed her to. She stopped next to Kagome. "Don't worry Kagome-sama. We'll take care of this!"_

_Kagome didn't move. Her face was set in stone. Her aura seared with unbelievable electricity. There was no evidence that she accepted nor denied the help or even acknowledged what the old miko had said. Chie, though, was already ordering all the miko to take their positions. No sooner had they taken her stance that the sky was darkened black and jyaki surrounded the village._

_Chie ordered them to move and several arrows flew into the sky. Most of them missed their target but those that did reach barely managed to kill one small youkai. Aita was rendered helpless by her fear and she couldn't remember when had been the last time she had seen her father. Perhaps that would have been the final one for surely today she would die._

_She was awakened of her nightmare by the screams of the frightened villagers as well as those of the other miko. Mustering as much courage, she reached back for her ya. Fumbling she placed one on her yumi. Too scared and trembling like a leaf, her arrow flew completely off target and almost hit Kagome, who was still standing exactly where she had last seen her. In fact, it seemed she hadn't even batted an eyelash. _

_The arrow, though, did make Kagome turn in her direction. It was a slow movement. Kagome's eye's were staring directly into hers, no emotion played across them. Then, she leisurely walked in her direction and stopped a few feet next to her. Aita sucked in her breath and stilled._

_Keeping her eyes ahead, where everyone was screaming and running, she spoke monotonously. "It's a shame you waste what could be great power."_

_Wasting no more time, she gave a heavy sigh and put out her left arm. In an instant, her spiritual power concentrated in her outstretched fist and elongated to form a makeshift bow. Using her right hand, she collected more power to form an arrow. She pulled back the string and let the arrow go. At once, three fourths of the demons were purified by it._

_Aita fell to the ground speechless. She would never forget what she witnessed that day. Never had she seen such display of immense power. If she had been amazed by her teacher's spiritual power, Kagome had far surpassed that today. However, she knew that this was not over and the thought awakened her fear again._

_Her head snapped in Kagome's direction when she heard an ear-piercing sound coming in their direction. Said miko, nevertheless, remained tranquil looking at the oni (Japanese folklore creatures, similar to western ogres and demons) charging in her direction. Aita looked between Kagome and the oni, her growing fear escalating by the second._

_She kept calling Kagome's name, begging her to move before she was hurt, but Kagome wasn't listening. Several other youkai joined the oni and were charging, closing in on their target - the Shikon no Tama. _

_A low, almost inaudible whisper, reached Aita's ears. "Kirara."_

_Faster than the wind, the neko, whom she'd forgotten about, transformed into a larger, fiercer form of herself and ran toward the miko. As she passed in front of Kagome, the miko grabbed onto her and mounted her in a single jump, not once slowing the neko. They met the incoming demons head on and a blast echoed throughout the entire village. _

_Uncovering her ears and lifting herself from the ground, she noticed that Kagome was walking down the shrine and heading towards the injured villagers at the bottom of the steps. Slowly, she made her way down, healing those at the foot of the steps._

_It took almost all day to help half the village and that was only because Kagome had seen to most of the injured. Feeling rather disappointed in herself, Aita made her way to the shrine grounds. Maybe this was the sign that she was looking for. The sign that said she wasn't meant to be this. She sat in the middle of the training field looking around. There were several miko lying dead and some were being carried inside the temple to be looked at. _

_She had been too engrossed in her self-pity to notice the presence that had stopped quite some time in back of her._

_Kagome was glaring down at her when she snapped her head up. "Being a miko means being under constant attack. Fear is something we embrace and not something we run from. Just because someone discovered a speck of power in you, doesn't mean you can call yourself a miko," came her harsh words. Kagome didn't seem at all sorry for what she said and continued. "Go home. You'll only get in the way."_

_The child-miko turned around and began walking away. Kagome's words should have made her feel even worst but they somehow made her feel angry. Standing up clumsily, Aita glared at Kagome's retreating back and yelled, "I do have what it takes and I'll prove it to you! One day it shall be me who will be called the Shikon miko!"_

_Kagome only turned her head and stopped. "Those are brave words for a cowering girl."_

_Then she turned around completely and the courage that had filled Aita moments earlier, now escaped her as she watched Kagome amble back to her and halt just before her. Kagome seemed to notice this and narrowed her eyes. "No amount of training could prepare you to be the protector of this kind of power. What makes you think that someone as pathetic as you could even come close enough to touching the shadow of this jewel?"_

_Aita didn't know how to respond. Trying to sound confident, she held her gaze. "I promise you that I will be ready. I will dedicate every waking moment to be worthy of fighting by your side and of being the one who protects the jewel."_

_It was a long, unnerving silence that followed. Then Kagome looked at the neko sitting on the first step of the stairs. She watched as something passed between them both and Kagome simply turned back to her and fixed her with another glare. "If you're still alive in four years, come and fight with me. Should you win, I will bow to you and deliver the Shikon no Tama into her hands."_

_Without another word, both of them disappeared. Aita remained in the field for a long time after she left. Yet, her last words echoed in her head._

_Mind made up, she made a promise to herself. She would become the greatest miko in her village. She would train until she surpassed her sensei. But most of all, she promised she would beat Kagome. Only then could she truly call herself a miko and only then would she be able to fight by her side._

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

_That was four years ago, and in a few weeks she would finally get her chance. Kagome would finally acknowledge her as a superior miko and would ask her to stay by her side. Her dream will now come true and all she had to do was erase the mistake that marred her perfect plan. _

_The inu youkai would die and then Kagome would thank her for helping her get rid of the one that was tainting her._

_Yes! It was all coming to plan perfectly._

_Smiling to herself, she continued to ride to the Imperial City. But first, she needed to make one little detour._

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru froze until the last footsteps of Kagome's footsteps were heard. He stood there for another moment, listening. Then a low whistle followed by a small blast, followed by more silence, and the scurrying of footsteps. She was gone. Truly gone.

_He spat into the dirt, he slid down to the futon he was standing upon and sat. She'd infused the shackles with a fraction of spiritual energy. It was enough to make sure she was long gone before he could get out of them. Because she knew that he would eventually break them - or tear off his arms in attempt. _

_Crossing his legs as best as he could with both chained, he fingered the almost-gone cut on his temple again. He'd been an absolute baka. Why had he thought Kagome meant to spread her legs for him? Because he'd wanted to think that. She'd acted like a complete psychotic all this time, then had lashed out on him in fury, and he'd accepted that she would twenty minutes later offer her body as a bribe because he wanted it to happen._

_He'd underestimated her, which in an odd way pleased him. As dicey as were some of the situations in which he'd found himself, no angry mate or jealous lover had ever managed to chain him up. Whatever lesson Kagome thought she was teaching him, he wasn't having any of it. No wench bested him at anything. All he needed was to discover what she thought she wanted from this, and then use that to finally get her to submit. And revenge where she was concerned was going to be very sweet and it was going to take a very long time._

_Once more, using as much of his poison as he could concentrate on his fingers, he tugged at the clasp, repeating the same action for the ones at his feet. They sizzled away in an instant. He stood and quickly made for the cave entrance. He searched for his sword. It took him a good while but he finally found it. He looked at the sky and realized that he'd surprisingly spent quite a few hours shackled up. It was surely past midday. Kagome was surely much closer to her home. _

_No one would know of this. No one but Minamoto Kagome. And she'd made the mistake of thinking she could change him - improve him, even. Ha! Well, he'd show her. With a scowl, he crossed the forest to the nearest river, stripped and dove in._

_He'd escaped. He'd satisfied part of his damn lust where she was concerned, he'd freed himself of his shackles and now he could do as he pleased, with whomever he pleased. Except that what pleased him, what occupied him at the moment, was the idea of having her in his arms again. Sesshoumaru submerged in the water once more._

* * *

When I reached the small furusato, the samurai were already up and about. The samurai, including Hiroyaki, bowed as I passed them by. I couldn't rid myself of the feeling that I'd lost more time and that somehow everyone could see right through me and know that I had thrown Sesshoumaru in a cave. My otou-san was barely coming out of the daimyo's home. He looked in my direction. I bowed reverently only to receive a questioning glare

I straightened. "I went to check the area for any possible attacks. I found none."

He looked at me with suspicion but said nothing as he gave the order to continue with the journey home. We were only six days away. As the imperial army began taking their place, he stepped next to me and I bowed once again as was customary in his presence.

"I did not hear you come back last night," he said.

I straightened and looked at him. "I tried to be as quiet as possible. I did not think my lord would have noticed otherwise, for he was, at the moment..._occupied_," I answered, referring to the company of women that had entered his room.

His face did not show any emotion. He knew I hated when he lay with other women. He'd had many concubines after my mother's death, but had at least had had the decency to keep them in the shadows and outside the palace walls. I had inquired on my return from the monastery about these trysts of his, angry at his betrayal of my mother's memory.

'_I am after all a man. It is only natural that I feel the need to be with a woman. Yet it is only carnal pleasure that I seek. No woman will ever take the place of your mother. And so it shall remain until you take your place as the leader of this great land of Nippon.'_

While not the answer that I hoped for, I did feel a bit more at ease. It did not stop, however, the score of whores that tried to squeeze whatever they could out of him. He was not moved by their threats. He was a man with a cold heart and he did not think twice before disposing of that which hindered his passage. Perhaps that was one of the reasons our kingdom had prospered. Still, it made my stomach turn every time he came home smelling of cheap oils and anger welled up inside me to see that he would no longer keep his _visits_ in the shadows or in the night.

"Why is your hair wet?"

I blinked and recovered. "Sumimasen, my lord. I could not help but feel the need of a bath before returning. It will be a long trip and I don't think that stopping on our journey would be wise. So I took the opportunity of cleansing myself when I came upon a hot spring a short distance from here." I did not know why I felt the need to give a long and quite unnecessary explanation.

He seemed angry at my response. "You decided to let your guard down for such triviality as a bath?! You could have been attacked, Kagome! Naïve onna, did you not think of the jewel?"

I felt my own hackles rise, but I kept my voice steady. "I never let my guard down, okami. But be assured that even if I did, it would take an army of youkai and men to bring me down. And as far as the jewel is concerned, my lord...even the Kami wouldn't be able to pry it from my cold, dead fingers."

"Anyone can be taken down easily, Kagome. Even the wisest have fallen. You are no exception. Why, even a simple comment brings forth your arrogance and pride. The jewel is sought out by many. Let this not happen again. At least, other times _that dog pet_ of yours is there to warn you of dangers." His words stung and were well aimed.

I took calm breaths, trying hard to show him that he was wrong. "The jewel has survived all this years in my presence and it SHALL continue to be safe. And Kirara is neither an inu nor a pet. She is a neko and my friend. I have no hold on her."

He cast me a side glance and walked ahead. He entered his carriage and gave the order to begin the journey. I remained still, the underlying message of his last words turning in my head. _"...other times that dog pet of yours is there to warn you of dangers."_

I frowned. He couldn't possible know about..._Sesshoumaru. Could he?_

I shook my head. More reasons to remain as far away as possible from the inu youkai. I thanked the daimyo for his hospitality and bade them farewell, as I urged my horse to catch up the royal entourage.

_

* * *

_

He found his prey as she was riding behind her companions. Her aura radiated anger and tension - nothing new. She was holding tightly to the reins of her stallion and if that didn't warn off everyone, then the scowl that marred her natural beauty was just the right sign. Kagome was quite disturbed and he wondered if it had anything to do with their recent encounter two days ago.

_Sesshoumaru didn't want to think that he was the cause of her present state. Even when she left the cave, the anger in her words did not reach her eyes or matched her aura. No. Something must have happened after she arrived and right now. He decided that he'd let her work off her stress on any stupid youkai that wished to attack them. He would approach her afterwards. He was still a bit peeved himself and with the two of them angry, chaos would surely ensure. _

_Some time after, the inu prince felt a shift in her aura. He chanced a glance towards the miko and saw her loosen her grip, but her tension grew. He looked around and tried to understand what made her react her that way. Again looking down in her direction, his eyes were caught by hers. She had known he was there!_

_He momentarily lost his composure and stared wide-eyed at her. She smiled at him. She never smiled! Something must be wrong. It wasn't until he saw her reach for her yumi that he felt the collision of his demonic aura with a collective one heading towards her. She stopped and yelled at the samurai to protect the okami._

_No sooner had the order left her mouth that a herd of bull youkai attacked. She gave one warning glance in his direction that clearly said, 'interfere and you're dead', before she jumped off her horse and raced towards the youkai._

_The ningen samurai were no match for the youkai. They were thrown like ragged dolls to the side as they approached the carriage that protected the okami. Sesshoumaru had to give credit to the wanna-be samurai. The kid was holding up much better than his comrades. He turned once more to Kagome. Even with his anger still present he could not help but worry._

_It was the first time he had seen her fight. And Kami was he impressed! Never had he seen such grace and cunning in a ningen since he'd seen her mother. He had the opportunity to once accompany his father on a small battle where Midoriko had been a participant. He had been forever amazed by the easiness she displayed while in battle. It seemed the apple didn't fall far from the tree._

_As more youkai came into view, he began to worry for only a handful of samurai were still standing, including the kid. He kept his gaze on his miko. She reached back one last time only to come back empty handed. She threw her yumi and unsheathed the two swords at her back. As experienced as he was with katana, he could not help but feel awed at the expertise in her moves. It was as if she were born with a sword in both hands. He saw her spiritual energy seep into each sword and cut the youkai, dissolving them._

_However, the youkai only increased and he began to step forward, intent upon defending her. Even in her current occupying position she was aware of him and turned to shake her head at him in disapproval at his nearness. Sesshoumaru growled in exasperation and surprised himself when he obeyed her command. It only made his anger grow at how much power she held over him. _

_Kagome pushed with all her might at the four youkai surrounding her. She turned both swords so that each of the hilts was facing each other. Her eyes sparking with cockiness, she fused both ends, blades instantly glowing red, and moved too fast even for his keen sight. She sped to each youkai, killing them without so much as a drop of sweat._

_Running towards the middle of the battle field, she stopped and separated her swords. Criss-crossing both, now black blades, she blew lightly at them. Ominously, she yelled. "Soyo Zetsu (Breath of Death; Kagome's naginata attack)._

_Her black blades glowed fiercely, dispersed and disappeared in the area. The youkai surrounding her had suddenly stopped when her blades had vanished into a cloud of dust around them. Sheathing the hilts, which had blades to them again, she turned her back. The youkai that remained rooted all of a sudden began convulsing as blood began to seep out of their eyes, nose, mouth and ears. Then, with a loud thud, they all fell dead. Her victory, nevertheless, was short-lived by a sharp cry of pain. She turned swiftly to the source. _

_Eyes wide, her aura flared and once more he noticed the color of her eye change. Silver eyes hardened as she charged at what Sesshoumaru could only guess was the leader of the youkai herd. The new youkai that were in her way were disposed off with great ease. Kagome sliced them into tiny pieces. Sesshoumaru stared at her only to realize that she was covered in youkai blood. _

_A chill ran down his spine as he realized she was smiling. It was a pleased smile, as one that enjoys their handiwork. The closer she came to the leader the more she hacked the demons, almost covering herself in their blood. The image of her now, as she was, made him, a merciless demon, feel cautious. Ujio had warned him that Kagome could turn violent with little provocation. That she was known to attack even other miko and anyone else who came near her. That truly scared him. This woman was capable of anything._

_When she drew near her target, the youkai laughed but was cut off by the sound of a sword cutting through flesh. The bull remained still unable to comprehend how she had appeared behind him when it had not seen her move. It exploded into tiny fragments that were dissipated by the aura she emanated. Another pained cry caught her attention. Her eyes returned to their normal lavender hue, as she quickly tossed her swords and raced to the okami's side. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes at the small superficial cut. He watched as Kagome easily used her powers to heal the wound. Once healed, he pushed away the hands that had been checking for any other wounds. _

"_DID YOU SEE WHAT I MEANT BACK THEN?! The jewel is no longer safe in your hands...and evidently neither am I. You dishonor me," he hissed quietly at her. Sesshoumaru fought with himself not to beat the hell out of that wimpy ningen. How could he call his miko anything short than amazing? If it weren't for her, they'd all be youkai lunch. Those pathetic samurai hadn't been able to protect him!_

_He was even more surprised by her response. "Gomen nasai, okami. It is my fault. Be assured that it will never happen again." She looked unfazed by his hurtful words, even her aura remained even. _

"_NO...it will not," he responded icily. He stood and faced the remaining samurai. "As for the rest of you, so-called samurai...you will be punished and demoted. When we are within palace walls you will begin rigid training, your lands will be taken from you, and you will not receive any pay until I deem you worth of such." He looked disdainfully at Kagome once more. "You will make sure that they train night and day until they have redeemed themselves before me. Do I make myself clear, miko?"_

"_Hai, okami," she replied monotonously. He yelled at them once more from inside his carriage to move forward. The kid glanced worriedly at Kagome and she nodded him to continue. Sesshoumaru waited until they were out of sight to jump down to the place where she had been standing. He reached down to pick up the fallen katana. He quickly bit back a curse as the barrier that encased the black blades singed his hands. He looked down on them pondering on how he could take them without being purified. He noticed a black cloth a few feet away. As he picked it up, he recognized the garment. It was the black cloak with the silver butterfly mon worn by his miko._

_Sesshoumaru unconsciously lifted it to his face and inhaled the wonderful gardenia scent. He was surprised to find a small, almost unnoticeable trace of his scent intermingled. It must have permeated itself when they were together in the cave. She was marked - by him - whether she liked it or not. And the idea was surprisingly pleasant._

_With that settled, he sheathed and wrapped both katana in the cloak. However, he noticed a small kanji inscription at the bottom of each of the blades where they met the hilt:_

_I belong to the warrior, - the tiger within_

_He tried to understand the inscription but failed. Besides, for now, he needed to get these swords to their owner. Sesshoumaru turned east and quickly caught up with them. It continued to be a quiet trip. There were no more attacks and nothing but the sound of horse hooves was heard. Not once did she glance his way for the remainder of the trip._


	28. Chapter 28

_**As fall the dews on quenchless sands, blood only serves to wash ambitions hands.**_

_**-Lord Byron**_

**CHAPTER 26**

The air surrounding us as we came into view of Kamakura was so thick I felt it literally choking me. And by the time we crossed the bridge to the castle grounds, I didn't even wait until the okami exited the carriage before I sped to the stables, left my horse and headed towards my heya. Like some sleek, full tiger prowling the narrow limits of her cage, I paced the shadowed confines of my heya, grinding the clenched fist of one hand into the palm of the other.

I was so enraged at the inu youkai. It was his fault I was so distracted! Nothing like this had ever happened to me. I had never lost my cool, never lost focus. I had never let words hurt me, even when they came from my father. I never had to worry about guarding myself.

'_You never talked to yourself either or is it something humans do once they've reached a certain age?'_

I glanced at the small neko lounging on the entrance. I glared at her. '_And do all youkai show up announced and at the worst possible times?' _I retorted_._

She jumped down and transformed, coming head to face with me. '_Do not yell at me because of something that you did. And don't you dare compare me with the likes of that mongrel dog! I am a neko. We are on a completely different class of our own.'_

'_Oh really? Well, I beg to differ!' _I countered.

'_Oh, I'd love to see you beg!'_

She jumped at me and pushed me down to the floor. I pushed her off with my feet and she hit the wall. Using the said wall as leverage, she pounced on me as I tried to stand up. We landed on top of my yumi. It snapped in two.

I stared angrily into her big red eyes. That is, until we both sighed dejectedly. "Bad day."

'_It's okay. I've known you long enough to know what you say sometimes is not really what you mean. But it did hurt, nonetheless, to be put in the same class as that thing that follows you around.'_

"Yeah. You know that I..."

She sighed deeply. '_I know. Even after all this time, you still can't say it, can you?'_

I smiled weakly and shook my head. '_It's so hard. I fear that once it's out, and something happens... to you... I... I just can't.'_

'_Well, I've waited all this time. A few more years won't hurt. Come on. Tell me how your trip was.'_

Feeling a subtle change to a more safe conversation, I told her all about what had happened.

* * *

After a lonely bowl of gohan and mizu, Kirara and I went to sit by the small pond on the palace gardens. The sun was quickly setting and I could not help the dark foreboding feeling at the pit of my stomach.

I sat under a huge sakura tree, watching Kirara chase around a small bird that had caught her attention. "Kirara, please, leave that bird alone."

'_I won't harm it. I just want to play.' _

There was something wrong. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It was like my aura was being pushed on different sides, trying to be pierced.

'_Have you craved _it _today?'_

'_What?" _I asked.

'_Blood. Have you craved it today?'_

Blood. It was the one thing that could calm me down once a month. The only thing that could keep my darker side calm enough. But for the most part it was the only thing that buried "the pain" inside and allowed me to experience a shard of sanity until the next time.

'_No. And on that note, you'll have to tell me just exactly where it is that you get this blood from. It's not human and for that I'm thankful. But that's all I can tell.'_

She changed the subject. '_Is that not then what's bothering you?'_ I allowed her evasion only because I knew it was futile to try and dissuade her.

'_Iiee. It's something else.'_

'_You mean the uneasiness and the sense of incoming danger looming near.'_ She always was so casual about these things. Then again, she had lived far longer than I had.

'_Hai. Demo, it's just so different. There's no demonic aura... just a real dark feeling. It's like a collection of dark thoughts and desires. Plus, the jewel seems to react to these. Every time someone or something wishes to get there greedy hands on the jewel, it begins to act as beacon.'_ I shrugged, unfazed by thought of another battle. I sighed. '_It's seems we won't be getting any sleep tonight.'_

Kirara lay down beside me. '_Kills time, don't you think? Or do you have something better to do?'_

She looked at me and somehow a completely different thought came to mind. It was something that I had wanted to know for as long as I remember. '_Kirara, why did you stay with my mother? You hate humans. You are not a pet or a slave. She saved you from death and you saved hers a million times. Why stay in a place that is filled with what you most loathe? Especially __**the**__ human you hate.'_

A long pause, where only the gentle song of the night creatures could be heard, ensued. She then sat in my lap facing me. '_Sou, sou (that's right). But I am bound to your lineage by choice. It is something that I decided myself. You have done for me more than any living being ever has... even more than Midoriko. She might have saved my life, but you saved my soul. Perhaps you may not understand now, but... sometime... in the future... you will come to know the meaning of my words.'_

I hated when she talked to my like that. There was always an underlying meaning to her words. She never told me what she really meant – only that with time she would come to reveal her hidden message.

'_Kirara, will you just―'_ The heightened awareness of the ever familiar demon maddened me. My neko companion began growling for she too sensed him.

'_Let me shred him, Kagome. Just once I'd like to feel my claws sinking into his―'_

'_Iiee... It seems he needs more than a few scratches. This demon does not back down,' _I stood and laid her on the ground. '_Iiee... greater measures must be taken. And I think I might just know how. Stay inside.'_

'_Yes, your highness. And do you wish for me to prepare your bath too?'_ she said in subservient and sweet voice. '_Friends my a―'_

'_Kirara,'_ I cut her off sharply.

'_I'm going! Sheesh...'_ She went on her way, grumbling about pompous humans and their orders. I would have laughed had I not sensed something else.

Sesshoumaru was nearing... but he wasn't alone. _Two more familiar auras... this might just get interesting._

_

* * *

_

The cold air felt good against his face as he neared the Imperial castle. At this hour of the evening, the palace would probably double its security. He'd never seen a ningen castle this close, and it was not something he was thoroughly impressed with. He did have to, however, appreciate the beautiful gardens that surrounded the large keep. The sakura were close to blooming.

_He perched himself up higher in the tree he now occupied. The air wasn't breathable even though there wasn't a youkai within range. And still, there was something coming. His eyes roamed around the palace grounds for a second time. His pheasant would be there right now, no doubt._

_Kagome was in there. He knew it, and it frustrated him. She could get into places that he couldn't. Proper, stuffy, self-righteous, boring, ningen places, but for once he couldn't convince himself that he liked it that way. As a demon he was prohibited from going into places likes these and until tonight it had never bothered him. Until tonight._

"_Sesshoumaru?" came a confused and evidently surprised voice._

_The youkai prince had to dig his claws in the bark to keep from falling. He turned around so quickly, he had to once again dig deep into the tree. To his utter astonishment, he came face to face, with the last person he'd thought he'd find._

"_Juro...? What the hell are __**you **__doing here?" _

_With the breeze, Juro's scent reached his inu nose, but unfortunately, intermingled with Kagome's. Intense jealousy awakened his inner possessive demon._

"_Kagome-san―"_

_Before Juro could continue, Sesshoumaru's own youkai awakened in defense of its territory. He jumped onto the tree in which Juro stood. Luckily, the red-haired inu youkai had great reflexes and managed to jump down before he was hacked down. A loud, threatening growl escaped Sesshoumaru. With his hackles up, he saw nothing but red. He distinctively heard muffled voices but didn't recognize the scent being emitted._

_:Danger. Protect mate: his youkai screamed._

_Juro crouched low in submission. Sesshoumaru wasn't an inu youkai that threatened in vain. If his youkai had surfaced it only meant that he saw him as a real threat to his... mate?_

_His mind raced quickly to put the pieces together. _

_Kagome!_

_Sesshoumaru saw Juro as a threat to Kagome. He would have laughed at the irony since it was Sesshoumaru who had caused her more harm in a few months than anyone else had in her short years. _

_He sat on his hunches and bared his neck. :Pack brother safe. Pack female safe:_

_Juro remained as still as he could. It would only take a few seconds for his brother to realize he meant no harm. However, the situation turned even worse when both of them felt the push of another familiar aura. _

"_Not one but two birds with one stone. This is indeed a great night for miko all around Nippon for tonight we celebrate the death of two plagues upon our great land."_

_Kagome did not move. She looked at them both when neither said a word in retaliation. Her suspicion and heightened sensed of danger looming about in the area did not go unaware by both inu youkai. And if that didn't add to the awkwardness, she reacted by stepping back in retreat. She felt a powerful aura. Sesshoumaru mistook her retreat as fear and growled at Juro._

_Her lack of comprehension as to their situation brought greater dangers. She turned to Juro in search of an explanation. "What is going on? What's―"_

"_Ikinasai (Go, _formal_), Kagome-san. Otouto (younger brother) isn't―" the gust of wind that passed by Kagome and pushed her down almost knocked her air out._

_When her world finally stopped spinning, she realized Sesshoumaru was on top of her, just inches from her face. His own demonic aura pushing and trying to dominate hers. For a couple of unfocused moments, she could have sworn she heard the call of his demon ordering her to submit to him as he locked his red eyes with her lavender orbs. She pressed her palms to his chest and was ready to push him off, while at the same time trying with all her might to restraint her own natural instinct to let him be purified by her powers. She stopped when Sesshoumaru snapped his head up and responded with dangerous growls towards Juro's own calm ones._

_:Mate. Danger. Kill threat. Kill male. Protect mate: he kept repeating in between terribly frightening growls._

_:Pack male not attack Pack brother. No danger to pack female. Pack female safe: Juro replied smoothly hoping to convince his brother._

_It only seemed to make him angrier. He looked down on the small woman under him. Sesshoumaru lowered his head to the crook of her neck trying to ease the threat of another male so close to his mate. He frowned when he realized his mark wasn't upon her. _

_:Must mark mate. Must protect:_

_Sesshoumaru did not hesitate in biting down gently on a bewildered Kagome. The small gasp of surprise that left her lips was nothing compared to the flare in Sesshoumaru's aura when he tasted her blood. It was a sensation unlike anything he'd ever encountered. Incomparable power traveled through his veins and made his head reel in complete satisfaction. The sweet nectar was the fountain of life his youkai was only eager to drain._

_And he would have if the stench of fear didn't reach his delicate nose. He stilled as he lifted his face from her neck and watched her eyes shut tight. In that moment, his youkai ceded control and Sesshoumaru was left in a daze. Using his brother's confusion, Juro tried to remain calm and keep his own youkai from rising._

_Even though the mark left on Kagome by Sesshoumaru was a temporary courting mark, it was still done against her will. He watched as Kagome also regained some sense and quickly pushed at him, though a bit weakly. "Orinasai (Get off)," she whispered, as her spiritual powers threw him off her into a nearby tree._

_She rapidly stood and felt Juro approach her. Her own instincts quickly erected a blazing barrier and warned any around that she would kill either friend or foe. Her eyes were dark, but her aura was wild and shaken by Sesshoumaru's actions._

_The demon prince was on all fours with his head cocked, as if trying to assimilate the situation. He remained quiet, eyes staring directly into Juro's own green irises. Minutes that felt more like hours passed on._

_Juro felt the switch in his aura but he did not move until he saw Sesshoumaru take in his surroundings. He lifted himself and walked cautiously towards Sesshoumaru, dusting off his purple and white hitatare. "Doushita no, Sesshoumaru?! Don't you recognize your own kindred?!" _

"_What happened?" Sesshoumaru groggily asked. _

"_You - " Juro was cut off as the arrow whooshed past him and pinned Sesshoumaru's right arm to the tree bark behind him. Thankfully, Kagome was too confused to infuse the arrow with any power._

_He felt no physical pain as he stared unbelievingly at the miko. She was standing away from both of them, another arrow in place and breathing hard. He could not, for the life of him, comprehend what had just transpired. None of them moved. That is until..._

_Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. She was bleeding, not heavily, but nonetheless, bleeding. He felt the need to comfort her and heal her wound. He made an attempt to go to her, but the arrow and the intensity of her aura combined with a hint of fear stopped him. Arms shaking and arrow ready, she began stepping back. He was about to ask why but another scent mixed with her blood made his own blood fall all the way to his feet. It was his scent!_

_Once again, he tried to reach her but again was stopped by her arrow. In his frustration he gave a low growl and plucked it out. He walked to her as she retreated in response until her back hit the bark of a tree._

"_Sesshoumaru, yamero yo (stop it). You are only frightening her," Juro ordered._

"_Stay out of this, Juro. If it weren't for your presence, none of this would have happened!" he replied angrily._

"_My fault?!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't the one who marked her against her will!" Juro accused._

"_I wasn't myself! I would never do anything to harm her!" Sesshoumaru felt the weight of his guilt get heavier by the second._

_They bickered back and forth unaware of the miko's pleas of silence. And when things could not have gotten worst, a third aura joined in._

"_Did I miss something?" asked nonchalantly, a blue-eyed, black haired inu youkai._

_Entirely by reflex, she let her power ripple out of her, hurling all three inu youkai a great distance away. "Shizukani (Quiet)!" The words echoed throughout the clearing._

* * *

"Shizukani!" I bellowed.

I was about to purify them and rid myself of their annoying presence when the sound of hooves was heard a few feet away. When I turned, Hiro jumped off his horse before it had even stopped.

"Kagome-chan... I have been... searching for you... for quite a while," he managed in between gasps of air. "The city... it's ...what happened to you?!" he grabbed his side unable to finish without controlling his breathing.

"The city what?" I replied a little too angrily.

"It's... we're being attacked!"

"Nani?!" I asked in disbelief. "Kuso (Damn)!" I closed my eyes and counted to ten. _Of all times for these inu youkai to show up_...

'_Kagome? Daijou ka? I smelled your blood and...'_ she finished with a loud growl aimed at the three demons that were nearing. Kirara knew what he had done as soon as she saw my neck. Two small puncture wounds were slowly bleeding. '_He marked you!'_

"No time for this Kirara. Hiro, Kirara... Ikimashou (Let's go)."

Hiro nodded, immediately mounted and sped ahead of me. I turned around as the inu youkai came into view.

Sesshoumaru approached with caution. "Kagome..." He inched a few feet closer, even though Kirara warned him.

"Damare (Shut up)! Mou takusan (I've had enough)!" I turned to Juro. "Ike (Go)! If you value the life of your brother you will take him with you." Then I glared at Ujio. "I suggest you remember what I'm capable of when angered." They all just stared at me.

I mounted Kirara. "Matte, Kagome... kiite (listen)... I didn't ―"

"Save it for someone who cares." I intercepted as Kirara took the skies.

'_Why do you keep allowing him to live? What he did to you... it's just... why did you let him mark you? You reek of his putrid smell!'_

I took in a deep breath. '_Like I said before, now is not the time or place. We will deal with this as soon as this is over.'_

She only roared. As the city came more into view, I saw the great number of samurai violently cutting down the villagers with no regards to gender or age. Some of the houses and shops were already on fire. Several cries, mostly from women and children were heard among the enemy samurai's laughs. Many years ago I unfortunately understood that I would never encounter a more vicious and dangerous opponent as ningen. My spiritual powers purified demonic auras. As black as the souls of these men were, my powers were of no use. I had to rely on pure physical strength.

As soon as I jumped off Kirara and took in the scene, my head hurt. The images again. The screams, the anger, the hunger for blood...

I shook it off. _Not this time!_

Fortunately, I had a vast number of samurai under my command. And though I knew that they would not be of great help, I relied on the few that could put up a fight until I could get to everyone.

I reached back to unsheathe my katana, but only then did I remember that I had dropped them on the field while defending my father. Stifling a curse, I ordered the gathering samurai and send them off in different directions to protect as many as they could.

"Hiro," I asked, "do you know who is leading these samurai and the reason for this uprising?"

He frowned but nodded. "From what I have heard from the men, it seems the shogun from Nara is leading them. After the okami denied his request for extension to his lands last month, he has refused to answer the call to the okami's council. But what he is really here for is the Shikon no Tama."

"All this for a piece of land and a stupid notion that this cursed jewel will grant him his wish. Foolish man... he has no idea that the power of the Shikon no Tama is too much and will consume him."

"Osoraku (Possibly). That is why the okami has ordered that you dispose of him personally. He wants no prisoners. And that we not let them set a single foot on royal ground."

"Very well," I said. "You will stay here and make sure **no one** gets through. Wakarimasu ka (do you understand?)?"

"Un (yeah)."

As I left him, I felt a wave of nausea hit me. '_The bite has not healed. You must cover it. That poor excuse for a dog did not close it.'_

"Shinpai shinaide. Ikinasai. You must tend to the children. Remember to take them up to the shrine and help Kazuo guard the entrance. I will reach you as soon as I can... ki o tsukete (take care)."

She bumped my head lightly. '_Ki o tsukete.'_ And then she was gone.

I concentrated as much power to the small puncture marks on my neck. I felt them close a bit, but the sound of a several footsteps coming my way got my attention. _It seemed the wounds would have to close on their own._

"Hand over the jewel, miko... and we promise we won't hurt your pretty little face," cried one of the samurai and then laughed.

"That's right, hime. If you hand it over willingly, we'll even let you keep your clothes on while we have our fun with you," came the taunt of another.

I shot an arrow through both their throats before they even knew it. The other ones that had gathered with them and a few more that were near ran at me with swords in hand. Several arrows came flying close by but I managed to escape easily. I used my own fighting skills to even out the fight. They were no match for me.

Yet, the loss of continuous blood had already weakened me and I was becoming slow. It took great effort on my part to remain up right and to look as if nothing bothered me. When in reality, I could hardly keep my eyes open and my limbs felt a thousand pounds heavier. I felt a sharp burning sensation on the side of my ribs. I reached down and lifted my hand to my face.

I had been cut a bit deep.

Weak already from the openings in my neck and now that cut across my side, I was barely managing to defend myself. Another sound drew my attention as a breeze blew by quickly and the ten or so samurai that had been surrounding me fell dead. And suddenly I found myself being carried to an alley and laid down carefully.

I lifted my gaze when a pair of black boots stood in front of me. I followed a silver and white hitatare all the way up where white skin connected with a chiseled face adorned by magenta stripes, golden eyes and a blue crescent moon between two fine dark brows. He kneeled and helped me up. I hissed as the sudden movement stretched the cut and burned me inside.

"Daijou ka?" he asked concerned.

"This does not concern you, demon." I pushed him aside and began walking, but swayed.

He caught me. "Yoko ni narinasai (lie down)."

I snorted. "You wish!"

He pushed me down and glared. I was about to yell at him but the concern in his eyes stopped me. He undid the ties of my chihaya and began lifting my haori. I pushed his hands away and glared at him. He growled. "Ochitsuite. I will heal your wound. At least then you will be able to defend yourself."

Turning around, I tossed over my shoulder, "I did not ask for your help. You came on your own. Now leave."

"Kagome..." he yelled. I turned. "Then take these. They might come in handy."

He reached back and threw at me a long package wrapped in my cloak. I recognize its contents even before I uncovered them. I eyed him suspiciously. "Where did you find these?"

"Exactly where you left them."

"Acchi ni ike... atama ni kita (I'm upset)... And I don't want to kill you... _yet _."

I didn't let him respond when I ran out into battle again.

_

* * *

_

The stubborn miko was going to get herself killed. The scent of her blood was laced around the air. Then again, so was the stench of death in this place. Taking himself high above the city, he watched as ningen killed each other. The lot of them were greedy, conniving, bastards that lived to take and take. He could not understand why they did not just kill themselves and rid youkai society of their existence.

_As he kept watching, he was well aware of the physical pain the miko was in. His mark was a connection that helped him locate her and therefore feel what she felt. Sesshoumaru was aware of both of his brothers approaching and coming to stand next to him as they too watched in disgust the extent of human pollution. The three of them had grown to discover that these creatures only created to destroy. Even the lowest, mindless youkai respected its surroundings._

_And here they were among what some had said were the most intelligent and advanced beings? If they could laugh they would._

_However, all three inu were in alert. Though Ujio hated to admit it, he was worried about the onna, who unfortunately now belonged to his pack. He could blame Sesshoumaru for his rash actions later. But at the moment only one thought occupied his mind – Kagome._

_He laid a hand on Sesshoumaru's shoulder. "She will live little brother. She is as stubborn as any warrior should be." He received a nod of thanks._

_The night turned into day and their worries intensified with each ray of the sun. They had now moved closer to the edge of the city, hiding amongst the many trees that outlined it. All three of them had followed with their eyes the weakening miko as she stood her ground against the invasion of her home. Kagome fought bravely and never once did she complain or stop fighting._

_By noon of that next day, the last of the attackers had been killed. Men, women and children began to come out of the many niches they had been hiding in. As they all gathered on the streets, they searched for their loved ones. And little by little, the sound of wailing rose, shadowing that of the shouts of celebration from the victorious samurai. Men and women ran around looking for the children they had lost last night._

_But out of all the sounds, smells and sights of death and decay, none would leave such an impression as the one before the three brothers, for in front of them stood a most vicious sight. _

_Kagome, or so they thought, was above a man (or what little was left of him; he had been chopped into tiny fragments), naginata in hand. She was repeatedly chopping away at the body under her. Except as they neared her (she had not sensed their presence), they came upon a large field, at least thirty feet in diameter, that was covered in unidentifiable body parts – most probably her own doing._

_When they were a few feet away, they all jumped back as her aura returned and a purification arrow flew in each of their directions. The two older youkai were surprised at the silver eyes staring blankly back at them. Sesshoumaru, though, only held his breath. Among all these dead bodies, covered in blood, and senses running wild, she was the very epitome of Death. Her calm breathing and icy stare send shivers down his spine._

_Unbeknownst, to all three of them, the same image flashed through their minds - the slaughtered village. Was this what she had done all those years ago?_

"_Kagome," the inu prince inquired._

_There was no response. Kagome just turned her back on them and continued chopping away. He glanced at his brothers but they just seemed as lost as him. Desperate to get her back to her normal self, he made his way to her once more. His movement caused her to still and then disappear in a flash. Ujio was the first to react and use her scent to locate her. Juro followed dragging a dazed Sesshoumaru. _

* * *

I felt detached from myself. It was a feeling similar to that of my nightmares. I watched myself kill ruthlessly. I did not care whether they surrendered or not. All I heard was a voice repeating again and again '_Vermin. Contamination. Danger. Kill.'_. The phrase went on continuously until the voice ceased for a few seconds only to return with a new command: '_Retreat. Threat. Retreat.'_

The moment I felt my soul fuse once more with my body I realized I was deep within the forest outside the Imperial city. I glimpsed at my surroundings, confused for a second as to why I was there and how I had come to be there. My entire body screamed in pain at once and I had to hold my head from exploding with all my senses coming back at the same time.

The sound of distant cries, the smell of huge amounts of blood, the fleeting smoke coming from that same direction, the pain in every part of my limbs and...the awareness that my entire body was covered in blood – it was too much. I looked down and to my amazement I felt the bile rise in my throat.

Images from last night and this morning of men crying, begging to be spared flashed before my eyes. The images continued playing before my eyes as I remembered how I had killed all those men and enjoyed every second of it. The entire contents of my stomach threaten to spill out and I raced towards the lake that was a short distance away.

_What the hell was happening to me?! Kami no! Not again!_

As soon as I reached the water, I peeled off my clothing and jumped in. I scrubbed hard unable to erase the memory of what I had done. The water around me had turned red but in my eyes the blood still clung to my skin and the stench of death was also impregnated in my every pore. I scrubbed hard until I felt someone approach. I ignored their presence. At the moment all I wished was to feel clean.

That was how they found me.

_

* * *

_

Ujio arrived first. He wasn't sure whether he should be happy or feel worried. Kagome was inside a small lake scrubbing at her skin. He watched, not moving a muscle. He feared she might react in a badly to his presence. A few minutes later, Juro stopped next to him followed by Sesshoumaru. They watched her scrubbing her skin with a piece of rock. There was an instant when she halted her movements only to continue as if they weren't there.

_Three brothers watched in shock as her trembling hands scrubbed at nothing. Her face was set in fierce determination of ridding her body of whatever it is that she felt contaminated it. They watched until they saw the skin in her body begin to peel off._

_It was a surprise to Juro and Sesshoumaru, and mostly to Ujio himself, that he was now in back of the miko. He wasn't aware how he'd gone inside the water or why he had even done so. But as he witnessed her actions, he felt the need to comfort her. Whatever it was that she was thinking or feeling, he could not help the overwhelming notion of embracing her._

_And he did just that. Her back to him, he laced his arms around the small figure of the creature that was such a puzzle to him. She could invoke the ire of the Kami themselves and at the same time nurture in one's heart the desire to serve and protect her. She stiffened at his touch and then began pushing at him. Sesshoumaru's mark was another little push that he felt from her. However, because it was only a courting mark, the rejection was not as strong. Even then, he did not relinquish his hold on her as she squirmed._

"_Let go," she demanded weakly._

"_Just shut up," – she halted her actions – "just... shut up and let me hold you... just... for once... let go!" Ujio murmured angrily. How could she even fight at a time like this? Couldn't she see how much care she needed? Baka onna!_

_It must have taken her every ounce of will power to let herself be taken care of. Nevertheless, she yielded and allowed him to turn her around to face him. Juro and Sesshoumaru stood afar, observing the scene unfold before them. As much as Sesshoumaru knew that his brother wasn't trying to take Kagome away from him, he could not help feel the jealousy begin to rise within him. He turned around and headed back in the direction of the miko's castle before he did something he might regret._

* * *

Ujio held me for a long time ― a time in which he rubbed soothing circles on my back and pushed my hair gently behind my ears.

"I could kill you and no one would know."

"Are you going to kill me, Kagome?"

I winced as the memories tore through me. I saw myself walking among the bodies in that village all those years ago and in the surrounding area last night. The sight of them with their throats bleeding, their homes burning...

I was supposed to protect them. Instead, I had killed them all.

And I didn't even know why. I didn't remember anything except the rage that had possessed me. The need I'd felt for blood and atonement. I couldn't answer his question.

It wasn't until I pushed at him that he let go. My weakened state had gotten the better of me and I had let the enemy come too close. I turned around from him, noticing for the first time that I was completely naked. I felt the movement in the water when he turned around to let me get out and get dressed.

When I was out of the water, I grabbed my clothing to see if I could use it. To my dismay, everything was covered in blood and most of what wasn't was torn. I circled around, covering what little of my person I could with both arms, to see if the inu youkai was still looking away. He was staring opposite of me.

"Saving your modesty?" he asked incredulously. "Don't think for a moment that I was at all interested in touching you. I, unlike my brother, have better taste in females."

I twirled away, furious. "Don't expect a 'thank you'. I did not ask for your help."

He whipped around and stomped out of the water in my direction. As much as I knew I could beat him, I knew that fighting a youkai naked would definitely not be a good idea. So, I stood my ground, chin up. And the unexpected happen.

He grabbed both ends of his blue kataginu, peeled it off himself and threw it at me. The action was a bit perplexing, but I managed to recover quickly and tie it around me. Thankfully it covered up to mid thighs. He was wearing an unbelievingly arrogant smirk. Surprisingly, he wore nothing but a sleeveless kosode underneath, which clung to his well chiseled torso.

"At least, we both agree in something... we both could definitely do better." _That wiped that stupid smirk off his face!_

Feeling rather good with myself, despite the recent events, I marched out of the area and in direction of the castle without so much as a backwards glance. At the very edge, I managed a very faint 'thank you'.

"Just make sure you wash that in acid before you return it!" he yelled, earning an involuntary smile from me which I was grateful he did not see.

The smile disappeared as soon as I reached the outskirts of the city. There were many damages and many were injured or lying dead. Most of the samurai were helping gather the bodies in a huge pile. As I walked through the streets, I felt my nausea return and my body weaken once more by the intense smell of blood. I swallowed hard, walking swiftly towards the castle. The samurai bowed as I past by. None of them seem to look at me accusingly so I continued.

Homes were burnt down to ashes. Shops were vandalized. Hundreds of dead bodies littered the streets, from imperial and rebel samurai. Granted that this particular section was never actually a clean one. The district where I was walking through was a part of the city that had a reputation for having several burlesque houses. Most of the people you would find in this area were either the prostitutes that lived here or the lords that snuck out in the middle of the night seeking the pleasure these women had to offer. Three fourths of the way out of the dead-infested place, one particular scene caught my attention.

Inside a small, rundown two story inn, that had been mostly burnt, there was an extremely weak barrier and the faint humming of a child. Curious as to the sound, I entered the building and walked through the barrier towards the sound. At the farthest room, I found a small child rocking back and forth the head of what I could only assume was her mother. When she realized that I was there she stopped and looked at me. There was no pain or any other emotion in her dirty face. I looked at her, taking note of her ridiculously long and unkempt hair. She was scrawny and the hollow of her eyes was almost as dark as the ashes that lay around her. She was the source of the barrier and if trained well perhaps she could have made a decent miko. Too bad she was born into this.

I wasn't sure what came over me. I had never cared for anyone. Sure, I had entertained the children in other villages, but it was mainly for show. I knew that if there was any conviction at all in the world, the children were it. But I had never once felt any form of tenderness or fostering towards them. Yet, now, as I faced this specific child, I became aware of that desire to embrace the child and tell her that everything would be alright. Perhaps it was the fact that she was able to hold her mother whenever she had wished, even now that she was dead. I never did get the opportunity to say goodbye to my mother or hold her after she left that morning and never came back.

Reaching around my neck I unclasped and tossed in her direction the pouch filled with several coins I carried around with me when I traveled. The sound echoed through the otherwise silent room. "It's not much. But it will buy sakana (fish) and gohan for at least a month, if you spend it wisely."

She glanced down at it and then ignored it, continuing her previous activities. Disregarding her indifference, I walked out, even when everything inside screamed at me to do otherwise. Once outside, I carried on in the direction I was heading. I hadn't taken more than ten steps when I felt the small aura trailing behind me. I stopped.

"What do you want?"

She remained silent. I glanced back at her. She was looking up at me. She couldn't have been more than eleven, her disheveled and unhealthy appearance made it difficult to tell. "If there is nothing you want, then go back to where you were. You cannot follow me around. I'm the reason your mother is dead. I don't want to be the reason you will too."

There was not evidence that my icy words hurt her. She walked up to me and stared back. Her brown eyes remained unfazed. I turned from her. "I will not be held responsible for anything that happens to you."

She followed me all the way back to the castle, where I turned and saw her head to the back of the castle. I watched as she hid in the garden grotto. Upon reaching the castle, I saw my father conversing with the many lords and some of the samurai. Hiro was the first to come down the slope and meet me, asking question after question. I assured him that I was fine and that I had followed some of the samurai that had tried to flee. As we neared the bridge that connected the castle with the rest of the city, my father made a big show of embracing me. Though, I did notice that his hug was lacking the soothing effect Ujio's hug had.

"Aijou (beloved daughter), daijou ka? I had sent some of the samurai to search for you. For a moment I feared the worst." His concern wasn't reflected in his eyes.

"Hai, okagesamade (Yes, I'm fine thanks to you and God). Demo, otou-san, the people are not - " I was stopped when he opened the upper part of the kataginu.

He gave a sigh of relief. "Thank Kami, the jewel is safe."

A feeling similar to the one I felt when I was cut by the knife went through my chest. _Of course he'd been worried! Unfortunately, his concern was for the jewel._ I pushed aside my silly notions, reminding myself that I had never been an emotional miko. I closed the kataginu and followed him to the shrine at the center of the city, where most of the injured had gathered.

At the top of the shrine steps he ushered me to his side, unaware (or most probably uncaring) of my inappropriate attire. He faced the many at the bottom. "Citizens," he shouted, "once more we have shown the rebel invaders that they cannot stand against the Okami of Nippon. My armies are vast and my friends numerous. The Kami smile upon us this day for victory belongs to us. Let it be known today that the Shikon no Tama belongs to the son of Amaterasu, the okami Seiwa. No one can take from me what the Kami themselves have given. Let it be known, that I shall show no mercy to those who wish to oppose me and my rule. Let it be known that the Shikon miko protects the city of Kamakura for it is her home and her domain. Tonight...we rejoice in our victory."

There were cries of joy and celebration among those at the lip of the stairs. My father simply walked down and was greeted by the villagers. He even shook hands with some of them. He held many children, visited the sick, and ordered the samurai to help with the cleaning of the city.

At sunset, we returned to the castle. I for one was grateful and hoping for a long hot bath. Walking quickly to the room I occupied in the back of the palace, I caught the faint whispers of my father with someone in the garden. I crept closer, keeping my eyes out for any who would see me.

"The citizens were certainly very happy, my lord, that you went to see them personally," was the praising voice of Hiro. He was facing my father. He was the only samurai to be allowed to remain standing while in his presence.

The face of my father contorted. "Ugh! Don't remind me. To touch those filthy and disease-filled beggars almost made me empty my stomach in their faces. I couldn't stand being in their presence!"

Hiro's face showed the confusion in his words. "Wakarimasen (I don't understand). I thought..."

"It was a tactic Hiro. Perhaps when you - " I didn't hear the rest because I heard Lana calling out my name. I cursed silently.

I raced to the door that led to my self-built place, mindful of the still open wound. "Lana, I'm right here. Doushita?"

She saw me and smiled in relief, a hand on her chest. "I'm thankful you are unharmed. Do you wish for me to prepare a hot bath for you?"

"I have two hands Lana." I glared in her direction.

"I know. And I know that you hate people trying to serve you, but you are a princess."

"Yeah, well, not by choice."

"Kagome," she sighed. "Just allow me this. Let me at least pretend that a small portion of the little girl that I cared for is still somewhere inside. You can't run from what you are. And I like doing this for you."

I rolled my eyes at her. The words from her mouth only made me hate myself more. We both knew that no matter what, I would never be that girl again. "Kami, stop with the theatrics! If that makes you happy, well then be my guest."

She smiled. "Thank you. Do you want to eat in the dining room or in your room?"

Once inside she went into my small bathing room. I followed. "Iiee. I'll eat here after I bathe."

She nodded. "Nani ni nasaimasu ka? (What will you have?)"

"What is there to eat?"

"Well, Cook made gyudon (a bowl of rice topped with cooked beef and vegetables). But if you want something else, I'm sure she won't mind whipping something up for you."

"Gyudon is fine. And please, wash this kataginu in clean water. Have it clean and dry by tonight and please inform Hiro to gather all the samurai in the training grounds behind the castle. I will meet them in two hours." I submerged myself in the lily-scented water when Lana moved aside, my back to her so she would not see the gash on my side.

"Are you planning on going out again?"

I looked up at her. "Hai. Today was just another proof that the samurai in this city have much training to do. Minutes that go by are minutes that we waste. Otou-san had already ordered this. The sooner the better." I sighed and hissed softly at the prickling sensation the hot water was having on the cut.

She shook her head in disapproval but remained quiet about the matter otherwise. "I'll have one of the girls wash this and have it ready for you. Your meal will be brought out in a little while. Is there anything else you need?"

"Iiee." Remembering the young child outside, I instructed Lana to search for any of my old chihaya from when I was smaller. She dipped her head in acknowledgment and left.

When I heard her shut the door that led outside, I let out the pained groan that I'd been holding. Working fast, I cleaned the cut and washed my body. Every part of me screamed in protest at my movements, but I had long ago learned to ignore the pain, both physically and emotionally. Finishing up lathering my hair, I tied a yukata around me and stepped out of the huge hole-like tub and into my room.

I directed myself to the small carved shelf next to my bed and took out the small box of herbs and medication. Making quick work, I nursed and bandaged the wound before Lana came back with my meal. I put it away once I finished and put on a fresh set of chihaya. I brushed my hair quickly and pulled it up into its usual small bun. Just when I finished the knot in my hair, I heard Lana.

She kneeled, knocked twice, opened the door, and entered with my meal. "I hope you don't mind, but your usual koucha (black tea) was replaced with sencha (green tea). I couldn't find the leaves to make it. And these," she motioned to the white and blue chihaya in her arms, "are the only set I found."

"That's alright. I'll remember to gather some more leaves for tea tomorrow morning. Thank you, Lana. I'll make sure to bring in my tray when I go."

She simply smiled, bowed and left. Kirara had long returned and was watching me from the edge of my futon. She had eaten while I bathed and was simply watching me.

'_What are you going to do?'_ she asked.

'_About what?' _I knew what she was asking but I played the fool.

'_I'm not your sorry excuse for a father, Kagome! You and I both know that I'm referring to that horrendous mark the insolent whelp left on you!'_

I sighed. '_What can I do?! I have no idea what this means or what it entails. All I know is that I'll unfortunately have to go see those three tonight __**after **__I finished training with the samurai.'_

'_I would kill him if it weren't for the fact that it could also harm you!'_

I frowned in confusion. '_What do you mean?'_

'_Youkai use markings to show other youkai what is theirs. The mark he left on you is not a mating mark, which proves to other youkai that you are his mate and that you belong to him. Instead, he used a courting mark. Each courting and mating marks are different in each youkai species and therefore vary. The mark he placed on you only tells others that you are his intended and that you will in some future become his mate. When someone is marked as a mate, their bloods are mixed, so to speak, becoming one and binding their life spans. What happens to one happens to the other. The courting mark should only intertwine your scent with his so that you can be protected – or detected. If he had marked you as his mate, you would be, in ningen terms, his wife.'_ she finished with a gagging sound.

I swallowed her information. I never knew that such a simple act could be so important. The thought of being forever chained to Sesshoumaru, was amazingly, not unpleasant.

She interrupted again my thoughts, speaking more to herself than to me. '_What I don't understand was how he managed to mark you? The fact that you're a miko should have awakened your instinct to purify him. What's more, is that even if he had managed to bite you, your blood should have rejected his. Yet, it seems to have embraced it and from what I can smell all the way over here, is that it is still binding itself to you. It almost seems impossible when I know for a fact he's not M―.'_ She stopped and stared at the wall.

I blinked and then looked at the closed door. He was there. _They _were there. All three demonic auras were reaching out from the outskirts of the city. I wondered if the houshi from the Buddhist temple had sensed them. If they had, they gave no sign of doing anything about it. I lifted myself and grabbed a roll of parchment, an inkwell and a brush. Scribbling my message, I turned to Kirara, who was already trying to leave. She must have known what I was about to ask.

'_Onegai, Kirara. You know I hate this as much as you do.' _I pleaded, watching her head bow down in defeat.

'_The things I do for you! You owe me for doing this!' _she protested as she let me tie the message in a necklace that held a butterfly pendant I had made for her.

She flew out the window as I once again lay down. I closed my eyes and thought about what she had told me. _Now I'm bound to him. Now it will be harder for me to push him away. _Similar thoughts swam in my head. I tried to concentrate instead on closing the wound on my side. I would face him later. No sense in troubling now.

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru had cut down at least half the dense forest by the time Juro and Ujio had met up with him. He'd tried not to think on the fact that Juro was here to see Kagome. He tried not to think that he was more to her than Sesshoumaru would ever hope to be. He tried not to think on the feelings of betrayal he felt when he realized she had turned to Juro when he had let his youkai take control and the trust she had felt in him.

_He also tried not to think that she had been seen by both Juro and Ujio in the nude. He tried to not to think that Ujio had gone to her in her hour of need and she had yielded so easily to him. He tried not to think that he had held her with such tenderness and protectiveness with which one holds their mate._

_But most of all he tried not to think that both his brothers were trying to take away from him what could be the closest thing to perfection in his life. NO! His brothers would never do that! Yet, he felt angry and restless. That is why now part of the forest near the ningen city was missing its trees._

_Sesshoumaru had his back turned to both his brothers as they approached. He sensed the apprehension in their steps and fought within himself not to let his youkai take control again._

_Before words could be spoken, all three brothers lifted their heads to the sky to watch Kagome's neko companion land to one side of them. She seemed on edge, but mostly, they all noticed, she had distanced herself from Sesshoumaru. They had all seen the way she had guarded the miko. The neko was a very protective youkai and if they wanted to stay on Kagome's good side, they'd have to think twice before laying a finger on the neko._

_The cat youkai growled at them. The tension felt could be cut with a knife, but none were eager to do anything about it. Nonetheless, the neko transformed into her smaller self and approached whom she probably hated the most – Juro. She made a sound similar to that of the inu youkai language._

_At first, Juro couldn't quite make out what the neko wished to convey. The second time she repeated the sound, it was the neko equivalent to the inu language 'message'. She pawed the small paper tied to her necklace. Seeing her frustration, he immediately reached for the paper and opened it. As soon as he did, she turned around and flew away from them, no doubt back to her master._

_Juro unfolded the paper and read it aloud to them._

_Midnight... Do not move. _

_And so, Ujio and Juro sat down behind Sesshoumaru who had remained with his back to them. The silence grew as night fell, each inu lost within themselves. _

_

* * *

_

Ujio was still trying to understand his actions towards the miko. He was more than sure that he hated her, yet he could not understand why he had helped her. His thoughts flashed to the moment when he had held her. Her smooth skin, the curves of her body, the way she had allowed his nearness when he all but knew how she hated any kind of contact. Even more, why he felt extremely good about doing it. Her skin was still ashen and bruised from the scrubbing, but she was no less lovely. No less inviting. Before he could stop himself, he had laid his arms around her trembling form and the softness of her skin pierced him.

_Kami, but it felt so good just to touch her. She didn't pull away from his touch or cringe. She stood there and let him touch her like a man. Like a lover..._

_Then, Kagome did something that took him aback. She pulled him closer, tracing every curve of his back as her hands moved down. Chills had rushed over him. Never once had he allowed a woman to face or touch him while they had sex. He'd always taken his demoness on all fours from behind, furious and quick like an inu. He'd never wanted to spend any time with them other than what he needed to sate his body._

_Yet he could easily envision taking this stranger into his arms and screwing her, face to face. Of feeling her breath on his skin as he rode her slow and hard all night long and drank from her..._

_Her mouth..._

_What would it be like to kiss a female? What would it be like to kiss _her_? He'd never before had the inclination. Every time a demoness had tried, he'd moved his lips away from hers. It was an intimacy he had no wish to experience with anyone. And yet he felt the yearning for it now. Felt a hunger to sample the moist, rosy lips of Kagome. _

_Could it be possible that he 'felt' something for her? He snorted involuntarily. It was preposterous...right? He shifted uncomfortably. _

_Whether real or not, it was probably better for him if he didn't nurture any form of feelings. Sesshoumaru had already staked a claim on the miko. _

_

* * *

_

Likewise, Juro was trying to figure out what had made him come to seek out Kagome. He was becoming too smitten with the miko. There was an immense desire he knew should not be there. It wasn't that she was ningen – that was the last thing he thought about when he saw her.

_Any time her name popped in his head, it made him think of legs sliding against his. Of the delicate, feminine skin that would cover her buttocks and thighs. The way they would feel against his legs as he pounded himself into her. His breathing becoming ragged, he imagined what it would be like to slide her pants down her legs and spread them wide. To run his hand through her short crisp hairs until he could touch her intimately, stroking her until her sweet juices coated his fingers as she murmured in his ear and rubbed herself against him._

_What would it be like to lay her down on his futon and sink himself deep inside her warm, wet heat until they both climaxed. To feel her mouth on his body. Her hands groping him. She reached out to touch him._

_Unable to move from the force of his fantasy, Juro stood perfectly still. Rational thought setting in, he realized that he should not be having these kinds of thoughts about his brother's potential mate. Sesshoumaru was deeply taken by the miko. Kagome could never become his. Juro would never interfere unless Kagome was in danger. Besides, he still wasn't sure what exactly it was that this miko invoked in him. Whatever it was, there was only one question: Was it enough to override the years of longing for "her"?_

_For now, he needed to distance himself from the miko, physically and emotionally._

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru was too angry to think. He knew what he wanted – and that was Kagome. There would be no more games. His youkai had unveiled his clouded mind. He wanted the miko. Not just for one hot, pleasurable night. He wanted her with him. Whether for one year or a hundred, he still wasn't sure. All he knew now was that she belonged to him and until he could completely understand what it was about her that drove him crazy she would have to remain by his side. It didn't matter what anyone else thought about it.

_The sounds of the night were getting on everyone's nerves. Being the offhanded youkai that he was Ujio was the first to speak. "You're angry."_

_Sesshoumaru turned slowly. "You think?!"_

"_This is your own fault, you know? You just __**had to **__keep following the miko. Why can't you just forget about her and find a mate?" replied Ujio._

"_BECAUSE SHE'S MINE! I WON'T LET ANYONE ELSE HAVE HER! NOT EVEN YOU!" he shouted._

_At this outburst, Juro reacted. "She's not an object, brother. She has a will of her own. And you haven't even considered the consequences of your actions on her!"_

_Moving like the wind, he pinned Juro on the ground, hovering over him, baring his fangs. "Don't think that I have forgotten that you are also sniffing around her! I've marked her! She belongs to me! And if you wish to have her, I will not think twice in fighting for her... even against you!"_

_Ujio, who had never seen Juro lose control over his youkai, pulled at Sesshoumaru. "No one is trying to take her from you. But Juro is right. She's ningen, Sesshoumaru, for Kami's sake! You must leave and forget about her! Your mark on her will fade if you don't renew it in a few weeks!"_

_He managed to push Ujio and face Juro once more. "Zettaini nai (Never)!" _

_Juro wasn't someone who loved to fight. His eyes were slowly shifting between blue and green. But defending Kagome was something that he planned on doing until the day he died. That day, on that first encounter with the miko, he promised himself that he would see her safe until the day her ningen days ended. He returned Sesshoumaru's own glare and accepted his challenge._

"_Kami, Sesshoumaru! We're brothers! We never allow anything to come between us. No female - ningen or youkai - will change that!" Ujio chastised. Receiving only threatening growls, he directed himself to Juro. "Juro, you too, must stop this. What the hell is wrong with you both?! Fighting for a worthless ningen onna!" Ujio's own demon retaliated at the words that left his mouth. _

_Infuriated growls were their response. He threw his hands in the air and walked towards them once more. He stood next to them. "Look, just answer this – both of you. Juro, do you wish to mate with Kagome?"_

_Juro's green eyes never left Sesshoumaru's red ones when he answered. "She is my friend." There was no lie in his answer and the other two inu youkai knew it._

_He turned now to Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru, do you really think Juro, or myself, would ever try to come between you and your," he swallowed hard, "mate?" Somehow the idea of the miko being mated didn't sit well with Ujio._

_It took more than they'd want to but he shook his head. _

"_Ii desu yo (Good). Now, both of you get up! This is absurd."_

_Sesshoumaru stood and extended his hand to Juro, who took it without doubt. They straightened their clothing and nodded their apologies. Sesshoumaru glanced at Ujio and noticed for the first time that his kataginu was missing. He approached said brother and asked him._

"_What happened to your kataginu?"_

_It was Ujio's turn to stiffen. This wasn't going to turn out good. He averted Sesshoumaru's gaze. "Uhh...?"_

_They both looked down at the sound of said article falling between both of them._

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And so, here was the last update. Yes, I know, another cliffy. Made the chapters long enough...? :goes to hide behind couch:

**And before all of you send out a hit man, let me just say that I won't be updating for at least a week and a half - two tops. I know! I know! I suck. But you can blame my lab director. He just HAD to choose ME to go to that stupid five-day workshop for the new machines for the Chemistry and Hematology Departments. And if you can guess, yes, I do work at a hospital laboratory! So, now I have to go to that stupid workshop and THEN come back and teach the rest of my co-workers how to use them. You'd think he'd chose someone older and with more experience. I, mean, I'm the youngest lab tech. But you know what he said, "The more you learn, the more experienced you'll be." :snorts: Yeah, right.**

**So, again I'm sorry and pray that I don't strangle, maim or otherwise get caught killing someone to break out of the monotony.**


	29. Chapter 29

**PLEASE READ:**

**Hello my avid readers! Let me first begin by expressing my thanks for your reviews - as always!**

**Anarha: Thank you for your continuing support. And I've thought over what you proposed and I think I'll take the poem. Maybe something about my 'psycho-miko'. But you can decide on what.**

**On another note, I HOPE that all of you are reading this because this is something I've been needing to address for some time. I've noticed that some of the readers don't read these notes. I don't blame you! Really! I used to skip through them too and go directly into the story. However, there is a reason most authors use the space at the start of a chapter. And right now, I want to tell all of you that I will only use these on the rarest of occasions, keep it minimal (not counting this one) and only IF it's something EXTREMELY important. I'm sure none of you care about what I do as long as I continue with the story.**

**So, in light of that, let me just ask each and every one of you to PLEASE read my author's notes. For several chapters, I've had reviewers ask questions that I've either answered on previous chapters or that I answer here in this space on the next upload. To be honest, it's a bit annoying. Now, if any of you guys asks a question that I'm sure will be a future concern, then I also try to share the answer with all of you and not just that particular reviewer.**

**There is also something that a particular reviewer asked and I thought you guys might want to know (or maybe not). Torch87, wanted to know what the title of my story means or rather translates to. I had to laugh at the question. Not because I was laughing at him! Rather, I was laughing at myself for never actually explaining that. 'Chou Shoki' translates to The Butterfly Chronicles. If I ever translated it, then I couldn't find where I did. So! There you have it, Torch87.**

**As for my grammar...yes...I DO make mistakes here and there. It's only natural and I ****AM**** human. So, I'd like to publicly thank, gerjks, for pointing out those two mistakes. I went back and found them IN the site. I don't know why I don't have them in my notes. And don't worry about ever correcting me! Still, thanks and I'll try to be more careful.**

**Anyways, that was it. THANK YOU FOR NOT SKIPPING THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE.**

**And now, enjoy the story.**

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The best way would be to avoid each other without appearing to do so - or if we jostle, at any rate not to bite.

_**-Lord Byron**_

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CHAPTER 27

Before I began the samurai's training I went to check on the small girl. She was sitting under a pine tree at the back of the castle. The instant she saw me she came out and stared expectantly. There were no smiles or petitions on her behalf. She only waited. I gazed at her in confusion. "Why did you follow me?"

No answer. "You can't stay here. The okami will surely have a fit if he found a citizen inside his home."

Still no answer. I became frustrated. "Do what you wish. Just don't expect me to look out for you."

If I'd been confused then, it certainly turned into utter bewilderment. She smiled at me and sat back under the tree, humming softly the tune she had been humming to her dead mother. Giving her another look, I tossed over my shoulder, "Keep low."

Kirara had been watching afar. '_You seem to attract much unwanted attention these days, don't you? First it was the dog and now a child. Though, if you ask me, I'd prefer the child over that thing outside.'_

'_See that no one finds her.' _I headed towards the front yard.

They all just stared at me. I had heard their entire conversation. When Sesshoumaru had first claimed that I belonged to him, I was ready to beat the hell out of him. But as the three inu youkai continued bickering, I realized that I was starting to dig myself into a bigger hole. I wasn't going to lie to myself and say that I did not feel a bit of womanly pride to have such handsome males (for no one could deny that all three brothers were definitely ones that had women throwing themselves at their feet; the proof had been at the celebration I had attended) fighting over me.

Though, this kind of male attention was most probably going to get me killed quicker than I thought. I was confused as to Ujio's actions. He seemed to loathe me and yet he'd been the one to comfort me. Even if we both denied it, his desire had been real. It was more baffling that none of them had sensed me by now. One had to wonder as to how they had survived all these years being the distracted youkai they were.

As soon as Sesshoumaru asked about Ujio's garment, I knew it was the moment to intervene. I rapidly walked towards them and threw it at Ujio's feet. It was probably not very kind of me to do so, but I wanted the least possible contact with any of them. Ujio picked it up and quickly put it on. He scrunched up his nose in apparent disgust.

"It smells like you. Now I'll have to burn it or torture myself until the stench goes away." he said.

I lifted an eyebrow, keeping a blank expression. "All of you will listen to me," I said calmly. They were all about to protest when I stopped them. "Shizukani. You have no right to come into my lands uninvited. While I hold an alliance with the Inu no Taishou that does not imply that you can barge into my territories whenever you feel the need to do so. Unless it is absolutely necessary, you will never again set foot on my lands or come within sensing range of my person. Understand?"

Ujio was the first to laugh. "Do you honestly think I would want to come anywhere near you?!"

I smirked at him. "Maybe you won't. But..." I said while lifting my chin, "I'm sure the Inu no Taishou would _love_ to know what his baka sons were doing here." Whatever other comments any of them were going to say, died the moment I uttered their father's name.

My smirk disappeared to be replaced with my normal stoic expression. "Well, now that that is settled, I believe you have but other things to answer." I glared past them to Sesshoumaru. "What in seven hells were you thinking when you did this to me?!" I asked icily, pointing to the puncture wounds in my neck.

He was staring at my neck. It was like he was hypnotized to that spot. His gaze traveled to my eyes. "Domo sumimasen (I'm very sorry)," he murmured.

I don't know why but my anger rose higher. "Are you? Because quite frankly I don't believe you!"

My answer must have angered him too, because the next thing I knew he was standing in front of me. Both Juro and Ujio had already positioned themselves on opposite sides of us. They were far enough to not upset Sesshoumaru again, but close enough to stop him if need be.

"You want the truth?!"

"Yes."

He took one step closer. "Very well. I _am _sorry that I marked you _without_ your permission. But I WILL NOT apologize for doing it!"

"**I** am not an object to which you can just stake a claim! You should have asked me what I wanted instead of doing what you did!"

"If I'd asked, you would have said no!"

"Well, what did you expect?! For me to jump for joy?! I do not belong to ANYONE! Least of all a sorry excuse for a demon like you!"

"That's too bad! Because now _**you do**_ belong to **me**, whether you like it or not! And I'll be damned if I let anyone else touch you!"

I didn't think that I could get more livid but the inu youkai proved me wrong. I took deep breathes and tried to think straight. His nearness was having a completely new effect on me. The desire to have him hold me was overpowering. I calmed down. "Why can't you just understand that I **don't** **want** you around me? Why can't you just accept that fact that all I want is to have my old life back; when the demons that were following me were trying to kill me, NOT SEDUCE ME! Haven't you seen what your presence in my life brings?"

His face had a hurt expression on it. But that was quickly replaced with an angry one once again. "NO! I will leave you when I decide to."

I clenched my fists but fighting was not going to solve anything. I needed to remain calm, as hard as that was turning out to be. "Look, I... I can't do this anymore. I almost got killed today. That is not something I fear. Ever since I was a little girl, I was taught never to retreat, never to surrender... death on the battlefield in service to the okami is the greatest glory I can achieve. I have been taught to feel no pain, no mercy and if necessary, to kill. I live only to protect and defend – _to serve_." I took in another breath. "Your presence has intercepted my duties. Because of my alliance with your father, I am duty-bound to protect you, even against my own people. However, today went beyond honor and duty. Because of you, I have lost a great amount of blood. I was weakened before a battle that cost the lives of hundreds. Because of you, I was injured resulting in more loss of blood and further weakening of my body. But most of all, because of you, the Shikon no Tama could have fallen in the hands of someone that would have obliterated all beings in the blink of an eye."

He was looking at me, not once wavering under my accusations. Swallowing, I continued. "I don't need this Sesshoumaru. Go and leave me be."

I looked back at the two other inu youkai. "I can't leave. You can't ask me that," Sesshoumaru pleaded.

Ignoring the pain I felt channeled through his mark, I questioned Juro. "Why did _you _come?"

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. I stared at Ujio next. "And _you_?"

I received a similar response. I closed my eyes for a moment, if only to collect myself, and to push back on the desire to run into Sesshoumaru's arms. "I want you all to leave. Disappear... die... hate me, ignore me... pretend you never met me... I don't care. Just let me live my life with what little peace I have ever known. I have responsibilities which must never be put aside for anything," I faced Sesshoumaru. "Or anyone."

_

* * *

_

The instant she left they were all trying hard not to let her words affect them. How could a woman graced with such beauty and power be cursed with both qualities at the same time? Ujio didn't wish to remain here any longer... and yet he hoped that some day he could understand the enigma that was the miko Kagome. He inhaled sharply and her scent washed over him, soothing him. Smiling to himself, he left without another word to his brothers. As soon as he got home, he would delve into his thoughts once more to uncover the truth.

_Juro followed a few minutes after Ujio left. He knew this was not where he should be. Kagome was someone who had proved time and again that she needed no one to save her. And if by chance, she did, he knew it might no be a task meant for him. _

_Sesshoumaru realized he should leave. He should forget about Kagome. But the thought pained him more than he would want to admit. A separation from her, marked or unmarked, was too excruciating. Perhaps if he gave her a bit more space, she'd see how much he was willing to sacrifice for her. Because as much as the miko wanted to deny it they both knew she felt something for him. So far, their kisses only proved that there was a great amount of chemistry between them that neither of them could deny any longer._

_Giving no more thought to the matter he, again, started in the direction of the imperial castle. She wasn't getting rid of him that easily._

* * *

I couldn't sleep even though I wanted to, so I perched myself on the tree a few meters away from the entrance of my door. I watched the reflection of the moon in the water right below. _A new moon. _Such nights filled me with a serenity beyond comprehension. I gazed up at the star filled sky. Unconsciously, I touched Sesshoumaru's mark. Wide-eyed, I felt the immense desire to see him and the desire he felt to be near me. I felt his confusion, his anger at my dismissal, and his nearing presence.

Turning to the child I had sensed nearing, I watched her approach with confidence. She sat at the base of the tree. Looking at herself in the water, she reached out to touch her reflection. The instant her hand came in contact with the water, she giggled uncontrollably. She was probably as insane as me or even a bit more. _How could something so stupid be so funny?_

"What's your name?" I asked before I realized.

She looked at me with that stupid grin on her face. "Girl." It was the first word she'd uttered since I found her earlier.

"That's not a name."

She shrugged. "That's what Mamejo called me."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Mamejo?"

"She was like my mother. She found me when I was just a newborn. She fed me and gave me a home."

"I'm not her." I quickly added.

"I know," she responded.

"Then tell me why you followed me."

She cocked her head to the side, as if the question was so ridiculously evident. "Because you need me silly."

"Needs and desires are choices. Those who choose them are weak. I'm not one of those beings. I desire nothing. I need no one."

"Everyone needs someone or something. I needed someone when Mamejo was taken. The Kami sent you."

I snorted. "You will learn that it's better to be alone. No one to look after. No one to leave you. No one to disappoint you."

"Has anyone left you?" she asked innocently. Then, before I could respond, she added with a smile, "I will never leave you miko-sama. I promise!"

I looked down on her. How could she know that it was not up to her to decide her future? How could she even make a promise she would never be able to keep? She really was naïve and stupid. Unfortunately, the world would make sure to show her how wrong her views of life were. I shook my head and concentrated on my main concern at the moment.

Debating whether or not to speak with him once more, I hugged my knees. Another thought had been circling in my head. My 'monthly pilgrimage' would be tomorrow. There was no way I was going to be swayed. I had had the fortune of disappearing when he had followed me only because he disappeared at almost the exact same time my 'pilgrimage' was to be made at those times. This was a place Sesshoumaru could never follow me to. As irritating as he could be, I wasn't prepared for the consequences should he decide to ignore my warnings and follow me.

For some time now, I had resorted to threats and indifference. None had had the results I was searching for. My last and, most aching tactic would have to suffice – asking nicely. I _wasn't_ nice. I didn't _do_ nice. And to be honest, I didn't think that the word even existed in my vocabulary. _Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the good of all. _

"Eriko," I stated, glancing in her direction. She stared back in confused. "Your name will be Eriko."

She offered another annoying smile, nodding. "Go inside that door," ― pointing to the entrance to my cabin ― "until I come and get you. Don't leave. No matter what, stay where you are."

She stood up straight. "Hai," she quipped and disappeared inside the door.

So, letting my spiritual powers pinpoint his demonic aura, I followed the tree lines surrounding the castle to a tall cider tree outside that stood directly in front of, what had been years ago, my bedroom window. Thank kami I had long ago placed a barrier around the castle. He was no stupid demon and he'd probably felt the repulsion of my barrier and remained close enough only to keep an eye on me. My mind made up, I jumped down.

Creating an opening for him to enter, I used our 'connection' to beckon him inside. No sooner had my mind conjured the message that I saw him jump inside. He had a look of suspicion and if I was right, he was a little confused, too. He stood with caution, stepping carefully as if waiting for something to jump out of nowhere and attack him. Rolling my eyes, I motioned with my hand to the spot next to me. Following his every move with my eyes, I felt the pull of his demonic aura as soon as he was within arms reach. I fought as hard as I could not to show him how difficult it was for me not to let him kiss me again.

He paused in front of me. "I don't think I have to voice my confusion, do I?"

Staring indifferently at him, I ignored his query and got to my point. "There is a cleansing pilgrimage I have made every month since I was ordained as a miko. It is a voyage in which I must meditate, be relaxed and **AT PEACE** with my surroundings."

"Continue," he urged, having a somewhat idea where this was leading to.

"You are the embodiment of chaos in my life, both on the outside and on the inside. I know that you know that _we know_ this is not normal. We're supposed to be bitter enemies. And yet, for some ungodly reason, I can't find it in myself to kill you or your filthy family. I can only assume that you feel the same way or I'd be celebrating your passage into hell – by my own hands, of course." He only shifted positions, sitting cross-legged.

"You are telling me something that I have known from the beginning wench. What I don't know is why you have allowed me to be here?" he replied. I let the whole "wench" thing pass if only to get what I wanted.

I pressed my lips in frustration. "For that reason, and so many others I will not enumerate at this moment, I... I... I-I... I'm _asking_ that you remain behind."

He frowned. Then he blinked several times. He lifted his head towards the night sky and closed his eyes. He then breathed in deeply and released it out slowly.

_The cursed demon was trying to get on my nerves! _

"Well?" I gritted.

"No."

Loosing hold of all strings of tranquility and calm, I pushed him back and hovered over him. I glared at him breathing heavily and radiating the pent up anger he seemed so easily to be able to tap to within me. Briefly surprised, but quickly recovering, he grinned up at me.

"You know... I always imagined us this way. However, if I remember correctly, I was the one on top, we were both completely naked―"

"YAMERU YO!!" I shouted before I realized that some of the samurai were still around. Lowering my voice, barely able to contain my fury, I continued. "I'm trying to be polite for once and you think this is a game?! I'm trying to make things as less stressing on both of us as possible – which is more than I can say for you!"

I pushed myself off the ground but left one foot on top of his chest. "No more nice miko. You will stay behind. If you want to lie around the castle borders, I don't care. All I know is that if I so much as hear a twig snap within a radius of twenty miles, I will have to visit your father in order to deliver his son in a box of ashes! And don't try me! You'd be surprised as the range of my hearing. It would put that of any youkai to shame any day."

With that said I stormed towards the castle, paying no heed to the inu youkai that was yelling at me to come back. Half way to the back entrance, a sharp stab brought me to my knees. '_Kami no! Not know. Not here and definitely not in front of him' _

I doubled over as the pain increased. My breathing was labored. It was the same each month. The pain would come and render me helpless. As it increased, I felt my insides being ripped apart and the sound of my ribs expanding was so excruciating that it usually brought tears to my eyes. With my forehead pressed to the ground, I held in the air in my lungs, terrified of the ache it would cause if I moved any more.

Sesshoumaru was next to me before I even knew it. He reached out to touch me, but as soon as I felt his aura come in contact with mine, something in my head just snapped.


	30. Chapter 30

_**No ear can hear no tongue can tell the tortures of the inward Hell!**_

_**-Lord Byron**_

**

* * *

**

CHAPTER 28

_He saw her form retreating in the darkness, completely ignoring his angry calls. The wench just had to order him around! Of course, he wasn't going to listen to her ranting. As he stood, he was stopped mid stride when she fell on her knees and the pain that was transmitted through their link almost made __**him **__fall. Every sharp pain and sound of her gritting teeth echoed in his head, nearly awakening his youkai. _

_He rushed to her side. She was trembling and the throbbing seemed to intensify with every passing second. At the moment, she seemed so fragile – so human. The untouchable, stoic warrior he'd come to know was replaced by the small woman that was hurting. Sesshoumaru extended his hand to pick her up, when he heard a menacing growl come from the woman on the ground._

_She stilled and so did his hand. Confused by the sound emitted by the __**very**__ human female, he shook his uncertainty and reached out. A hair's width from making contact with her, she turned her head sharply. He was paralyzed yet again by the puzzle that this female was._

_Right before his eyes was the contorted face of an angered miko. Except, her eyes had for a third time morphed into a silver-blue color and her pupils had narrowed into slits. He looked at her flaring nostrils and guarded stance. A pained gaze veiled her eyes as the sound of bones cracked inside her body. Kagome resembled a injured cat, crouched and ready to pounce. Doubtful but completely aware that she was still in pain, he made another attempt to touch her but she hissed at him._

_The moment their auras touched his youkai sprung without warning. :Mate: it cried._

_She cocked her head and looked deep within the crimson eyes that stared at her in worry. She tried to talk but no sound came from her lips. The pain was too strong. She held her sides in agony. All the inu youkai could do was to try to communicate with her again._

_:Mate: it called out to her once more._

_She lifted her face from the ground once more. All her mind told her at the moment was to find something to make the pain go away. Just a taste to make the pain go away... _

_He squinted to make sure he was seeing correctly. When he tried to get a better look, he later would realize that he'd made the worst mistake. The quick reflex of her hand sent him flinging over the wall far behind them. However, he never made it passed the wall for the barrier surrounding the castle zapped him and threw him unconscious on the ground with a loud thud._

* * *

The pain stopped but was rapidly replaced by another pain. It was channeled through the courting mark on my neck. It served to wake me from the trance I had entered. I heard the distinct sound of running footsteps in the direction I had left Sesshoumaru. Cursing my ignorance, I swiftly stood, but was instantly brought back down as my world spun back into place. I held my head with trembling, weak hands. There was a sound of a low hiss and I saw the ripple of the barrier move all around. Recognizing the effect, I wobbled forward only to find Sesshoumaru on the grass with mild burns to his arms and part of his neck.

Hearing the footsteps get closer, I made quick work of lifting him and carrying him to a darken corner underneath one of the large shrubs. He started to wake up as soon as I laid him on the ground, moaning in pain. I felt his discomfort, another one of the great advantages of his mark. Doing the first think that popped into my mind to silence him, I used a bit of my spiritual energy to zap him into unconsciousness once again. I muttered a quick 'too bad' and walked into the light just as the samurai came into view.

"Hime, daijoubou desu ka? We heard some disturbances," said one of the squad captains.

"Hai. Go back to your posts. I was merely practicing." If they had any suspicions, they didn't say anything. The bowed, said goodnight and returned to their duties. I watched them ago until there were no more sounds.

_Kirara was right. I am going soft. _I returned to pick up Sesshoumaru and carry him into my "cabin".

'_Oh dear Kami, you've finally lost all common sense! You're not seriously going to leave him in here, are you? And what's with the kid?'_ cried an angry neko.

I set him down on the animal hides that I used as a bed. '_I can't very well leave him out there. I need him to wake up so I can make sure he'll either go back to his home or stay here in mine when we leave tomorrow.'_

"Eriko, that is Kirara." I pointed to the neko by the window.

Eriko squealed and raced to pick up Kirara. "Konnichi wa, Kirara. I'm...umm... Eriko."

'_Well, hello to you, too.'_

I tossed the small blue and white chihaya at her feet. Pointing to a door that connected to the small bathroom, I said, "There's a bath and some water, though it might be cold. Change into those once you've cleaned up. You smell."

She jumped up, kissed Kirara and ran into the room without a sound. Kirara shook her head.

'_Strays are not good.'_

'_I'll find a way of ridding myself of her.' _

She hurried to my side at the sound of my wavering voice. '_It happened, didn't it?' _she asked worriedly sniffing me.

'_Hai,' _I barely managed. '_I don't understand why now. It usually comes during 'the trip'. You know that is one of the reasons I leave.'_

She rubbed her tiny head on my hand. '_It's probably due to the courting mark this filth placed upon you. It must have sped up the timing. I'm just glad no one saw. Or did they?' _

'_Iiee. Or at least I don't think so. Eriko could have, but if she did, it doesn't appear to have frightened her. He was the only one around. And don't call him that. The idiot must have tried to help me. I'm pretty sure I was the one that threw him into the barrier.'_

'_Serves him right. Though, I do feel sorry for anyone who tries to come near you during those times. You must have hit him pretty hard for him to be unconscious. It's a shame I wasn't there to see it!' _

I simply frowned down on her. '_I should try to get rest. Tomorrow will be a long, non-stop journey and this will already slow me down. Besides, I need to make sure that the demon will lay low while I'm gone. I might have to take the kid with me. Who knows what could happen if anyone finds her.' _

'_And you think he's just going to listen to you?'_

'_I never said he would. Besides, he already said no. That's why he's unconscious and burned right now.'_ I couldn't help the arrogant smirk that formed.

'_He's not going to listen to you, Kagome. Might as well tie him, encircle him with ofuda and lock him up in your room. That's the only way he's going to stay put until we come back. Unless, you've reconsidered my offer and let me―'_

'_NO. And stop asking if you know I'm going to say no.'_

'_Fine. But if he's staying here, I'm leaving. If I stay any longer, I might decide to ignore you and kill him. I'll wait for you tomorrow at the south gate entrance. Even the bubbly kid is better company right now. Oyasumi nasai.'_

'_Oyasumi nasai. Stay close,' _I bumped her head and she licked my temple.

After she left, I grabbed the small medicine box from a shelf and extracted some herbs to help with his burns. Though I realized that by the time I had selected and prepared the ointment, his youkai blood had already beaten me to the task. The burns were no more than small pink superficial spots. This led me to believe that the only thing keeping him unconscious was the purification energy I released inside his body.

Heading in the direction of the bathroom, I grabbed a thick sleeping yukata and changed. Eriko was happily scrubbing herself inside the "tub". I picked up a cloth and a small basin and filled it with cool water. Kneeling next to him once more, I dampened the cloth and put it on his forehead. He smiled and most of my anger melted away. I pushed aside his bangs and placed a kiss on his crescent moon. The sensation it sent through my body made me shiver.

_You're making me soft!_

Placing my forehead against his, I let his demonic aura embrace my own spiritual one. I felt him caress mine with tenderness. "Just stay behind. This is something I must do. If you still wish to follow me afterwards, then I will no longer try to kill you. Just let me do this on my own. I'll return in less than six days. I promise." I whispered.

Grabbing the blanket at the foot of my futon, I placed it on him. I moved to the door and sat by it. Most of the night I watched Sesshoumaru sleep. And when I wasn't staring at him, I gazed out at the new moon. If anything, tonight's new moon was the only solace in my life. _The_ _new moon that always made me safe_.

As fast as that smile came, it left. I reflected on my '_attack'_. I was accustomed to the painful attacks that came each month. I even knew the precise moment they would come. Yet, this one had been different. Not only had it been at least thrice as painful, but it had come earlier. Kirara could have been right and Sesshoumaru's mark could have accelerated the process. However, it still did not explain the increase in pain. Plus, ever since the pain began at the age of five, I had never lost consciousness. I had no idea of what happened for those few instants that my mind went into darkness.

I gave a quick glance at the dog demon that was asleep. Whatever happened, I needed to know. I made a mental note to ask him when he awakened. Especially now that the kid sleeping at the other end of the room was adamant in following me around. I ran hand over my face.

_Just my luck to be followed around by the worst possible beings! _

* * *

Morning came and before Sesshoumaru woke up, I tried to recall all of the anger he had caused yesterday but failed. That is, until I remembered that his presence distracted me from saving the children that even now littered the streets of Kamakura. I went into my bathroom and dumped the cold water inside the tub. I wasn't about to bring Lana in here and find the demon sleeping in my futon.

Peeling the clothes off in anger, I jumped in and scrubbed myself clean.

When I slipped out of the water, I heard moving around. I looked at the closed shoji wondering if I should go out. I didn't know if I could face him after what I had said last night when I had brought him in. Determined to get an answer, I dressed myself quickly in my chihaya. I didn't have much time. The houshi would be waiting for me and my trip had already been delayed.

I slid the door and he was sitting, back to the wall. He probably was too tall for the room. I passed by him without acknowledging him. Crossing the room to where my bow was, I grabbed it and put it next to the door. I crossed the room again and stopped at a small armoire. Opening one of the drawers I pulled out another change of clothes. I also pulled out a large square cloth and wrapped the extra chihaya in it.

I was about to leave when he moved in front of me. Sesshoumaru made a funny picture with his back so forward I thought he would fall over me any instant. He impeded further movement so I just stared at his chest. I moved right, he moved right. I moved left, he moved left. I moved back, he moved to the front. I rolled my eyes and let out a stifling sigh.

"Get out of my way."

"I need to explain to you why I marked you," he replied.

"There's nothing to explain." I moved again but he still wouldn't let me leave.

He grabbed one of my shoulders and his other hand lifted my chin so that I was now looking at him. "It was you."

"WHAT! All I did – "

"Will you let me finish?" He hissed. I turned around and went to sit at the edge of bed.

I saw him pace back and forth ― sort of. He was obviously trying to find the words to explain. "My youkai awoke to you...or rather... to your _scent_."

I looked at him and furrowed my brows. "My scent? _My scent_ made you almost attack your bro―"

"Yes." He wouldn't look at me and was instead gazing intently past me, at the closed door.

"So, _my scent_ told you to impose a claim on me! _I'm sorry_," I put my hand to my heart dramatically. "Next time I'll try not to wear a _scent_ that screams '_please mark me'!"_ I nearly screamed at him if I wasn't aware that there were people already up and about.

"How the hell am I supposed to react when the most beautiful and only woman in existence I have ever shown any interest in is being visited by my brothers?! At the moment I felt Juro as a threat to my courting and so did my youkai. And when you came, it thought you were afraid of Juro. That's why I needed to establish a link that my youkai thought necessary to protect you."

I could feel the color leave my face. I turned. There were sounds of guards arguing with a salesman. There was also Eriko's aura and she was playing with something in the garden. I lowered my head and whispered to him. "I... I... don't understand."

He was in back of me and my back stiffened. I could feel my body react to him. My aura tried to attach itself to his and I gulped. I moved back but was obstructed by him. He leaned in and nuzzled my neck. It was very much like _he_ had done in my dream. However, the feeling was different. In my dream, it had felt so natural, so perfect. Here, now, it was...new. His arms encircled me and I felt myself relax somehow.

"See how your aura reacts?" He said through labored breathes. I just nodded. "And now you see how _I_ react to you?" Again I nodded. "I know it's not something that you do on purpose, but please try to relax around me. For both our sakes."

It was then that his earlier words sank in. "You think I'm beautiful?" I asked nervously.

He laughed softly and turned me to face him. He stared at me straight in the eyes and said, "No. I _know_ you are the most beautiful, stubborn and frightening woman ― when angered ― in the world."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Riiiight." He hugged me once again and placed a kiss on my head. I pulled from his embrace and hardened my face. "I have to go. I should leave if I want to return in six days."

Grabbing the small bundle in the futon I walked to the door and reached for my yumi. I didn't want to look back in fear of not being able to leave. I pushed the wooden door open and stepped out. I was closing it when his voice stopped me.

"Hurry back. I'll miss you."

I gazed at him. "Stay out of viewing range and keep your senses open for any who comes nearby. No one comes inside but the servants and the samurai are usually close." Closing the door, I left without another word.


	31. Chapter 31

_**I have always believed that all things depend upon Fortune, and nothing upon ourselves.**_

_**-Lord Byron**_

**CHAPTER 29**

**1204 A.D. **_**SEPTEMBER**_

_He leapt through branches in hopes that the jumping distance would get him to his destination faster. He knew he could always transform, but that would only attract unwanted attention and that was the last thing he wanted. His every sense was on alert. Thousands of thoughts ran through his mind. But the most important was: How was he going to handle this?_

_He had practically been kicked out of the Crescent Moon. He stopped mid jump when a familiar scent assaulted his nose. Perching himself on the highest tree he saw, he awaited until the well known figure stopped and looked up at him._

"_What are you doing back?" There was a bit of hostility._

"_Believe me, my friend, that that is the least of your worries," came the voice of an amused inu youkai up in the tree. He leapt down landing about five feet in front of his friend._

"_Has something happened?" If something went wrong and he..._

"_Calm down, Sesshoumaru. Everything is fine." 'At least until your father decides how to kill you!' thought Ujio._

_Sesshoumaru sighed and turned to sit down under the tree his friend had just jumped from. Ujio stood in front of him, a scowl on his handsome face. They remained in silence, both of them never removing their eyes from each other._

"_He knows." The simple phrase made the demon prince begin to worry._

"_You told him, I presume?" He narrowed his eyes._

"_It was either that or have my throat ripped out, bone by bone by the Inu no Taishou. And I think we both know he would have." He felt bad for exposing his 'brother', but even Sesshoumaru knew that his father would have found out anyways. Youkai that visited the castle had already begun to spread the rumor._

"_Does he know WHO exactly it is I'm... 'visiting'?" He at least hoped that her name had remained anonymous._

"_Unless you have conversed and met other miko, I am more than positive that he does." He waited for a panicked reaction from Sesshoumaru, but was surprised when he merely stood and began walking towards the western lands._

_Ujio followed him and when he fell in place next to him, he asked. "What are you going to do?"_

_The inu prince stopped for a moment and then faced down. He himself wondered what it is that he was going to tell his chichi-ue when he got home. Clearly, the Daiyoukai would not even listen to any reasoning and completely prohibit him from ever leaving the western territories. He could almost picture his father going to the lengths of chaining him to the dungeons of the old castle and keeping him drugged for the rest of his existence. All in an attempt, of course, to keep him from ever seeing Kagome again._

"_Honestly, I'm not sure. But I will tell you one thing. I'm not going to let my father have a say in this." He began walking again, this time a little faster._

"_Is she really worth all this Sesshoumaru?" He could almost know the answer, but if Sesshoumaru was going to go through with this, then he needed to know. As much as he disliked the idea (for reasons even he didn't understand), he had to admit that she had something that had already changed Sesshoumaru, and even him. That something was one thing he had to give her credit for because no amount of females had made Sesshoumaru take interest in life again._

"_She is worth this and much more. She holds my very existence in her hands. And I would gladly give up my life, my heart and my very soul, just to have her smile at me."_

_Ujio kept his gaze in front of him. Sesshoumaru might very well have to give up all that and more in order to be with her. But apparently, this didn't seem to bother him. "Well, then, I suggest we start going over what we're going to say to our chichi-ue. No doubt he's going to strangle you before a word is out of your mouth." He chuckled at this last part trying to ease the nerves of the prince._

_Sesshoumaru abruptly stopped and looked at his friend, cocking an eyebrow. "We? I don't recall asking your help in this?"_

"_WE never did have to ask for help between the three of us, remember? Have I ever backed down from a challenge? Besides, like it or not, she's pack now." Ujio made a hurtful face._

_Sesshoumaru just shook his head and smiled at his friend. He was right. Juro, Ujio and he had always been there for each other since the first time they met. Ujio had been ten, Juro six and Sesshoumaru five when they all laid eyes on each other and a friendship developed that very day ― the fact that they were family made the comrade even easier. And since then, they had been inseparable and invincible._

"_I know. But, if I remember correctly, I thought you said you hated her. Which reminds me... you and I have to talk about what happened at the lake."_

"_Oh, I still don't like her. HOWEVER... if you think that she's worth the effort... by all means... Besides, I must admit that I judged her based on rumors. In the end, I have to admire her courage in battle as well as her honor. She could have easily killed all of us after the war ended. We both know that the pact between her and father was dissolved right when it all ended. Yet she even offered her allegiance. As for my 'actions', I told you already that she's pack. That's all. " He ran a claw through ruffled onyx bangs._

_Ujio caught the smirk from his friend and smiled himself. Whatever hold this miko had on Sesshoumaru must be really strong. He wondered what exactly she could possess to have males drop to their feet with just one word. Kami knew that she had Juro, Sesshoumaru, the Great Inu General... and he hated to admit, even himself, eating out of the palm of her hand! He tossed that thought aside and a mischievous grin formed in his face._

"_So, are you going to tell me what exactly you've been up to since we left? Any progress?"_

_At this, Sesshoumaru threw his head back and laughed. Somehow Ujio knew that just maybe he could come to like this miko. The Sesshoumaru that had disappeared after the death of his mother now seemed to resurface and he knew it was thanks to her. Well, he would have to at least thank her for that._

"_My dear Ujio, if you only knew!"_

"_We have time." Ujio shrugged._

"_Then let us sit down. I don't want you falling down from what you're going to hear. Though I might have to skip on some minor details if I want to get home to get disowned and make it back in time to Kagome's castle in order to await her arrival."_

"_Wow! Already on a tight chain and you haven't even mated her!" He barely dodged the rock Sesshoumaru threw at his head._

_They sat for almost an hour as he related all the events of the past few hours. Sesshoumaru even confided on his suspicions of another male moving in on 'his territory'. The incident from earlier that morning was also discussed and he even gloated about the 'special necklace' that consisted of a single sapphire on a silver chain that Kagome gave him before she left, that allowed him to pass through the barrier surrounding the castle._

"_So, I suppose you have made progress. And from what you tell me and judging from her reactions, I can honestly say that you might just have a chance. What we do have to find out though, is this other male you think there is. Tell me, have you smelled that scent on anyone that has shown an interest in your miko? Maybe it's that wanna-be-warrior that we saw follow her like some sick little puppy?"_

"_Iiee. Like I said before, no other male has that scent. It frustrates me to no end that I can't even bring myself to ask her. I have gained some territory with her and I really don't want to lose ground. You have no idea how aggravating it felt when she calls me 'inu youkai'." Sesshoumaru picked up another rock and threw it, almost hitting Ujio._

"_I know patience is something that doesn't come very easy to youkai in our family, but if you have managed to get in her good graces, I suggest that for the moment, you satisfy yourself with that."_

"_You're right, I guess. However, I don't know how much more I will be able to be 'just friends'. Whenever I have her in front of me, I just want to ri ―"_

_Ujio just raised an eyebrow and had to press his lips together to keep from laughing. "You're really in deep my brother! Kami save you when father finds out the particular thoughts you have in store for his little miko!"_

"_Speaking of father, we should make a mad dash to the Crescent Moon. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can return."_

_Both inu youkai were engulfed in a blue light that disappeared into the sky._

* * *

I was silently praying to the Kami to strike me down. The annoying child would just not SHUT UP! Ever since I snuck her out of the castle, even avoiding Lana, she had not stopped talking about everything and anything. I was pretty sure that if a fly flew in front of her she would immediately start laughing.

As hard as it was, I had to recognize that the trip was somewhat more 'interesting' – for lack of a better word. Eriko asked question after question. Some of which included who my mother was, where I found the pretty glass ball around my neck, where we were going, how much longer we were going to travel, and why my eye color was different from anyone else's. All those I could endure, though most were answered through gritted teeth. However, the one that almost had me choking on my own saliva was when she innocently asked why Sesshoumaru and I had not had children.

"He looks like a really good husband. Does he not want children?"

I wasn't sure how to answer her question. First of all, Sesshoumaru and I were not married. Secondly, he was an inu youkai. And third, I absolutely loathed the demon.

"The... uh... man... you saw in my bedchambers is not my husband." Feeling quite satisfied with my answer I looked at her.

She looked ahead, clearly assimilating my reply. Then she asked, "Then why does he sleep in your room and in your bed?"

I closed my eyes. How the hell was I going to answer a question to which even I did not have an answer to? I cast my eyes towards the heavens.

_This was going to be a long trip. And to think, that I had another day of blissful questioning. Oh Joy! _

* * *

"It's the first time in six years that I have arrived before you. If I didn't know you better, I'd say something more important has kept you."

"And I'm also glad to see you," I replied sarcastically. I walked faster and embraced him. "I hate that we have to see each other like this. I'm growing weary of these secret meetings."

He pushed me from him slowly and took my hand guiding me to a small log where he had been sitting when I had first come upon him. "I do too, but we both agreed that this was the only way we could be together."

"That does not make it any easier. But you are right. The time will come when we can finally be together and no one will ever be able to keep us apart." I gazed into his hazel eyes and smiled. "So, how are things in your side of the world? Do you need anything?"

His eyes trailed off my face as soon as he saw the child hiding behind a tree. Looking at me for an explanation, I only shrugged. He walked up to Eriko and extended a hand to her. Hesitantly she took it and walked back with him.

"And who might you be?" he inquired softly.

"My name is Gi­―, I mean, Eriko. Miko-sama was kind to me and has been taking care of me." She grinned at him and added, "I live with her in her castle!"

"Really?" She bobbed her head until I thought it was going to fall off. Then he told her to go unpack our belongings. He looked back at me. "Does _he_ know?"

"Do you think she'd be here if he did? Look I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I had no choice. As soon as we return, I'll make sure to leave her in some village."

"She obviously wants to be by your side."

"If she does, she certainly has a death wish," I replied sardonically.

"You can't give her away Kagome. Maybe you can let her stay with you. I think it will bode well for both of you."

I wasn't going to argue. My time with him was limited and I didn't wish to waste any seconds talking about something that could be resolved later. "I asked if you needed anything."

He picked up Kirara who was rubbing her little body on his arm and was now circling in his lap to nestle there. "I'm fending alright. I've been training more and I have even been given the honor of being called a samurai of the furusato I am living in. Of course I will never be as good as you!" He nudged me and winked.

I bit my lip and looked down to my feet. I wanted so much to be able to tell the world about him. He was all that had kept me going all these years. How can I not want to wake up every day knowing that I would see his beautiful smile? I looked at his smiling face. How cruel and unfair life had been to both of us.

"Kagome, what's wrong? Please don't tell me that you're still blaming yourself for our situation. Because if you are then - "

I put up my hand to silence him. "How can I not? We deserve to be together!" He put his arm around me and pulled me to him.

"Look, someday we will. For now all we can do is wait and be patient. The day will come when you and I can be together. Just hold on for me, okay?"

"Hai." I sighed.

"You seem different. Your gaze seems... softer. There's something else, isn't there? Even your aura feels different." Of course, there was. But I wasn't going to tell him about Sesshoumaru just yet. Without thinking, I pulled at the cloak around my neck to cover the courting mark.

"Iiee. There have been some unexpected events. That's all. Nothing to worry about. Let's not talk about him - " I cringed and mentally slapped myself. _Damn, the first thing I told myself I wouldn't say! _I glanced at a giggling Eriko, hoping she had not heard and praying she never brought up Sesshoumaru.

"Him?" He turned my face with this hand. "Tell me everything. And don't you think about letting anything out Kagome because I won't let you leave until you do." His tone had changed to a rather serious and altogether grim one. He was able to see and sense auras. His spiritual power was, however, limited. Unlike my powers, his had never been trained.

I stood and kept my back to him. For one thing he was right. I wasn't going to be able to keep this from him. And it was nothing really important. The inu youkai and I had no ties. I would at least keep the more intimate details out. If he were to know these things, he'd probably hunt down Sesshoumaru and kill him for even looking at me.

I straightened my back and carefully turned to face him. Inhaling his calming cider and fir scent, I began to relate all that had happened – from the first visit Ujio gave me to the feast at the Daiyoukai's palace. Needless to say, when I got to the part when Sesshoumaru had 'suggested' I sing he was almost breaking the log he was sitting on with his nails. Even Kirara had jumped from his lap and had moved to a safe distance far, far away. I tried to ignore that as I continued with the story.

Astonishingly he took the news of my allegiance to the youkai rather well. In fact, it didn't even seem to bother him. What I did notice, was the slight cringe in his body whenever my father's name was mentioned. Even a stranger could notice the hatred he felt for the okami. Not that I blame him, for he was the reason we could not be together. He had separated us.

"This... youkai... Lord Sesshoumaru... what is he to you?" I noticed the anger in each word.

Fainting a calmness which I didn't even feel, I tried phrasing my answer carefully as not to make him any more uncomfortable. "Nothing. I absolutely loathe the man, er, youkai."

"Do you?" He stood next to me and lifted my chin.

I saw the worry and the pleading in his eyes. "I... have come to accept a truce between us. But that is all that binds me to him" _Kami if he only knew! _

"Kagome, I love you. I don't want to lose you. I...am afraid of this... 'tomonari' (developing friendship) with the inu youkai." I hugged myself.

"Shinpai shinaide. If there is ever anything, I can assure you that it will never escalate more than a simple friendship. You will always be the only man in my life." I gave him a pat on the shoulder and pushed him to the ground. "Now, let's see how much your training you've done!"

He ran after me and tackled me to the ground. We sparred for a while but then we stopped to hunt for food and set up camp. I was more than glad when he offered to cook so I could bathe in the small river. Eriko had sat quietly watching us the entire time. If she'd been hungry or uncomfortable, she never once complained. As nightfall came, we settled in a tight embrace by the fire as he recalled some of his journeys. The small child fell asleep next to me.

"She really does like you."

"I don't know why. I have offered nothing nor cared for her."

"Worldly things come and go Kagome. We both know that. But I think Eriko has seen in you what Lana, Kirara, the Inu no Taishou and I do."

"I wouldn't know what you mean. There is nothing I have to offer to anyone."

"She sees the real you. Not the miko or the hime or the power. She sees a woman who has so much to offer. A woman who radiates love and affection even when she is unaware of it. That is why she follows you. She needs someone who can love her and someone who needs the love she has to offer."

"She can keep it for all I care. What has love brought us but more pain?"

"Don't say that. Life will eventually put everything in its place. We just have to be patient. Please don't lose faith. And don't let the anger make you bitter."

"I won't promise anything. But I'll try – for you."

Time seemed to pass by in a flash when I was with him. By midday the next day, Eriko and I were already changed and getting ready to go to my gilded cage once more. We said our goodbyes as always and agreed on a location and day for our next meeting. With a tender kiss to my forehead, he waved me goodbye and galloped away in his horse. Every time he left, he took with him a piece of my heart.

Picking up Eriko and placing her on Kirara, I made sure that there was no evidence we had been here. Then I returned to her and swallowed my pride. "I'm not used to asking favors. But this is something that could harm the man that was just here. And for him and him alone, I am willing to kneel before anyone if need be."

I took in a deep breath and continued. "No one, and I mean, NO ONE, can know anything that happened since we arrived here. No one can know why we came, who we met and what we did here. No one can know his identity or what we talked about. Please, keep this secret with you. If anyone should ever question you the purpose of this journey, I want you to tell them that I came here to meditate and cleanse my body. I know I am making you lie, but I wouldn't be asking this if it weren't necessary. Can I trust you?"

She giggled and covered her mouth immediately. "Gomen, miko-sama. It's just so funny. You didn't need to ask. I know that you wanted this to be a secret. I'm just glad you trusted me enough to let me be a part of it." She held her hand to her heart. "I promise that I will NEVER utter a word about this."

I just couldn't understand this child, but I nodded. "Arigatou. Now, let's be on our way."

_

* * *

_

Both inu youkai crossed the gate to the garden in the Crescent Moon. However, only the older youkai was able to continue walking. Sesshoumaru was thrown roughly against the surrounding walls and managed to go through it.

"_Get out of here!" The red-eyed Daiyoukai yelled at his other son._

"_I'm sorry, my lord, but I cannot do that. You have to - " Just like Sesshoumaru, Ujio was punched and thrown across the garden. Upon recovering from the blow, he gave an apologetic gaze to the demon prince and disappeared into the castle._

_Sesshoumaru stood and faced his father. He didn't want to, but if it came down to fighting with his father, then Kami save them both. He was not giving up Kagome without a fight._

"_I __**will not**__ ask. You are to stay away from Kagome and you will NEVER even think about her ever again. IS THAT CLEAR?" _

"_Sumimasen, chichi-ue, demo, for the first time in my entire life I will not heed your words. I am not letting go of her. Not for you, not for anyone." Deep, deep inside, the young inu youkai was trembling._

_The Inu no Taishou regarded his son and his words. If it were not for the many things he knew, and that Sesshoumaru would never understand, he would be the first to further the union. Nevertheless, he just couldn't allow this. At least not until the rest of his doubts were appeased._

"_NO. SESSHOUMARU SHE IS NOT MEANT FOR YOU! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE GETTING YOURSELF INTO. SHE'S NOT - " He stopped when he realized that his son was glaring at him. _

"_No. It is you who doesn't understand. I am no longer a pup who you can order around. I respect you but I __**can**__ make my own decisions. Father, I - " Inu no Taishou clenched his fists. _

"_IF YOU'RE NO LONGER A PUP, THEN STOP ACTING LIKE ONE! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND LOOK AT YOU. __**SHE**__ IS A HUNTER... AND __**YOU**__ ARE THE HUNTED! YOU TWO DON'T BELONG TOGETHER. I'M SURE THAT SHE HAS A BETTER HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS AND REALIZES THAT THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR HER. BUT SESSHOUMARU... IT'S NOT YOU!" He tried hard to make his son see._

_There was a long silence in which both of them glared at each other, neither daring to look away. It was then that a thought crossed the demon prince which only made him loose more control. "I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO AND IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. YOU WANT HER FOR YOURSELF! WHEN YOU USED THE BLOOD RITUAL ON HER, YOU MEANT TO MARK HER AS YOUR OWN... NO! I WON'T LET YOU HAVE HER... SHE'S MINE. SHE - " Another quick blow, too quick for him to have seen, sent him across the garden. The few guards, who had only been witnesses until this point, began running to help the younger youkai. A loud and threatening growl stopped them and they fearfully moved back._

"_DON'T YOU EVER IMPLY SUCH MONSTROSITY! SHE IS LIKE A DAUGHTER TO ME." The Inu no Taishou noticed that his son was rapidly becoming enraged. At this rate, he would not listen to a word he had to say. He began walking back to the castle entrance. He ordered his son to follow him._

_In the privacy of the Daiyoukai's study, they both sat facing each other. The demon lord's eyes were still red, but his countenance was that of calmness. Sesshoumaru was fighting on his own to keep his own youkai from surfacing. They both waited until they saw that it was safe to continue without another fight. Moments passed as the Daiyoukai tried to understand why Sesshoumaru's smell had interlaced itself so much with the miko's. He narrowed his eyes when he comprehended that his impulsive son must have marked her. _

_He held himself still. An outburst at this moment was the worst thing he could do. If Sesshoumaru had marked Kagome, which at this point he was pretty sure, injuring his son would not bode well for Kagome. He pressed his hands against his desk. The pup was going to suffer more than he'd ever know. What he needed now was to find a solution to this situation. The courting mark would disappear in a short time and if he kept a close eye on Sesshoumaru, he'd make sure he didn't have the chance to renew the mark._

_An hour and a half later..._

"_You know that Kagome is like a daughter to me. I would do anything to keep her from any more suffering. We both know how terrible her upbringing has been and if it is in my hands to avoid any more distress to her, then I would move mountains in order to do so." He was left with the rest of his argument in his mind when his son interjected._

"_Then you must understand that I would also do anything in my own power not to hurt her." _

"_Sai (my son), if... if Kagome were... if circumstances were different." With a long sigh, he continued. "Just trust me when I tell you that Kagome cannot be with you. And if you feel anything ―"_

_Sesshoumaru hastily bolted from his seat. "Chichi-ue," he reflexively ran a hand through his face, "you of all youkai know that I shielded myself from the world a long time ago. I've closed myself to the possibility of being happy. But ever since Kagome... because of her... I've stopped running away from love. I no longer want to live inside myself. I want to live within her, to respond to her and to grow from her response to me. I never want to shut her out of my life because she is the best thing that's ever happened to me."_

_The Inu no Taishou was shocked beyond words. He never thought that he would be hearing this from Sesshoumaru. He knew exactly how he felt. Aikiko had had a similar effect on him when he met her. Still, things were different between Sesshoumaru and Kagome. If only Kagome would have been born a youkai, then what a perfect Lady of the West she would have been._

"_Tell me Sesshoumaru, truthfully, does she return your feelings?" The Daiyoukai hoped with all his soul that she didn't. That would only add to both their sufferings._

_The inu prince considered his father's words carefully. He could easily lie and say yes but his father would see through him clearly. "I don't know. There were times when I could almost swear that she did. The fact that her blood accepted mine can be somewhat of a proof that she at least has some feelings toward me."_

_He thought about what he was going to say next. Sesshoumaru was not going to like what he was about to propose, but if there __**was**__ indeed any hope for them, then it would be worth it. "I'll make you a deal." Sesshoumaru eyed him suspiciously but waited for what was to come. "You promise to stay away from Kagome for some time __**until**__ I can discern certain things. If my doubts have been dissolved by what I find, then I will be the first to defend your relationship with her. To be honest, nothing would please me more than to have her as a daughter bonded by blood."_

_Sesshoumaru turned the idea in his head. Whatever the Daiyoukai wanted to find must be something of great importance if he considered it an obstacle. "It is a reasonable deal. And although I do not wish to stop seeing her, I accept. But I tell you now, that I will only wait for so long. If by the time the autumn season comes, and you have not come to a decision, then I will continue with my previous plans." Little did his otou-san know that he had other plans._

"_It's settled then. At dusk you leave for the northern border of our lands to receive our newest shipments from the mainland." He reached for a scroll and tossed it to his son._

_The prince was about to protest but another idea came to mind. "Very well. I shall go rest for some time and then I will be on my way." He bowed and opening the door to exit he paused and glanced at his father. "Chichi-ue if you have no objections, I would like both Juro and Ujio to accompany me." He only got a nod from the demon that was already immersed in several scrolls._

_Ujio was speaking with Juro when Sesshoumaru found them in his heya. His brothers immediately questioned him and he answered. "Listen, I need both of your help." _

_They sat with him and heard his every word._

* * *

It was close to the fifth day since I had left the imperial city to uptake my monthly journey. The path I had chosen on my return was much faster but more dangerous. The stretch between the mountains was rumored to be guarded by many youkai. What was important to me right now was getting home as fast as possible before a certain silver-haired demon ran havoc.

I had send Kirara ahead with Eriko and told her to wait for me at the end of this particular path. I was sure that there would be attacks and Eriko would be a constant distraction. The wind was starting to blow harder and the sky was turning a darker gray. I picked up my pace and before I knew it, I was running up along the path. One or two youkai stopped me long enough to catch my breath.

Without further warning the rain poured down and I was forced to find shelter inside a small cave. Thankfully, it was big enough to build a fire and pass the weather. I removed my haori and hakama and hanged it on the edge of a protruding rock, leaving on only my hadajuban. I began building a fire with the thin logs I picked up. Once the fire had picked up, I moved closer to it rubbing at my own shoulders to keep from freezing. The cold water was making me shiver endlessly.

_BOOM!_ The cave lit up and suddenly the cold water was no longer an issue.

_

* * *

_

Okay. So he lied when he said he'd keep his word. But was it not worth the woman you loved?

_He traveled through the sky in his blue sphere to get there with more than enough time to receive Kagome with a surprise. Now was the perfect time to give her the circlet and confess his love to her. Sesshoumaru thought about all the things he could say to explain how their constant bickering was a way to get her attention. _

_He looked up from the ground where he was currently trying to stand. All the thinking had made him miss his landing and he fell face first in the mud. The rain was now getting stronger and it was difficult to see what was in front of him. So, with that in mind, he decided that he'd walk instead of running the rest of the way. It wasn't much longer to the castle in Kamakura._

_Every now and then a bolt of lightning lit up the land in a flash of brilliance, and each clap of thunder was so loud and unexpected, he jumped when he walked. Kami, how he loved thunderstorms. Hard to tell why. Maybe it was just the proof of nature's power over all the beings. Maybe it was the sheer energy of the light and sound that pounded around him. Whatever the case, it made him feel alive._

_When he arrived, he noticed that several carriages were outside the palace. It was strange that he had never once noticed these before, but he dismissed them with a shrug. Sesshoumaru was about to jump up the wall and into Kagome's room when a pain in his chest stopped him. It was a bizarre and awkward feeling._

_Something was wrong. He looked around frantically for any signs of danger but nothing in the area seemed out of place. Shaking his head he once again began walking when the feeling stabbed him again, sharper this time. He clutched the bark of a tree to keep his balance._

_A whimper._

_His mind was really playing games with him today. The whispering cry sounded so frightened but when he surveyed his surroundings he found no one. He waited a few seconds and then he moved once more. It seemed the hindering feeling was gone, whatever it had been. Then out of nowhere an image flashed across his mind._

_Kagome!_

_Without second guessing he raced across the city, leaping on the rooftops of the huts. His instincts guided him. He was already running for a good twenty minutes when a yellow and black shape flying above his head halted his movements._

"_Kirara." Kami, he hoped the damn neko would recognize him._

_Fortunately, the neko heard him and landed by him. She cocked her head in confusion. Sesshoumaru didn't miss the small girl covered in Kagome's cloak on the neko's back. He moved towards her slowly so she would not take it as an attack. Sensing his uneasiness, Kirara growled at him something he wasn't able to understand. The small child got off and ran under the tree. _

_From there, the neko stood next to the child in a protective stance. The child petted the neko and looked up to Sesshoumaru. He realized she wasn't afraid as he tried to recall where he had seen this particular child. It took some moments but he recognized her as the child that left with Kagome. _

"_What is your name child?" he asked in his softest voice._

"_Eriko," she replied. "You were in miko-sama's futon."_

_He nodded. "I'm a friend of hers." He glared at the neko who made a sound close to a snort when he answered._

_Sesshoumaru released his breath and went to kneel in front of her, careful of the neko. "Eriko, where is Kagome?" _

_The small girl turned her head up in the direction of the mountain. Sesshoumaru followed her gaze and saw the path that went through the mountains. "She sent me ahead on Kirara and told us to wait for her down here."_

_Risking the chance of losing his hand, he patted the neko and bowed to the child. To his surprise, the neko just looked up at him. _

"_Find shelter. I will go look for Kagome and I will see you tomorrow morning in this same spot." The youkai cat stood and growled at him._

"_No. Don't worry. I will not harm her. I just want to make sure she is fine. I promise to bring her back." It seemed to ponder on his words but settled to give him the benefit of the doubt. It probably just understood that it had a child to look after._

_Sesshoumaru waited no longer when the thundering and lightening increased. He flew up towards the path and walked looking around for her. The rain drowned out any scents so he could not rely on his nose. He thought of calling out to her but he knew of the youkai that inhabited these areas and thought it best to just look._

_Then that formed another thought and not a good one. What if she had been attacked? What if she was injured and lying half dead somewhere? What if they were holding her captive and torturing her? What if ―_

_Another painful stab._

_Even with the rain beating against his entire body he could hear the sound of his boots against the wet path. One of his brows rose in question. There was a small opening to a cave a few inches ajar and he could almost smell the remains of a small fire coming from within. He was fairly certain that it was not a youkai because he sensed no demonic aura. Someone must have gone in to avoid getting caught in the thunderstorm and probably left the fire to burn out itself. It was a rather odd feeling that drove him to find out who was inside._

_He entered the cave. One entire wall of the cave was filled with greenery so that the little rain the entered through small crevices bathed them. A crack of thunder shook on the floor, then practically on top of that, a flash of lightning split the night. The electricity of the moment made him grin, and he crossed over to where the fire would have been left burning. He leaned over, looking for clues, and then..._

_He heard something._

_It was the sound of breath. Panicked, labored, with the slightest touch of a whimper. Sesshoumaru looked purposefully around the cave. "Is someone here?" he called out. But he could not see anyone. Then he heard it again. From the corner._

_Expanding his own senses, he moved towards the shape. And his breath was sucked right out of his body._

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I've tried repeatedly to keep my chapters from ending like this but it's just an impossible feat. While I've already written four more chapters in advance, I'm just a bit too OCD to just post them. My beta and I are discussing them and editing them, so as soon as they are ready and I get some time to myself, I'll post them.

**Also, I must warn all of you that I will no longer be updating weekly. After I came back from the convention I assisted, I was given a promotion. Most of you know that a better job means more responsibility. I'm working longer hours and every other weekend. So, updates will come whenever my schedule allows me. Don't worry though, for I ALWAYS see my projects through. It might take a little longer than I thought but Chou Shoki WILL be finished no matter what. Plus, it kind of helps that I've outlined all my chapters in all three trilogies already!**

**Well, kiddies...until next time!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hello readers! It's been a looong while and I do apologize but my computer has been having seizures lately.**

**Thank you to those who have reviewed. Although I must confess that I was a bit disappointed when I only got six or seven reviews. Well, hopefully with this new update you will leave some remarks.**

**I do have some quick notes that I must address to the three sites I have this story posted on.**

**1.) A SINGLE SPARK: All of you who read this story on this site, I have come to the decision of discontinuing the story here. Most of you know that it won't be long before the site itself shuts down and becomes a read-only website. In light of that, I'm just trying to save myself the trouble of waiting for it to shut down on me. So, any member of this site you are advised to continue reading this story on either of the two other sites. Hopefully, I won't loose any of you after this switch because you are truly dear to me. THESE ARE THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS POSTED HERE!**

**2.) FANFICTION: This is just a short message for all of you. During the next week, I will be reposting the story due to technical reasons on the site. If any of you see any updates, then make sure what chapters are being posted.**

**3.) MEDIAMINER: You asked for it and you got it! After all your encouraging reviews (and which I won't still forgive most of you; all your reviews were a bit late), the story will continue. That doesn't mean, however, that I won't want more reviews from all of you. I need more feedback to keep this story alive. I'll be waiting for those reviews :shakes finger:**

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We are all selfish and I no more trust myself than others with a good motive.

-Lord Byron

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CHAPTER 30

"_Dear Kami," he gasped. "Kagome."_

_She was curled up into a ball, her arms wrapped around her bent legs so tightly it looked as if she were about to shatter. Her head was bent down, her eye sockets resting on her knees, and her entire body was shaking with fast intense tremors. Sesshoumaru's blood ran to ice. He'd never seen someone shake like that._

"_Kagome?" he said again, setting himself in front of her as he moved closer. He couldn't tell if she could hear him. She seemed to have retreated into herself, desperate to escape something. Even her aura seemed to have disappeared. Was it the storm? Sesshoumaru knew that most people didn't thrive on electrical storms as he did, being he'd never heard of someone being reduced to this. She looked as if she'd break into a million brittle pieces if he so much as touched her._

_Thunder shook the cave, and her body flinched with such torment that Sesshoumaru felt it in his gut. "Oh, Kagome," he whispered. It broke his heart to see her thus. With a careful and steady hand, he reached out to her. He still wasn't sure if she'd even registered his presence; startling her could set off her spiritual powers._

_Gently he set his hand on her upper arm and gave it the tiniest of squeezes. "I'm here Kagome," he murmured. "Everything will be all right."_

_Lightning tore through the night, flashing the cave with a sharp burst of light, and she squeezed herself into an even tighter ball, if that was possible. It occurred to him that she was trying to shield her eyes by keeping her face to her knees. He moved closer and took one of her hand in his. Her skin was like ice, her fingers stiff from terror. It was difficult to pry her arm from around her legs, but eventually he was able to bring her hand to his mouth, and he pressed his lips against her skin, trying to warm her._

"_I'm here, Kagome," he repeated, not really sure what else to say. "I'm here. It will be all right."_

_Eventually he managed to scoot himself closer in front of her so that she was sitting in between his legs on the floor, with his arms around her trembling form. She seemed to relax slightly at his touch, which left him with the oddest feeling – almost a sense of pride that he had been the one to be able to help her. That, and a bone-deep feeling of relief, because it was killing him to see her in such torment. He noticed she was still shivering so he took off his haori and put it around her._

_He whispered soothing words in her ear and softly caressed her back, trying to comfort her with his mere presence. And slowly – very slowly; he had no idea how many minutes he sat on the corner with her – he could feel her muscles begin to unwind. Her skin lost that awful clammy feeling, and her breathing, while still rushed, no longer sounded quite so panicked._

_Finally, when he felt she might be ready, he touched two fingers to the underside of her chin, using the softest pressure imaginable to lift her face so that he could see her eyes. "Look at me, Kagome," he whispered, his voice gentle but suffused with authority. "If you just look at me, you will know that you are safe."_

_After several seconds of fluttering, she finally managed to open her eyes all the way and met his gaze. Sesshoumaru felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. If eyes were truly the windows to the soul, something had shattered within Minamoto Kagome that night. She looked haunted, hunted, and utterly lost and bewildered._

"_I don't remember," she whispered, her voice barely audible._

_He took her hand, which he'd never relinquished his hold on, and brought it to his lips again. He pressed a gentle, almost paternal kiss on her palm. "You don't remember what?"_

_She shook her head. "I don't know."_

"_Do you remember coming to the cave?" She nodded. "Do you remember the storm?"_

_She closed her eyes for a moment, as if the act of keeping them open had required more energy than she possessed. _"_It's still storming." _

_Sesshoumaru nodded. That was true. The rain was still beating against the cave's opening with just as much ferocity as before, but it had been several minutes since that last bout of thunder and lightning._

_She looked at him with desperate eyes. "I can't... I don't..." _

_Sesshoumaru squeezed her hand. "You don't have to say anything."_

_He felt her body shudder and relax, then heard her whisper. "Arigatou."_

"_Do you want me to talk to you?" he asked._

_She shut her eyes – not as tightly as before – and shook her head._

_He smiled, even though he knew she could not see it. But maybe she could sense it. Maybe she'd be able to hear his smile in his voice. "Then," he mused, "what can I do for you?"_

"_Just don't let go. That's all I need right now. Tomorrow...we'll talk tomorrow." She whispered._

"_Very well," he replied, feeling rather absurdly pleased that she wanted him to stay by her in such a moment. He shifted her sideways so she could rest her head on his chest. He began rocking her back and forth until she fell asleep. He sighed deeply and moved so his back was now to the wall, careful not to wake her up._

_Sensing her peaceful sleep he gazed outside and realized that there was only a slight drizzle but there was no sign of the rain stopping. He spent the entire night kissing her forehead, the top of her head and her hands. If he could stop time now, he'd do it, if just to be with her so close._

"Where am I?" I questioned myself as I looked around.

There were many trees, all covered in snow. To my right, a narrow road led to what I could make out as a bridge. The bridge was made of rope and loose boards, probably very old, narrow and long. The area was not familiar and I didn't remember ever coming through here. It must be the top of some mountain because the echo of the forest animals was deep.

"_We_ are going to your home, stupid! I can't believe you didn't think to pack more food!" He puffed and walked past me, heading towards the direction of the bridge.

My hackles rose at his answer. "Stop!" He did. But he didn't turn. He was standing still at the very edge of the cliff, arms crossed where the bridge began. His long silver hair was gently blowing with the chilly breeze as he seemed to be sniffing out something. _He looked like a dog._

Marching myself up to him, I turned him around and whirled him to the side with a punch. How dare he speak to me like that! I never allowed it irregardless of who it was. For a moment, he just stared wide-eyed at me and I just glared down at his form.

"What the hell was that for?! And where the hell did you learn how to do that?!" He stood and was practically nose to nose with me. His breath came out in small puffy clouds the made my skin shiver. His amber eyes were full of fire and awe.

"What ever gave _you _the idea that you can speak to me like that?! I am not some pathetic woman who doesn't know how to defend herself! And if you knew me like you say you do, you'd remember that I was trained, idiot!" Kami, he surely knew how to get a rise out of me, as always.

"Keh! Like you could actually do that again anyways! The only reason you were able to hit me was 'cause I wasn't paying attention!" he boasted.

Damn dog! Loosing rein on my control, I whirled at him again, only to have him catch my right hand in his left and turn me around. Using my left hand, I tried to punch back only to have it once again caught by his right hand. With my back pressed to his chest and his arms holding my hands crossed at my front, he chuckled breathlessly in my ear as I struggled.

"Stubborn, wench! I told you! You ain't doing it again!" He chuckled again. "Besides, we wouldn't have to go back to your home if SOMEONE hadn't forgotten the food." He was still breathing hard.

"What are you talking about?" I asked just as breathless as he.

He growled frustratingly. "You are so clueless, princess. Can't you ever remember anything?"

Using his distraction, I kicked my leg up and hit him on the side of the head, bring us down. Somehow, even with the loss of balance, he refused to let go and we both came crashing down with him as cushion.

There was an 'oomph' before he let go. Despite the fact that he was the one to take the hit, the air in my lungs was also taken away. We continued to roll, wrestling for control the entire time until we were both spent. I just rolled to the side.

We laid there in the ground trying to catch our breaths. The ground was cold and I turned to see him looking up, eyes wide as small clouds of air exited his partially open mouth. _Kami, he was gorgeous!_ I closed my eyes and shook the thought. One minute I want to cut off his head for calling me stupid and the next I want to...

"I'm just trying to help you remember." he said in a whisper.

Still keeping my gaze towards the sky, I thought about what he said before I replied annoyingly. "Remember what?"

"Us...you...me...these places."

"What about them?"

"What's my name?"

I turned on my side and braced myself on my elbow, looking down at him. He was still looking up into the gray winter sky. "...I...I can't remember." I answered icily, frustrated with myself.

He cupped my face and I turned into his warmth. Then slowly and tenderly he pulled me down and kissed my forehead, my eyes and finally my lips. It was a small kiss that delivered such a tremor within my soul that I had to pull back.

He stood not at all offended when I had moved back. "Look, I can't make you remember. And I'm not gonna make it easy for you and tell you. But..."

I stared suspiciously at him. "But?" I supplied when he didn't continue right away.

"I guess that you can continue calling me, Yasuhani...for now." I smiled despite myself.

"All right," I added. "Tell me about these places then, Yasuhani."

"They are ours. Yours and mine. We've made them ours. Every dream is one of them."

"How so?" I didn't see anything special in these places.

"When it was just you and me, before anyone...these were places we would spend every moment in."

"I don't remember," I answered honestly, looking ahead and hugging my knees. Then I tensed at a sound not inside this world.

I turned to him again from where I still sat on the ground. "You're waking up, princess."

Sudden panic filled me. I didn't want to leave yet. With a quick push, I stood and tried to walk towards him. But suddenly the entire scene was sucked into some form of vortex and I was left in darkness.

**END OF DREAM**

The chirping of birds were the first sounds I made out when I began to wake up. I stared at the floor. I locked the dream into the back of my mind. Gradually, images of last night flashed in my eyes. It had been long since something like this had happened and when it did, I was usually alone or with Kirara. Last night, however, I had had someone else here with me. To say that I was happy or relieved to share such intimate things with no other than a demon was not something I could say made me comfortable.

But, in all honesty, it was not that bad either. It was hard to describe how I felt about the whole situation. And, to top it off, I was still lying on his lap and his arms around my torso. Strange, but, being here, in his arms, it felt... almost... normal. _Oh, dear Kami! I think the storm did more damage than it usually did._

"You're awake," came the deep soothing voice of the inu youkai.

"Sharp as ever I see," I replied sarcastically, keeping my head down. I had always been self-conscious about my appearance and in this precise moment I was worried about my breath.

"Is that the thanks I get for staying with you all night, wench?" I raised my head and glared at him.

"No one forced you to stay."

"Perhaps, but you did ask me to. Was I to leave you in your most vulnerable time?"

I rolled my eyes and got off him. I threw his haori at him and pretended to dust off something left by his clothing. I walked off to the entrance and whistled to Kirara. My mouth was a bit dry, so now more than ever, I was thankful for echoes. After a few moments of silence, I looked back at him and found him reaching for my clothing. Mentally kicking myself for forgetting about my semi-nude form (I was at least wearing my hadajuban (under shirt) and specially-made under pants, I lifted my hands just in time to catch them before they hit my face.

In the middle of tying my chihaya, he spoke once more. "So?"

"So what?" I knew what he was trying to ask, but I thought that if I avoided the question he might actually let it go. Letting him deeper into my life was something I was hoping would not happen and against all odds, secretly wished he would stop asking.

"What happened last night?"

I finished dressing myself and ran my fingers through my hair, straightening it a bit. I considered his question for some time. Hesitating some, I answered. "It's personal." My throat began to feel very tight. "I don't often talk about it. I keep telling myself that it is because it is water under the bridge." My mother and brother had been gone for thirteen years. But the truth was that some things hurt too much.

And there were some wounds that didn't heal, not even in thirteen years.

Sitting next to him, I kept my gaze stoic and continued softly, "She – she was a great woman. A great mother...or so I've been told. I loved her very much. Kyo was my idol."

Sesshoumaru, who had been staring outside, turned to look at me, the first time he'd met my gaze since he'd lifted my chin with his fingers many hours ago. "Tell me what this had to do with what transpired last night."

"Everything...and nothing." I said softly.

"How old were you when she died?"

"I was four years old. Some guards came in to deliver the news and the Shikon," I paused. "The city was attacked the same day and Kyo was caught and beaten. Father gave the attackers some land and money to leave. Kyo was beheaded two days after." I glanced outside and then returned my gaze to him. My face remained blank. He was looking at me so tenderly. No pity. Just pure affection and understanding. Then I added, "There was a violent storm that day."

"..."

I lifted myself once more and walked outside again. He followed and stood by me waiting for my neko companion. "Do you miss family you never really knew?" His voice had held a hoarse urgency that told me there was something critical about my reply.

"Yes," I finally answered, "but not in the way you would think. You can't really miss them, because you didn't know them, but there's still a hole in your life - a big empty spot, and you know who was supposed to fit there, but you can't remember them, and you don't know what they were like, and so you don't _know_ how they would have filled that hole." My lips curved into a sad sort of smile. "Does that make any sense?"

Sesshoumaru nodded. "It makes a great deal of sense."

"I think losing a parent once you know and love them is harder," I added. "And I know, because I've lost both."

Sesshoumaru, I'm sure, was about to ask what I meant, but thankfully Kirara arrived and greeted me with a bump to my forehead. I quickly mounted her behind Eriko and we took off without one backwards glance to the inu. He was trailing in the back.

With every intention to keep straight and not stop, I whispered to Kirara to pick up her pace, but she growled at me and landed at a small clearing. Cursing under my breath, I dismounted her and went around facing her. I glared at her. I knew why she stopped. She knew me all too well and her youkai nose was exceptional. I was hoping she would not notice but it seems she was worried. Eriko simply ran into the forest and simply yelled that she was looking for some berries.

Untransforming, she glared back. Just when I was about to scold her, the inu youkai landed and stared confusingly at both of us. "What happened?"

"This is none of your damn business inu youkai. Return to your palace and leave us be," I spat out.

"I thought we had established a middle ground. But judging by your tone, I think we have retreated to addressing me coldly."

Not wanting to fight and feeling the smallest of consequences of what Kirara had sensed (and surprisingly the inu's nose had not), I rubbed my temples and replied in monotone, "Indeed."

He walked towards me and before I had a chance to react, he punched me in the gut and sent me flying across the clearing. Good thing miko came with big packages. When he was in mid air, ready to strike once more, my ki flared out and knocked him down - hard.

It must have been one hell of a spiritual punch because he stayed in the ground holding his stomach and looking up. He was coughing and trying to catch his breath. Shaking my head, I jumped up and with a speed that later surprised me, I was crouching on top of him. One hand in his throat and the other in his chest, I hissed at him, "You are walking on thin ice with me. You would be wise to leave now while you can still leave in one piece."

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. When he did not open them instantly I thought he had heeded my warning. _Wrong!_ In less than three seconds, the roles had reversed. His eyes were tinged red and he bared his fangs at me. To say that I was shocked and speechless was an understatement. However, I quickly recovered from the shock and my spiritual energy was begging to be released.

"Is this the only way I can get your attention? By fighting you? If yes, then so be it! I AM THE DOMINANT ONE, NOT YOU! I WILL BE THE ONE TO SAY WHEN I CAN LEAVE! IS THAT CLEAR TO YOU?!" His voice was icy cold. Nothing like the Sesshoumaru I had come to know.

I leaned in closer to his face and retorted, "GET. OFF. ME. NOW!"

His claws tightened on my neck. He opened his mouth to yell once more, but he stopped. He seemed to inspect me. Lowering his face to my neck, he inhaled sharply. Sesshoumaru stiffened and slowly lifted himself to look at me. Releasing my neck and jumping up to a tree, he glared down at me.

"I... need... to... leave." He encircled himself in a blue light and took off.

For several minutes I stayed on the ground, propped up in my elbows. Whatever the hell had just happened, I still didn't understand. I glanced around and noticed that Kirara was sitting under a small sakura tree completely oblivious of what had just transpired. Either that or she had decided not to interfere.

"Well, thank you for defending me," I sarcastically yelled at her. Her reply was to get up, stretch and begin walking in the direction Eriko had disappeared.

I stood and removed several leaves on my kami (hair). So, with every intention of taking all the time in the world, I walked to catch up with my two companions who were already several meters ahead. The walk would probably take a little over a day. As I continued forward, I realized the reason he perhaps had attacked me and left was that he had caught on to the beginning of my monthly cycle. It was also the reason he had tried to establish his dominance. The inu's nose was very sensible and even the slightest stench of blood was enough to put them on edge. Nevertheless, this being a different kind of 'blood', it probably had an opposite effect on him.

And with that thought, it was more than sure going to attract unwanted attention. Tanaka-sensei once told me that this kind of miko 'blood' was very alluring to youkai and it was almost equivalent to the female youkai heat. From what I gathered from the oh-so-riveting talk, the youkai heat occurred almost regularly. That would explain why most female youkai get pregnant during this phase.

Anyways, I didn't want to think on that. Right now, all I wanted to think was on some way to really rid myself of Sesshoumaru. If he stayed longer – and I was not going to lie to myself – it might become harder for me to let him go. I was still determined to stay away from him, no matter how tempting it was to engage in verbal battles with him, or how intriguing the hints about his past. He puzzled and confused me and I didn't need that.

I needed a plan.

_Sesshoumaru paced outside the Kamakura castle. He was glad he left in time before the first drop of blood, literally. Now he knew why the neko had decided to stop. Fortunately, his father also informed him that miko were an exception when it came to this certain aspect. Because of their spiritual powers, miko's blood came with the same side effects of female youkai in heat, hence making the cycle shorter and stronger. Also the smell of their blood was not putrid like all other onna, but was instead of a sweet almost honey-like smell to the nose of youkai. Most demons were unable to resist the urge of mating during this time. And both were killed by the miko spiritual power when their resistance wavered._

_Sesshoumaru was well aware that had he not left, Kagome would have killed him then and there. Of course, he also now knew that 'it' was the reason of her mood swing. His frustration would just have to be taken out on something else. Opening up his senses, he detected a pack of youkai a few miles away and quickly headed on that direction. Hopefully, those youkai would put up a good fight for him to tire himself._

* * *

Damn it! Why the hell does she have to turn everything on him?

* * *

DREAM


	33. Chapter 33

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Where there is mystery, it is generally suspected there must be evil.

- Lord Byron

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* * *

**

CHAPTER **31 **

We entered the city through the south entrance. It was still very early in the morning and only a few villagers were running around doing their daily tasks. Some of them bowed, or waved by and still others smiled as they greeted me. Two young girls came up to me to offer to sell some oranges which I paid and took the entire basket, which I gave to a woman and child looking through the trash on the streets.

The walk to the palace was about twenty five minutes from the south entrance, so I decided to first offer my thanks at the temple for a safe trip and it would also give me a chance to see Kazuo. Perhaps he could offer a solution to my "attaching" problem with the child.

Kazuo was the Buddhist monk in charge of most temples. He was only nineteen years old. Kazuo, Hiro and Kyo had been best friends growing up. (Hiro and Kazuo still talked but their respective duties had somehow drawn them apart.) Most women usually piled at the temple where he resided in order to 'chat' with him. I couldn't blame them. The man was indeed very handsome. With smoldering black eyes, flawless tanned skin, a kind heart, mesmerizing smile and the body of a warrior under his robes, he was one of the most sought out men. Unfortunately for women species, he was deeply devoted to his beliefs and led a chaste life, evident in the shaving of his head.

When I reached the temple, one of the attending monks told me Kazuo had left on an urgent calling from one of the daimyo in the neighboring city. Apparently his daughter was thought to be possessed by an evil spirit. He also informed me that the messenger had first asked for me but on my absence, sought out the monk. Heaving a sigh, I thanked him and proceeded to offer my thanks. Afterwards, I continued home.

One hour later, we were crossing the bridge to the palace entrance and the guards greeted me with a bow and notified me that the okami was waiting for me in the gardens. We quickly made my way to my heya and tossed my yumi. I told Eriko to stay with Kirara. On my way to the gardens, I stopped to greet Lana and warned her about Eriko, saying that I would explain about the child when I had finished my discussion with my father.

Once outside, I found my father already practicing his kendo and motioned for me to spar with him. During our small practice, another servant came to tell my father that more responses had returned. He ordered me to stop and asked me to take a seat.

"As you know, it has been seven years since you came back." He looked at me and I nodded. "We agreed that six years after your return, I would make a decision regarding the Shikon no Tama. I am aware that I am a year late, but with so many intrusions last year, it was impossible to get to this matter. Nevertheless, I have decided to announce it in two weeks at a small banquet I have planned. Invitations have already been sent out and most of the replies have made it back."

Something in the back of my mind was screaming that something was not right. My otou-san hated festivities and for him to suddenly want to host such an event – well, it was just too suspicious. Holding on to my qualms, I replied coolly, "Of course, my lord."

"Rippa (magnificent)! I expect you to wear one of the royal kimono that belonged to your mother as well as taking your old rooms inside the castle." As if sensing my imposition, he added, "That's final, Aijou. It is just two days. If you can fight the fiercest of demons then you can certainly handle a kimono for two nights and mingle among your fellow courtesans." He lifted me up from my sitting position on the grass and went inside.

Walking in the opposite direction, I opened the door to my 'cabin' and went directly to the cold bath awaiting me. Inside the large wooden tub, I contemplated what my father told me. I was ecstatic that I was finally ridding myself of the damn jewel and its burden. However, I had made a promise to my okaa-san and myself years ago – that when the time came for me to pass on the jewel, I would do it to someone that I knew would be able to defend it. In the wrong hands, the jewel was a weapon of mass destruction.

When I finally lifted myself from the water, I looked like a giant prune. I put on another clean set of clothing and walked into the other room. The youki from Sesshoumaru halted my steps but I did not go outside. He was closing in on the palace with rapid speed. I almost laughed at the thought of him bumping with my barrier, but I remembered the necklace I left him the day I left and shrugged.

I sat and braced myself for another fight. I waited. And waited. And waited... and waited. Tapping my fingers on the wooden floor, I began to feel my patience shorten. His mark channeled his desire to me in waves, each one stronger than the last one. He was taunting me and trying to lure me out. Apparently, he either wanted to still fight or he was trying to see how much I wanted to see him. Well, two could play at that game.

Sitting on my futon, I relaxed and pulled up one of my legs so my wrist was resting on it. Let's see how much he wanted to see _me_. I didn't have to wait much. _Well, not long enough_. He came inside and glared at me. I ignored him and continued to stare at the armoire against the wall in front of the futon. We both sat in silence, he in the steps that led down into the 'cabin' and me on the bed. Sesshoumaru was staring at a small candle in the corner, watching the wax drip down to the taper of the candle stick.

When the fourteenth drop of wax rolled down the candle, sliding along the column until it hardened in place, Sesshoumaru turned to me and said, "I'm sorry." Amazingly the words I expected never came out and instead those two simple words changed my entire mood.

"Indeed," I said, hearing surprise in my voice even though I hadn't intended it. He semi-walked over to the futon and sat facing me.

He gave my hand a squeeze. "How long have you been like this?" I lifted a brow to inquire about his strange question. It took me several moments to understand what he was asking.

"Last night? Or in my life?"

"Both."

"Last night... since the first clap of thunder. I get quite anxious when it begins to rain, but as long as there is no thunder and lightening, I'm all right. It's not the rain, actually, which upsets me, but just the thought that it might grow into something more." I swallowed, licking my dry lips before I continued. "To answer your other query, like I said before, it's simply a part of me. It's quite foolish that I can fight demons without the slightest of fears. I know - "

"It's not foolish," he interjected.

I didn't even know why I was being so open with him. Most of all, I hated that he was starting to see through me.

"You're very sweet to think so," I said with disgust, "but you're wrong. Nothing could be more foolish than to fear something so natural."

"Sometimes..." Sesshoumaru said in a halting voice, "sometimes there are reasons for our fears that we can't quite explain. Sometimes it's just something we feel in our bones, something we know to be true, but would sound foolish to anyone else."

I stared at him intently, watching his golden eyes darken and catching my breath at the flash of pain I saw in the brief second before he looked away. And I knew – with every fiber of my being – that he wasn't speaking of intangibles. He was talking about his own fears, something very specific that haunted him every day.

Something I knew I did not have the right to ask him about. I had shared with him two of three of my inner most secrets, which no single person knew. But I wished – oh, how I wished – that when he was ready to face his fears, I could be the one to help him.

_What the hell was I thinking!_

That wasn't to be. He would marry someone else, maybe even Michiru, and only his wife would have the right to talk to him about such personal matters. Risking rejection, I placed my palm on his cheek and turned his face to me. His widened eyes showed his surprise at my gesture, but he made no motion to stop me.

In an almost inaudible and most gentle whisper, I shocked us both when I asked, "What do _you _fear Sesshoumaru?"

_

* * *

_

In an almost inaudible and most gentle whisper she said, "What do you fear Sesshoumaru?"

_He shook his head. Proximity would only make it that much more difficult. "Something happened to me when my okaa-san died," he added._

"_You were very close to her, weren't you?"_

_He nodded. "Closer than I'd ever been to anyone, until I met you. Ujio and Juro are really close but I have never spoken about this to them."_

_Her eyes glistened. "What happened?"_

"_It was very unexpected," he said. His voice was flat, as if he were recounting an obscure news item and not the single most disturbing event of his life. "A very poisonous bee." She nodded._

"_Who would have thought a bee could kill a youkai?" Sesshoumaru said with a caustic laugh. _

"_It would have been funny if it weren't so tragic. I stayed with her throughout the night. She was dead, of course, but I needed a little more time. I just sat beside her and watched her face." Another short burst of angry laughter escaped his lips. "Kami I was just ten years old. I think I half expected her to open her eyes at any moment."_

"_I don't think that's foolish," Kagome said softly. "I've seen death too many times. It's hard to believe someone is gone when he looks so normal and at peace."_

"_I don't know when it happened," Sesshoumaru said, "but by morning I was sure."_

"_That she was dead?" she asked._

"_No," he said roughly, "that I would be, too."_

_He waited for her to comment, he waited for her to cry, to do anything, but she just sat there staring at him with no perceptible change of expression, until finally he had to say, "I'm not as great a demon as my mother would have wanted me to."_

"_She might choose to disagree," she added quietly._

"_Well, she's not here to do that, is she?" Sesshoumaru snapped._

_Again she said nothing. Again he felt like a heel._

_He cursed under his breath and pressed his fingers against his temples. His head was starting to throb. He was starting to feel dizzy, and he realized that he couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten. Standing rather abruptly he hit his head on the low roof, turned and tried to pace twice._

_He sagged against a wall with a long, weary exhale, and said, "Just let me tell you. Don't talk, don't interrupt, don't judge. It's hard enough to get it out as it is. Can you do that for me?"_

_She nodded._

_Sesshoumaru took a shaky breath. "My mother was the greatest demoness I've ever known. Not a day goes by when I don't realize that I'm not living up to her standards. I knew that she was everything to which I could aspire. I might not ever match my father's greatness like she wanted to, but if I could come close I'd be satisfied. That's all I ever wanted. Just to come close."_

"_If there was one thing I knew," he whispered, somehow finding the courage to keep his eyes focused on hers, "it was that I would never surpass him, or rather her. Especially in years."_

"_What are you trying to tell me?" she whispered._

_He shrugged helplessly. "I know it makes no sense. I know I can offer no rational explanation. But since that night when I sat with my mother's dead body, I knew I couldn't possibly live any longer that she had. No one in her side of the family ever has lived longer than two hundred ten"_

_He watched as she straightened her legs, crossed her arms in her chest and nibble on her lower lip. He'd seen her do that before, he realized – whenever she was disturbed or deep in thought._

"_Well you're wrong. I don't think it sounds ludicrous at all. It sounds like a perfectly normal reaction, actually, especially considering how much you adored your mother." She lifted her shoulders in a rather self-aware shrug as her head tipped to the side. "But it's still wrong."_

_Sesshoumaru didn't say anything._

"_Your mother's death was an accident," Kagome said. "An accident. A terrible, horrible twist of fate that no one could have predicted."_

_He shrugged fatalistically. "Oh for the love of - " Kagome managed to bite her tongue a split second before she blasphemed._

_Silence reined for a full minute._

_Finally, Sesshoumaru said, his voice barely above a whisper, "I don't know if I can get past this."_

"_You don't have to get past it," she whispered. She caught her lower lip, between her teeth, and then laid her hand on an empty spot on the futon. "Could you come over here so I can hold your hand?"_

_Sesshoumaru responded instantly; the warmth of her touch flooded him, seeping through his body until it caressed his very soul. And in that moment he realized that this was about more than love. This woman made him a better being. He'd been good and strong and kind before, but with her at his side, he was something more._

_And together they could do anything. It almost made him think that two hundred ten might not be an impossible dream._

"_You don't have to get past it," she said again, her words blowing softly between them. "To be honest, I don't see how you __**could**__ get completely past it until you turn two hundred nine. But what you __**can**__ do"­ - she gave his hand a squeeze, and Sesshoumaru somehow felt even stronger than he just had moments before - "is refuse to allow it to rule your life."_

_Sesshoumaru smiled. And it didn't matter if they both saw each others deepest fears, because they knew that one accepted the other no matter what. It was a sublimely freeing feeling._

* * *

We kept our eyes locked with each other for what seemed an eternity. It was so easy to loose myself in those golden pools. Luckily, something must have caught his attention because he turned his head towards the door and I used the opportunity to let go of his hand.

Weaknesses were fast becoming a nuisance.

"Your maid is coming with the child."

"Leave. There are some matters that I wish to address with her," I asked while picking up my hair in a messy bun.

He nodded his head. "I will take this time to go catch game and to check on a certain matter I was entrusted with. However, I must bid you farewell, at least for the rest of the day. I promise to return by nightfall." Stepping closer to the door he turned once more when he heard me speak.

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Funny," he added sarcastically. "It's good to see you are back to your prideful _but_ bearable self." With a light chuckle and one swift jump he was off and gone.

That caught me off guard. I didn't know how to make people laugh. I could recognize humor, most especially irony, but I wasn't the kind of woman to make jokes or nurture smiles from other people. Especially not a man.

Lana's knock was just seconds after the inu youkai left. "Kagome, are you there?"

"Hai Lana."

Eriko burst into the room before Lana walked in and was carrying a tied bundle. "Your father wanted me to give you these. He wants you," she said while opening the package, "to choose two of these kimono so you will wear them for the celebration."

I stared out the open door and wondered what exactly he was 'entrusted' to do. I closed my eyes and realized that I was doing exactly the opposite of what I should be doing. Instead of driving him away, I was luring him in. The saddest part was _that I actually wanted to and still wanted more._ A small grunt escaped my lips.

"Well," came her exasperated voice. Apparently, she had been calling me for the last several minutes.

"Well what?"

"Well? Which ones are you going to choose?"

I glanced towards my bed where she had neatly spread out each of the eight kimono she brought in. Eriko sat in front of the kimono, eyeing each one, afraid to touch. Once more inching near the futon, I knelt and inspected them one by one. They were all so beautiful and the fact that they had been worn by mother made them even more priceless.

"I can't choose. I mean, I can't even fathom wearing them. I feel like I will be dirtying them by putting them on. There too good for me."

Lana 'pft' and smacked me playfully on the back of my head. "Nonsense! You are a princess. You will look as or even more beautiful than your mother."

"Where's your okaa-san, miko-sama?" Eriko questioned.

I felt Lana's gaze on me, but I refused to look at her in fear that I might see the sadness still in there. "She's dead. And stop calling me miko-sama. You make me sound like an old woman."

"Do you miss her?" came her curious, yet innocent query.

"No," I replied in a harsher manner that I had intended. Eriko simply smiled and changed the subject, thankfully.

"What do you wish me to call you, then?"

"Kagome. Just Kagome."

"Hai." she answered in her usual bubbly self.

"Make yourself useful and choose two dresses for me. Let's see how good of a taste you have." I threw over my shoulder as I sat back on the animal skins.

Half smiling, Lana nudged her with her elbow. "Choose the one you like best."

"You should help her choose Lana. She might need some help." Lana knelt next to Eriko. "I have no idea why father wishes me to wear those things that make me feel so stuffy and are as uncomfortable as they look. If you ask me, women should only wear chihaya. I'd wear it to the celebration were it not for the fact my father would have a heart attack."

"Somehow, I believe you. _But_, I do believe you will definitely look wonderful in these two Eriko has chosen." She picked up the two and put them in a large trunk inside the bathroom. The rest of the kimono were neatly folded and tied once more in the bundle. I was still sitting on the floor, looking at nothing in particular but rather in deep thought.

"If you have nothing for me to do, then I will leave you for now. I believe your father wants me to oversee the food arrangements for the celebration." She waited for my response. It was a pregnant silence that filled the room. "Alright, I'll see you downstairs for dinner in a few hours."

The minute sounds of geta were the only alert I had of her movements. Lana stopped at the shoji and glanced back at me. Sensing her hesitation I called her back, "What is it?"

"Kagome," she said while coming closer to me, "you do know that I will _never_ pressure you into doing something you don't wish, but you _can_ tell me anything, right?"

I cocked my head to the side. Still I did not look back at her. "Hai."

"I was just making sure." Lana patted my shoulder and kissed the top of my head while also ruffling Eriko's hair on her way out.

"Lana?" She came back quickly and sat in front of me, the movement causing me almost to fall back in surprise.

"Hai?" Lana offered a smile from ear to ear.

I swallowed hard and tried to keep my gaze to hers. I opened my lips, but I quickly shut them again. "_Is it_ possible to care for something you've been taught to hate all your life?"

A frown settled on her face. She brought her finger to her lips and pondered on my question. I tried my hardest to post a question that did not give away much. After what seemed an eternity, she opened her mouth, but no words escaped. Then, as if finally putting two and two together, she whipped her head in my direction, a head that had been facing towards the ceiling.

"Minamoto Kagome... before I answer your question, please, answer mine. Be honest for my answer will depend on yours." Clearing her throat, she straightened her back. "Why are you asking me this?"

My eyes fell to my lap. For once in my life, I wanted to talk to someone. Open up and let my feelings out. Sesshoumaru had given me a small taste of trust and I now knew that I wanted to share. Perhaps it was time to trust someone.

"Lana," I braced myself for the worst, "I don't know how it happened. I don't know _why_ it even did, or when it actually did, but... I think that I might... be developing an... _interest_ in a certain someone I _really_ shouldn't." I bit my lip.

The sad look on her face only made my stomach feel like it hit the floor. I stood up and bolted out. I needed air. I walked to the river that was a few feet away from the castle. The river was a bit more high than usual, which helped when I sat at a small rock in the middle. My feet were inside the water and I felt the soft rush of the current. It was getting colder and the water was already chilly.

It was several minutes before she found me and decided to say anything. "It's the Daiyoukai's heir, isn't it?" Her small sob echoed in the silent afternoon.

I slowly turned to her. There was no real need to reply. Could the answer be any more obvious? "I... tried Lana. I swear to you on my life, that I tried." My voice faltered.

She stepped in the water and walked to me. I scooted a little to the right so she could sit with me. Eriko had followed Lana silently and probably sensing that this was no time for games, sat down quietly by the bank watching us. Lana wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder. "Oh, Kagome."

"I know. There can never be anything there. I'm not stupid enough that I don't see the truth. In fact, I've practically kicked him out every time he comes around!" Lana stiffened.

"What do you mean _every time_?" I gritted my teeth. _I have GOT to start thinking before I talk._

I told her everything. Amazingly, she never once interrupted or made any noise as to give me any reason to doubt my trust in her. After I finished, I waited. She inhaled and let the air out slowly. "You do know this will only add to your secrets?"

I just had to laugh at that. "You think one more will kill me?"

"My dear child, if youkai haven't, I seriously doubt anything ever will!" She stood and stretched her hand out to me. I took her hand and she became serious once more. "If you feel that way about him... well then... he must be someone really special."

She started pulling me towards the palace when she turned and asked, "What is it that you feel for him?"

"I don't exactly know. I can't describe it. I've never felt anything like this, so it's sort of hard."

"Well, then, tell me what you _can_ describe."

It was my turn to pull her and Eriko with me inside. We walked to the Palace and into my room. I put up a barrier, so no one could hear or come close without us knowing. I sat Eriko in the futon. She was getting tired and she instantly shut her eyes when her head hit the pillow. Before I answered, I thought on words that could convey what little I understood. And when I finally found those words, I felt Eriko scoot over to me, seeking the warmth from my body.

I asked Lana to join me on the futon. "He's my sunrise." She tilted her head and looked at me as if I'd been speaking a different language.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Sunrise was a time I never knew till I met him. Mornings weren't my style, too bright, too cheerful, just didn't match my mood. Nighttime seemed to always offer me a solace, a peace, perhaps it was only the dimming of vision or the cool of the darkness, but the less my senses had to deal with the better, the easier, till I met him..."

I lifted my gaze to see her face when I paused. She had tears in her eyes as she nodded for me to continue. It was bit uncomfortable.

Clearing my through, I continued. "Through the dark and through the steadiness, through the imagined peace, he rose like a gentle dawn, awakening my emotions, warming a coldness within my heart...

...Lana, I needed _something_ to believe in. He touched me with his eyes... and I believed. I needed _someone_ to believe in. He shared himself, his dreams... and I believed. But what I really needed was to believe in myself. He took me within myself and helped me."

She lifted herself and again hugged me. "Child... you will have to fight every moment of your life for this. I know _you_ know that. But, the real question here is, do _you_ really think he's worth it?"

"Hai." There was no doubt in my blackened heart that he was.

She sighed. "What are you going to do about it now? You know that once the jewel is placed with another miko, you will be, and forgive my words, fair game. You are after all, a princess. The kingdom and its responsibilities will fall to the okami's heir – in short, you. That means, your father will marry you off. And whether you like it or not, _he_ will be the one choosing your husband."

"You know I don't take orders. Not even from the okami. There have been times when I have had to step down, but you know that I only did it to fool him. This will be no different."

"Kagome, are you telling me that you will defy your father openly? And with a youkai at your side?"

"_I_ am only saying that _if_ I am to marry _anyone_, then it will be _my_ choice."

"Don't you think your choice is a bit... unusual?" Lana shrugged.

"I thought you were on my side," I asked her playfully.

She gave me an angry look. "Of course I am! But if you are going to go through with this, you're going to have to plan your every step. Brace yourself for the hardest battle you will ever fight."

I rolled my eyes. "Lana, it's not like - " _He was coming back. He came back earlier._

Alarmed, she widened her eyes and went behind me. It was something she had gotten used to when we were in danger. I suppose the fact that I usually pulled her behind me unceremoniously was a great stimulus. Her quivering voice whispered, "What is it?"

I waited until he was halted by my barrier. Lana grabbed my upper arms and squeezed them. "Kagome, wha -"

"Ssshh." I had pressed my hand to her mouth. Her brows were knit together and her glare was almost comical.

Feeling Sesshoumaru's uneasiness at Lana's presence, I quickly spoke. "It's alright. She knows." I opened up a small piece of the barrier and unlocked the hooked door for him to enter.

He walked inside and his gaze never left mine as I stepped back to put a bit more distance. "So, are you going to prohibit me from coming?" The inu youkai's question was directed at Lana.

"It is not my place to prohibit you anything. But if you _ever_ hurt my little girl, I will make sure _your_ father does more than prohibit you coming here." A glimmer of shock appeared in his eyes before it rapidly disappeared.

"I would rather die a thousand deaths than let harm come her way. Even if it is from me." He had a serious look to his face.

"I _am_ in the room. You both do realize that, right?" Lana laughed and came around me towards him.

"Tell me, what exactly do wish to gain from your visits to my child?" Her protectiveness astonished me.

"I only _wish_ one thing – her happiness." If I were any other normal woman, I would have probably swooned. _But then again I was anything but normal._

That must have satisfied Lana because she almost jumped at his response. A small giggle erupted from her throat as she crossed the room and she practically dragged Sesshoumaru to the futon, mindful of the sleeping child. "Well, then, I suppose you will be attending the celebration in three weeks. I'm sure that with you there, Kagome will have someone she can actually stand to look at, since I can't be there." They both looked at me.

I shook my head. "IIEE!" I side glanced to reassure myself that I had not awakened the annoying child, which had gratefully, slept until now.

"Why not?" Lana's whine was so childish.

"Yes, Kagome, why not?" Sesshoumaru teased; a smirk on his face.

"Well, let me see." I crossed my arms and pretended to be deep in thought. "Perhaps, the fact that you're a demon who will be among ningen could be a possible reason. But, I could always be wrong and you might just blend in with everyone." I replied sarcastically.

"I'm sure you can use your powers to mask his... um... well you know! His aura thing!" Sesshoumaru stifled a laugh. His gaze was still to me.

"No. And it's no longer open for discussion."

"But Kagome - "

"No buts, Lana. The inu youkai and I need to have a talk. I'll be coming inside in just a few minutes." My eyes were to him the entire time. With no room for argument, she bowed to both of us and left quietly. He watched as she left.

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HEY GUYS!! BE NICE AND REVIEW.


	34. Chapter 34

**Greetings great readers!**

As always, it's has been a pleasure to read all your encouraging reviews. I'm grateful to all of you who have been patiently waiting for this next update. Before you start reading this chapter, I wish to address certain things

_tai_: Regarding your questions about her 'monthly pains' and her 'secret companion', well I can't really tell you the exact details. Her monthly pains will be explained eventually. And her 'secret companion' will just have to remain that, but not for long. Sorry about not being more detailed. I just can't ruin the plot or else you might just stop reading.

_fred_: I'm still blushing from all that you said! Thank you so much! And you're English is perfect!

_lemuria_: I thought I lost you somewhere along the lines! I'm so glad I haven't.

_Genie666_: Thank you and hope to keep hearing from you.

_half Kat Demon Kagome_: Great you're still around!

And as always, good news always travels with bad. First of all, the drawings for my fic that we were working on were cancelled. My 'friend' and I had a little disagreement and well...let's just say I'll have to be looking for a new artist. Secondly, after the next update it will be some time until the next chapters. With the relocation to a new city, it'll be a while (probably about a month or so) until I post. So, please be patient and do continue to review!

**ALERT: I received horrible news last week! **One of my readers/reviewers alerted me that my story was being posted on by someone passing **MY story **as theirs! I have **NEVER**, and **DON'T** plan to, post my story on that site. I haven't had time to see to this. I was completely outraged but with work up to my neck, I can barely think. I'm asking all of you to check this out if you can. And if, indeed, this is true please alert me so I can see that this matter is resolved. I can't believe the nerve of some people! Can't they think on their own?!

Anyways, sorry about blabbing on like this. Enjoy the chapters!

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I have had, and may still, a thousand friends, as they are called, in life, who are like one's partners in the waltz of this world - not much remembered when the ball is over.

_**-Lord Byron**_

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CHAPTER 32

**1204 A.D. **_**mid SEPTEMBER**_

For the next few days, Sesshoumaru and Eriko came and went with me to the different towns I traveled to. He offered to take us to the villages so my arrivals and departures would be faster. Hiroyaki was busy with my father the entire time to even notice when I came or went. I had to admit that his way of travel was much faster than when I traveled on Kirara. In spite of my admittance that I had begun to harbor feelings for the inu youkai prince, I refused to ever act upon them. The fighter in me would forever retaliate against something that it could not control and against someone that could do the damage that no one had ever been able to. Not once in my short existence had I felt so lost as this man was beginning to make me feel.

_I hated it!_

Oh, why why why did he have to go and be _nice_? Why couldn't he have just stayed the suave but shallow libertine it had been so easy to believe him? Now he was something else altogether, someone I feared I might actually come to fall for - literally.

I felt myself weaken at the idea. Shutting my eyes, I tossed the stupid feelings and concentrated on the here and now. Sesshoumaru was attentively listening to Eriko tell one of her made up stories. Kirara was lounging about at the edge of the spring, watching the fish swim by. This was the scene at the moment.

We usually sat a clearing about a day and a half's walk from the palace. This clearing was perfect. It had been the place where my mother, Kyo and I would head out to in our morning rides. The small glade offered a magnificent river with a hot spring, a cave opening, and above it all it, offered the seclusion we sought.

Most of the times, we just talked. Eriko was surprisingly unafraid of the demon, who'd been very attentive and gentle with the child. The three of us would sit by the spring for hours laughing (on their behalf; the gesture seemed to still evade me), playing and simply enjoying each others company. There were times when I liked to believe that the Kami had set our paths together for a reason. Each one of us had lost someone dear to us and had in a similar fashion, found each other when we needed the other most. It was the most absurd thought. The Kami would never give me something that could bring joy to my life.

Sesshoumaru talked about his childhood. He told me about his relationship with his parents and his 'brothers'. He revealed to me that Ujio and Juro were, in fact, not his real brothers. Though Ujio and Juro were indeed brothers, they were his cousins. It so happened that a few years before Sesshoumaru was born, Ujio and Juro's father, Lord Iwao (stone man), who was Lord Keiji's half-brother, and the Inu no Taishou promised to take care of each other's pups in case something ever happened to them. And when their parents were killed by some miko (which explained Ujio's hatred), both dog demons were left in the care of the Inu no Taishou. He and Lady Aikiko had raised them as their own.

I learned so many things about him and in such a short time. He was completely open and held absolutely nothing back. He spoke about his fears and ambitions. I knew him in a way that I had never thought possible. Sesshoumaru even confessed his desire to still mate Michiru. As hard as it was to swallow, I could see the reasoning behind it.

"_She's intelligent, graceful and indoctrinated on how to be the mate of a Daiyoukai. She would be my perfect mate."_

Of course she would be. I was beginning to think so myself.

I tried to respond to his trust by talking to him about my childhood, or what little of it I had had and remembered. My dislike of contact seemed to disappear around him. I spoke of my life before my mother and Kyo died, the years at the monastery and what I had done since coming home. I shared with him my views on life, which I had not shared with anyone else in dread of not being accepted. There were things which I could still not tell him. Things which I was well aware he sensed I held back. And if he did, he never once pressured me or made me feel guilty for doing so. Every moment I wondered whether he would understand about all the things I had done. _The village._

Furthermore, we both came to appreciate each other in a way no one else could. He valued me for me and I valued his intelligence. We saw beyond what anyone had ever seen. We respected one another and at times would contribute insights to better ourselves. Other times we would help the other train. I helped him be a better hunter, to become the invisible warrior he should be and become one with his surroundings. He learned to trust in his instincts and to see with the eyes of his inner demon. Sesshoumaru taught me how to wield the sword correctly and to rely on someone.

But one thing which I was glad for getting of my chest was my awkward relationship with my father. There were times - I told him - that I felt him being extremely overprotective when it came to my safety. Other times the okami would completely ignore me for days until some urgent news of my services were needed and then he'd be pushing me out the door. And still other times, he would treat me so different. It was a tad unnerving and quite peculiar.

Perhaps I was wrong but I could almost swear he looked and treated me like... a wife.

Needless this last confession didn't sit well with the inu youkai. He never once made any comments regarding this, but he really didn't have to. His body language as well as the look in his eyes told me how much it all disturbed him.

They had even convinced me to sing to them on occasions. As it turned out, Kirara had warmed up to the inu youkai – albeit gradually. She was still a bit hesitant and defensive around him, but she no longer tried to "give him a new face" as she put it. Eriko had even managed to astonish us with a song she composed on her own.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," she ran up to him that evening. "I have composed a song. Do you wish to hear it?" she asked happily.

Sesshoumaru looked at me and then glanced down at her. "Hai. Wouldn't we, Lady Kagome?"

"I suppose," I replied uninterestedly. "What do you think Kirara?"

The neko purred and jumped in my lap. Eriko squealed joyfully and walked to the middle of the group. She stood straight, hands behind her back, and cleared her throat.

_**Nama no naka **__In the mountain__**  
Mori no naka **__In the forest__**  
Kaze no naka **__In the wind__**  
Yume no naka **__In a dream__**  
Kagome-sama doko ni iru **__Where are you, Kagome-sama?__**  
Sesshy-sama wo shita naete **__With an ally like Sesshy-sama__**  
Watashi wa hitori de machimashou **__I will wait alone until you come.__**  
Kagome-sama omodori wo **__Kagome-sama please return._

(A/N: I changed the lyrics and it's origins to fit the story, but in the future you'll know why.)

They applauded and that became a traveling song that Eriko would sing every time we would all travel together.

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_

He would look at her every once in a while, noticing her every reaction for the past few days. The way she would cock her head when she felt something coming too close for her liking or the way she would twist an invisible ring on her left hand ring finger whenever he was too near for her comfort or the way she would pretend not to listen even when he knew that she was glued to their every word. Mostly, he liked to see the way the light captured the different hues of violet that passed through her eyes. He wondered how it was that this small woman could entice him like no other ever had.

_It was that spark. That damnable spark that never seemed to dim between them. That awful prickle of awareness that burned every time she entered a scene, or took a breath, or narrowed her eyes. That sinking feeling that he could, if he let himself, love her._

_Which was the one thing he feared the most._

_Perhaps the only thing he feared at all._

_It was ironic, but death was the one thing he wasn't afraid of. Death wasn't frightening to a youkai alone. The great beyond held no terror when one had managed to avoid attachments in their life. Love was truly a spectacular, sacred thing. It was so seldom found in youkai society and so much different to the love that humans professed. Kagome would never be able to understand his reasons. Or his love._

_But love was the enemy of the dying youkai. It was the only thing that could make the rest of his years intolerable - to taste bliss and know that it would all be snatched away. Mate, procreate and die. Such was the life of a demon lord, even one whose entire maternal lineage had not dropped unexpectedly dead at the age of two hundred and ten. _

_No, he needed someone he could never feel something this deep for. He needed Michiru._

_He'd actually felt a resigned sort of satisfaction upon the utter of Michiru's name from Kagome and her understanding of his reasoning behind his desire to mate the she-wolf. He was eager to bind himself to the demoness and be done with it. He did feel a measure of uneasiness over what had happened with Kagome, but there seemed little to be done now unless he wanted to go to the trouble of finding another prospective mate._

_Which he did not. Once Sesshoumaru made a decision - in this case to finally get a mate - he saw no reason in courting delays. Procrastination was for those with a bit more time to live out their lives. Sesshoumaru might have avoided the mousetrap for nearly two decades, but now that he'd decided it was time for a mate, there seemed little sense in tarrying._

"_She's intelligent, graceful and indoctrinated to be the mate of a Daiyoukai. She would be my perfect mate. All that's left is your approval."_

_Clearly, all he could do now was keep things between Kagome and him as peaceful as possible. An apology would probably also be in order. It wouldn't be easy, since the last thing he wanted to do was humble himself to this woman, but the whispers of his conscience had risen to a dull roar, and he knew she deserved the words, 'I'm sorry'. She probably deserved more, but Sesshoumaru was unwilling to contemplate what that might be. Their kisses had been too heated and the feel of her skin was maddening enough. He definitely didn't want to wonder down that road._

"_That may very well be true."_

_Sesshoumaru quirked a brow. "I'm shocked, Lady Kagome. I had donned all my armor and was expecting you to return with 'I know quite enough.'"_

_Kagome tried not to make a face at his imitation of her voice. But her expression was wry in the extreme as she said, "I promised my father I would be on my best behavior for the next few days."_

_Sesshoumaru let out a hoot of laughter._

"_Strangely enough," Kagome muttered, "Lana had the same reaction."_

_He leaned one had against the rock wall of the mountain she was leaning, carefully avoiding the sharp edges. "I find myself insanely curious as to what constitutes good behavior."_

_There it was again - the twirl of that invisible ring - before she shrugged and took one step to the side. "I expect I shall figure that out as I go along." _

"_But you're not supposed to argue with a lord, correct?"_

_The miko shot him an arch look. "There is some debate over whether or not you qualify as a lord. After all, the modification on my behavior was only extended to my father's guests."_

"_True," he acceded, "but I am one nonetheless."_

"_Yes," she muttered, "Lana said as much."_

_He chuckled. "Oh, if you could only see your face right now. You look just like a scolded child."_

_She forced down a smile. "I _should _think less of you for such a ploy," she said._

"_But you don't?"_

_She shook her head. "But then again, it's not as if my opinion of you could sink very much lower?"_

"_Ouch." He shook a clawed-finger at her. "I thought you were supposed to be on your best behavior."_

_Kagome looked around. "It doesn't count if there is no one nearby to hear me, right?"_

"I _can hear you."_

"You _certainly don't count."_

_His head dipped a little in her direction. "I should think I_ _was the _only_ one who did."_

_The miko said nothing, not wanting even to meet his eyes. Whenever she allowed herself one glimpse into those velvety depths, her stomach started flipping anew._

"_Lady Kagome?" he murmured. She looked up. Big mistake. Her stomach flipped again. _

"_Why have you sought me out?" she asked. He was well aware that her question was in regards to his two week stay and not about this precise moment._

"_I didn't actually. I was on my way to the Southern Lands. I was just as surprised as you."_

_Something about his answer was off. If what he said was true, then why the hell had he been trailing her all this time?_

"_But now that I have found you," he said. "I did have something to say."_

"_Something you haven't already said?" she quipped. "I can't imagine."_

_He ignored her jibe. "I wanted to apologize."_

_That got her attention. Her lips parted with shock, and her eyes grew round. "I beg your pardon?" she said. The demon prince thought her voice sounded rather like a frog._

"_I owe you an apology for my behavior the other night," he said. "I did not ask before I acted."_

"_You're apologizing for the marking?" she asked, still looking rather dazed._

_The mark? He hadn't even considered apologizing for marking her. He'd never apologized for kissing her, much less for placing his claim on her. He'd actually been thinking more of the unpleasant situations he'd placed her in. "Er, yes," he lied, "the mark. And for the many problems I have caused you."_

"_I see," she murmured. "I didn't think demons apologized."_

_His hand flexed, then made a tight fist. It was damned annoying, this habit of hers always to jump to conclusions about him. "This demon does," he said in clipped tones._

_She took a deep breath, then let it out in a long, steady exhale. "I suppose I could consider it."_

_Knowing the stubborn female, he realized that that was as close to an acceptance as anything. "Excellent," he said, offering his most winning smile._

_She nodded. "But don't think this means that I will suddenly change my mind about you and Michiru."_

_Sesshoumaru crossed his arms across his chest and scowled at her. "Keh! I would never dream of considering you so easily swayed," he said, quite honestly._

_His posture threw her a bit off guard. Only in her dreams had she seen him act so careless and at ease like this. She turned her head up, her eyes startling direct, even for her. "The fact remains that you marked me," she said bluntly._

"_And you kissed me," he could not resist returning._

_Her cheeks turned a delightful shade of pink. "The fact remains," she repeated determinedly, "that it happened. And should you marry Michiru - regardless of your reputations, which I do not consider inconsequential- "_

"_No," he murmured, interrupting her with velvet soft tones, "I didn't think you would."_

_She glared at him. "Regardless of your reputation, _they _would always be between us. Once something happens, unfortunately, you can't take it away."_

_The devil in Sesshoumaru nearly compelled him to drawl the word, "They?" forcing her to repeat the words, "The kiss and your mark," but instead he took pity on her and let it go. Besides, she had a good point. The kiss and his claim would always be between them. Even now, with her cheeks pinkened by embarrassment and her lips pursed with irritation, he found himself wondering how she'd feel if he pulled her into his arms, how she'd taste if he traced the outline of her lips with his tongue._

_Would she smell like the glade? Or would that maddening scent of gardenias and lilies still cling to her skin? Would she melt into this embrace as she had before? Or would she push him away and chain him to another wall?_

_There was only one way to find out, and doing so would ruin his chances with Michiru forever._

* * *

It was strange how in a few days we had become so close. Sesshoumaru and I never brought up the subject about whatever feelings, if any, existed between each other. I suppose it was because we both knew that we were both treading dangerous grounds. As for me, I was just happy to be able to share some time with him.

Like today...

"Come on, you have to promise. And don't you dare use your nose. No demonic sensing, do you hear me?" I looked him over to see if he was really being honest.

"Well you should have masked the scent of whatever it is you don't want me to smell!" He snapped.

"Then what fun would it have been?!" I chided. "Look, just keep your eyes closed and let me guide you. It's not like I'm going to pounce on you or anything."

He stopped and lifted an eyebrow. "Now, would that be such a bad idea?" He had a grin from ear to ear.

I smacked him hard on the back of his head. "HENTAI!! Is that all you think about?"

"Stupid wench! You were the one who brought it up!" He rubbed the back of his head.

"WE'RE HERE!" I held both his hand in mine. The simple action made my heart beat faster. "Alright lift your foot a bit. There are five steps up." A small breeze blew and a gentle whisper filled the inside of the cave. "Now, walk straight. Turn left...keep walking straight...stop."

Halting on our path, I turned back to him. "Alright. You can open your eyes now."

He slowly opened his eyes and I caught my breath. The flickering of the few candles inside the cave were the only light. But that was enough light to set his eyes on fire. He looked... perfect. His pale, smooth skin glowed. His magenta stripes and the bluish-purple gengetsu (crescent moon) – the only dark marks on him – seemed to darken more in the poor light.

"Beautiful." I almost didn't catch his word, were it not for the fact that I had been looking at his lips. "What is this place?"

"Remember I told you about my morning rides with my mother?" He nodded. "Well, this is the place we would stay until sunrise. It was our own little secret haven. As you can see," I said while waving my hand around the place, "I have everything I could possible need in here. I have been adding throughout the years. When mother and I last visited together, we only had that futon and a chest with two or three kimono. The decorations on the walls were only that small parchment you see there that Kyo made of our family and a drawing of Kirara I made for her."

Sesshoumaru walked around looking at the cylinder openings I had carved for the scrolls. He surveyed the medium sized space that was my sanctuary from the world and when he looked at me, I couldn't help but hold my breath. That was when I remembered the other reason for bringing him here. I walked past him to a large boulder with twenty-five sutra and carved prayers on it.

I touched the rock and read the prayer. A blue light traveled upon each of the words in the stone and it began to move aside. When it was completely aside, a large opening could be seen and a dusty chest with more sutra on it. I walked inside and opened the chest.

"What is it?" He inquired.

"You'll see." Stepping into the light of the room, I gave him a wrapped silver bundle. He looked at me and questioning me with his gaze. "Open it. I hope you like it."

He removed the ribbon that held it. When he opened it he once again looked at me. "It was my mother's. She had it blessed at Mt. Hiei. It brought her many blessings. Before she died, she gave it to me. Now, I'm giving it to you."

"I can't possibly take this. I don't deserve it." He passed the material through his fingers.

"Of course you can. It belonged to a great person." I put my hand on his cheek and made him face me. "Now it will belong to another great person."

His abrupt embrace blew the air out of my lungs. It took a few minutes for me to recover from my air loss, but I wrapped my arms around him too. "Arigatou. I will make sure to honor you and your mother when I wear it. But what made you decide to give this to me?"

I pushed him away a little so I could see his face. "Honestly, I've been thinking about what I could give you. Today is the nineteenth day since we have begun traveling together and I wanted to get you something. Besides, you need more color on you. That plain white hitatare and grey trousers don't do much for you." _Kami only knew that that was not entirely true. For crying out loud, he looked good in anything!_

"Do you disapprove of my clothing?" I caught a hint of hurt in his tone.

"Iiee," shaking my head, "that's not it. I just think something with color will bring out your- " I stopped mid sentence.

He smirked and whispered in my ear. "My what?"

I retorted quickly. Too quickly. "Er... your hair."

Standing up, I extended the yellow sash with blue ends. "May I?"

"It would be a pleasure." He stood and lifted his arms. I grabbed the sash with my left hand and put it behind him. I stretched my right arm around his torso to grab the cloth. He looked down on me and I was caught in the abyss of his eyes with my arms around him.

We gazed into each other's eyes, afraid to make any movements. His words broke the silence. "Arigatou." I blinked several times and finished the task by making a loose knot in the front.

He brought his arms down. "So, how does it look?"

"Perfect." I went back to the wall and repeated the prayer. The large boulder moved to cover the opening once more. "I'm going to start a honoo (fire) for dinner and then afterwards we are going to have to leave. My otou-san will want to speak to me about tomorrow. Besides, I'm not sure Eriko can keep to herself that long. She might give herself away."

Dinner was quite. He didn't eat much. He only had a rather small raw fish and a rice ball that I offered. When we finished, he put out the fire and walked outside with me. At the entrance Sesshoumaru stopped and knit his eyebrows together. He glanced around inspecting everything.

His golden gaze met mine. "Thank you, Kagome. Not just for this," - pointed to the obi - "but for giving me the greatest gift you could have given me."

I frowned at his response. "What are you talking about?" _Maybe he didn't do well inside closed spaces_.

He got up and kneeled in front of me. "You've opened yourself up to me. Trusted me."

I grew silent as I realized he was right. I'd told him things I'd never told anyone else. But it was so easy to talk to him. Unlike others, he didn't seem to judge me for my past or my mistakes. He made me forget to be guarded.

"I guess you and your brothers will have a good laugh at me then when you talk later."

His expression changed instantly to one of indignation. "I would _never_ tell someone what you've told me here. Ever. What kind of person do you think I am?"

I didn't answer him. "Perhaps we should go back to insulting each other. I think that was easier."

He shook his head at me. "Not easier. Just safer."

Damn, he was intelligent. Sometimes more so than was good for my peace of mind. "I like safety."

Sesshoumaru laughed. "This from a woman who fights demons single-handedly? Are you really that afraid of me?"

"Unlike you, other demons are easy." _They didn't make me want to hold them_.

"How so?"

"They only take your life."

He arched a single brow. "And me?"

_You could easily take my heart._ The truth of that seared me right where I stood. I had never felt like that.

Ever. But Sesshoumaru…

He was honest and caring. Two things no one had ever been to me. When Sesshoumaru touched me, my body reacted viciously. A single smile from him could make my entire being burn. One touch from his hand and I was undone. It was terrifying to think of how much power this one man had over me. How one single gesture from him could affect me so profoundly.

Still, he held that playful look on his handsome face. "You didn't answer me, Kagome?"

I stepped away from him. "Answer you about what?"

"Why are you afraid of me?"

Could he be more relentless? Unwilling to confess my feeling, I gave him a flippant response. "You are the son of the most powerful Daiyoukai. Who in their right mind wouldn't be afraid of you?"

He tsked at me. "Why are you hiding?"

"Who says I'm hiding?"

"That nervous look you keep casting to the entrance like you're wanting someone to come through it and rescue you." He made _bock-bock_ animal noises at me as he bent his arms and flapped them like wings.

I was aghast at his actions. "You're not seriously calling me chicken?"

The playful look on his face was extremely attractive. "If the beak fits…"

I should be angry, but a foreign part of me was amused by his audacity. "You live to taunt me, don't you?"

"We have to live for something, and I have to say it's quite amusing to watch the confusion in those gorgeous eyes of yours. They just sparkle whenever I nettle you."

I was stunned by his unexpected compliment. "My eyes are gorgeous?"

"Yes. Very striking."

That should have had no effect on me whatsoever and yet his words set me on fire. I didn't know why the thought of him finding me attractive should even register. Hundred of men, literally, had found me attractive all around Nippon. They used to send lavish gifts by the dozen.

But his words made my heart speed up. Made my palms sweat. Made me so hot that I could barely stand being around him.

"We should leave."

Sesshoumaru only smirked and changed the subject as I grabbed my things. "Are we in the glade?"

"Hai. We are just in a different part of the glade. See ahead." I pointed to the other opening in front of us. "Can you see the water falling at its entrance?"

"Hai."

"That's the waterfall that feeds the river and the hot springs. You see, we are inside the mountain from where the water falls. Come."

* * *

We made it just in time to see the last of the villagers hurrying up to their huts. As we walked up the river that ends up surrounding the palace, I debated how to ensue the issue of tomorrow's festivities. It was imminent that he leave. The future guardian of the Shikon no Tama would have to be someone of great spiritual powers to have my otou-san picked her for its safety. And because of her great powers, she would be able to see him.

Some feet away from the palace back entrance, I motioned for Sesshoumaru to stop. He looked around sensing for any intruders. Finding none, he asked me, "Is there something on your mind?"

I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply. "You can't be here for the next week, at least."

"I'm not leaving," he stated simply.

I ran a hand through my face in exasperation. "Listen to me carefully. It's not that I don't want you here. After what we've shared these past three weeks, there is no one I want by my side more than you. But you must understand that there will be many miko here, who have great power. If they sense you... if they see you...I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will happen. They will not be able to detect my youki. I'll just mask it."

"Even if you are able to hide your demonic aura, they will be able to tell the difference. Your physical appearance is enough to raise suspicions."

"I'll find a way." His answers were cut and gruff.

"DAMMIT SESSHOUMARU! Why the hell are you doing this? What is so goddamn important that you have to be there?" I yelled at him.

In one swift move he had me backed up in a tree, each of his arms on opposite side of my head. He leaned in close as he spoke. "Once he," - and he made quite an emphasis on the word _he, - _"gives that jewel away, he will give _you_ away too. After all, aren't you going to be the next sweet little empress?! I will NOT let that happen." His last two statements were said with so much venom.

I pushed him off, effortlessly. "Whether or not I marry, it is not your decision! What I do with the time given to me is up to me and me alone!" _And here I thought we had made progress._

"YOU WILL NOT BE IN ATTENDANCE WITHOUT _ME_!" He bellowed.

"Oh, yes I will! And just maybe I'll have a damn good time while I'm at it. Maybe I'll dance the entire time. Maybe I'll meet a man and decide to take him to my bed," I said, peevishly, annoyed with his misguided chivalry, more annoyed that he might be taking advantage of the situation to subdue me like all the other women in his life.

His frown deepened. "You're beginning to annoy me, wench. I will go... _for now_. But I _will_ be in attendance tomorrow."

"I'm sorry I'm not docile and obedient! What a shame for you! Do they always say, '_Yes, Sesshoumaru, whatever you want, Sesshoumaru, how far should I spread them, Sesshoumaru?!' _"

He leaned in closer so I could see perfectly the maroon stripes adorning his cheeks. "Dance all night," he growled, his shoulder length, silver hair framing the grim features of his face. "Do whatever you damned well please, but be warned...when I arrive at the celebration, I'll find you and drag you from whatever man or,"- he wrinkled his nose - "whatever bed you're in."

"That depends, I suspect, on the man with me," I murmured, meeting his gaze with unflinching acrimony.

"You don't understand," he whispered, his fury barely restrained. "I'll take you away _guaranteed_."

"I may not be here." Cool as ice I stared down at him.

"Just make sure you stay." Abruptly straightening, he jabbed his finger at me. "That's an order."

"Go to hell."

"That's my plan. Now be a good girl," he murmured, silkily, "and behave yourself while I'm away."

An instant later he was gone and I was left trembling with rage. How dare he order me about as though I were another submissive female subject to his whims! Not likely that! Not in a million years! Not in ten million! But regardless of my mutinous, hot-blooded temper, I was already feeling a sense of loss, as though he'd become an addiction in my blood and I was suddenly deprived. His courting mark had begun to lose its power, though.

Softly swearing, I reminded myself that I was a rational woman and men like Sesshoumaru – too familiar with acquiescent women – were best forgotten. Furthermore, I had no intention of allowing myself to be added to his list of readily available, compliant females. A fierce wave of longing suddenly overwhelmed me as though in willful contradiction and I fought down the urgent desire flaring through my body.

Resentful of his virtuoso skills or perhaps resentful of the other women on whom he'd bestowed them, my expression became sullen as I entered my father's study.

_

* * *

_

It was almost morning when he arrived at the Kuroi Hoshi. Ujio was sparing with Juro near the east wall. The instant they saw him (for they had sensed him for quite some minutes ago), they stopped and approached him. Both inu youkai were displaying cuts and bruises from their last 'friendly encounter'.

_Juro was the first to open up the conversation. "How is Kagome-chan?"_

_Sesshoumaru eyed him suspiciously. He knew that he should not worry about Juro's concern for Kagome's well being, but dog demons were especially protective of their mates. Or in this case, their prospective mates. After all, Juro had been the first of the three to open up to the miko. She had felt more at ease with him and the familiarity with which she had allowed him to address her was proof enough. He cleared his throat and tossed his uncertainties aside._

"_She is fine."_

_Their brother's clipped answer sent up red flags in their heads. They were well aware of each and every single event for the past twenty days. According to Sesshoumaru, he and the miko had been on more polite terms. But that did not mean that small arguments were not often in show. These, however, had not been of serious nature, for they were able to work around them. Now, though, it seemed that both of them finally exploded._

_Hiding as much as possible his grin, Ujio asked, "What happened? And what did you do?"_

"_Nothing happened." Sesshoumaru pursed his lips and sent him an angry stare. "And why, pray tell, do you assume it was my fault?"_

"_AHA! So something did happen?" The demon prince let out a groan._

"_We just..."_

"_You didn't hurt her did you?" Juro had always been the most thoughtful, but strong and defiant when needed._

"_Of course not!" It was absurd that they would think he was capable of laying a claw on her._

_Ujio put an arm around Sesshoumaru and the other around Ujio. "Come, we'll talk inside."_

_In the privacy of Sesshoumaru's quarters, he finally told them of the recent argument with the miko. They remained quiet for some time. Each one of them was trying to find a solution that would have the inu youkai inside the ningen palace without anyone knowing who he really was. _

_Easier said than done, of course._

"_How about Lita?" Juro offered._

_Ujio tried to dismiss the idea. "What about Lita?"_

"_No, listen to him," Sesshoumaru said as he motioned for Juro to continue._

"_Well, she is a healer and from what I've heard from chichi-ue, she is also very well schooled in spells and incantations. Perhaps she could conjure a way to help you."_

_All three demons exchanged grins and raced out towards the Crescent Moon._

_

* * *

_

He was having lunch when his son's scent reached his nose. He kept his eyes focused on the door as he cut his meat and drank his sake. He even felt Sesshoumaru hesitate outside the shoji before sliding it and sitting next to him.

"_Where have you been?" The demon lord didn't need to ask. He could smell her all over him, but he wanted to give Sesshoumaru the opportunity to at least be honest._

_Sesshoumaru lifted his chin. "Chichi-ue, you know that I have been with her."_

_The Daiyoukai waited until he finished his meal and for his servant to remove the utensils, leaving them both in complete seclusion. He eyed his son with such anger, that he saw his pup shift uncomfortably in his seat._

"_I thought we had an agreement," each word coming out in a strain._

"_She and I have come to an understanding. You can even say we are good friends now. So, as you can see, there is nothing wrong with that. I would think you would be happy with that."_

"_I __**am**__ content that there is peace between you two. However, that does not mean you can be around her all the time."_

_His anger flaring, he almost yelled, "And why not?!"_

_Keeping his cool, he said, "Because she is a miko and you are youkai. Both of our species were not meant to have an existent friendship. It is unnatural."_

"_And yet you have fought by each other's side!"_

"_That is different. We fought for common goals, but we did not fight for each other!" The Inu no Taishou's voice had risen a notch, but he quickly composed himself._

"_YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU DID NOT WANT ME TO PURSUE HER AS A POTENTIAL MATE, WHICH I RELUCTANTLY AGREED TO. I HAVE KEPT MY END. ALL I HAVE DONE IS KEPT THE ALLIANCES BETWEEN US. HOW IS THAT WRONG? WHY DOES THE THOUGHT OF HER WITH ME SEEM SO WRONG WITH YOU?" He looked into his father's eyes trying to find something that would answer his many other questions._

_The demon lord was __**not**__ going to have another argument with his son about this. Instead he opted to let his son in on a few of his reasons why he wouldn't allow such union - for the time being. "She is not for you."_

_Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and was about to leave when his father's hand stopped him from standing. He stared at the clawed hand on his shoulder and then gazed at the serious and concerned look on his father's face._

"_Father," the pleading in his eyes bothered the Daiyoukai deeply, "why?"_

"_All I can tell you for now is that she was entrusted to my care. She is someone very special. Not because of what she is, but because of who she really is. And forgive me for this, but she is destined for someone else."_

"_Who told you this?" The Inu no Taishou was almost positive he heard fear in his son's voice._

"_Someone I trust completely," was his simple reply._

_The young prince stared at the table in front of him, trying to swallow the information his father just bestowed upon him. It couldn't possibly be true! If it was, then why did he feel all these things for her? And he was more than sure, even though she had not voiced it, that she felt the same way. Who could possibly love her like he did? There was no one _alive _who could feel the way he did for this wonderful female._

_Trying to exude the calmness he didn't feel, he asked, "Who is she supposed to be with, then?"_

"_I don't know."_

_This time he just couldn't stop the loud words that escaped his lips as he jumped from his sitting position. "Then how the hell do you know it's not me?!"_

"_I just do." Damn he hated the tranquility with which his father spoke!_

_He bowed to his father. "Then, do not worry yourself, chichi-ue. I still believe Lady Michiru would be the best choice for mate. What I have with the miko is completely different. There is no point in lying to you about my whereabouts, so, if you will excuse me, I will go and talk to her."_

_The Inu no Taishou didn't even try to stop him. He knew Sesshoumaru like the back of his hand. There was no way in hell or heaven that he would dissuade him. Even as a pup, Sesshoumaru had been an extremely stubborn youkai and had always acquired what he wanted at all costs. The Daiyoukai feared, however, that this might not only cost Sesshoumaru, but also Kagome. _

_Perhaps it might be time that he approached the miko. She was as stubborn as Sesshoumaru, but surely she could understand the consequences of such friendship. Yes, perhaps that would be a better idea. He would visit her after the rumored celebration in her palace was over. For now, he needed answers. And he knew exactly where to go for them._

_

* * *

_

The lord demon entered the familiar cave. He had sent the usual signal and his 'companion' would be arriving soon. He laid his head on the wall of the cave. A weary sigh escaped his perfect thin lips. He wondered how much longer he would have to carry the burden of this. If he'd known then what the miko was entrusting him with and the great responsibility it ensued, he would have turned her down immediately. But he'd never cowered from anything and this was certainly not going to be the first time.

_His mind suddenly thought of his son. Sesshoumaru. Who would have thought that the pup would end up falling in love with Kagome. The hand that had been flat against the cold wall of the 'meeting place' was now fisted. How could things have gotten to this point? But no one could have foretold this, he tried to tell himself. _

_Still, the truth of the matter was that it did. Sesshoumaru was way in over his head. He was fighting a losing battle and if he didn't do anything to stop it, he would bring the apocalypse sooner that thought. Keiji had been too engrossed in keeping guard over his ward that he'd completely ignored his sons, especially Sesshoumaru. He'd been too involved in the life of the Shikon miko that his own family fell apart and he didn't even take notice of it._

"_Kuso!" he yelled. He punched the floor and the cave shook. A few of the debris fell on his well-kept hair._

"_If you're done whimpering, I'd like to get back to my ward before she notices I'm gone," came the voice of his usual 'companion'._

_Lord Keiji didn't even bother looking up. He had learned to expect such sarcastic and spiteful remarks from the youkai in front of him. "When will this end?"_

_It made a sound close to tired sigh. All the hostility and tension left the atmosphere that had surrounded it. "In time. Not all the main characters of this story are born yet. Trials are still ahead. But you knew this when you agreed to be a part of it." It paused before adding, "And there has been an unexpected turn of events."_

"_What are you talking about?" he asked confused._

"_Someone has altered the outcome."_

"_Do you know who?"_

"_No. But this interception has changed things and now I have no idea what will happen." It growled._

_Great, he thought. "Maybe this was something I shouldn't have agreed to." he said tiredly, looking at its red eyes._

"_Maybe. But the pieces are in place and moving. We can't complain. We are just Guardians. They are the ones that have sacrificed again and again. This time around, when They meet, the ultimate battle will ensue and we can all rest in peace."_

"_It's not Sesshoumaru she's destined for, is she?" _

_His 'companion' only looked at him before answering. "You know well that even I don't have all the answers. If he is, then he will be."_

"_Then that is a 'no'."_

"_That is most definitely a 'no,'" it assured._

_The Inu no Taishou straightened himself and walked past the youkai. "I'll continue with my part. But I'm not completely in control of my son's actions. I can only do so much." And with that said, he disappeared into the night sky._

_

* * *

_

Sesshoumaru exited his father's home and walked up to his two brothers.

"_He told you the same thing, didn't he?" Ujio was as concerned as the Inu no Taishou about the relationship of his brother and the miko princess. But there were reasons that he dared not tell his brother. Reasons that he wanted to get rid of._

"_Hai, but I'll deal with that later. Did you find Lita?"_

_Juro was about to respond, when a voice from behind the demon prince was heard. "What is your business with me, my young lord?"_

_He turned and watched her separating her herbs under a tree. The three brothers approached her. "Lady Lita, I require your services for a certain... er... job."_

_She lifted her gaze to him. A smirk crossed her wrinkled face. "This is about the miko, the Cursed One's daughter, is it not?"_

_If Sesshoumaru, Ujio or Juro were surprised, they did not let her see it. "Hai," they all said in unison._

"_However, we do hope for your discretion, especially around otou-san," Ujio added._

_She threw back her head in a somewhat loud laughter that had the trio looking at her strangely. "Of course you do." She stood rather quickly for someone of her years. "Follow me. I have exactly what you're looking for."_


	35. Chapter 35

_**It suits me well to mingle now**_

_**With things that never pleased before.**_

_**-Lord Byron, "One Struggle More, and I am Free"**_

**CHAPTER 33**

**1204 A.D **_**late SEPTEMBER**_

"_You are telling me that all I have to do is drink this? No one will know who I am?" Sesshoumaru was doubtful._

"_No one will know. Not even the miko. But remember that this will only last for two days. You must take in mind that once you drink that vile, you will not only look like a ningen, but you will feel like one. All your demonic powers will be gone."_

_Ujio and Juro both shuddered. They had nothing against humans, but the thought of having to live day after day with your mind as the only strong muscle, was not something they wished to experience. Even for a few hours. Not to mention a few days._

_Sesshoumaru tucked the vile inside one of his sleeves. "Is there anything else I should know?"_

_The old healer shook her head and literally kicked them out as she prepared her ointments. All three youkai headed back to the Kuroi Hoshi to prepare Sesshoumaru for the celebration. As they helped him pick out clothing that would not have him stand out much, they thought up ideas as to his presence and other helpful information._

_­­­_"Lana for Kami's sake, do you have to pull the damn obi so tight! I can hardly breathe!"

* * *

"Don't whine so much! It's only for a few hours. Really, Kagome. Sometimes you can be such a baby. Not even Eriko complained that much. Now turn around and let me see how it looks." I turned.

The whole day had been a nerve wreck. The entire palace was now occupied with countless guests that included royal family (all from otou-san's side), high ranking daimyo and samurai (which included Hiro, for some reason), one of the mainland's prince, Pei, and five of Nippon's strongest miko. Luckily, I was able to convince my father to keep them all from this side of the palace where I agreed to stay in and to allow Eriko (whom I had passed as an orphaned daimyo's family from another village) to stay at the castle as a training miko. When he was about to protest, I immediately insisted that while I was away, a miko was needed and that Eriko would be a great replacement while I would be gone. He reluctantly agreed.

"Dear Kami, you are a vision to behold!" She clasped her hands near her chest and tears were brimming in her eyes. Eriko only smiled from the futon with Kirara purring in her lap.

I kept a blank face as I walked back to the futon. "Arigatou. Could you do something about my hair? I don't want to wear it down. It's at times like these that I am grateful that Tanaka-sensei got me used to keeping it in one length. I absolutely hate it when my hair is in my face!"

Lana settled behind me and began pulling back my hair. It had been a simple bun, but she adorned it with one of my okaa-san's emerald chain. The chain itself was meant to be worn around the neck but it was long and went around the loose bun Lana had tied with my hair.

The emeralds on it matched the olive-colored irotome (short-sleeved kimono) that was adorned with a white sasarindo (gentian perennial), the Minamoto family crest, at its hem. The obi was also white with sasarindo and the thin obi on it were the same olive as the irotome.

"There." She stood and picked up the thin comb. I grabbed the expensive geta father had ordered be made to match the irotome and the tabi to go with them. "I have to go and see that everything is ready. The okami requested that you wait for Hiro to come and get you and Eriko."

"Hiroyaki?"

"Hai." I frowned at that request. Such an unusual command for my father.

"Very well. Do you know how long that will be? You know how I hate waiting." She seemed to go inside her head for a while and then she smiled.

"If everything is going as schedule, it should be no more than fifteen or twenty minutes. I will look for Hiro personally and tell him he can come for you now. Good luck." She shut the door quietly as she left.

Eriko was also well dressed. As a miko-in-training and a personal assistant to the princess, she was lavished with the most expensive linens and addressed with the utmost respect. She didn't like it and at times made faces behind their backs. Tonight, though she had promised to be at her best. She was wearing a pale yellow kimono with embroidered white cranes and an amber obi adorning a white sasarindo. The young 'miko' didn't seem troubled by what would await her down there.

Contrary to what had happened last evening, I really hoped that Sesshoumaru would be here. But after what I told him, I didn't think he'd be back. There had been no sign of the inu youkai since the argument and I was extremely worried that he might never come back. Still, it was safer that he was not around. If bad come to worst, I would not hesitate to take his side.

Footsteps – men's footsteps – interrupted my thoughts. The sounding steps stopped at my shoji and I immediately knew it was Hiro. "Kagome-chan, are you ready?"

I opened the door and stepped out in the hall. He smiled at me as he took hold of my hand, lifting it to place a feather-like kiss on it. "You look... beautiful."

I smiled back awkwardly. "Arigatou, Hiroyaki. You look very handsome too." He blushed. And indeed, he did look quite handsome with his midnight blue hitatare and black trousers. His hair had been neatly combed back at the nape. It was a bit odd to see him without his usual red and black armor and mage (samurai hairstyle).

He glanced down at Eriko and offered her a smile. "You look lovely, Lady Eriko."

She twirled around once and bowed. "Arigatou, Hiro-nii-chan."

We walked to the top of the stairs with Eriko trailing behind as he stopped me before I began descending. "What is it?"

"Emperor Seiwa asked that we wait until we are announced. Don't worry, they are about to begin. See," he pointed at a servant that went to the bottom of the stairs, "he is coming to announce your father first."

"I would hope so," came the voice of my father.

After bowing respectfully to him, he greeted Hiro, who kneeled and turned back to me again. "Aijou, you look just like Midoriko. She would be proud if she saw you in that kimono."

It had been the only compliment my father had ever given me. Those words gave me enough courage to withstand those boorish people in attendance. "Arigatou gozaimasu, otou-san. I only hope that I have honored you too." Much to my surprise, he nodded and smiled sweetly at me. He eyed Eriko over my shoulder and nodded in approval at her appearance.

"The announcements will be done until tomorrow during dinner so our guests can enjoy their time here. Oh, and before I forget. I received a small scroll at midday requesting permission from another mainland prince to join our celebration. It seems he has heard of you and the jewel and wishes to meet you. I hope that is not an inconvenience. It would do good to form alliances further inside the mainland, don't you think?"

Puzzled by his request, I just nodded once. I was about to ask the name of our visitor, when the servant announced him. He winked at me before going down. We were announced just a minute after. Several relatives, whom I honestly wished I had never known, rambled on about the wonderful life of royalty. Father was on my left and Hiro on my right, so I was boxed in and couldn't escape from the 'exciting' conversations. I was grateful that Eriko was saved from all this. After about three hours of chasing around with the children in the gardens, she was taken up to her room by a servant. She had, apparently, fallen asleep on a bench outside.

An eternity seemed to pass by. That was, until a servant approached my father and whispered something to him. He excused himself and headed towards the front entrance. I wanted to know what had happened but Hiro would not release my hand. It was a rather odd scene. Especially in view of the fact that he had avoided me since our return from the wedding ceremony in Edo. The few times I had come across him, he simply asked how I was. He even stopped following me everywhere I went.

From the corner of my eye, I saw my father enter the hall once more and head towards the center. He motioned for the music to stop and raised his voice. "Honored guests, it is with great privilege that I present to you Han, prince of Seoul."

Everyone turned to the entrance to see the prince. A soft murmur followed the man as he made his way up to my father. There was something about him that looked very familiar. When the prince was in front, numerous individuals loomed over him and began bombarding him with questions. My father gave a sign to the musicians to begin playing. All I could see from my position in the back was his dark brown hair swaying when he would nod or shake his head.

I ignored the so-called prince. I had no intention of going up to him and getting to know him. Apparently that was not the case with more than three quarters of the single and not-so-single females. He attracted them like moths to light.

Hiro must have caught me staring because I felt him stiffen a bit. "Do you wish for me to take you up there with the okami?"

"Iiee. He appears to be engaged otherwise. Let him entertain his guests. But I do wish to drink something."

"I will go bring you a cup of water." He had already left when I yelled at him not to. I let out a deep sigh.

Excusing myself, I moved to a more open area near the bottom of the stairs. I really didn't want to be here. Unfortunately, I had no choice in the matter. Trying to see the good in all this, I straightened myself to go back.

"There you are Aijou. I have been looking for you." The okami's voice held a joy I did not know he possessed. Turning slowly and putting on a really fake smile, I braced myself for another long and tedious conversation.

"Sumimasen, my lord. I just needed so- " My voice was caught in my throat. Surely what I was seeing was a figment of my imagination!

"Aijou, this is Prince Han. He is a great admirer of yours." I stared. I'm more than sure that all color had been drained from my face.

The prince bowed and gave me a smile than looked more like a smirk. "It is a pleasure to finally meet the famous miko princess, Kagome." I couldn't help keep staring. "Is there something wrong with my person?"

I blinked several times and blushed a bit. "Gomen." The word was mechanically whispered.

"I am sorry, but I must attend to my other guests. Aijou, would you be so kind as to entertain the prince?"

"H-hai, my lord."

"I leave you in great hands, prince."

"Indeed." The _prince_ had not even looked at my father when he replied. The okami looked at both of us strangely, but thinking nothing of it, he nodded and left.

We stood motionless, until I felt that my father was a safe distance away. I surveyed the room for the miko. All five were occupied in conversation among several of the lesser daimyo. The emperor was also busy greeting and talking to all the guests. Assuring myself and calming my raging temper, I took the _prince's_ arm and led him outside.

In the dimly lit garden, I escorted him to the side and to a more darken area. We sat in a small bench. I looked around and found no one who would bother us.

I roughly asked. "Why are you here?"

"My lady, I have traveled here to meet the protector of the Shikon no Tama."

"Don't you have other things to do? Women to seduce, youkai socials to get drunk at?"

He smiled again, less amused and warmer at the same time. "What do you think I'm doing right now?" he murmured, lifting his hands.

I stared furiously, my lips thinning. "Sesshoumaru, if you don't tell me wha - " His hand covered my mouth and instantly. I saw fear in his eyes.

"How'd you know it was me?"

I bit down on his hand, not hard of course. "I didn't exactly." Seeing his confusion, I moved to clear my answer. "It's your scent."

"Scent? What do you mean?"

I bit down on my lip. "Remember what I told you about some 'peculiar' powers? Well, this is one of them. " He was still looking at me like I was crazy. "Crisp mountain air after the rain," was my softly spoken response.

"Crisp mountain air after the rain?" He leaned in closer, a smile starting to form on his lips.

"Your scent – that is how I know it is you." I glanced away. I was playing with my thumbs.

He put both his hands over mine. I looked at my lap where both pairs of hands were clasped together. "I don't understand. How?"

I gazed into his eyes. "I guess its part of my powers. Ever since I was a little girl at the monastery, I was able to _smell_ everything around me."

"Hmmm. You're not a youkai."

"You think?!"

He laughed softly. "Alright." His hands went up in defense.

My eyes darted around. Many of the guests had wondered out to the gardens and although none were close, I felt all eyes on us. I fixed my gaze on a tightly furled bud of a nearby rose, remembering the thoughts that had swirled around in my head since I had last seen him.

**FLASHBACK**

Last night, I had been unable to sleep, attempting to sort out through my muddle thoughts about the inu youkai. But there really wasn't much to sort out. Because everything I had learned in the past few days pointed my conscience in one, singular direction. And I knew that I could no longer oppose the demon's courtship of Michiru. In the past few days he'd proven himself sensitive, caring, and principled. Even, I thought with a glimmer of a smile as I recalled the light in Eriko's eyes when he'd given her his complete attention as she narrated her stories, heroic.

He was devoted to family.

He'd helped me through one of my phobic attacks with a grace and sensitivity that, now that I could view it with a clear head, stunned me. And the only objection I had to his marrying Michiru was...

I swallowed painfully. There was a lump the size of a cannonball in my throat. Because deep in my heart, I wanted him for myself.

But that was selfish, and I had spent my life trying to be unselfish, and I knew I could never ask Michiru not to marry Sesshoumaru for such a reason. It wasn't as if he were going to ask _me _instead, so what would I have to gain by preventing a match between him and Michiru?

Nothing except the agony of having to see him married to her. And that would fade in time, wouldn't it? It had to. Especially now that I had come to my senses and, despite what I had confessed to Lana days ago, Sesshoumaru would never be mine. Could never be. The Kami would make sure of it.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"Oi, wench! What's wrong?"

He waved a very human hand in front of me. I blinked twice before looking into his eyes. His face looked so much like in my dreams, irritated and impatient.

Regaining my courage, I glared back at his comment. Through clenched jaw and a forced smile, I said, "Do refrain from referring me with that term you seem so fond of, my lord."

He grinned. "This is killing you, isn't it?"

"Being nice to you?"

He nodded.

"It's not the easiest thing I've ever done."

His expression changed slightly, as if he might be done teasing me. As if he might have something entirely different on his mind. "But it's not the hardest thing, either, now, is it?" he murmured.

"I don't like you...my lord," I blurted out. A small group of young women passed by and giggled when he bowed his head in acknowledgement.

"No," he said with an amused smile. "I didn't think you did."

I started to feel very strange, much like I had in the dojo, right before he'd kissed me. My throat suddenly felt a bit tight, and my palms grew very warm. And my insides - well, there was really nothing to describe the tense, prickly feeling that tightened through my abdomen. Instinctively, and perhaps out of self-preservation, I stood up.

He looked amused, as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. Another group of women passed by and stopped a few steps from us. I narrowed my eyes at them and they scurried like rats. Probably sensing that I had something serious to say, he wrapped his hand around my wrist, effectively cutting off my escape. Without asking, he maneuvered us to the side of the palace where my 'cabin' was situated but stopping a few yards from its entrance.

Immediately his attitude changed mode. "So, you haven't said anything about this new... er... look."

I shifted where I stood in the center of the garden to glance at him more slowly. His hair had changed from the beautiful silver to a shade of brown darker than mine. His eyes were just a bit darker than their usual gold, but they still stood out handsomely. His magenta stripes and gengetsu were gone and yet his face was just as beautiful. All in all, he was drop dead gorgeous. Oh, and the white hitatare with green diamonds at its edges...I could go all night admiring him!

"You look good." _Okay, so it was an understatement!_

"Just good? " He teased.

I should have been angry, but I just couldn't. Not after this. _He changed for me. He changed to be __**with me**__._ "You know you're very handsome."

"Just one 'very'? I think the ladies out here would beg to differ." He shrugged.

I put a hand to my heart dramatically. "Ah, me! In sooth he was a shameless wight, sore given to revel and ungodly glee; few earthly things found favor in his sight save concubines and carnal company."

(A/N: This is an excerpt from Lord Byron's _Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto I_)

"You give me too much credit. However, given those fitting words to my person, and the way you said them, I would dare say you are jealous."

"Now you're just pushing it." I put my hands on my hips. "But if you want to ask them, go right ahead. In fact, I shall personally take it upon me to introduce you to _every available_ woman. I certainly don't want to be the cause of any affairs." My appearance was of complete tranquility, but inside I was ready to chain him to me and kill any woman who dared look at him.

"There is only one _available woman _I'm interested in."

* * *

"_There is only one available woman I'm interested in." Sesshoumaru wondered what her reaction would be if he pinned her to the plain white wall behind them and kissed her. Nor would he stop there. When he saw her inside as he first came in, he had to force himself to keep his gaze in front of him and not stop. Once he got his hands on her and untied that prim obi and slid off the outer layer of her irotome, he would continue his explorations of her slender naked body until he'd figured out why she aroused him. "And she's standing in front of me."_

_Heat rose in Kagome's face, but she refused to look away. For a moment all she could do was look at him. She'd been proposed to and propositioned, but never by someone like... him. "You are hardly my type and my standards are extremely high for someone like you."_

_His smile quickened for a heartbeat, then faded again. "Well, then, by all means, enlighten me on this 'type and standards' of yours."_

* * *

"And she's standing in front of me."

I kept forgetting to breathe in his presence, probably because my heart began pounding in my throat the moment I considered approaching him anytime. "You are hardly my type and my standards are extremely high for someone like you."

He didn't laugh in my face, but the cynical humor in his eyes deepened. I kept my own expression stern and serious. "Well, then, by all means, enlighten me on this 'type and standards' of yours."

I lifted a brow. I smirked at the request. "First, never interrupt a woman when she's speaking to you, as if what you have to say is more important. Second, if you ask for an opinion, expect to receive one, and don't make fun of it. Third, gentlemanly behavior isn't just opening doors; to make an impression, you have to be concerned over a woman's needs at least as much as your own. And fourth, don't assume, when a woman wants to take up a task or a cause, that it's just a 'hobby'." _As for my type, well that's easy – it's you._

But I would **not** admit this... **ever**.

He gazed at me for another moment, his wicked, sensual mouth turning upward in the faintest of smiles. "I shall try not to disappoint you."

For a moment there, it was as if he were really trying. And as I felt myself growing more at ease next to him, almost as if I could sink into his side and bury myself against the warmth of his body, I knew that I could put off my task no longer. I had to tell him that I'd withdrawn my opposition to his intent on mating with Michiru. It wasn't fair to anyone to keep it to myself, just because I wanted to believe that I could ever have _him_, if only for a few perfect moments right here.

I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, and turned to him. He looked at me expectantly. It was obvious, after all, that I had something to say.

My lips parted. But nothing came out.

"Yes?" he asked, looking rather amused.

"Lord Sesshoumaru," I blurted out.

"Sesshoumaru," he corrected gently.

"Sesshoumaru," I repeated, wondering why the use of his given name made this all the more difficult. "I did need to speak to you about something."

He smiled. "I'd gathered."

My eyes became inexplicably fastened on my right foot, which had left invisible half-moons on the packed dirt on the path. "It's...um...it's about Michiru."

Sesshoumaru's brows rose and he followed my gaze to my foot, which had been drawing half-moons and was now tracing squiggly lines. "Is something wrong with Michiru?" he inquired gently.

I shook my head, looking back up. "Not at all. I believe she might be in her home, writing another letter. She has been writing to me since the day we left your home. I never write back. Ladies like to do that, you know."

He blinked. "Do what?"

"Write letters. I'm not a very good correspondent myself," I said, my words coming forth in an oddly rushed fashion, "as I never have the patience to sit still at a desk long enough to write anything. Not to mention that my penmanship is abysmal. But most ladies spend a goodly portion of every day drafting letters."

He tried not to smile. I jumped from one thing to another - a habit I had since I was child. "You wanted to warn me that Michiru likes to write letters?"

"No, of course not," I mumbled. "It's just that you asked if she was all right, and I said of course, and I told you where she was, and then we were entirely off the topic and- "

He grabbed my hand. "What is it you needed to tell me, Kagome?"

_

* * *

_

He laid his hand over hers, successfully silencing her. "What is it you needed to tell me, Kagome?"

_He watched with interest as she steeled her shoulders and clenched her jaw. She looked as if she were preparing for a hideous task. Then, in one big rush of a sentence, she said, "I just wanted you to know that I have withdrawn my objections to your suit of Michiru."_

_His chest suddenly felt a bit hollow. "I...see," he said, not because he did see, just because he had to say something._

"_I admit to a strong prejudice against you," she continued quickly, "but I have some to know you since my monthly pilgrimage, and in all conscience, I could not allow you to go on thinking that I would stand in your way. It would - it would not be right of me."_

_Sesshoumaru just stared at her, completely at a loss. There was, he realized dimly, something a bit deflating about her willingness to see him mated to the ookami demoness, since he'd spent the better part of the last two weeks fighting the urge to kiss her rather senseless._

_On the other hand, wasn't this what he wanted? Michiru would make the perfect mate. Kagome would not. Michiru fit all the criteria he'd laid out when he'd finally decided it was time to mate. Kagome did not._

_And he certainly couldn't make Kagome his mistress as he'd once planned after he mated the she-wolf. After spending time with the miko and getting to know her like this...she just deserved better._

_She was giving him what he wanted - _exactly_, he reminded himself, what he wanted; with the miko's blessing, Michiru would mate with him next week if he so desired._

_Then why the devil did he want to grab her by the shoulders and shake and shake and shake until she took back every bloody little annoying word?_

'_Because you're worst fears are beginning to come true!' cried his inner demon._

_And that was why when Sesshoumaru finally reacted to her words, he didn't yank her to him and kiss her until she was gasping, and he didn't press his lips to her ear and burn his breath against her skin, making sure she understood that he was on fire for her, and not the demoness._

_Never the demoness._

_Then again..._

* * *

In under a minute, Sesshoumaru and I had moved further from the palace gardens. He turned to face me; I'd stiffen and taken a few steps back. "I think," he murmured, slipping his arms through mine, "that we ought to consider moving out of sight of the guests."

His steps were long and purposeful, and I stumbled to keep up with him until I found my stride. "Sesshoumaru," I asked, hurrying along. "I don't think that is wise."

"You sound just like Ujio," he pointed out, not breaking his pace, even for a second.

"Kami forbid," I murmured, "but the truth is that."

"I do think it's very wise," he replied, pulling me into my 'cabin' and closing the door. There were no windows and only a small candle was lighted, giving us privacy.

"But- "

He smiled. Slowly. "Did you know you argue too much?"

"You brought me here to tell me _that?_"

"No," he drawled, "I brought you here to do this."

And then, before I had a chance to utter a word, before I even had a chance to draw a breath, his mouth swooped down and captured mine in a hungry, searing kiss. His lips were voracious, taking everything I had to give and then demanding even more. The fire that glowed within me burned and crackled even hotter than what he'd stoked that night on the cave, hotter by tenfold.

I was melting. Dear Kami, I was melting, and I wanted so much more.

"You shouldn't do this to me," he whispered against my mouth. "You shouldn't. Everything about you is absolutely wrong. And yet..."

I gasped as his hands stole around to my backside and pressed me harshly against his arousal.

"Do you see?" he said raggedly, his lips moving along my cheek. "Do you feel?" He chuckled hoarsely, an odd mocking sound. "Do you even understand?" He squeezed mercilessly, then nibbled the tender skin of my ear. "Of course you don't"

I wanted him. Oh, how I wanted him. I shouldn't want him, shouldn't desire this man who was kissing me for all the wrong reasons. And yet I wanted him with a desperation that left me breathless. It was wrong, so very wrong. I had grave doubts about his presence in my life, and I knew I ought to maintain a clear head. I kept trying to remind myself of that, but it didn't stop my lips form parting to allow his entry, not my own tongue from shyly flicking out to taste the corner of his mouth.

"I shouldn't be doing this," I whispered, more for my own ears than this. "This is wrong. _I _am wrong for you."

But he heard me and his voice was hot and moist on the skin of my cheek. "_No."_

He moved to my ear and made me listen more closely. "_No._"

He traveled to my lips and forced me to swallow the word. "_No._"

I felt my head fall back. His voice was low and seductive, and it almost made me feel like I'd been born for this moment. "You're perfect," he whispered, his large hands moving urgently over my body, one settling on my waist and the other moving up toward the gentle swell of my breast. "Right here, right now, in this moment, in this garden, you're perfect."

I found something unsettling about his words. It was enough to break the spell. With great reluctance, I tore myself away from him, letting my hands drop to the side. We stood there that way for a full minute, both catching our breaths, until Sesshoumaru finally let his arms drop, and we each took a step back.

"We shouldn't have done that," I said. He nodded absentmindedly.

I clasped my hands behind my back. "We should go inside. People will begin to talk."

"Since when do you worry about what people say?"

"Kesshite (never). But then, I'm never in public with my father."

Then without another word he turned on his heel and strolled out and toward the palace. I let out a breath I'd been holding. Before going in he waited for me to join his side and then wrapped my arm in his. When we walked in, several people glanced at us and began murmuring, but none made any gesture to question our whereabouts for the last half hour.

"Wait here," I said to him.

He held my arm tight. "I will not let you leave my side tonight or tomorrow. Have you _noticed_ how these _males_ look at you? You will be escorted for the entire duration of my visit by me." He was sizing up every man in the room.

I took in a deep breath. "Look _Han_, I am capable of defending myself."

He blinked. "I agree."

"And..." he continued, that slight sensuous smile touching his lips again, "you will dance with me."

"A... a dance?" I squeaked.

"A dance."

If I could put him off until after he agreed to leave as soon as possible, perhaps I could avoid it entirely. "I'm spoken for this evening, of course, but I'm sure I could save a dance for you this season."

He shook his head, a dark strand of hair falling across one eye. "Tonight. Now."

"But I told you, I'm spoken f―"

"The next dance is mine, or you and your pretty bottom will have to put up with me for more than two nights. I might decide tell your father that I could stay for another month. I'm sure he would love to form an alliance with a prince of the mainland."

So the inu youkai was making declarations again, hoping I would run like a scared rabbit. Well this wasn't about him; it was about me and about how I would keep those females with hungry eyes looking at him like a piece of meat.

"Very well, I said, squaring my shoulders. "I will inform Hiroyaki that I will be with you all night."

Something unreadable touched his gaze for a fleeting moment. "No, you will not." As if waiting for his cue, the music began out on the large hall. He gestured towards the main room.

"Now or never, Lady Kagome."

"Now."

The prince led the way to the crowded dance floor, declining to take my hand and no doubt hoping I would take the opportunity of his turned back to flee. I was tempted. At the edge of the floor he faced me, and with the last strangled breath I joined him there. His hand slid slowly about my waist, drawing me still closer while I waited for lightning to strike me dead.

Hiroyaki appeared, but whatever protest he'd been about to utter vanished in a convulsive swallow as my father whispered something in his ear. Sesshoumaru merely looked at the samurai and abruptly Hiro walked away, scurrying off as though he'd remembered the immediate need to relieve himself

"Changed your mind?" he asked, taking my fingers in his other hand.

This close his scent was even stronger. My eyes were at level with his crisp white neckline, and I didn't want to look up at him. This close, he... overwhelmed me, every scandalous tale I'd overheard about him swirling about in my mind. _What was I doing, standing in the embrace of the inu youkai Prince of the Western Lands?_

With a shift of his hand, he guided us into the dance. I'd danced with him before so I wasn't surprised that he moved with elegance and grace. And light as his grip was, I felt the steel beneath. I had no doubt that I wouldn't be able to escape unless he let me.

"Look at me," he murmured, his soft breath in my hair reminding me of our intimate moments following the encounter with the snake youkai and at the cave.

Swallowing, I lifted my chin. "You're evil, you know."

"I only asked for a dance. I might have asked for something much more intimate, you know."

I decided I might as well blush. He probably thought beet-red was my natural coloring, anyway. "You have and I refused you."

The western prince chuckled, the sound unexpected and warm. Even his eyes lit just a little and I wondered for a fleeting moment why he seemed so determined to be jaded and cynical more often than not.

"Sharing my futon was a suggestion, not a request. A very good suggestion, by the way."

"No it wasn't. I don't even like you. Why would I want to... become intimate with you?"

For a moment he looked genuinely surprised. "What does liking someone have to do with anything? It's the act that's pleasurable."

_Oh, Kami, now I was going to faint._ Discussing sexual intercourse in the middle of a ballroom with the inu prince was akin to a demand to be ruined. He'd kept his voice low, though, and I hoped no one had overheard our discussion. As for what else anyone might think I could possibly be chatting about with him, I would worry about that later. "I admit to ignorance about the details you discuss," I returned, "but I would think any interaction between two people would be... nicer if genuine affection were involved."

"Your innocence is truly remarkable," he said, then lowered his head to whisper, "and I would be happy to relieve your ignorance."

His lips brushed my ear, feather-light, and I shivered. _He's just playing with me_, I told myself desperately. _He's bored, and he's trying to keep himself entertained._ "Stop that," I commanded, annoyed that my voice shook. "Weren't we just talking earlier about you mating Michiru?"

His eyes hardened. The music stopped and he released me before I could pull away. "Come. Let us join your father before that idiot wanna-be-samurai _tries_ something."

"Hiroyaki could never hurt you, even in your present physical state."

He grinned mockingly. "I said he'd _try_." I hid a smile, knowing well he was right.

My father smiled politely at him. "Prince Han, I see that my daughter has kept you entertained. I hope that our traditions and form of celebration are of your liking." The emperor was really forcing himself to speak. His appearance was normal to the naked eye, but I knew that something had bothered him about Sesshoumaru.

Either Sesshoumaru didn't care or didn't notice, but he nodded his head. "Lady Kagome is a wonderful young woman. She talks greatly about you, my lord."

I stared at my father and waited for his response. "Arigatou for your great words. If you don't mind, however, I would like to talk to you in private."

"Of course." Even though my arm was the only part of my body in contact with him, I could almost feel all his muscles tense.

"Follow me then." He turned and bowed to me. His mouth moved soundlessly forming an apology. I bowed to both of them and watched them move in the direction of my father's study.

"I don't like him. His sudden appearance and interest in the jewel is too suspicious." Hiro stood next to me. His every facial muscle hardening as he spoke of the _prince_.

"You don't like him because _I_ was dancing with him and not with you. You know nothing about him. For all you know, his interest in the jewel could be passive and innocent. If the jewel falls in the hands of evil, not only Nihon will be in danger, but the entire known civilizations." I tried to sound as objective as possible. But I was angry that he was ready to judge Sesshoumaru without giving him the benefit of the doubt.

He was gazing down at me. The genuine shock in his face at my defense of the inu youkai brought me back to reality. If I didn't at least try to explain why I defended _Han_, then he might begin suspecting. He replied. "I will admit that I did not like him dancing with you. But it was only because we know nothing about him. Believe me. Not even Prince Pei has heard of him."

I rolled my eyes. "And you trust Prince Pei because he _knows_ **everyone **in the mainland, right?"

He was at a loss for words. "Well... no... but―"

"But nothing Hiro! All your assumptions and accusations are being fed by your jealous insecurities! And as far as not knowing him? Well, let me tell you this before you accuse him in front of everyone here and make a fool of yourself!" I spat through clenched teeth. Calming myself enough so I could push him to the empty hall outside the crowded room, I continued, "I **do** know him! And I **know** for a fact, that he has no interest in the jewel. Oh, and just so **you** know? **I** invited him because **he** is **an intimate** **friend**."

I left him dumbfounded and wide-eyed. I hadn't meant to say that last part and I was now regretting it. He was sure to tell everything to my father and that was the last thing I needed right now.

* * *

"_Please, take a seat." The okami served two cups of tea and gave one to the prince. They both took a small sip and set their cups down. Emperor Seiwa didn't fail to notice the gracefulness the young prince possessed. Just like he did not fail to notice the way he looked at the hime._

_Han looked at his host. "Hai."_

_The emperor lifted an eyebrow and smiled amusedly. "I beg your pardon?"_

_Han straightened more and took another delicate sip of his tea, which surprisingly was very good. "You brought me here to discuss your daughter, or rather my interest in her. And before you object, I wish to make it clear that I will respect what you decide AFTER you give me the opportunity to court her."_

"_I will not object. You are free to court her. I have given every one of the men who have wanted to court her, the same opportunity. However, I must warn you that my daughter has already chosen her intended."_

"_Hm." The prince took another sip. His appearance remained calm. "I suppose we are all allowed a change of mind."_

_Emperor Seiwa laughed. "I like the way you think. Perhaps it would not be bad if my daughter changed her mind. But that is all up to her."_

"_Arigatou."_

"_However, this isn't the only reason I asked you to talk in private. I was hoping we could form more about plausible political alliances."_

_If it was possible, Han would have rolled his eyes. He instead nodded and let the okami talk... and talk... and talk..._

**

* * *

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Well guys, that's it for now. Make sure you review! I need them at the moment. Have a nice week!


	36. Chapter 36

Sesshoumaru looked like he'd been through hell and back

Hi guys! Thank for the reviews.

_**For he through Sin's long labyrinth had run, **_

_**nor made atonement when he did amiss, **_

_**had sigh'd to many though he lov'd but one,**_

_**And that lov'd one, alas! could ne'er be his.**_

_**-Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, Canto I**_

**CHAPTER 34**

During my talk with four of the five visiting miko, I kept stealing glances in the direction of the shoji that led to my father's study. It was getting late and dinner had been served without both royal men. I had been left with the task to see to the comfort of each guest. My face was hurting from the forced semi-smile I managed from Kami knows where.

I was feeling antsy the entire evening. The thought of Sesshoumaru alone with my father was enough to relocate my entire organs. During the middle of dinner, everyone turned to look at me like I'd finally shredded my last - if any - piece of sanity when a small half groan half laugh escaped my lips. But I really couldn't help it. The portrait my father and the inu youkai would be making was just too comical.

Even more, I just couldn't stop my mind from conjuring the very scene that could erupt if my father found out the truth and yell for me to explain.

"_Hello, Father, I met this man who is really an inu youkai in disguise at a ball I attended in his home and after that he's been following me around...What does he want? Nothing much. Just to kiss me and get me into his futon. You remember the entire night I disappeared on our way back home, don't you? I was with him alone in a cave where he almost succeeded in getting me out of my clothes. But that's okay, isn't it? Sesshoumaru's a great demon. He even got poisoned when he kept me from getting killed by a snake youkai after I left my guard down like you told me not to._

"_Father? Are you seizing? Should I get the herbal medicine for your heart?"_

Oh yeah, that would go over well.

It was close to midnight and I had begun to order the servants to escort our guests to their assigned quarters. Some of the younger ones had ventured into the city escorted by one or two samurai. Hiroyaki had excused himself earlier on and joined the rest of the palace samurai. Since our small talk in the hall, he had been silent and only answering any questions directly addressed to him in a short way.

After most of the guests were inside their rooms, I slipped into my personal library. I looked around the dark room lit only by the moonlight, then sighed with pleasure. Like a mouse to cheese, I pulled the nearest scroll from its place in the wall and sat near the window.

Yet what held my attention was the inu youkai downstairs.

Why was I so attracted to him? I had battled countless demons and met some of the most handsome men over the years. I had felt nothing for any of them other than a passing curiosity. And yet this demon male with open, honest eyes and a beguiling smile tugged at a heart I had banished years ago. I didn't need that. Messengers were forbidden to take lovers. Out of necessity, the Kami had created an out-clause, but I...

No! I was reborn to walk alone through time. I knew it. I had sworn myself to it. Never before had it bothered me. I cursed at the reminder.

"Oh, come one, Kagome," I said as I tightened my hold on the scroll. "Get him out of your territory, protect the jewel, and go on with your life. Forget you ever saw him."

Pain cut through me at the thought of never seeing him again. Still, I knew what I had to do.

Until I heard the sliding of the shoji.

With a gasp of dismay, not sure how long I'd been there, I quickly rolled the scroll, and placed it on the floor. As the door opened, I realized that I didn't have to explain my presence to anyone in my own library, but rather impulsively crouched.

As I waited, hardly daring to breathe, Sesshoumaru, walked into the room as if he owned the house and closed the door behind him. He appeared to be discomforted with something. He strolled past the shelves. As he slowly walked along, the fingertips of his right hand brushed the edges of the numerous scrolls like a lover's caress.

_Good Kami, why had I thought of that comparison?_

I should have been upset about him coming in here, especially because this was _my_ private part of the palace. No one dared to come in here. Instead, I was thinking about his long, elegant fingers or noting the lithe grace of his prowling walk. I certainly didn't want a repetition of previous confrontations and surely that was why my heart was pounding so hard.

Sesshoumaru was on the other side of the room. His side was more in shadow. "Lovely scent you have, Lady Kagome. Rather unique, too. Are you here all by yourself?"

He seemed rather taller in the darkness, too, and more menacing, as if he were the same inu youkai and not human. I commanded myself not to be so fanciful and tried to get my erratic breathing under control.

"Or might I find Tomoe no Hiroyaki hiding somewhere in this room?

That brought me to my senses. "No, of course, not!"

"Then why are you hiding in here? I hope you weren't lying in wait for someone else."

"I most certainly was not!" _I wasn't some silly, moonstruck girl_.

"Tomoe being a bore, was he?"

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of being right. "I wanted to be alone."

"Ah, of course," he replied skeptically.

"I was reading."

"Reading? At this hour of night?"

"I like to read." I wasn't going to submit to being interrogated as if I'd been caught trying to make off with the silver. "What are _you_ doing here? I do hope _I_ haven't disrupted an assignation with a lady."

His brows lowered. "No. As it happens, your father was being a bore and I sought refuge. I had no idea anybody was in here."

"Well, I was. I _am_."

"And now it is time for you to be on your way like a good little hime, Lady Kagome."

Of all the patronizing, condescending-! I wouldn't leave now if the room was on fire. Instead, I lifted my chin, walked up to him and crossed my arms. "What is wrong with you, _your highness?_" I demanded, looking into his cold, handsome face.

He was silent for a moment before replying. "Do you even care?"

"You aren't going to scare me away," I said, meaning it, and at the same time very aware that we were alone, and that his imperious tone had definitely softened.

_You know I do care_.

He laughed softly, the sound low and unexpectedly melodic in the dark room. "Oh, I most certainly wasn't trying to scare you. But shouldn't you be returning to your guests, and your doting admirer? He and Emperor Seiwa might be finished talking about grandchildren by now."

"I _don't_ want- " I fell silent, mentally berating myself for revealing even that much.

"To be around Tomoe?" Sesshoumaru finished, strolling around the small center table, his movement leisurely. "I can't say I blame you. For a young female who enjoys reading, I'm having difficulty imagining you getting along with him. I don't think he's read any scroll that didn't belong to his father."

His face was more visible now, all angles and planes and centuries of aristocratic heritage. Despite his casual pose, it wasn't difficult to imagine him dressed in the layered kimono of the Heian period, or enthroned in regal robes.

"How much of your library have you read?" I asked, the force of my retort lessened by the way my body responded to the picture my mind conjured.

"I've read all the scrolls in my library," he replied. "Over the years, I've kept only the scrolls I enjoyed." He straightened and his voice hardened. "None of them are my father's."

To my surprise, he gestured abruptly at the door. "You'd better get back to the others before they realize you're gone and come searching for you." Despite his action, his tone wasn't commanding or patronizing; it was weary and sad, like my father's when he was thinking of my late mother. I eyed him warily, all the while noting how sorrowful he seemed.

"Tell me, are you always so stubborn? Do you never do what you're told?" he asked, his voice low in the intimate darkness.

I stepped back, putting distance between myself and his muscular body, and the magic of his deep voice. Whether real or only imagined, he possessed a power that tugged at my deepest, most secret desires and brought them surging to the surface. "It all depends on who is asking me, and how they do it. Like most people, I don't enjoy being ordered about."

He cocked his head and regarded me studiously, as if I were some sort of scientific experiment. "Did you act this way even when you were little?"

That was better. I could breathe normally when he regarded me that way. "Hai."

"What did your parents do then?" He sounded sincerely curious, and because he did, I replied just as sincerely.

"I don't remember what exactly my okaa-san would do. My otou-san would try to convince me I was wrong and if that didn't work, I got sent to my heya without supper. It wasn't such a terrible punishment, though. I always had lots of scrolls to read while I was banished."

He nodded slowly, deep in thought, and when he spoke, it was more to himself than to me. "Hai, reading can be a great comfort. I remember once when- " He suddenly straightened as if he'd been called to attention. "Good night, Lady Kagome."

"Sesshoumaru?" I began, wondering what memory had prompted his abrupt change of manner. He marched out of the room without another word.

I stared after him puzzled and confused by what had happened. Yet as I tried to sort out his reactions and my own, to make some sense of our conversation and its meaning, one thing was certain: Sesshoumaru was a much more complicated man than I had ever imagined.

_At the end of his conversation with the host, he'd gone to where he knew Kagome's library was for a bit of peace and quiet. He needed to be alone after the bomb of information he'd just received. The arrogant okami had already made the decision to marry Kagome to the dim-witted samurai that followed her around like a shadow. 'Lord Seiwa' had even dared to say that Kagome had made the decision herself._

_Shocked (which he didn't show at the moment), he then feared he'd been wrong about her all along, and she was like so many other easily impressed young women who wanted to spend her life with a dull and coward man._

_As if. _

_He quickly composed his jealous and unreliable mind. Then he heard a little noise, no more than a whisper of fabric, and turned to find Kagome at the door, sliding it and stepping into the very location he was heading to. After calming himself enough for a rational and adult conversation he stepped inside._

_That didn't make the situation any less disturbing. It had to be the way she looked at him with those big lavender eyes, as if she were truly interested in him as a fellow living being, that made him want to tell her about his lonely, miserable, loveless childhood. Luckily, he remembered the reason for his discomfort and his anger at her. How could she not have told him about her future marriage with the stupid kid?! Whether she had agreed forcefully or willingly, he had a right to know about such an important decision._

_He needed to vent._

**DREAM**

The pain was so much. The more they kicked, the more consciousness I lost. But it'd be worst if I screamed out and complained so I stayed on the floor like the animal I was. I only covered my head. Especially now that they had found out whom I _really_ was.

_Just take it! Live with it like you always have! Take strength from it!_

I chanced a peak, although my swollen eyes and blurry visions allowed for nothing but shadows. It was the sound of the voices that I recognized. _Their voices_.

The usual five - Ban, Masaki, Ichiro, Shige and Ken.

"What? Rotten cabbage too good for a slave like you?" was the voice of Ban, the eldest of the apprentice monks.

I wanted to say no. To tell them that I would do anything they wanted, but answering back was also something they would punish me for. Instead, I let them do with me as they pleased. They kept kicking me all over my six year old body as Ban repeated the question over and over.

Then, in a jerking movement, Ban picked me up by my hair and spit in my face while I tried to pull his hands away silently. "I'm talking to you, _your highness_!"

Masaki, another of the apprentice, quipped. "Maybe she thinks that she's too good to answer you, Ban."

I cringed at the barb. This would only get me more beatings and probably cost me my only good leg. Throwing me face first to the floor into some animal's feces, Ban asked disgusted. "Is that true? You think you're too good to answer?"

Gazing down at the floor, I shook my head, nervously. However, things got even worst when Giichi came running and tried to stop them. "Don't, Ban! She is our princess! You could be killed for this!"

Hatred and anger instantly filled me. I hated Giichi. He always tried to help me and always made things worst. They would always intensify their torture when he came around.

"This weak, pathetic and ugly thing can't be our princess!" Then, he put his hands around my neck and squeezed hard. I clawed at his hands, but I still didn't cry out.

"Who's out there?"

All six of them ran at the voice of Tanaka-sensei. I was left there coughing and gasping for air. Any one would have felt relieved at the sound of his voice. But I wasn't anyone or _someone_.

Once he saw me, he yanked me up by my arm and bent me over a stump in the training yard. He ripped at the back of my ragged kosode and whipped me. I only held on to the stump as the fierce lashings cut open my flesh.

Over and over, a voice sounded in my head in time with the lashings.

**END OF DREAM**

The next morning I was awoken by a young female's whispering voice. "Hime-sama, Lord Seiwa needs you in his study, now."

"Is he alright?"

"Hai. But he says that you must come down NOW."

Grunting, I pulled off the thin blanket and changed my clothing. When I was tying my susuyoke (wrap-around; like a bra), I happened to glance out my window. It was still dark. I turned to the young servant.

"Did you forget to inform him it was still dark out?"

She lowered her hand and clasped her hands in front of her. "Iiee. He simply gave an order. We are expected to follow."

"Hn (Yeah)." I sent her off and I put on my geta.

I hadn't slept for most of the night. And what little sleep I had obtained had been occupied by the nightmare of long ago. Plus, the conversation in the library had me tossing and turning in the beginning. No matter how much I had tried to find a reason why he had treated me the way he had, I could not find any. When the young girl had entered my room, I had been asleep for only a few minutes.

Now, as I slid the door to my father's study, I was beginning to think that the youkai's presence was definitely not such a good idea. My father was signing some parchments. He was already dressed in his imperial garments and ignored my presence until he saw me sit.

"As you probably know, today the jewel will be entrusted to one of the miko who are here. However, although this feast was prepared for such event, I have disregarded to inform you of the other reason." He had not looked at me, but was organizing the many documents given to him.

"And what other reason would that be, tenno?"

"I could sweet talk to you all morning long, but we both know that is not the types of conversations we have. So, to get to the point," he lifted his face, "I have decided that Hiroyaki well make an excellent emperor."

I clenched my teeth. "For Hiro to be an emperor, he'd have to have been born to a royal family..."

"Or marry a future empress," he finished nonchalantly.

"Well, I'm sure cousin Mali would be very happy with Hiro."

He kept his gaze straight. "He will be a strong ruler."

"I won't disagree."

"He will make an excellent husband."

"I'm positive."

"_Your_ husband."

"My lord," I said, in hopes of getting on his good side, "_we_ agreed that _if_ I decided to hand over the responsibility of the jewel to another miko, then I would not shun the idea of marriage. Nevertheless, we also agreed that _if_ such a decision to marry would come, then I would be free to choose my own consort."

"I don't see how marrying Hiroyaki is a bad choice. Most young ladies of your royal status don't even get the privilege of choosing to marry or not. _I_ did give you that choice. Besides, Hiroyaki is already known to you. He has promised to keep no concubines and to be loyal to you in name and in bed."

"Demo, otou-san, I do not love him!" I bolted from the floor.

"SINCE YOU CAME BACK SEVEN YEARS AGO, I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT LET YOU RUN AROUND AND DO WHAT YOU PLEASE! I HAVE EVEN IGNORED WHEN YOU OVERSTEPPED YOUR BOUNDARIES IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHER PEOPLE! AND DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE RETURNED MONEY THAT IS PAID FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE! I HAVE EVEN OVERLOOKED YOUR INSISTANCE OF TREATING THAT INSUFFERABLE SERVANT, LANA AND THE ORPHAN WHELP, AS SOMEONE OF OUR STATUS. BUT THIS IS SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. YOU WILL MARRY HIROYAKI BY THE NEXT SUMMER. _AND THAT IS FINAL!_" His voice, though commanding was kept at a low scowl.

"And I have endured your coldness and your separation from me when I most needed you. I have never asked anything of you. When you sent me away, I obeyed. When you sent me off to rid the land of demons, I obeyed. When you ordered that I be paid for rendered service, I obeyed. And even, when you ordered I marry when the jewel was taken from me, I obeyed. But... I WILL NOT MARRY SOMEONE I DO NOT LOVE! I DO NOT WISH TO ENTER A LOVELESS MARRIAGE!" If he was going to challenge me, then he was in for one hell of a fight.

"What foolish notion! Whoever told you that love and marriage go hand in hand?" His mocking tone was making my blood boil.

"My mother... your wife." He stiffened at my response. "Or is it that she lied to me and your marriage was not the blissful union everyone thought?!"

_Slap!_

I touched the cheek he hit. It was not a hard hit and it would certainly not leave a mark, but the fact that he had done it, was what caused my surprise.

"This is final, Kagome. You either choose to be the guardian to the Shikon no Tama or you marry Hiroyaki. You have until tonight to answer me."

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "Basically, what you're saying is that I'm stuck with something I don't want for the rest of my life." He did not move. "Fine."

I spun around and headed for my cabin outside. Inside, the 'safety' of my room, I leaned against the closed door as I fought the raging need inside me. It was raw and vicious, and it made me ache for things I knew I could never have. Things that could only hurt me more. And I had been hurt enough to last ten thousand lifetimes. I had to put him out of my thoughts. But even as I stood there, the loneliness of my life settled on me with a vengeance.

I closed my eyes and willed myself not to cry or to yell. Lana was not here so there was no one who I could talk to. Eriko was too young to understand such things and was still probably asleep. Lana had been sent to Edo on an errand for my father. I was starting to believe that it was more than a simple coincidence, when she had accompanied me in every event in my life.

Unfortunately, things were going to get even worst once Sesshoumaru found out. Not that he should care. He only sees me as a friend, but I...

No, I needed to make a decision now. Whatever I chose would ultimately end up separating me from Sesshoumaru forever. If I agreed to marry Hiroyaki, I'd have to be his wife in every sense of the word. I knew Hiro and I knew he would really be loyal to me. I could not lie to him and see Sesshoumaru in secret even though we were just friends.

And if I chose to protect the Shikon no Tama, then the constant danger of being attacked would make Sesshoumaru think he had to stay and help me protect it. Were it not for the fact that he'd be considered a traitor to his species for protecting the very kind of creature he is supposed to kill, I would let him stay by my side.

"_You let your heart lead you far too often, girl. One day it's going to lead you to ruin."_ I winced at my father's warning in my head when I had innocently freed a youkai bear cub from a trap. I had just turned four. Neither of us had any idea at the time just how true those words would one day prove.

_I am a Messenger._

That was what I needed to focus on. I was the only thing standing between the people and annihilation. Those who wanted to Shikon were out there and I must stop them. I was responsible for a kingdom.

"I'm such a fool," I snarled, forcing myself to dress in my chihaya.

I would think no more of him and my past. I had a higher calling. One that couldn't be ignored. I was a protector. And I would live and die a protector, which meant that physical comforts such as a man like Sesshoumaru were strictly off limits to me.

_The palace gardens were decorated with the most expensive decorations. There were dancers to the left, musicians on the northern side, kyudo practicing to the right and next to them were the samurai showing off their kenjutsu (sword arts or killing ways) skills._

_Han walked out to the gardens. By this time breakfast had already been served and eaten. He had skipped all that, hoping to avoid any more contact with all these pretentious and snobbery individuals. Whether youkai or humans, he realized that all courtiers were exactly the same. After last night's argument, he had slipped out into these same gardens for the solitude and peace they had offered. _

_Once he had calmed himself enough, he realized what an idiot he had been. It was obvious by Kagome's answers that she had no idea what the okami and the wanna-be-warrior had planned for her. Now, all he wanted and the reason he had decided to even show up now and not until late that night, was to find her and apologize._

_He would have rather crept into her room but with all the servants, he didn't want to be caught and dishonor her. As an alternative, he decided to wait for her to come and then approach her. To his dismay, Kagome didn't come down from her heya until after lunch, which had him sitting with a gaggle of annoying women, whom claimed to be next to occupy the throne if Kagome decides not to marry._

'_Let them keep the damn throne! If Kagome was going to occupy any throne, it would be to the Western Lands... with him!' He shook his head to dispel that thought. _

_When Han saw her enter the gardens, his heart hammered at the sight of all the exquisite curves and power. Every inch of her screamed for him. Right now, she was sporting her usual miko garments. Perhaps she was going to display her excellent kyudo abilities. He didn't have to have his demonic senses to know that no ningen, male or female, could surpass her in that area or any other area at that._

_She passed by and did not even spare him a glance. She seemed different. It could be that his ningen sight was so weak, but he could almost swear she had returned to that cold and detached woman she had been when he first met her. Kagome stood by her father and bowed mechanically. _

_Not once in an hour did she blink. Until..._

"_Esteemed guests, Kagome-hime, my daughter, has graciously accepted to demonstrate her excellent abilities with her yumi and ya. After which, she will give each one of the miko present, the chance to spar with her."_

_Loud clapping ensued as the guests oohed and awed. She bowed and began the exhibition. Each arrow carried a huge amount of her powers that literally exploded as it hit its target. When her first set of ya was finished, Hiroyaki walked up to her and handed her a new set. They stood looking at each other until he put a cloth over her eyes._

_The emperor gave the order for the present samurai to throw in the air the small ball-like cloths. She hit them all and even hit an approaching, non-threatening youkai that tried to jump over the palace wall. Han had not failed to notice this last strike and was instinctively walking towards her when a large hand stopped him. _

_He turned to see the emperor. "She is fine. She has all she will ever need." _

_Han gazed at the miko and fisted his hands. The stupid kid was using every available moment to touch his mate. Currently, he was removing the cloth that covered her eyes and moving some lose strands that had fallen in her face. She didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, she didn't even try to push him away or move._

_Kagome put her arm in the samurai's and began walking towards the center. Hiroyaki bowed to her and went back to being a spectator. A number of the samurai approached her and laid down on the floor a wide variety of weapons. She motioned for the miko to choose their weapon of choice. Each miko, except one, grabbed a weapon and kneeled before the emperor and Kagome. _

"_I, Chika, miko of Okayama, salute my emperor, Seiwa, and my sister, Kagome-hime," came the first of the miko._

"_I, Keiko, miko of Kochi, salute my emperor, Seiwa, and my sister, Kagome-hime," was the same reply of the second miko._

"_I, Jingo, miko of Takamatsu, salute my emperor, Seiwa, and my sister, Kagome-hime," came the third miko._

"_I, Ami, miko of Choshi, salute my emperor, Seiwa, and my sister, Kagome-hime," came the fourth reply._

"_I, Aita, miko of Matsushima, salute my emperor, Seiwa, and my sister, Kagome-hime," came a final, dry and forced reply._

_Both royals nodded in acknowledgement. The emperor took a seat on one of the garden benches as the rest of the spectators followed his position. Kagome waited for each of the miko to take their positions around her. All but one had bow and arrows. The weaponless miko had looked familiar to the hime, but she had ignored it. Once each miko was positioned, Kagome took her _kamae_ (defensive posture). Like the final miko, Kagome had opted to use no weapon._

"Hajime_ (command to start; usually in a match)," came the stoic voice of the hime._

_It took but a single blow to the first four miko to take them down, finding their _kyusho_ (vital spot in the body). The hime was too fast and too quiet for them and she surprised each one in mid-attack. Arrows flew at Kagome but she moved so fast, he had to question whether the miko was really a human and not a youkai in disguise. The fifth miko, Aita, however, had barely managed to escape the blow with a minor blow to the side of her left rib cage. She crouched on the floor, ready to attack again, anger in her face._

"Yame_ (to halt an action)." Kagome took her _shizentai _(natural standing posture). "You four," she said, pointing to the still injured miko on the floor, "go back to your Shinto temples. While you may be capable of defending your furusato, you are not strong enough to carry the responsibility of the Shikon no Tama."_

_The four miko stood, slowly, and bowed at the hime and the okami. They picked up a small pouch with yen and exited the palace accompanied by some of the samurai. Han had watched with amusement and pride as his intended had disposed so easily of the miko. But something about this last one had him on edge. He felt no fear towards her, but something else bothered him about her. She seemed to despise Kagome for no apparent reason._

_Kagome circled Aita's crouching position in the floor. There was something oddly familiar about this miko that didn't sit well with her. "Bring the_ jo _(sticks)," the hime yelled at no one in particular. "We shall _shinken-shobu___ with the jo."_

_(A/N: ___shinken-shobu_ is a real fight using real swords, usually to the death. For purposes of my story, I decided to replace the swords with jo or fighting sticks)._

_Aita's position faltered for a moment but quickly recovered. The miko stood and grabbed one of the jo that had been thrown to her and to her opponent. Their kamae taken, they both waited for the other to attack._

_The emperor took his cue. "_Shobu_ (announcing beginning of match). Hajime."_

_Both miko sparred for a few minutes. Aita's _waza_ (skill, technique) was good. Yet Kagome's was much more precise and accurate with the grace that came only with training from Tanaka. Kagome grew angry at her inability to keep concentrated and decided to quickly end it. Were it not for a certain distraction dressed in midnight blue a few feet away, she would have discarded this miko like the other ones. _

_Finding an open spot on one of Aita's attacks, she used a _Migi-kote_ (strike to the right wrist) where Aita was holding her jo. Thus, removing Aita's weapon. Summer-salting to her weapons, she was able to retrieve it. As a final blow, Kagome used the _Uchiotoshi waza_ to finally end the match. The blow caused another opening for Kagome, resulting in a _yoko men_ (strike to the side of the head just above the ear)._

_(A/N: ___Uchiotoshi waza_ is a technique of striking an opponent's sword downward and taking advantage of the attacker's unbalanced position. Again, I replaced the sword with a jo. Humor me!)_

_Aita stood with her hand close to her ear. She was breathless and tired. "_Maitta_ (I'm beaten)!" By the sound of her voice, everyone noted that she was not pleased._

_Kagome removed the jo from Aita's side and threw the jo aside. Both miko _o tagai ni rei___. "Let me be the first to congratulate you here on your excellent _jukuren_ (skill) and spiritual ki," Kagome watched as Aita nodded in thanks. "Honored guests, let us go to the western side of the gardens and enjoy the performance of the dancers while we eat."_

_(A/N: ___O tagai ni rei_ is a mutual bow to your partner; a bow command used in traditional schools at the beginning and end of each class mainly referring to disciples of that ryu (school))_

_All the men and women walked to the side of the palace where a large table was set out. Each guest was being seated by the okami. Han remained at the back of the crowd in order to apologize to Kagome before they sat down._

_As she came into view, she allowed Han to take her hand and escort her to her seat. Before they sat down, she pushed a small piece of parchment into his sleeve and went to sit next to her father. He was seated in front of her, but what bothered him most was that the samurai was placed right next to her. Han noticed how her gaze was not focused. Her entire demeanor was not normal and her clipped answers only worried him more. Perhaps because, he thought, of the way he had accused her last night. Still, this was not a normal response. If she were mad at him, then wouldn't he have been kicked out by now?_

_Following the afternoon lunch, the guests were offered an escorted visit to the shrine or to the village marketplace. Some simply preferred to stay and rest before the nightly entertainment which promised to bring quite the excitement. When Han stood, he hoped to pull Kagome aside, but like before, she had slipped his grasp. He hated what he was about to do, yet desperate times called for desperate measures. Han approached the hated kid. _

"_Sumimasen, Haroki."_

"_It's Hiroyaki, my lord," spat Hiro from clenched teeth._

"_Gomen, Haroki," Han smirked inwardly at the samurai's angry frown._

"_Hai?"_

"_I wish to speak with Kagome. Do you happen to know where she went?"_

_Hiro tried to remain calm, which was resulting very hard. "It is __**Lady**__ Kagome and no I don't know where she could have gone. If it is an important matter, may I suggest that you take it up with the okami?"_

"_I would rather speak to __**Kagome**__. But thank you." Han had no choice but to wait for her in her room. If he ventured into the village, he might just get lost without his excellent sense of smell. The imperial city seemed bigger in his ningen state._

_He had to wait for the entire service staff to exit the palace for him to sneak into Kagome's room and wait for her. Once inside, he inhaled her scent which at the moment was not strong as usual, due to his physical weakness, but the scent was there nonetheless. As the minutes went by he remembered the small parchment she had slipped into his sleeve. Carefully, opening it, he read its contents._

_We need to talk. Meet me in the glade before the sun sets. Until then, refrain from any contact with me._

_K._

_Folding the paper once more, he replayed the words in his mind. It troubled him, to say the least. But there was no Kagome in sight, so all he could do was wait. However, if she returned to find him here, that would upset her. He stood and quietly made his way to his own guest room._

The shrine was filled with every day villagers and some of the guests from the palace. Knowing the temple like the back of my hand, I made my way to the back. There I found Kazuo, in zazen (sitting meditation). Quietly sitting and hoping not to break his concentration, I closed my eyes to join him.

A few moments later, we both opened our eyes at the same time. Though the temple itself was full of loud whispers, this room offered the privacy necessary to meditate and pray.

"It seems the jewel has finally found its permanent home?"

"Hai."

"You are sure about this?"

"Hai."

He lowered his head. "Then I suppose I must congratulate you on your decision. Both Lady Midoriko and Kyo would be proud."

"Arigatou." Not for one moment did we glance in each other's direction. "I need you to look after a small child I will send your way. Please keep her here until you find her a home."

"You're going to Nara after you let the okami know of your decision, I presume."

"Of course. Will you do what I ask?"

He nodded once. "I'll pray for happiness in your new life."

I bowed and exited the shrine, taking the path that lead through the woods.

Thankfully, my father had accepted my excuse for some needed rest. That would give me enough time to come and go. I went to the palace stables to retrieve Kirara, who had been ordered to stay there by the okami. Apologizing to her, I untied her chain. She bumped my head in acceptance, knowing full well that all this was done against my will. Apparently, most guests were afraid that Kirara, like many youkai, would harm them when she had the chance.

I had to ride sideways because of the irotome I was wearing for the evening. When we landed, I asked Kirara to wait for me by the river. She transformed back to her smaller form and sat by the river's edge.

It was hard to know if Sesshoumaru was here already, but a very small ki alerted me to his presence inside the cave. But he wasn't the only one here. _The presence _was here too and every cell in my body knew that she was only here to enjoy my pain. I stopped at the entrance and willed myself to go on with what I was about to do.

The candles inside were all lit up and his scent overlapped that of the melting wax. He was sitting on one of the chests at the far left. He instantly smiled, stood and began walking to me. I lifted a hand to stop him in his tracks.

"Matte. Stay where you were." He walked back and sat down.

"Just like that night you told me about your fear, I will ask _you_ to listen to me and don't speak." He looked puzzled and thought about what I just said. It was apparent that he did not like it, but he nodded anyways.

"You..." I paused to swallow that huge lump in my throat, "are something to me between dream and miracle. I find more peace in you than I thought I could find in the entire world. You have always been there when I needed you. Even though we don't always agree with each other, our friendship has always prevailed. You have taught me kindness and understanding-"

_You have given me the ability to find love in the world._

He remained still, his eyes glistening with something akin to comprehension. He knew where this was going but made no movement to stop me. So, I continued.

"I have come to know and care for you like I've never known and cared for another. I would go to any lengths to keep you safe..."

_Because I want you to know that anytime you reach for me, you'll find me there._

Standing more rigid and a sneer on my face, I licked my lips. "But in all this, I cannot forget who _I_ really am and who _you_ really are – a miko and a youkai."

_Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. _

"Tell me, Sesshoumaru. Do you care for me?"

His brow wrinkled. "What?"

"Just answer the question. Do you or do you not?" I snapped

His cheeks flushed, he didn't hesitate. "With all my heart."

Believing him in this, and everything he ever said, I let out my breath slowly and ran my hand over the nearest wall, the granite smooth beneath my fingers. "Kagome, you do believe me, don't you?"

I looked at him. "Yes, Sesshoumaru, I do believe you," I answered stoically.

"Thank Kami!" He crossed the distance between us in a stride and gathered me into his arms. I stood stiff and still, willing myself not to be swayed by the desire his embraces always engendered.

I called upon my darkened dormant powers. Instantly, I felt my black aura encircle me as the ever-living monster in me awakened and smelled youkai blood. My entire being pulsed with the natural feeling of someone who was used to killing and making the death as painful as possible.

Pushing him off me with enough force to break a normal human's bones, he slid back and raised questioning eyes at me. "I told you that I hate being touched."

"I thought you would like me being nice to you. Sorry."

"Why would you do something nice for me?"

"Because you and I are friends. I like being nice to you."

Ever skeptical, I let my hatred envelope me. "What do you care about that?"

"I just do."

"Why?"

"I'm sensing you keep having trouble with my being nice to you."

"Yeah," I said. "I do. No one is nice. Especially not to me."

"Kagome- "

"I don't want your pity." I saw the hurt in his eyes, but it only made my resolve strengthen. "Or your kindness. Just stay out of my way and out of my life. I don't need to be playing babysitter to a spoiled dog prince. I want to rid this land of your disgusting kind. One day your name will appear on my list and I will not hesitate in killing you."

"Why is it so important to you that you kill everyone around you? Why do you hate everyone?"

To his dismay, he had touched a very tender subject. Something I had learned to do but never allowed myself to use, I reached out to him and placed one hand on his shoulder.

His entire body became rigid as his mind took in all I had to show. "Stop!" he cried, unable to bear it.

"That is a ten second glimpse of years of torture I have endured because of someone's avarice and cruelty. Any more questions?"

Sesshoumaru could barely breathe. He just shook his head. His eyes met mine for only a second before my coldness made him look away.

"Then I hope you can appreciate what I'm going to do for you, Barky." I took a deep breath. "I want you to leave and never come back."

He gasped, and listened dumbfounded, at what I was going to do. "Leave me alone, Sesshoumaru. Don't try to see me, or talk to me, or come anywhere near me. In a few weeks I'll be going to my new home in Nara and if you truly consider me a _friend_ as claim, you will stay away. If you do this, I will make a mental note to kill you swiftly when I am called to take your head."

My own heart ached to think of that long separation and the look in his eyes nearly stripped me of my determination. But I meant what I said: I had to for his sake.

"You are closing any arguments here." He looked at me, sadness and anger in his voice.

"Let us part now in good terms, than later in hatred."

After a long pregnant pause, he laughed and stood walking past me. "Maybe we should have never met."

The pain in my heart at his words was almost unbearable, but I needed to keep face. If not for me, then for him. "Indeed."

He was exiting when he turned once more and walked in again. He stopped when he was directly in front of me. He hugged me lightly and whispered in my ear, "I hope that through our friendship I've enriched your life in some small way. You have certainly made me richer by far. You've soaked up my heart and 'translated' me to the world."

Sesshoumaru let go and walked off. At the edge, he yelled without stopping, "Ja mata, Kagome."

"No." He halted but did not turn. "Sayonara... Lord Sesshoumaru."

_Her_ laughter rang loudly in my head. Oh, she definitely did enjoy my misery. One day, I was going to find out who _she _was and make her pay.

I kept the tears a bay and waited for his silhouette to disappear with the sun. I walked down the stones that formed steps up to the cave entrance. I watched the sun disappear and the last of its rays die with the coming night.

After some time, though, "Do you plan to stay in the shadows forever? Or did you think that pathetic excuse for a masking spell would work on me?"

The silent observer, who had been there since I arrived, stepped out. His silver hair was flowing and his demanding presence made everything in the forest seem dull. Even without his armor, he commanded respect. "I'll work on that."

"He won't come back. Do not worry."

"I don't."

"Then why else would you be here."

"I was actually looking for you. When I was heading towards your home, I caught your scent trailing in this direction."

"I _know_ why you were looking for me."

"Do you now?" the surprise evident in his voice.

"You heard what was said. So you don't have to pretend. You can go back to your lands and finally relax. I have known from the beginning he has been sneaking out."

He walked closer to me and sat on a large rock that went up the cave's mouth. "What makes you think that any of that which was said in there will make me relax?"

"Once the official ritual is performed tomorrow, nothing could be done to reverse it. He will not be able to come near me even if he tried. I, for one, plan to live my life in my home and only travel when absolutely necessary. If he is the man you raised him to be, and who I know he is, he will keep his word and stay away."

"And you?"

"What about me?" I asked with indifference.

"Do you plan to stay away from _him_?"

I glared at him, but I would not give him the satisfaction of letting my anger show. "I have no reason to seek him out."

"Do you love him?" His question caught me completely off guard.

"Love is not a word that I have had the misfortune of experiencing. I only know of it through what I have seen and therefore somewhat concluded."

"Then, pray tell what it is that you have 'concluded'."

For a moment I was at a loss. "When I think of love, I think of hope, togetherness and sharing. When I think of love, I think of simple things, a simple life. Those are things that I can never have with anyone. But I do want Sesshoumaru to have all that with someone who can and not with someone like me who never will be able to. So, Daiyoukai, I hope this will be our last encounter."

I bowed and mounted Kirara. "You did not answer my question."

Kirara was already walking when I talked, my back to him. "Love is being happy for the other person even when they are with someone else. Love is knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens. It is missing the other person when they are away but remaining near in heart at all times. Love is the source of security, the source of reality."

We disappeared within the shadows of the forest before he could inquire more.


	37. Chapter 37

He felt frustrated

_**In secret we met - **_

_**In silence I grieve,**_

_**That thy heart could forget,**_

_**Thy spirit deceive.**_

_**-Lord Byron, "When We Two Parted"**_

**CHAPTER 35**

_Dressed in all in black, Kagome portrayed an aura of a trained fighter. He wanted to stroke the fine material of her chihaya and feel the soft curves beneath it. She looked so dangerous and feral. Her wintry gaze took in the poorly lighted room. He had taken the liberty of lighting some of her candles._

"_You did this?" He nodded._

_As she began to speak, he felt the sincerity behind every word. But despite the great things she had been saying, some little voice in the back of his mind kept screaming that something was wrong. He could feel the cold miko that he had encountered months ago. The miko that could very much rival the biting chill of this upcoming winter._

_When he moved towards her and embraced her, she harshly pushed him away. "I told you that I hate being touched." Her scowled deepened._

_He couldn't understand her ire. It was as if his kindness truly ticked her off. "I thought you would like me being nice to you. Sorry."_

"_Why would you do something nice for me?"_

"_Because you and I are friends. I like being nice to you."_

_Still, there was no reprieve in that cold, penetrating stare. "What do you care about that?"_

"_I just do."_

"_Why?"_

_Never in his life had he met someone who had this much trouble accepting help. Dear Kami, what had they done to her that something as simple as lighting candles for her to see made her suspicious? "I'm sensing you keep having trouble with my being nice to you."_

"_Yeah," she said. "I do. No one is nice. Especially not to me."_

_Something tugged deep inside him at those growled words. After all he'd shared with her, did she still not trust him? "Kagome- "_

"_I don't want your pity." The strength of her aura rippled out and blew out three out of five candles. "Or your kindness. Just stay out of my way and out of my life. I don't need to be playing babysitter to a spoiled dog prince. I want to rid this land of your disgusting kind. One day your name will appear on my list and I will not hesitate in killing you."_

_Wow. That just made him all warm and toasty inside. She was like an agitated feline inside a rattling cage. "Why is it so important to you that you kill everyone around you? Why do you hate everyone?"_

_Out of nowhere an image burned through his mind. It was a younger Kagome. She was in a dark, dismal room, hanging painfully by her arms. Her brown hair was matted with blood and dirt, and fell forward, over her face. Completely naked, her body was covered with bleeding wounds. The agony in her eyes was searing. She tried to escape or fight, but there was nothing she could do. Blow after blow from a steel-barbed whip rained over her flesh, tearing open new wounds and spinning her about. The two figures in blue cloaks who beat her didn't care what they hit so long as they caused her pain._

_The more she bled the more they laughed._

"_Stop!" he cried, unable to bear it._

_Kagome moved her arm from his shoulder. The images vanished as quickly as they'd begun._

_Kagome gave him a look so cold it reached down inside him and made a part of his very soul freeze. "That is a ten second glimpse of years of torture I have endured because of one person's avarice and cruelty. Any more questions?"_

_He couldn't breathe for the pain inside him. All he could do was shake his head. No wonder she was angry. It was hard to breathe past the lump in his throat._

"_Then I hope you can appreciate what I'm going to do for you, Barky. I want you to leave and never come back." _

_Barky? Sesshoumaru ignored what she had just called him and instead half-listened to what she was saying. "Leave me alone, Sesshoumaru. Don't try to see me, or talk to me, or come anywhere near me. In a few weeks I'll be going to my new home in Nara and if you truly consider me a friend as claim, you will stay away. If you do this, I will make a mental note to kill you swiftly when I am called to take your head."_

"_You are closing any arguments here." _

"_Let us part now in good terms, than later in hatred."_

_He couldn't believe this. But he knew deep down it was the best for both of them. Earlier, she had given her blessing for his mating with Michiru. And now, she was finally giving him a reason to stay away. For surely no one in their right mind would stay at the side of a woman so physically and mentally scarred. So insane. He gave an empty laugh. "Maybe we should have never met."_

_She answered so nonchalantly. "Indeed."_

"_Ja ne, Kagome."_

"_No." He stopped, hoping and praying to whatever God would listen, that she had changed her mind and was calling him back. "Sayonara... Lord Sesshoumaru."_

_So it was final. She had not been lying._

_He was now able to go home and freely mate the demoness he had chosen. Then why the hell did he just want to rush back in and claim her? He shouldn't feel like this. Only his destined mate would invoke in him such strong feelings. Surely the gods didn't intentionally tie him to a human...right?_

_He walked aimlessly for half the night. At this pace, he'd probably be back at the Kuroi Hoshi in one or two... weeks? He ran a hand through his hair, realizing for the first time in hours that leaving the safety of the cave was not a good idea. He was still in his human form and if he encountered any youkai, he might as well kiss this world goodbye._

_But did living really mattered at all now that Kagome could no longer be in his life?_

_No, nothing else mattered. He only wished that life brought her way all the happiness that she deserved and that had been denied to her. Even if that happiness was given by the idiot samurai. He had to recognize that the kid did truly and honestly love Kagome. He would be her husband and she would be his wife. And together they would form a family, with many pups. Pups that should be his and hers._

_All he wanted now was to return to his home and drink himself to death. Maybe he could use one of those drinks to toast to her new life. His father's words rang in his head. "_She's not meant for you_."_

We had barely moved a few feet away from the glade when I felt _their_ voices calling inside my head.

"Kirara," she growled, sensing the tension in my body. "Go home. I'll catch up with you in a while."

As always, she wanted to argue, but this was one argument neither she nor I would ever win. She roared loudly and flew away. The wind picked up a bit and I had to laugh at the irony of the situation. Figures the time I actually wear something nice, _they_ come to collect and ruin it.

I took a moment to close my eyes and catch the auras of the Daiyoukai and his son move away rapidly. "Live long and enjoy what I have just given you, Sesshoumaru. It is the best thing I could give for you."

A band appeared on my neck that heated and pierced me. Wincing, I felt my body leave the area and return to the dark room I had come to know so well over the years. The blistering winds coming in through the only entrance cut through my body as I stood, waiting.

"_What did you do?"_

"_My job."_

A disembodied slash opened on my left cheek to the bone. I cursed at the pain of the wound.

"_Worthless slave. You let the son of the Inu no Taishou go?"_

"_I do not attack nor kill those that are not on the List. You made those rules."_

Another slash cut across my torso so deep it forced me to my knees. Damn! This was one of my mother's kimono. _"Your compassion toward that family disgusts us."_

"_Yeah, well, you don't exactly thrill me, either."_ I realized I should have kept my opinion to myself as I was thrown against the wall.

"_One day, slave, you'll learn obedience. As for the dogs...the first one to make The List will be the heir."_

Panicking for the first time in thirteen years at their threats, I felt my heart thumping hard against my chest. Putting both knees down and touching my forehead to the floor in submission, I spoke softly. _"I can't."_

I could almost feel the sadistic grins on their faces. _"You know what we want from you, slave."_

I dared to lift my eyes to them. As always, all I saw were three pairs of red eyes hidden behind floating blue cloaks. I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth. I couldn't kill Sesshoumaru, but what they wanted was something that even I...

"No," I whispered regrettably.

They laughed mockingly. "_Then the inu youkai shall be eliminated."_ My anger blazed and my aura threatened to spill. Somehow even they knew not to let my entire anger free. The last time that happened, I ended up doing some irreparable damage to everyone, including them. _"Unless, you're willing to negotiate. Think about it, Messenger. We shall seek you out in seven human days. But for now..."_

I swallowed as my clothes were stripped from me. I knew what punishment was to come and it was going to hurt like hell.

Yeah, Sesshoumaru and his entire family owed me more than they could ever dream.

_He had not been watching where he was going when he was suddenly punched hard across the face. He shook his head several times to focus his vision. The darken night didn't help much. When his balance and vision returned, he realized he might get his death wish early._

"_You have disobeyed my orders and you could have killed yourself and her in the process! Do you have any idea what you have done to her?!" He was not in the mood to keep his temper down._

_Sesshoumaru wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth. "It doesn't matter any more. You got your wish. I will no longer go to her... even though I am aching to do so!"_

"_You are selfish in your own feelings. Do you think she is not suffering the consequences of your actions as well? You pushed her into a decision she should have never had to make. In doing so, you have condemned her to a life of more misery! Do you not care about that?"_

_He ran up to his father and punched him in the face. The Daiyoukai didn't even flinch. "How can you stand there and say that I don't care about her! She is EVERYTHING to me! I would die for her! I even tried to be a human for her! Anything for just one moment of her time! Anything for one of her smiles, to hear the melodic sound of her laughter, the warmth of her eyes when she looks at you!"_

"_And then what? Listen to yourself! All you have done has been for you. You'd ask her to run away with you? You had to know that in the end, she would be the one to lose, while you got your moment with her. She wouldn't just leave everything to run away with you. Unlike you, she is responsible."_

_Sesshoumaru didn't want to argue anymore. Nothing would change. Instead, he began walking again towards his home in defeat. "You got what you wanted. What does it matter how it happened?"_

_The Inu no Taishou was angry, but his love for his son was stronger. He felt like the villain in the story. What could he do but keep doing what he was entrusted to do? He walked up to his son, grabbed his arm and encircled both of them in his blue sphere._

_In Sesshoumaru's room at the Crescent Moon, servants were entering and exiting. The demon lord had ordered that his heir's room be cleaned and a bath prepared. Sesshoumaru was lying on his side in his futon, exactly the way his father had left him. He told everyone to leave them once the bath was ready._

_The demon lord disrobed his son and helped him enter the indoor spring. For a moment, the Inu no Taishou thought that if he left him, Sesshoumaru would end up drowning himself, but to his astonishment, he only sat there. The prince's eyes seemed lifeless. It reminded the older youkai of the time when he had lost his own mate. He could only imagine that Sesshoumaru was going through the same thing._

_After he helped, or rather after he washed his son, he wrapped Sesshoumaru in a large cloth and walked with him back into the room. He made Sesshoumaru drink a cup of tea that would let him sleep until late morning. It took a while, but with his son asleep, he could rest himself. Sesshoumaru's present physical state had made the task more difficult and therefore slower._

_The Inu no Taishou slipped out the room. He stepped into his own gardens and headed to the small pond on the back of the castle. He sat there under a giant tree and rose with the first light of the morning sun. He felt spiritually tired. On one hand was the happiness of his own son, but on the other, the happiness of Kagome, who was like a daughter to him._

_As of this moment, Lady Kagome, Empress of Nippon, was now the wife to some samurai of her father's. He knew he should have not allowed her to make that decision, but to separate her from that ningen male would be nothing compared to a separation from Sesshoumaru. For now, it was best that she stay mated to the samurai. With everyone knowing her to be mated, she would be safe and out of harms way._

_This was all getting too complicated. And now that his suspicions were confirmed, he had no choice but to wait. Wait for 'him' to come and finally take his place beside her. It hurt him to know that she could not be destined for Sesshoumaru. She would have made an excellent Lady of the Western Lands and a perfect mate for his son._

_But, no use crying over spilled milk. What was done was done. All he could do now was help Sesshoumaru pick up the broken pieces in his life and try to help him cope with the loss._

_Aita wasn't a very happy miko at the moment. All her years of training, sacrificing her own happiness and family had all been in vain. She had lost! Perhaps Kagome had been right, that day, long ago. _

_Still her fighting spirit refused to acknowledge defeat! Instead she tried to think that now she could perhaps be recognized as a true strong miko. Kagome had certainly complimented her skills. Not all was lost yet. There was still a chance that one day Kagome would come to her and ask her to join her. _

_That would be the greatest day of her life! _

_But right now, she had the opportunity to help Kagome. Unfortunately, the filthy inu youkai refused to leave. He was a cunning powerful demon. She'd underestimated him. He'd managed to disguise himself as a human and was now leaving some secret meeting place. He seemed dazed as he exited the mouth of the cave. In that state, he'd be easy game. Aita could finally extinguish the evil that wanted to taint Kagome._

_After being defeated in the battle against her idol, Aita was escorted from the castle grounds. She had remained in the forest, sitting under a tree, wallowing in her pain. That was when she saw him. He had left the palace, unescorted. She didn't know why she followed him, a little voice within her told her that there was something not right about that man, but she was grateful she did. As soon as he was far enough from the forest that surrounded the castle, he put on a familiar haori. The intricate designs spoke of royalty, but she couldn't quite remember where she'd seen the particular piece of clothing._

_After several hours of trailing, it dawned on her where exactly she'd seen the haori. It was the filthy inu youkai that wished to pollute Kagome's pure soul. How he'd manage to get pass all the miko undetected and in human form nonetheless was remarkable. Too bad it would all be in vain!_

_She would have killed him then and there. But only seconds after he arrived at his destination, she felt Kagome's aura nearing. When Kagome came into view and entered the cave, Aita used all her power to mask her scent and blend within the thick lining of the glade. She'd waited for several minutes when another powerful aura approached the glade. It was demonic, powerful and immensely strong. Whoever it was, also wished to remain undetected. She remained quiet._

_Minutes later the youkai exited the cave heading west. Truly, this had turned into a great day! Without second guessing, she followed the demon, deeper into the forest, where no one would interfere. Kagome didn't need to see this or dirty her own hands with his filthy blood. Maybe after she killed him, she could take some memento and offer it to Kagome as symbol of her devotion and loyalty. Surely Kagome would be pleased and ask her to stay by her side indefinitely. Yes! That sounded wonderful!_

_She was about to pierce his evil heart with her arrow when that other demonic aura that had been present at the glade appeared and punched 'the human' youkai. As Aita listened, she learned that the older demon was the father, who was furious that his offspring was following Kagome. Damn him! His timing couldn't have been worst. He carried a very pliant youkai and disappeared in a blue sphere of power._

_She cursed! Well, what was done was done. Maybe she didn't get to kill the inu youkai, but it seemed that now, both she and Kagome would have nothing standing in the way. Feeling a bit more content, she began her journey back home._

_He heard voices, sounds. He saw images, blurs of his surroundings. There were times he could swear he recognized the sounds and the images, but they were only fleeting moments. And just like they came, they would disappear, to leave him once again in the darkness._

_The darkness that he wished would just take him. He was tired and didn't want to fight anymore. But fight what? He didn't even know who he was, much less know what it was that wanted him to just give up and embrace that darkness._

_But every time he was ready to give in, something, or rather someone would stop him. He wasn't sure who it was. He only knew it was a female. Her voice was a light in his dark world. She would call out his name and then..._

_And then she would fade away._

_It was her voice that would not let him lose. It was her voice that tried to convince him that this was not where he had to be. And it was her voice that finally wrapped around his soul and pulled him out of his misery._

_Her name..._

"_...Kagome," the very air in his lungs._

_Juro and Ujio raced across the land in the almost nonexistent night after they received the note from their otou-san about Sesshoumaru's condition. They only hoped that they weren't too late. Both inu youkai replayed the words in the notice._

_Juro, Ujio_

_It is never easy to give such news about one's own blood. I need for both of you to prepare yourselves for the worst. As you both probably know (and I'm more than sure you do – a matter which shall be discussed later), Sesshoumaru went to see Lady Kagome. Well, to make a long story short, she asked him to leave her and never return. Your yakkai (brother) did not take the decision well. He is currently intoxicated to a point where death is more than a sure outcome. I need for both of you to come and help me knock some sense in him. Onegai, my sons, hurry!_

_Your Father_

_When they reached the Crescent Moon, they found the Inu no Taishou literally trying to knock down the door, but to no avail. He quickly informed them of the situation. It appeared that Sesshoumaru had used one of his mother's ancestral spells to put a barrier in the room. No matter how hard they banged, the barrier would not let any one through._

_Ujio was the first to try. "Yakkai let us in. We only want to see that you are fine." His voice was calm._

_No answer. This would have been a good sign were it not for the smell of sake mixed with blood in the air emanating from the room._

_This time Juro intervened. "Sesshoumaru let us in. If not for us, then... at least... for Kagome."_

_The barrier was weakened enough at the end of Juro's plea – enough to let Juro and Ujio in. The Daiyoukai wanted to enter, but if Sesshoumaru saw him, he was afraid that would only make things worst. Instead, he waited for his two other sons to come out when they had helped the younger inu youkai._

_Inside, Ujio and Juro found Sesshoumaru slumped on the right corner of his room. There were no candles lit and the smell of sake dominated any other smell. They approached him, very slowly and careful. An inu youkai in pain or hurt was very unpredictable. The closer they got, the more they realized that Sesshoumaru was mumbling something. With twin curses, they realized that he was still human._

_As soon as they were next to him, they became aware that in his delirium or mental detachment, Sesshoumaru was talking to someone. He would, at times, lift his hand, reaching out to touch or grab something. His eyes were looking off to somewhere, perhaps the place his mind was quickly escaping to. Juro and Ujio thought that maybe he was seeing Death that was closing on him._

_They both tried to bring him out of whatever trance he was in. At times, they slapped him, yet he did not respond. Or was it that he didn't want to? They felt so helpless and were about to call their otou-san when something unexpected happened._

"_Kagome," the sound was rough, a side effect to the huge amounts of sake that had probably burned some of his throat._

_Sesshoumaru's gaze became focused. He took in his surroundings. It required much effort on his part to piece together the things that he had experienced and seen. His eyes wondered about the room and fell on both his brothers who were sitting on the edge of his futon. Dark circles under their eyes marred their otherwise perfect masculine features as they looked at him with much shock._

_Juro took in a deep breath. "Can we safely say we have you back?"_

_Sesshoumaru was about to respond when Ujio literally beat him at the punch. The prince rubbed his chin, but realized it did not hurt. He looked at his hands and his hair that fell in front of him. His magenta stripes and his silver hair were back. Every smell and every detail in the room finally beginning to sharpen._

"_Don't you ever do something that stupid again! No female is worth it! Especially her!" He would have continued but he was being pressed to the ground, his airway blocked._

"_NEVER TALK ABOUT HER IN THAT WAY! NONE OF THIS IS HER FAULT! I MADE HER DO ALL THIS AND IT IS SHE THAT HAS TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY CHOICES! IF ANYONE IS INNOCENT IN ALL THIS, IT IS HER!"_

_Juro pulled Sesshoumaru off Ujio just before the inu youkai on the ground passed out of asphyxiation. All three of them sat and exchanged glances. There was no need for apologies or words._

_Abruptly standing, Sesshoumaru grabbed his yellow and blue sash, kissed it unconsciously, and placed it on his arm. He picked up his sword and his boots. He went into the spring and without thinking of the cold water, he jumped in and cleaned himself enough to wash away the stinking smell of alcohol and blood from a cut he inflicted on his chest. He had tried to cut off his clothing earlier when he couldn't claw it off. In his drunken stupor the blade had missed his lung. The blade only grazed him, but it still made a cut deep enough for the flow of blood to go on for several minutes. Had it not been for his youkai strength returning, he probably would be dead by now._

_Exiting the bathing room, he directed himself to his futon fully dressed and searched for the necklace Kagome had made to allow him passage into her castle. His brothers only watched him without saying a word. They had an idea what he was going to do, but they dared not ask._

_That was, of course, until Juro asked. "Just promise me that this time, you will make things right. She deserves to be happy, my brother."_

_Sesshoumaru knew what the hidden meaning was in those few words. He nodded to both his brothers and jumped out of his window without another glance or word. The hell he was going to let Kagome have the last say in this. He only hoped that Kagome had not done what she had set out to do._

"_Onegai, chotto matte (Please, wait). Just give me a little more time. I'm coming." His silent plea would never reach her on time. _

OMG! These chapters were really hard to write. No matter how many times I tried to write them, I was never pleased. The content in it hits too close to home and the atmosphere that I was trying to portray just didn't seem to come out. But I don't think that changing more of it will make things better and here you have a "better" version of my ideas.

All right...a few things before you review (and you must! JK! But really, do review.).

_Those_ of you :**looks at everyone skeptically**: who read my author's note at the beginning of Ch. 32 know that this is my last update for a good two and a half maybe three months. Right now, I'm sitting in front of my computer in San Antonio. In two weeks, I'll be polishing the next chapters in my home in Mexico City where I start my new job for which I was promoted and transferred. I'll be busy between unpacking and organizing, getting settled at work and getting registered at medical school. So please be patient and **REVIEW**!!

Another thing is that, since my beta has unfortunately had some personal things to take care of (and for which I totally understand), these chapters probably have several grammatical errors, so bear with me. As soon as I get a chance, I'll go back and make the necessary corrections.

And lastly, any of you guys who came over from A Single Spark, I suggest (I am not saying you should!) that you register on either of the two sites you're reading this story. I'm merely offering this suggestion because it's easier for me to reply to your reviews. Again, it's completely your choice.

So...have a nice weekend! See you all in some weeks. Take care!


	38. Chapter 38

_**For it hath been by sorrow nursed,**_

_**And ached in sleepless silence, long**_

_**- Lord Byron, **__**My soul is dark**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 36**

**1204 A.D. ~ **_**OCTOBER**_

Three days.

Three miserable days.

Three miserable days without him... sitting in prayer inside the temple.

And by this third day, I realized that my life would never be the same. Rain clouds were forming out in the sky, no thunder or lightning. For the first time in my existence, I wished for them, or at least wished they would strike at me and put me out of my misery. Anything was better than to live like this.

I had tried to find sleep. But it wouldn't come. And when I had the fortune of slipping into a quick unconscious state, Yasuhani wasn't there. I searched fruitlessly for _him_. However, he was gone. I always found myself inside a large room, no windows, no doors. I called out to _him _but there was never an answer on hisbehalf. By that third day, I realized that the wall of 'my room' had crescent moons on them, just like Sesshoumaru's marking. It dawned on me that since he marked me, I had yet to have a dream about _Yasuhani. _Sesshoumaru had unknowingly closed off any contact with _him. _Yasuhaniwas out there, I felt _him_. It only added to my misery to know that my only haven was out of my reach.

And because _Yasuhani _wasn't with me, the nightmares returned. The horrible scenes would play before my eyes even when awake.

Lana had come on more than one occasion but just like everything else, her presence made no difference to me. When Eriko wasn't out running errands with Lana, she was curled up next to me, chatting away like there was nothing wrong. I think that it was perhaps her way of shutting out the negative things like when her 'mother' had been killed. Hiro had stood outside the shoji yesterday talking to me; respecting our agreement on that fateful night, and allowing me time to adjust. Even Kirara remained by my side and didn't once move.

I didn't care. I hadn't even eaten. I just wanted to forget. Unfortunately for me, that was the one thing that the Kami would never permit. It was forever my curse to remember.

But the memory was there along with the hurt. Hurt because I couldn't be with the one I longed for. Hurt because life had denied me the one thing I had ever asked for. But most of all, I felt hurt because he gave up so easily. Perhaps it was better this way. At least he would be happy. That's all that mattered now.

As I lay on the futon, Eriko asleep beside me, I felt _it_ again. _It_ was here, watching.... watching me. Kirara always growled when _the presence_ came. I felt _its,_ or rather, _her_ aura. She was happy. My agony had always been her food. If I strained myself, I could almost hear her laughter. With the weight of my pain, I lifted myself to a sitting position.

"Why do you hate me so? Why does my happiness affect some _thing_ like you?"

"_I want you dead!"_ It was there. I felt the hatred behind its words. Words that sounded more in my own head than outside.

I stood; my legs were numb from lack of movement in these days. "For once we agree."

I gazed outside. There was a slight snow drizzle that late afternoon, which gave me the perfect opportunity to escape unnoticed. My movements were sluggish but I managed to put on a tattered old black kimono and an old white cloak.

I kneeled and kissed Kirara's head. "You are my only true friend. I shall never forget what you have done for me. I only hope that one day you will understand why I am doing this. Sayonara, Kirara. Take care of Lana, Eriko and father." I put the palm of my hand on her forehead before she could say anything and released a small amount of energy that would put her in a light and harmless state of dream. "Gomen."

I left them slumbering, not once looking back.

* * *

The climb up the mountain had been hard in my state of weakness. I felt like all the energy had been drained from my body. But I made it. The light flakes that had been falling had by now turned into heavy pouring. It was cold, but not as cold as my body. Positioned at the edge where the water fell, I looked down. The glade at the bottom looked gloomy. It looked nothing like it used to when Sesshoumaru and I would be there.

Hundreds of images flashed in my head of the times we shared. Every word, every gesture was still fresh in my mind. I had memorized the lines of his face and every speck of gold in his eyes. All the memories would stay with me wherever I went.

But another image came to mind when I turned the purple sphere that hung by my neck on two fingers.

_**FLASHBACK**_

"Aijou, you are late. You have missed dinner and we are about to gather in the large entrance hall to announce the new guardian of the jewel." He had a huge grin plastered on his face.

I remained focused on the task on hand. Years of mastering my powers finally came in handy. "Gomen, otou-san. I had something that required immediate attention."

"Whatever it was, it could not have been more important than attending our guests!" He whispered through gritted teeth, grabbed my arm harshly, and began moving us to the center of the great room.

He signaled for silence. "Esteemed guests, as all of you know, the reason for this great celebration was to appoint a new guardian for the Shikon no Tama that was entrusted to the temporary care of my daughter, Lady Kagome."

Everyone nodded and waited for his response. I put my hand on his forearm before he opened his mouth. He frowned but let me go ahead.

"After much consideration and after witnessing the capabilities of my sister miko, I have decided..." I turned to Hiro.

Then I surveyed the crowd for Aita. She was gazing anxiously at me. "I have decided to remain the guardian of the Shikon no Tama indefinitely." The look on her face was priceless.

She ran to the front. "You cannot do this! I am more than qualified for such a task! Besides, you are also a Hime, which requires that you keep the bloodline alive. You _must_ marry and have children. Such act will make _you_ impure and therefore incapable of remaining the guardian of the jewel! Surely, your Highness―"

I interjected, having to restrain my aura from rippling out like a plague. "The Shikon no Tama is not just any jewel. Its powers could tilt the balance of the world. You have not the skill OR spiritual training to guard such power. The jewel is an entity in itself. It houses the soul of my own okaa-san. Who better to protect her soul than her own daughter? But above all, as you so _elegantly_ put it," I smirked mockingly, "I am Hime and therefore _I_ decide. And my final decision is that the Shikon no Tama will remain with me until I die."

"Demo, my lord, you could probably see my―" she had turned to the emperor in a hopeless act.

"SILENCE!" He grew upset, but I knew that the anger was directed at the wrong person. This answer was not the one he had been expecting. "The hime has spoken and her word holds as much command as mine. If she says that the matter is closed, then, IT IS CLOSED."

We moved towards the crowd, when another voice from the opposite direction stopped us both. "Does that mean you are renouncing to your title as future empress?"

The emperor searched the individual who asked and found that such question from this particular person was to be expected. It was a cousin from Edo who could occupy the throne if I didn't decide to marry. "The matter could be assessed again in future years if my daughter so wishes. As for now, you do not have to worry about that, _dear_ nephew. I plan to live for _many_ more years. I could easily take another wife and sire more children who could take my place should Kagome-hime refuse."

_That shut him up!_

After another series of entertainment numbers, we sent our guests off. I was searching for Hiro when my father came from behind me and pushed me into the nearest room. He shut the door hard.

"YOU MADE A FOOL OF ME OUT THERE!" In all my years, I had never seen the anger reach his face. He'd always been good at hiding his emotions.

"You gave me two options. I chose one of those two. I do not see how that would count as 'making a fool out of you'." Showing my anger as well would only result in me loosing what little patience I had ever been able to harness.

"THAT WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE!"

"The _right choice_? And according to you, otou-san, what _is_ the _right choice_?"

"You marrying Lt. Hiroyaki." he said matter-of-factly.

I breathed slowly and counted to ten. "We have been through this, Tenno. If it were any other man, I would consider it. But we are talking about Hiro."

"The Lieutenant is better than any other man. I know him and trust him."

"The only reason you trust him is because you practically raised him! Still, the most important reason why I refuse and will forever refuse to marry Hiro is that he is in love with me."

"Kagome, that would make the marriage even a better one. I don't see how that is a problem. Many of our ancestors have entered a marriage with nothing but hatred. In time, you may come to love him as well."

"Onegai, otou-san. I need you to realize that I never have nor will ever love Hiro the way he loves me! He is like a brother to me."

"You will marry Hiroyaki, if not now, then later. This marriage will happen." He walked up to me and grabbed me gratingly by my chin. "And mark my words Kagome, you will enter this marriage willingly or by force!" He pushed my face and sat down away from me.

I felt tears forming in my eyes but before any could fall, he yelled from behind a pile of scrolls. "AND DON'T YOU DARE CRY! HAVE I NOT TOLD YOU ENOUGH TIMES THAT TEARS ARE A SIGN OF WEAKNESS?!"

"Hai, Tenno." The whispering words left my mouth with much anger. I left him alone and walked to my room.

When I had reached my 'cabin', I noticed that the door was slightly opened and a somewhat dim light escaped into the garden. I gathered strength from my surroundings and entered my room. There was a dark shadow by the corner.

"Gomen nasai. I never meant to go behind your back and decide on your life. I hope you can believe that." His voice was ridden of any emotion.

"I do. You and I are both being used here. You have nothing to apologize for." I moved closer to him. "But regardless you should have known better than to accept such offer."

"Why?" His voice betrayed his hurt and the stale smell of sake reached my nose.

"I know how you feel about me. I've _always_ known. And because I know, I have to be honest and true to you and myself." I turned him towards me and squeezed both his hands.

Trails of tears covered his face. "Am I that unworthy of your love?"

I swallowed the raw guilt that his words evoked. I released his hands and put my palms on his cheeks. "How could you think that I see you as anything less than my equal?"

"Then why won't you love me?" He looked into my eyes pleadingly.

"Because..." I bit my lip. _Because I may love an inu youkai named Sesshoumaru, who just happens to be the same human prince name Han that was here yesterday and that you couldn't stand!_ "Because I see you as a brother."

"Can you never see me as something more?"

"Iiee. Kesshite."

He removed my hands from his face and turned away from me. I waited for him to yell at me or do something. The awkward silence was too much. He was deep in thought when I decided to sit down on my futon.

"Promise me something then?"

"I'll try."

"Promise me that you will not push me away. That you will allow me to continue being by your side. And that if you one day, if ever, you decide to take a husband, that it will be me." It was an act of desperation, a single thread holding his sanity.

Could I promise him that? Could I truly marry him in some distant future? And if I did, would I think of Sesshoumaru when Hiro kissed me? Would I think of Sesshoumaru when we lay in bed next to each other? Would I think of Sesshoumaru when Hiro and I...when he and I...?

"Hai." The word had left my lips before I could really think. Little did he know that this conversation would one day change my life.

"Arigatou. I promise not to make you feel pressured at any time. I will be here whenever you reach out... always." He smiled warmly.

"I know. But for now I wish to be alone. I _need_ to be alone."

He nodded and exited, somehow managing not to fall on his way out.

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

And so I had made a promise to a man that I had no intention of keeping but that the Kami would make sure I keep even in death. I gazed up into the gray sky. I wanted to say so much. No one would hear me. No one but my ever-present _shadow_.

I chuckled at the irony. For the first time in my cursed life, I wanted someone to talk to and the only one here was _her._ "A lot of people know the surface side of me, the side they see while I'm working or just going through the day... but there's another side of me – an inside – that people never see. It's a part that's full of a thousand thoughts; a part that understands without need for words, a part that has yearnings and desires and prayers." I exhaled a weary sigh.

"The inside of me has so many moods that the outside never shows. For once in my life, though... I trust someone implicitly and I care about someone in a totally understanding way. I feel like its okay to let that someone in, to let them see me emotionally and physically as naturally and as naked as I can be. I have given myself to you and told you things that I've never told another soul..."

I hugged myself and inhaled sharply just a bit before I continued. "You are the one person who has seen me trembling and as fearful as an injured bird; you are the one person I always want to take with me when I feel exhilarated and my spirits are soaring. I trust you with my secrets, and you now know that you can trust me with yours. This sharing... this special sharing... is one of the nicest dimensions my life has ever known."

I closed my eyes and a flash of silver and red appeared before being replaced by the image of Sesshoumaru, smiling. I reached out and for a moment, just for a fraction of a second, I felt him near. I whimpered when the feeling of his presence dissipated. Yet my hand remained in the air, caressing his imaginary cheek.

Through chattering teeth and the enormous lump in my throat, I spoke once more. "I wish I could make you understand how much I feel for you. I am always seeking, but cannot find a way... I love in you a something that only I have discovered – the you – which is beyond the you of the world that is admired and known by others; a 'you' which is especially mine; which cannot ever change and which I cannot ever cease to love."

I gathered as much power left in me to offer a song to the heavens. A song that spoke for my heart.

Then, I slipped my hands inside the sleeves of the kimono. I said a prayer for my father, Lana, Kirara, Eriko and Sesshoumaru.

"_Hear me, oh Kami of the elements and quarters.  
I stand a child of the universe  
Plagued on all sides by those who wish me ill.  
I ask not that you change them,  
for their will is their own,  
But grant me strength,  
that I may shine in the light  
Growing in goodness  
in your service for Mankind. _

_Take my body as sacrifice,_

_Take me now." _

I wrapped my hands around the jewel and chanting the prayer again that would release my soul. I closed my eyes and let me body fall over the edge.

_Forgive me, okaa-san. But I cannot live like this anymore._

* * *

_As he raced across the land, a shudder rocked his entire form. It was a tremor that originated at the center of his soul and rippled to the outside. Something was wrong... way wrong! He increased his speed. Midway to his destination he was stopped by a mass of giant bird demons. The more he killed, the more appeared. It almost seemed an endless battle. With quick resolve, he used his own jyaki to extinguish his enemies. _

_Once more on his path, he slowed down near the foot of a mountain. As he looked around, he realized that this was the very mountain he was in just yesterday. He wanted to stop, but he knew he had to see Kagome before anything else could happen. If his calculations were right, she'd barely be leaving Kamakura for Nara._

_Sesshoumaru decided that it was best to take the sky and cover more ground that way. Besides it would be easier to spot the imperial entourage. His blue sphere surrounded him as he was lifted into the air. The smells up here were also much better, plus the snow helped clean any stench. _

_A certain scent stopped his further movement: gardenias._

_He made it up the mountain soundlessly. As he moved closer to his right, he heard the rush of the freezing water as it fell from the mountain and onto the glade he was so familiar with. Sesshoumaru also noticed that the greenery up here was much denser and sharper. There were sounds coming from the edge where the water fell._

_Kagome!_

_Several branches blocked his view. He carefully pushed down on some barks and was finally able to see her form entirely. He had to swallow hard. She looked tired and worn out, as if years of battling had finally taken their toll on her. She was smiling, a weak smile._

_He stood motionless when he heard her speak. It pained him to realize that she could harbor so much emotion and not share it with him. But what hurt him more was the way she described __**him**__. Whoever she had fallen in love with didn't deserve the pain that was etched in her perfect features. He had hoped all this time, that she would see through his actions and realize that no one could ever love her like he did._

_While he listened, he felt his own tears fall. However, what she did next left him more in awe. She walked closer to the edge and kneeled. She lifted her face and her aura flared with the anguish and misery pent up inside. Her melody traveled in the silent night as she began her song._

(A/N: I know that this song is in English, but it was just perfect for this scene. As always, for story purposes I ask that you "pretend" that Kagome sings it in Japanese. Thanks, guys!)

_**Cannot touch...**_

_**Cannot hold...**_

_**Cannot be together.**_

_**Cannot love...**_

_**Cannot kiss...**_

_**Cannot have each other.**_

_**Must be strong and we must let go...**_

_**Cannot say what our hearts must know.**_

_**How can I not love you?**_

_**What do I tell my heart?**_

_**When do I not want you**_

_**here in my arms?**_

_**How does one walk away**_

_**from all of the memories?**_

_**How do I not miss you**_

_**when you are gone?**_

_**Cannot not dream...**_

_**cannot share...**_

_**Sweet and tender moments.**_

_**Cannot feel**_

_**how we feel.**_

_**Must pretend it's over.**_

_**Must be brave**_

_**and we must go on.**_

_**Must not say what we've known all along.**_

_**How can I not love you?**_

_**What do I tell my heart?**_

_**When do I not want you**_

_**here in my arms?**_

_**How does one walk away**_

_**from all of the memories?**_

_**How do I not miss you**_

_**when you are gone?**_

_**How can I not love you... **_

_**when you are gone?**_

_Sesshoumaru fisted his hands at his sides. Every painful word in her song described the way he felt. He looked at her once more. Her face was in her hands, but that did not last long. She clasped her hands together in prayer. He heard her pray for his well-being and without another warning, Kagome fell over the edge._

_With no time to think, he jumped after her and was able to reach her. He landed softly and placed her on the ground. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest from the shock. He checked her over for any injuries. Unfortunately, he did find a small opening on her left temple._

"_Kagome? Daijoubou desu ka?" He tried to calm down, but the thought of loosing her was greater. He tried shaking her._

_He waited for an answer and got one when she moaned. He kept calling her name for several minutes until he decided to take her to his home. Afraid to lose her if she fell unconscious, he kept talking to her and felt her try to stay awake. He wasted no time and picked her up. Racing across the forest, he reached the edge and used one of the trees as lever to take the skies. During his run, he mulled over the idea of taking her to the Crescent Moon, but he knew that his father would blame him for this. _

_No. He needed to take Kagome somewhere peaceful and not where the Inu no Taishou and he would be biting their heads off every chance they got. So, without further thought, he changed direction to the Kuroi Hoshi. _

_When he arrived, he landed quickly on the garden and walked in through the back door. Most of the servants weren't surprised he came barging in. They, however, did stop to look when his voice called them._

"_TELL EVERYONE TO LEAVE THE GROUNDS FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS! HAVE THEM GO ANYWHERE EXCEPT TO THE CRESCENT MOON!" The many servants scattered and hurried past him, catching a glance of the hurt young ningen onna in his arms._

_Some of the servants stopped to take a good look at her and gasped when they recognized the miko. They had seen her help defend the Crescent Moon when the war broke out a year ago. They had come to respect the girl and now here she was again, injured – perhaps attacked for her allegiance to the Western Lands. A small inu female came up to him and gave him a closed pouch. "My lord, this will help lull the pain in her head. By the color on her face, I am almost positive that it was a mere scratch, but it will still hurt like hell when she awakens. Onegai, give her my regards." The servant bowed and walked out with the group that had surrounded the couple._

"_Make sure that my chichi-ue does not find out about this – any of it. And if you should encounter him, do not inform him that I am here." The servants cringed at the thought of lying to their lord. However, they understood that if word got out, Sesshoumaru as well as they would pay the consequences._

"_Hai, my lord." they cried in unison._

_Sesshoumaru hurried up the winding steps and slid the door to his room. He placed Kagome on his giant futon, careful not to cause her more pain. As she began to wake a little more, his anger returned. He could not understand how she could try to kill herself for someone who obviously didn't deserve her. If said male felt any kind of love for her, he would have prevented this._

_He faced her once more and called her name. She fluttered her eyelids, but her gaze remained unfocused. Sesshoumaru reached for a basin with water and a small cloth. He wiped her blood away and dried her afterwards. He tried to be as gentle as possible, but he was furious at her actions._

_After he finished he took the basin with red water and tossed it out the window. He remained there, willing himself to calm down for her. The only sound was the chattering of her teeth. Her clothes were soaked from the snow that had melted on her heated skin. Her voice both calmed him and increased his anger._

"_Why did you come?" she demanded, her voice as furious as his._

"_I was in the neighborhood." he replied coolly._

_She lifted herself and almost fell, but Sesshoumaru was able to reach her in time. She pushed him away feebly. He held her tighter. _

"_Let me go!"_

"_You're still hurt!"_

"_Like you care!" He released her and she stumbled a bit._

_Sesshoumaru glared at her. If she wanted to leave, he would let her leave. After watching her almost end her life for the imbecile she loved, he knew that no matter how much he pleaded, her heart already belonged to someone else. However, she would not go without telling him who she was in love with._

"_Who is he?"_

_She frowned and held her head. Kagome turned and reached for the door. He blocked her exit and grabbed her arms, pushing her back into the room. She pushed back._

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The echo of her screams bounced off the walls of her own head. She grunted in pain._

"_Who is he?" Sesshoumaru asked once more barely restraining his ever-growing jealousy._

"_WHO?"_

"_The bastard for whom you were so eager to take your life for!" He couldn't help the disgust that laced each word._

_A pitiful chuckle escaped her lips. "It doesn't matter anymore." She made for the door again._

_And again he stopped her. "It matters to me."_

_She was about to push him but remained motionless at his response. Kagome turned to him. "You're right. He is a bastard __**and**__ an idiot because he can't see what he has in front of him. He is too afraid of facing the world, so he decided to give up and run away. So what does it matter what his name is?"_

_He stared at her for a long time. He turned in his head her words, but they didn't help squelch his anger at that imbecile and at her. "But apparently he was worth dying for, was he not?"_

"_I seemed to think so. But now..." she closed her eyes._

"_But now what?" he mocked._

_She opened her eyes and stared at him disbelieving his words and his tone. Why was he doing this? Did he not know? She lowered her gaze and turned her back on him._

"_It doesn't matter anymore."_

_He reached her from behind and held her to him. "Dammit, Kagome!" She squirmed in his embrace, but he only tightened his hold on her. He buried his nose in her neck and took in her wonderful scent, whispering his plea. "Don't you realize that its killing me?"_

_Kagome felt confused. Why did he care if he didn't... if he couldn't...?_

"_Please, let me go!"_

"_I can't. Not until you tell me who he is."_

_She began to cry and he clung to her hoping that his embrace would somehow lessen her pain. It only pained him more to see her as weak and defenseless as a child. Kagome turned to face him, her eyes a bit swollen from lack of proper sleep. "Can't you see? Can you not tell who __**he**__ is? Are you that blind?" she spoke softly. Her eyes searched his in desperation._

_Sesshoumaru gazed at her trying to find the answers he was looking for. All he saw was pain. He gave up. "I can't tell."_

_Her pleading look turned to a glare. "Then, you are not worthy!" she spat with anger. "How can someone who does not know love see it?"_

_This caused his anger to rise once more. He pushed her against the wall and what came out of his mouth was something that even he did not expect. "You're saying I don't know true love? Oh, I know true love! And you want to know how?"_

_Through gritted teeth she answered, "No!" She didn't want to hear that he loved Michiru._

"_Well, I'm going to tell you anyways! I know because I am in love with a wonderful female. When we are not together... my thoughts drift alongside memories of her; things we've done, the way she smiles so brightly that helps me forget my worries and celebrates our wonders. My moods come into play more often and make me yearn for the strength I feel with her... the security I find in her eyes. I sometimes feel so very alone for myself and her... imagining her being without my loving feelings as I am without hers. My best wishes still go with her always, wishing to share in her excitements; wanting to comfort her hurts, needing to be reassured that she is keeping warm and well. And, when we're not together... I seem to spend time wishing that we were!"_

_She opened her eyes, which she did not know she had closed. Her tears ran down. "Why are you telling me this?!"_

"_Because..." he leaned in closer to her, right next to her ear, "because, that female... is you."_

_She remained. His words caused all her strength to finally fly out the window. She leaned her forehead in his chest and cried once more, but this time, her tears were tears of joy. Kagome clung to him._

_Sesshoumaru could not wait any longer. "Tell me who he is? It's killing me inside to know that that there is someone else. At least tell me his name?"_

* * *

"Because..." he leaned in closer to me, right next to my ear, "because, that female... is you."

My heart was ready to burst. I could not believe he just confessed this to me! I hugged him as if my life depended on his very presence. I let my tears fall freely, hoping with my all that he was really saying all this.

"Tell me who he is? It's killing me inside to know that there is someone else. At least tell me his name?"

I pushed him away to look into his eyes, taking his face in both my hands. "Sesshoumaru, look at me," he met my gaze. "I am and have always been in every thought of my heart, yours. You are that man. It always has been you and only you. Every day I live I discover more and more how impossible it is for me to live without you."


	39. Chapter 39

_**She thought I was not unworthy to lover her.**_

_**- Lord Byron, Stanzas Written on the Road Between Florence and Pisa**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 37**

_He met her gaze for a heartbeat, then leaned down to kiss her. It was a hot, deep, open mouthed, plundering kiss, the kind that knew they had no witnesses, not anyone likely to come looking for them – for her – for days. She needed to get out of there, to leave and protect her heart from the realization that he could be confused and thinking of Michiru. But if he was kissing her like that, some part of her reasoned, he couldn't be thinking of anyone else._

_Kagome kissed him back, heat searing down her spine and out along her fingers and toes. Her hands, already reaching back, sank into his damp, silver hair. She wondered whether other women felt so intoxicated, so overwhelmed by his attentions. He nudged her chin up and began a series of slow, warm kisses along her jaw line, and her breath became a fast, ragged pant. She couldn't get enough air, couldn't get close enough to him._

_The smell of her arousal reached his nose and he knew that after this, there would be no turning back. He wanted her and it was pretty evident. Her moans and heavy breathing were driving him insane. It took every ounce of his restraint to hold back and not throw her on the floor, drive into her hard until she could not walk anymore._

"_You're trying to keep me here?" she accused breathlessly, pressing herself against his damp chest._

_Sesshoumaru shook his head, looking away just long enough to reach out and close the shoji. "Would it be so bad?" he growled, slipping his fingers beneath the material at her shoulders and peeling the first layer of her kimono down her arms with aching, slow relentlessness. His mouth, tongue, and teeth followed, and he turned them so that she was once again pressed back against the wall. In a second he had her juban (short-sleeved wrap around shirt) open and he reached beneath the material to cover her breasts with his palms. Even through the thin muslin of her kimono, she felt the warmth of his touch, the pressure of his embrace, and she gasped._

"_Sesshoumaru, onegai," she practically whimpered, seeking his mouth again._

"_Please what?" he rumbled, pulling her forward against him to yank the juban off her arms and down to the floor. Like a skilled harpist playing the strings, his fingers ran down her back, and her kimono loosened. Nudging her back again, he stripped the material down to her elbows, imprisoning her arms in the muslin. Before she could answer or even do more than gasp again, he took the susuyoke, the only thing covering her front from his glittering golden gaze, in both fists and ripped it open._

"_Sesshoumaru, please―"_

"_Yes?" he breathed back, glancing into her eyes before his gaze returned to her breasts._

"_Sesshoumaru," she managed, then couldn't even breathe._

_He ran his fingertips across her breast, light but utterly ruthless, circling closer and closer until his thumbs crossed her nipples. They hardened beneath his touch, budding as he passed his nails back and forth across them._

"_Good hea... heavens."_

"_Your skin is so soft," he murmured, then lowered his face. "So soft."_

_With one hand, he continued to tease and mold her left breast, while he ran his lips and the tip of his tongue round her right one, following the path his fingers had blazed. When he took her nipple in his mouth, she thought she would faint right there. Kagome lifted her chin and closed her eyes, overwhelmed by sensation as he suckled first one breast, then the other. She couldn't move, didn't want to move, as heat spread down her body and deep between her legs. With her arms half pinned, all she could reach was his waist, and she clung to him, trying to draw him closer, wanting to be part of him._

_His mouth and hands left her breasts, and she opened her eyes again. "Don't stop," she begged, embarrassed at the keen wanting she heard in her own voice._

"_I won't," he returned almost soundlessly, taking the arms of her kimono and drawing them down her elbows, freeing her hands and then pushing the material down to her feet._

_Kneeling, he continued his slow destruction of her susuyoke, ripping it inch by inch to her waist. Every inch of her skin that he exposed, he covered again with his mouth. Downward, past her navel, traveling down her hips, - kissing the small maroon birthmark shaped like a butterfly adorning the lower left side of it –, past the dark patch of hair at the apex of her thighs, to her knees. _

"_Lift your foot," he instructed, and he slipped off her sock and geta, the kimono with it. Repeating the action with her other foot, he trailed his hands and mouth up again, up the insides of her thighs. And then he slipped a finger inside her._

"_Oh, Kami," she whimpered, her legs trembling._

"_You're wet," he murmured, licking his lips. "For me."_

"_Sesshoumaru."_

"_Shh," he continued in the same husky tone, standing, gliding his hands up along her body to her shoulders so he could push off the ruined susuyoke, sending it to the floor with the rest of her clothes. "I want you, Kagome. I want to be deep inside you."_

_Lifting her in his arms, he carried her the few feet to his futon and rumpled blankets, and knelt to lay her down there. He sat, turning sideways to pull of his haori and boots, wincing as the left one came free. "You're hurt," she said unsteadily, trying to blink back to reality._

"_My ankle is swollen," he answered, facing her again. "You'll pay for that in a minute." He had hurt himself when he sprinted and jumped after her._

"_I-"_

"_You've caused swelling elsewhere, as well." He undid his sash and with swift fingers unfastened the knots in his hakama. Shoving them down, he came free, erect and hard and very, very large._

"_Oh, my."_

"_Now you've seen your first and only naked male and aroused with wanting you," he continued, leaning over her, taking her breast in his mouth again and suckling hard. He settled between her knees, kicking off his hakama and spreading her legs as he brought himself closer to her, until the swollen length of him pressed against the inside of her thighs._

"_Sesshoumaru, please," she managed, reaching up around his hard, muscled shoulders to pull him closer, her heart pounding so hard and fast she thought she would die from it._

"_Please what? Say it, Kagome. I want to hear you say that you want __**me**__ inside of you."_

"_I want you inside of me." She had no idea what to do to make that happen, but her body knew. Arching her hips, she lifted toward him. "Please," she said again, "please, now."_

_Lifting onto his hands, he covered her lips with his again, teasing her mouth open with his tongue. She felt him slide slowly inside her, between her legs. "It will hurt," he murmured against her mouth, his own breath not quite steady. _

"_How-"_

_He pushed his hips forward. She felt him reach her barrier, then with a fast, tearing pain, break through and fill her. She shrieked, squeezing her eyes closed and arching against him, bending her knees harder. That brought him in deeper as he followed her retreat with his body. He held her to him, waiting, yet barely able to control himself as he nestled inside her. He murmured endearments, soothing her, and all the while fighting the guilt, wondering if he had made a mistake, gone too far, expected too much, been to impatient._

_Slowly the pain eased. He felt her smile, her lips against his chest. When she opened her eyes he was looking down at her from inches away, red-eyed, his face hard with tension. "Pain for pain," he whispered. _

_And then she... squirmed. "That feels so good," she sighed._

_He nearly choked. The shock lasted only a second, though, as the realization that she was not in pain crashed into him. Slowly he pressed forward again, deeper and deeper, until he was fully buried. "And now, pleasure for pleasure. We are going to take this very slowly. Very, very slowly."_

_Was he murmuring to her or repeating an injunction to himself? His lips brushed hers, then slid along her jaw until he nuzzled her throat. His hands pressed down into the mattress, easing beneath her. They traced down her back, caressing as they went. They stopped at her hips, closing possessively._

_He said nothing more, asked nothing more. It did hurt, but from the first touch of that incredibly soft skin at the entrance to her body, where she so longed to feel him, she knew she could not live without having him inside her ever again. The conviction was so strong that despite the discomfort, she tilted her hips to urge him in._

_He stilled, fingers clamping hard about her hips, anchoring her. "No – just lie still." The words were strained, uttered against her throat. He waited until she eased back before pressing inward once more. Slowly, steadily, he filled her. She felt her body stretching and marveled. Then he stopped. He lifted his head, found her lips, and kissed her deeply. She responded eagerly, breathless and yearning – quite for what, she was not sure. She had only an instant's warning – the sudden coiling tension that gripped him. He drew back and thrust into her._

_His experience led; she realized that when he finally lifted his head. He looked down at her, red eyes glinting. His expression was one she'd never seen before, set and locked, passion-driven. He searched her face – she had no idea what he saw, but it seemed to reassure him. Bending his head, he set his lips to hers. Her hands resting lightly on his shoulders, she gave herself up to the kiss, up to him. Then he moved._

_Until he did, the sensation of being so stretched, so filled, hadn't fully registered. As he withdrew, then returned, riding her slowly, the sensual realization impinged again and again. Her body stirred beneath him. She found his rhythm and matched him, rising to meet him. The effortless joining, the repetitive glide of his body into hers, became her reality. His body shifted against hers, crisp hair rasping her sensitized skin. She slowly heated as if he were fanning a furnace deep within her. Her senses swirled, whirled; the surge of his tongue into her mouth mirrored his possession of her body._

_She was his – her fingers tightened, sinking into the muscles of his upper arms. She held tight as the world fell away and only they remained, skin to heated skin. Desire lapped, a warm sea washing over them, through them. He said it would be slow – she'd sense no urgency, not at first. But something – some compulsion, some blinding physical need – was steadily swelling inside her. Something hot, tight, coiling inside her – with every thrust he touched it, stoked it, fanned the flames higher._

_Kagome drew back from the kiss with a gasp; pressing her head back, into the bed, she arched and struggled to breathe, struggled to urge him nearer. Deeper. She needed him there, deep and hard – suddenly she was sure of it. He rose up, arms bracing, lifting his chest from hers; his next thrust rocked her. She gasped again; her fingers trailed, nails sharp, down his chest. The smooth pale skin that brushed her palms contrasted and focused her mind on the feel of crisp hair rasping between her widespread thighs. Spreading her hands, she ran them over his ribs, then around – the heat inside her coiled tighter, almost painfully tight - she rose, hands sliding to his back, then clinging tight as she lifted her lips to his._

_He took them in a kiss that was almost savage – his weight shifted. He leaned on one arm, his other hand curving over her bottom, tucking her hard against him, holding her there as he thrust deeply – again, again. The heat inside her exploded; her lower body clenched. A silvery sensation, brittlely intense, speared through her, and then the spasm dissolved in a burst of glory. A river of feeling welled and washed through her, soothing away her compulsive heat, leaving a different warmth in his place. She clung to him and rode the warm tide._

_Sesshoumaru laid her down, then followed, but he rolled onto his side, then onto his back, taking her with him. She ended sprawled atop him with him still hard within her. She'd melted – she couldn't move. Resting her head on his chest, she lay and luxuriated in heavenly delight. How much time passed before her wits reengaged and she realized she still lay naked atop him, with his hand lazily, yet somehow intently, stoking her naked bottom, she didn't know. The realization was suddenly there, along with another – he was still hard within her, filling her. His body was still strung tight with that tension she now recognized. He hadn't..._

_Kagome lifted her head and looked into his face. He studied her eyes, then raised a brow. She blushed, grateful he could barely see it in the moonlight. "What now?" Presumably there was a next step._

_His lips curved, his red eyes glinted. "I did say we'd take it slowly."_

_Her skin was still heated, dewed where he caressed; in contrast, the air felt cool. She had felt relaxed to her toes, but tension was returning along with her wits. She licked her lips. "What does that mean?"_

_His wicked smile flashed, showing his perfect white fangs. "It's easier to demonstrate."_

_He reached down and curled his hands around her thighs. He tugged, and she let him bend her knees up, shift her and mold her – she ended sitting astride him, knees bent, calves tucked to his flanks, hand on his chest, looking down at him. His face held more pain than smile as he lifted her hips slightly, then let her sink down again._

"_Oo-oooh." Exhaling slowly, she closed her eyes and let her head fall back._

"_Does that hurt?"_

"_Hurt?" Opening her eyes, she looked down at him. She couldn't find words to describe how it felt. "It doesn't hurt."_

"_Good." He lay back, sinking deeper into the bed beneath her. "So do it again."_

_She did, lifting up without his help, although his hands still rode her hips, guiding her. He would let her rise only so far before he stopped her. She sank down and watched his lids fall, watched desire deepen in each pore of his face. A new eagerness gripped her – she rode him slowly, concentrating on the feel of him pressing into her softness, concentrated on caressing him like that. It took everything in Sesshoumaru to relinquish control for inu youkai were beings that lived for dominance. But for her..._

_The tension investing his body increased; she felt it though her hands, through her thighs – saw it in his face. She was heating too. His hands left her hips to close over her breasts; his fingers played – her urgency grew. _

_Sesshoumaru was beyond reason, beyond ecstasy, at this moment. Then he rose beneath her and brought his mouth to her breasts. Sharp sensation speared her; she nearly died. Nearly saw rapture again. She clung desperately to her wits as he laved, sucked, teased. The wet spots felt cool against her burning skin._

_One hand returned to her hip – he gripped and slowed her. Slowed her until she was nearly frantic, mindless with the need to take him deeper, harder, faster. She spread her thighs and pressed down on him. She rose again – he halted her and pressed her down. And took one turgid nipple into the hot wetness of his mouth and suckled. She cried out and plunged down, pressed him high inside her. Her world came apart, fragmenting into glimmering shards of rapturous wonder. They penetrated her skin, spread, and melted, until she was a mass of glowing heat with him hard and vibrant at the core. With a sob, she put her arms, around his shoulders, held his head to her breast, curled herself around him, and clung tight._

_Gradually he moved back, drawing her down with him. His breathing was harsh in her ear. Every muscle in his body was locked tight._

_How wonderful she was, and perfect. Intelligent. Creative. Passionate. Desirable. _

_Special beyond special._

"_Doushite?" She whispered the word against his skin._

_Sesshoumaru lay beneath her and couldn't think enough to form a coherent thought. "I wanted you more than once, but..." He lost the thread. She was hot and so tight around him. He brushed a kiss to her temple. "In a moment." His voice was a gravelly rumble, almost hoarse with need._

_He'd wanted her more than once, but she'd been untried, untutored. If he'd had his wicked way with her, he'd have had her many times, and she'd have cursed him in the morning. Instead, once inside her, he'd stayed deep, moderating the length and thus the force of his thrusts to minimize the abrasion and pressure to her delicate flesh. So he'd been able to enjoy having her come apart in his arms with him sunk inside her twice... thus far._

_Lifting her, he withdrew from her, sliding from beneath her. She murmured, tried to clutch and hold him. He soothed her with a kiss along her back. "You have to do all I say, alright?"_

_She slumped onto her stomach. She hated taking orders, but right now..._

"_So what should I do?"_

_He reached for a pillow. "Absolutely nothing. It's my turn now."_

_She lay boneless and let him lift her hips and stuff the pillow beneath them. He knelt between her legs and bent one of her slender limbs, nudging it to the side, knee almost level with her waist. Then he touched her, leaned over her, and slid home. Her breath fell from her in a gasping moan._

"_Did that hurt?"_

_For one moment, Kagome felt her body stiffen. How she hated the feeling of someone breathing down her neck! Shutting her eyes tight, she pushed the horrible sensation and the haunting images away, trying to concentrate on the wonderful man that was kneeling behind her. The man that loved her for who and what she was. The one that didn't make her feel like a slave._

_She shook her head and pressed back against him. He took what she offered, sinking deeper into her body. Arms braced, he lowered his head and dropped a kiss on her neck. "Just lie still and let me love you."_

_She did – he would have thanked her if he'd been able to form the words. Instead, he thanked her with his body. She lay hot, naked, and completely open before him; he filled her, his hips pressed to her firm derriere, the smooth hemispheres, glowing palely in the moonlight. The curves caressed him, her body welcomed him, enclosing him in slick, sweet heat. The gardenia scent heightened by her arousal rose and wreathed through him; he drew it deep, and felt the beast within him slip its leash._

_Beneath him, he felt her stir. She didn't move, but her body tightened about him. He reacted instinctively, pressing his hips to her bottom, thrusting deep, rotating just enough to lift her hips in a roll. She caught her breath and pushed back, then eased down again. He gritted his teeth, withdrew further, held back, then filled her slowly. He sank home, rolled, withdrew – she moaned._

_Filled with feminine entreaty more primitive than words, the sound shredded his much-tried control. He let his youkai take control, unable to hold it back any more. He rode her hard, plunging even deeper; she met him, urging him on. He'd meant to be gentle, but she was wild and reckless – he responded in the same way._

_She shattered beneath him in a climax so intense he felt it in his bones. She spasmed so hot and tight about him, he thought he'd lost his mind. He bit down on her neck marking her as his, lapping at the flowing blood that was now his life. Her blood surged through his veins and he felt the tremendous power that came with it. And then he came, howling his pleasure for all to hear, lost in paradise. Lost all touch with reality as he lost himself in her. Lost his soul to her heat, lost his heart to her._

_Guided by his instincts, he flipped her over and using one of his claws, he made a cut above his collarbone. He reached down to cup her head and guide her. Until now, he hadn't noticed that her eyes were flashing between silver and lavender. But as soon as her hungry eyes fell on the dripping blood, she latched on to him and bit down instinctively. He growled softly in response sealing the mating mark upon both._

_He'd meant to draw it out longer, punish her with his mounting, but when she'd come, pulling him in and pulsing so tight around him, he hadn't been able to hold back. He didn't lose control like that; not him, and not after all this time. No female made him feel that way. But __**she**__ did. And he knew now what his youkai had known since it initially laid eyes on her: she was and would forever be the one perfect mate for him._

_Good Kami! If that was what bedding a proper virgin was always like, he'd been missing out._

_He withdrew and snuggled against her, her head upon his shoulder and keeping his other arm across her slender waist. His mind didn't want to function yet, but his youkai knew it didn't want her getting away from him. Not until they figured out some things. And not until he'd figure out what he needed to do next, beside make love to her again. Repeatedly._

"_You marked me."_

"_Did you not want me to?"_

"_After this, I would have killed you if you didn't," she said, still a bit out of breath._

"_Good." He lifted himself on one crooked elbow. "Now, before we continue," he said, loving the surprise in her face, "while I must admit that I almost did the same thing, why were going to kill yourself? If it was for me, let me tell you now, that I am not worth it. Your life is too important."_

_She smiled, delicate fingers reaching up to trace his jaw. And he realized just what a perfect and open smile it was. It warmed him to know that she only smiled for him. "You are worth my life and so much more. But I was not going to kill myself." He crinkled his brows in confusion. She continued. "It is a ritual performed by miko that involves the separation of the soul from the body in offering to save something of value to the miko. In this case, I offered my soul in exchange for the disappearance of the jewel from this world."_

"_You made a wish on the jewel?" he asked still confused._


	40. Chapter 40

_**Gone were the terrors of her awful brow**_

_**Her idle aegis bore no Gorgon now**_

_**- Lord Bryon, Curse of Minerva**_

**CHAPTER 38**

* * *

He went utterly still above me, his mouth open in a howling growl, and then he collapsed, the weight of him pressing me farther into the futon. I felt his youkai slowly receding.

He slowly lifted himself and turned, taking me with him, holding close, and wrapping his arms around me from behind. He made an opening close to the junction between his shoulder and neck and let me bite down on him, placing my own mark upon him. The taste of his blood brought foreign images - a hole in the ground, the Goshinboku and an arrow - which came and went just as easily. On the cusp of oblivion, I felt him within me, hot and liquid at my core. With my hands, my arms, my body, I held him tight. If I was his, then he was mine. And he'd definitely lived up to my dreams.

Then he asked about the jewel and he listened carefully as I spoke, "No. I was going to use my own powers to send it to the Kami. My soul would have been the payment for their acceptance."

"Sou ka (I see)."

I used my hands to bring his face closer and kiss him, pouring into the kiss the depth of my love for him. He kissed me back and growled softly while doing so. He broke the kiss only to continue it down to where his mark had now closed. He placed a light kiss on it.

"We've lost so much time because of our pride. I only wish we could have been completely honest with each other since the beginning."

He continued his exploration of my body. "What's important now, is that we're together and that no living creature will be able to keep me from you ever again, my tennyo."

I chuckled, at both his reply and his caresses. "Speaking of which, that is quite a unique birthmark. Have you noticed how it perfectly formed to make the shape of a butterfly?"

I had to chuckle again. "Hai. My okaa-san once told me that all in her family were born with the familiar shape."

"Interesting," he whispered, a smirk playing across his beautiful face.

"Sesshou," he looked up at me. I put on a serious face. "What are we going to do about our parents? We both know that they will never accept us... I don't―"

"Shh," he put a finger to my lips. "We'll deal with that when the time comes. For now, we'll have to keep it a secret between us."

"And Ujio, and Juro and Lana and―" I stopped before I said 'his' name. I couldn't tell Sesshoumaru about 'him' yet.

He frowned and leaned closer to my face, our noses almost touching. "And who else?" And were it not for the lack of light, I could have sworn I saw fear in his eyes.

I really didn't want to keep anything for him. "There is someone else in my life."

He met my gaze, searching, for what, I was not sure. "Someone... else?"

I nodded slowly.

"A... man?" He seemed frail and his entire composure seemed to be held only by my next words.

"This person was one of the three, until you came along, most important in my life. My life revolved completely around this individual."

He began to pull away but I reached for his hands. "Sesshou, you are the only one I want to be with. What I feel for this person and you are completely different. This is my secret and I have guarded it with my life. I need time to prepare this person for you. Please don't hate me for this and don't push me away. In time, I will tell you who exactly it is." I sat up and hugged him.

It took a few seconds for him to respond, but he put his arms around me and pulled me on his lap. "I know. I will give you all the time you need. Just remember that it is natural for me to feel protective at the possibility of another male in your life. Inu youkai are very possessive of what they know is theirs and will fend off anything that they feel threatened by – to death."

I smiled and traced my hands on his back. "You won't have to fight anything or anyone for me. For one thing, I can defend myself, thank you very much. And," I slid my hands even lower, whispering seductively in his ear, "Secondly, I'm already yours."

* * *

"_I'm already yours."_

_He responded to the long artful caress with a low, murmurous growl. Closing his arms around her, he laid down on his back, urging her across him. She followed his lead, quite content to sprawl atop him. _

_Much easier to explore from there._

_Wriggling until she straddled his hips, knees bent, calves gripping along his hips, she braced her arms, palms flat on his chest, and lifted up – so she could survey her prize. Fingers splayed, she pressed, glorying in the resilience of muscle, the solid resistance of bone. Then she softened her touch and went searching, caressing lightly, then lovingly, across the broad muscles, down over his ribs, across the ridges of his abdomen. Only her position stopped her from reaching further, but she had all night._

"_You have no imperfections." Her comment reeked with satisfaction._

"_No. My youkai blood heals over time any scars left during battles." He skimmed his palms down her back. "I don't think I can stop touching you ever again."_

_He was well aware that, contrary to him, her body still had small scars from her battles. Yet, the scars only served to escalate the pride he felt in having her as his mate. Abruptly, he rolled over and tucked her beneath him. Sesshoumaru pulled back to look at her. He stared down at her face, his breathing ragged, his eyes red pools. They searched her face, her eyes._

_He gasped._

_Her beautiful lavender eyes were shifting between lavender and a hint of silver again. At the moment, he did not wish to know why, but later, much later, he would inquire. She looked steadily back at him, her pulse racing, her breathing fragmented. He reached down again as if to kiss her, but held off with less than an inch between their lips. Her aura was shifting, calling out to his youkai, trying to blend itself with his own._

"_I'll never leave you Kagome. My life would cease to exist. I'll always answer your call."_

_He'd done this before; he knew how he would show it to her. He stood from the futon and pulled the sheets away. She lay naked and let him look. He couldn't seem to look away as he gazed at the perfection that had come into his life. He knelt back down on the futon, first one knee, then the other. A ripple of excitement shivered down her spine as he crawled on all fours to come over her. Then slowly he lowered himself next to her, exhausted and for the first time feeling utterly complete._

* * *

_Sesshoumaru's eyes opened sometime during the night. There was a part of him that was scared that it all had been a dream. That Kagome was somewhere off with the idiot kid. He turned to this left, slowly, praying that his tennyo was sleeping soundlessly next to him._

_She was in deep slumber. Her beautiful face for once looked completely at ease. Her back was completely bare to him. His gaze traveled down her perfect creamy neck to the luscious curves of her right buttock. There were several scars on her back that looked like remains of lashings. He frowned. What could have possibly caused those?_

_Kagome stirred momentarily, murmuring something in some strange language but quickly went back to sleep. A smile played across his face. He caught himself before he chuckled. Not so much because he might awake her, but because of how much she had changed him. If anyone would have told Sesshoumaru that he would fall for a human woman, he would have killed them for even thinking of such idiocy._

_However here he was. Not only in love with a human woman, but ready to kill any who would wish to do her harm. He reached out to cover her from the wind coming in from the half-closed balcony doors. As soon as his skin came in contact with hers, her entire body flashed a vibrant blue while her lips, nails, and hair turned black. A black butterfly glowed between her brows and then disappeared. An instant later Kagome appeared normal._

_What in the world? Never had he seen such a thing. Had his marking caused it?_

_Swallowing hard he gently poked at her back. Her breathing was normal. She was completely unconscious. Drawing up the warm blanket, he covered her and watched as she drew in slow breaths. While she slept, he traced the shape of her lips, the length of her nose. Her features were soft and flawless. Like her body. He didn't understand why she had compelled him in the first place. _

_Stubborn and strong-willed, he'd always claimed no female could or would ever dominate him. Yet as he looked at Kagome resting, he wondered at the strange emotions he felt for her. They were unlike anything he knew any youkai should feel. His kind only felt protectiveness, respect and a gratitude for loyalty towards their mate. What Kagome evoked in him was far beyond any of these things._

_He liked the way she talked to him. The way she held him and made him react to her touches and licks. Most of all he loved the way she tasted when he had fed from her._

_Her blood was so different. The raw power in it was so overwhelming. Even now he felt it run through him and it almost made him feel invincible. It was almost laughable. Despite the great power she possessed, as an inu youkai, he was far more powerful than her._

_Snuggling closer, Sesshoumaru wrapped himself around her and let sleep take its course._

* * *

_The electricity around the cell was sizzling. All three beings felt the change in the air. The two eldest had been conversing about mundane things while the third was drawing circles on the loose dirt. They stared at each other with those red eyes as they realized their pet had done something they were sure they were not going to like._

_But as always, keeping a tight and complete hold on her was practically impossible. Even they didn't possess as much power. That was why they needed her._

_The youngest stood. "She's found the Source." The unearthly voice quivered slightly at what that could mean for all of them._

"_No. She's inadvertently found a way to the Source," responded the eldest and leader of all three. He was always calm despite the circumstances._

"_But I can already feel the change! At any moment she could- "_

_It was pushed roughly against the wall. "Calm down, Brother. We still have a hold on the miko. As long as she remains in the dark about her origin and believing everything we say, we have her at our mercy. She will continue to be our slave. Our will is forever hers." _

"_Besides, even if she did find out – which she won't – there is no possible way that she could reach the Source. It's far beyond her. We have complete control over this thanks to you. Remember that it was you who brought her here," was the reply of the one that had been quietly watching the two of them from across the cell._

"_I know that. But she is here precisely because she _had found _the Source. The miko is no fool. Our time is quickly running out and we have yet to reach our goal." _

"_Dear 'Mael. Have I ever told you that you seriously underestimate me? Kagome will lose as she always has. Arik is right. This time around, Kagome will finally fall never to rise again. And those youkai that are sniffing around her will meet the same fate. So stop your whimpering."_

"_Yes, my Prince," whispered 'Mael reverently._

"_Good. Now, , where were we?"_

* * *

I awoke to find myself high in the futon. His head against my breast, his arms wrapped around my waist, he was a warm solid mass of muscle trapping me mostly beneath him. I was curiously comfortable and not in the least tired – presumably what had been left of the night's and part of this morning's rest had been enough. I felt relaxed. No specter of death could possibly haunt me, not in his bed. Raising one hand, I lifted a silver lock from his forehead, smoothing it back amid the rest.

I felt a smile slowly working up its way on my face. He was absolutely beautiful. He made me feel human, right here right now with him. I wanted so much to tell him how he'd made me feel. I stared down at him.

_Shizukesa ni obieru koneko no you ni hosoku ku no ~ The silence frightens me, I cry weakly like a kitten_

_Beddo no umi e to fukaku shizumu ~ Sinking into the sea of my bed_

_Watashi wo yonde koe wo kikasete ~ Call me, I want to hear your voice_

_Kaze ni nabiku kami yureru sono hitomi ~ Your hair floating in the breeze, your eyes_

_Kono mama toki ga tomareba ii no ni ~ I wish time would stop now_

_Konna ni ai shitemo ~ Even though I love you so much_

_Ima wo kasaneru hodo kowaku naru no ~ I get more afraid as the moment goes on_

_Itsuka samete yuku seitaku na serifu ja naku ~ I don't want lavish words I'll get sick of someday_

_Kokoro wo tsunagu eien ga hoshii ~ I want our hearts to be joined for eternity_

_Tsukarete nemutta kodomo no you na negao daite ~ I embrace your face as you sleep, you like look a tired, sleeping child_

_Donna yume ima miteru no? __~ What are you dreaming of now?_

_Dakishimeru dake surinukete yuku ~ As long as you hold me I can make it through_

_Sonna ki ga shite namida ga afureta ~ When I got that feeling my eyes filled with tears _

_Konna mama toki ga tomareba ii no ni ~ I wish time would stop now_

_Konna ni aishitara yasashisa ijou ni ubatte shimau ~ Loving someone this much takes so much more tenderness_

_Itsuka uso ni naru yakusoku wa kuchi ni shinaide ~ Don't make promises that will become lies someday_

_Futari wo tsunagu eien ga hoshii ~ I want us to be joined for eternity_

_Futari wo tsunagu eien ga hoshii ~ I want us to be joined for eternity_

He stirred, tensed for an instant, then, eyes still closed, hugged me and placed a deliberate kiss on the nipple all but against his lips. "Very nice."

I laughed. He sounded like a very large neko youkai, purring with masculine satisfaction. Shifting, he freed a hand from beneath me, then settled back, head cradled on one breast, his hand on the other. He touched me gently, soothingly – not so much with desirous intent as for sensual comfort. I had no difficulty making the distinction.

Content, I lay back, luxuriating in the warm caresses, in the golden glow of the moment that still held us. Fingers stroking his hair, I set my mind free – free to feel, to think. To wonder. "I think I love you." It had to be that, this golden feeling.

The lazy drift of his fingers ceased. "Why aren't you sure?"

I answered truthfully. "I don't know what love is." Lifting my head, I peered at his face. "Do you?" He met my gaze, eyes dark, mysterious. Then he looked at his fingers, lying on my breast, and started to gently stroke once more. I smiled and leaned back on the pillows, my gaze lost in the shadows of the ceiling above. I didn't press for an answer. If I wasn't quite sure, why would he?

Then again... "Do you love me?" I didn't look down but I felt him look up when I asked this.

After a moment, he said, "Can't you tell?"

"No."

I waited. He shifted, lifting his head, moving back just a little. I felt his gaze on my face; it lingered for some time, then swept down, over my breasts, over my waist, over my hips, down my legs. It returned, but stopped at the top of my thighs. The hand at my breast firmed. His touch changed.

"I'll have to demonstrate, then."

"Demonstrate?"

"Hn. Inu youkai are better with actions than with words."

He proved it. Midday became a heated odyssey through realms of passion, desire, sensation, anticipation, hunger, and need. He drew from us both and created the landscape, then guided me through it, ever onward to peaks gilded with ecstasy. Each touch became invested with more than just feeling, each joining with more than the physical fact. Sensations battered at them, emotions drove us, onward, upward, to impossible bliss.

At last, I shattered and drank it in, and felt it sink into my bones. A heartbeat later, he joined me. We clung, and the wave washed over us, through us, then the tension slowly drained. My lips curved. I leaned my forehead to his. He traced my face then touched his lips to mine in a chaste, final kiss.

Our pact was sealed and our love was finally confessed.

Giddy with release, relaxed beyond this world, we slumped together, drew the sheets up, and slept in each other's arms.

* * *

**Hi, guys (peaking from behind the couch)!**

**As all of you can see, I am still here and willing to continue. I want to first thank all of you who have been patiently waiting for the update on my baby. Thanks for those encouraging messages that have let me know that I still have avid readers. And a very special thanks to Gentlefist for becoming my new beta.**

**And well, I want to apologize because I did promise that it would be no more than three months for the next update. However, so many things have happened that have put my hard work to a stand still. Most people would just leave it at that, but I want all of you to know that your support throughout the time I have been posting means so much. And that is why I want to explain what happened.**

**A month and a half (October) after our move (Keshiro (my hubby) and I) to Mexico, I was overcome by a horrible pain in my stomach. I have always been prone to stomach illnesses, and so I thought it was something that would come and go. It usually never lasts more than a few hours but this time it had already been two days. Keshiro became really worried (I always tell him that he overreacts!) and wanted to take me to the emergency room. I told him to go to work and that I would call him should it worsen, thinking that nothing would happen. Nevertheless, it proceeded to cause me incredible pain that I finally caved into Keshiro's pleadings and I let him take me to the doctor for a check-up. After so many tests (which surprisingly showed I was fine) and a pat on the back the doctor sent me home. Keshiro was by now beyond angry and took me to the emergency room where they immediately sent me to surgery for an appendectomy. The surgeon, a friend and co-worker, practically scolded me like a little child for not realizing the symptoms and letting so much time pass by. And so that led to a month (mostly because I would not stay still) of bed rest and Keshiro dotting over me and worrying about every little thing. He wouldn't even let me touch my laptop to continue working on my baby. That was really overdoing it. Of course, I'm not complaining about my wonderful hubby – I'm always thanking God for bringing him into my life!**

**By the first week of November, I was back to work. And it was only natural that given my supervisor position, there was a sky-high stack of paperwork on my desk, meetings that had been cancelled and which needed to be re-scheduled, and employee files that needed approval and signing. That, of course, left little to none of free time for my own. I would get to work at 5am just to leave at 10pm, when my actual working hours were from 8am-3pm. Not taking in mind that I had to drive an hour and half to get to work! I barely saw Keshiro and my own health started to deteriorate again. That lead to many arguments with Kesh about my well-being.**

**When December came around, my boss approved my petition for a personal assistant. I called Kesh immediately and as you guys might guess, Keshiro was thrilled and virtually put up an altar for the guy! I felt extremely guilty the entire day when Kesh said, "I'm just thankful that you will now have time to continue with your story and I'm going to get more than an hour to spend with you, koishii!"**

**He had even prepared a special dinner to celebrate back at the apartment.**

**All the time, I had been thinking about continuing my story that I had not thought about all those hours Kesh had spent doing everything around the house, running work-related errands for me, doing his own work and taking care of me. So, I asked for three weeks off from work. I worked my butt off, working on my 2009 agenda for the next few days. With everything done ahead of time, I bought two cruise tickets for the Greek Islands. That day I got home and surprised Kesh! He made arrangements at work and even convinced the people from the city to finally approve the last of the paperwork for a deed to a property we had been filing for since we arrived. **

**Unfortunately, two days later, Keshiro was involved in an accident. At 7:03am, a drunk truck driver lost control of his semi and crashed into Keshiro. It was 7:45am on December 23 when I got the call from the police. When I got to the hospital, Keshiro was in surgery. The nurse informed me that he had three broken ribs, a punctured lung, a massive head injury, a broken arm, several bruises and that they had already lost him twice on the way to the hospital. The nurse tried to keep my mind occupied by having me fill out the insurance paperwork. Even my family tried to keep me distracted. But all I could think about was Keshiro. Would that morning be the last time I would see him smile? Would it be the last time I heard his horrible singing in the shower? Would I ever hear him arguing with me because I liked to go around the house barefoot? All those little things kept running around my head. I thought I was going to kill someone when it was already midday and no one would tell me anything about my husband. By 2:27pm that day, the surgeon, Octavio, came out. It turned out to be the same surgeon that did my appendectomy. Octavio looked exhausted and grim. I felt like my world fell apart at that moment. However, he quickly reassured me that the surgery had gone well. Although Keshiro was still unconscious he had fought the whole time and had been moved to ICU. Instant relief washed over me.**

**Some moments later, I was allowed to enter his room. The minute I entered the room, I fell my courage fly out the window when I saw all the tubes and machines that were attached to him. He looked so ashen, so weak and utterly vulnerable. I sat by his side trying not to cry as I talked to him, letting him know how much I loved him and that I would not give up on him.**

**It was five days later when he awoke. I never really understood how much I had come to depend on him and how little I was without him until his gaze met mine and he weakly squeezed my hand. All those days that I had held my tears back, finally gave way and I cried for almost an hour. **

**Keshiro has been home (in our new home) for almost a week now and I now understand what he must have felt when I was in surgery. Just the thought of losing him, is more than I can bare. I try not to think about it. Still, its something that will continue to haunt me for some time. He understands. And well, with him back at home and sitting next to me, I feel that everything is once again back to normal. So I know all of you will understand when I don't update as often. Everything will take a hundredth seat compared to my Keshiro, as it always has.**

**And so, that is what happened. **

**Oh! Before I go, I want to thank for letting me know about someone posting my story on Fanlib. I had heard from another reader some time ago that she had seen my story on this particular site, however, I hadn't had the time to look for it and had forgotten about it. But now, I'm thankful that she let me know. **

**I just want to ask all of you, if it is not too much to ask, that you let me know if you see my story posted on any site other than Fanfiction, Mediaminer, or A Single Spark. PLEASE! No one likes to see their work taken and passed as someone else's.**

**Until, the next time guys. Take care!**


	41. Chapter 41

"_**The smiles that win, the tints that glow, **_

_**But tell of days in goodness spent, **_

_**A mind at peace with all below, **_

_**A heart whose love is innocent!**__**"**_

_**- Lord Byron, She Walks In Beauty**_

**CHAPTER 39**

* * *

When we awoke, the first thing out of my mouth was, "I have to go."

Unfortunately, rack my brains though I did, I could recall no teachings on the etiquette of leaving a man's bed. With my back turned to him, I glanced sideways at his face, half buried in the pillow. Only one of his eyes was visible; it opened and regarded me – far too intently for my liking.

"You haven't yet taken a bath nor had something to eat. It's important after such strenuous activities." I glared at him when he smiled mischievously. "Plus, we still need to talk about what we are going to do."

"I'm not hungry, and it's nearly sundown. I have to get through your lands and I have several days ahead of me. If you come in a few days, I will have formed a plan by then."

He didn't lift his head – he just shook it. He looked stunningly handsome with his silver hair rumpled; _had I done that?_ My fingers itched. "I was going to talk to you while we bathed but the present situation has a great deal to recommend it in terms of extracting information."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that you won't be leaving this bed until we've figured out how we are going to go about this."

"Don't be stupid – I have to leave before your household gets up. You won't want your servants to know I'm here."

_Aahh, nothing more refreshing than the old, bitter Kagome! Joy!_ Sesshoumaru shrugged. "If I don't mind, why should you?"

* * *

_Sesshoumaru shrugged. "If I don't mind, why should you?" He was mated to her; in the circumstances, everyone turned a blind eye._

_Kagome stared at him, blank-faced, then her eyes flashed. "Well, I __**do **__mind!"_

_She tried to push his arm from her. He sighed and turned – and drew her into his arms. She quieted. He rolled until she lay on her side, all but nose to nose with him, his arms locked around her, her legs tangled with his, his erection pressed to her soft belly. He looked into her eyes. "In that case, you'd better start talking."_

_Her expression was impossible to read; only her lavender eyes, still wide, still lustrous with lingering satiation, showed her awareness of his state. Of his unstated threat. Her lips firmed, obstinate to the end._

_He held her gaze and waited, while the sun sat._

_Kagome capitulated. "We're going to have to be very careful. Youkai and miko were not meant to have this. Quite frankly I didn't think it was possible that such unions could occur." She paused and inhaled his calming scent. "I, of course, won't be able to keep it from Lana, so that is out of the question. And knowing the bond you have with your brothers, I doubt they'll be left out of the loop. Kirara is a youkai herself and will be the first to know once I return. Then there's also the matter of the child." Kagome sighed, hopelessly. "Let's just try and keep the details out."_

_He chuckled a bit on her last words but nodded before he kissed her nose. She continued. "I guess that for now, that's all we can do," Kagome closed her eyes. "I don't understand how something that is supposed to be so wrong, can feel so right."_

_Sesshoumaru bent his head and touched his lips to hers. "We'll find a way to be together without the persecution. I promise." The comfort in this tone, in his touch, wiped away all fears._

_Dazed and blinking though she was, she lifted from the futon. Her susuyoke was at her feet; she swiped it up. Crossing his arms behind his head, he lay back and watched her. She put on her socks, then raced across the room and grabbed her juban. Neither susuyoke nor juban had ties to them anymore. Horrified, she turned to him, arms wide, demonstrating. He raised a brow._

_She glared, picked up her kimono and cloak, and shrugged into them. She was stopped by a clawed hand and pushed into a room with a hot spring. He closed the door just in time to hear her curse him when she fell in the water. He went out of the room and into his parents' room to look for one of his mother's kimono._

_When he returned, he remembered to get some bandages from one of the armories in his bedroom to put on her head injury. The thought gave him pause. He lifted the sheets from his futon and looked down. Blood spotted both sheets. _

_His lips curved in a wicked smile. He closed his eyes and let his mind revisit last night and this morning._

* * *

After much bickering, mostly on his behalf, and after we bathed, Sesshoumaru cooked some meat and served it to me with a bit of oden. It touched a foreign part of me that he would be considerate enough to remember to cook it before feeding it to me. We both ate in peaceful silence, but the recent events had the wheels in my head turning. It was funny how only yesterday I thought of nothing but to leave this world and now...

Well, now... all I wanted was to live... mainly for him. In a small part, back in the darkest recess of my soul, I felt a small stab. I ignored it.

I looked around while he packed some food for my journey back home. And for the first time in several hours, I realized that the place was completely void of life. I pushed myself off from the floor and sought out with my aura anything alive.

_Nothing._

Just at the precise moment when I was going to seek him out, Sesshoumaru walked into the dining area and gave me a packed bundle. "Here. This should last about two or three days. Just make sure you are on the look out at all times." He gave a deep sigh and frowned. "I have no idea why I agreed to letting you go alone. Especially now – and at this hour."

Completely ignoring his lack of trust in my abilities to defend myself, I voiced my query. "Why is there no one in this place? I'm pretty sure that there has to be at least one servant in this house. It _has_ been two and a half days since I arrived and I have yet to hear another voice other than yours."

At first, he looked at me as if the bump in my head had affected me more than he initially thought and then he seemed to ponder on something else. "I sent all the servants away. I didn't think you'd want anyone seeing you like that." _That_, meaning he was talking of my mental as well as physical state when he found me on the mountain. His ever-present grin returned when he said, "Besides, after all the _commotion_ coming from my heya, I'd think you would be happy no one was around to hear or see."

I opened my mouth to retort but shut it quickly when his double intender dawned on me. However, a very noticeable blush covered my face. I snatched the package from him and began walking towards the exit. I heard him chuckle and then the light patter of his feet on the floor as he followed me out. Once at the door, I turned to him before pushing it. I looked up to see him staring at me.

He reached out and traced my cheek with the back of his hand. I closed my eyes and leaned into the sweet caress. Only Kyo had touched me like that. Without some hidden agenda. I felt his smile even though I didn't see it. "I don't want you to go."

He closed the distance between us with an embrace. He kissed my neck and inhaled into my hair.

"I love my scent on you and yours on me. It makes me want you even more."

"I'm glad it does," I said appreciatively.

He growled playfully. "I don't want to go either. But I have been gone for almost a week and my otou-san will―" He pulled back before I could finish my sentence.

He grasped my shoulders while he asked in shock, "What do you mean 'almost a week'?!"

I stared at him. For some time I could only stare at him with concern. '_Why was he so surprised at what I said?'_ His voice brought me back. "What do you mean 'almost a week? How long had you been gone from your home when I found you?"

"Sesshou," I cupped his cheek in one hand, "What are you talking about?" _I really didn't know why he was asking this and why he was so confused?_

He looked at the ground and then back at me, confusion in his eyes. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Then, as if finally, being able to form his thoughts into a coherent sentence, he said, "I went back for you the day after you told me to leave. That was only three days ago. How is it then that you have been away from your castle for almost a week?"

I tried to understand what he was trying to say, but I just couldn't. How could he think that all of that happened only three days ago? He must have noticed my inner turmoil because he lifted my chin and his eyes asked his unvoiced questions. I glanced at him and decided to try and see what made him think this.

"Tell me that last thing you remember when I told you to leave." He turned from me and went to the window on the opposite side of the hall.

After a pause, "I walked out into the forest, with the intent on going home, or at least that's what I think I was doing. You have to understand, that I was not all there then. The 'talk' in the cave was enough to make me want to give up any hope I had of ever being with you." At this last confession, he turned, smiled and extended his hand to me. I didn't need a vocal invitation.

I went to him and he reached around my waist to hold me. "I'm sorry for that. I just..." I didn't even know how to finish that.

He stared at me for a long moment. Then, "I know."

I left his side, turning from him. "NO YOU DON'T." I berated myself after I said that. I rotated again to see him looking at me confused. "I just wanted... I needed... I had to―"

In less than a second, he was again by my side. "I would have done the same thing." He chuckled at my wide-eyed reaction. "I would do anything to keep any harm from coming to you. You thought that by keeping me away you'd spare me from all that we are now going to face?"

"It's not like it actually worked anyways." I shrugged. Getting serious once more I questioned him – more for reassurance than anything. "Are you sure?"

He kissed my forehead. "Must I prove to you again how _much_ I've wanted this?"

"You must realize that I'm someone that carries much weight upon her shoulders. We're not just going against human-youkai laws. This is something much bigger than both of us. I'm a miko, you're a youkai. Then, there's the biggest thing - the Shikon no Tama." I reached to my neck where it still hung. "This makes me an even bigger target for attacks, for all kinds of things." _Not to mention three red-eyed Kami that would do anything to keep me always in their service._

"I always knew this wasn't going to be easy."

"You can get hurt."

"I can heal easily," he shrugged.

"There will never be a day's rest."

"I can use the exercise. Sometimes it gets boring."

"They'll use you against me."

"I thought you liked a challenge?" He teased.

Sighing, taking in all his words, I had to smile. The man – the male – I loved never ceased to amaze me. I allowed myself the freedom to enjoy him like this and put my arms around his torso. "I won't ever let you go, Sesshou," I whispered into his neck.

"And I love you, Kagome," he whispered back, and then added, "Lady of the Western Lands."

He let go and smiled down at me. He continued, "Anyways, getting back to our initial conversation..."

"Gomen, I didn't mean to interrupt. But I did want all doubts out of the way." He nodded.

Taking in a deep breath, for courage, if any he said, "After I left the cave, I encountered my chichi-ue. It goes without saying that he was beyond angry. He began berating me about what I had driven you to do. It was a one-way conversation. I simply stopped listening. I don't even remember how I got back to the Crescent Moon. The next thing I know, I'm falling into darkness..." He stopped once more, but began speaking. "I would have given in, but... there was a voice in the back of my head... it was strong and stubborn... it was you."

It hadn't dawned on me how much my decision would affect him_._ He grabbed my hand and led me outside. Sesshoumaru noticed me shiver when we stepped out. He pulled the white cloak around me tighter and kissed his mark on my neck. "Something inside called me to you. I don't know if it was really you or just my stubborn nature refusing to give up the most wonderful thing I've come across. I don't know. All I know is that I woke up with Ujio and Juro trying to bring me back to reality. Before I could get a word out, Ujio beat me to the punch – literally. My chichi-ue must have sent for them. We exchanged a few words. I cleaned myself up and went to look for you. You know the rest. That is why I don't understand when you insist on saying that it's been almost a week."

I assessed his story and mulled over every detail from the beginning to the end. And finding a plausible answer, I faced him. "Sesshoumaru, you must have been out more than a few hours. You said it yourself. You don't remember much after your quarrel with your father. The trip back to the Crescent Moon had to have taken a few hours, even for your father. Plus, take in mind that Ujio and Juro, who were not there, must have also taken some time to get there, depending on how far away they were. It had been night when you left from the cave that day. This means, that it took some hours that night to get to the castle, some more for Ujio and Juro to be found and more hours for them to come and see you. All these things could have taken up all that night and probably until late hours in the morning. You were probably out for the other two days."

He frowned the entire time but he must have found that my answer was reasonable. "I suppose that is possible." He remained silent but questioned me again after a short silence. "I need to know something, though. Forgive me for asking but did you," he came closer, "mate with that boy?"

Sesshoumaru's query took me off guard. I had no words to what he asked. I mean, I had given myself to **him**, in all sense of the word, and here he was asking this! He couldn't really be stupid enough to question my virginity! I glared at him, but the accusing words never left my lips when I realized what exactly he was asking.

I laughed deep within. The word 'mate' wasn't just having physical contact with the person you love. Kirara had mentioned, like so many other things, that the term 'mate' did not only mean that to youkai. For humans, there was the joining of the bodies of two people, but we had something else that symbolized that union and bond – _marriage_. For youkai, however, the 'mating' was both of these things combined as well, if not something much stronger. Sesshoumaru in this case wanted to know if I had married Hiroyaki.

"Iiee."

"Doushite? You told me that after the houshi performed the ceremony, you wouldn't be able to be with me."

"The 'ceremony' I was speaking of, was the official ritual to name me the guardian of the Shikon. Not marriage. It is such a pure ritual that I would have been unable to come within ten feet of any male. And because... as much as I knew that Hiro would be the perfect husband... I couldn't possibly live knowing that although I would be physically faithful to him, my mind, heart and soul would always be with you. That wouldn't be fair for any of us. He deserves someone that could give herself to him entirely."

"I don't deserve you."

"I know," I smirked.

He laughed out loud and the sound was music to my ears. I bit my lip and leaned in to his kiss. We parted too soon. He held me close for some time until I noticed the position of the sun.

"I really should get going if I plan to make it out of the Western Lands before nightfall."

"And how exactly do you plan to do that in just," he looked to the sky, "two, maybe two and half hours?"

"You have yet to see the extent of my power. I might just surprise you."

He kissed my forehead one last time. Then as I was turning to leave, I remembered something of the utmost importance. Reaching for the blue and yellow sash I had gifted him, I closed my eyes and chanted a spell. When I opened my eyes he looked down at me questionably.

"It is a spell to hide not only our marks but also my scent on you. We must devise a well-thought plan. Come to our glade on the next full moon," he didn't even let me finish when he let out an irritated growl.

"I don't think I can wait that long without having some sort of physical contact with you now that we're mated. And to be honest, I don't think I want to."

Rolling my eyes, I continued. "I don't want to raise any suspicions. Things need to continue as they had when we left each other. Your father is very intuitive and he will know that something is out of place if we suddenly see each other again. Please be patient for both of us. This long separation will also hurt me."

With a weary sigh he nodded and saw me off.

* * *

**Hello Faithful Readers,**

**Wow! Four months since the last update…**

**I'm just thankful that most of you are still around. The key word here being **_**most**_**. But I can't complain. I did leave a long time.**

**Yet here I am! I know the updates have been extremely slow and I do want to apologize for only uploading one chapter this time. I'm barely falling back into my controlled schedule. I'm hoping that this May will finally give me the normal hours at work and school. Though with the whole flu thing down here in Mexico it's been hellish! Mostly I'm worried for my Kesh (who, by the way, sends his regards and sincere thanks for all those of you who kept him in your prayers). His health is still at 80%, but slowly progressing.**

**Anyways...**

**I do assure you guys, though, that by the end of this month I will update again. That's a promise! It'll be my birthday present to you guys (even though it will be my birthday ;P)!!!**

**AND AS ALWAYS, I WANT TO CONTINUE ASKING FOR YOUR SUPPORT IN LETTING ME KNOW IF YOU SEE MY STORY POSTED IN ANY SITES OTHER THAN FANFICTION, MEDIAMINER OR A SINGLE SPARK….. PLEASE!!!**

**HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!**

**Reika **


	42. Chapter 42

_**I have not loved the world, nor the world me;**_

_**I have not flattered its rank breath, nor bowed**_

_**To its idolatries a patient knee.**_

_**Lord Byron, Canto III, Stanza 113**_

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_**Hi!!!**_

_**DON'T FORGET TO LEAVE YOUR REVIEWS, PLEASE… I MISS THEM **_**:(**

**CHAPTER 40**

If I had known that it was going to indeed take me almost six hours to get out of the Western Lands, I would have waited until morning. Not only was I lacking in sleep from the past two days, but the running had made me painfully aware of the soreness between my legs. The freezing air burned my lungs and the thin layer of snow slowed my progress. The only time I had stopped by a village, the daimyo had offered the 'perfect killer' miko a room for the night. I politely declined explaining how I needed to return home with much urgency.

The daimyo insisted, even offering to let me have his quarters so I could rest more comfortably. In the middle of our conversation (and to my infinite luck) the village was attacked by five weasel youkai. Yelling at the villagers to go into their homes and running to the front of the few samurai ready to attack, I reached back for my yumi, when I realized that I didn't even have one. Procuring one out of my spiritual powers in my weakened state was out of the question. I cursed under my breath.

"Here you are miko-sama. They may not be as fine as you are accustomed, but I hope they will do." The old samurai smiled and was about to return to the side when the ground began to shake.

It was too late when I turned. All I felt was the blinding pain in my side as I was thrusted against a sharpened-edge rock. I yelped at the pain. I would have stayed there but the painful screams of men forced me to open my eyes. Bloodied bodies, both men and women, were sprawled on the ground. I sucked in a breath that burned my lungs. The stench of their bloods made my stomach turn and bile rose to my throat.

Gathering my strength, I pushed myself off the ground only to be pushed down by a paw and nails that sank on my shoulders. Still dazed, I stared up at the weasel on top of me, its breath reeking of decomposed material, the bile in my throat rising again.

"The Shikon miko," it hissed. "How fortunate for us that you came to us! We were just going to raid your village."

"Get off me."

"It would be my pleasure. Just give me the jewel. Maybe after I have the greatest power in existence, I can have its keeper, too!"

"In your pathetic dreams!" As hard as I pushed, I couldn't move the demon off of me. I felt so weak and pathetic.

It laughed at my attempts and they somehow seemed to encourage him. It lowered itself, digging its claws deeper. For a moment, a shiver ran up my spine. Then it licked my left cheek.

"You taste good – pure and untainted! Your taste is even more pure than any other miko I've had." It gave a chilling laugh.

The weasel traced its tongue once again on my left cheek, down my cheek and to my neck and stopped. An invisible force several feet pushed it off me away as a pain twisted my stomach. I opened eyes I did not know I had closed. I used its temporary shock to lift myself, wincing at all the pain my body was suffering from. Locating the fallen bow and arrow, I prepared one and held it tightly against the string.

It made a shrieking noise before it yelled for all to hear. "You bear the scent of the Crescent Moon!"

My head was still spinning and it took a little more that it should have for his words to sink in. The sounds of screams and breaking huts dulled his words. I made no move to correct him but instead I kept my pose as unfazed as possible.

"It's impossible! You still taste so pure..." Shaking its head it yelled at me, "It does not matter, I will enjoy watching the face of the Daiyoukai twist when I tell him how tight you felt!"

I almost laughed at his conclusion. He thought it was the Inu no Taishou that marked me?! _Eww, he could be my father!!!_ I closed my eyes and called upon all my existing power and a little of the Shikon.

I opened my eyes, heard a faint gasp before I whispered, "Oyasumi nasai."

I watched as the arrow flew across the entire village and covered it in a bluish purple glow. The youkai were purified and the wounded and slaughtered villagers were bathed with the power. In an instant, they were returned to normal, all but the destroyed homes. My knees weakened and I fell on all four, catching my breath.

The samurai who had handed me his yumi earlier came to me and helped me up. He called the other village men to come and help him. "Miko-sama, we should get you to our miko. She is on the other side of the village. While she is not as powerful as yourself, I believe she might be able to prepare some herbal brew to help you regain your strength."

Too weak and confused as hell, I only nodded, allowing one of the younger men to carry me. As we passed through the small furusato, I noted the extent of the damages. It would take at least a few months for only half of the village to be built.

The said miko met us outside the shrine where she resided. She ushered the man who carried me and pointed to a humble mat on the floor where he carefully laid me down and left hurriedly before I could thank him. Only he and I would ever know why he was in such a hurry to leave my presence. It was another 'wonderful' gift from the damn gods I would forever serve. I lifted as much as my battered body allowed, which was no more than what my elbows could raise me, searching for the miko.

"It's been a while since I've seen you around here, hime. I was beginning to think that the rumors of your death that began circling four days ago were indeed true," came an all too familiar voice.

A straw door on my right opened to reveal the face of my late mother's best friend, Xiao Mei. I noticed that the years had not affected her at all. In fact, she could easily pass as someone just two or three years older than me. She was a beautiful woman. Her dark brown hair, which she still held in a braid, was almost past the small of her back. She had a light tan skin, not too dark, but not too light, just enough to accent her hazel eyes, a trait of her mixed Chinese-Japanese heritage. Of course, she, being a miko, trained everyday - evident in her very well kept and curved body. It was a shame that her beauty was wasted behind a shrine.

Not that I ever thought that being a miko was something bad, its just that, it was, in reality, something that required so much more than it actually offered. Regardless, miko were never given a choice. You were born into it as everyone was to his or her positions in life. Or so I thought then.

Xiao Mei asked again, a little annoyed that I had not answered. "What are you doing around this part Kagome? It isn't like you to wonder into villages with their own miko or priest."

"I was heading home." It was a clipped and a much edited explanation but the truth nonetheless.

"Then, it is fortunate of us that you happened to be passing by. As much as I hate to admit it, your presence couldn't have had better timing." She kneeled in front of me and gave me a small cup filled with tea.

When the smell hit me, I immediately scrunched my nose in recognition – ginseng root. "Good. You know what it is. Now, drink it up." I glared at her command, but drank it anyways.

"Argh! If I'd known how horrible it tasted, then I'd never given it to anyone, even if it meant faster healing!" I put the cup down. "Arigatou."

She nodded and continued separating the herbs she had probably collected early in the morning. I watched her while I began to feel the numbing effects of the tea. I thought about what the weasel youkai had told me. My hand instinctively went to the mating mark on my neck, which was covered by the cloak I still wore. I realized that I was going to have to find some way of concealing it as well as Sesshoumaru's scent on me. I had been in such a hurry to leave that I failed to disguise my own mark and scent. With the masking spells, a gift was always required. The sash I had given to Sesshoumaru was perfect, but he had not given anything to me, except the kimono I wore. It was not a suitable gift for it was not really a gift but a loan.

"What happened to your robes?" Xiao Mei's question snapped me back.

_And so the dance began..._

"I had a run in with a youkai a few days ago. My clothes were ruined in the process. I was offered this kimono since they didn't have proper miko garments. Something is better than nothing." I had not looked at her throughout the explanation, afraid she could read between the lines.

I hadn't sensed her movements until she was touching the kimono I was wearing. "Interesting... Well, you sure know how to pick them," she smiled, feeling the texture of the cloth between her fingers.

"Nani?"

"You mean you don't know?" I shook my head. "This is made from Silk of the Dead." Upon seeing my further confusion, she gave a light chuckle and sat back to explain.

"Silk of the Dead is made from a very powerful and poisonous black widow youkai that lives near Fujiyama. It was said that many years ago, the spider youkai was in danger of loosing her eggs to some lizard youkai that wanted to eat them. She turned to the Daiyoukai of the West for help and he came. He destroyed the intruders, mainly because he had had some problems with them in the past. Any ways, in return, she offered him her loyalty. She also promised him and only him, that she would make a different kimono for his wife, every week. I don't know if she still did after _she_ died, though." She looked thoughtful.

"Who died?"

"The Lady of the West, of course. Have you not been paying attention?" She demanded.

"Hai." I looked at the kimono and realizing for the first time that Sesshoumaru must have given me one of his mother's kimono. I felt honored but at the same time, I felt horrible for ruining such beautiful clothing.

"I'm sorry," I whispered catching her somewhat off guard.

"Sorry for what? You didn't kill her." She sighed. "Nevertheless, I still don't understand how a kimono made of _that _material found its way to a human furusato. Well, whatever the reason, I'm sure that it's not longer important."

I remained quiet as I sat there watching her separate her herbs. I pulled the cloak tighter around me as I stood. I put on my geta, pulled open the straw door and stopped when she called.

"Are you leaving so soon?" She had not even ceased her work nor turned.

"Hai. My otou-san will be worried. Besides, the longer I stay, the easier it will be for the furusato to once again be attacked."

She stiffened at the mention of my father. I knew how she felt about him. Why she felt that way, was something that I had yet to discover. But I refused to question her now. The inquisition would come at a better and chosen time. Now, I needed to hurry.

"Very well. Have a safe trip." She faced me and offered a smile, which was full of pity. "I suppose its better that the Shikon no Tama leave our furusato. I certainly don't know how much more rampaging it could take."

I nodded and bowed. "Arigatou, Xiao Mei-onee-san."

"We are sisters. It is only natural that we help each other out." Without a second glance, I left.

I ran as fast as my two legs could until I was but a few hours from my home. I had stopped twice to rest but it had been only short moments. For they had been interrupted by ronin (wandering samurai; those without masters to serve) and youkai attacks that limited my sleep. By the fifth day, I was standing outside the palace, dreading the ever-present darkness that awaited me.

However, before I could take a step closer to the castle, the air around me chilled. It was the ever-familiar feeling of _their_ presence. Summoning the powers of the jewel, which I had never dared to do, I bathed myself in them to cover all trace of Sesshoumaru.

Biting winds whipped around me before the usual band around my neck scalded me and I was thrown roughly against a hard wall. I stood in the center of a cell I knew even better than the back of my hand. Over the years, I'd counted every grain of sand. Had saturated all of them with my blood.

The chains came out of the ceiling and wrapped themselves around my wrists while my clothes were ripped from my body. For once, I didn't fight as they lifted me off the ground. My arms burned from the combination of the freezing air and the weight of my body.

But the pain was nothing compared to the one aching in my chest at the thought of what they could do to Sesshoumaru.

Now that I was mated to the inu youkai, there was no telling how they would make me pay when they discovered it. And make me pay they would. In the most agonizingly painful way imaginable.

The door to my cell opened. _"Have you thought about our offer? And do appreciate we don't just take from you. After all, a whore like you doesn't deserve all that we have given her."_

Given to me? Yeah, right! They knew they never asked much less give. All they knew how to do was make my life miserable one damn second after another. I lifted my head to look directly into blood red slits. Its face was only an inch from mine. The smell of sulfur reached my nose and made bile rise immediately in my throat.

Instant fury filled my blackened heart. However, what I hated more than them was myself. I was the one that had gotten myself into this. There was no one to blame. It had been me that had stupidly sold myself. And damn them for reminding me of it every chance they got!

I turned my head in disgust for a moment before I leveled them with my own glare. _"You made no offer to me."_

I felt the vicious sting of a slash on the back of my thigh. Gritting my teeth, I spat in their direction. Another slash, to the small of my back, followed. I held back my reaction this time as I realized that this would only anger them more. I needed to play my cards right. They knew that no matter what, I had to do their bidding. It had been their rules.

Before another thought could enter my mind, the chains were loosened. Yet, they only pulled me forward as my arms were wrapped around a stump. Immediately, one of them, in grand show of reminding me of my place, hovered millimeters from my back and blew air at my nape. They alone knew how much it degraded me.

Again, just to remind me of my inferiority, they did another thing that struck a painful chord deep within my soul. They pulled back my hair. _"We didn't think even you would be heartless enough to put those mongrel dogs before your precious humans. Then again, you have always had a soft spot for such worthless things. Do you truly wish to keep those insignificant worms alive?"_

I said nothing as I hesitated. If I accepted readily, they would definitely add to my already ever-lasting sentence. It had been, in the end, for another man that I had ended up as a slave. Still, if I didn't…

Sesshoumaru.

_I'm protecting him._ I repeated those words over and over again and they alone gave me comfort. I would rather suffer eternal torment than see him hurt.

He was worth it.

"_I'm in no mood to talk, _my lord_. Just tell me what else this is going to cost me and start the torture."_

They let go of my hair. _"Interesting. You have so seldom asked us to hurt you. And to think right now, you could be enjoying time killing those four abominations and not lying here like so much meat. You do tend to enjoy your hunts a little more than you should." _

The faces of father and sons surfaced quickly.

"_Leave them out of this,"_ I spat.

"_That, unfortunately, we can't do."_

Fear gripped my heart. _"What do you mean?"_

Disembodied laughs echoed in the damp cell. _"You know, Kagome. We really hate you. Truly. We have to say that torturing you has been one of our greatest pleasures. And now, just like always, you're making us mad."_

Yeah, well, tell me something I don't know.

"_I'm tied down here like an infectious animal, waiting to be beaten. Tell me, how in the hell could that make you angry?"_

"_Because we have to lift the sentence on the Western curs, you cyprian. Despite our great displeasure, the dogs must live. For now."_

Disbelief wracked through me. _"What?"_

"_The deal we struck with you… remember? We can't very well change the rules this far into the game. We are perfect. We make no mistakes. We know everything. That is why we will watch them very closely."_

"_They're names will not be on my List?"_ I asked still incredulous, not daring to lift my eyes to them. They were backing off too easily. Surely, they were planning something.

"_Let's just say, that you have shown us how much they are worth to you. You have foolishly sacrificed your life for those disgusting creatures on several occasions. And to think that it didn't take more than a moon's cycle since you met them to soften you. A task no other creature, human or otherwise, has ever accomplished."_

A horrible feeling of dread ran down my spine.

_Great! Another reason to punish me. Well, technically, four of them._

One of the ones that usually whipped me, the one that never said a word, pulled my hair back hard enough to pull some of them out, and whispered, _"We will enjoy the day we write their names on the List. I, personally, will savor it. As for now… payment is due."_

I still couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Once more, the chains pulled me up. The winds shifted to let me know that they were getting ready for my usual lashing. No sooner had the links been pulled taut, when the first one caught me on my left side. Wincing and closing my eyes, I willed my mind to travel back in time to the days spent with my mother…

The chains uncoiled so fast I fell forward on my face.

"_Get out of here, Miko. We can't hold you here any longer." _

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_Yuriko watched her leave._

_She had not failed to notice how much Kagome had grown to resemble her mother. The hair and eye color were different, but the air with which Kagome carried herself was the same as Midoriko's. Their reiki was almost the same. Yuriko dared say that Kagome's had far surpassed her mother's some time ago and was, apparently, still growing._

_However, she had not failed to notice the change in her reiki. It was not a big one but that had surely been the cause of the injury. She was no fool. She had seen that fault those many years ago. It had been the fault that had brought the most powerful miko down. By all the Kami, she prayed that it was not the same this time around. Surely, the fates would not lay upon daughter the same path they had laid for the mother._

"_Please, Kagome. Be safe." The whispering words would be carried unto deaf ears. Unfortunately, the strings of fate had already been woven and now..._

_Now, the wheels had been set in motion and there was no turning back._

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_Sesshoumaru sat on the ledge of the balcony in his heya. He watched the full moon shine down upon him. His surrounding was at its greatest. He noticed how everything now was much more crisp ― the colors, the shapes, the sounds, the smells. Could such a strong feeling as love make everything feel better?_

_Yes... he knew it could. But, it seemed to him that it all came from something else. He felt everything. It was an indescribably powerful feeling. As if everything came from inside him, from the blood that coursed through his veins. Blood that was both his and his mate's – Kagome. Sesshoumaru had always known that his family bloodline was powerful and had created some of the most powerful and bravest inu youkai ever to walk this world, but now, to have it combined with the purest and strongest spiritual blood, was beyond anything possible._

_He smiled to himself. He couldn't help but wonder what his pups would be like. They'd probably have his youkai strength and power, but they'd have their mother's pure heart and wisdom. They'd be fast, holding the best of both worlds. They'd be feared. They'd be..._

_Hanyou!_

_He straightened at that last thought. He hadn't thought of that. He had nothing against them, but he'd seen all that they suffered. Being half-human and half demon, but never really a part of any. The demon prince halted all thoughts and focused on this last one. He shook his head and smiled again._

"_It does not matter. They will be ours. Ours to love, ours to protect." After a moment, he lifted himself and with every intention of going back to his futon, he froze mid way. Something – no SOMEONE – was in his room. He remained still, his eyes searched and his ears attuned to all the little sounds around him. Nothing. There was nothing. Yet, the feeling that he was being watched was there. He lifted his head to catch the smell of the thing that watched him._

_At first there was nothing but the scents of him and his mate. But then, there it was – a mere whiff of graveyard soil. It reached his inu nose and made him want to empty his stomach contents. And just like it came, it disappeared. Sesshoumaru did not move for a few more minutes, but then relaxed and convinced himself that it was his growing conscious._

_Yet, the revolting smell was one that would remain with him forever, marking his future and that of his mate's._

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"_Have you heard any news of her whereabouts?"_

_The kneeling samurai didn't lift his face. "Iiee, okami. We have inquired in the surrounding villages, but no one has seen nor heard of her."_

"_Very well. As soon as anyone knows something, have it reported either to Hiroyaki or myself immediately. Understood?"_

"_Hai, Tenno." The samurai stood and left the okami's throne room. _

_Lord Seiwa stared outside. 'Where are you my jewel?' There was no worry for well being only for shift of power. The fates, it seemed, were once more trying to take from him. But once again, he would make sure that the odds would turn in his favor._

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	43. Chapter 43

_**I judge but the fruits - and they are bitter -**_

_**Which I must feed on for a fault not mine.**_

_**- Lord Bryon, Cain, Act I**_

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**CHAPTER 41**

**1204 A.D. ~ **_**OCTOBER**_

I walked hesitantly and carefully up the hill that led to the entrance of the castle, pulling unconsciously on the cloak that was tied around my neck and concealing my mating mark. My wrists were burning from the combination of the burns left by the chains and by the chilling winds. My back was aching so much and my sight so blurry, I was surprised I had actually made it to Home Crappy Home. I stopped right in front of the entrance. Both guards bowed and opened the gates for me. Taking in a deep breath, I stepped inside and headed directly for my father's study. The servants who had been in the halls, gasped and expressed their joy at my safe return.

I stopped outside the shoji hesitating and feeling like I'd stolen something. I had to think of what to say, how to explain my disappearance for more than a week now. Whatever I could have come up with was erased when his voice beckoned me inside.

Sliding the shoji and walking up to him, I mustered my courage. Not once had I been afraid and surely this would not be the first time. He was looking out into the afternoon, his back was extremely stiff. He was very angry. I stayed still in the center of the room for many minutes, the only sounds were those coming from the outside.

"Sit," he commanded. The word leaving no argument.

I sat, flinching at the action that surely caused some of the wounds to reopen and keeping my gaze in front of me. Luckily, the okami didn't notice. With my back firm, I awaited in silence. For once in my life I had something I wanted and I'd be damned if anyone tried to take it away from me. He turned towards me and walked, kneeling before me and looking me straight in the eyes.

"Where have you been?" His features didn't betray the fury I knew he was barely keeping control over.

"I left the temple several days ago. There was something I needed to do. I didn't notice that I had walked some distance from the city until I came upon a youkai. I did what I had to do. I have been eradicating more youkai on other furusato. I thought that was my Lord's wish. To have a Nippon more free of such creatures. I was only following your edict."

His face was blank as he listened to me. I didn't waver. "And did you?"

"I've done what I can, my Lord. Youkai who cross me don't live to regret it. If I have not destroyed all demons, it has only been because the Kami themselves have limited me. Even they know that life needs to be balanced."

He kept his gaze on me, searching within my eyes for any sign of lie, but I didn't let him. He stood up and returned to his desk. "Have you given thought to the marriage proposal?"

While traveling back, I considered some things and concluded on others. It would take much effort and courage, but it would all be worth it. I would take down everything and everyone in my way to be with Sesshoumaru. And the jewel would remain by my side - that was out of the question. I at least owed that to my mother and to my sensei. I would continue with my responsibilities of being a miko. Because deep down, I knew that I had no say in the matter and despite its responsibilities, I found myself enjoying it some of the times. But sometimes the sacrifices I had to make were those that made it such a heavy burden.

With that thought, I replied. "Hai, my lord. I have found out that I can, indeed, do both."

He frowned at me, both in confusion and skepticism. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

"I will accept my marriage to Hiroyaki and I will also be guarding the jewel."

He smirked and it sent up a red flag in my mind. "Will you be able to do that?"

"Like I stated before, I have discovered that I **can. **However," and his smirk disappeared, "I will not marry Hiroyaki for another year. That is my only request."

He watched carefully. He looked me over searching for something I wasn't sure of but that still unnerved me nonetheless. He pressed his lips and made a great show of turning it in his head. With an exasperated sigh, he waved his hand in approval.

I stood and bowed, leaving him to whatever it was that he had been doing. I ran out to my heya and found Lana and Eriko waiting patiently. As soon as the initial shock settled, they jumped on me, each one asking question after question. I simply looked at both of them. When I didn't push them away as was customary they stopped their rambling.

And that was when all hell broke loose!

* * *

_He couldn't help the grin that was permanently plastered on his face as he rode to his destination. One would think that he had discovered the secret to immortality. But this...this was far a better discovery than any that had ever existed! He had planned out his life even before he had been made emperor. Every aspect of his life had been undertaken with precision and he had never once made a move without considering all the outcomes. He had to admit, though, that at times things didn't result as planned, but it all worked out to his benefit in the end._

_Today had been no exception. For a moment, he'd worried that he'd lost his most precious possession, but like all things, it returned to him. And it appeared that now, he'd be able to have the one other thing he'd denied himself for the past five years. He now had all the pawns in play and very soon he'd be able to take what was rightfully his._

_Arriving at his destination, he dismounted and tied the reins of his horse to a nearby tree. He waited until the contorted figure of his spy came into view._

"_What news do you have for me?"_

_The horse youkai snarled at being ordered. However, when the balance of power shifted, he'd rather serve than be served. "There is talk of a new ruler to the Eastern lands. A council has been convened for three months from now. The Inu no Taishou has offered a plausible name, but only the four Daiyoukai know the precise name."_

_Seiwa glared at nothing in particular. Up to now, everything was falling in place. He had been able to pull all the strings of his puppets without them noticing. But victory couldn't yet be sung. _

_The youkai interrupted further thought. "There is something else." The okami turned to him waiting what came next. "The Inu no Taishou is beginning to suspect something. He's divided his army around his territories and he has also been making more visits to a cave up in his lands. He's not alone, though. There's something that always arrives right after him. I have been unable to make out who or what it is, but what I can tell you is that it's very powerful. And every time he returns, he gives out orders against our very plans."_

_The okami put his fist against his mouth in contemplation. "So the dog is being helped?"_

"_It seems so. More than likely it's the same one with which he has been meeting. What do you want me to do?"_

"_Keep listening. Right now I can't afford to make a move. We'll wait until the new ruler is named. Only then can I finally eradicate all my enemies with one single move." He turned to leave but the demon stopped him._

"_Your miko is also being followed."_

_Seiwa turned around. Now that was a new turn of events! Who the hell was following her? He gazed at the creature before him._

"_It is another miko. She's been following Lady Kagome for almost a year now. If you wish, I could kill her for you. But from what I've seen she doesn't seem to wish to harm your daughter."_

"_Have you seen her before?" He needed to keep things flowing like they had. There was no room for imperfections._

"_She's one of the...__** survivors**__."_

"_Has Kagome noticed this?" He doubted Kagome would not have taken notice._

"_I'm not sure. If she has, then it seems that she either doesn't care or doesn't think it a threat to her person."_

_Smirking at his infinite luck, he untied the reins and mounted his stallion. "Keep an eye on the…'survivor', too. She may prove to be useful in the future."_

"_And Lady Kagome?"_

_He glared at the demon. "What about her?!" he snapped._

"_I've been unable to find out where she was for the past few days. Further delving could expose me. Should I continue searching?"_

_He turned the idea in his head. It occurred to him that should he continue spying on Kagome, she'd find the youkai horse and kill him on sight - heaven knew she'd killed the last six. However, he'd have good reason to continue following her. The Inu no Taishou was gaining ground where Kagome was concerned and that did not bode well. If the flea-infested dog managed to get Kagome on his side...._

_No! All would continue as plan._

"_You have permission to continue. I insist that you notify me if at any time the dog tries to contact her again. Do I make myself clear?"_

_The horse nodded, bowing mockingly then disappearing once more. And only when he was gone did the okami let his façade fall. His face twisted in anger. The stupid dog was close to ruining his plans! And to top things off, he still hadn't forgotten what the horse had said on his previous visit. Apparently, the offspring shared the same interest as the father. Three inu youkai were seen trailing Kagome every once in a while. One of them was particularly dangerous for it was seen almost on a regular basis hiding in the shadows. On several occasions, it had detected the spy but hadn't managed to find him in time._

_This last youkai needed to be dealt with. First things first though. He needed to know the identity of this creature and its motives for trailing after Kagome. It couldn't possibly be the jewel. No youkai trails its prey for such a long time if it's after such power. It would have already tried something by now. Some little voice inside his head screamed that history could repeat itself._

_The okami shut it before it grew. He had to think clearly and long on this one. _

* * *

Kirara wasted no time jumping on me, pushing both Lana and Eriko away. She glared at me for the longest time as she hovered over me in her true form. Her nostrils flared and if looks could kill, I'd be dead six times over.

Giving a soul-shaking roar and ever mindful of the pain I was in, she stepped back but her anger didn't disappear. I lifted myself on my elbows, confused as to the degree of her resentment. I could understand that she didn't quite like Sesshoumaru, but this hostility went beyond anything I'd ever imagined. I chanced a glance at Lana and Eriko who were evidently as surprised at the scene as I was; both exchanging glances between us.

'_What have you done?'_ she whispered venomously.

'_I've chosen to have a life of my own.'_

'_No! You've chosen to go against everything we've ever stood for! You've chosen to be selfish and take a path that will lead you only to misery and eventually death!'_ she accused.

I stood, angry that she had the gall to call me selfish when all my life I had been anything but.

'_Selfish?! Everything I've ever done has been to make everyone else happy but me! Of all the people I thought would be against this...it certainly never crossed my mind that you would take this so badly.'_

She turned and walked towards the door. _'You have no idea what you have done, Kagome. And quite frankly, I'm tired of the same thing repeating itself. But...I can't be around when all of this goes down...because...I...I just wish that this time the gods smile down upon you.'_ Her voice was a deadly dagger.

I won't lie and say that her words didn't hurt. If I valued anyone's wisdom, it was hers. But I too, was tired of having my life dictated by everyone. It was _my_ life after all and no amount of warning would dissuade my decision. I wanted to be with Sesshoumaru and I would stand by him until death! If Kirara would leave me, then there would be a great hole in my life. Didn't I deserve a small reprieve?

'_I won't leave him. Not for you...nor for anyone. It's up to you if you wish to leave because I won't stop you.'_

'_Will you tell the Kami the same thing when they come to collect?'_

I swallowed at the reminder of what I was. A slave. I had no rights, no freedom. They owned me and under no circumstances would they ever allow me an ounce of happiness. Especially with a youkai.

'_I've made my decision.'_

She never once turned around. _'I feel sorry for you because you will never find the happiness you seek in him. You were not meant for him.'_

Anger returning, I snapped. "Then who am I meant for?!"

'_You're not meant for him.'_ she repeated tiredly. And then she disappeared. It was then that I felt the cold of winter.

I stood there for the Kami knows how long. Nothing could have prepared me for this. My only friend had deserted me when I most needed her. Her words kept bouncing back and forth inside my head but it was her last words that brought back the anger within me. How could she do this? Why couldn't she understand? Why was she so bent on keeping me away from Sesshoumaru?

_Why?_

"Kagome? What just happened?" came the timid voice of Lana.

I looked at her. "To be honest...I'm not sure." Then I went to stand by the open door. I couldn't feel her aura anymore. She had severed any connection. Closing it, shivering as I felt the chill of the wind and lighting some candles, I knelt next to where Lana still sat with Eriko.

"Actually, I think I do know," I whispered.

She smiled warmly at me and opened her arms towards me. I moved to put my head in her lap while she tried to brush her fingers through my hair. I ceased her wrist a few inches before it made contact with the strands. She said nothing. "Where were you, Kagome?"

"To make a long, unnecessary story short, I..." I paused swallowing and hoping with all my might that she could understand. "Sesshoumaru and I are mates."

Her breath caught. I closed my eyes. "Is it what you wanted?"

I sat up straight staring into her eyes. "Yes."

For a moment, a shadow passed over her face, but it disappeared. She smiled again. "Then I'm happy."

I can't describe the immense relief I felt at the moment, so I opted for a small nod. "Arigatou, Lana."

Then she asked, "Is that why Kirara left?"

Again my mood changed. "Yes. I don't understand her. I realize that she wasn't very fond of Sesshoumaru, but this is even too much for her."

She patted my hand. "Give her time, child. Kirara is very protective of you and she knows the trouble you will face. She'll come around eventually."

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so. I think this time she really did leave."

Eriko, who'd remained quiet the entire time, finally spoke. "Is Sesshoumaru-sama you're husband now?"

Lana laughed a bit and pulled her to her. "That's exactly what it means!" Eriko grinned.

"What now?"

I turned my head. "Now, we take things one at a time. For now, I was able to mildly convince my father of a vague explanation of my whereabouts. I also told him I agreed to marry Hiro by next fall. I have exactly one moon cycle before I see Sesshoumaru again. During that time interval, I must come up with the perfect plan."

Lana almost choked. "You agreed to marry Hiro?! But what about―"

"Lana, 'tis just to buy time. I need my father to think he is in control. Without him after me, I can move my pieces more strategically. Who I am worried about is the Inu no Taishou."

Eriko looked confused. "Who is the Inu no Taishou?"

"Sesshoumaru no chichi-ue," I replied absentmindedly.

"A human I can fool, but a powerful inu youkai like him will put to use all my years of training. I must be careful."

"What are you thinking about?"

I groaned, rubbing my temples. "For now, I need a bath. Can you see to that while I go to my library?" She nodded and took a resilient Eriko with her.

I left my room, Kirara still on my mind, and entered my library below my 'cabin'. Moving the only armoire in the room aside, I reached for the trap door underneath it, slowly making my way down the slippery steps.

(**A/N**: So as not confuse readers, I must explain this. Kagome has two libraries: one inside the castle, where she keeps records of her work, the kingdom and some unimportant story scrolls. The second library, which she built under her 'cabin' out in the palace grounds, is where she keeps her personal scrolls that include herbal remedies and poisons, spells and records that were given to her by her mother and her sensei.)

Quickly scanning through all my scrolls, I piled the ones I thought would be of use for what I was going to do. I put back those that I had discarded and returned up to my heya. Lana was just exiting and told me that she would come out later to bring me some food. Placing the scrolls on my futon, I quickly shredded my clothes and entered the small tub. The warm water stung the still open wounds yet it was exactly what I needed. With sleep all the lashings would be no more than pink lines by morning.

I was surprised to find that the steam intensified my scent. Even more surprising was that I could actually smell Sesshoumaru on every part of my body. The scent intensified the desire to be with him again, but I pushed it down for now. The corner of my lips turned up. I sighed and leaned my head back. I thought about what my next move would be. The non-specifics I had told my father would keep things peaceful for a few days. Those days would be enough to think about how I would keep the Inu no Taishou from finding out. Guilt gnawed at me, suddenly.

The Daiyoukai was honorable and surprisingly warm. Part of me, the part that I had thought didn't exist, the part that Sesshoumaru awakened, told me to be honest with him. The rational, warrior I was, told me not to. When the inu youkai lord last 'visited', he'd somehow implied that a relationship between his son and I would be something he wouldn't approve or support. I groaned for the umpteenth time.

Several minutes later, a knock interrupted my thoughts.

"Kagome? Are you done yet? I brought you some dinner."

I reached for a dry cloth and wrapped it around myself. I opened the bathroom door and went directly to the armoire with my undergarments. Lana sat next to my futon eyeing the scrolls I had left there earlier. She whispered to herself the title of each scroll.

"Do you plan on reading all of them today? It's already very well past into the afternoon." She looked at me.

Tying the last knot in my chihaya, I replied, "I'll read as much as I can before I convene with the Imperial army. I must resume all my duties in order for my plans to have a positive result. Nothing should appear to be any different. There must be something useful in those scrolls."

Kneeling in front of her, I reached for one of the scrolls nearest to me but stopped short when I felt her intense gaze. Looking at her, I saw her squint her old eyes. "What?" I asked annoyed.

"Your forehead...there's something there," she murmured as she reached out. I felt her rub her thumb at the area between my brows. Pushing her hand away, I stood and walked to the small armoire where I kept a ruby-encrusted hand mirror that my grandmother had passed down to my mother and my mother to me.

I walked towards the only three lit candles in the room and lifted the mirror so I could see what she had apparently seen. As I gazed at my reflection, I could only lower the mirror in shock. Lana immediately went to my side and turned me to her.

"What is it?"

For some time all I did was look at her. She pushed back the wet hair from my face and was about to ask again when I answered her. "It's a crescent moon."

Her gaze once more traveled to my forehead. At a loss for words, she simply stared at me. Then, as if finally understanding, she gasped. "It's the mark of the inu youkai of the Western Lands!"

Standing up and grabbing a candle holder and placing a newly lit stick, I sat myself again next to my bed to read the scrolls. "Correction. It's the mark of the Inu no Taishou's clan."

She hugged herself, all the while rocking back and forth. "Now it'll be impossible to hide from anyone that you and Lord Sesshoumaru are mates! What will his father do?! What will **your** father do?!" She clasped one hand over her forehead, as her eyes widen even more before she continued. "Dear Kami! What will _**he**_ do?!"

I turned sharply in her direction. _Dear Kami indeed! _I had completely forgotten about him and what was worst was that I had completely forgotten that our 'monthly trip' was only five days away. I shuttered at the possible outcomes that would surely ensue when hefinds out. Now, there was even more reason for me to search in my mother's and Tanaka-sensei's old scrolls.

"What will you tell _him_?" Lana whispered, as if hewere here and could listen at any moment.

There was nothing to tell, really. "I can't tell him yet. He won't understand. I need to ease him into it slowly. The fact that I have done nothing but described Sesshoumaru as everyone else has, has made him feel nothing but contempt for my husband," a small sense of pride passed through me, as I referred to Sesshoumaru as mine. "Right now, all I can do is buy myself time in every direction."

"I don't know Kagome. If _he _should find out on his own, he might not be very understanding. He loves you very much," she countered.

Shaking my head of all negative thoughts that came with her words, I growled. "Lana, you're not helping with those words! Make yourself more useful and tell Hiroyaki to gather the samurai at the training grounds behind the castle in two hours."

She simply sighed. "Very well, child. If you think that not saying anything is best, then you know that I am with you." As she left, she passed next to me and kissed the crown of my head.

After she left, I spent the next two hours going over many spells and chants within the scrolls. I had almost given up, but thankfully, I found something useful. I skimmed over the spell. It was a temporary but effective spell that helped hide powerful blood without dulling its effects. According to the words, it required several rare but potent herbs and a sample of the powerful blood wishing to be masked. The herbs would entail a very long, necessary detour through Lord Fatsu's lands but I could probably use the excuse to see Lady Michiru. Perhaps not a very smart idea considering the circumstances but maybe it could prove useful in learning more about youkai mating until I saw Sesshoumaru again. I would have to part to the Southern Lands immediately after the 'trip' and travel even through the night. Having to use a masking spell took up too much of my spiritual as well as physical energy. If Sesshoumaru's blood wasn't so infused with power, I wouldn't have to use as much of my own to mask it.

With that settled, I conjured a masking spell for both my appearance and scent, just in case any youkai decided to show up. I picked my hair up in its usual style, wrapped my cloak around myself and headed to the training grounds holding my breath as I neared another obstacle.

_Hiroyaki._

When I made the last turn to my destination, I was greeted by a peculiar sight. Several warnings popped into my head as I watched the okami and Hiroyaki laughing, with the army standing and waiting for my orders. Hiroyaki, who was facing in my direction, was the first to greet me.

He ran to me and embraced me. Both of us, more him than I, were shocked when an invisible force pushed at him and made my stomach twist in revulsion. He placed a fisted hand upon his heart and the air in his lungs whooshed out of him as if it had been pushed out forcefully. Still, "Kagome=sama, you have no idea how infinitely happy you have made me! My lord has just given me the great news!" He smiled from ear to ear.

_You're a liar! You're the most cynical and vile creature! You lie to someone who has done nothing but love you!_ The voice inside my head held no pity. The words stung because they were true. Hiroyaki was the only innocent player in this game. But I recognized the sound of that voice. It was the voice of 'the presence' that tormented me. _She _was here and _she_ knew what I was going to do.

Using my momentary detachment, Hiroyaki tried to embrace me again, but my hand involuntarily stopped him. My stomach twisted again at the contact. "Hiro," I said, my voice as soft as I could muster, "I have agreed to our union." He smiled even wider. "However, my feelings for you have not changed."

He faltered for a moment, but he nodded once. "I love you, Kagome." I heard _her _mocking laughter again. Hiro carried on. "I've waited for you all these years. I'm willing to wait for as long as it takes for you to like me just a fraction of what I love you."

This was wrong! This was just so incredibly wrong!

"Arigatou gozaimasu."

My otou-san walked towards us, probably sensing that our conversation had ended. "I see that you have come to resume your duties." I only nodded. "Lieutenant Tomoe, you will come to the throne room when today's training has ended."

Hiro nodded, bowed and went to align his guards, leaving my father and me. "I want you to begin spending one hour every third day with Lieutenant Tomoe." I turned sharply in his direction. "He will be your husband soon, Kagome. I only want to make the transition as easy as possible."

"With all due respect my lord, I have many duties throughout my day which **you **have personally expressed cannot be neglected or put aside for anything." I couldn't possible spend so much time around Hiroyaki. Sesshoumaru had been possessive enough before we mated!

"And as you have just said, I **am **lord and I am telling you **now **that spending time with Lieutenant Tomoe will be your second priority." He put his hand on mine. I cringed at the contact, evoking the sickening feeling inside me to return. He made a painful face and immediately removed said hand and placed it on his chest. He had a similar effect as had Hiro. I found it to be somehow strange. "Kagome, you were the one that agreed to this. This is an order."

I clenched my jaw. Thankfully, he was looking ahead. There was no getting out of this one. "As you wish, otou-san."

"Ii desu you (Good). I'll go inside. This freezing weather cannot be good for my health. I'll see you at dinner." I bowed as he left.

I waited until I saw him enter the castle. The breeze blew at my face and I held tightly to the cloak around my neck until my knuckles turned white. I could only pray Sesshoumaru would not return when Hiro and I were spending 'quality time' together. Taking in a deep breath, I walked towards the samurai.

_Let's see how long you can keep this up!_ _Her_ mocking voice came again.

I glared at nothing. _'Just watch,'_ I replied cockily.

* * *

_Five days later..._

My arrival was timely as always despite Kirara's absence. He wasn't here yet...as usual. This time, however, I could feel the weight of my conscious on my shoulders. This was going to be hard. The journey here though had bought me enough time to come up with what I was going to say to him. The more I thought, the more I realized that I couldn't lie to him. I wasn't going to blurt it out, but I wasn't going to tell him everything right away. Everything that I had kept from him in previous 'visits'...he needed to know.

First, I needed him to see Sesshoumaru the way he really was. This visit would serve to put Sesshoumaru on his good side ― hopefully.

"My, someone's tense!" was his teasing greeting.

I sprang to my feet without much thinking. He only frowned in confusion. I hesitated for a moment, thinking back on the effect any contact with other males had had (which I noticed on the second day of my return). Then I slowly drew up to him and hugged him. _No effect!_

Sighing in relief, I pushed back to look at him. He eyed me suspiciously. "Doushita no, Kagome? And before you say nothing, know who you're talking to."

I swallowed. "There's been some...," I lowered my gaze but quickly brought it back to his, "changes."

He remained quiet. "What kind of changes?"

Seeing him tense, I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me to sit inside the abandoned hut. When we entered, Eriko greeted him and returned to cooking the fish she had caught earlier. He smiled at her and sat with me away from the child. I had made sure to tell Eriko that I would tell him about Sesshoumaru and that she should remain out of any conversation regarding the inu youkai.

"I've met someone." There! It was out! I fixed my gaze to his face. I didn't cower.

His features hardened for a moment. Then he asked something that took me off guard. "Do you love him?"

I licked my dry lips, hesitating for a moment. I didn't know why I didn't answer right away. I knew I did, but something within me faltered. It wasn't fear; that I knew for a fact. "Hai."

He smiled sadly. "Then I know that he deserves you. For you to give your heart to any man, he'd have to be truly honorable." He hugged me. "Who is he?"

My body stiffened and he noticed. "He's special. He's the one that makes me feel like I truly belong somewhere. You know that for a long time, I've felt that I didn't have a place in this world. Like I was floating by in the river of time, watching others be happy while I watched from afar. He's my home. That's all that matters."

He stood with his back to me. "You didn't answer my question, Kagome."

"Yes, I did."

Turning rather abruptly, he grabbed my arm and pulled me up. "No, you didn't! What are you not telling me?!"

We glared at each other for a moment. Realizing what he was doing, he let go of my arm. He repeated his question, more softly this time. "What are you not telling me, Kagome?"

"He's not within accepted norms." I replied carefully.

It only seemed to fan his anger. "And why not? Why won't you just tell me his damn name?!"

Feeling defensive and hurt at his distrust in my judgment, I yelled back. "It doesn't matter! Didn't you say it yourself?! Didn't you just say that he'd have to be a great man to be able to win 'the icy heart of Kagome'?!"

"I never said you had an 'icy heart' Kagome! Don't go putting words in my mouth!"

"You didn't have to!" I felt my heart ache.

He groaned in response. "Kami Kagome! I just want to know his name! What is so wrong with wanting to know the name of the man that stole your heart away from me?!"

So that's what it was! He felt I was going to forget about him now that Sesshoumaru was in my life. That was nowhere near happening! I walked up to his turned back and placed what I hoped was comforting hand on him. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent.

"I'm not going anywhere. I still love you. He's not going to take me away from you. As much as it would pain me..." I took a deep breath, "if it ever came to choosing between you both...I would choose you."

He turned and let him for once embrace me. "That's not what I'm asking and definitely not a place I wish to put you in." He kissed my forehead tenderly. He sighed in defeat. "Fine. If you don't want to tell me his name, I guess, I can wait until you are ready to tell me. But at least tell me why he didn't accompany you here."

_About that..._

"He doesn't know about you," I whispered.

He glared down at me once more. There was no anger, only disapproval. "You're telling me that the man you 'love' knows nothing of my existence?"

I sat back down. "Not exactly. He knows that you exist and that you are a man. However, he doesn't know about us."

He laughed. "So, basically, you're telling me that he knows as much of me as I know of him?"

"Don't laugh! Actually, you will know more about him than he will know about you."

"And when do you plan to tell him about me?"

"Soon," was all I could say. I really didn't know when the right time would be.

He shook his head in displeasure. "Come," he reached for me as he stood, "let's eat and then tell me about this man."

Taking his hand I nodded and accepted. I had only taken three steps when 'the pain' hit me full force. I fell to my knees in agony. He fell next to me and pulled me to his lap. He always did this. He would gather me up and hold me while 'the pain' came. The movement caused an incredibly sharp pain to ripple within me.

As I curled within myself, I would fall in and out of consciousness. I distantly heard his voice quieting down what I later knew was a frightened Eriko. I gritted my teeth, feeling my insides twist inside my body and my bones crack and expand. For the first time, I felt powerful but alarming energy sear through me. The energy tried to fuse within my own but seemed to be unable to. It was as if I was watching the process before my very eyes. Something essential to the binding was missing.

Another prickly stab in my neck caused me to jerk away from his comforting arms. The ache was coming from the mating mark. Slowly, it began to feel like a firing sensation that was burning me from the inside out. With each second, I was becoming aware that my senses would sharpen and then as quickly they would leave me completely.

I tried to speak but the words would leave my mouth in whimpers of agony. Again the pains intensified and the darkness enveloped me within its arms.

* * *

_He tried to be her haven every time the painful episodes came. He'd done this since Kagome had first seen him, after she returned from her training in the Western Monastery and they had laid eyes on one another. What little comfort he could offer her made him feel like he was actually being the man he was supposed to be to her._

_At the moment, however, he was scared beyond anything he'd ever experienced. He couldn't understand how it had come to be this bad. On their last 'visit', two moon cycles ago, it had been nothing like today or any other time at that._

_He gazed down at her in desperation, trying to find in her contorted and pain-filled features any clue as to what he could do to lessen her hurting. He was left a spectator as Kagome curled into a tight ball, her breathing staggered and her nails digging into her now-bloodied palms. The aura surrounding her emitted the hurt that both her body and spirit were experiencing. Frowning at what he saw, he also noticed that her aura was different. It was fighting within itself. He watched as Kagome's dilated eyes, as was usual in her state, changed to a silver color._

_The sound of her teeth grinding arose in him a sense of uselessness. Before him, was his only reason for living, drowning in pain and he couldn't do a thing about it! She never did cry out. That was his Kagome - always trying to take all the pain for herself. Crawling to her side, he called upon the small power within him and used his own aura to ease a bit of her pain. For a minute, it seemed to work, until he felt some unforeseen force push his aura back and envelope her. He could literally see the unfamiliar red aura surround her and hers quiet down._

_The foreign aura disappeared within her and soon he saw her body relax and fall into sleep. He pushed himself off the floor and picked her up. As he carried her into the makeshift bed at the other side of the small hut, he noticed Eriko was trembling and still frightened. Laying Kagome down, he covered her immediately. He pushed back the chunks of hair that had fallen out of the bun she kept it in. She was covered in a cold sweat but he was already feeling the warmth return to her petite figure._

_Turning to the child, he offered a smile. "She's all right now." Eriko looked at him and came close the miko._

"_What happened to Kagome-sama?" she asked timidly._

_Trying to be as clear as possible, he answered her question while wiping Kagome's face with a dry cloth. "Kagome was born with something inside her body that tries to hurt her."_

_Now attentive and having forgotten her initial fear, for which he was thankful, she continued. "What is it?"_

_He kissed Kagome's cheek and a small tear fell on her forehead. "We don't know...but I would give my life to make it go away."_

"_Why do you and Kagome-sama see each other only one time every month? Did you do something wrong that you can't visit her in her castle?" she asked innocently._

_He chuckled lightly but hesitated. Only two other people knew about their encounters and they were both people they trusted implicitly. At least he did. He wasn't sure if Kagome even had the word in her vocabulary anymore. But if Kagome had brought the child-miko with her then she must trust her. Looking at Kagome again and wiping the small beads of sweat, he answered the child's question. "Her father hates me for what I am. He thinks...he doesn't...want Kagome to be with me."_

_Eriko cocked her head and gazed at him as only an innocent would. "But why? Kagome-sama likes you. She only likes good people. So that makes you good people."_

_He would have told her the truth. He could. The thing was, she would never really understand. __**He**__ didn't understand. Even after all this years. "Kagome is too good for __**her**__ own good." He turned to look at Eriko and winked at her while saying, "Just don't tell her I said that."_

_Eriko smiled but it quickly faded as another question came to her mind. "Why does she never call you by your name? Don't you have one?"_

"_Hai."_

"_Oh." But she didn't push it. She was old and smart enough to know that if he'd wanted her to know, then he'd have said it._

_One of Eriko's hand touched Kagome tenderly as she, too, bent down to give the sleeping miko a kiss on her forehead. "Kagome-sama is strong! She's going to get rid of it! He will help her!" She grinned at him._

_His brows furrowed. "He? You mean the man that she loves?" He turned his entire attention to the child._

_Innocently, Eriko nodded. "Hai!"_

_Looking to see if Kagome was still asleep, he dared to ask more. "You've seen this man?"_

_Again, the girl nodded excitedly. Pushing his luck, he continued. "Can you tell me his name?"_

_She opened her mouth but then glared at him, crossed her arms and shook her head. "I promised Kagome-sama that I would not say his name unless she gave me leave to do so."_

_He glared at Kagome. Of course, she would! Kagome wasn't a novice and she covered her every angle meticulously. Nevertheless, he wasn't one to stay behind. "Then...could you tell me what he's like?" A physical description would not do him any good. He hadn't been near Kamakura since he first came upon Kagome seven years ago._

_She pursed her lips in thought. Then, as if reaching an agreement with herself, she nodded sharply. "He's very brave and strong. He comes all the way to the castle to visit Kagome-sama all the time. He doesn't like that Kagome-sama is always fighting demons and getting hurt. But he always helps her when he can. And he loves Kagome-sama very much!"_

"_How do you know he loves her?"_

"_Because he does silly!" she said matter-of-factly, all the while giggling._

"_Does he tell her?"_

"_Now he does. Before, he would hide outside the palace so the okami wouldn't see him and then surprise Kagome when she came out. And he follows her everywhere so he can protect her...and he takes care of her when she is scared of the rain...and he comes to see her even when his father doesn't give him permission." By now, Eriko had returned to her usual self and was braiding her long black hair._

_He took in the information slowly. So the father of the anonymous man wasn't pleased that Kagome and his son were seeing each other. He was confused! Unless, the father didn't know who Kagome really was, then he'd see no reason why any man wouldn't be ecstatic to unite their clan with the Imperial family. Now he was even more confused than before. Who the hell was this man?_

_He could worry about that later. Grabbing a bowl, he served Eriko and himself. They both ate in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. _

_As they finished, he took their empty bowls and put them aside. He motioned towards the door. The child nodded and stood. She was already pulling the straw door aside when his voice stopped her._

"_Ryuu (dragon)," he whispered. "My name is Ryuu."_

_Eriko gave him a toothy grin and took his hand as they headed out…_

_It was mid afternoon on that same day when Kagome awoke to find both of them gone._

* * *

"_Kagome...?_"

"_Kagome...?" _

"_Kagome...Open your eyes, koibito (a form of 'my love')."_ Was someone calling me?

My body ached unlike anything I had yet experienced. As a slave, and given the years of beating and torture, that said much about my current position. The pain was still strong and I feared moving would only make matters worse. A cry of agony escaped my lips.

"_Kagome...Princess...open your eyes for me."_ Again a deep, calming voice spoke. I knew that voice from somewhere...didn't I?

Suddenly, a loving and warm aura wrapped itself around me. In an instant, the pain began to lessen and my entire being was left trembling. It took some moments, but my eyes slowly fluttered open and I was surrounded by candle light and a strange room. There were sounds of forest animals coming from outside ― no windows, I noticed. I surveyed the room, recognizing it. It was someone's hut. Someone who I knew but couldn't remember their name or face.

"You're finally up, wench! Stupid! The next time you pull something like that I might not be able to reach you!" The gruff voice reached not my ears, but my heart. A feeling of immense happiness and relief flooded my being. _It was him! Yasuhani was finally back!_

Which could only mean one thing ― I was asleep! The pain must have been so strong that it might have caused me to faint.

Forgetting my pain when I heard his voice, I pushed myself off the floor and rushed to the door where his silhouette was visible. I tried sliding the shoji with both hands but it wouldn't open. For an instant I panicked and pulled harder, clawing at it in a desperate attempt to touch him.

"Don't bother, wench," was his tired reply. "I've tried everything and nothing makes it open. I even chopped down a tree and tried to break it open, but no luck." He chuckled cynically.

His words made the pain return. This time though, the pain was much more acute and came from somewhere deep inside. _No! I wasn't about to give up when was literally a step away!_

Pushing myself up and wiping at the tears that I hadn't noticed, I glared at the door. "Get back! I'm going to try to open it with my powers!"

"I told you already it ain't gonna open! Didn't I just say that I've tried everything already...even tried the idiot's advice. Much help that did!" he snorted.

Ignoring his flattened tone, I closed my eyes and pulled at all the power within me.

_One..._

_Two..._

_Three..._

_Nothing._ Shaking my head and concentrating harder I searched for the hidden power. As I looked deeper inside myself, I saw nothing but darkness. I couldn't find anything.

"I'm waiting!" he yelled.

"Shut up! You're not helping with your negative attitude, you know?"

"Keh. Whatever!" I heard the shuffle of his clothing and I could almost see him crossing his arms and turning his nose indignantly.

I closed my eyes again.

_One..._

_Two..._

_Three!_

_Again nothing!_ I attempted two more times to no avail.

I fell to the floor in defeat. Why? Why couldn't I open a stupid, simple rice paper door? Why? When I was once again so close to being with _him_? I was distantly aware that now I was mated to Sesshoumaru ― the man that I loved. Somehow, though, in here, he didn't seem to matter to me. The only one that mattered was the man on the other side of the damn shoji. The one I couldn't touch.

My hand wiped the tears falling incessantly. In this world, I felt so fragile. And yet...it wasn't important because Yasuhani was here. He loved me just like that! I knew it ― felt it!

My eyes widen at the realization! More tears fell and a sob echoed in the empty hut.

"Damn it, wench! Don't cry!" His voice was brusque yet it lacked its usual sharpness.

"I'm not crying you baka! I just..." I couldn't even finish when my entire body shook with each sob of desperation. I placed my palms on the shoji.

He sighed despairingly. "Don't cry, Kagome. You know I hate it when you cry. I feel powerless...especially like this." He placed his palm on the other side of the door exactly where it would be in line with mine. I felt his warmth. "We'll find a way, wench. We always do, don't we?" I heard the pain in his words even though they were whispered.

I swallowed the last of my tears. "Yes. Gomen, I didn't mean to make you feel like that." I smiled hoping he felt it.

He 'keh'd' again. I leaned my temple to the shoji trying to get as close as possible. The silence came again. Moments later, he shifted to what I guessed was the same position as mine because I felt his other hand trace my cheek.

"Kami...I'd give anything to touch you," he confessed.

Without much thinking, I responded with as much conviction. "I'd give anything to kiss you." He laughed.

An invisible wind suddenly blew inside the hut and blew out the candle. The room was pitch-black. I straightened, alarmed at what happened. Another wind blew, this time it sent chills up my spine as an intense anger filled the small room. I turned to the door but realized that it was quickly moving away and I could not longer feel him.

I opened my mouth to cry out to him, but I was once again thrown into an unconscious state. The last thing I recall was a distant, panicked version of my name as it drowned into nothingness.

**END OF DREAM**

My eyes opened to a dying fire. It took a few minutes, but I remembered where I was and what I was doing here. I sat up with just a little soreness in my ribs. Taking a slow, deep breath, I called to Eriko and my other companion's name. There was no answer at first. I opened my senses trying to locate their auras and I found them moving towards me. They must have gone out to avoid disturbing me.

I glanced out the half covered window. It was only midday. Maybe, if time permitted, I could still practice with him some. The cold, snowy weather allowed for so little, though.

The straw door was pushed aside as the missing occupants came in. Eriko immediately ran to sit beside me. "Kagome-sama! You're all right!"

"Of course, I'm all right," I responded.

"Are you?" He asked and when I looked into his eyes, I noticed that he'd been worrying all this time. I looked away.

"Ryuu-sama said you would be all right!" Eriko added joyfully.

My head snapped up at the mention of his name. I met his eyes and realized he must have told her himself. He shrugged as my eyes questioned him.

My throat was a bit dry and I tried to convince him of my well being. "Yes. I'm still a bit sore, but nothing that can keep me down."

Accepting my answer, he went to fix me a plate of food. He sat across from me, Eriko to his right. Both watched as I ate. Once I finished, he took my empty plate and set it aside. Ryuu helped me get into a more comfortable position. He crossed the room and pushed aside the door. It had started to snow a bit harder. He went back to our circle and sat across from me.

His facial features were still worried. "It's never been like this, Kagome. Did something happen?"

I undid the ribbons in my hair and ran my fingers through it. "I don't know what's going on. Last time, it had been less painful. I have no idea what could be causing such a change."

"I hated seeing you like that. I didn't know what to do," he murmured. His hands were fisted.

"There's nothing we can do," I answered. "Was I out for long?"

Ryuu smiled. "Most of the morning."

My hand went up to the mark on my neck. Part of me wished that Sesshoumaru was here. The other part wished _he _was here instead of in my dreams. I shook out the latter. Eriko moved towards me and embraced me out of the blue. I was stunned. Then I grabbed her arms attempting to remove her except that when my hands touched her, I felt a small shake come from her. Other small quivers followed.

Before I could tell her anything, she pushed herself off me with her head down. Using the back of her sleeves, she wiped at her face. "Sumimasen, Kagome-sama. I know how much you hate tears."

Her words echoed within my soul. I could never recall telling her that. She must have somehow heard me tell them to someone. I felt disgusted with myself. How could I possibly try to instill in her the same teachings my father had taught me? I couldn't do that to her. It was true that I lived by that rule, but that was who _**I**_ had come to be. And this cold-hearted killer was not her.

As gently as possible, I lifted her chin. "Look at me Eriko." She shook her head. I almost yelled at her but I bit my tongue. With the same gentleness, I asked again. "Look at me Eriko...please."

This time she ceded, halfheartedly. "I won't cry again, Kagome-sama. I promise."

"It's all right to cry sometimes."

Her eyes widened. "But you said that feelings were a sign of weakness. Crying is a feeling."

"I said _sometimes_." I looked to Ryuu for help.

He chuckled at my loss. "Eriko, what Kagome is trying to say is that sometimes...people cry when they are happy, too. Being happy makes us strong. So you see...if you're strong, then you can't be weak, right?"

She glanced back at me. "I guess not."

With things settled and everything back to normal, we began talking about him. He told me that since our last visit, he had become the captain in the army of a rich lord in his furusato. He went on to tell us that his master was a kind man who treated all under his service with respect. I listened as he enlightened us with stories of his travels. For a moment, as I listened to him laugh, I could swear that things hadn't changed. I saw Ryuu with me on the streets of Kamakura as he snuck me out of the castle during the afternoons when my father was most busy.

Night came quickly and so did the next morning. As we parted, Ryuu reminded me to be careful and to find out about the painful episodes. Giving him the directions to our next 'meeting place', he galloped away.

I mounted Eriko on the horse and told her to follow me as I ran on foot. Thankfully the snow had stopped early last night. I only hoped I could make it in time to the Southern lands by tomorrow night.

* * *

_Ujio and Juro walked briskly up the narrow passage that hid the entrance to the Kuroi Hoshi. They'd have come earlier but they wanted to give their brother time to mend things out with Kagome. If things had gone well, they'd have the space to come to a solution as to their future relationship. If things went bad, Sesshoumaru might need space to trash everything inside the castle and outside. Neither of them wanted to be there for either of the outcomes._

_As they neared the entrance however, a most surprising scent met their noses. They turned to look at each other, in astonishment. Before a word could be said, they heard the front gate open and a smiling Sesshoumaru greeted them._

_Swallowing his initial shock (and amazingly, a bit of jealousy), Ujio spoke first. Fainting disgust, he said, "You mated her."_

_Sesshoumaru only widened his grin. "Several times, actually."_

_Juro stepped towards his younger brother and embraced him, patting his back. "Congratulations, ani!"_

_Nodding once, he looked at Ujio. His older brother didn't seem too happy about the union despite things. Kagome wasn't someone he especially liked, but his words had been, dare he say...hostile?_

_The older inu youkai was sniffing around. He didn't notice that his eyes had begun to bleed black. Feeling his youkai begin to surface, he simply darted out of the area. The other two inu youkai thought best to let him go. Ujio was one not to question when displeased and especially one not to give explanations for his actions._

_They both walked into the castle. Juro smirked slightly. Every corner inside smelled of Kagome and Sesshoumaru. He had to worry, though. Their father wouldn't be very happy about this. The good side of this was that now, not even the Inu no Taishou would be able to keep them apart, less they die. Picking up his pace, he followed Sesshoumaru into the dining area._

"_Her scent is old. How long ago did she leave?"_

_Sesshoumaru turned to him. "Six days ago and to be honest, it's been hell. I never thought that mating the wench would literally keep me up all night and pacing in my room. I feel like the air I breathe isn't enough and the pain of being so far away is excruciating." He ran a claw through his hair._

_Juro laughed. "The joys of mating I suppose." Sesshoumaru glared at him._

"_I'd like to see you when you get the gall to ask M―"_

"_That'll never happen and we both know that so let it go," Juro snapped. It was a touchy subject for him and Sesshoumaru immediately apologized._

"_I'm sorry about my earlier choice. You know...about M―"_

"_I told you to let it go."_

_Making quick change of the subject, Sesshoumaru asked, "What brings you here?"_

"_Chichi-ue is expecting you tonight. He wishes to know if you've had any contact with the miko. Rumors reached the Crescent Moon that the Shikon miko might be...dead. He is worried that you might know something about it," replied a calmer Ujio from the doorway. None of them had heard him._

_Sesshoumaru turned to Juro. A wave of panic went through him. But Juro quickly, rephrased the message sending a glare to his brother. "Rumors spread fast when Kagome left her home about two weeks ago and did not return. I now know that that was around the time you left the Crescent Moon to look for her. It is now safe to assume that she had been with you this time and she could have arrived at her home about two or three days ago."_

_Sesshoumaru felt himself relax at this brother's explanation. "Does father know you are here?"_

_Ujio was the one to answer his question. "We thought it best to leave you and the miko to work out your differences. Though it seems you did more than that," he said. He lifted his nose again. "You'll have to thank us for suggesting that we bring you back to the Crescent Moon ourselves. This place reeks of both your scents. Still," Ujio was beside Sesshoumaru in a flash, "I can't smell her on you."_

_The inu prince stood his ground at the angry words of his brother. "Kagome used a masking spell. And I'm glad she did. It's bad enough wanting her as it is without smelling her on me all the time."_

_Juro walked to his brother and pulled down the edge of his kosode to expose his collar bone. He couldn't see the mark. Sensing his confusion, Sesshoumaru removed the sash Kagome had given him and the scent and the bite left by her incisors were recognized by both brothers. Tying it again he moved to the door and beckoned them to follow him._

"_What about the bonding ceremony?" Ujio asked._

"_I don't know. The alpha male of the pack must perform it. Chichi-ue will never consent," Sesshoumaru responded truthfully._

_Mistaking his answer, Ujio barked, "Without a bonding ceremony, she will be nothing more than your whore!"_

_To both their surprise, it was Juro who sent Ujio through the door. "A bonding ceremony is crucial to clan recognition and true mating, but Kagome is far from being anyone's whore! We will find a way and I know that reason will outweigh anything else father feels against their mating."_

_Ujio stood, dusting himself and growled in low warning to his two brothers, who immediately showed their submission. Despite their constant bickering, both Juro and Sesshoumaru recognized Ujio as their elder and more powerful brother. Ujio looked at Sesshoumaru. "I meant no disrespect, brother. I am only pointing out the obvious. The inu clan has always been amongst the most respected and honored. We have set the example for all other clans. When the time comes and everyone points her out, will you stand by her?"_

_What he said was true and they all knew it. Everyone would look down on Kagome, labeling her and Kami forbid, any pups they have. He hadn't thought of this. He inhaled and lifted his chin. "Yes."_

_Ujio and Juro exchanged glances between each other. Both inu youkai silently promised to care for the young miko who had come to mean so much than they could ever dare to express; none of them knowing what the other had meant with that one look. "And so it is," Ujio whispered._

"_Kinasai (Come)! I'll tell you about some things that have been bothering me since my mate left," Sesshoumaru ran with both his brothers at either side of him._

_As they ran, he told them about his fears for his mate and his future. He told them about the putrid smell that had lingered in his bedchamber after Kagome left, about Kagome's admittance of another male in her life, and the overwhelming fear of ever being without Kagome. Ujio and Juro offered their help and support._

_To Sesshoumaru, it seemed that perhaps not all was lost. Hopefully with time, his father would come to accept that Kagome was now and forever his mate._

* * *

**Well, guys..**

**Happy Birthday to me indeed! I managed to finish polishing these two chapters. I'm not entirely thrilled with them but satisfied. I've been losing a bit of concentration lately because of something I'm facing right now…something good, though! And I should find out by tomorrow.**

**Well, with the last update I was sadden by the realization that I've really lost many of you along the way, especially at **

**Hopefully, these two new chapters will bring some of you back.**

**As always, thanks to all of you who have stuck around and been patient. Please take care and hopefully next update will bring the great news my family and I have been waiting for!**

**Reika**


	44. Chapter 44

_**O! had my Fate been join'd with thine.**_

_**Perhaps, his peace I could destroy,**_

_**And spoil the blisses that await him;**_

_**Yet let my Rival smile in joy,**_

_**For thy sake, I cannot hate him.**_

_**- Lord Byron, "To A Lady"**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 42**

**1204 A.D ~ **_**late OCTOBER**_

I had made the long trip to the South in search of the herbs and to seek out Michiru. It took a good three days without stop. I found her practicing her swordsmanship outside her palace grounds. To my surprise, her palace attendants welcomed Eriko and I like one of their own. Her parents offered me a room to rest but I kindly refused. After a long talk about my reason for visiting and dismissing the rumors of my supposed death, Michiru was given permission to show us the place within their territory where the specific herbs grew. I remained calm, all the while aware that my masking spell could give out at any second.

On our walk, the spell finally evaporated, causing Michiru to almost choke on her words and almost fall down. Thankfully, her own joy at our union won and she wished me all the happiness in the world. She did admit that she hadn't quite expected it given our rocky start. As sincere as her elation was, I was aware that it had more to do with the fact that a certain red-head inu youkai was not the recipient of my affection. I didn't push for any answers because to be honest, had the masking spell not wore out I would have not told her of my mating. At least, not yet. However, my visit had been mostly in vain. From what Michiru could tell me, it was only after a 'bonding ceremony' (which she mentioned with a side grin since the ceremony is 'supposed' to be celebrated BEFORE being mated) was performed, that the alpha male would tell both mated youkai about the specifics of their mating. Apparently it was a rule amongst the youkai communities. What she could tell me was that Sesshoumaru could easily control when I could be impregnated due to my time 'in heat' (which she explicitly explained, to my horror!). We could easily have one, two or no pups ― again because a union such as ours had never occurred. Michiru tried to comfort and encourage me during our small conversation

On my behalf, I told her about what had happened since we had last seen each other, why I had not responded to her letters and of my plans so far. I eventually introduced her to Eriko, whom I had completely forgotten and was half asleep on the horse trailing behind us. I stayed overnight at their home only for Eriko's sake. Early the next morning, we made our way back to Kamakura with a promise to visit them again; a promise which I was not about to make good on any time soon.

As the days came and went, I found myself returning to my old duties. It seemed little had changed. Still, my promise to my father kept me tied down to Kamakura. Every week, after dinner and before the army training, I would sit by the pond with Hiroyaki. We would talk about everything and nothing. I discovered that the time spent with him was not as unpleasant as I had first thought. I learned things about him that I would have never guessed and I realized that there were a few ideologies we shared. There were times when I would even find myself wishing that I were a normal girl with him as a normal friend. But it left as fast as it came. The rest of the time I spent anticipating my husband's arrival. Hiro was the only one that believed that Kirara would return. I was thankful for his optimism in my life.

My father had become less concerned with my whereabouts with Hiroyaki at my side most of the time. I rarely left the castle grounds in the entire month and if I did it was not more than half a day's walk. The usual youkai and ningen attacks still surfaced. It was the youkai attacks, nevertheless, that left me wary. At times, when I fought them, the spelled waned and it seemed that they caught Sesshoumaru's scent. I took no chances and disposed of them. A huge part of me was worried, but nothing ever came. I could only hope that it would remain like that until I left.

_By the middle of the month, however, I was surprised by someone's visit..._

As I walked to my room, I felt a demonic aura nearing. It was still far, but approaching at an alarming rate and full of anger. My heart quickened and my breath hitched at the possibility of Sesshoumaru finally coming. However, when the demonic aura was within my sensing range, I realized that it wasn't him.

The realization of who it was, nevertheless, gave me pause. What could _**he**_of all beings be doing here? He couldn't possibly be here to see _**me**_, could he?

I swiftly tossed my belongings into my quarters, grabbed my cloak and took the back exit out of the palace grounds. The two guards near had asked if I needed them, but I merely sent a glare their way and kept going. As I approached the area where the river became a fork, I stopped. I opened up my senses to any other who was coming this way. It was a great relief to note that no human, youkai, or other creature was within the vicinity. More than probably, it was due to the extreme cold and the snow.

"You mated him," were the angry words that snapped my head towards the dense forested area.

I didn't even think twice. In all honesty, it was more my survival instincts that reacted and a spiritual arrow flew at him. To my shock, there was a burst of blue dust just like with any other demon.

"Mere d'un Dieu (mother of God)," I breathed. _Wait! Did I even know what I said?! _I paused. _Yes, I did. But how?_

My eyes fell back to the spot where I had heard his voice. The youkai was....

_Entering the area from the right, on the opposite side of the river!_

My jaw almost dropped as he sauntered through the freezing river with an arrogant swagger and a less-than-amused smirk. He pinned me with a droll stare as he moved to stand a few feet away from me, still inside the water. Just by the outline of his body, it was painfully obvious that he was trying to keep his cool.

I couldn't really see him. The present cycle of the moon did little to light the heavily forested area. Nevertheless, I knew who it was. The question here still was: _what was __**he**__ doing here?_

"Could you please refrain from theatrics? I really hate it when arrows come flying at me. It seriously infuriates me and it ruins a perfectly good haori." I looked at the hole on his haori by the upper shoulder that the arrow had burned when going through it.

He certainly was a snotty bastard. Not that I didn't deserve a degree of snottiness seeing how I'd just tried to kill him - again. Still, he could be a little more understanding, especially since, he was a demon.

He stepped out of the shadows. Neither his face nor his body showed any signs of anger anymore. His eyes, however, were burning holes through my head. He stepped closer, making his way through the freezing water, until he was nearly at arms length. Then, he stopped, regarding me as if he couldn't believe I was really there. His gaze was accusing and... _hurt?_ Maybe the poor light was affecting my vision.

"Do you care for him?" Again his words were dark and barely contained.

I cocked my head and glared up into his blue eyes. Something about the way he was staring at me told me that my answer was crucial to him in one way or another. Despite the menacing flare in his aura, I refused to cower. "Is it any of your business?"

His hands fisted and suddenly he took one step before the familiar push of Sesshoumaru's mark kept him still - barely. It was a rather fast movement, that I had not anticipated and the sensation that came with my mating mark took me by surprise. In fact, it was my survival instincts that kicked in once more when I unknowingly conjured a spiritual bow and arrow.

He stopped struggling with the barrier and looked down at me. "You think I would hurt you?" I didn't need to look at his pale blue eyes to hear the hurt laced in his words. However, as I gazed into them, I had to swallow. "I mean you no harm, Kagome."

I called back my powers and brought my hands down to my sides. We stayed like that for a long time. He didn't seem to want to break the silence.

"What are you doing here, Ujio? I know how much you hate me. So your reason for visiting cannot be a friendly one." There was something about this inu youkai in particular that did something to my insides I couldn't explain.

In spite of the situation, I took a moment to _really_ look at him. He was afraid of me and angry at himself for that fear, I could feel it deep inside myself. But he was trying hard to disguise it.

I could respect him for that.

In the end he was wise to fear me. I could kill him as easily as he blinked. Yet I didn't want to hurt him. For some strange reason, I didn't even want him to fear me, and that was something I'd never experienced before.

Even from that first meeting, I knew that however infuriating and haughty he was, there was something that would have never let me kill him. There was something in the way he talked. The way he walked, with that dark gloom that escaped most that usually surrounded him. _I wondered vaguely if his brothers ever noticed it._ It was as if he kept something that he didn't want anyone to know about or see. In some delusional and idiotic part of my mind I thought he reminded me of myself. _How pathetic! _

"You didn't answer my question," he whispered. The cold breeze swept his onyx hair, the movement causing the black tresses to caress my arms. It was then that I noticed he had left his hair down. The braid that usually kept it back was not there. Perhaps it was the longing for Sesshoumaru, but Ujio's nearness and husky voice enthused me.

The inu youkai before me was without a doubt one of the choicest examples of his gender. His pitch black hair framed a perfectly masculine face. His well-sculpted cheeks were covered with two days' worth of whiskers that added a savage, fierce look to him. It wasn't like me to be attracted to anyone especially now, given the circumstances. _Dear Kami, if Sesshoumaru didn't come soon I might start finding the old palace guards appealing!_

"Hai."

Ujio stiffened for a moment, his eyes sweeping over my face. Then, "Indeed". He turned and began walking away.

"Is that all you came for?" I asked confused.

He didn't turn around and continued as if he'd shut me out the moment he gave his back to me. "Where is Sesshoumaru?" I had to know. _What if something had happened to him? Was that the reason he was here?_

Again, he paused. He didn't turn though. "Are you alive?"

"What?" I replied, more angry than confused.

"Are you alive?" he repeated.

"Hai."

"Then he's not dead." And when the last word left his mouth he disappeared.

* * *

_Ujio felt her presence like a sizzling caress the moment she appeared by the river. Gods, she was incredibly beautiful standing there under the moonlight and his body reacted to her with an intensity that surprised him._

_He shook his head. Whether or not there had been a small attraction to the miko, it no longer mattered. If the fact that being a miko and human wasn't bad enough, now she belonged to another. And not just any other, but his brother and friend. He was a killer, not a traitor. But the idea of seeing her had been so overwhelming these past few weeks that he had been barely able to contain himself around Sesshoumaru. It was unbearable to be anywhere near his brother without his eyes traveling to where his mating mark was concealed._

'_Kagome belongs to Sesshoumaru.'_

_He repeated the phrase to himself every moment until it drove him crazy. And just earlier, he realized he couldn't take it anymore. Regardless of their union, he needed to know. He had to know. It was impossible to mate without a soul connection between inu youkai. The proof of such connection was the appearance of identical markings within mates after their first union. Did Kagome bear Sesshoumaru's mark?_

_As he stood waiting for her to come closer, he remembered his last argument with his father. _

_**FLASHBACK**_

_All three young inu youkai stood to leave. Sesshoumaru exited first; he had a trip to the mainland he couldn't avoid. Juro quickly followed to ensure that his younger brother left with the necessary items._

_The eldest of the three had barely placed a hand on the shoji._

"_Ujio," the Inu no Taishou's voice rang in the dark, tall room._

_Ujio stopped and turned to his father, closing the door to the study when he saw the look he recognized._

"_Hai, chichi-ue?"_

"_You can't keep running from your responsibilities, pup."_

"_I don't run from anything, chichi-ue. I simply refuse to be forced into something I never wanted," he spat._

_Keiji stood and walked to the balcony, motioning with his hand to follow him. Ujio went to stand by his side. It was nearing dusk now. He glanced at his father's profile. _

His father_. _

_No other would ever hold that title in his eyes. The Inu no Taishou might not have sired him, but he had raised him and been more of a father than Iwao could have ever been. Memories surged that wrought painful in his soul._

_He wouldn't be worrying about this if his father hadn't been too stupid and…_

"_For your pride, you would see those that depend on you die? Those are acts of a fearful and misguided leader. They are your family as well. You owe them."_

"_They choose to die because they want to. I have never said I would go back. I never said I would be what they want me to be. I hate that place and if it were up to me, I would have burned it down the moment we left."_

_Crossing his arms behind him, the Inu no Taishou stared down at his son. "I know why you refuse to go back. And it has nothing to do with the place as much as what It represents." He placed a hand on his eldest pup. "Let go of your anger, Ujio, and forgive. Look at what it did to Kagome. What it is __**still**__ doing to her."_

_Unvoluntarily, an image of the miko came to him. The sound of her voice, her hypnotizing voice. He couldn't help the shiver than ran up his spine. It only angered him more to know that while not physically present, the simplicity of her name was able to stir in him things he knew shouldn't be there._

"_I am not angry, chichi-ue. But that doesn't mean I can forget," he replied. "Can't I just stay here? You once told me that if I wanted I could become your lieutenant."_

_Keiji pressed his lips together. "I'm not asking you to leave. And yes, the offer still stands. But I want you to think about this more before you make a decision. Besides, there is also the little matter of tradition."_

_The younger demon stiffened. Of course, how could he forget about that stupid little tradition in his family. Even he couldn't ignore it. Unfortunately, the time was nearing and he could feel it. His body was beginning to prepare itself._

"_I'm sure that I can deal with it when the time comes," he remarked._

_His father chuckled. "Can you? Believe me, Ujio, it's nothing you or any one of us can handle. A mate and pups will always come before anything."_

_Ujio thought of Kagome again for some reason. "Like I said, I'll deal with it when the time comes. There's no need to fret about something that isn't here yet."_

"_Have you thought about a possible candidate?"_

_Well, yes. But the "candidate" was someone that scared the hell out of him. Plus she stirred in him things that he thought long dead. A walking contradiction, she could awaken tenderness in a male, and at the same time, rouse the desire to wring her creamy, slender neck. That, and she had a nasty habit of trying to kill him whenever they were in close proximity. "Not really."_

_The Inu no Taishou walked back to his desk. "There's still time."_

_Taking his words as a dismissal, Ujio bowed quickly and walked to the door. His father stopped him again. "Think about what I said before. You must take your rightful place." Then he said, "You're mother would have wanted that."_

_Gritting his teeth, he nodded without looking._

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

_That was why he was here. He had sneaked off the Crescent Moon after his chichi-ue took off to a meeting in the Southern Lands regarding Juro. He had an idea what it was but until his father returned, neither Juro nor he would know exactly what was discussed._

_Ujio gazed at her again. She looked different somehow. Her scent rippled throughout the area intermingled with that of Sesshoumaru's. He was surprised she was not hiding it. Her eyes closed off, as she searched for any unwanted presence. He was struck again by the woman and he had to restrain himself from doing something as stupid as challenging Sesshoumaru. _

Stupid, indeed!

_It was as if she made contact with his soul every time she drew near him. Something that was completely impossible since he hadn't owned a soul in a little more than two hundred years. Ujio didn't know what it was about Kagome but his body reacted wildly to her presence._

_The moment he made himself known, she almost killed him. He, however, reacted more out of possessiveness that came more with being around her than that of his inu youkai nature. And when he asked her what he'd been dreading to know, he was shocked to find her just as cold as always. He had imagined that having someone to show her love, she would finally be more open. _

_And yet as he had stood, only one thing echoed in his head - the sound of her laughter. He'd heard her laughing before when she had sung to those human children. It was a lush, musical sound that rolled out of her. Hearty._

_He wanted to hear it again._

_The thing that hurt him the most perhaps had been when she stepped back and prepared herself for an attack. He'd never hurt her. He'd die before laying a finger on her. The idea was ludicrous he had to admit. Especially given his hate for miko. And for that hatred that had led him to do things. Things that had been weighing him down the moment he met her._

_But now, having seen the crescent moon barely visible between her brows, he understood. Surprisingly, he didn't feel as bad as he thought he might feel. Perhaps he'd been wrong all along. Feeling rather stupid and angry at both himself and her, he turned back home._

* * *

The Imperial army's training went without a hitch. With each passing day, they became a stronger, more integrated unit. On father's decree, Hiroyaki would be made general by the end of the month and I had to say that it had not surprised me. Out of all the samurai, he was the one that put his heart in the training and had far surpassed any expectations on both my father's and my part. The entire army held such respect for him despite his young age. In addition, I undertook, with the help of Kazuo, the training of Eriko as future priestess of Kamakura. She also amazed us with her willingness to learn and the results of her training. She turned out to be a quick learner for someone that was being taught so late in her childhood.

Three quarters into the month, the time of my trip came, and still there was no sign of Sesshoumaru. A small portion of me began to worry and even worse, I began to doubt he would ever return. After all, he had already taken my most prized possession..._and was it not what every male wanted?_ I tried telling myself that he was not the same and that he would return any day now. More than anything, I tried to convince my own mind that the demon was full of surprises. He could easily pop up any day before the set time. But unfortunately, it was only one of the many doubts that would begin to encompass our relationship.

During my trip, I was once again brought down by the painful episodes. Ryuu was there thankfully, as always offering what little help he could. After it, he questioned me about Sesshoumaru. Again, I attempted to make him see all the good in my husband. There was so little progress, but I could not ask for more. I was, though, the recipient of several scolding concerning Kirara. For an instant, all the blood went down to my feet. Luckily Ryuu was too busy yelling at me to notice. He asked over and over why Kirara spent most days in his furusato and what was worse, would leave hastily at the utter of my name. Letting out a breath, I explained to him that Kirara and I had had conflicting views on what was good for me and had adamantly refused to support my decisions. Of course, I hadn't put it past him to connect the dots. If he did, he only shook his head in disapproval but said nothing more. As morning came, we agreed on our future meeting and parted.

When we slept that night, I had another encounter with Yasuhani_. _To my complete disappointment, that damn shoji still separated us. It continued to be a barrier between us. During several dreams, we had both tried almost everything to break it. Nothing worked. He was becoming more impatient and I couldn't blame him for so was I. As I continued galloping back to Kamakura (Eriko had been left with Kazuo for training), I reminisced on last night's dream.

**DREAM**

He slid down the door, muttering curses that I had never heard before. His breathing was ragged and I could feel his heat through the thin door. Unconsciously, I thought about him, without his white juban, chiseled chest glistening with sweat, hair a bit disheveled and golden-brown eyes burning with...

I stopped then and there and reprimanded myself for thinking of him in that way. It must have been due to time spent time away from Sesshoumaru. But a small voice in the back of my head, kept chanting that Yasuhani and Sesshoumaru were one and the same and that the man on the other side of the shoji was mine...mine to do as I please.

Too in thought, I didn't realize that my dream companion had not moved in the last minutes since I had begun to fantasize. I heard him growl. "What the hell are you doing in there?"

Stuttering my answer, I said, "No-nothing. I was just thinking about...something."

He growled more deeply and slammed his hands on the door. For a second, I hoped that the motion had broken the door and he would come in and make love to me. Again, he growled, much, much lower in his throat. It was an animalistic, raw sound that shook my core and awoke a feeling of utter possessiveness within me.

He spoke, almost unrecognizable words. "Damn it...wench...stop what...your doing!" Evidently he was finding it hard to speak. "Whatever...you're...thinking....just...stop it! I can't...I don't...I don't think...I can bare...another second without...losing control."

I reached out to the shoji where his palms were resting and superimposed my own. "Kami, help me, I feel the same way! I can't understand these feelings. I don't understand how you can make me feel so lost and so at home at the same time when I barely know you...when I barely know your name."

"Keh! Crazy girl! What the hell you mean you don't know me?!" he asked as if I had lost my mind.

"You've never told me your real name and yet you've always known mine. I have asked since the beginning but you never answer me. Even on that first dream, under that tree, I wanted to know, but you only looked at me as if I was crazy. Only then I didn't know that we only met in dreams."

"Don't be stupid! You know my name. You always have. And I won't tell you because you already know. I am yours and you are mine," he chastised.

"I am yours and you are mine," I repeated, without a doubt in my mind.

The different direction of the talk seemed to calm him a bit. He kneeled and placed his forehead against the shoji. "Wake up, princess. Wake up and come back home," he whispered painfully.

I frowned with my forehead still against his. "If I wake up, you won't be there. You'll be gone, like you always do. You always fade away and leave me alone."

He said nothing more for some minutes. Then, "I'm sorry. But I'll be there when you wake up this time. I swear."

"No you won't."

**END OF DREAM**

I was right. He was not there when I woke up that morning. Every dream, every touch, every gaze, every caress, every kiss, was burnt within my memory. I realized that I couldn't compare Yasuhaniwith Sesshoumaru because a big part of me was sure that they were one and the same. Every time I was with one, the other was coincidently far away. Shaking my head and avoiding a headache, I made my way quickly to my home.

* * *

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	45. Chapter 45

_**These two hated with a hate**_

_**Found only on the stage.**_

_**- Lord Byron, "Canto IV, st 93"**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 43**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: VERY IMPORTANT**

In this chapter, you will come upon two terms which I will explain here.

1. _Meinar_: This is a made up word. IT DOESN'T EXIST. So, please don't go looking it up. Kagome explains exactly what these creatures are. Since I will only be using them twice, I will only describe the particular ones that Kagome encounters. They have the head of an animal and the body of a muscular man; I created them to resemble the Minotaur, from Greek mythology.

2. _Shisa_: These creatures are traditional Ryukyuan decorations. Japanese people use them on their rooftops or flanking the gates to their houses. They are wards used to protect against various evils – guardians, if you will. Most of you have seen them, for example, on the entrances. They are a cross between lions and dogs.

* * *

I arrived late that night after my trip. Father was busy at a meeting with the council of daimyo. One of the servants told me that Lana had been sent to a nearby village to bring back some scrolls my father had requested. As odd as it sounded, I gave it no more thought. I bade good night to Hiro when I bumped into him on my way before turning to my 'cabin' for the night.

And as usual, I would have ignored the many lesser youkai and foolish bandits hovering around the area, but something caught my attention. No sooner had the thought left my mind when _their_ voices echoed acidly.

"_Vermin. You know what to do."_ It was my 'on' button and their go-ahead.

It wasn't youkai or human, but it was definitely here for the jewel. Sighing in exasperation, I threw my swords, yumi and ya on the floor. They wouldn't be of any help for this one. I did, though, grab a small pouch inside one of the holes I had carved in the wall. I exited my quarters making sure the fire inside was alive and that it wouldn't escape to burn down my shelter.

When the cold air hit my face, I realized that I had left my cloak inside. Shaking it off, I sprinted into the village, following the trail the creature left. I needed to find it before it found a human victim. If I didn't, the human would be lost and I would have to kill it.

I weaved through the scarce citizens that were out this late at night. None of them noticed what was moving through them. But then again, I couldn't see it, why the hell would they? The trail it left was abnormally high for its kind and fading as fast as it was moving. I cursed under my breath. The cold air was burning my lungs and I could feel my body getting exhausted too easily. That was the only thing I hated about winter. For some apparent reason, the cold season never bode well for me.

As I neared the west end of the city, I noticed a man standing several feet away. His aura was powerful and the closer I got to it, the more familiar it got. The creature must have perceived him, too.

"You've sense it, too." he said, a cloud of cold air left his mouth accompanied by words

"Yeah," I replied almost out of breath. "And 'it_'_ is actually a 'they'."

"So, that is the reason for its unusual high level of power."

I nodded. "They separated when they felt both of us. You feel like getting your robe dirty or do you want me to take care of them myself as usual?"

He pinned me with a scathing look. "I may not fight very often, betsushikime, but I'm capable of keeping my end. I'm also a messenger. You continue west and I'll follow the other south. If you're not back by morning, I'll go out to look for you."

"Now, who's undermining who," I bit back.

"Be careful, Kagome. These ones are smart and neither of us has ever dealt with one of these creatures." Sometimes I thought he worried too much.

I scoffed. "Worry about yourself, houshi." But as I walked toward the creature, I shouted over my shoulder. "Don't die, Kazuo."

* * *

_He chastised himself over and over for heading there again in the same month. He had his answers about her already but it seemed that it just wasn't enough for his own peace of mind. The last time they'd talked, she had been clear._

_And yet..._

_And yet, he couldn't keep his mind from wandering to her. Kagome._

_Ujio had kept himself occupied by becoming more involved with learning more about a position that he hoped he would soon be occupying. Day after day, he wore himself out training with the western army both physically and mentally for a battle his father refused to elaborate on. And when that wasn't enough, he would either find Juro to try and start up a conversation (not a very interesting one, he might add) or try to seduce some demoness into his bed (not that it was hard), only to discover that neither could erase the image of the damn miko._

_The operative word on both situations was 'try'._

_For numerous nights, he stayed up late pondering on the strange miko. There was something about her that really wasn't sane. He was used to dealing with beings who tried to hide their insanity. Females who could play docile, damsels in distress while inside they were cold and cruel._

_Kagome lashed out and yet she hadn't hurt him._

_She was something that wasn't possible. He'd seen her kill and attack. He'd heard from other youkai who had been made witnesses to things she was capable of committing - of the most atrocious acts of violence when provoked. Nonetheless, he just couldn't get out of his mind how gentle and kind she had been to those village children she had sung to. Or the way she had fought, defending youkai she should rightfully kill, in the War of Lords. She was a walking contradiction. A mixture of night and day. Of heaven and hell._

_So, being the kind of youkai that saw things unto the end, he concluded it was his duty to find out exactly what this miko was…for his brother's sake, of course._

_Fortunately for him, the miko-hime was for some odd reason keeping to her lands. Thus, making it easy for him to follow the soothing scent of kuchinashi and lilies. Not that he'd ever admit to her that she smelled of heaven!_

_Ujio came to a halt just a few feet from the palace walls that surrounded her home. He knew there was a barrier surrounding it. Sniffing inconspicuously, he realized that her scent trailed off and was still a few minutes fresh. There was also the aura of something he'd never encountered before. It wouldn't have worried him if it weren't for two reasons. One, it radiated of pure unknown evil; and two, the miko's scent followed the same path it did._

_Pushing himself to his limits, he ran on the roofs of the houses, pursuing his prey. He wouldn't - didn't want to - admit that something inside of him feared for her safety. After all, it would be best for the world, and his own sanity, that she finally is put down._

_He shuddered at that particular thought. The notion was unexpectedly hard to digest and harder to envision._

_The darkened aura that the miko was following brought him just outside the city. The area was covered with rocky mountains on all sides. Ujio could barely walk without bumping into some huge boulder twice his size. What was even stranger was that there were no sounds. No animals, youkai or humans. No sign of life whatsoever. That enough should have made him turn around and wait for the miko outside her home. But he did the exact opposite._

_Ujio walked cautiously, using his excellent hearing for anything that moved. His nose didn't catch any hints of scents, especially that of a deranged miko. He knew that using his own powers to shed some light would be like placing a sign on himself that read 'easy prey'. In other words, he was walking blindly into what could easily be a trap. Had Kagome been..._

_He was suddenly pulled back between a crack in one of the mountains. A hand lay across his chest keeping him completely immobile. The other hand was covering his mouth. A soft breath blew across his cheek. Whoever it was, had managed to bring him down to his knees and was using some strange power to keep him paralyzed._

_He was about to protest, when a bright flash exploded before his eyes. He felt himself travel outside his body as he tried desperately to comprehend what was happening. _

_In a quick jerk, Ujio returned to his body. Before he could compose himself, he was overcome by intense pain all over. What was more, he tried to stand only to have several feet kick him down and throw something at him. He could barely make out muffled voices. All his senses were dulled. His head was throbbing and he couldn't open his left eye._

_Using the somewhat operable right eye, he tried to focus almost unsuccessfully on recognizing his attackers. It took too much energy and his body was completely overtaken by soreness. All he could really do was curl into a tight ball as the unknown attackers continued to assail his weakened body._

_Then, when he thought he might actually die, he heard the oldest one speak. "What? Rotten cabbage too good for a slave like you?" He gave a maniacal laugh as he kept on hurting him._

_Ujio just wanted them to stop. Why were they doing this to him? Why would they always treat him like this? He couldn't take anymore punishment for something that wasn't his fault. Maybe today was the day he would actually die._

_Again, the same voice spoke. "I'm talking to you, 'your Highness'!"_

_Involuntarily, Ujio's head shook. He never felt above anyone. He might be a royal but that didn't change the fact that here he was just another apprentice._

"_Don't Ban! She's our princess! You could be killed for this!"_

_A soft hand was placed on the tender area of his shoulder. Ujio cringed. A soft murmur reached his covered ears. "Kagome-sama, are you all right?"_

_With his conscious mind returning, Ujio's eye snapped open - pain shot throughout him but he ignored it. He focused his vision and stared at his reflection in the small puddles left by last night's rain._

_It was Kagome's injured and horribly disfigured face that looked back at him. If it weren't for the small lavender color that peaked through a swollen eye, he wouldn't be able to recognize this hideous creature that was now a woman of incomparable beauty._

_He gasped, but before he could assimilate the situation better, the scenery around him changed once more in a blinding burst of light._

_This time as he opened his eyes, he saw himself walking among many dead human bodies. There were in the hundreds, covering the ground. The air smelled of burned flesh, death and decay. Fear. Some of the homes were still burning and those that weren't had already been turned to ashes._

_He looked around again as he continued to wander. As he surveyed the area, and what dead-on description he had been given by other youkai, this was probably the village that Kagome had destroyed. His eyes took in every detail of the scenery. _

_Something about this was wrong. Somehow he felt it. Ujio had never heard of someone dreaming in such vivid imagery._

_He saw Kagome ahead of him, wandering among them. She was much younger, a child. Her face was ashen, grim. She was hugging herself, terrified at what she was seeing. Before he could reach her and ask her what was going on, he heard the painful cry of an old woman. Kagome rushed to her side._

_Ujio moved closer to hear their conversation. He kneeled in front of both of them. Kagome probably didn't even know he was there. He watched the miko's anguished and horror-filled face, as she tried to use her powers to heal her. But her powers were weak and she couldn't do anything._

_The woman turned accusing eyes to Kagome. "How could you?" The light faded from her eyes as she died in her arms._

_The miko lowered the woman and pushed herself up. She paced around the woman's body in wide circles, raking her hands through her hair and looking every bit as insane as everyone always said she was. Kagome's anger and pain rippled through the area just as strongly as her raged cry. _

_Another sound came and Kagome quickly followed it. Ujio trailed fast behind her as he passed the deadly scenes. He almost crashed into Kagome._

_The miko stood by a doorway where a small child was crouched. "Please! Please! Please miko-sama, don't kill me! Please, don't kill me! I promise I won't say anything! Just don't kill me!"_

_He saw the child pass by Kagome trying desperately to stay away from her. The human ran towards a group of samurai that were slowly nearing. There had been a genuine fear of Kagome in the child's eyes and he had to wonder if Kagome was truly the monster everyone always claimed. _

_Deep within his soul, he knew better._

_As he turned again to the miko, the air from his lungs was sucked out of him as a hand grabbed him by the neck and held him up in the air. He looked down to see Kagome, no longer a child._

_The miko whispered ominously. "Puppy, came back to play?" _

_He couldn't speak, both from the surprise and the hand blocking his airway. She bared fangs at him. "Stay out of my head, dog!"_

_An instant later, he was standing on all fours, coughing on the cold ground. Leaning back on the side of the mountain, he looked up to the infuriating miko. Pain and weakness etched her beautiful face. He looked her over and noticed the huge hole on her right thigh that was bleeding profusely._

_His gaze traveled back to her face. Intense lavender eyes stared back at him with as much confusion and anger._

* * *

The creature moved quickly and before I knew it, it had taken me into one of the mountainous terrains that surrounded the city. Kazuo was right. This one was smart.

As powerful as I was, I still bruised if I walked into something and I could break my neck if I fell off the paths that led into the mountains. Not even the moon could shine bright enough to light my way. But if it thought it had out bested me, it was in for a rude awakening. The Kami gave me more than a bad attitude. My eyes had been 'adjusted' for poor lighting.

Creeping soundlessly and moving around the enormous rocks that littered the way, I managed to find a small clear area about fifteen feet in diameter. This was as good as it was going to get, I realized. I walked to the center and took out the pouch I had taken from my shelter. Dropping to my knees, I made a hole no wider than a foot in the snow but deep enough to see dirt. I poured the contents of the pouch into it.

I drew a Choku Rei (symbol that could be used as a seal) around the yellow powder.

Closing my eyes and focusing my reiki, I chanted the words to the Kami. "I call upon the power that is within me. I call upon the Sentinels of the Heavens. I call upon all good spirits. I call for protection, defense, and safety. With white light, build a force field around it. Keep it sealed and render it helpless. All negative disperse and dissolve at the touch of the radiant light that emanates from the core of my being. All evil flee. All harm and danger is neutralized by the touch of my glowing aura. By the power within me and the power around me, only love, peace and serenity may exist within my protective barrier."

After the last word left my lips, the Choku Rei glowed with power before radiating it outwards, disappearing around the area. I stood again, and brought all my senses to attention. With the spell in place, the creature would soon be coming towards me.

Shutting my eyes, I closed in on its aura as it neared at almost lightning speed. Much to my chagrin, I realized that it had already taken a victim. A small child. _Dammit!_

I looked around for a safe place to hide. My eyes fell upon a narrow crack in the mountain. Stealthily I move toward it, placing an ofuda outside to erect a barrier. Hopefully I wouldn't have anything else to deal with tonight. My powers would be significantly weakened during and after this fight.

A few moments after I slipped into the crack, a humongous creature with the face of a Shisa (guardian statues), large green horns, red eyes and muscular body, suddenly materialized above the area. A loin cloth was the only thing covering its otherwise naked body. Despite its appearance, I could see the child's body and soul it had devoured to obtain the power it had now. But it didn't come down and only looked, probably surveying the area for the one that had followed it. I recognized what it was immediately.

_Meinar._

The Meinar were creatures that even the Kami supposedly feared. Stories existed that told of how eight Meinar were once the actual rulers of our world, wreaking havoc and destroying anything that the gods fashioned. Anger towards the Kami had sprung out when the deities created creatures - humankind - that far surpassed the beauty and intelligence of the mononoke the Meinar had made. In a fit of jealousy, the Meinar began devouring all the humans the Kami had created. But the Kami overtook them and absorbed their power to save humankind. Not all Meinar had been beaten, only five. The three remaining had gone into hiding and were awaiting the appropriate time to attack the Kami and take back what was rightfully theirs. It was also rumored that while they waited for their chance, they surfaced every few hundred years to take an enormously strong soul that would give them a small fraction of the powers they once possessed. Unfortunately for them, this power only lasted a few days and then they would be drained once more.

Taking a few steps back, I kneeled and placed my palms together in prayer. Preparing myself, I took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Holy power burning bright; water, fire and blade, charge my soul, fill it with might. Here and now the transfer is made. Wave and tree, hedge and flame, strength of the Kami gather here to bless this messenger and empower her well to complete your will far and near. Mystic Moon and Brilliant Sun send your power here this way. Gracious Lord, Mighty Lady, bless this messenger that pleads to you. Kami that are, Kami that be, gather around this servant. Empower my working three times three. Send me forward to see me succeed. Your will shall be!"

I felt my self detach from my body as I stood. There was immense power flowing through me. In this form, I felt no limitations, no barriers. It was as if I could release my entire energy without the fear of killing something or someone. Although Tanaka-sensei had prepared me for these kinds of battles, I was never allowed to use them unless absolutely necessary. The incantation allowed for only spiritual energy to be used. If the user was not strong enough it would kill it. I had seen its effects on strong beings and only a handful had returned alive, only to remain in a comatose state for the rest of their lives. More than anything, while the soul was the one battling, the physical body could also feel the pain and receive the scars. In my case, there were so many possible consequences. Mostly, Tanaka-sensei feared that once my soul was detached from my body, the Shikon no Tama would try to merge with me. Apparently he had been wrong.

I chanced a glance at my body. It felt like walking in a dream. I gazed down at my physical form. I looked like I was asleep sitting down.

Making sure that the barrier to the passage was strong, I passed through it. No sooner had I left its confines when the creature dove down towards me giving an eerie shriek. It was a mixture between a woman's scream and a dragon's. It missed me by a hair's width.

Calling my power to my fists, I charged them with my power and threw balls of energy at it. It was fast and with it being able to fly, it was even harder. Some time into the fight, I realized that there was a good thing and a bad thing. The good thing was that, while in this form, my powers had no effect on the physical world or else the area we had been battling would have been nothing but a patch of black dirt. The bad thing was that I had not even made a scratch. While my powers were practically limitless in this form, I realized that the Kami weren't letting me use the full of them. _Damn them a million times over!_

It had already dove down several times and cut me across the chest. On another occasion it had grabbed my arm and swung me to the wall of the mountain, successfully pulling it out of its socket from the force of the throw. I had a cut across my brow where it tried to gauge out my eye.

It laughed at my crouched position and called out mockingly. "Tired already miko? Karato is has only been playing." Its voice was that of a child. Probably the one that it had absorbed.

If I didn't hurry and kill it, the child would be lost._ Of course, nothing in my life ever turned out the way I wanted._

Gasping for air, I called upon my power. There was no way I was letting it beat me. "Hell, no. I'm giving you time to rest. I'm only getting started. You see," - I tried stalling as my power continued to gather - "I'm hoping for more pain. No pain no gain, right?"

It looked at me with disdain. "Brothers were right. Miko truly suffers from insanity. But all the exercise is worth the great power you possess."

I managed a pitiful snort. "Insanity?" I laughed at the idea. "A condition many say I suffer from after being alone for so long. But I don't suffer from my insanity - I enjoy every minute of it."

Narrowing its red eyes, it was about to dive again but it stopped. It smirked. "Looks like Karato found another tastier and better prey than human child while Karato obtains miko's soul."

"What the hell are you- " I swallowed hard.

_Things truly never went my way!_ I groaned miserably.

I saw him enter the area as if looking for something. _Damn. Why was __**he**__ here?_ He wouldn't be able to see Karato coming at him. I turned back to the Meinar, barely catching a glimpse of it as it headed directly for the youkai. I wouldn't reach it in time. It would absorb him and I would never be able to kill it.

The Meinar probably saw me running in its direction, my fists glowing with power. It threw two of its black claws. One went through my thigh and I barely managed to evade the other that cut the side of my neck.

_Dear Kami! Don't let anything happen to him! SAVE HIM!_

Panic and desperation kindled something inside me. Before I was pulled in the direction of my body's hideout, I could have sworn the jewel shone with an intense light. The next thing I knew, I was reliving my nightmares and the stupid inu youkai was inside them, too.

We were in the village, after I had killed all the people. He turned to look back at me when the young child passed by him. A mixture of anger and shame overtook me as I grabbed his neck and held him up in the air. He looked down at me.

Half-smirking, I whispered. "Puppy, came back to play?"

He couldn't speak, both from the surprise and the hand blocking his airway. I hissed at him. "Stay out of my head, dog!"

We were both brought back to our own bodies. He crawled to the wall and leaned back, all the while coughing. He looked up at me after staring worriedly at the hole in my thigh.

"You okay?" My voice was barely above a whisper. I felt my entire form scream in agony as I moved to kneel before him. He had a cut across his left upper arm. It didn't look good, but I don't think he noticed as his gaze returned to my own wound.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"What the hell were you thinking coming here?! Do you want to die?" I was so angry. He could have been seriously injured. The Meinar could have...

I didn't even want to think about it. I didn't want him dead - at least for now. Not that the Kami wouldn't want an explanation for this and probably another lashing. But I suppose it might just beat the monotony for now.

"I was worried." He stiffened.

I don't know who was more shocked by his words. His eyes moved slowly towards mine. We didn't move for a long time. I didn't want to know what he meant by that and by the look on his face, neither did he.

He stared back to the place where Karato and I had been battling. "What is that?"

I frowned at him. "You can see it?"

He nodded his head. "I hadn't when I first came but now I can." He looked at me again. "So, what is it?"

"It's a Meinar. Haven't you ever seen one?"

"No. Should I?'

I shrugged. "You're old. I'd figure you'd at least heard of one."

He glared at me. "I'm not _that_ old. And that doesn't mean I've seen or heard about all kinds of youkai. I usually stopped listening when our teachers talked about history."

I smiled and I didn't know why. I could easily imagine all three brothers sitting in a room, looking completely bored and making fun of their sensei. I shook the image from my mind and explained to him about the creature and about how I had been battling it.

The inu youkai glanced again at the Meinar that was yelling angrily for me. "What are you going to do now? You're really weak and it doesn't look fazed at all."

"I'm going out there again and - "

He sprung forward and grabbed my shoulders. "You can't! He'll kill you in the state you're in! Do _you_ want to die?" The gut-twisting feeling was there but we both ignored it.

"Why do you care, Ujio? With me dead, Sesshoumaru is free to mate whoever the hell you think is good for him."

He stood and turned his back to me as he looked at the Meinar screaming outside of the barrier.

* * *

"_What the hell were you thinking coming here?! Do you want to die?" She was livid. He realized, though, that the anger wasn't reflected in her mesmerizing lavender eyes._

_In fact, it seemed that she had been worried he would die. She had, after all, gotten him out of the way before he was injured more seriously. _

_Ujio answered without thinking. "I was worried."_

_He froze as the words passed his lips. While true, he had never thought to confess such a thing to the very woman that made his world such a mess. Slowly, moving his gaze toward hers, he found her just as surprised at him. Her pale face was suddenly covered in a soft pink hue and her lips were slightly parted._

_Kami, she was beautiful. Mentally berating himself for those horrible thoughts he looked away. He stared at the area where the weird creature was busy looking around. "What is that?"_

"_You can see it?" She sounded skeptic._

_He nodded once. "I hadn't when I first came but now I can." Ujio turned to her. "So, what is it?"_

"_It's a Meinar. Haven't you ever seen one?"_

_He searched inside his head for the forgotten lessons from his childhood. "No. Should I?"_

_Kagome shrugged. "You're old. I'd figure you'd at least heard of one."_

_He was appalled by her answer. "I'm not that old! And that doesn't mean I've seen or heard about all kinds of youkai. I usually stopped listening when our teachers talked about history."_

_She smiled unexpectedly and he was floored by the action. She appeared to go inside herself then. He wondered how she could seem so nonplussed when he could tell she should be on the ground screaming in pain. _

_Ujio glanced again at the Meinar that was shouting for the miko. "What are you going to do now? You're really weak and it doesn't look fazed at all."_

"_I'm going out there again and - " His chest tightened at the contact. He was all familiar with the barrier that Sesshoumaru's mark created._

_There was no way he was letting her out there. Without thought to his own personal safety, he grabbed her by the arms, trying to shake some sense into her. "You can't! He'll kill you in the state you're in! Do _you _want to die?"_

_She looked at him as if he'd suddenly grown another head. "Why do you care? With me dead, Sesshoumaru is free to mate whoever the hell you think is good for him."_

_He shouldn't care. He didn't. But that didn't mean he..._

_Ujio couldn't even finish that sentence himself. The truth was, __**he **__didn't even know what he wanted anymore. Maybe the situation would be different if she had been purposefully attacking someone. Here, however, she was trying to save a life. And on that last thought, his mind wandered to images of the village he had seen. _

_Even though a small part of him still wasn't completely positive Kagome hadn't killed all those people, he couldn't deny what he saw - what he felt. It was so much different than what he always imagined. In his mind, Kagome had been laughing like the lunatic she was, hacking at everyone in her way. He had seen her choking the life out of everyone and driving her sword through their stomach._

_Now, he knew, or rather, understood so much more. The Kagome he had seen was fragile, human. There had been so much anguish and hurt as she cradled the old crone's head in her arms. Had seen the way she had hugged herself just after the old woman had died and the cry of wrath that she bellowed. _

_No. That was not the reaction of a merciless killer. That was the reaction of someone that carried the guilt and hurt of the world on her shoulders. How did she live like this? Taking inside her all the blame. All the guilt. All the hatred._

_Maybe she wasn't completely innocent, but she wasn't as ruthless as everyone had made her out to be. Ujio turned around to face her again. She was looking intently at the creature, brows furrowed. "I'll fight with you."_

_Her eyes snapped in his direction. "You can't fight it. You won't even be able to see it. It'll devour you before you even blink."_

_He couldn't resist taunting her, even at a time like this. "Aww. You're worried about me."_

_She grunted. "Don't flatter yourself! If Karato absorbs your power, it'll be harder to fight him." She paused for a moment, then added. "Still, if he absorbs you, I have free reign to kill you." She smirked._

_Ujio graced her with his own smirk. He knew he shouldn't be enjoying this as much as he was, but it was hard to deny the delicious electricity that crackled when he was around her. _

_It was then that her words sank in. "What do you mean I wouldn't be able to see it? Didn't you hear me say I __**could**__ see it now?" He grabbed her chin, unconsciously, and turned her head to both sides. "Did the creature damage your ears?"_

_She glared at him, pushing his hand away with just a little too much force. "I can hear you fine. And the only reason you can see it is because you're inside this barrier. If you leave it, you won't able to see it anymore."_

_He shrugged like her. "Then do your magic and let's go."_

_She fixed him with a droll stare and wiped rapidly at the blood from his wound. Nonetheless, the gentleness of her action warmed something inside him. "I can't."_

"_Sure you can. Just do whatever you did to make yourself invisible. But this time, do it to me."_

_Kagome looked at him as if he were stupid. "You're a youkai, idiot. It doesn't work like that."_

_Why the hell was she so stubborn? Ujio had half a mind to tie her up until she succumbed. Those images, however, created a whole different scenario - one that included her, him and none of their clothes. He kicked himself for even thinking of something like that now. Instead, he thought about what she had said of the process she had used._

"_You told me that you use your soul to fight this creature, right?"_

_She fixed him with a less than amused stare. "Youkai don't have souls."_

_Ujio closed his eyes and counted to ten. She really knew how to try one's patience. "No, psycho-brat. But, we have a demonic essence, which is the closest thing to a soul. What if you used that?"_

"_Psycho-brat?" Kagome repeated. "Hmm, I like that."_

_The inu youkai was puzzled. She seemed to jump from topic to topic. It was like she was in a garden with different flowers and only picking out the ones she thought stood out. What an odd female. He'd never encountered anyone like her. It made her even more interesting._

"_So?"_

"_So what?"_

_He heaved. "Are you going to do it or not?"_

* * *

"So?"

"So what?"

Ujio blew out a breath of exasperation. _I loved trying his patience!_ Though I had to admit I didn't know why. "Are you going to do it or not?"

Of course I didn't want to. If the Meinar found a way to eat him, I might loose. Even worse, was that it could use Ujio as ransom for the jewel. Right now, however, I really didn't have an option. With Ujio's help I just might save the kid. But if I was wrong...

I shook my head and taunted him. "You sure it doesn't scare you too much?"

He appeared offended but he didn't deny it either. "Just do it already."

Limping to his side, I pushed him down to kneel with me. I gritted my teeth as the wound stretched. "I'm not sure this is actually going to work but if it doesn't, then I want you to run out of here like a bat out of hell. Got that?"

He looked at me as if I was speaking in anything other than Japanese. "Like a _what_ from _where_?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Just run and don't look back."

"I'm not leaving you fighting by yourself. I'm not a coward."

"As touching as that was, I'm not asking you. I'm telling you to get out of here the moment this doesn't work! I can't be worrying about you, too!"

He would have argued, I'm sure, but my confession left him speechless. He whispered a moment later, head bowed, hands fisted in his lap. "I'm not leaving you."

"Fine. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

I stood on my knees but my body protested the movement and a soft cry escaped my lips. Ujio noticed and stared at the opening on my thigh. "We need to take care of that before we go out there."

"It's nothing."

"Well, I sure hope I don't ever come across Nothing. I'd seriously hate to feel the way you look."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I said it's nothing."

"Maybe. But you'll only be a burden to me in that state."

Scowling, I moved in front of him. "The only burden here is you."

Probably sensing that I was going to argue no matter what, he pushed himself back a little and then, using his claws, tore a hole on the pants of my chihaya. I immediately voiced my indignation. "What do you think you're doing?!"

He looked up at me, his face inches from my bare thigh, and replied calmly. "I'm going to close the wound."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" My face was probably the color of a tomato.

"I'm going to lick it close."

I choked and pulled his face up. "I don't think so, Rex."

He smiled - a true smile. It made him look even more handsome. Then he sobered. "You want to beat it, don't you?"

Thinking about the child's safety, I groaned and let his face go. "If you touch anything else besides the wound, I'll rip your tongue out and then stuff it down your throat."

He smiled again. And I decided then that I would make sure I never said anything that made that hypnotizing smile appear again. "Your loving words send shivers down my spine."

Ujio pulled down and started licking my leg. An involuntary jolt shot up to my heart. _The mating mark, I suppose._ I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything except his tongue. But it was useless. The rough texture of it reminded me of Sesshoumaru and all the things we had done. I felt him stiffen then. However, he returned to what he was doing, more quickly this time.

Some minutes later, he straightened but wouldn't look at me. His breathing was erratic and his aura was pulsing. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. "Let's do this."

He looked at me then and the white of his eyes had turned black and his irises were green. I was taken aback by the change. Blinking the stupefied look in my eyes, I licked my lips and watched him follow the movement with his eyes. I nodded once. "Put your palms together in front of you as if in prayer." As soon as he did, I covered them with mine. Another pain, similar to the one I usually felt around other men, twisted my stomach. "Close you're eyes and call out your essence to the surface. Hold it there until I can reach it."

As I closed my eyes and concentrated, I found him in a dark place. He was being held down by an invisible force. This part of Ujio seemed too deadly and menacing with its black eyes and searing green irises that felt like they were just waiting for me to free it so it might shred me to pieces. Half of his face was covered in some weird markings and his claws were much longer than usual. I closed the distance rapidly.

"Ujio. Let it go. I can take it from here." The inu youkai must have hesitated but he eventually did.

And when he did, I held it with both arms as it squirmed and bared its fangs at me. While extremely strong, I knew I could have overpowered him more easily if Sesshoumaru's mark wasn't trying to separate us. I tried to concentrate as I heard my outer self chanting the incantation once more.

_This time however, it was me that would be in for a surprise_.

A blast of yellow light exploded before me and when I opened my eyes, I discovered that I was running happily inside a huge hall. I was holding the hand of a beautiful demoness with red hair, blue eyes and pale skin. She was laughing with me and encouraging me to run faster.

I felt myself smiling and obeying her. A joy, similar to the one I hadn't felt since my mother lived, filled my entire being. After we made a turn, we stopped in front of a huge door. I giggled. She squatted down to me and put her finger to her lips still smiling. "Shh, my Ujio. Remember that we want this to be a surprise for your sire."

The words that I was still chanting echoed distantly. They served to remind me that this was not one of my memories. I was inside Ujio's head, but even if I wanted to leave, I couldn't until Ujio pushed me out or it ended.

Painful moans brought my attention back. I looked up at the demoness that had stopped with her hand on the door. I smiled at her and whispered excitedly. "Hurry, okaa-san. Chichi-ue will be up soon!"

The inu demoness pushed open the door at the sound of a woman screaming. I remained rooted to the spot, too terrified to even think of the real reason behind that sound. As the doors opened, I saw my father on the back of a woman as he continued pushing against her, unaware of the two spectators at the entrance. But, then I turned to see my mother growl darkly and bolt towards them.

The last words of the chant pushed me out of the dream/memory. Nevertheless, I had seen enough. Understood enough...

* * *

_He was looking at his father through the translucent veil of curtains that surrounded their bed. He'd been too young then to even understand what it was that his father was doing. But the next day he knew. He had overheard the servants as they whispered the truth._

_Too overwhelmed by the painful memories he forced himself out of there. He hadn't been alone this time. She had been there. Kagome had seen what had happened and it was all he needed to get out before she saw all the other horrible things that followed._

_Ujio came awake. He focused his eyes and realized that he was lying on top of something soft and warm. He lifted his head and came face to face with a glaring miko. "Do you mind keeping yourself off me?"_

_He picked himself up and extended his hand to her. She ignored it and dusted herself off. She jiggled her leg, trying it out. "Use any kind of power that you have. Don't try to kick it or punch it. Its skin is as thick and hard as rock." With a final glance at their bodies, she walked forward. "Don't die on me, inu youkai."_

_He ran after her and as soon as the Meinar saw them, it smirked and dove towards them. He ran at the creature only to crash with Kagome's back. She whirled around quickly and pushed him to the side. The creature managed to bury one of its claws in her but not before receiving a blow of her blue energy ball on its shoulder. The Meinar screamed in pain and perched itself on top of a giant boulder._

"_Why did you push me away? I can fight too without your help!" He yelled angrily at her._

_She pulled out the claw, tossing it to the ground and hissing as it burned her hand. She ran to his side and whispered. "I set a trap at the center. If you had ran inside it, you would have been trapped and purified. There would have been nothing for me to do."_

_He was stupefied by her actions. She went on and on about how much she hated him and wanted him dead. And yet, for all that talk, she was going out of her way to save him? He shook his head. "Tell me where __**not**__ to step."_

"_I can't tell you without giving it away to him, too. Just stay behind me all the time. I'm going to stand at the edge the entire time."_

_They turned just in time to leap in opposite directions. It turned in Kagome's direction. She ran at the edge of the trap, firing at him one after another with all the power she could. She was weakening fast and Karato knew it. With a quick movement, it fired another one of its claw at her, pinning her to the ground. _

_Ujio used the small distraction from him to climb on the boulder behind the creature and jump on him. The added weight made Karato unbalanced and he slowly began descending. The inu youkai called on his power. His hands wrapped around the Meinar's neck as fire gathered at his claws. _

_Karato's painful screams pierced the area. It squirmed, as it wrestled with Ujio and began dropping at an alarming rate. _

_Kagome had been awed by the realization that the inu youkai could summon fire at will. She hadn't known he wielded one of the elements. It made her wonder what else he could do. The Meinar's shrieks caught her attention and it was then that she became conscious of the situation. Glancing back and forth between the two in the air and the trap, she pulled the claw from her side and ran to the center of the trap._

"_Get off him, Ujio!"_

_The inu youkai made no signs of acknowledgement as it continued battling in mid-air with the Meinar. Even though the Meinar was visibly losing, it managed to graze Ujio's cheek and tear at his stomach. Ujio was alternating between burning him and choking him with his miasma. He was fighting fiercely; his eyes were still black and green._

_She tried again as they neared the ground. "Ujio! Let him go!"_

_Still, he didn't budge. Kagome looked around desperately, trying to find something to pull them apart but she came up empty handed. She could use all her power, but that would also take down the inu youkai. Looking up again, they were almost on top of her. Without further thought, she blasted Ujio from him, as Karato fell and grabbed her._

_The area lighted up with a blue Choku Rei and erected a barrier with both the miko and the Meinar inside. Suddenly, blue streaks of light burst out of the ground and traversed the body of the Meinar. Kagome lifted her head and watched the creature shake and scream in agony as its body was being destroyed._

_Ujio opened his eyes when the shrieks of the Meinar reached his sensitive ears. As his eyes focused, he realized Kagome was slowly making her way to the creature. However, when she neared him, it gripped her ankle and the blue streaks that had been destroying him, slowly began to pierce her skin. Even though it had lost, it seemed to want to take the miko down with him._

_The miko gritted her teeth but she didn't voice her agony. There was no need. It was etched in her every pore. Despite the torture, she dug her hand inside its chest and began pulling at something. _

_Ujio moved towards them but was repelled by the barrier. He tried to burn it down to no avail. He tried clawing at it. He could only watch her struggle. He had never felt so helpless in his life since the day his mother died. In spite of the anger she seemed so readily to tap within him, he couldn't envision a world without the crazy miko anymore._

_The Meinar was dying fast, but somehow managed to reach for Kagome's chihaya and pull her face to his. "Do not think for a minute that miko won! The real victor in this battle was Karato. Tell your masters this is far from over." It half-laughed, half-choked before disappearing in a black explosion._

_The moment the Meinar was gone, the barrier disappeared and Ujio was sucked back to his body. He inhaled sharply as his senses returned. With it came the immense pain and the internal exhaustion. _Damn_. If that was what spiritual battling felt like, he'd choose scars and holes in his body any time of the day._

_The sound of loud cursing made him look ahead. He lifted himself quickly to check it out. But, the moment he was on his two feet, the world spun around him._

"_Damn - " was the last word before he fell to the ground with a thud. _

* * *

When the black cloud disappeared, I was transported back to my body. The instant I opened my eyes, I rushed back where I'd been moments before despite the immense pain wracking my body. There lay the body of a small boy, five years old at least. I checked for a pulse but there was none. Putting my hands on his little chest, I concentrated my power to my hands and let it seep into his body.

I was weak, hurt and almost completely drained of my power. That didn't stop me from using every last ounce of energy to try and wake him up. For several minutes, I did everything I could to bring him back. A small voice inside my head kept repeating for me to blow air in his little mouth. As crazy as it sounded, I obeyed. Anything to get him to blink his opened eyes.

It was no use. I knew all along that the child's soul was lost.

My face hardened as I closed his eyes and pushed myself off the ground cursing at the four winds. "You send me here and yet you refuse to save him?! What kind of Gods are you! Damn all of you! Does it please you so much to see me lose, huh? You sadistic bastards! Answer me!"

A half curse and a loud thud made me turn. "Damn - "

Ujio was on the ground in an instant. I ground my teeth in anger. "Just like your brother, huh? You come around without asking, trying to play hero by saving me. Instead, I have to be the one to save you both. Stupid dogs."

I removed the outer portion of my chihaya and covered the body of the child. I shivered. It was getting colder and my frail state didn't help. Not to mention that only yesterday I'd had another painful episode and my body had still been trying to recover. I was hungry - not for food though. It been weeks since my last feeding. My head was throbbing and everything was spinning but I needed to get out of this place. We were too close to the city for my own comfort and Kazuo would surely be coming my way. Hopefully the houshi had better luck eradicating the other Meinar. A portion of me wanted to go and ascertain that Kazuo was still alive but leaving Ujio like this was nagging at my growing conscious. Besides, the child deserved a proper burial.

Tying my chihaya to serve as a sling, I tucked the child to my front. I pulled Ujio over my back and walked up the slope with both bodies. I'm sure I made a funny image with a six foot six inu youkai on my back but that was the least of my worries right now. My feet felt like stones and it was really hard to breathe. I fell down several times but I refused to give up. Every time, I picked up the inu youkai and slung him over my back.

Five hours later (which really should have taken me an hour) I reached the other side of the mountain. I dropped the man without caring if I hurt him more. _Serves him right_. He had no business following me around. I undid the knots of the makeshift sling and carefully placed the child on the ground. I wandered off a few feet from them, alert the entire time while I picked up the herbs that grew in this particular location. I picked up two flat pieces of rocks and took them back with me.

Sitting next to the inu youkai, I arduously began working on the herbal remedy that would help the inu youkai with his wounds. An injury from a creature like the Meinar did not heal on its own. Even the strongest youkai couldn't recover from such injuries.

My eyes began to close and I could hear the drumming of my heart in my ears. I hurried and placed five small drops of my blood in the mixture. With trembling hands, I opened his kataginu and kosode to reveal a torso rippling with taut muscles. Even with the five nasty gashes across his abs, I had to whimper at the delicious sight before my eyes.

_I definitely needed Sesshoumaru back._

I grabbed a small portion of the paste and put it on his stomach and on his cheek. His eyes opened to reveal the same black and green that his essence had had. He grasped my wrist and stared hypnotically at my lips, growling low. His touch sent jolts of electricity through my entire body. My breathing quickened. I became aware of the familiar sensation that pricked at the back of my eyes before they shifted to silver.

My eyes darted to his neck. To the pulsing vein that sung sweetly to me. I licked my lips.

_Just one bite. Just one taste. Just one sip and the pain will go away... _

Wiping the fogginess in my brain, I shut me eyes and willed the voices of the Kami to go away.

The pressure of his fingers on my wrist disappeared. I looked down at him and noticed that he had again passed out. _Thank Kami!_

I crawled to the body of the child after making sure that his wounds were covered in the paste. I didn't bother making more for my wounds. With any luck, I'd finally get my wish and die. _It was wishful thinking, I knew_. The Kami would be angry at me, but they'd rather suffer with my existence than grant my wish. Where else would they find a slave like me?

Gathering the lifeless body, I let my eyelids close. I'd never felt this tired. Then again, I had never fought anything remotely close to this kind of power. The only other time I'd felt this physically drained was when Sesshoumaru and I...

I smirked. Definitely not a time to be thinking about those kinds of things. Especially as mad as I was with Sesshoumaru not being the one here and with the constant worry of when the Kami would come to collect because I had mated Sesshoumaru.

"_Go home and get stoned. _

_We can end up making love instead of misery. _

_Go home and get stoned. _

'_Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me." _

I didn't even know why those words came to my head then or why I even sang them. Had no idea what that first line meant, either. I just knew them and the rhythm of the song but the rest of it was a blur.

But I was still weak and my mind might have been playing tricks on me. Using the last of my power, I erected a barrier around us and dozed off to sleep.

My sleep was filled with nightmares of the past and the usual visit from the only faceless being not afraid of me that partly healed my wounds while I slept.

* * *

_Darkness. A soothing voice..._

"_Go home and get stoned. _

_We can end up making love instead of misery. _

_Go home and get stoned. _

'_Cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me."_

_The words of the song echoed softly in his head. The voice was sensual, full of life. It felt like the one who sang them knew exactly what they were talking about. He furrowed his brow. _

'_Get stoned? What the...'_

_Then he slipped off into unconsciousness once more. The words and its meaning put away for later examination..._

_There was so much pain. His limbs felt so heavy and the air that entered his lungs burned his insides. Whatever thing had used him as chewing toy, had really done their job. Little by little, he became aware of his surrounding. He had yet to open his eyes, but judging by the sounds of the animals and the scents in the air he knew he was inside a small forest. There was also a small fire burning beside him. He still didn't open his eyes. It required an energy that he didn't have at the moment._

_As he lay there, his mind slowly replayed the last few hours. Ujio saw himself sparing with Juro and getting beat up because his brother had been angry and taken it out on him. He remembered going over battle tactics with his chichi-ue out on the training grounds. Then he had gone to visit one of his favorite demoness in the youkai village a few minutes from their home. Except that the moment he would have taken her behind her parents home, he pushed her away. He had sprinted back to the Crescent Moon, bathed and told his father that he had something personal to take care of._

_The Inu no Taishou never liked to get involved in their sexual life, so he simply let them sate their hungers - to a certain extent of course. _

_And as he ran, with no particular destination, it dawned on him that he did, indeed, have a destination. _

_Kagome..._

_With a sudden bolt, he sat up. He blinked. The action caused his world to spiral rapidly. He held his head in both hands, waiting for the cyclone to cease. After it did, he looked down to his stomach where a ripped cloth was tied around his torso. Undoing the knots, he opened it to reveal pink scars. As he further unraveled the cloth that had been used to cover the wound, he was horrified to find that it was his kosode. Or at least, what __**had been**__ his kosode._

_Ujio turned his head looking for the miko._

_For a moment, he stopped breathing at the sight before him. To his right, the miko lay slumped against the bark of a tree. In her arms, there was a small child. Her face was so pale and her lips were an odd shade of blue. Her hair was almost completely covered in snow and her otherwise white kosode spotted blood on her upper right chest and on her lower left side._

_Kagome looked like she was sleeping. Gone were the usual scowl and its frightening demeanor. In its place was the epitome of stilled beauty in all its glory and perfection. Was that what Sesshoumaru had seen? Had he been able to see beyond the daily façade and see the lost and troubled female?_

_The smell of death reached his nose. Panic unlike he'd encountered in his two hundred years, wrapped around his heart. Did she die? Did she die fighting the Meinar? Did she die from the wounds it had inflicted on her? Did she die using her powers to save him? Did she save him instead of saving herself?_

_A lump formed in his throat as he slowly crawled toward the two bodies. The feat caused a crippling ache in his stomach but he ignored it as he crept closer. The smell intensified, but because of the snow, he didn't know which of the two, if not both, the stench was coming from. _

_When he was directly across them, he sat on his heels. He reached out to her first, but his hand stopped numerous times before touching her. He didn't want to know if she was dead. For that would mean she had died because of him. That would mean she wouldn't ever look at him again with that intense lavender gaze. That would mean she wouldn't argue with him ever again. That would mean that he would never hear her melodic voice again. That would mean he would never be able to say..._

_He shut his eyes tightly as emotional pain overrode the physical. Growling in rage, he punched the tree she was lying against. Both of his fists were buried inside the bark. He laid his forehead against her cold one. A moment later, he felt a push of energy twist his stomach. He hissed._

"_You're hot." A raspy voice said._

_Ujio tensed. He didn't want to open his eyes for fear that his mind was playing games on him. _

"_Haven't I warned you enough times to keep your distance? I don't like it when people touch me." Again the hoarse voice cautioned, stronger this time._

_The inu youkai opened his eyes and was caught in the depths of violet oceans. He chuckled and cupped her face. He caught himself an instant before he pulled her lips to him. She was still weak and hadn't noticed what he almost did._

"_You're making me hot." She repeated feebly._

_He pushed himself to the side and off her. Sitting next to her, he breathed a sigh of relief. "It's my charming smile. But do try to keep your hands to yourself. You are mated to my brother after all."_

_Kagome's hand punched his abs. It wasn't a strong hit, but it felt like someone had dropped a house on him. He grunted and she turned her head to the side. "You're pathetic. Crying over a small superficial cut! I'd like to you see take a real beating!"_

_He chuckled again despite himself. Right now, he was just happy she was still breathing and as irritating as usual. For now, he could admit that much to himself. "Yes, well, forgive me if am not as insane as someone who lives for the pain."_

"_Pain doesn't hurt." He sobered at the seriousness and hurt in her tone._

"_Is that what you told yourself when you were constantly beat up by those boys?"_

_The next movement had him staring at swirling silver eyes. Her hands were blocking his air intake. The second she spoke, he was paralyzed by the gritting fangs. "I told you to stay out of my head, dog!" She growled low in her throat. "If you ever tell anyone about what you saw, I'm going to make sure you never want to close your eyes at night! Got it?"_

_Her mating mark was wreaking havoc in his injured stomach and the loss of air was making him light headed. Even he knew when the odds were not in his favor. He stopped struggling and bared his throat at her. It was inu instincts that had him showing his neck in submission. He didn't realize that she probably didn't know what it was he was doing._

_His thoughts took flight when he felt her tongue lick the juncture of his neck, up to his chin. She laughed darkly. His youkai instantly surfaced. He felt his groin tighten despite the soreness in his abs. Her aura was shifting and lashing out with such a force that had his demon trying to break free and push her on the ground to mate her._

_Ujio was paralyzed once more when he felt her open her mouth over the vein in his neck. She suckled lightly and a satisfied whimper left her mouth. He wrapped his arms around her torso and pulled her delectable curves closer. _

_He wasn't prepared for the feel of fangs slowly pressing down on his neck._

* * *

Ujio chuckled softly beside me. I closed my eyes again. I had been having the nightmare of the village again when a burning sensation traveled all over my body. For a moment I had thought it was because of the fire in my dream but as I continued to burn, I heard a small hissing sound.

I had come awake with the inu youkai pressing his forehead against mine. There was intense pain in his features. And when I talked, his eyes snapped open. I was surprisingly relieved he still lived and was as annoying as ever. One of his comments had me punching him in the stomach. His painful groan made me turn to him.

"You're pathetic. Crying over a small superficial cut! I'd like to you see take a real beating!" _Really! Could he be more a cry baby?_

"Yes, well, forgive me if am not as insane as someone who lives for the pain."

"Pain doesn't hurt." _Loneliness did_.

He turned to look at me then, worry in his eyes. "Is that what you told yourself when you were constantly beat up by those boys?"

That was something I didn't see coming. His words triggered the humiliation and degradation that I usually kept under wraps. With it, usually came the anger that always threatened to kill. Before he could understand what was happening I was squeezing his neck. _Why did he have to say that?_

"I told you to stay out of my head, dog!" I felt my power and bloodlust returning. "If you ever tell anyone about what you saw, I'm going to make sure you never want to close your eyes at night! Got it?"

I felt the mark on my neck singe at the nearness of another male, but the darkness inside overrode it. Ujio turned to the side and the movement made my mouth water and my stomach growl.

It had been too long. I had been putting off the hunger and now my body was demanding it with an intensity that I couldn't restrain. His vein pulsed and it reverberated in my head. I felt my mouth near its destination. I didn't even know what I was doing until I was tasting his skin. _Gods, he tasted divine!_

With one long lick from the juncture of his neck up to his chin, I lost all common sense. I laughed and even my voice sounded different to my ears. His youkai instantly surfaced. His aura fought with mine for dominance. It was an exciting battle.

Kissing his neck I bit down playfully. He tensed even more before he growled and wrapped his hands around my waist, pulling me closer.

That was just the opening I needed. I opened my mouth and let my incisors press against the delicious flesh. The snow was falling faster now and it melted as it fell on his heated skin. It was as if it were raining instead of snowing.

Seconds before I cut his skin, I heard a voice inside my head.

'_Keh! It can't rain all the time, wench!'_

My eyes snapped open and reality came crashing down. What was I doing? This was a youkai! And not just any youkai, my husband's brother! In my delirium, I'd let my dark side take over.

I pushed myself off him and gathered the forgotten child's body. My head was still turning and though my entire powers had returned, I was trembling. I refused to look at him as I began to wrap the child again in the chihaya. The eerie silence made his ragged breathing sound ten times louder than it should have.

After a pregnant pause, he asked, "What are you going to do with the child?"

"There's nothing to do. He's dead. Just another worthless body for the insects in the ground and a waste of my time." I said in disdain.

"You don't have to sound so smug!"

Forcing myself to keep my back to him, I continued to tie the chihaya to my body as a sling once more. "That's reality. By the look of his rags, this child was probably some orphan the Meinar picked up on the street. He would have grown up to be a thief, an abuser of women or even a murderer. His environment wouldn't have allowed for anything more."

"You can't know that," he added.

I finished with the knots and then I turned to him. "Look, if you want to believe that there is good in everyone and that there is hope, then so be it. It's not my fault you can't see past your perfect little world. Here, in a little something I like to call the real world, crap happens and there is no god or living being that will risk their necks for you. You are born at the bottom, you die at the bottom. But I can't expect some pampered little prince like you to understand that."

Fury burned in his azure eyes at my blunt response. "You think my life has been perfect? You think social status makes everything easier? You think it buys peace of mind? Forgiveness?"

One side of my lips curved up mockingly. "I don't see you complaining. I don't see you giving out all your money or going out of your way to help a stranger. Or living out on the forest with nothing but the rags on your body to shelter you. Wondering day by day what you're going to eat when you have absolutely nothing. No. You're just a scared little puppy who thinks that his world came to an end because he found out that his father was a cheating bastard and not the high and mighty lord everyone thought."

He was frozen to his spot by his anger. I continued. "No. For all your talk of righteousness and disgust at what I am and do, you are just like everyone else. Just a self-serving idiot who thinks that his suffering is so much worst than anyone else's that they fail to see that they have everything to be happy right in front of them. They're just too stupid to see it." Giving him one last condescending stare, I added, "No. You're just a coward like all of them. Well, I've got two words for you, Rex - ."

Turning on my heel, I allowed my words to sink in.

"What about you? Who are you?"

He was walking behind me. I pressed my lips together. _These inu youkai were really stubborn_. "That's easy. I'm psycho-brat, remember?"

"Are you?"

Coming to a stop, I peered up at him as he caught up. "You've heard what everyone says. They all know that I've killed so many people. You saw the results yourself. Even now, you still think that I slaughtered my charges."

He blinked. "I think there's more to you than you let others know. I think that somewhere inside that black heart of yours lives a portion of that little girl I saw."

I wasn't going to let him anger me so easily again. "Well, if you see her some time, tell her to hide. Because if I find her, she's going to wish I had killed her along with all those other people."

This time I didn't let him continue poking holes in my head. I jumped down to the path below us and ran the rest of the way to the city. It was early morning and the air was freezing, but I embraced it. Hell, I'd been left naked outside in colder winter months at the monastery! This was like a day in the beach compared to those nights.

* * *

Kazuo met me at the entrance of Kotoku-in, the Buddhist temple he oversaw. I turned over the body to him and let him take care of finding his parents, if he had any.

I ran into Lana by the gate of the palace as she was coming back from the market. She asked about my whereabouts last night. Hearing about the missing child from the people in the market this morning she had readily assumed I had gone to retrieve it. I confirmed it and gave her a brief description of what had happened. Even going as far as telling her about the help from Ujio but excluding my slip.

"Does he know then that you didn't do all that they are accusing you of?"

"Lana, don't start with me. I told you already that I **did** do it and I made peace with it a long time ago. I don't care whether he or anyone else believes I did or not."

She only shook her head. "I will never believe that. No matter how many times you acknowledge it, I know the truth. My little girl would have **never** done something as atrocious as that. They wouldn't believe it either if they had seen your eyes when you came back here afterwards. Or heard you scream night after night because you were reliving the same thing over and over."

I pushed open the door to my shelter and went directly to the hole on the wall where fresh sets of chihaya were folded. Going into the bathing room, I filled the tub-like hole on the ground with the water that was in the buckets beside it. "You're little girl is dead. She was beheaded with her brother years ago. I'm nothing like that pitiful and stupid wretch."

Without any care, I pulled harshly at my clothes and ripped them off me. I jumped into the water, cooling my burning flesh.

"Kagome! This water is freezing! You're going to get sick!" She exclaimed wiping the hand she had dipped to test the water.

"Lana, please, leave me alone. I'm in no mood to be around anyone."

"Today or ever?"

"Do I even need to answer that?" I mumbled before immersing myself completely.

From underwater I heard her next question. "He hasn't come, has he? Sesshoumaru-sama, I mean."

I held my breath despite the constriction of my lungs caused by the cold water.

* * *

"_Lana, please, leave me alone. I'm in no mood to be around anyone." _

"_Today or ever?"_

"_Do I even need to answer that?" _

_Lana looked at her from her kneeling position next to her. Kagome looked exhausted and pale despite her constant confirmations that she took care of herself._

_There was always a crippling ache in her heart when she looked at the young woman inside the water. Lana loved her like she was her own child. Every time Kagome left, she felt her heart leap to her throat. She couldn't help worry about her all the time. She'd give anything to cut the chains that kept her tied to the Kami._

_But what she feared above anything was that her little girl was slowly dying inside. Every day saw her rotting inside, chipping away a tiny piece of her soul. That was why she thanked the heavens that Sesshoumaru arrived in her life. While not a match she would have foreseen or particularly liked, she had to admit that the young demon found a way to worm his way into the miko's cold heart. He alone had been able to reach her and try to break her from the darkness she seemed so eager to embrace._

_Lana would never understand why the gods would bestow Kagome with such burden. Kagome hadn't even been born when the transgressions of others had begun. She had been made the recipient of their ire. She had paid in blood for her parents' errors. Lana had hated them then. She had wished that her mother and father had never met. Midoriko should have never fallen in love with Kagome's father and condemned her daughter to the hell she was living. But Lana quickly realized that Kagome would not be here had they not crossed paths. As selfish as it sounded, despite knowing what Kagome was going to have to endure, she knew that a world without her little girl wasn't worth having. _

_Her little girl deserved happiness. After all the sacrifices she had made for others and because of others, she was more than worthy of love. All she could hope was that Sesshoumaru would be able to save her._

_She peered over the edge of the tub at the submerged girl. "He hasn't come, has he? Sesshoumaru-sama, I mean."_

_Kagome didn't move. She was stalling, she knew. But after all these years, Lana had learned to be patient with her ward. Just as she guessed, Kagome poked her head out and glared at a point across from her. Had she not been staring at the miko's face, she would have completely missed her answer. _

"_Iiee."_

_She extended her hand and cupped her chin, gently turning her face to look directly into her eyes. Smiling, she tried to offer solace. "He loves you, my little girl. He'll come soon enough. And so will Kirara. You'll just have to be patient for once."_

_It was one of those one in a billion moments when Kagome let her guard down. It was rare and fast. "I hope so, Lana. I miss them both so much."_

_Leaning down to place a motherly kiss on her forehead, she lingered. "They will."_

_Like she said, it __**was **__rare and fast. Scowl in place, she pushed her away. "Get out of here."_

_Lana took no offense to Kagome's response. It was seldom Kagome really meant her harsh words. Smiling at her even when she knew Kagome wasn't looking, she bowed and left her alone._

* * *

I was treading through the high-rise snow. Kazuo and Eriko followed far behind as we headed back to Kamakura. I could hear the girl's incessant chatter and Kazuo's deep laughter. As usual, I was in a foul mood. _Nothing new._

On this particular occasion, nonetheless, I was beyond seething. We had been urgently called to exorcise the grandchild of a daimyo on a city six days away. To my ever scaling irate, the instant we reached the large home, the daimyo greeted us at the entrance with a smile from ear to ear. He offered food and a room to stay the night since we had arrived late in the afternoon. Politely declining, Kazuo explained that we only came to do our job because we were needed elsewhere. I just stood in back of him, arms crossed as I fixed him with a dark stare.

He kept balancing himself from foot to foot. That and the smile should have tipped me off. The daimyo began by apologizing for the urgency of his message and then thanking us for responding so quickly and making such a long journey.

A moment later, he fell to the floor in front of me. "You see, your highness. My granddaughter...she is young...and...and...and...she likes to play games - "

I _really_ didn't want to know the answer to my own question but if he kept beating around the bush, we were not going to leave anytime soon. Through gritted teeth, I asked. "She's not possessed, is she?"

He was shaking like a leaf. "Well...technically, no." He chuckled nervously.

Eriko giggled but quieted when I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Technically?"

The daimyo lifted his face. "Please understand, Kagome-sama, she's only seven...she let's her imagination fly...a-and s-she sometimes...sometimes says things...sees things that aren't real."

Kazuo had to hold me back as I growled at the daimyo that had fallen back on his rear. He was slowly moving back. The guards had come to see what was happening when they heard him yelp. As soon as their eyes landed on me, they froze on the spot.

Whispering to calm me down, Kazuo kept a hand out to keep me from advancing but remembering to keep the contact to my person to a minimum. "We understand." I snorted and he glared at me then turned back to the scared man on the floor "We understand and we don't take any offense to this."

"I do!" I fumed.

"I don't!" Eriko quipped.

"Kagome-sama, please." Kazuo's eyes pleaded.

Scoffing, I began walking back. The houshi apologized and offered his blessings to the man and his household.

And so, now, I was practically melting the snow that blocked my path. Most of the way I had been cursing at the infuriating man. Some time later, both Kazuo and Eriko caught up. The snow had started to fall again and if we didn't find some shelter soon we'd be completely buried. It was already up to our thighs.

"Come, Kagome-sama. You can't possible be upset over that little incident? It was an honest mistake. There is no way Lord Yoshi could have known his grandchild wasn't possessed," he said gently, lifting his straw hat to see better.

I was still bristling. I pretended to ignore him. Besides, I didn't like to talk. That was why I preferred to travel alone. Eriko was happy listening as Kazuo kept trying to start up a conversation with me. Nevertheless, I refused. Why would anyone want to chat with me anyways?

"Kagome-sama?" Eriko pulled the hood of my black cloak (which she was wearing) away from her face.

I almost whimpered. _Why oh __**why**__ did the Kami not just send their usual punishment? Why did they have to send this child?_ "What do you want?" I snapped.

"Can I sing our song?"

I just wanted them to stop bothering me. Maybe if she entertained herself and Kazuo, they'd just leave me in peace. "Sure. Whatever," I tossed.

She squeaked happily. "Nama no naka. Mori no naka. Kaze no naka - "

My eyes almost fell out of their sockets when I realized my mistake. I hurriedly clamped a hand on her mouth. _How could I have forgotten she mentioned Sesshoumaru in that song?_

"On second thought, I don't think that song is such a good idea," I added in one rushed sentence.

"Why not? It sounded promising," Kazuo questioned.

"I just don't like it."

Eriko peeled off my hand and glared at me. I hid my smile. A glare would never become her. It disappeared easily, though. "Will you sing to us then?"

"No."

"Please?" she whined.

"No."

"But you - "

"No."

Kazuo joined her, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Please?"

"No."

She insisted, pulling down on my sleeve. "Just - "

"I SAID N - " All three of us stilled.

Eriko's hand gripped tightly at the edge of my sleeve. "Kagome-sama?" There was a bit of fear laced in her words.

Instinctively, I pulled her back between Kazuo and me. "Erect a barrier just like we've been practicing. Whatever you do, don't try to attack. No matter what, stay close enough but don't get in the way."

"Hai." She moved to the side, her back against a giant tree.

"It's coming towards us fast, Kagome-sama." Kazuo removed the hat and tossed it aside.

"Look out for the girl. I'll do the dirty work."

He knew he really didn't have an option. It was no surprise any and all attacks had one objective - the jewel. Which meant I was the one they went after.

The monk ran in front of Eriko and waited, shakujo (staff) in hand. I glanced back and nodded to them. He nodded back. I reached back for both naginata.

Right away, an orange blur ran around us. It stopped between the monk and me. It was a cheetah youkai. She didn't look like much yet her youki said otherwise. Her skin was bronzed and covered with black and yellow spots. Her hair was a vibrant yellow that matched her eyes to perfection. She was wearing a strange black kimono, the type of which I'd seen only in one place. She flashed a cocky smile.

"So you're the psycho-miko?" she asked in the tongue of the Mainland. It confirmed my previous assumption about her origin. "I don't understand what all the uproar was about. You're nothing but a sack of flesh and bones."

She wasn't the first to think that way of me and probably not the last. "Yeah, yeah. Less talk, more fighting."

The demoness paced around me, taking her time sizing me up. "You're a cocky little ningen, aren't you? Do you actually think you can beat me? What do you think you are?"

Tapping each naginata on either shoulder, I addressed her like one would address a child. "Let me give you the job description. Me, psycho-miko. You, demon. I hit. You bleed. I kill. You die."

She curled her lips at me. "Insolent whelp! Let me teach you how we dispose of your kind back home!"

She charged at me so fast, I barely managed to move sideways. Her claws did cut at my back. Her movements were quick, precise and utterly getting on my nerves. During the fight, I tried to land a kick to her mid section but she caught my ankle and swung me against a far away tree. The only time I was able to hit her, I barely made a scratch. She was sporting a small cut to her upper arm.

Her mocking laughter filled the area. I was losing and that did not equal a very happy miko. I couldn't slow her enough to cause any real damage and using my spiritual powers wasn't an option.

If I used my powers, I'd be debilitating the barrier that hid my mating mark. I hadn't had the time to prepare the concoction that would permanently hide my mating mark.

"Kagome-sama! Purify her!" _Easier said than done!_

I peered at Kazuo from the corner of my eye. It was the wrong thing to do. The demoness used the distraction to tackle me. When we were on the ground, she straddled me from behind and kept slashing at my back before turning me over. I tried my best to block her attacks, but most of them hit their mark. Blood was oozing from all the cuts to my face and upper body.

Suddenly she stopped and pinned my arms with her legs. She wrapped one clawed hand around my neck and squeezed. "Mmm. I love the smell of fear on my victims before they die!"

Smirking at her, I replied. "So do I."

"Admit that you've lost. Admit that you've finally met your match, psycho-hunter." She squeezed harder.

I grunted. "The only thing I'll ever admit to is insanity."

She lowered her face. Then, she inhaled. Her head jerked up and then she moved down again. "You smell like..." She frowned. "But you can't. It's impossible," she whispered. "You smell like..._him_."

Kazuo voiced his confusion. "Kagome-sama, what is she saying? I don't understand her." And it was a good thing he didn't speak the language much less understand it.

My stomach twisted. "I'll tell you what _you _smell like and it ain't pretty." She backhanded me. I laughed. "That the best you can do. Come on, kitty. I know you have it in you for more."

"My name is Chuntao not kitty!" She used her free hand to reach for the jewel.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "If you touch that jewel, your wish better be to have never crossed my path."

She smiled evilly down at me and whispered low. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy my wish! But I think I'll enjoy more the look on the general that dared turn me away when I show him the head of - "

She jumped off me then, roaring furiously and trying desperately to remove something at her back. "Kagome-sama! Now!" Kazuo yelled. He had thrown a hamafuda (purifying scroll) on her back.

It was Eriko's arrow that flew across the field and pierced the cheetah in her leg. The arrow was not sufficiently infused with spiritual power to purify the youkai. She roared and pulled the arrow out breaking it in two. Chuntao hissed at the monk and child before disappearing.

I whistled at her. "Hey, fur ball! I'm not done playing. Show yourself."

Chuntao's voice echoed in the area. "All in good time, demon-hunter, all in good time. You see, I'm not like the other's that cower and run from the big, bad psycho. I'm the big, bad cat who executes the psycho."

Her disembodied voice gave a dramatic pause. "You and that houshi have been merciless in your pursuit of my brethren and the time has come for you to know fear. By the time I finish with the two of you, you will be begging me to let you die."

I tried hard to locate her demonic aura, but I couldn't find it. It was as if she was all around us at the same time. The rapidly falling snow didn't do much to help either. I could barely see an inch from my nose. I needed to keep her distracted while I searched. I lowered my head and laughed. "Fuzzy-dearest, I have never begged a day in my life, and the sun will surely splinter before I ever plead for anything from the likes of you."

"Great pride," Chuntao said. "I so love punishing that crime."

"Tell me, do you care for the child?" She then asked.

I looked around the area. I stared fiercely all around. "I'm so going to enjoy killing you."

The cheetah youkai laughed. "I doubt you'll get the chance once your friends find out what you really are." There was an underlying meaning to her words. Somehow, deep down, there was that little voice that told me that her words had nothing to do with Sesshoumaru.

I cast a glance at Kazuo and Eriko that told them to keep quiet. "Is that your game? Pitting us against each other? You want to watch us fight?"

"Oh, no." Chuntao said. "Not my plan at all. If you kill each other, that would be fine by me, what I intend to do is expose you for what you are. You see, the demon-hunter is about to become the hunted and I'm going to thoroughly enjoy tracking you down and making you suffer. There is no place that you can hide that I won't find you."

I smirked. "You think you're capable of hunting me?"

"Oh yes. Yes, I do. You see. I know your weakness even better than you do."

"I have no weaknesses." My eyes fell on the two across from me. Kazuo knew he shouldn't move and I was thankful he wasn't trying to be a hero.

The cheetah laughed. "Spoken like a true demon-hunter. But all of us have a weakness, especially the messengers of the Kami. Even as their leader, you are no exception."

I swore I could almost hear her lick her lips in satisfaction. "Your greatest weakness is your nobility. Humans hate you, yet you won't kill them to free yourself. While they try to kill you, you guard them from us with your life." Chuntao laughed evilly. "You can't resist a human in peril, can you?"

"Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy." I tsked at her. "What do you take me for?" I pushed my aura outward hoping it would bump into hers.

"Don't you dare take that flippant tone with me? And stop mocking my name!"

"Why ever not?"

"Because I'm not some scared little demon to run cringing from you. I am your worst nightmare."

Scoffing, I continued to make her angry. Maybe then she'd show herself. "Must you resort to such common and boring expressions? C'mon Fur-Tao, couldn't think of anything more original than those old bad guy lines?"

A furious snarl echoed in the area. "Stop making fun of my name!"

"Sorry, you're right. The least I could do is show you respect before I expire you."

"Oh you won't expire me, psycho-hunter. You are the one who will die this time. Have you given thought to how much they are going to slow you down? Not to mention that even you can't be in two places at once. They are going to be your downfall. You have never known suffering like the one I will inflict upon you."

My lips in a tight, firm line, I smiled at the youkai's threat. "You seriously overestimate your abilities."

"We shall see."

I felt the soft shift of the wind just before she appeared spontaneously, charging directly at me before changing direction. I lunged at the lone naginata on the snowy ground. I was too late though.

It had been a serious miscalculation. I saw two glowing daggers fly in separate directions as she lunged for Kazuo. The first dagger pinned my hand to a tree behind me. I watched the second dagger fly directly towards Eriko.

I doubted the child's barrier would block its path.

_NO!_

* * *

"_I don't think it's such a good idea that you go back to her."_

_He ignored his brother's angry comment. After all, Juro had been in the most foul of moods for the past moon cycle. Even, knowing what he knew, Juro had not been prepared to hear what their father had said on his return from the Southern lands. _

"_I'm not going to 'see' her. I'm going to make sure she isn't with another male."_

_Juro pushed him against the wall of his room and bared his fangs. "Don't lie to me, Ujio. The moment you returned five days ago, I smelled her on you, inside you."_

"_I was in close proximity to her, idiot. Of course, I would smell like her."_

_The red-haired inu youkai was easily loosing his patience. And that was a feat no one had ever been able to achieve. Not only had he received a confirmation to his long-time doubts but now had also found out that Ujio was hanging around Kagome. Two things about the latter made him fume._

_One. The miko was already mated to their brother. By inu youkai mating laws, no unmated male was allowed in such close proximity to an unescorted mated female. Two. Ujio had been stubborn about his dislike for the female and yet had gone out of his way, for no apparent reason, to seek her out. He claimed to be doing his job by guarding her while Sesshoumaru couldn't._

_So, why did that make Juro angry, one might ask?_

_Well, that was simple. She was mated...to their brother. In spite of what he had told Sesshoumaru, there had been a stab of jealousy when he'd realized that Kagome had chosen their younger brother. A minute part of him still felt it. Kagome had rapidly etched herself in his heart. The female was intelligent and passionate, everything a male like himself had envisioned in a mate._

_But now that she was mated, even he found himself wanting to challenge her claim. It was outrageous and yet he was more amazed that of all beings, Ujio had been the one to make the move he hadn't dared to make himself. _

_Juro glared at his brother. He was more than sure that black was seeping into his eyes. "Her scent is __**in**__ you, not __**on **__you! Gods, Ujio, what did you do?"_

_Ujio pushed his brother off him, leveling him with his own glare. As the eldest of the three brothers, his inu instincts were yelling at him to make Juro submit immediately. "I didn't mark her if that's what you're thinking! I'm not as stupid as Sesshoumaru as to bind myself to the likes of her."_

"_Then why do you seek her? And don't think those lies of yours are going to convince me. Remember who you're talking to." Juro closed his eyes and tried to regain control over his growing jealousy. "At least tell me why you are going to see her for a second time?"_

_Third time, actually. But Ujio wasn't going to let him know that. He opted for a safer excuse. "I told you that she didn't look well when I left her. You know how stubborn she can be. I like her just as much as I like venom for breakfast and the idea of seeing her is not something I'm looking forward to. Believe me. But she is pack now and we are in charge of making sure she stays alive." He glanced at a scowling Juro. "If not for her, then for our brother."_

_That sobered the red-haired inu. "Then, if you're going, I'm going, too."_

_Ujio stopped mid-action with one arm through the sleeve hole of his kataginu. He had half a mind to growl in jealousy at him. With Juro there, he wouldn't be able to..._

To what?

_Dismissing any ending to that sentence, he finished putting on the garment and tying its knots. "Do as you please."_

_Juro seemed more at ease with the response his brother gave him. "I'll tell chichi-ue."_

_Ujio reached for him and turned him. "Are you insane?! You're going to tell chichi-ue we're going to see the miko?"_

_He rolled his eyes. "I'm telling chichi-ue that we are going to the youkai village in the eastern lands to get supplies for the arrival of the other Daiyoukai next week."_

_Skeptical he asked, "And you think he's going to believe that?"_

"_Chichi-ue has never had any reason to mistrust us. Up until now, it has been Sesshoumaru that has pursued Kagome-san. Besides, we aren't lying. I do have to make a stop at a youkai village before we head to the Imperial city."_

_They exited the room and went to see their father. As planned, they both informed the Inu no Taishou of their destination. Thankfully, for both young demons, Lord Keiji had been reading a message with his officers that had his complete attention. He dismissed them both with a heaving sigh and told them not to be more than two days. _

_Leaving the grounds of the Crescent Moon, they were both engulfed in a green light that darted towards the youkai village at the edge of the Western lands. Juro entered a small hut while Ujio paced impatiently outside. Making his purchase, Juro exited the shop with a smile on his face._

_Ujio snarled as both were once again swallowed up in green. They traveled fast until the scent of the miko stopped them some ways from her home. Juro jumped on the highest cliff and lifted his nose, scenting for the gardenia trail. The snow had covered most of it but one thing about Kagome's scent was that it seemed to linger for days. It was as if the land itself rejoiced in her smell so much that it held on to it as much as possible._

_A tiny movement to his left alerted him to his brother. He turned to Ujio and noticed him scenting the air, too. Juro also noted that Ujio had his eyes closed._

_Opening his eyes, Ujio looked at Juro. "She went south. She's almost a quarter of a day away." He paused for a minute. "I don't think she's alone, though. There's a strong youki in that same direction and one that's extremely familiar. Let's hope that whatever Kami the psycho answers to, is with her today."_

_Juro felt his demon stir. "It's her, isn't it?" He didn't turn but he knew the black-haired inu nodded. "Let's hurry, then."_

_They tore through most trees and jumped over almost all the mountains trying to reach the miko in time. And as they neared the location, they became aware of two other humans that accompanied Kagome. One of the auras was strong and resembled somewhat that to Kagome - a houshi. The other aura was also instilled with some reiki but not as strong as the other two. It was young, a child perhaps._

_The two inu youkai stopped several feet away. They perched themselves on a high precipice where they watched the miko push the child and the monk to the side. A powerful youki entered the area fast and halted between the miko and her companions. _

_Recognition befell the inu brothers. "Chuntao." They whispered in unison. _

_Too stupefied by the appearance of the demoness, they failed to notice the graveness of the situation. Chuntao was a lethal demoness. She'd once been the commander of the armies of the Golden Ray. But the youkai was too out of control and was fast relieved of her position. She'd been angry at the dismissal and with good reason. _

"_You don't think she knows who Kagome's okaa-san is, do you?" Juro asked, in spite of knowing the answer._

"_What youkai doesn't know who the psycho-brat's mother is?"_

_Oh, yeah. This was fast spelling trouble with a capital 'T'. They watched as Chuntao sized the miko up._

_Despite the great distance, both demons could hear with crisp precision what was said between the two. Ujio and Juro smirked when Kagome made condescending comments at the cheetah. The smirks disappeared, though, when the demoness lunged at the miko._

_Juro was held back by a seething Ujio. "Not yet, brother. If we interfere, the miko would surely take out her anger on us, too. It is a fair fight - her fight - and unless she is in immediate risk of dying, we cannot interfere. Remember that she is still an ally to the Crescent Moon. We can defend her if need be."_

_The red-head inu growled then nodded grimly. That was something that Ujio knew and yet he couldn't stop the fast beating of his heart. But, in all honesty, it had been like that since the day he left her. _

_He couldn't get out of his head the fact that he'd almost kissed her. Even worst, he had let her kiss him. It wasn't even considered a kiss. He knew that. Still, the feel of her velvety lips on his neck had scattered all his thoughts and inhibitions. Her gardenia scent had invaded all his senses and all he could do was touch his lips to her neck. Ujio hadn't been able to move his lips. He'd been frozen on the spot. He could tighten his arms around her and pull her closer. _

_His breath had left him in a gasp when she had nibbled on his flesh. Kami! It had been the most erotic and sensual thing any female had ever evoked in him. But she had gotten hold of her mind and pushed him away. He'd been left utterly confused and weak. _

_Moreover, on his way back home, he had been so angry at her comments that he hadn't realized how much he smelled like the miko. It was a relief that their father had been patrolling the lands for the following evenings. He had successfully avoided the Inu no Taishou the past few days. Juro had been home, however, and had since then nagged incessantly about it. He hadn't known how to answer._

_Ujio hated her then. He hated Kagome for seeing and knowing him like no one else had. He hated that she was capable of making him feel all those things she had thrown to his face. He hated the fact that he, indeed, felt her inside himself. He felt a connection so strong that he was starting to doubt that he hadn't marked her while unconscious. More than anything, he hated her because she was starting to be a necessity. She was fast becoming an addiction he yearned for every waking moment._

_The strong smell of the miko's blood brought his attention back. "She's loosing, Ujio. Chuntao is too fast for her."_

_Both brothers observed the demoness sitting atop the miko and continue bickering. Kagome looked like a string-mat with all those cuts in her face yet the wounds didn't seem to faze her. Snow was falling much harder now and they could barely see what was happening. The inu youkai jumped down and ran quietly towards the area. What neko youkai lacked in scenting they made up in hearing. One small noise and the cheetah would know they were there. Juro motioned with his head that he was moving towards the other two humans. Ujio moved toward the two females bickering on the floor. They heard the demoness comment on Kagome's scent. Two sets of blue eyes met in concern. However, their concern turned to confusion when Chuntao mentioned a 'general'. _

_She smelled like a general?_

_It was the actions of the monk and the child that made them move back and hide in the snow. Chuntao jumped back and disappeared. They waited as the miko and the cheetah exchanged insults. They had to stifle a laugh at Kagome's answers._

_The argument didn't last long. Chuntao jumped out and in a fast movement threw two daggers - one at the child and the other at Kagome – as she pounced at the monk. The houshi barely managed to place his shakujo between him and demoness before being swept away. _

_Juro reacted and dove for the houshi and the child at the same time. The demoness roared in anger when she realized that her prey wasn't dead or even below her._

_Ujio dashed toward Kagome. The miko had managed to pull out the dagger from her hand as she placed the uninjured one over the gaping hold. Her face was carved with relief but the paleness told Ujio that something else was wrong. She turned her eyes up to him as if seeing him for the first time._

_He looked down at her injured face that was lined with a mixture of blood and snow. Her hair was completely down and a bit disheveled. Her black chihaya was slashed and barely hanging to her form. Yet, for the life of him, he couldn't help thinking of how breathtaking she looked. He swallowed and blinked away his treacherous thoughts. He pushed a strand of hair behind her dainty ear, away from her face. A wringing ache attacked his stomach. He knew what that signaled and still he ignored it. She didn't pull away._

_Pushing herself off the floor, Chuntao snarled in their direction. "Who the hell do you think you are? I found her. I will kill her. So whatever damn clans you belong to, you insolent mutts, you better crawl back to them before I decide to kill you, too!"_

_Miko and inu youkai both felt when someone stopped behind them. They didn't look back. They knew who it was. "I left them quite a distance from here. They're safe. Although, that houshi did burn me with one of those papers he carried."_

"_I'll remember to chastise him later. If he was going to start something, he should have finished it," Kagome added._

_Before he could reply, Chuntao moved closer to them. Juro moved to Kagome's right and Ujio to her left as they prepared to defend the miko. When the cheetah's blazing gaze fell on them, she widened her eyes. _

"_The Twin Rays." Her murmur more a question than a statement. She put one knee on the snowy ground, showing her respect._

_As confused as Kagome was, she didn't wait for them to tell her what their connection was or why the demoness had called them that. She charged at the cheetah with full force. With Kazuo out of sensing range, she was free to remove the barrier that blocked her scent. She caught the demoness by the side._

_Chuntao was momentarily dazed by the two inu youkai at the miko's side and the strong energy the miko released. The barrier that had been holding the miko back disappeared the moment the psycho-hunter ran at her. The hidden power seemed to seep from her every pore. The miko moved like any sleek cat._

_A hit to Chuntao's side brought her out of her musings. The miko picked her up by the neck, tossed her up the like a doll and kicked her mid-air. The youkai shook her head and lunged at her again. As she ran straight at her, Chuntao saw the miko smirk and then disappear. She stopped only to feel two swords, one at each side of her neck._

"_I thought I was going to suffer? Or were those just sweet words to get me to play with you, Fuzzy?"_

_Chuntao didn't get a chance to reply before she was pulled up and a few feet away from the miko. She was stunned to see that the youngest of the inu was holding her back to his chest and glaring down at her. His jo was restricting her movements. Blinking in confusion, she turned her sight to the miko, who was being held against the chest of the other inu youkai. He had his arm across her chest with one of his sai to her neck and the other sai pressing on the miko's lower back._

_The cheetah youkai took note of the situation, then for good measure, glared in the miko's direction. The psycho-hunter was ready to purify all three of them with one blink of her eyes. Her aura was growing increasingly and was making it harder to stay upright. She wondered how it was that the young demon lord could stand being that close to her. _

_Kagome gritted through her teeth. "What the hell do you think you're doing, Rex?"_

_Ujio held tighter to her, careful of the sai pressing against the small of her back. Her mark pushed at him with more intensity. "You can't kill her."_

"_The hell I can!"_

_Juro answered her. "No, you can't, Kagome-san. Chuntao is an officer of the Golden Ray."_

_The miko stilled for a moment. Then she continued to squirm. "I don't care what she is. She just put her name on my list. And unless you want me to forget who you are, you better let me go."_

"_That disgusting ningen deserves to die. She is the daughter of that traitor. Not only is she an abomination, but she also lacks the knowledge to give the respect the Twin Rays deserve. She must die!"_

_Ujio growled behind the miko. "You will not touch this miko. She is an ally to the Western lands."_

"_Kami, help you Rex, if you don't let go of me now!" Ujio chuckled. He let her go but kept close._

_Kagome was ramrod stiff beside him and clutched __her swords with a white-knuckled grip. Her features were even sharper now. Her eyes brittle. How she managed to look attractive like that he didn't know, but there was something about her and her anger that set his hormones on panting._

_Suddenly the verse she'd been singing after the attack with the Meinar started going through his head. Totally inapproprate, especially at this moment in time. Still he couldn't help wondering if anger really did make sex better. Then again, he had no real idea of what sex felt calm._

'_I really need to start letting myself out more.'_

_Kagome glanced up at him as if she could read his thoughts. Oh, that's good. Just what he needed - her inside his head, hearing the fact that he felt compelled by her angry looks. Wonderful. Just wonderful._

_He might as well blush like a pup while he was at it and tell her how hot she looked when ticked off. His luck, she'd stay that way._

"_Chuntao, you have no say in this matter. It was the Inu no Taishou, Yasu-sama and Fatsu-sama that made the alliance with her. You cannot attack her and expect to live. All three Daiyoukai would hunt you and shred you to pieces," Juro tried to warn._

"_More importantly, you cannot disobey an order from your Daiyoukai," Ujio stated._

_For a second, Chuntao was left thinking of the consequences. She was trained as a soldier of the Golden Ray to follow the orders of her leader. Yet, the miko represented all she had lost. It was because of the miko's mother and father that she had been exiled. What else could she lose now? She'd gladly give her life if it meant killing the psycho._

_She lifted her angry gaze at the miko. A gasp escaped her mouth when her yellow eyes fell upon something she had completely missed. Between her brows was something that she had never expected. It was tiny and barely visible, but it was there._

_The mark of the white inu youkai clan sat between auburn brows. She inhaled and was appalled to confirm what her eyes saw. She was marked!_

"_Y-you...belong...you...are mated...to a member of..." Chuntao stopped when the deranged miko stopped her actions and only glared in her direction. "Who...?"_

_The older inu answered. "It doesn't matter. All you need to know is that you can't kill this miko."_

_The cat youkai's face twisted in anger and disgust. "How could such honorable house fall so low?!"_

_That was the drop that spilled the glass. Kagome shouted in anger. She used her aura and threw Ujio behind her almost purifying him in the process. In one quick movement, she was next to Juro, pulling the cat youkai towards her and blasting the inu away._

_With a jerking movement, Kagome snapped the youkai's arms. She took out her naginata, crossed them before her and blew air at them. "Soyo Zetsu."_

_The snowstorm ceased only in the area they two inu youkai had just sat up when they saw Kagome utter her words. Her red blades turned to black dust and rushed into all the openings of Chuntao's body. The youkai stood immobile and then began to shake violently. Blood seeped out of all the places the dust had gone into as her body racked in pain. In no time, Chuntao fell to the ground dead. The miko simply held the hilts to her sides as the dust once more returned to them forming her black blades._

_Sheathing her naginata, she turned angrily at them. _

_Ujio didn't know what possessed him. Without thinking, he lashed at Kagome. The miko widened her eyes momentarily before blocking his attacks. He made a superficial cut on her neck before Juro grabbed him._

"_What is wrong with you, Ujio? She's mated to our brother. You could kill Sesshoumaru!"_

_Not even the miko had realized that by the look in her face. The words should have had a calming effect on the black-haired inu, but a reminder of her claim was having the opposite effect. He growled loudly in anger._

"_I told you not to kill her!" Even Chuntao deserved to be taken before the youkai council._

"_She attacked me first. I only defended myself and those under my protection. But I have no need to explain myself to the likes of you."_

_Juro stood between both of them. "Kagome-san, we don't condone what she did, but our laws prohibit us to take a life without permission from the youkai council. Chuntao was a soldier."_

"_I don't obey youkai laws. I was given a job years ago and given specific orders. I only kill youkai that are on my List. She signed her name herself the moment she tried to kill the kid!"_

_Ujio pointed one of his sai at her. "You are insane! She wouldn't have killed you knowing what she discovered!"_

"_Would you have liked to bet your brother's life on that?"_

_The thought gave them pause. Ujio and Juro looked at each other. Then, Ujio questioned her. "What list? Show me."_

"_You cannot see it."_

"_Then how do we know what you say is true. How do we know that you aren't just killing youkai for your twisted fun?"_

_Kagome looked at them and they had to question their own sanity and sight. She looked so pale and tired. Her shoulders were slumped and her aura was almost non-existant. The miko fell to her knees but used her swords to remain upright. Her gaze lifted and it paralyzed both demons, seering them with the graveness of her words. "If I truly enjoyed killing for my own pleasure, I would have killed Sesshoumaru when I first met him. If I truly enjoyed killing, you would have been dead the moment you delivered that first message. If I truly enjoyed killing, Juro would have been purified when I opened the door to the hall outside your father's study and saw him standing there."_

_Juro stood above Kagome. "Why haven't you killed us?"_

_Snorting, Kagome glanced quickly to the side. A barrier surrounded her. All three felt the incoming auras. "I told you, Butch. I only kill what I'm told. You're not on my list...yet." _

_The monk and the child came running into the area. One hand inside the lapel of his robe, the houshi was already preparing to attack them with hamafuda. Eriko was holding tightly to her bow._

_Kazuo entered the area and was enraged to see Kagome on her knees before two youkai. She was weak and the poison from the dagger was already taking its toll on the young miko. He took out the purifying scrolls and threw them at the two youkai that were in no apparent hurry to leave. They hadn't even looked at him. Their gaze was directed at the woman almost buried in the snow._

_Before the scrolls touched their skins, Kagome appeared before them; her aura dissolved the hamafuda that would have otherwise purified both inu youkai. Kazuo stopped dead in his tracks._

"_Kagome-sama. What are you doing?" _

"_I killed her already. That was all the vermin I had to kill today." She walked slowly toward the monk and child._

_Kazuo frowned and looked between the two youkai and the miko. "We can't let them live. They will surely attack someone."_

_Kagome stopped again. "I can't kill them, Kazuo. I'm not allowed to. You know that and I will surely not add to my sentence."_

"_Just try it, monk. I would like to see you try and kill me." Ujio quipped._

"_He attacked you. That cut on your neck came from his weapon. Are you willing to let that go by without repurcussions?"_

_Trying to get a reaction, and perhaps an explanation to her actions, Ujio taunted her. "Yes, I did. Will you kill me now, psycho-brat?"_

_Kagome wouldn't look at them. "I'm willing to spare you because you chose the welfare of an innocent human over your own…" Kagome glanced at Eriko before she spoke again. "And over that of someone you have no ties to. In my book, that makes you worth forgiving."_

_Ujio was stunned by her__ turnaround. It didn't seem logical. "So you're bowing out of this."_

_Kagome scoffed. "'Bowing out' implies a chivalry I lack. Let's just say, lucky for you, I didn't find what I needed to. The messengers only kill for a reason, and that reason has to be justified to the Kami or we're executed." She wiped at the blood on her neck that was left by the sai he had used to slash at her. "Killing you isn't worth my life. But you still have a miko who wants you dead. Watch your back."_

_Juro smiled at her. "Thank you, miko."_

"_Don't thank me, Juro. I didn't do a favor here. I just did my job."_

_Kagome motioned with her head to the monk and child to go on ahead. Despite his doubts, Kazuo walked ahead with Eriko at his side giving one last warning glance to the two youkai. Juro reached for the miko's shoulder and gently turned her. He grabbed her hand and placed something small. He felt a small prick in his stomach at the contact with the miko._

_She looked down at her closed wrist. Then opened it to reveal a white pouch. Lifting her puzzled gaze to him, she asked. "Nan desu ka (What is it?)"_

_Juro smiled down at her. He lost himself in her lavender eyes. There was something utterly mesmerizing about those eyes. They were filled with so many emotions that he wondered if Kagome ever realized how many things she could evoke in a male. He didn't think so. Kagome had a sensuality and attractiveness that went unnoticed by her. She had a way to her that made it hard not to look and feel aroused. _

_Her brows furrowed and that reminded him of whose mark she bore. "It's something that I saw and I thought of you. It's not much." He offered another gentle smile. "Open it._

_Kagome's lips parted slightly at his confession. She didn't know what to say. She knew she should throw it in his face, but she found she couldn't. Doing as she was told, she was again surprised by his actions. Inside the pouch were two strips of the most beautiful green ribbon she'd ever seen. Even the material seemed unearthly._

"_I know blue is your choice of color, but I think that green suits you more."_

"_It's my favorite color." Her head snapped up at her confession. If she didn't watch her tongue, she might end up confessing to all three of them things she didn't want them to know. Ever._

_Kagome fisted her hand and scowled. "I don't need your petty gifts." _

"_I didn't mean to offend you, Kagome-san."_

"_I take offense to anything that comes from any of you," she sneered. Throwing the small pouch at him, she turned to glare at Ujio. "Stop following me, Rex. I'm in no mood for your sniffing." She glared at Juro. "And that goes for you,too, Butch."_

_She faded into the darkness._

_Juro looked through narrowed eyes at Ujio and through gritted teeth asked, "Care to explain what she meant by that, __**Rex**__?"_

_Arching a brow and pushing down his growing jealousy, he answered in much the same manner. "I have no idead, **Butch**."_

* * *

I was trying not to fall from the dizziness the poison was causing and the lack of good sight. I could feel Kazuo and Eriko's aura close by. They were waiting for me. From my travels I had learned to tell where I was by the position of the stars, but the weather wasn't helping. Yet, I noticed earlier that we were close to a town, maybe about half an hour in the direction I was heading.

When I caught up to them, they said nothing. Eriko was probably too cold and Kazuo was confused. I made a mental note to travel with Eriko only when the weather was like this.

Arriving at the town, we were instantly given lodging and food. Eriko ate, took a hot bath and rapidly fell asleep. Kazuo brewed a tea for me that would lessen the effects of the poison. I was still going to wake up with a massive headache. After I finished it, I went to sit outside despite the biting weather. He joined me shortly.

We sat quietly for some minutes but I could tell he wanted an explanation for what happened. "Look, I know where my duties lie. I made an oath to the Kami and I'm not trying to find a way to break it."

"That's not what concerns me."

"Then what is ?" I asked.

"Do you remember what the Kami told you the night you were made a betsushikime?"

"Nothing comes without a price."

"Exactly. These youkai are inside you, little sister. I saw the way they looked at you and the way you looked at them. There's something you're keeping from me - something that ties you to them. Especially the one with the black hair. I felt a strong connection inside you two. If you don't get him out, he will unlock those powers you were taught to bury."

He was right. I did feel a connection with Ujio. I had felt it since I placed the herbal paste to heal his wounds. That shouldn't have been the outcome. It had left me thinking these past few days and I couldn't find a reason other than the fact that the mixture had included a tiny dosage of my blood. As ludicrous as it sounded, I liked it. I had never felt connected to anyone on the level that I was to this particular being.

"Would that be so bad?" I whispered, not really expecting a response.

Kazuo removed his straw hat and gave me a hard, serious, stare with those wise, compassionate eyes of his. "Yes, it would. You are the one messenger we all depend on to have a clear, level head. You are our leader. We need you to stay focused, especially since we have youkai fest coming up in a few months and kuro miko out to kill you.

Your emotions are the key to your powers, Kagome. When you lose your control, you lose your ability to act rationally, and I don't want to see you dead because you can't control your desires."

_Desires? For Rex? As if!_

"Don't worry. I'm under control."

"Good. Just make sure you stay that way because if you don't, you _will_ get yourself killed."

* * *

**Hello,**

**It's been quite a while since I have updated this story. A lot has happened in these past months…**

**First, I'd like to thank those of you who are still out there waiting for updates. Thank you so much.**

**It has taken so much for me to get back to doing all the things I had once done – work, school…life. As most of you know, my Keshiro had an accident last year. And those who have stuck around, I still can't thank you all for the warm wishes and prayers for his speedy recovery.**

**Unfortunately, a medical "slip" (as they call it) took a turn for the worst. My Kesh… developed an acute peritonitis. As much as they tried to help him, he slipped into a coma on June 8 and on July 24 my Kesh passed away at 2:37 am.**

**It's been hard but thankfully I've been able to pull through. I'm slowly coming into my normal routine and continuing with all the plans we had…mainly for him.**

**And well, he always encouraged my writing. So here I am putting my all into a story that has so much of him and what we had shared.**

**So, I hope I haven't completely lost all of you.**

**As usual please review.**

**Reika**


	46. Chapter 46

**CHAPTER 44**

_**Then bring me wine, the banquet bring;**_

_**Man was not formed to live alone…**_

_**- Lord Byron, "One Struggle More, and I am Free"**_

**1204 A.D. ~ **_**mid NOVEMBER**_

It was well past two weeks into the new month and my worry had turned into anger. Sesshoumaru had not come nor even thought of sending a message. It is said that bad news travels fast. If something had happened to him, I would have known it by now. Besides, Ujio and Juro would have said something. To avoid any suspicions I would occupy myself praying at the shrine and perfecting my fighting techniques. By now my father had begun spending time with me and tutoring me on my duties as future empress. However, until the time when he could no longer be emperor, he wished for Hiro and me to oversee parts of the empire as training.

Hiro attended these meetings as well as all the daimyo. Most of them were not too happy about a woman and a country samurai leading the greatest empire when the okami first announced our engagement. My father, though, made sure to remind them that the direct descendants of Amaterasu were the only ones who could rule. Being the only direct descendant, there would be no room for argument that I would rule after my father and that he, as an embodied Kami, chose Hiro through divine sight. Our Shinto-based government allowed for absolute trust for what the Tenno ever said. With no room for argument, the nobles said no more.

There was so little I wanted to offer during the meetings that I usually found my mind wandering. Three things occupied my mind daily. The first and most important was my 'painful episodes' that seemed to get worse each time. The agonizing aches left me extremely weak and without the usual "meal", it was getting harder to heal faster. Kirara was usually the supplier of said meal and under no circumstances had ever mentioned where she got them from. That was what led to my second worry.

_Kirara._

Admitting that I missed her was like admitting that she was right. Yes, I worried about where she was and what she could be doing. Still, both our prides would not allow for swaying. We were the same in that sense. It would be a long time before she would accept that her departure and hostility were uncalled for. I just hoped that that day came by soon. Somehow, my life felt even emptier without her than it did at this moment when Sesshoumaru was not here.

And that was the final concern. As much as I loved Sesshoumaru, and missed him to a point that I sometimes found myself almost wanting to go look for him on my own, there was always Yasuhani.

Now, more than ever, I was convinced that my dream companion was Sesshoumaru. His physical similarities came in second to the connection I felt with him. The dreams only served to confirm that not only were our paths meant to cross, but also that we were destined to be together. Yasuhani was a link between our souls when we could not be together in the real world. Until now, I had failed to realize this. _And the realization allowed me to freely enjoy my dreams for once without the guilt and the darkness of my nightmares!_

"...and that would make things much easier for the empire. It will eliminate the pressure on my end and on theirs. Do not you think so, hime?"

Suddenly I felt all eyes on me. It was a relief when Hiro immediately, noticing my derailment from the conversation, answered for me. "I think that both, Kagome-hime and I would find that more than accommodating."

With the grin of a Cheshire cat, my father simply nodded appreciatively towards Hiro. The other daimyo seemed pleased as well with his answer. _Surprising, when only a few moments earlier they all looked down on him from under their noses as if he were an insect they wished to squash._

The shuffling sound of clothing and feet caught my attention once more. I looked up from my place on the floor to see that the okami had already dismissed the council and only Hiro and I remained before his throne.

His deep monotone voice echoed throughout the great hall. "Is there anything else you wished to address, daughter?"

"No, Tenno," I answered inasmuch the same way.

"Very well, you may leave."

Hiroyaki would have reached down for me but I was already half way out of the huge throne room when he lifted himself. As I exited, I felt him come up next to me. "Is something worrying you?"

There was. Nevertheless, I wasn't about to let him know that. I snorted indignantly at his question. "Nothing worries me."

"Well, it just seemed that you were not entirely interested in the conversation in there," he added sheepishly, all the while rubbing the back of his neck.

I stopped. "I told you that I accepted this because it is expected of me. I would appreciate it if you realized that by now. I'm not going to change Hiroyaki. I don't love you and I never will. Marrying you is a requirement and necessity for the good of the empire. It's not something that will benefit _us_ in any way. Spending a few evenings together doesn't make us friends much less lovers. It'd be wise for you to understand that the title of husband and wife are just that - _titles_."

He looked me in the eye. Imagine my surprise when he only smiled at me, his gaze filled with nothing but sincerity. "I know. That, however, doesn't mean that you will always feel this way." Then, he walked down the steps and turned half way to the bottom. "I told you that I have waited for you since you left. I'll continue waiting."

I let him walk away. There was no need to correct him on his mistake.

Making my way into the city, I stopped by some shops, looking for some things that I still needed for the spell that would conceal my mating mark. As I walked through the streets of the city, I took the time to fully appreciate it. In the years since my return to the city, I hadn't once taken a reprieve or any kind of vacation. What was more, I had not taken the time to walk amongst people. Then again, I hated company and surprisingly, I still did.

Men, women and children wove their way around my person, bowing and smiling forcefully. Every living being who knew of me, remembered how much I hated being touched. If my darkened aura didn't scare them away, my condescending glare usually did. I never thought myself above any of them because of my social standing. On the other hand, the Kami had painfully instilled in me that any kind of human contact with me would soil the other person.

Nearing Kotoku-in, I noticed several mothers and their children playing by the gardens that surrounded it. I paused shortly to glance at their movements. The mothers talked with each other, sharing the antics of their children and laughing. Every so often, a child would run to their mother and hug them, then run off once more to continue playing in the snow with the rest of his or her friends.

At that moment, I felt my blood run down my body and a cold dread settle inside me.

_How could something so important escape me? How could I have been so stupid as not to realize the possible consequences!_

"A child," the word escaped my lips in a deadly whisper. I swallowed.

With the horrible realization, came the feeling of rejection. The thought of being pregnant had not once entered my mind since I'd left the Kuroi Hoshi. I'd been too high in the feeling of freedom that had come with being with Sesshoumaru that I'd blocked out any common sense. Now, the truth brought me crashing down to the real world and the thought didn't sit too well.

I turned it over my head several times as I looked at the women before me. My gaze turned to a woman whose belly was protruding out of her cheap kimono. I watched as she smiled and caressed her swollen stomach. The other women smiled in return and also placed their hands on her belly and laughed at something she offered.

I felt sick.

_I don't want that! I don't want that! I don't want a child!_

I was surprised by the voice in my head. Unfortunately, hard as I may, I couldn't deny my feelings. I didn't want to be pregnant. I was not a mother. I was neither warm nor loving. I didn't want a weakness. Because for all its "joy", a child would be nothing but a weakness to me.

More than anything, I realized that this child would be more than a weakness. _It would be a hanyou!_

I growled in disgust. Not so much at it being a half-breed, but at what I had done.

_**FLASHBACK**_

They all ran, but I wasn't about to let any of them live.

The males. They would be the first to die. It didn't matter whether they were human or youkai. What they had done, was an unspeakable thing. As I passed by, I drove a purification-infused arrow through the male youkai. To the human males, I cut their heads off.

The females. They would die next. I entered every home where human females were crouched clutching their abominations to their chests. I ripped _the things_ away from them and drove my sword through the women's stomachs. Then I killed _them. No more abominations!_

I followed some of the female youkai that had thought to be safe leaving the haven of their village. _How wrong they were!_ It took more effort and several days, but I managed to track each one of them and kill them and their offspring.

I had felt no remorse. There was no guilt. I was a messenger of the Kami, a miko. I was sent to rid this land of its pollution and corruption. None of those killings stirred any feeling within me.

None. Until her...

I found the last one, a half-breed. A female. Sixteen - two years older than me.

She was growling at me from her crouched position at the edge of the cliff. I had cornered her. It was either jump off or attack me. I welcomed the attack.

"We had done nothing to you! We lived in peace! None of us ever harmed anyone, human or youkai! Why did you do this?" It yelled angrily at me.

I smirked darkly. "I'm a messenger."

She looked at me with anger and fear in her eyes. "You've judged and killed. Have you ever thought about what awaits you? You've killed more innocents than you helped! How can you stand there so self-righteous and judge us."

Her retort caught me off guard. It only served to bring forth the image of the incident from the year before.

_The old woman_ _from the village..._ _"You were supposed to protect us. We trusted you."_

She laughed at my inner struggle. "I won't give you the satisfaction of killing me, psycho-hunter. But I will die knowing you will get what is coming to you." With those words she jumped off the cliff to her death.

Not even a half youkai would have survived that fall.

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

"Kagome? Are you all right?" Kazuo asked concerned. Even he avoided touching me in fear of my reaction.

Blinking away the memory, I nodded stiffly and walked behind him into the inner yard. Stopping at the entrance, I removed my sandals. The sounds of the chants echoed throughout the temple as we entered. We winded though several passages until we arrived at the center of the temple. In the middle, sitting in meditation with other students, Eriko sat perfectly still. I commended Kazuo on that particular feat. Kami only knew that the girl couldn't sit still for the life of her.

Waiting for her daily meditation to end, Kazuo took the time to explain the progress of the miko-in-training. I listened intently noting how fast she was picking up and how far ahead of her classmates she was. Soon, it would be time for me to train her on using her powers as an offensive strategy and teaching her Kyudo. Physical training would come much later in her teaching, after I knew that all other areas had been mastered.

"She has easily learned to control her power. Her barrier-erecting capabilities are excellent and she is also good at keeping her emotions in check despite the influence of outside sources. All in all, I think that she is ready for the next phase."

I looked at him. "The girl has only been training for one month Kazuo. It is far too little time. I need her to be in complete control. No miko, even those that began training at the appropriate time, have mastered self-control in such a short period."

"You did," he responded quickly.

Keeping my eyes on her, I replied. "You're wrong on that. I'm the _only_ one who never learned self-control." I lifted myself. "I need you to keep practicing with her. She isn't ready yet. Take her with you to Minami Ashigara by the end of the month."

Already several feet away from him, he questioned me. "Sumimasen, Kagome, but I thought you just said for me to take her to Minami Ashigara. I couldn't possibly be hearing right, could I?"

I turned around and fixed him with a bored stare. "You heard right."

He walked up to my side, accompanying me to the exit. "Kagome, I know you haven't forgotten what exactly lives in that particular region. So, please tell me why you want me to take an apprentice to her death in youkai territory."

Giving him another bored look and a roll of my eyes, I explained. "I'm not asking you to go leave her there. My intention is for you to expose her to danger and see what kind of reaction she has. After the incident with the cheetah, I want to keep exposing her to danger so she may get used to it and not cower. She's had Kirara, me and now you to take care of her. I am well aware of her progress and I know what she's capable of. If I'm right, which I know I am, you will see why I'm asking this."

"And if you're wrong?" he asked worried.

I shrugged. "Well, then, that's one less apprentice to worry about."

He stopped and looked at me horrified. When he realized it was only a sarcastic comment, he shook his head at me. "You better be right about this Kagome. Because if you're not, I will forget you are Kyo's sister, our hime and a messenger of Buddha."

I growled at this response. "Don't ever call me that again!"

"Whether you like it or not, you are the okami's daughter and our princess. And someday, you will be our empress. You can't escape who you are, no matter how many people you scare away or how many dark layers you dress yourself in."

"Yeah, well, tell me that when you've lived the life I have." His eyes saddened and I walked ahead. I hated when anyone looked at me that way. With pity.

"That aside, I want to tell you something else that concerns you."

"What?" I tossed over my shoulder as I continued through the turns. This particular temple tried my patience with its many twists and turns. Most of the time I ended up lost.

"There's been a change in the flow of auras in our city."

"Yeah, so? Nothing new."

"Kagome, stop," and I did. "I've lived here since I was born and I know what each and every aura feels like. Every man, woman and child – even the animals within and outside the borders of our city. But for some time now, a particular aura has rippled differently."

"Different? How?" I asked, dreading where this was going. However, I remained calm.

"It's changing. It's...reshaping - for lack of a better word." Kazuo walked around to face me. "It's your aura."

I stared at him. For a few seconds, I didn't know how to respond to that. Anything I said could steer him toward Sesshoumaru. It was bad enough that he knew about the other two brothers already. Breathing steadily, keeping my appearance blank and trying to slow my erratic heartbeats, I crossed my arms and leaned on the wall next to me.

"My aura?" I asked uninterested.

"Usually, and don't take this the wrong way, please," he added rapidly. "Usually, your aura is menacing, unpredictable, overbearing...it was impossible to be with you in the same room without feeling suffocated by you. But since you came back a month ago...it's somehow...trying to rearrange itself around something else."

Eying him wearily, I dug deeper into his ponderings. "Something else?"

"Yes. It's as if you're trying to blend yourself with another aura." I almost slipped off the wall at how close he came to the truth.

"I'm still young in terms of miko. My powers could still be changing and adjusting. Remember that I, unlike other miko, have developed differently. My physical growth is too closely linked to my powers."

"Yes I know that, too. Yet, it's not the same." He grabbed the edge of my sleeve.

"Kazuo, as a man of the cloth, you're the only one whose opinion and wisdom I respect because you have somewhat of an idea of how hard it is to be in a place like mine. It's hard to be bias. It's hard to follow what those _Higher Beings_ tell us to do. Sometimes going beyond our own morals. But you're treading into dangerous grounds with me. If I tell you that I'm fine and that there is nothing to worry about then drop it." I finished with an arctic tone.

"If you hate the Kami so much, why follow their orders? You have always had a choice, Kagome. You could always leave the Shikon in someone else's care and walk away from everything." He replied, not at all fazed by my previous tone.

Half angry, half exasperated, I turned my back to him. "All of you think this is so easy. That just like all you houshi and miko, I can just wake up and say 'I don't want to do this anymore' and just continue living. You think I wanted this - this life?"

Whirling back to face him, I continued. "You think I like being both judge and executioner to everyone? Well, I don't. But they just won't go away. Every day...every night...they whisper in my ear. Every time I sit down to meditate, I hear their orders. They won't let me go. I was cursed from the very moment Kyo died. It was my mother's burden to carry...and now its mine. But unlike her, I wasn't given a choice. I was branded and I am now a slave to them."

My voice didn't betray my rage. I had remained rooted to my spot, only glaring in his direction. My eyes were the only indication of my anger.

"I know all too well about the orders. You're the one that receives them and gives them to us. You're the only one the Kami will talk to." he murmured.

"Then don't insult me by saying I can just leave and forget! It is my price to pay so all of you can have your freedom!" I left without so much as I goodbye.

* * *

_Kazuo regretted bringing up the issue the moment her eyes darkened and her aura sizzled once more with the electric force that choked and constricted his airways. He'd only brought up the topic once when Kagome had just returned from her training up in the monastery. He'd still been angry at the forced life he'd had. And just like that day, he lamented his words._

_That fateful day, he had learned the price she would pay for all of them - miko, houshi, priests. Any one with spiritual powers was given a gift when she was offered in payment. He had never really wanted to become a houshi. His lineage consisted of such people, but all he had wanted, was to be a farmer._

_He had envisioned a peaceful life with a wife and children. However, his father had taken him to the city's Buddhist temple as was customary at his young age, and left him there without even explaining anything. He'd been angry at his father for a long time after that._

_Nevertheless, he overtook his duties and tried to excel in everything. Four years later the head monk had taken him under his wing at the same temple and remained there until this very day. _

_It wasn't until Kagome came back and he told her about his own training that he understood that last day at the temple - that option he was offered. Not till then did he really comprehend his role in life and the sacrifice that was offered for such gift._

_Kazuo watched her leave the temple. After Kyo had been beheaded, he had tried to be as close to a brother-like figure as possible. However, Kagome had been so overcome by her own darkness and that of the world that she still refused to let anyone in. No one had been able to take away the anger and hatred she seemed to gather for herself._

_Weeks ago, though, things had changed. He noticed a change in her person and her power. She seemed a little more at ease in the presence of others. And her aura..._

_He only hoped that whatever was changing her was for her own good. He would keep an eye on her whether she like it or not._

* * *

_A few days after Chuntao's death..._

_The three Daiyoukai were not particularly happy that Chuntao had been disposed of in that manner. However, they had all agreed that given the circumstances, the cheetah had signed her own death warrant. Kagome was in her right to kill the cat and would not be held responsible for her actions._

_After the northern and southern Daiyoukai had left, the Inu no Taishou had a very long (and painful) talk with his two sons. He demanded to know how they had found the miko when her location was nowhere near the eastern village. Of course, they had explained that the scent of the cheetah had 'accidentally' led them to the human. They had been suspicious of Chuntao's motives for being in Nihon and knowing what the youkai was capable, had followed her. Not quite content, but more calm with their explanation he sent Ujio to the Northern lands to a meeting with Yasu-sama's general. Ujio would soon become the Western army's first non-Daiyoukai general and he needed to begin forming the alliances with the other generals._

_Before he left though, he asked a question that had been nagging at him._

"_Chichi-ue, there was something that was said to Kagome," he looked at his father. The Inu no Taishou was livid, but his demeanor was calm. "Kagome was told that she smelled like 'him'. Like a 'general'."_

_They watched as a shadow passed over his features. His nostrils flared a bit, but then he composed himself. "Where did you hear this?"_

_Juro responded. "Chuntao told Kagome. She said that she was going to take her head to the general that turned her away. What did she mean?"_

_Lord Keiji stood and walked to the balcony outside, holding tightly to the railing. He stared down at the armies on the southern edge practicing. He closed his eyes for a moment. This was not good. Chuntao had been a liability since the beginning and he had known it. But Kagome's father had not seen that and had allowed her to return to the Mainland knowing that it could be dangerous. He hated to admit that he was relieved to know that Chuntao wasn't a threat to them anymore._

"_Are you that general? Is that why you refuse to acknowledge any kind of relationship between her and Sesshoumaru?" Ujio asked._

_The Inu no Taishou let out a sarcastic laugh. "Ignorant pups! Is that what you think? That I betrayed my own mate? That Kagome is my pup? Don't you think she would have my scent?"_

_Ujio stood and walked next to him. "Well, yes. But you have to admit that it wouldn't be too farfetched. It would stand to reason why you go out of your way to include her in our family. Why you defend her against anyone and why you won't allow Sesshoumaru to mate her."_

_Keiji looked down at his eldest. He turned back to his desk and sat down. Ujio followed him back but didn't sit. Juro had been thinking the same since Chuntao uttered those words. _

"_If that isn't true, then what was Chuntao talking about?" Juro questioned._

_Lord Keiji looked at his hands that were holding tightly to the edge of his desk. "Kagome is a human. She is the daughter of a human ruler and a miko. She is not my pup. Her mother and I only had...we had...an alliance. And before Midoriko died, she had me promise to look after Kagome. It was the least I could do after all the help Midoriko had given to me. She knew Kagome would need all the help she could get."_

"_Then what other general could Chuntao be referring to?"_

_He growled low in his throat. "Her father had been a general. It has been rumored that he had dealings with youkai before he came to rule. One of those deals included Chuntao, and as far as I know, it didn't go as planned. Eventually, the okami mated Midoriko and the rest you know of. That is why he taught Kagome to hate youkai." _

_Both demons absorbed the information. It explained everything. Still, it was just too perfect. Why would their father even bother with the miko?_

"_I can understand Chuntao's hate for Kagome's father. Why did Chuntao hate Midoriko?"_

_For a brief moment, Juro didn't think his father was going to answer him. He had been staring at his hands the entire time he had been talking. "She was infatuated with Kagome's father."_

_They hadn't expected __**that**__ answer! _

"_Now go and do what I asked. I don't want to talk about this anymore."_

_They stood and left without any more words. Ujio headed for his room and gathered his weapons. Making sure he was completely alone, he reached inside his obi and took out the thin blue ribbon. It had been left on the snow-covered ground after Kagome left. He had crouched to pick up his sai and found it lying next to it. He was going to give it back to her but instead had tucked it in his obi. _

_Using one of his claws, he tore it in half and wrapped each piece to the knuckle of his two sai. Laughing at his stupidity, he covered them with their usual leather straps and placed them at his sides. He jumped off his balcony, bade farewell to his brother and sprinted off. _

* * *

_That same night..._

_Juro was sitting on the roof of the hut that housed the weapons of the Western army, entirely ignoring the light fall of snow. It was long past midnight but he couldn't sleep. There were just so many things going through his mind. Closing his eyes, he laid back using his arms as a pillow._

_There was a crescent moon tonight. _

_Just like the one that was beginning to form between Kagome's perfect brows. He opened his eyes and scowled. _

_As much as he had tried to understand why he was so bothered by this, he still couldn't figure it out. He shouldn't feel like this. Not just because it was Sesshoumaru she was mated to, but also because he had long ago chosen someone else. However, the notion of forgetting completely about the miko was something he had yet to accomplish. Something inside kept pecking at his mind, repeating over and over that until she was bonded to Sesshoumaru, there existed a small chance._

_A chance for what, he didn't know._

_He wasn't even sure if he would ever want to mate the miko. While the idea was not bad - in fact, he could definitely savor its advantages - he didn't want to do anything that could do permanent harm. _

_For one thing, there was Sesshoumaru. They were brothers, family. He'd seen how full of life his brother had been when they had fetched him weeks ago. The youngest of the three had never been this happy. Sesshoumaru deserved to be with her._

_But..._

_But didn't all three of them deserved to be happy? Didn't all of them deserve the same chance to be with the one they wanted? Didn't they all deserve the chance to fight for Kagome?_

_He sat up suddenly, angry at his own selfishness. This wasn't like him! He had never acted this way with any of Sesshoumaru's females. Not even when he had chosen 'her'. And that was just another thing that circled in his mind. He had to admit that part of him didn't quite trust his brother. Sesshoumaru changed females just as easily as he changed his clothes. Would Kagome have the same fate? Would he throw her away when he grew tired of her?_

_A furious rumble escaped his lips. Kagome wasn't the most innocent and definitely not a delicate flower. Yet, even she didn't warrant such treatment._

_An image of her confused face appeared in his mind. He would forever remember the look on her countenance when he gave her the ribbons he had bought for her. He hadn't even given it a second thought when he had seen them on his last trip to that specific youkai village. But the moment he saw them, something inside told him they would be perfect for her._

_She was headstrong, powerful, and intelligent._

_Perhaps that was what he liked about her. He had only encountered women that pretended or tried to be something they weren't. All the females that surrounded them had only seen opportunity. The miko was different. She held no fear of anything or anyone. Like a powerful untamed beast, she was defiant and bold. Unyielding in anyone's presence._

_Eccentric and idiosyncratic to the extreme, she is a living legend among all living beings. No one ever knows what to expect when Kagome enters a scene. He had to agree with human - and most youkai males - when they said that there has never been a mortal who could equal her physical perfection. She possessed a raw, rare kind of charisma. To look at her is to want her. To see her is to ache to touch her. It's as if she was built to please and trained to pleasure. Everything about her from the perfect curves of her body to the deep, erotic richness of her voice seduced anyone that came in contact with her. Like a lethal wild animal, she moved with a primal promise of danger and feminine power. With the promise of sexual fulfillment._

_His groin tightened with that thought. Images of her legs wrapped around his waist as he pounded into her with wild abandonment surged forward. He could almost hear her soft moans of pleasure as he suckled on her breasts and his hands wondered, touched and caressed every last inch of her. He could hear his name whispered as he continued to drive himself further into her. Feel her hands as she touched him and pulled him closer to her._

_Juro ran a clawed-hand over his face to drive the image away._

_Unfortunately for him, he hadn't dallied with any females for quite some time. Unlike Sesshoumaru, who enjoyed filling every single one of his sexual desires or Ujio who only sought female companionship when he couldn't fight the urge any longer, he found an inner strength that allowed him to restrain himself. Back then, he had made a promise. Too bad that promise would never come true. Unless by some miracle, the Daiyoukai changed his mind._

_Or Sesshoumaru changed his._

_He growled again. What the hell was wrong with him? Lusting after a mated female? Fate was surely having some laughs at their expense. _

_Yes! 'Them'!_

_Ujio might want to deny it all he wanted, but there was so much more to his visits. He hadn't missed the way Ujio had looked at Kagome when they had interceded in her fight with Chuntao. He was just as lost in those eyes as he had been._

_God, what the hell was happening to them? The worst thing, he had to recognize, was that the miko was doing absolutely nothing! _

_Pushing himself up, he jumped down and quickly made for his room. He needed an ice cold bath!_

* * *

_Kami, she's going to kill me!_

_That was all that ran through his head as he leapt and destroyed everything in his path. He was more than a few days late. He'd return home on time but duty and family had kept him home._

_Days on end during his trip had had him on edge, snapping at every and any who'd so much as glanced his way. He'd counted the days till his return and the chance to seek her, whisk her away for some time and bask himself in her._

_Earlier this evening, when his father stepped into his study to have his monthly meeting with the other two Daiyoukai, he saw his opportunity. Agreeing on their stories, two very reluctant older inu brothers helped him escape._

_Hopefully a months waiting without news wouldn't go as bad as he saw it play in his head._

_Deep down inside he knew what awaited him! And he wouldn't be disappointed._

* * *

Hello,

I want to thank all of you who have stuck around all this time, waiting for an update. It seems that after all this time I have finally, or mostly, begun a life once again. And with it my love for writing.

I promise that all of you at least a chapter (or maybe two) every two weeks.

Again, thanks.

Reika


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